


The Murder Suspect

by CarleeAdison



Series: The Murder Suspect [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bookworm Jason, Hades is an asshole, M/M, Sexual Content, canon character death, kinda dark at points, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-14 07:04:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 221,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2182425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarleeAdison/pseuds/CarleeAdison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bianca di Angelo’s murderer is loose in Manhattan and everyone is convinced that it’s Nico, her younger brother. The issue? No one has seen Nico since the night Bianca died. But Jason Grace doesn’t care much about all of that. He’d rather bury his nose in a good murder mystery novel than a real life murder. Nico di Angelo hardly matters to him. At least, until he comes face to face with the alleged killer and learns the dark truth of what really happened the night Bianca died. Now Jason is neck deep in Nico di Angelo’s world, for better or for worse. </p><p>All in all, it’s not the best time to fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just Your Typical Day In Manhattan (Minus The Typical Part)

**Author's Note:**

> At long last, today is the day! Welcome to my new story, The Murder Suspect. Ever since the idea came to me last February, I have been eager to share this story with the Jasico community. Now I finally am going to, with a new chapter every Friday! That is, unless I ever catch up to where I currently am in the story (as of now I’m working on chapter 12) and in that case the update schedule will likely change. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy reading this fic as much as I have enjoyed writing it!

          

**Sixteen Year Old Nico di Angelo Still Missing After Murder of His Sister, Now Prime Suspect.**

Jason eyed the headline warily—one of the dozens over the past few weeks that all said more or less the same thing. The media hadn’t shut up about “New York’s Newest Teenage Psychopath” since the story first hit the scene. Jason had assumed the story would be old news by now, but each day the suspected killer remained loose, the murder only got bigger and bigger, news of it spreading across the entire northeastern United States.

It was hard to believe that it had been over two whole weeks since all of this commotion started. Two weeks since Nico vanished seemingly into thin air. The last person to see him? _Bianca_ , the newspapers always reported dramatically, as if it were part of some soap opera and not real life. So where was Nico? Over eight million people wanted to know.

It all began when Maria and Hades di Angelo had arrived home from a date night to find their daughter Bianca’s blood splattered over the walls. According to the police, there was no sign of forced entry _and_ all of the doors had remained locked that night, meaning that no one else but Nico could have done it. On top of that, his fingerprints were all over Bianca’s body and the knife that killed her. The evening news also reported, perhaps with a little _too_ much enthusiasm to be tasteful, that Bianca’s body had suffered multiple wounds. Her murderer, whoever they were had stabbed her several times before actually killing her, or perhaps that they killed her and then continued to stab her for good measure. Jason didn’t know which one would be worse.

It was all so bizarre. Jason went to school with these people. Or at least, he did up until two weeks ago. Now, Jason would admit that he was far from the brilliance of Sherlock Holmes, but you’d think he’d at least be able to tell if he was walking the same halls as a murderer, right?

Granted, Jason had never said more than four words to Nico in his entire life, but was that quiet, tired-looking sophomore really the murdering type? Yeah yeah, anyone was capable of murder Jason supposed, Nico included, but capable of murdering his own _sister?_ If there was one thing about Nico that Jason knew, it was that the kid seemed to care more about his sister than any siblings Jason had ever observed, including his relationship with his own sister, Thalia. Could that all have been a front?

When Jason thought about it, Bianca was probably one of the only people he’d ever seen Nico actually speak with. As far as he knew, they were the best of friends. They sat together at lunch, traveled together between classes, and Jason had even seen Bianca stand up for Nico once against some idiot sophomore bully named Cal.

It was a conundrum all right, but not any of Jason’s business. Didn’t he have more to worry about than the inconsistencies in a murder that had nothing to do with him?

Still, while he may not have been obsessed with the dirty details like the rest of Manhattan, his curious mind couldn’t cease thinking about Nico and Bianca.

He didn’t understand what could possibly drive Nico to murder her. Sure, Jason fought with his _own_ sister from time to time, but he would never, not in a million years, do anything to seriously hurt her. And even he and Thalia weren’t as close as Nico had been with Bianca, which only spurred a whole mess of questions.

How could Nico do it?

Why would he do it?

Did he really do it?

Who else could have?

Jason had probably read a few too many murder mystery novels...

The madness hadn’t ceased one bit, in fact, it only got worse as time wore on. The longer Nico stayed missing, the more New Yorkers salivated over the story. Students at Goode High School all had a theory of their own, ranging from Nico joining the mafia, to Nico moving to Africa and becoming a missionary, to alien abduction. As time stretched on and Nico didn’t turn up anywhere, the gossip got wilder and wilder. One senior girl, Silena Beauregard, _swore_ she saw a girl that looked just like Nico and was now convinced that he changed genders to avoid being found. Connor Stoll heard that Nico ran away with the circus. Clarisse La Rue came up with the idea that Nico must be shacking up with some shady older drug lord in the Bronx.

Personally, Jason wasn’t totally sure if Nico was even still alive. Murderer or not, New York was hardly a safe place for a teenage boy to be all on his own. And if Nico was still alive, Jason had a feeling he wasn’t hanging around the city. Probably the boy, if truly alive, was in Mexico by now if not further. It was highly unlikely that Nico walked around town in a dress and high heels, contrary to Silena’s belief.

How long it would take them to find Nico, or Nico’s body, or anything really that could put the case to rest? He didn’t know how many more reporters he could take crowding around outside his school and trying to shove cameras and microphones in his face. For God’s sake, Jason had barely even known the kid!

Not that he was unsympathetic about the whole situation, but it really was getting old after seventeen days. Jason just wanted the whole thing to be over. He chucked the newspaper to the side.

“I won’t be home until late tonight,” Jason’s mother informed him upon entering the kitchen, her personal way of telling him good morning.

 _Surprise surprise,_ Jason thought to himself, letting out a heavy breath. “How late is late?” He was playing the parent, like always.

His mother shrugged. “I’ll be back before you have to go to school,” she assured him, already smelling faintly of cigarette smoke and less faintly of alcohol. The teenager checked his watch—his father’s watch, actually—and let out another breath. Not even seven thirty in the morning and his mom was already buzzed.

“Please don’t bring anyone home with you this time, I don’t like when you bring guys around here,” Jason said, rubbing his temples.

“Whatever you say, _Mom,_ ” she teased, rolling her eyes at her son. Mrs. Grace scooped up a muffin—Jason had made breakfast, again—and then left the kitchen, probably to spend the better part of the day in her room.

No, Jason’s mom did _not_ work a nightshift at the hospital, if that wasn’t clear. In less, of course, “hospital” was code for every bar south of 57th St.

Things hadn’t always been this way with Jason and his mother. Before his father died, their relationship had been great. His family was together, happy even. Everyone was alive. Thalia was still at home. His mother was sober. Sure it hadn’t been _perfect._ Jupiter Grace had unreasonably high expectations and liked to bully his two children when they failed at something, both physically and verbally, but no family is perfect, right? Still, at least they _were_ a family. Then, four years ago, Jason’s father’s private plane had crashed, killing him and everyone on board. Mr. Jupiter Grace had been an incredibly wealthy businessman while he was alive, and left his family behind an enormous sum of money so they could continue to support themselves without changing anything. Except, things did change. Jason’s mom had always been a stay at home mom, but after the plane crash she had evolved into a stay at home drunk instead. Although she was barely at home. A stay at _bar_ drunk, perhaps. She woke up most mornings with a hangover and spent her nights going out, getting even more drunk, and picking up whatever guy she could find. Three years ago, Thalia graduated high school and got accepted into Stanford. She’d tried to take Jason with her, to get him away from their mother, but Mrs. Grace had forbid it. She said she would call the cops if Thalia tried to take her son away. God only knew why, since she hardly seemed to care about him. Nonetheless, Jason stayed behind. He dropped out of extra-curricular activities, no longer caring about football or student council or anything other than getting out of New York. And now, in less than four months, Jason would graduate high school, and then he would finally be able to get away, too. He had sent off his application to Stanford—and every other school at least a thousand miles away from New York—in December and couldn’t wait to receive a letter that would take him far, far away.

 

…

 

Despite the fact that Jason’s father had made sure that both of his children and his wife would have enough money to live the wealthy lifestyle they always had, Jason didn’t buy much of anything with the money his father left behind. With the exception of groceries and a few other necessities, the money went untouched. For anything Jason wanted for himself—clothes, shoes, books, music—he used his own money that he earned working at a small bookstore/café a few blocks from where he lived. Delphi Books was usually quiet, and didn’t have as big of a selection as the major bookstores in Manhattan, but it had been one of Jason’s favorite places for years and his job there was the best part of his day. Chiron, the owner, gave him discounted prices on any books he wanted, and he was given access to as much coffee and hot chocolate from the café as he could drink. Delphi was one of the only places Jason felt truly, blissfully happy.

“Jase, come on! Your shift is _after_ school, not before! We’re gonna be late, man!” Leo Valdez, Jason’s best friend, hollered. He poked his head through the front door of the small store. A bell chimed above his head as he did, making Chiron turn to the short Latino boy. “Leo, you scare away the customers,” he joked, shaking his head.

“What customers?” Leo retorted, stepping completely into the warmth of the store and crossing over to Jason as he pulled a hardcover book straight from a new delivery box.

“Sorry, I’ll just be one second. This one just came out today, I’ve been waiting to get it for months,” he exclaimed, heading over to check himself out. Chiron was technically the one working right now, but Jason didn’t need his help putting money in the cash register.

“You and your books,” Leo sighed.

“Oh shut up,” Jason said, smacking his best friend’s arm with the newly purchased hardcover. Turning, he called back to his boss, “I’ll be here around three-thirty, Chiron!”

“Yeah, see you then,” the bookseller replied, waving goodbye to the boys. Jason shivered as he and Leo ventured out into the early February morning. It had been getting consistently colder over the past week. Jason regretted not wearing a heavier coat. The boys still had a fifteen minute walk ahead of them and the sun was buried behind a thick jacket of clouds. At least it wasn’t snowing.

“I can’t wait to start reading this,” Jason said with a smile, admiring the new book in his hands.

“Do I need to give you and the book a minute?” Leo smirked.

The blond glared at him, “If you knew how to read, maybe you’d realize how fun it can be.”

“Oh, I _know_ how to read. I’ve been reading newspaper articles about Mr. Psycho Murderer all week. A lot more interesting than your little ghost story.”

“It’s not a ghost story, it’s a mystery. And Mr. Psycho Murderer has a name you know. God, I hope they catch _whoever_ did it soon. I’m tired of hearing about it all day.”

“By whoever you mean Nico, right? Jase, come on, everyone knows he did it. And why are you reading a mystery book when we’re all living in one right now? The Disappearing Boy, by Nico di Angelo.” That earned Leo an eye roll from Jason. Even his best friend had Nico fever.

“Honestly, everyone is way too interested in this whole Nico thing. Yeah, it’s crazy what happened, but when are people going to stop talking about it? Have you heard Silena’s theory?”

“Yeah, what a load of crap, right? He obviously escaped into the sewers. If giant alligators can live down there, then so can sociopathic sister killers.”

Jason rolled his eyes and chuckled, “I hope you’re not serious.”

“I hope I’m not serious, too. Then I guess that’d make me just as crazy as di Angelo. Do you know his last name means ‘of the angels’ in Italian? Talk about ironic, huh?”

“Enough about Nico. We aren’t the cops, it’s not our job to decide what’s happened to him.”

“Okay, fine. But if Clarisse turns out to be right about the whole shacking up with a drug lord story, I owe her fifty bucks.”

“What kind of an idiot makes fifty dollar bets about the whereabouts of teenage boys they barely know?”

“This guy!” Leo bragged, pointing at his chest with both thumbs.

“Idiot.”

“Nerd.”

 

…

 

When Jason and Leo arrived at school, everything was just as dramatized as it had been every day for weeks. Shrines to Bianca lined the sidewalk in front of the building, even though most of the people who were “mourning” her didn’t actually know her at all. Attention seekers still talked to reporters like each one of them knew everything there was to know about the di Angelo siblings.

_What was Bianca’s favorite color?_

_Oh, I don’t know, but I’m so sad she’s gone. We were practically sisters!_

Jason rolled his eyes. He only knew of two people in the whole school that had actually been friendly and interacted with the di Angelos. Percy Jackson and Hazel Levesque. They weren’t friends, exactly. Maybe somewhat with Bianca, but not quite with Nico. Still, they had at least talked to him, something that probably 99% of the school couldn’t say. Even before Nico was a murder suspect, he had always been a bit of a creepy kid. Percy and Hazel didn’t seem to mind though. Last year in art, Jason watched Hazel make conversation with Nico and sometimes noticed Percy walk with him to lunch.

And yet, these were also two of the few students who had refused to say a single thing to reporters. They’d been extremely quiet lately, grieving in private. Jason didn’t know much about Hazel or Percy—Hazel was a sophomore and Percy spent most of his time with his girlfriend Annabeth—but he respected them. They didn’t care if they got noticed, they weren’t out seeking attention, or spreading ridiculous rumors about why Nico killed Bianca or where Nico could be now, and they were the exact opposite of most of the other kids at Goode.

“Earth to Jase?” A female voice lulled. Fingers appeared in front of Jason and snapped in his face, yanking him back to the present.

Less than an arm’s length away from him was Jason’s other best friend, Piper McLean. Piper and Jason hadn’t grown up together like Jason and Leo, but they’d been great friends ever since she and her father moved to New York from Los Angeles in seventh grade. Things had taken a slightly awkward turn for them freshman year, when they’d given dating a shot, but since then they’d managed to regain their previous friendship. Piper was a special girl. She didn’t try to impress people, even though she was more than capable of doing so. Piper was also one of the most beautiful girls Jason had ever known, but unlike other beautiful girls, she didn’t let her looks affect the way she acted. She was down to earth, fun, friendly, and loyal. Jason used to wish that he could be attracted to her. That he could really commit to being in a relationship with her. Piper was the perfect girl for Jason, she really was . . . there was just one issue.

Jason wasn’t interested in finding the perfect _girl._ Dating Piper had helped him finally come to terms with his sexuality. Oh, and making out with a gorgeous guy at a party had helped.

“Hey Pipes! What’s up?”

“I could ask you the same question, space cadet. What were you thinking about so intently in there?” She knocked twice on Jason’s head and laughed.

“Knowing Jason, probably that stupid new book he’s holding,” Leo teased, nudging his friend.

“Leo, don’t call his book stupid. There is nothing wrong with reading for fun,” Piper chided.

“Well, there’s not much right with it either,” joked Leo.

“It’s okay, Pipes. Leo here is just jealous because he can barely make it through a picture book without getting confused,” Jason smirked.

“Fuck off,” Leo elbowed him. “If we were building things I could kick your ass any day. I have more useful things to do with my time than read dumbass mystery books.”

“Language, Leo,” Piper said.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” sang the Latino boy, “Sue me.”

“My dad had a great lawyer, maybe I’ll take you up on that, Valdez.”

At the top of the school steps stood a girl in a soft-looking white jacket and dark jeans. Her cinnamon colored hair framed her face with loose curls. When Leo noticed her, a grin spread across his lips. “Sue me later, Pipes. I’m gonna go mess with Calypso.”

“Leave the girl alone, Leo,” Piper said for probably the thousandth time.

“But she’s so fun to mess with. And hot. Hot and fun to mess with is my type.”

“I’m pretty sure loud and obnoxious isn’t hers,” Jason muttered.

“Oh whatever, go find some boy to make out with and leave me alone,” Leo growled, leaving Jason and Piper and heading off toward Calypso, the girl he’d been tirelessly flirting with since the beginning of junior year.

Jason knew his face was red, and not from the cold. Leo had been harassing him about getting a boyfriend ever since Jason came out as gay. He wasn’t ashamed of his sexuality at all, but if his straight best friend kept trying to play wingman, Jason was going to die of humiliation. Despite his persona of confidence and his apparent “golden boy” looks, Jason didn’t exactly have much dating experience, especially not with boys. And he really wished Leo would stop pointing that out. Jason had never the type to go out digging for a relationship, and he didn’t intend to start now.

“You know he just says that to mess with you,” Piper said, nudging him with her shoulder as they passed through the doors and into the warmth of the school.

“Yeah, I know,” Jason replied. “Well, I gotta get to stats, see you in English.”

“See you then.”

…

 

Jason spent his first four classes of the day—AP statistics, study hall, AP English, and mythology—reading under his desk. He already knew most of the crap his teachers were talking about anyway. Jason was of the belief that everything useful that students needed to learn in high school was taught long before the last semester of senior year.

Lunch was another version of the last two weeks’ worth of lunches. Kids going around and gossiping about what appeared to be the only thing they knew how to talk about: Nico. Rachel Dare, a girl in Jason’s seventh period drawing class, stopped by their table to ask Piper about some assignment for music history, all the while relaying a story she’d heard during second period that Katie Gardner, head of the recycling club, wanted to build a memorial garden for Bianca on the roof of the school (because where else can one plant a garden in Manhattan?)

While passing by Jason’s table, Octavian Solace told Drew Tanaka that his lawyer father was sure that once caught, Nico would spend life in prison. Drew replied that he was probably lying dead under a bridge and it was only a matter of time before they found him. Jason, however, was more fascinated with the mystery in his book than the rumors burning through the school, and all of Manhattan, for that matter. Whether Nico really did kill Bianca or not, Jason just wished the matter could be solved and things could go back to a level of semi-normality.

“Have you really read over one hundred pages of that thing?” Leo asked, leaning over Jason’s shoulder. “You just got it this morning.”

Jason shrugged, “It’s technically afternoon now.”

“Not all of us read at a fourth grade level, Leo,” Piper reminded.

Leo narrowed his eyes at her, opened his mouth for a witty comeback, and closed it again. Then, after a moment he said, “Hey, I’m ADHD, I can’t help it if I don’t have the attention span to read long boring books.”

“Except, technically, ADHD kids are usually also geniuses.”

“I am a technical genius, I don’t have time for silly literature,” Leo argued.

Jason decided to tune them out.

…

 

Work was easy that night. Not many people were in the mood to buy books, so Jason just helped Chiron unpack boxes and cleaned off the counters in the café. Annabeth Chase, Chiron’s only other employee (a part timer, just like Jason) sat at the cash register and read a book. Jason may have gotten good grades in school, but he had nothing on Annabeth. She was easily the smartest girl in the grade. In fact, she’d read War and Peace in the third grade for a little “light reading” as she’d called it.

It wasn’t necessary for both of them to work the same shift, as the store was especially empty during the week, but Jason suspected Chiron liked the company.

When Jason finished wiping down the café counters, he headed over to the register to talk to Annabeth. He wanted to read more of his book, but Jason was also curious how her boyfriend, Percy Jackson, was doing.

“Hey, Annabeth. What’s up?”

She lifted her gray eyes from the pages of the novel she was reading to study Jason. “Not much,” she replied, “Just reading.” She tapped her finger against the book’s hardcover.

“What book?” Jason asked, leaning in.

“Oh, the Quran. Learning about other religions fascinates me.”

Jason blinked, trying to take that in. He read to forget about the real world, Annabeth read to get smarter, probably so she could take over the real world one day. He didn’t doubt her ability to do it, either.

“Wow. That’s cool.”

Annabeth smiled, reaching for a loose scrap of paper and folding it into a bookmark. She closed the Quran and set it aside. “You need help with something or…?” She let the question hang there.

“No, not really.”

“Okay,” she picked the book back up and returned to reading.

“Wait,” Jason blurted.

“Yes?” Annabeth raised an eyebrow at him.

“Do you think he did it?”

“What?”

“Nico,” Jason clarified. “Do you think he really killed Bianca?”

He certainly hadn’t _meant_ to ask the question, but it came out nonetheless. Apparently even Jason was a little bothered by the case, whether or not he cared to admit it.

It wasn’t so much that he cared about Nico’s whereabouts, or the drama surrounding his school and the family, there was just something that felt… _wrong_. Like the whole situation was a little off kilter. Perhaps that was simply all of the crime thrillers Jason liked to read talking, he wasn’t sure…

Hadn’t he decided this morning that he didn’t give a crap?

Annabeth stared at Jason for a moment, studying him, and then sighed, closing the book once more. “I—I don’t know. I’d like to think he didn’t. I mean, he seemed like a really sad guy, ya know? Percy always talked about wishing he could help him, although I have no idea how he planned to do it. He doesn’t think Nico did it. But, I don’t know. Percy’s a good judge of character, but he also lacks the ability to look at things from an emotionless standpoint. He’s not objective. So much evidence says that Nico did it, and he’s not even around to defend himself. But Percy—Percy wants to believe that Nico is innocent. As for me, I don’t know. I can’t just ignore the facts like he can. I guess I don’t have the same faith in people that he does. All I know is that Bianca was Nico’s sister, and he really cared about her. Looked up to her. And yet, his fingerprints are on the knife that killed her. That’s hard to ignore.”

Jason nodded. “I understand.”

“Why do you want to know? I thought you were different from all the other over-curious kids in school.”

“I am,” Jason defended. “Well, I hope I am. I just—I don’t know. I wonder about it sometimes. I have an older sister too, and I just wonder how anyone could kill their own sibling. I can’t believe that anyone could. But, I didn’t really know him at all. And I knew that Percy knew him, so I guess I wanted your opinion on it all.”

“My opinion is that everyone at school should stop acting like this is some exciting episode of a crime show. Someone _died._ And then there’s all the ridiculous rumors going around. I don’t really want to talk about it, okay? Let me read.”

Jason, feeling sort of like he’d just been lectured by his mother—if his mother was an actual mother and not a drunk—nodded and left Annabeth to her book.

 

…

 

“Could you close up tonight, Jason?” Chiron asked around eight o’clock. “An old college buddy of mine is in New York until the end of the week and he wants to meet up tonight.”

Annabeth had already left, and Jason’s shift was technically about to end, too, but it wasn’t like Jason was eager to get home. His mother was probably already on her way to the bar. “Sure,” Jason complied, figuring he could probably just work on some homework and read for the next hour without many customers coming through. “I’d be happy to.”

A few minutes later, Chiron left and then Jason was all by himself, which he rather liked. Unlike some of his friends, Jason didn’t constantly feel the need to be around others. It was refreshing to not have to force on a smile because people were watching. He could be himself when he was alone, no facades. No one expecting him to be anything spectacular. Jason could just be Jason, and that was enough.

Jason wanted to build a home out of books and sleep between their pages. He wanted to erase the real world and immerse himself completely in fictional universes where happy endings and true love and magic were reality. Where fantasy was real, and the real world was the fantasy. It was easier to focus on the problems of fictional characters than to think about his dead father, his barely present mother, how much he missed his sister.

Thalia. She was the one who taught Jason to love reading. When Jason was younger, Thalia would read to him, and then pass down books to him that she believed he would like. And he liked all of them. He would devour each new story, laughing and hurting along with the characters. But it wasn’t until she left that he really understood the magic of books. Only when he felt utterly alone did he realize that books could be a crutch, that they could keep him from tripping and falling into oblivion. When things got bad, his mom turned to alcohol. Jason turned to books.

Jason felt that his method was better.

Only two customers came into the store. One older woman who purchased a cookbook and a middle aged man who got a couple historical fiction novels. Other than that, Jason was free to do whatever he pleased. Which, unsurprisingly, led to Jason reading more of his book.

At exactly nine o’clock, he began to close up. “Goodnight books,” he chuckled to himself as he locked the front door. The day had been cold, but the night was even colder. The icy wind tore right through Jason’s jacket. He _really_ should have checked the weather before he left for school that morning. Now, he was facing a ten minute walk until he would be out of the winter chill.

Actually, twenty minutes, Jason amended, realizing that there was most likely nothing to eat at the apartment. He’d have to stop at the store and pick up some food. He should have just grabbed something from the small café at Delphi.

 _Oh well,_ he thought. Jason turned left at the corner, rather than right, and began to make his way toward the nearest grocery store. Some teenagers would be frightened to roam the streets of New York at night, especially all alone, but Jason had been doing it for years. New York was his home, his playground, it didn’t scare him. If he kept his head down, no one bothered him. And if they did, well… Jason had taken martial arts for seven years and played football for eight, only stopping when Thalia left and sports ceased to matter.

It was because of this confidence that Jason felt no hesitance about taking a shortcut to the store through several different back alleys. All he could think about was getting out of the cold faster.

And then he saw the body.

At first, Jason could barely believe his eyes. Surely that curled up thing not fifteen feet in front of him was something else. A sleeping dog, perhaps. A very large dog, without fur.

But then he heard the groan of pain, all too human, and ran towards it. Even in the extreme darkness, Jason could tell that the person had taken a serious beating. The way it was curled into itself, the dark liquid smearing its hands that had to have been blood. Jason crouched down, unsure of whether to touch it or say something or call for help.

The person, definitely a boy, but not an awfully big one, groaned in pain once more. His bloodied hands covering his face.

“Just hold on, I’ll call an ambulance,” Jason said, rising to his feet and digging in his pocket for his cell phone.

“No, no,” the boy muttered. A hand lashed out and fingers wrapped around Jason’s wrist, leaving behind a smear of blood.“No ambulance, I’m fine.” The voice was weak, more of a groan than anything, but still vaguely familiar to Jason.

And then he looked down. A split lip, a bloodied face, an already swelling eye, but even in the darkness of the alley, Jason recognized him. How could he not? His face had been everywhere for over two weeks.

Nico di Angelo.


	2. How To Help People (That Don't Think They Need Any Help)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Chapter 2! Time to meet Nico. I'll see you all next Friday with chapter 3! Also, if you are interested, you can follow me on tumblr at nephilimgirlbooks.

There were seven billion people in the world, over eight million people in New York City, and out of all of those people, the one at Jason’s feet was Nico di Angelo. Nico, from his school. Nico, who no one had seen for two weeks. Nico, who no one could seem to shut up about.

Nico, a potential murderer.

Jason stepped back, nearly tripping over his own feet. What had he gotten himself in to? How could this even be possible? Nico in New York. Nico alive. Jason the one to find him.

This could _not_ be happening.

 Jason could call the cops. He could call the cops now and they could take Nico in for questioning and everything could be settled once and for all.

But then the kid groaned in pain again and curled into himself, clutching his stomach, and Jason froze. Clearly, Nico was in rough shape. He was so preoccupied that he hadn’t even looked up and recognized Jason.

Nico’s weakened state, however, wasn’t the only thing standing in the way of Jason grabbing for his cell phone immediately. How could Jason call the cops when he wasn’t even convinced that Nico was guilty?

Would the cops even look in to the case, or would they just lazily decide that it must have been Nico and throw him in prison forever, a neat little bow tied around the whole case?

Sure, Jason wanted the case to be closed, never to be spoken of again, but what if Nico really hadn’t done it? Could Jason, in good confidence, turn this bloodied, beaten kid in to the cops?

Perhaps it would have been easier to call the cops… if Nico hadn’t looked so frail and helpless. If he wasn’t shivering so hard. If he wasn’t just a teenager.

Jason knew that Nico needed some healing. He had no idea how bad the injuries were, but the blood surely wasn’t a good sign. At least if the cops came, they could take Nico to a hospital.

Heal him only to throw him in a jail cell.

Jason made a snap decision. “Nico, hey, it’s Jason. Jason Grace, from school. I’m going to take you back to my place and get you cleaned up, okay?”

“Grace?” Nico squinted up at him in the darkness, eyebrows drawing together in confusion. His words came out slurred. Jason wondered if the boy was going to pass out. He hoped not. Nico couldn’t have been that heavy, but carrying a sixteen year old boy eight blocks back to his apartment would look a little suspicious.

“Can you walk?” Jason gripped Nico’s arms and hoisted him up, causing Nico to groan once more.

“I’m fine. Get out of here, Jason.” Nico attempted to walk away, but his legs wouldn’t let him. He would have fallen face first into the pavement if not for Jason.

“Come on, I’ll help you.”

“I don’t need your help,” the younger boy growled.

Jason exhaled loudly through his nose.“Oh really? You’d rather wait around in some alley for whoever did this to you to come back?”

“Let go of me,” Nico shoved Jason weakly.

“Jesus, just let me help you,” the blond insisted with growing frustration, leading Nico toward the mouth of the alley. Nico, apparently too weak to protest any longer, followed without another word.

“Take my jacket and keep your head down,” Jason ordered, whipping his jacket off and handing it to Nico. Nico stared blankly at him for a moment, one of his eyes swelling and already promising to bruise. Jason watched him intently until Nico pushed his arms through the jacket sleeves and put the hood up. In another situation, Nico in the jacket may have been comical. He was so much thinner than Jason that he was practically swimming in the fabric. But then Jason thought about how Nico could have gotten so thin, and the situation lost all of its humor. “Come on,” he said, taking Nico by the wrist again and guiding him around the corner.

Jason tried to avoid roads he thought would be the busiest. Considering he was practically dragging Manhattan’s Most Wanted through the Financial District, Jason didn’t exactly want to draw attention. But he also didn’t take as many detours as he could have. The winter air, which had been plenty cold when Jason _had_ his jacket, now cut through the thin fabric of his shirt without resistance. A long-sleeved cotton shirt had nothing on a February night in the city. Jason didn’t allow himself too much self pity though, thinking about Nico out in the cold for who knows how long with only the worn out old aviator jacket that Jason had seen him wear to school before. The one he currently sported underneath Jason’s jacket. He hoped that Nico at least felt warm.

Then Jason wondered why it should matter to him. For all he knew, he was helping a cold blooded murderer.

But, while he may have been a little moody, Jason just couldn’t believe that this boy was full of enough venom to kill his own sister. This sixteen year old, barely able to walk on his own, still groaning in pain and on the edge of consciousness, _this_ boy was the famed Nico di Angelo, New York’s Newest Teenage Psychopath?

Maybe Jason was too much like Percy, not enough like Annabeth. Maybe he wanted to believe the best about people, no matter what the evidence said.

One thing nagged at him. A question that hit him every time his eyes landed on Nico. What had he done to get himself _this_ beat to shit?

Nico would be lucky if he didn’t have any cracked ribs or a broken nose. From what Jason could tell, the dark haired boy had been punched in the face more than once, and if the way he was curled up on the pavement earlier meant anything, he’d probably been kicked multiple times as well. Although, it didn’t seem to Jason that Nico’s opponent had pulled a knife, which Jason was grateful for. He didn’t know how to tend to stab wounds.

Actually, he barely knew how to tend to a scraped knee.

What the hell was he getting himself into?

By the time Jason’s building loomed in front of them, Nico looked about ready to collapse.

“Come on,” Jason encouraged. “A little further. Stay with me.”

“Where the fuck are we going?” Nico muttered, completely spent.

“I told you, I’m taking you to my place to get you cleaned up. My mom won’t be home, don’t worry.”

“I told you I don’t need any help,” the other boy protested, attempting to tear away from Jason.

“Don’t talk, walk.”

Maybe he just should have let him go. _Nico doesn’t want help? Fine. Get lost!_

Except, he couldn’t. Couldn’t do that. Jason knew that if he let Nico walk out now, it would be like feeding him to the wolves. No beaten down boy was being fed to the wolves on Jason’s watch.

Nico huffed and allowed Jason to half-guide-half-drag him toward the apartment building. One thing in Jason’s life hadn’t changed since his father’s death. His family—or what was left of it—still lived in the pricey high-rise in what Jason’s father had liked to refer to as “the soul of the city.”

Ironic, considering most of the Wall Street Slimeballs that lived in the area had no soul to speak of.

Jason found it a little ridiculous that a woman with no job and a teenage boy lived in an apartment that had been too big for four people to begin with, but his mother had screamed at Thalia when she suggested selling it and slapped her across the face. And so they stayed, paying the bills with the millions Mr. Grace had left behind to his family.

Luckily, no people were hanging around the lobby when Jason and Nico walked in. Even the doorman lounged behind the desk, reading a newspaper. He didn’t look up.

_Good thing, too_ , Jason thought. If he did, he’d probably realize that the kid whose face was on the front page stood not ten feet away from him.

Jason quickly shoved Nico into the elevator and pushed down on the button for the twentieth floor.

As the elevator doors shut, Nico leaned on the wall for support, visibly exhausted. In the fluorescent elevator lights, he looked even worse than Jason had first thought. And once the bruises really started to show tomorrow, he’d doubtless look a lot worse. Slowly, Nico slid to the floor.

            “What happened to you?” Jason asked, dropping to a crouch and examining the other boy’s face. He’d never been this close to Nico before tonight. If it weren’t so bloody and swollen, Jason decided he would have an interesting face to look at. Angular. Deep set eyes with incredibly long lashes. Black hair sweeping across his forehead. Perhaps a little unwelcoming, but fascinating nonetheless. Nico had those dark kind of eyes that could feel either warm or frigid, something that Jason had never been able to say about his own blue eyes. No one ever called blue eyes warm. Startling maybe, or deep, but not welcoming, not comforting. Blue was a cold color.

“What the fuck does it look like?” Nico mumbled, rubbing his jaw.

Apparently, Nico wasn’t a fan of questions… or making conversation in general.

The elevator dinged as it reached Jason’s floor. He offered a hand to help Nico to his feet, but the injured boy glared at him so maliciously that Jason stepped back and let Nico do it himself, even though it was clear that he could have used the help.

Scratch that thing about brown eyes showing any warmth. Nico was more like a small vicious animal. Like those stray dogs in the videos who try and bite anyone who gets close to them. Jason noticed that those were always the animals who’d been hurt the most. The ones who needed the most help. Maybe that was why he’d decided not to call the cops. At least not yet.

Honestly, Jason wasn’t sure _what_ to do.

“Uh, follow me,” he said, his voice raising at the end almost like he’d asked Nico a question.

“Do I have a choice?” Nico mumbled.

“Well, I guess you could go lay in an alley and freeze to death. Or maybe you’d get really lucky and someone else could find you before you freeze.”

The dark haired boy scowled, and then cringed. Someone had definitely done a number on him. Jason motioned for Nico to follow him out of the elevator and down the hall. About fifteen steps away from Jason’s front door, Nico crumpled to his knees. Jason halted and turned to check on him. Then, without giving it a second thought, the blond bent down and wrapped an arm around Nico. He pulled the other boy up, using his arm for support as Nico slumped against his side. “Come on, let’s not pass out just yet,” Jason said softly, nearly carrying Nico the rest of the way. He propped Nico against the wall to free his arms and then dug around for his keys. Once the door was unlocked, Jason led Nico inside. The second they were both inside he shut the door and re-locked it.

“Okay,” he said, suddenly feeling completely overwhelmed.

_Now what?_

A washcloth for the blood, maybe. And ice, definitely ice for all the swelling. And… blankets? He was probably still half frozen. Jason cranked up the heat on the thermostat. That was a start at least, right? Then he dragged a barely conscious Nico to his bedroom and laid him down on the bed. 

“I’ll be right back,” Jason promised, leaving the potential murderer in his room. In the kitchen Jason filled a plastic bag with ice cubes and ran a wash cloth under the sink for a few seconds. Not exactly hospital quality, but Jason had done all that he could.

By the time he made it back to the bedroom, Nico was fast asleep.

_Well, this is awkward._

Jason crossed over to the sleeping boy, sitting at the edge of the bed and dabbing at Nico’s face with the washcloth, trying to clear away the dried blood on his face and hands. Once his skin was clean, Jason decided to try to ice his eye. He lowered the bag to the swelling skin around Nico’s eye. As the ice made contact with Nico’s skin, the younger boy let out a little gasping sound, but didn’t wake. He was probably completely exhausted.

With nothing else to do, Jason decided the best thing was to just let Nico rest for the time being. Wasn’t a good sleep supposed to cure all the world’s problems or something?

Hell, with all that had happened in the last hour, Jason would probably have to sleep for a month straight. And that was nothing compared to what he could only assume Nico had gone through over two weeks. Jason’s problems were nothing compared to _that._

He couldn’t even imagine what Nico had been up to the last seventeen days. The physical, emotional, and psychological suffering would surely have been too much for Jason.

Once Nico woke up, though, they _really_ needed to have a chat about the events leading up to Nico’s time in the streets—if that’s where he’d actually been this whole time. As Jason turned off the bedroom light and shut the door, a voice in his head screamed _“Potential murderer in your room! Sister killer in your bed!”_

Jason ignored it.

Back in the kitchen, the clock on the microwave showed it was close to ten-thirty. Walking home at a Nico pace had taken longer than expected. And he’d never even made it to the grocery store. Jason groaned.

_No dinner tonight._

Well, dinnertime had long past, anyway. He fished around in the pantry and found some cereal, which he ate dry—straight from the box—while sprawled out on the couch. He wasn’t usually like this. Jason ate at the table, he had good posture, he was a confident speaker. Tonight was not a good night for Jason.

He had some homework to finish, but how could anyone possibly think about Theseus and the Minotaur when a potential killer was asleep in his bed?

_If I really thought he killed her, I wouldn’t have brought him here,_ Jason reminded himself.

Reading his book was out of the question. Jason couldn’t focus on reading with everything going on. Hell, it was a miracle he was focused enough to still be breathing.

He couldn’t even go to sleep. His bed was being used.

Of course, sleeping on the couch was an option, but Jason didn’t want his mother to be suspicious when she got home. She may have been drunk most of the time, but she wasn’t completely oblivious.

Although, for once, Jason wished she was. How else could he get away with letting a wanted murder suspect snooze in his bed? Seeing no other option, Jason went back into his bedroom and pulled out a spare comforter from the closet. He’d sleep on the floor. Yes, that would work. Then, when Nico woke up, Jason would know. He was a pretty light sleeper—and no one could sleep soundly on the floor anyway. Jason changed into a pair of sleeping pants and a soft t-shirt before lowering himself to the floor and trying to get comfortable. A lamp on the nightstand was still on, but Jason decided to just leave it. If Nico woke up, at least he’d be able to see. Jason’s floor wasn't the softest place in the world, and his mind was far from tired, but eventually, he was able to slip into oblivion. 

 

…

 

Nico woke up sweltering hot. His eyes shot open—well one of them did, the other one only opened about halfway thanks to the swelling—and were greeted by semi-darkness. A small lamp provided a dim glow that outlined the room. Large windows on the wall opposite of him revealed black sky, dotted with the lights of several buildings in the distance.  Morning had not yet arrived, but Nico could sense its approach.

His hair was matted to his forehead with sweat, and it only took Nico a second to realize why. He was under blankets, wearing two jackets, and the room was sweltering. Nico could barely remember what being so warm felt like.

He shed both of the jackets quickly. As they fell to the floor, Nico remembered where the second one had come from and suddenly realized where he was.

There, asleep on the floor, was Jason Grace. Jason Grace who had basically carried him to his apartment and put him to bed.

Nico cringed, and the effort made his face scream. Those bastards in the alley had really hit him good. Nico was lucky to not have a broken nose.

He laughed out loud.

Nico. Lucky. Lucky. Nico.

The words didn’t belong in the same sentence. Ever. Under no circumstances was Nico lucky.

Lucky to be alive? Yeah right.

            He’d rather have died a long time ago.

Lucky that it wasn’t the cops who found him? Debatable. 

At least Nico _knew_ what to expect from _them._

Jason was… puzzling.

Why had Jason Grace helped him? Why had he not called the cops? Nico knew what people thought he did, yet Jason hadn’t once asked Nico the million dollar question.

Did he _really_ do it?

He studied Jason carefully in the dim light. In all honesty, Nico hadn’t thought about Jason Grace much before. He was just another one of those kids at school who appeared to have a lot of friends, was liked by all his teachers, and never caused trouble. Basically, the exact opposite of Nico.

Jason was tall, strong, handsome. His eyes were a vivid blue eyes and he had this friendly smile that kind of made Nico want to punch him. Who did Mr. Golden Boy think he was? Scooping Nico up like he was some kind of superhero rescuing an injured kitten. Nico was not a kitten. He didn’t need people trying to be helpful.

When people tried to help him, they ended up getting hurt. Or worse.

Nico rubbed his forehead, trying to massage the problem away, and noticed something. The blood was gone. Jason had cleaned the blood off of Nico’s hands and face.

Was he fucking serious?

And now he was just sleeping on the floor, not appearing to care that he’d given up his bed. For all Jason knew, Nico was a heartless killer, and yet he didn’t seem to find any problem with falling asleep in the same room as him. He slept peacefully, his chest rising and falling at a steady, slow pace. Jason looked younger, less serious, when he slept. More like a teenager. Somehow, that made Nico feel even more uncomfortable.

What the hell was he going to do now?

Jason stirred and then those bright blue eyes were looking right at him.

 

…

 

Jason woke abruptly from a nightmare to find Nico di Angelo sitting on his bed and staring down at him. “Hey,” Jason said immediately, and then just as quickly felt like kicking himself.

Nico’s eyes widened, and he scooted back like Jason had frightened him. Like _Nico_ had reason to be frightened. Like _Jason_ was the threat in the room.

And it was then that Jason knew with absolute certainty that no matter what had happened the night Bianca died, Nico didn’t do it. The scared teenage boy cowering on his bed wasn’t capable of murder.  

“Why am I here?” Nico mumbled, tearing his eyes away from Jason. How long had the dark haired boy been watching him sleep? The thought almost made Jason blush.

“Well, you look like someone beat the crap out of you. And I found you lying in an alley. What should I have done?”

“Called the cops. I’m a wanted criminal, am I not?” Nico raised an eyebrow at the blond.

“You didn’t kill anyone.”

“Oh really? And how do you know that? You know nothing about me.”

“Well, you didn’t kill me, for one,” Jason observed, “You had a clear chance to do it and you let it pass by.”

“I still could, I’d maybe even get away with it.”

“Nico, I know you didn’t murder Bianca. Now lay down and get some rest. It’s like five in the morning.”

“What is your problem?” Nico practically shouted, rising suddenly to his feet. “You aren’t supposed to behave this way!”

Jason sighed and stood as well. Nico, who was almost a head shorter than him, stepped back slightly and nearly fell back onto the bed. “Nico, did you kill Bianca?”

Nico paused, chewed his lip before realizing it was swollen and split from earlier, and sat on the edge of the bed. What felt like eons later, he answered.

“No. I didn’t,” he whispered, seeming so close but also a million miles away.

“Okay, now that that’s settled—”

“How can you possibly believe me?” Nico demanded, glaring up at Jason through the tangled dark strands of hair brushing his eyelids. “Every murderer says they’re innocent.”

“But I thought we just established that you’re not a murderer.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you just believe whatever the fuck people tell you?” Nico was exceptionally gifted at channeling every single emotion he had into anger. And swearing.

“I just know when people are telling the truth, Nico. I have an older sister, too, you know.”

“So?”

“So I know what it’s like, and I know that when you have someone like that in your life, you would never do anything to hurt them.”

Nico started laughing, a bitter, loud sound that nearly had Nico doubling over. “Oh, you know what it’s like? You know what it’s fucking like? That’s rich. Rich coming from a stupid perfect rich boy with his perfect nuclear family. You have no idea what it’s like! Shut up!” The laughter had evolved into shouting, and for the first time in probably forever, Jason found himself hoping his mother hadn’t returned home yet.

“Hey, I am _not_ perfect. Nothing about my life is perfect.”

“What, sometimes you get a B on a test?”

“My dad’s dead and my mom’s an alcoholic who disowned my sister when she moved away and I haven’t seen her but twice since then,” Jason blurted out. Nico hardly deserved to know the intimate details of his life, but Jason hated being accused of living the life of some all-American ideal teenage boy just because his family had money. It was bullshit.

“I _wish_ my dad was dead,” Nico muttered after a minute. Jason plopped down beside him on the bed, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. He had plenty of experience with abusive parents. The look in Nico’s eyes was painfully familiar.

“Is he the one who did this to you?” Jason nodded at Nico’s face. It looked even worse now. By dinnertime the pale boy would probably be painted black and blue.

Nico’s lips twitched with a bitter half smile, but no emotion reached his eyes, “No.”

“Are you going to tell me what happened now?”

“Why is it any of your business?” Nico sneered.

“It’s not,” the blond admitted, “but you could tell me anyway.”

“Some thug thought it would be a good idea to rob me. He was a little frustrated to find out I had no money.”

“So he beat you up?”

“His friend helped, pretty unpleasant,” Nico offered without emotion.

“Shit.”

“I’ve had worse,” he shrugged, “Well, nice chat but I really should be going.”

Jason wasn’t sure which part of the other boy’s sentence concerned him more.

“You have anywhere to go?” He inquired.

“Well, the bums in Central Park are a great bunch once you get to know them.”

“Nico,” Jason chided, “I’m serious.”

“Yeah, I get that. You seem to be serious about a lot of things. Well I _seriously_ don’t need you to play hero and try and nurse me to health or whatever the hell you think you’re doing so—”  Nico stood and started for the door.

“Will you stop being so damn stubborn?” Jason growled, following after him.

“I’m not a little broken toy you can stick back together with glue and a some willpower. Leave me alone.”

“I never said you were, I’m just trying to help.”

“You think I’m a freak just like everyone else,” Nico accused. “This freak doesn’t need your charity, thank you very much.”

Jason let out a frustrated growl. _This_ waswhy Jason preferred reading over people, at least books made sense.

“Yeah, you _are_ a freak. I’m trying to be nice to you and you’re yelling at me as if I was trying to steal your kidney while you slept.”

“Here’s an idea, stop trying to be nice to me.”

Well, since he insisted…

“If you say so,” Jason sighed, yanking the smaller boy off of his feet and basically dragging him down the hall, much as he had earlier. His mom’s keys weren’t on the hook, so she wasn’t home yet. _Typical._

“What the hell?”

“I’m done being nice. We’re going to the kitchen and I’m going to get you some fucking ice. Then take it, put it on your face, and say thank you. Got it?”

“Let go of me!” Nico protested. “What’s your problem?”

“No, what’s _your_ problem, Nico? Here I am trying to help you, not because I have to, but because I want to. Would you really rather be out in the street, where it’s _freezing_ I might add, just hanging around and waiting for one of the millions of people in New York who know your face to call the cops on you? Believe me, not everyone is as open minded as I am!”

“You shouldn’t want to help me. Trust me,” the smaller boy broke away from Jason, but didn’t make a break for the door. He just stared out the windows, his eyes seeming to see further than the glow of the other Financial District high-rises. Somewhere worlds away. “I can handle things just fine on my own.”

“Look, I understand that what happened to your sister was horrible, and probably traumatizing. I don’t know what happened, but I can see how it’s affecting you. You’re hurting, you’re scared, but you don’t have to be alone.”

“Stop,” he said, shutting his eyes tightly. “Stop acting like my friend. Stop acting like you know me.”

“Stop acting like you can take care of yourself. You’re sixteen and you have nowhere to go. I’m seventeen, I have a job, I have a roof over my head, and _I_ can barely take care of myself. Everyone needs someone to be there for them, Nico.”

“You’re not that someone. Thanks for not calling the cops, and being crazy enough to believe that I’m innocent, but now just leave me alone. You don’t have to be involved in this.”

How stubborn could Nico possibly be? Why couldn’t he grasp that Jason understood that he didn’t _have_ to help him, but that he w _anted_ to? Why couldn’t Nico just accept the fact that one person in the world had decided to reach out to him? Jason had given Nico his jacket freely, he’d taken Nico into his home, let him sleep in his bed, and Nico hadn’t asked for any of it, Jason had just done it because it was the right thing. Because he couldn’t look at that fragile sixteen year old body and see someone capable of murder, only a great, deep sadness.

“You’re impossible!” Jason let out a frustrated yell and stormed over to the fridge. He yanked another plastic baggie loose and filled it with ice. When Jason turned around, Nico had moved. He stood only a few feet away from Jason, his eyes on the bag.

“Are you going to take the ice or tell some bullshit lie about how you don’t need it?”

“Hand me the damn bag,” Nico sighed. Jason shoved it at him and stomped over to the table, pulling out a chair and sitting down on it with great force. He felt like punching through the glass tabletop.

Jason had always sensed that Nico was different, a little dark, a sad guy.

He’d never guessed that Nico di Angelo could also be so damn infuriating.

“Thanks,” Nico mumbled, and once again Jason was surprised to find that the other boy had snuck up on him. Jason jumped slightly. Then, embarrassed, he tried to play it off like he had planned to suddenly shoot up off of his seat.

Nico smirked, if only a little. “Sorry, I don’t make a lot of noise.” He seemed to find mild amusement in Jason’s sudden startle.

The older boy ignored the comment. “You hungry? I mean, I really need to get groceries, but I can probably find something for you.”

“Are you going to harass me until I say yes?” Nico questioned.

“Mmhm,” Jason nodded, already on his way to the fridge. He spent a minute there and then checked the cabinets and pantry.

“We have cereal with no milk, semi-stale bread, Pringles, pretzel rods, frozen Eggo waffles,  and this one apple looks like it’s not brown yet.”

A few minutes later, Nico was seated on a barstool at the counter eating a waffle and the apple while Jason tried not to stare. He could practically see the newspaper headlines if anyone found out about this.

**Teenage Murder Suspect Eats Eggo Waffles in Poorly Stocked Kitchen**

“What are you smiling at?” Nico glowered at him.

“Nothing, nothing,” Jason tried to look impassive.

The dark haired boy rolled his eyes and went back to eating. Behind him, through the huge windows, black sky was lightening to indigo.

“The sun will be up soon,” Jason commented.

“So?” Nico said, turning to check through the windows.

“I’m just thinking we should probably get you back into my room before my mom gets home. She, uh, she’d probably be a little suspicious.”

“Hey, I didn’t agree to play patient. I took your ice and your food. Once I finish eating, I’m out of here.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Jason protested.

“You’re the stupid one. I don’t think the cops would be very understanding if they found out you were harboring a criminal.”

“You’re not a criminal.”

“How about you explain that to the cops? And the whole east coast, for that matter.”

“You’re not very good at accepting help, are you?”

“You’re not very good at taking no for an answer, are you?” Nico retorted.

“At least stay here while I’m at school. Your body needs to rest and heal. And then maybe when I get home I can wash your clothes and give you some food. Then we can go from there.”

“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”

Jason nodded.

“Well, I don’t have a clue why you care.”

“It’s the human thing to do,” Jason answered. It wasn’t a lie, well, not completely. Jason would like to think that any truly open minded and accepting human being would do the same thing. Of course, he didn’t mention that he was also brutally curious about the boy that was Nico di Angelo and how he got to be this way. What made him tick?

It was a mystery Jason was dying to solve.

“Well, it’s not the New York thing to do. Maybe you’re actually a psychopath trying to lure me into your room so you can like, torture me or something.”

Jason grinned, “You caught me, I was actually hoping to peel off your skin and wear your face to school.”

“That’ll make you popular,” Nico mused.

“You done?” Jason asked, changing the subject and nodding at the mostly empty plate in front of Nico. According to the clock above the stove, it was nearly six in the morning. In just an hour, Jason would have to wake up and get ready for school. The idea was ridiculous after all that had happened in the last twelve hours.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Great. I’m going to go to back to sleep now. Come on.”

Nico followed Jason back down the hall without much protest, but did speak up when Jason laid back down on the floor.

“Sleep in your own damn bed. Seriously.”

Jason shook his head. “No. You take it. Before I found you, you were lying on the cold damp street.”

“Well now, because of your annoying persistence, I am in your warm dry home. That’s enough favors from you.” Nico went and sat in the corner, and Jason knew that it was hopeless. It was a big enough deal that Nico had even agreed to stay here for the day, Jason wasn’t going to push him.

“Whatever.” Jason fell onto his bed and buried himself in the blankets. “You should try to sleep some more, too. You weren’t out for that long.”

Nico gave Jason a pointed look to say _stop acting like my parent_ but made his way to the makeshift bed nonetheless.

Sleep reclaimed Jason almost instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support! Love my readers!


	3. Playing The Patient (When You're Actually Fine, FYI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter was a real bitch to edit. Back when I first wrote it, I still wasn't totally sure where this story was going, so returning to it I realized how many things needed to be adjusted to match the plot. That being said, I'm pretty satisfied with how this one turned out, and I hope you are too!

Nico couldn’t fall back asleep, and it had nothing to do with the hardness of the floor. Each of his thoughts was amplified by a thousand microphones and they wouldn’t go away.

Here was some guy Nico barely knew, literally someone he’d almost never thought of before a few hours ago, just volunteering to do all of these favors for him because it was the “human” thing to do.

 _The fucking_ human _thing to do._

Since when did any person in the whole world actually act like a decent human being? People who were kind for no reason at all? Yeah, right. The best person Nico had ever known was Bianca and, well…

Things hadn’t ended well for her.

Nico shook his head, scattering thoughts of the sister he no longer had back to the darkest corners of his mind. If he just didn’t think about it, if he didn’t think about _her_ , then he would be okay. Or, okay _enough._ He could live in a bullshit illusion of being all right if he just didn’t allow himself to think about Bianca.

Desperate for a distraction, Nico stood and began to pace around the room—Jason’s room. Nico didn’t know an awful lot about Jason, which he was quickly realizing. He’d always just assumed Jason Grace was another clone at school—boring, mindless, typically rich. Now… Nico didn’t know exactly _what_ Jason was. First of all, he had a room _way_ to clean to belong to a teenage boy. No clothes on the floor, a navy comforter on a queen bed devoid of any visible stains, charcoal walls clean of pictures or posters or useless trinkets. Did a seventeen or eighteen year old boy actually sleep in this room? Nico may not have believe it, if not for the state of Jason’s desk, the one disorderly thing in the entire room. Loose sheets of paper, a textbook, and a few old trophies had found their way onto the desk, scattered and stacked haphazardly in a way that probably made sense to Jason and no one else. In the middle of the desk, a sleek silver laptop sat, open but turned off. And around the desk, climbing halfway up the wall and down both sides of the desk was one giant bookshelf. Now _that_ surprised Nico more than anything. A rainbow of colors and titles and authors all stacked together in the craziest, most nonsensical arrangement Nico had ever seen. Just another thing that probably Jason and Jason alone understood. Nico drew a book from the top of one of the shelves, leafing through the pages in the muted light. He closed the book, examining its cover. Stephen King.

 _Nice,_ Nico nodded, impressed with Jason’s taste. There was a time when he himself had read frequently. Nico had especially loved horror and thriller novels back in the day. Then his life became a horror story of its own, and Nico stopped reading them. He stopped reading any kinds of books. Nico had bigger concerns than reading, like _not_ getting his ass kicked by his father.

Jason mumbled something unintelligible in his sleep, momentarily startling Nico. He turned and spared a glance at the dreaming boy. The blond boy slept soundly on his side, an arm stretched across the pillow and reaching all the way to the edge of the bed. Christ, had Jason Grace always been so stupidly attractive, or did Nico just have a concussion? He found it difficult to tear his eyes away. How was this guy smart, nice, and as handsome as he was? That couldn’t possibly be right. Nico, after all, was not exceptional in anything.

Pretty boys like Jason didn’t bother with kindness. Nico knew that from experience. He’d known enough throughout his life and he was damn tired of them. But Jason was so ridiculously different from every preconceived notion Nico had formed in his mind. He helped almost complete strangers—potentially dangerous ones—and he read books and went grocery shopping and was thoughtful and nice even when the other person didn’t deserve it.

Nico wasn’t sure whether to be sick or amazed, or perhaps sickly amazed.

What the hell was he supposed to do in this situation? He couldn’t just stay at Jason’s and play stowaway. It was far too much to ask and would only bring trouble to a nice guy who didn’t deserve it. To stay would be to hold a gun up to Jason’s head and then pull the trigger. He’d told the blue eyed boy too much already. He wasn’t going to endanger Jason further. It would be best to just sneak out once Jason left for school and pretend the last eight hours never happened. Less messy that way.

Where he would go, however, that was another issue altogether. It would be daylight soon, hardly the time for Nico to be showing his face around the streets of New York. Nico wasn’t exactly sure where Jason lived, but he guessed he’d have to do a whole lot of walking to return to the alley he’d been ducking out in for the past four or so days (not the one where he got his ass kicked, another one). Soon Tyson, the homeless kid who’d shared his blankets with Nico for the better part of the week and had been his only companion since the incident, would be worrying about him. Of course, the alley had been far from ideal. Living outside in New York in the winter wasn’t exactly the best of circumstances.

Nico had _no_ idea what to do.

There was one thing that Nico was sure of though. He would _not_ be falling back asleep any time in the next few hours. Not a chance.

 

…

 

What felt like mere minutes, but was actually more like an hour and a half after Jason had been carried back into the realm of dreams, his alarm clock wrenched him back to reality. Jason groaned as the bells on his phone chimed, refusing to shut up until he finally found the energy to lift his arm and blindly disable it.

Slowly, he forced his eyes open to greet the day. Dreary morning light filtered through the crack between Jason’s curtains, alerting him of another cold and miserable day.

“I think it’s snowing,” a quiet voice said, causing Jason to jolt up. The blond had nearly forgotten about the other presence in the room. Nico di Angelo sat on the floor beside Jason’s bed, the blanket that Jason had slept with the first portion of the night partially covering his legs, and on his lap, a book. One of Jason’s.

“ _Lord of the Flies?_ ” Jason prompted, nodding at the novel. Nico glanced down at it, then back up at Jason.

“Oh, yeah. I, uh, read it a few years ago.”

“You read much?”

“Not anymore,” Nico answered vaguely, placing the book on the floor. Morning light did no favors for the younger boy’s face. Dark purple bruising had fully formed under one of Nico’s eyes and his split lower lip was also bruised and swollen. His arms were painted the same shade of bluish purple, greatly contrasting Nico’s pallid skin. Jason had no doubt that if he lifted up Nico’s shirt, there would be plenty there as well. Jason’s stomach twisted painfully. He may not have known Nico well, but seeing him in such rough shape was extremely difficult.

Jason averted his eyes. “Hey, so I need to get ready for school and stuff, but before I go I’ll bring you some food and ice. Mom’s probably asleep but don’t leave the room, just in case. Feel free to use the computer, the bed, my books, whatever.”

“Jason—” Nico began to protest.

“Nico di Angelo, I swear, if you try and argue me on this one more time I’m going to shove you through the windows.”

The younger boy smirked, “Maybe you’ll make the front page.”

Jason had to appreciate Nico’s morbid sense of humor, especially in light of everything he’d gone through.“We should just take a picture together, save the photographers a little time.”

Nico rolled his eyes.

“Just, tell me that you’ll at least stay until tomorrow. You’re still pretty banged up.”

“At least? Damn, Grace, how long do you plan on keeping me here?”

Jason paused. The question shouldn’t have surprised him, but Jason couldn’t seem to find an answer to it. How long _was_ he planning on hiding Nico? Until he was healthy? Until the murder case was solved an Nico was in the clear? Jason honestly hadn’t thought about it. How long could he even pull this off? “Well, we’ll see I guess… if you stop being so damn self-sacrificing and agree to stay and let someone help you for once—”

“Just get ready for school.”

Jason flashed a small grin and disappeared into the bathroom.

 

…

 

If he said he had no qualms about leaving Nico in his room when he left for school, Jason would be a complete and total liar. Part of him was pretty sure that the mysterious boy would be gone by the time Jason returned from school, and the other part of him was completely certain. Sure, Nico had _said_ that he’d at least spend the day healing in Jason’s room, but Jason didn’t know the younger boy well enough yet to tell whether he meant it or not. Apparently, accepting help from others wasn’t in Nico’s nature. He couldn’t believe for a minute that Jason chose to help him for the sole purpose of helping. And sure, maybe there _was_ more to it. Maybe Jason wanted to keep Nico around because he found him fascinating. Like fire and darkness burning together, a vivid energy that was both blindingly bright and hopelessly dark. Jason couldn’t find words to properly explain Nico di Angelo, he doubted anyone could. But there was something about him that was just quite… endearing.

No. That wasn’t an appropriate word. “Endearing” implied attraction and Jason wasn’t going to be _that_ dumb. He wasn’t going to think of Nico as a boy he could be attracted to. That would make things impossibly complicated. So what if Nico was feisty and interesting and darkly humorous and attractive in an unconventional but fascinating way that demanded attention. Jason would give none of that any notice at all. None.

Besides, Jason had never heard anything about Nico being gay, so why bother considering whether he should described as striking or handsome? Why bother thinking about Nico in Jason’s room, touching his books, which Jason saw as an extension of his soul? Why bother?

“Guess who?” A female voice sang just as two arms wrapped around Jason’s back and a pair of tan, delicate hands blotted out his sight.

“Hmm? Octavian?” Jason teased.

Piper shoved him. “Is that your way of saying I have man hands?”

“It’s his way of saying you smell like a douche bag,” Leo corrected, jabbing Piper with his index finger.

Jason and Leo had just arrived at school, having trudged through the cold again, whereas Piper arrived by car. Her father, a popular film actor, had banned her from walking to school with her friends after the paparazzi began to harass her.

“Why am I friends with you two?” Piper laughed. Maybe, on another day, Jason would have found something to reply that would cause her to laugh again, but today his thoughts were distant. He couldn’t get Nico out of his head.

“So, where’s your new friend?” Leo asked Jason as the trio moved into the hallway. Jason froze, his feet locking in place.

“What new friend?” He asked, trying to sound casual. Did Leo know something?

“Your stupid book. Yesterday you were practically making out with the thing and today you aren’t even holding it. Don’t tell me you finished it already.”

Jason laughed to mask his surprise. Had he really been so distracted by the Nico conundrum that he’d forgotten his book at home? Where was his head today?

_Focus Jason, focus. Stop stressing over Nico._

_Over Nico di Angelo who everyone thinks is a murderer._

_Nico di Angelo who is actually innocent._

_Nico di Angelo who’s father apparently beat the crap out of him._

_Nico di Angelo who knew what losing everything really felt like._

“So, are you in?” Leo inquired, snapping his fingers in front of Jason’s face. “You weren’t even listening, were you?”

“No, no, I was,” Jason lied. “You were um, talking about welding and machines. Yeah.”

“I was talking about Beckendorf’s party. We’re going Saturday, right?”

“Saturday as in this Saturday? Three nights from now?”

“Yeah, dude, where have you been? Of course this Saturday. Beckendorf is turning eighteen and I have to support my main man.”

“You mean you have to flirt with Calypso,” Piper amended.

“She wants me,” Leo shrugged, “Can you blame the lady? I’m irresistible.”

Piper rolled her eyes. “I’ve got to head to first period, you two dorks try not to burn down the school.” She waved and bounced off in the other direction.

“I was thinking we could even get a cab. Real classy,” Leo decided, holding out his arms in a frame shape as if he could already picture himself stepping out of a taxi and sweeping Calypso off her feet.

“I don’t think I’m going,” Jason said, hoping that if he didn’t act like it wasn’t a big deal, Leo wouldn’t either. But, of course, Leo had always been one for dramatics.

“What the hell do you mean? Jason do _not_ tell me you’re working Saturday night _again._ Delphi gets like, negative five customers a day.”

“I don’t have work that night.”

“Oh no, you’re ditching me for a book, aren’t you?” Leo brought the back of his hand to his forehead like a true drama queen.

“I’m not ditching you for a book, either.” Jason thought of Nico. “And I didn’t for sure say that I’m _not_ going. So calm yourself.”

A sly smile crept onto Leo’s lips. “You have a date, don’t you?”

Jason reddened. Probably not the best idea, since it only seemed to affirm Leo’s suspicion, however untrue.

“Shit, you totally do! You have a date!” Leo was practically yelling. A freshman girl passing by gave them a sideways glance.

“Leo, I do not have a date. Mind your own business and stop shouting before you make a scene.”

“What’s his name? What’s his name? Do I know him? Who asked out who?”

Jason let out an exasperated breath, “Did you not hear me, Valdez? I don’t have a date with anyone. Sorry to disappoint you.” Unless, of course, taking care of injured sixteen year old murder suspects qualified as a date nowadays.

Leo pouted for a moment. “I should have known. You’re way too much of a stick in the mud to _actually_ date people.”

“Wow, thanks.” Jason came to a stop in front of his first period stats class. “We’ll talk at lunch.”

“If you’re lucky!” Leo teased.

 

…

 

Jason never should have taken study hall.

Sure, it was a great opportunity to read, but Jason had found himself devastatingly bookless. He _did_ use some of the period to finish the homework that had gone undone the previous night, but it was hard to focus when the one name he struggled not to think about was the same name on everyone’s lips.

“Well, you know, Nico was in my gym class last semester,” Nancy Bobofit gossiped, “He always gave me a bad feeling. Like, my mind kept telling me there was something not right about that boy, and then he goes and brutally murders his sister with an axe and—”

“The murder weapon was a knife,” Jason spat out before he could stop himself. “Stop spreading stories.”

Nancy and her circle of mindless idiots turned to stare at him in mild shock. Jason was hardly the type to confront others. In fact, to most of this class, Jason was some mute kid who read a lot.

Nancy Bobofit narrowed her eyes at Jason. “Regardless. He’s a psycho anyway. Probably chopped her up into little pieces and spread her out across the city. I read about a Satanist serial killer who did that once.”

So now Nico was a Satanist serial killer . . . Oh, how rumors spread. Jason wondered how the school would react if they found out the big scary murderer they all loved to gossip about was actually just an innocent kid with shitty luck who was currently hiding out in Jason’s room (or at least, that’s where he _hoped_ Nico was).

“First of all, the body was cremated. Second of all, you don’t even know if he did it.” Jason _really_ ought to stop talking.

Nancy laughed, “Who else could have? The doorman? The tooth fairy? You don’t really think Nico di Angelo is innocent, do you?”

Jason didn’t think. He knew. Whoever murdered Bianca, his name was not Nico di Angelo. Of that much, he was certain. But how could he explain that to the dumbass gossips at school? How could he explain that to all of New York? The country?

He couldn’t.

So, hating himself as he did, Jason lied. “Oh, he probably did do it, but that doesn’t make him an evil devil worshipper.”

“Because you would know,” Nancy rolled her eyes. “You really ought to just mind your own business, Jason.”

Jason snorted. “Ladies first,” he mumbled.

“What was that?”

“Oh, nothing,” he said, turning his back on Nancy and the conversation.

 

…

 

“So, word on the street is you and Nancy got into a fight during study hall,” Piper whispered to Jason while their English teacher, Mr. Blowfis, wrote the reading assignment on the board.

Jason’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “How is that word on the street, Pipes? Study Hall was last period.”

“Yeah, well the girls at this school just love to talk. I’m guessing you _didn’t_ call her a dumb fucking bitch, huh?”

“People are saying that?”

Piper nodded.

Jason just shook his head.

 

…

Fourth period was mythology, and also Jason’s only class with a certain Percy Jackson. Jason and Percy weren’t exactly friends, but Jason liked to think they could be, if either of them actually tried. Percy was one of the only people in school who seemed to actually know Nico, and that made Jason curious.

“Hey, Percy, how’s it going?” He asked, taking the seat next to him. Jason figured that whoever normally sat there—Travis Stoll, or was it Connor?—wouldn’t mind moving.

“Jason, hey,” Percy said, slightly startled by Jason’s presence, but friendly and energetic nonetheless. Jason noticed that he had one of those infectious smiles, the kind that made everyone, no matter how upset, suddenly feel like smiling along with him. He could see why Percy would have been a good friend for Nico. “I’m fine, I guess. Did you finish the homework from last night?”

Jason’s stomach dropped to his toes. “We had homework in here?”

“Yeah. The reading? About the Labyrinth?”

“Oh,” Jason struggled to recall the myth. He’d originally signed up for the class because of his love for mythology, Greek and Roman myths in particular. He’d read books all about the myths when he was younger, so a lot of the time in class he just learned about stories he already had heard. “Theseus, Daedalus, Minos, Ariadne, some string?”

“Yup. Although you’ll probably need to know more than that for the quiz.”

“Damn it,” Jason groaned, slapping his forehead.

“Been a little distracted lately?” Percy joked.

 _You have no idea, Percy Jackson,_ Jason wanted to say.

“I think now would be a great time to go visit the school nurse,” Jason surmised, rising from his chair just as the bell rang.

“Take your seat, Mr. Grace,” Miss Hecate (whose last name went unused because according to her, no one would be able to pronounce it anyway).

“Uhm, I’m feeling a little nauseous, Miss.”

“Are you going to throw up?” She asked politely.

“No, I don’t think so but—”

“How about you take your quiz and then I can write you a nurse’s pass, hmm?”

 

…

 

The mythology quiz, the physics lab, the economics timed writing . . . Jason was fairly sure he bombed all three of them. No matter how hard he tried to focus, thoughts of Nico rattled incessantly around in his head. Jason couldn’t stop asking himself if Nico would still be there when Jason got home.

So, needless to say, Jason didn’t wait for Leo and Piper after the final bell. Once Jason cleared the front doors of the school, all he could focus on was not full-on sprinting home.

He made it to his building in nearly half the time walking normally took him and speed-walked to the elevator. Why did his floor have to be so damn high up?

When Jason unlocked the door, the apartment was quiet, although that didn’t necessarily mean anything.

An undying optimist, Jason knocked once on the door and waited a second before entering. If Nico, by some wild chance, was still there, he wanted to give the boy advance warning that he was coming in.

Jason took a deep breath and pushed the door open. His jaw nearly hit the floor in surprise at what he saw.

Nico di Angelo was once again fast asleep, curled up on Jason’s bed, but using the comforter from the floor rather than Jason’s actual blankets. Sleeping Nico in broad daylight looked even more innocent and peaceful than sleeping Nico had the previous night. Even considering his black eye and generally bruised face, he looked good. The light seem to shine down straight on him, like a blessing from above. His hair fell around his face like a halo of darkness, which Jason found both ironic and appropriate.

It struck Jason much younger Nico looked while he slept. When Nico was awake, the permanent scowl he wore and the bitter fires raging behind his eyes made him seem mature, aged beyond his years in the worst kind of way: by hardships. But asleep…

Asleep, Nico barely passed for sixteen. Without the foul expression, the boy actually looked more like a fourteen or fifteen year old than someone old enough to drive. It helped that Nico was physically on the smaller side. Jason guessed he was only about five feet seven inches and hardly more than skin and bones.

He really was cute, though. _More_ than cute, even.

But Jason couldn’t think that way. He was trying to _help_ Nico, not date him.

_Help, not date. Help._

Jason let out a breath, quietly shutting the door behind him. He’d just let the boy sleep for a while. Clearly Nico was exhausted. Jason found his book where he’d accidently left it that morning in the kitchen and grabbed a snack. Now that he didn’t have to stress over whether Nico had bailed or not, Jason realized that he hadn’t eaten much during lunch. His stomach had been trying to devour itself for the better part of the last hour.

After consuming a ham sandwich, Jason quickly peeked in his mom’s room. He knew he shouldn’t care—his mom certainly never worried about _his_ whereabouts—but Jason liked to know that she made it home okay every day after her long nights of drinking. Like nearly every time he did this, Jason found his mother passed out on her bed, still dressed from the night before. Jason shook his head. _Typical,_ he thought, bitter even though he wished he wasn’t. Deep down, he still longed for the woman his mother used to be. Sure, his family was never perfect. His dad had hardly been the ideal father, but he made Jason’s mom happy. His family, for the most part, had been a typical one.

More than he missed his mother, more than he missed his father, Jason missed Thalia. She would know exactly how to navigate the Nico situation if she were still here. Jason almost wanted to call her, but how could he possibly bring it up over the phone? And besides, he couldn’t tell anyone about Nico.

But damn, he wished he could. Just to talk to Thalia. Just to get advice from her. “Oh, hey Thalia, I think I’m slightly attracted to this guy from my school. But uh, it’s complicated. Why, you ask? Well, he’s accused of murdering his big sister and currently hiding out in our apartment. And he’s innocent but I have no idea how to prove it. Talk to you later, sis! Miss you!”

Yeah, no.

When Jason walked back into his room, Nico was awake. He sat on the bed, knees up to his chest, face red. “Uh, hi,” he mumbled.

“Hey Nico, how are you feeling?”

“Please stop talking to me like you’re my personal nurse,” the drowsy dark haired boy frowned.

“Would you rather me be your doctor, because I can enroll in medical school,” Jason smirked, making his way over to the bed and sitting on the edge.

“That won’t be necessary.”

“Well what about food, do you consider eating _necessary_?” Jason wiggled his eyebrows.

“Eh, maybe I’ll just wait for you to fall asleep and then feast on your flesh,” Nico decided.

“Sounds fabulous. But for now, how about some actual nourishment?”

Nico gave the older boy a quizzical look, “Did you forget that up until today I had no steady source of food for like, two weeks. I can handle eight hours without eating.”

“Well now you don’t have to.”

“You act like I plan on staying,” Nico commented.

“You’re still here,” Jason replied, unable to conceal a smile.

“Your hero complex is really annoying. I think you’ve read one too many books.”

“One can never read too many books, first of all,” Jason informed him, “and I do _not_ have a hero complex. I’m just doing what I think is right.”

“Harboring a criminal?”

“An innocent kid.”

Anger flashed in Nico’s eyes. “I am not a kid,” he growled, getting out of the bed and crossing the room. “And I’m not innocent, either.”

“A teenage boy, whatever.” Jason hadn’t said kid to be condescending. Nico wasn’t even two years younger than Jason, and he didn’t exactly act like a kid—for the most part… he did have a childlike stubbornness—or look like a kid, either. But still, he had that lost puppy thing going on that Jason couldn’t help but associate with youth.

Besides, Nico _was_ a kid. And so was Jason, for that matter. Legally, neither of them were adults. Sure, teenagers were often treated like adults, and expected to act like ones, but that didn’t change the fact that they weren’t. No matter their behavior, teenagers were still kids.

“Either way, you didn’t murder anyone,” Jason said.

“I may as well have,” Nico muttered ominously, not making eye contact.

Jason wanted to ask what he meant, the curiosity literally burned in his throat. But then Nico turned his back on Jason, making it clear that he was not willing to elaborate.

Nico still didn’t trust Jason, apparently.

Jason added trust issues to the list of things he’d have to work around in order to befriend Nico.

Oh, and self-loathing.

“So, where do we go from here?” Jason asked, changing the subject.

“What?” Nico asked flatly, half turning his head but not completely facing Jason.

“What’s your plan? Clear your name. Get out of the city. Hide out here. What about your parents?”

“What _about_ my parents?” Nico repeated with irritation.

“Could you go to them? They don’t actually think you killed Bianca, right?”

“I’m not going home,” was all Nico had to say about that.

Family questions: apparently _also_ off-limits.

“Okay, then stay here. As long as you want. I mean, I know crashing on my floor isn’t ideal, but if it’s this or the streets . . .”

“I’m not your charity case and I’m not your responsibility. I’ll be out of your hair soon, trust me. It’s better for you that way.”

“Is it better for you? Everyone needs a friend, Nico.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. You have no obligation to be my friend, okay? Nor should you want to. Really, give it a rest.”

Jason growled in frustration, rising suddenly to his feet.“Damn it Nico, we’ve been over this. I know I don’t _have_ to help you, and I don’t _have_ to be your friend. But it’s something I want to do.”

“Maybe it’s not something _I_ want to do.”

“You want to hang around in back alleys and get beaten to shit for money you don’t have?”

Nico opened his mouth to reply, and then snapped it shut, muttering what sounded like curse words under his breath and making some huffing sound. “Maybe that _is_ what I want.”

“Why? Why is that a better option than being safe, fed, and away from people trying to arrest you?”

“Because!” Nico practically yelled. “I have nothing to offer up, okay? Nothing but baggage and way more trouble than you want to concern yourself with. What you think you know, that’s just the tip of the fucking iceberg. We’re not going to be friends, okay? Once I get my mom I’m never coming back to New York again, and you can hopefully forget all of this happened.”

It was a good thing Jason’s mom was a deep sleeper when hung-over, what with all the yelling.

The blond sat down again, letting out a deep, exasperated breath. Being nice had never been so hard before. He was going to argue for the millionth time that Jason wasn’t doing all of this because he expected anything in return, but something the other boy had said caught his attention.

“What do you mean _get_ your mom?” He questioned.

Nico’s expression changed briefly, as if he realized he’d said too much. Other than when he was asleep, it was the most unguarded Jason had ever seen Nico’s face. But then, just as fast as the change had happened, he returned to his sullen and unreadable exterior.

“Nothing. Nevermind. Just leave me alone. Actually, I should just go.”

Jason felt like punching holes in the bedroom door. “I’m really trying here, Nico. I want to know more about you, and what happened, and I want to show you that not everyone in the whole fucking world is a shitty person and you’re too damn stubborn to even consider that maybe being friends could be a good thing, Maybe you could use the help!”

Nico stared at Jason for a long moment, trying to make sense of his words. “You really, _really_ don’t want me as a friend, trust me.”

“That’s my decision to make.”

Nico balled up his fists and looked ready to scream. “You know what, I’m going to tell you a story. Then you can tell me if you still want to be my friend.” A deep darkness had moved into Nico’s features, almost frightening, but not totally. Unsettling, maybe. No person that young should look that aged, that miserable, that tormented.

Jason got comfortable on the bed, preparing for the story he was about to hear. He waited for Nico to sit, too, but the dark haired boy seemed content to stand, still on the other side of the room.

“My father’s never been father of the year, first of all. Apparently his father was an even bigger asshole, though I find that hard to believe. He died when I was young, so I don’t remember much about him. But supposedly he did really fucked up shit. And well, like father like son, my dad was no better.” Nico swallowed hard, turning suddenly to stare out the windows, then back to Jason, hesitantly.

“I think he always hated me. Bianca was his favorite kid, and he even treated her like shit most of the time. But I took the worst of it. He had it out for me since I was just a child. Bianca, she was the family angel. Dad always boasted about her to his friends. But me? I was a nuisance. Sometimes he’d beat me up for no reason at all, but I’d be too hurt and scared to come out of room and he wouldn’t have to see me for a day or two, which was probably how he liked it.” Jason wanted to say something, but found that there were no words inside of him. Not a single word in the whole world.

“ It got worse right before high school,” Nico continued, “Dad found me kissing someone… a guy. He flipped out. Said I wasn’t his son because no son of his would ever kiss another boy. He beat me really bad that time. My mom ended up taking me to the hospital, saying I was jumped by some kids at the soccer fields. Four bullies. Yeah right. More like one jackass father. But well, nothing much I could do but put up with it. At least it was me and not Bianca, not my mother either. All I wanted to do was protect them,” his voice quivered, “But this year my father got even worse. He came to the conclusion that the best way to punish me was to punish the people I cared about. Which was only my mom and Bi—” he could barely say the name, “Bianca. I don’t have friends, Jason. I _can’t_ have friends.”

“He would hit your mom? And your sister?” Jason asked gently.

Nico nodded once, eyes dropping to the floor. “That’s when I started fighting back. Hurting me was one thing. But that was my mom, my sister… I had to protect them.” He paused for a moment, lost in his memories.

“Bianca… she started acting out, trying to take some of the heat off of me. And I couldn’t let her do that. I didn’t want her to get in trouble for me. And my father, he got it in his head that it was my mom’s fault for having such fucked up children. And he… he choked her one time. I was scared he was going to kill her and so I punched him in the face.”

Nico swallowed hard. “That was the worst he’d ever hurt me. I could barely stand. Bi was worried that he’d broken one of my bones. But still, that night I tried to get Bianca and my mom out of there. We couldn’t live like that any longer. I was helping Bianca pack her things… when my dad walked in. He wasn’t supposed to be home. He had a work thing. But he got home early. And he was furious. He told me that by caring so much about my family, I was killing them. He told me that I couldn’t care about people, because that made me think I was brave and strong, and I wasn’t. He didn’t want me to act out. He liked it when I was weak, when I was afraid. But—but I couldn’t let myself be afraid of him. All I could think about was protecting my family. And then my dad made us all go into the kitchen. He put on a pair of gloves and then he… he grabbed one of the knives.”

Jason froze. He was no longer sure whether or not he wanted to hear the end of this story.

“And he was scarily calm all of a sudden, and he smiled,” Nico shared as he paced across the room, not looking anywhere near Jason’s general direction. “He said I had a choice to make. ‘Take your pick, Nicky’ he said. ‘Who are you going to save, and who is going to—’” he stopped moving abruptly, “‘Who is going to die tonight?’”

Tears glistened in the corners of Nico’s eyes. Jason nearly told him to stop, that he didn’t have to finish the story. But once again, his voice had abandoned him.

“I begged him to just kill me. Bianca and my mom were innocent. It was me he was angry with. ‘Killing you wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying as killing your joy,’ he told me. ‘So take your pick. Who do you love more?’ He said if I didn’t pick one, he’d just kill them both.”

Nico dabbed quickly at his eyes, trying desperately to hide the tears as they fell from his eyes.

“So, you chose to save your mom. That’s understandable, Nico. She gave you life,” Jason stuttered.

“No, you don’t understand!” Nico yelled quite suddenly, “I _didn’t_ choose her. I chose Bianca. I mean, Bianca was my sister, she was only seventeen years old! So I told him to spare Bianca. And you know what he did?”

He waited, and Jason knew Nico was waiting for Jason to answer… to say the words out loud so Nico wouldn’t have to. “He killed her,” Jason mumbled.

“There was blood everywhere,” Nico choked out, “I tried to help her, tried to stop it all from flowing out of her. There was so much blood that I couldn’t even see the wound. My mother passed out and I was shouting. I tried to stop Bianca from bleeding out, but I couldn’t. She… she died. Her blood was all over my hands, my arms, my face. And then my father walked up to me and placed the knife in my hands. He said that ‘that’s what happens when you love someone too much. You love them until there’s nothing left of them to care about. Just a bloody corpse.’”

“Oh my God, Nico.” Jason couldn’t find other words to say.

“I had the knife in my hand. I could have killed my father. I should have. But I wasn’t strong enough. I couldn’t kill my own father, no matter how much of a monster he was. I just dropped the knife and ran. Not my smartest moment. But that doesn’t matter anymore. Being arrested is the least of my worries. My mom is still with him. I need to get her out of there. I almost let my father kill her, I owe it to her. I need to save her, and then I need to get far away from my father, and maybe then, way in the future, I can find time to worry about everything else but right now my plate is kind of full, so excuse me if I’m not more enthusiastic about being friends, the last person who tried to do me favors ended up dead. Because of me. Still sound like a friendship you want to get involved in?” At some point, Nico’s crying had turned from tears of loss to unadulterated rage.

Apparently the self-loathing ran even deeper than Jason had anticipated. Here was a sixteen year old boy who literally felt directly responsible for his sister’s murder. His sister who was murdered by her own father simply to teach Nico a lesson. And Jason had thought _his_ family had problems.

How did one react to hearing that a girl was murdered by her own father because the father was trying break his son’s spirit? Jason ran his fingers through his hair.

“I guess saying that I’m sorry wouldn’t really make anything better, would it?”

Nico’s dark eyes bore deep into Jason’s. “No, it wouldn’t.”

“None of what happened was your fault though, Nico,” Jason slowly got to his feet, “You… you get that, right?”

“My sister is _dead_ because of me. You get _that_ , right?” The dark haired boy demanded, stepping closer so he and Jason were less than two feet away from each other.

“You didn’t kill her. You were trying to look out for your family.”

“Well, I did a hell of a job,” Nico noted bitterly, eyes downcast.

“What happened was nothing you could control. It was out of your hands. If you think I’m going to run scared or kick you out, I’m not.”

“Then you’re even more stupid than I thought you were,” surmised Nico.

How could Jason convince this guy that he was there for him, that he didn’t care how fucked up Nico’s situation was?

Okay, well, of course he cared, but that sure as hell wasn’t about to stop him. “You need a friend right now, Nico, with all of this crap going on. At least just stay here while you figure out how to save your mom,” absentmindedly, Jason placed a hand on the shorter boy’s shoulder. Nico flinched away.

“I don’t like to be touched.”

 _Oh, duh. Shit._ “Sorry.” His hand returned to its original position at his side.

Nico squinted at Jason curiously, his head tilted somewhat to the side, his bottom lip caught between his teeth—once again seeming to forget that there was a wound there, or not caring. “Okay, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll stay here and let you pretend to be Superman or whatever you think you’re doing, _if_ you tell me the real reason you want to help me so badly. You may be a good guy, but no one is _that_ good for no reason.”

It was a simple request, except Jason himself wasn’t even sure yet exactly why he was doing this. It just felt… important. Vitally important. The first thing books had ever taught Jason was that everything happened for a reason.

“Look Nico, the way I see it, there are eight million people living in New York. Thousands of tourists every day. Business commuters. People literally from all over the world. And out of all of those people, it was _me_ who found you. And that… that has got to mean _something,_ right? When I found you, at first I didn’t see who you were but I knew I had to help you. And then I recognized you, and maybe I should have been scared or tried to call the cops or something, though in your condition you couldn’t exactly do much harm. Even criminals deserve medical attention, and it wasn’t like I was completely convinced you were a killer anyway—”

“You had no proof otherwise,” Nico reminded.

“I felt it. My gut feeling was that I should help you. And well, I still feel that way. I’ve been alive for seventeen years and haven’t done anything. I read books and spend most of my time talking to a fifty year old man working in a bookstore. I guess I’d started to settle into the fact that maybe I’d just live a mediocre life, never do anything truly worthwhile. But then, yesterday happened. And the more I learn about you, the more I feel like I found you in that alley for a reason. I think we’re meant to figure this out together. Clear your name, get your mom, stop your dad.”

“You don’t want to get involved in my mess,” Nico mumbled.

“You keep saying that, but it’s my decision.”

Nico huffed indignantly. “It’s a shitty decision.”

Jason shrugged. “I guess only time will tell, won’t it?”

“Don’t come crying to me if you end up dead.”

“Is that your way of telling me that you’re agreeing to stay?” Jason asked, trying not to sound overly hopeful and, in all honesty, failing miserably.

“It’s my way of telling you that you’re a huge idiot actually, but if you really care so little about your own life, then fine. I’ll let you live out your little hero detective fantasy.”

The blond smirked, “Hero detective fantasy?”

“I was in your room all day, you think I didn’t see your book collection? Clearly you have a thing for mysteries.”

Jason’s smirked turned into a grin as he looked at Nico, giving him a quick once-over. Such a peculiar boy. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big things are happening! As you can see, I'm not much for dilly-dallying and I felt that Nico wouldn't ever agree to stay with Jason without letting him know JUST what he was getting into, hence the tragic backstory. Poor Nico!
> 
> Anyway, if you want to talk to me outside of this website, you can message me on Fanfiction.net under the name Carlee Adison or check out my tumblr, nephilimgirlbooks.tumblr.com. I check my mail and will also look at any posts tagged #nephilimgirlbooks. Love all of you!


	4. Keeping Secrets (When Lying Has Never Been Your Forte)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friday again already? Time flies! (Except when I'm in class, then it drags on forever.) This chapter was exciting to edit because I added two new scenes to it. I hope you all like it!

On Friday, Jason had to go to work. Normally that would have been a good thing. There were few things Jason loved more than escaping his problems and passing hours at Delphi Books. Jason loved breathing in the somewhat stale air and being surrounded by the smell of books. He enjoyed talking to Chiron, his employer, and he always felt as if he were surrounded by old friends. Delphi was home for Jason.

But this was different. Today, Jason was nervous about going to work. Working after school meant leaving Nico all alone in his room until eight o’clock. His secret house  guest would spend twelve whole hours cooped up in Jason’s room, unable to leave at the risk of running into Jason’s mother.

Even worse, Nico didn’t have any way of getting in contact with him if something _did_ happen. Jason really needed to get that boy a cell phone or something.

Nico had stayed at Jason’s for the last two days, and they’d started to fall into a sort of pattern. Nico slept on the floor with the extra comforter, Jason slept on the bed. In the morning, Jason would grab Nico some breakfast and then eat his own. Once Jason left for school, Nico would pass the day in Jason’s room—reading, sleeping, surfing the internet, any activity that didn’t make noise—and then Jason would get home around 3:30. Then, after the sun went down, his mom would head out and Nico could move around the apartment, shower, eat in the kitchen, and feel less like a house pet and more like a human being.

This was the first day since he’d found Nico that Jason had to work, though, and that made him extremely—and perhaps unreasonably—nervous.

“Someone is a little distracted,” Leo commented in fifth period physics. “Thinking about a book?”

“Not really,” Jason said. “I guess I’m just tired.”

“Get a lot of sleep tonight, dude. Tomorrow is Beckendorf’s party and I don’t need my best friend to be tired and lame and ready to leave by ten o’clock.”

Jason rolled his eyes, “I’m not going to Beckendorf’s party.”

“Jeez, Jason, how are you ever supposed to meet someone if all you do is stay home and read your damn books?”

“I don’t need to meet someone.”

“Are you sure you don’t have a secret boyfriend you aren’t telling me about?”

Jason did have a boy, and he was a secret, but that was beside the point. “Yes, I’m sure. No secret boyfriend.”

“We _need_ to go to the party. Calypso is going to be there.”

“You don’t need me there to flirt with Calypso.”             

“Fine, but don’t expect me to be your wingman when you need one. Jerk.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

Leo shrugged.                                      

 

…

 

At first, staying in Jason’s ridiculously nice apartment, warm and hidden away, had sounded like a pretty sweet deal to Nico. Food, no fear of freezing to death, protection from everyone trying to find him? Count him in!

He’d never considered that it would be so goddamn boring.           

Sure, having Jason around to talk to was nice. He couldn’t deny that—even though he wanted to. Jason continued to be overwhelmingly nice, accommodating, considerate, and well… perfect. He was fucking perfect, okay? (But that was a problem Nico didn’t choose to think about.)

The thing was… Jason couldn’t be around all the time. There were eight hours a day where Jason had to go to school and Nico was left all alone, confined to a single room with little to do and no one to talk to. And that didn’t include the days that Jason worked.

Like today. The first day Jason had to work since taking Nico in. This hadn’t seemed like much of a problem to Nico… until four o’clock rolled around. He was bored, and worse than that, the gnawing pain that Nico was all too familiar with—loneliness—had started to set in. He’d thought he was past the point where he could even _feel_ lonesome, but that would just be too lucky, right? When was he ever lucky?

It had only taken two days for Nico to grow accustomed to the blond’s presence, and now he found himself… missing him? Or just missing the company in general, perhaps. Not missing _Jason._

That would be crazy.

 Whatever the reason, all this alone time was not helping Nico’s sanity. How could he just sit around between these four walls all day long while everything outside of them fell to pieces? Nico didn’t even know if his mom was _okay._ That had to be the worst part. He couldn’t handle the idea that his father may have turned all of his rage on her. What if Nico’s mother got hurt while he just sat around in Jason’s room all day and did nothing?

Unable to continue with that train of thought, Nico crossed the room and plopped down on Jason’s desk chair, starting up the sleek silver laptop.

He had told himself he wouldn’t do this. It wouldn’t accomplish anything. Not a single thing.

But he did it anyway.

With a great sigh, Nico typed three words into the internet search bar.

_Nico di Angelo._

…

 

“Got something on your mind, Jason?” Chiron asked after Jason nearly forgot to give the customer the books she paid for after taking her money.

_Yes,_ he thought, _Nico di Angelo is on my mind._ Jason shrugged, “Nothing in particular, why?”

“You’ve been distracted ever since you got here. You’re getting enough sleep, right?”

“Yeah Chiron, I’m fine.”

Jason started helping Chiron out before he was even old enough to get a job. Chiron was his boss, his friend, and the only father figure Jason really had after his dad died. (And even before then, if Jason was being painfully honest.) It wasn’t surprising to Jason that Chiron could see right through him.

“Something’s going on with you. You’re not usually so unfocused.”

“Just thinking about my new book,” Jason lied.

Chiron raised an eyebrow, “Have you not finished it yet? You got it Tuesday, I thought surely you would have finished by now, the way you read.”

“I accidently left it at home the other day, lost hours of good reading time.” That, at least, was not a lie.

Jason had left his book at home on Wednesday, but since then he’d barely picked it up. All his brain could focus on was Nico, and Nico’s father, and how the hell Jason was going to help, and clear Nico’s name, _and_ reunite him with his mother…

And his eyes—dark, unwelcoming, yet so incredibly intriguing.

Wait, no. Jason wasn’t thinking about _that._ And he certainly wasn’t thinking about that little detail he’d learned about Nico when he told his big long family story. He wasn’t thinking about the fact that Nico got in trouble for kissing a boy.

He absolutely was not thinking about the fact that Nico di Angelo liked boys.

Absolutely not.

“I see,” Chiron nodded. “Well, I’ll let you get back to work. Please try and focus, son.”

“Of course, sir.”

Jason tried to focus, he really did. But no one went to bookstores on Fridays night other than Jason, apparently and he just couldn’t take his mind off of a certain dark haired boy. Jason wanted to think he was just worried that his mom would walk in, or that Nico would decide to leave without warning, but it was more than that.

He didn’t… he _couldn’t_ …

There was no way Jason could have… _feelings_ for Nico, right?

Sure, the younger boy was fascinating, and oddly attractive if one could get past all the bruises, and Jason had to admit he kind of liked being around him.

But liked _him?_

Well, as a friend, sure. Despite all the baggage and infuriating stubbornness, Nico seemed like a cool guy.

A cool, totally platonic friend.

Totally, completely, one hundred percent platonic.

Right?

_Right?_

The problem was… Jason wasn’t entirely sure. He definitely knew that he had strong feelings for Nico, a strong urge to protect him and take care of him, but what did those feelings mean?

However he felt about Nico, it was a feeling that Jason had never experienced before and couldn’t even begin to identify.

So yeah, maybe Jason was a little distracted at work. Sue him.

 

…

 

When Jason finally—finally—got home, he made a mad dash for his room to check on Nico. He still wasn’t totally sure he wouldn’t come home one day to find Nico gone.

“Your internet history is incredibly dull,” Nico informed Jason as he stepped into the room. “I had no idea there were so many wiki page things dedicated to books.”

Jason’s initial relief at finding the younger boy safe and in his room dissipated. “You were snooping through my internet history?”

Nico shrugged. “Well, I already snooped through the rest of your room. Maybe tomorrow I’ll go through your phone.”

Jason glared at him, “Maybe not.”

The other boy chuckled without real humor, “What do _you_ have to hide?”

“Your sixteen year old ass, for starters.”

“Touché,” Nico nodded, “Although I must admit, your room is pretty vanilla. It’s just full of books.”

 “I am not vanilla! Maybe they seems lame to you, but you didn’t actually _read_ the books. They’re not ‘vanilla’ either.” Jason wouldn’t let Nico make his books, no matter how cute he was.

“Oh, what, do you secretly read dirty books?” He withdrew a random novel from Jason’s shelf. “Agatha Christie get pretty kinky?”

“Shut up,” Jason groaned, wishing he had something to throw at the other boy’s head. Perhaps a tractor. No one insulted Agatha and got away with it.

Nico pushed back a lock of hair, drawing the older boy’s eyes to his face. “The bruises don’t look so bad today,” he noticed.

“Does your boss give you drugs? I look like some blindfolded kid mistook me for a piñata.”

Jason snorted. Okay, maybe Nico still had a ways to go before recovery, but he honestly didn’t mind. In fact, it was easy to forget the bruises were even there. Hard to get distracted by a black eye when Nico had already been born with a pair of particularly alluring dark eyes. Those were what had captured Jason’s attention, not the swelling or the bruising or the little cuts from when he hit the cement. Just those eyes. Those beautiful brown—

_What the fuck, Jason?_ The blond reprimanded, mentally slapping himself.

Friends didn’t check their friends out. Period. And Nico was his friend. His friend. Only that.

_Platonic feelings, platonic feelings, platonic, platonic!_

_Holy shit, those eyes._

Maybe slightly more than platonic…

“When is your mom leaving? I’m getting hungry,” Nico asked, yanking Jason back to reality like a bungee cord.

“She’ll probably be gone within the hour. Should I order a pizza or something?” Jason crossed to his bed and flung himself onto the mattress.

“Sure, what kind do you normally get?”

“Just cheese.”

“Vanilla,” Nico coughed, earning him a pillow to the head.

 

…

 

The pizza arrived around the same time Jason’s mom left for the night and was half cheese and half sausage to satisfy both boys.

“So,” Jason started, withdrawing two plates from the cabinet, “Besides going through all of my stuff, what did you do for the thirteen or so hours I was gone?”

Nico shrugged, “Slept a little. Looked through some books and shit. Oh, and I internet searched myself. I am now the most interesting thing in your web history. Apparently the question now is if I’ll kill again. Who would have thought the media would get so excited over a homicidal teenager?”

“You really shouldn’t be reading that crap, you know it’s all lies.”

Nico rolled his eyes. “I’m fine. Do you know how boring it gets sitting around all day? At least life in the streets could get a little interesting. Trying to get food, avoiding the public eye—”

“Getting beaten up by muggers…” Jason added.

“I never said it was all fun, Grace.”

Jason bit down on his pizza slice. “You’re pretty weird, you know.”

Nico side-eyed him, “Apparently you are too, Mr. Kinky Books. It’s Friday night, isn’t it? Won’t your friends be suspicious that you aren’t going out?”

“What do you know about my friends?” Jason inquired.

“You hang out with that loud Valdez guy and Tristan McLean’s daughter,” offered Nico. “She was in one of my classes last year.”

“Piper and Leo,” Jason corrected. “They know I had work tonight. Besides, I don’t really go out much anyway, that’s my mom’s thing.”

“And your other friends?”

“The only other people I consider friends are a middle aged bookseller and you. So I think I’m okay, unless Chiron wants to discuss the new Stephen King novel.”

And then something crazy happened, Nico smiled. Not a bitter smile, an ironic smile, or a cold one, but a genuine, honest-to-God smile. It wasn’t a full smile, more of a small half smile, but it was real. It was the first time Jason could remember actually seeing Nico smile. And it was… transforming. Jason felt like he was witnessing something spectacular. The hardness in his friend’s features melted away for that small moment. Sleeping Nico had nothing on smiling Nico. Jason wanted to make Nico smile again. He wanted to make Nico smile all the time, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Nobody’s smile should have had that much of an impact on him. And yet…

“Is Stephen King your favorite author?” Nico asked, oblivious to the effect he was having on Jason.

Jason gave a noncommittal shrug, “One of them. And Agatha Christie… Don’t look at me like that, she isn’t kinky,” he added in response to the knowing smirk Nico gave him. “James Patterson. Tolkien.”

“What, not Stephenie Meyer?”

Jason made a face. “I’m sorry, what are your hobbies then?”

“Maiming, killing, reanimating corpses, skinning cats. Normal stuff.”

Getting to know Nico was just as difficult as Jason had originally anticipated, if not more so.

 “Come on, your hobbies. Your _real_ ones,” Jason prompted.

“I don’t know, I don’t really have a _thing_ like you do. Although, when I was younger I played this one game. It was kinda dumb though…”

Jason grinned, “What was it?” He couldn’t really picture Nico as a child. He’d only started going to school with the guy last year.

Nico mumbled something unintelligible.

“What?”

“Mythomagic,” Nico repeated, suddenly very interested in his plate. “Don’t laugh at me, Grace. I was a kid.”

“I’m not laughing,” Jason said, chuckling slightly. Nico narrowed his eyes.

“No really,” Jason elaborated, “I’m not making fun of you. When I was a kid I read comic books all day.”

“I knew it, you do have a hero complex. Let me guess, Superman?”

Jason made a face, “No. Spider-Man. Spider-Man kicks ass. And so does Gwen Stacy.”

“You have a thing for Gwen, huh?”

_No, I have a thing for Spider-Man._

“Nah. She’s dead anyway.”

Nico choked on his water. “Really? Hmm. Poor Gwen.”

The blond nodded once. “Yeah, poor Gwen.”

“You’re one of those people who always reads the book before seeing the movie, aren’t you?”

“Anyone who doesn’t is missing out.”

Neither boy knew what to make of the awkward silence that followed.

“So… you have a sister.” Nico prompted.

Jason lowered his pizza slice, “We don’t have to talk about sisters, if you don’t want to.” He wouldn’t really know what to do if Nico started crying again. The dark haired boy wasn’t much for being consoled.

“No, it’s okay,” Nico reassured. “Tell me about her.” The older boy hesitated. Nico rolled his eyes, tossing his hands up in what could only be described as an Italian gesture. “Jesus Jason, I can handle hearing someone talking about their sister without breaking down. And I know next to nothing about your life, which is a little unfair to be honest.”

Jason grinned. There was something kind of adorable about an annoyed Nico. Said adorable boy raised an eyebrow.

“Her name is Thalia,” Jason supplied. “She graduated two years ago and goes to Stanford now.”

“Hence the whole never seeing her thing,” Nico nodded.

“There’s that. And my mother’s a crazy drunk who said she never wants to see Thalia again.”

“I bet that’s hard, not being able to see her.”

Jason shrugged. “Yeah, most of the time I wish she were here. Thalia kind of had to become my mom after our dad died. Mom, uh, didn’t cope well.”

Nico reached out, almost like he planned to lay his hand on Jason’s shoulder, but hastily changed his mind and scratched his head instead. It had been over forty-eight hours since the last time the boys had actually touched. Not that Jason was counting.

“Bi— _Bianca_ , she would always try and Mom me. I used to harp on her about it all the time,” Nico mumbled, staring out the windows at the New York skyline.

“Sisters,” Jason sighed.

“Yeah, tell me about it.”

 

…

 

“What is this?” Nico asked Saturday afternoon, pointing at the shopping bag Jason had just dropped at his feet.

“Clothes. You know, those things that go on your body.”

The younger boy narrowed his eyes. “I have clothes,” he stated. Nico had been perfectly content just wearing the same old clothes he’d worn in the streets, changing only into a pair of basketball shorts Leo had apparently left at Jason’s months ago when it was time to sleep. The idea of Jason actually spending money to get Nico clothing was preposterous. 

“Don’t be stupid. You can’t just keep wearing the same outfit all the time. It’s practically falling apart.” Nico glanced down at the rip in his jeans, running all the way from his mid-shin to above his knee and then examined his shirt, faded to dark gray after weeks in the street and still not completely clean after multiple washes.

“My clothes are in mint condition. Return the damn stuff. You don’t need to be spending money on me.”

“I already did. Oh, and because I knew you’d try and be stubborn about it, I took the liberty of removing all the price tags and, uh, ‘losing’ the receipt. You’re welcome!”

“Persistent asshole,” Nico huffed, grouchily sifting through the bag. Sure enough, he found three shirts—one long-sleeve and two short—and two pairs of incredibly soft sweatpants. Not ideal for going outside in the winter, but that hardly mattered to Nico, the glorified prisoner. At least everything was black. Apparently, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out Nico’s color preference.

After a moment, Nico realized there was another, smaller bag buried under the clothes, stocked with all the necessary toiletries.

“Look, you’re all set!” Jason exclaimed.

“I see that. Thanks. You’re too kind. Really. Too kind.”

The blond grinned widely.

What was Nico going to do with him?

 

…

 

“I hate sitcoms,” Nico complained, flipping through the TV channels mindlessly Saturday night, “They’re so unrealistic it’s ridiculous.”

Jason plopped down on the couch beside the dark haired boy. “But that’s what is so great about them! It’s a distraction from all the shitty problems of the real world.”

“It’s dumb,” the smaller boy corrected. He sighed and handed the remote to Jason, who  accidently brushed his fingertips across Nico’s wrist in the process.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as Nico tore his hand away.

“No, it’s—it’s fine,” the dark haired boy stuttered, looking more than a little embarrassed. “Old habits are kind of hard to break, I, uh, I know you wouldn’t…” He didn’t finish.

A sudden outburst of laughter sounded from the television and Jason turned it off. The room fell into a roaring silence.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Jason said, scratching his forehead semi-uncomfortably. Whether or not he wanted to admit it, there was a part of him that had liked touching Nico, and a part of him that wanted to do it again.

“So… if you don’t like cheesy sitcoms, what _do_ you watch?” Jason inquired, grasping desperately for a change in conversation.

A hesitant smile broke out on Nico’s face, just as remarkable as the night before. “Oh, you know, live beheadings. Isn’t that what all the kids are watching these days?”

The blue eyed boy shook his head.“Can you not give a straight answer?”

“Straight isn’t really my forte,” Nico deadpanned. Jason hoped to God he wasn’t blushing.   

“Good one,” he conceded.

“Does it make you uncomfortable? My… interests?”

_Yes. It makes me super uncomfortable because I might have a more than friendly fascination with you and that is certainly not okay. And for the love of God, stop being so fucking cute._

“Not at all.” That probably would have been a great time to add that Jason shared Nico’s “interests” but it seemed too weird to casually tack on that he was also gay.

_You like dudes? Me too, man! Me too! In fact, I might even like_ you!

Nico examined Jason’s face for signs of dishonesty and whether or not he found any, Jason wasn’t sure. As far as Jason knew, he may very well have had the word gay tattooed to his forehead.

Nico rose hastily to his feet. “Well, I’m just going to go and—” whatever he planned to say was swallowed by a surprised gasp as Nico stumbled on the area rug and nearly face planted. He would have certainly eaten the carpet if not for Jason’s quick reflexes, grabbing his arm and standing suddenly, pulling Nico back to his feet before his hair could even brush the ground.

“Thanks,” Nico muttered, his face redder than a candy apple. (A very cute candy apple, but that was irrelevant.)

“Don’t mention it,” Jason said. He glanced down, at once realizing that his hand still rested on Nico’s arm. “Hey look,” he commented, “No flinching that time.”

“I was a little preoccupied with the whole tripping thing,” Nico retorted.

“Well, you aren’t tripping now,” he reminded, softly gliding his fingers across Nico’s lower arm.

“No, I guess I’m not,” the younger boy breathed, making no effort to push Jason away as he continued to run his fingers across Nico’s skin. Tingles shot up his entire arm at the contact. He’d never though touching the underside of someone’s arm could be so electric.

Feeling bolder, Jason took Nico’s hand and swiped his thumb along the other boy’s knuckles. However, Nico shivered a little, and Jason figured he had probably made the younger male uncomfortable, so he released the hand. “Well, I’m earning your trust at least. It’s a start.”

Nico said nothing, his eyes locked on Jason, dark and more unreadable than ever before. Damn it, Jason knew the hand thing was a step too far. The last thing he wanted to do was creep the kid out, or worse, traumatize him further.

“I already trust you, Jason,” Nico sighed, finally lowering his eyes. “It’s just—things are complicated. But I am trying to be your friend. I can’t promise I’ll be very good at it though.”

Friends had been Jason’s goal from day one. Befriend Nico. Help him. Be there for him, But why did that suddenly feel like not enough? This strange guy who used to play Mythomagic and searched through people’s internet history in his spare time, who didn’t want help with the littlest of things, who was so completely devoted to protecting those closest to him, this massive ball of confusion and cuteness by the name of Nico di Angelo.

Was it possible to have feelings for someone after just four days?

Yes, apparently it was.

God, what in the world had Jason gotten himself into?

“Hey, I’m gonna shower quickly, feel free to do whatever,” Jason announced, suddenly desperate to clear his head,

“M’kay,” Nico replied. “I’ll be here. As if I have a choice.”

Jason chuckled nervously.

 

…

 

Nico was in trouble, and he knew it.

The “holy shit my dad is a psycho killer trying to frame me for murder just because he can” kind of trouble was enough to deal with, and now he had to be caught up in a whole mess of problems revolving around some pretty blue eyes and an infectious smile.

_Straight isn’t my forte? Straight isn’t my fucking forte!?! What an idiotic thing to say. Stupid. Stupid._

When was Nico going to learn? Crushing on straight boys was going to be the death of him. _Fuck it all._

Hadn’t Percy been enough of a close call last spring? He was really going to do this again?

His fucking sister had been _murdered,_ his mom was still with the guy who had done it, and meanwhile Nico was playing house with some guy that it was so, _so_ wrong to be attracted to. How weak-willed could Nico be? A pretty blond boy basically goes through a shitload of trouble to help him and Nico was going to fuck all of that up by developing feelings?

Nope. Nope. Nope.

He didn’t care how good it had felt when Jason touched him. Nico was going to crush his crush before he could ruin everything. He was going to forget about how that little scar on Jason’s lip—which he had been meaning to ask about—made every time he smiled unique and adorable.

He sure as Hell wasn’t going to think about Jason in the shower.

Nico was, however, suddenly curious about the contents of Jason’s books. Ever since last night he’d wondered what secrets could be hidden between their pages. He wandered into Jason’s room.

 He may have acted like he didn’t care much about reading, but that was more to tease Jason than anything. In reality, Nico really enjoyed reading when he could find the time to do so. He’d probably read all of Orson Scott Card’s books three times. And, although he’d never mentioned it to Jason when he’d brought it up, Nico also loved Lord of The Rings.

However, unlike Jason, Nico didn’t read nearly as much as he could have. Maybe that was because Nico spent most of his time outside of school trying to avoid his father’s wrath and look out for Bianca.

_So much for that._

Pain shot through Nico’s heart. He wondered if there would ever be a day where Bianca’s name didn’t make him want to curl up on the floor, cover his ears, and scream.

He sighed, selecting a random book. Nico needed a distraction even more than he had before.

“That’s a sequel,” Jason said. Nico jumped. He hadn’t even heard the shower stop or noticed the door open. Thinking of Bianca shut his senses down.

Not normally caught by surprise, Nico pivoted around to make up some excuse for jumping.

_Holy shit._

“Sorry, I forgot my clothes out here.”

Jason was in a towel.

A fucking towel.

His hair was wet and messy, sticking to his forehead in some places. Drops of water slid down his naked chest, falling all the way to the towel around Jason’s waist, drawing Nico’s eyes down.

_Shit, stop it! What are you doing? Stop checking him out!_

“Oh, yeah,” Nico mumbled, looking away. It didn’t really matter what his eyes landed on as long as it wasn’t Jason.

What kind of a fucking book nerd had a body that ridiculously good? Abs, seriously?

Straight, hot, and apparently rich (his apartment was fucking nice), yeah, Jason was so far out of his league it was pathetic.

And then on top of that he had to walk around in nothing but a towel? That was just cruel.

_Did you forget I’m gay?_ Nico wanted to scream. _Put some mother fucking clothes on!_

“The first book is over here,” Jason said, reaching behind Nico and removing another book from God only knew where. Nico could care less about the damn book.

_Oh sweet Jesus, get dressed already!_

_In the bathroom._

_With the door shut._

_For the love of God._

“Thanks,” Nico mumbled, taking the book and scurrying away. At least in the living room he was safe from Jason’s hot body.

It was official: Nico was in _so_ much trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Jason and Nico are starting to get settled in to this new routine... sort of. ;)
> 
> Friendly reminder to follow me on Tumblr: nephilimgirlbooks 
> 
> Also, I'd love if you guys would comment and let me know how you're liking the story so far. See you next week!


	5. Letting Go (It's Harder Than You Think)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this earlier but my three week old nephew is over so... yeah I got a little distracted. Oopsie! Anyway, enjoy!

Monday morning was painful.

Jason couldn’t seem to fall asleep at night these days. His mind refused to shut down, no matter how many times he tried to persuade it to do so. Nico couldn’t sleep either, but they never really discussed it. Two boys tossing and turning and sighing and getting up to go the bathroom without talking was kind of awkward, but there was not much they could do about it. Trying to strike up a conversation meant acknowledging that neither of them would be getting much sleep that night. And that meant giving up.

Jason felt like he’d been asleep for all of forty minutes when his alarm went off. He didn’t know if it was actually only forty minutes, but he hoped not. He needed at least a few hours to get through the day.

Nico groaned in response to the shrill ringing.“Fuck, turn it off!”

“Sorry,” Jason mumbled, still half asleep. The beeping ceased.

“Get a more pleasant alarm, for the love of God, I beg you.”

“Go back to sleep, Nico.”

“What the hell is sleep?” Came the boy’s muffled voice, buried deep in a pillow.

“Something that you can do all day while I’m at school, so stop complaining,” Jason replied grouchily, throwing his legs over the side of the mattress and beginning the painful process of parting with his warm bed.

Jason didn’t need to check the weather to know that it was going to be another miserably cold day. Snow swirled through the still-purplish sky outside his window. He decided to hold off on the shower until after school. Jason had no desire to arrive at school with icicles forming in his hair.

Jason picked out some warm clothes and headed to the bathroom to change and get ready for the day. Shit, he was _not_ looking forward to another dragging week of school. On top of his lack of sleep, Jason hadn’t completed his stats homework or finished the mythology reading, something that he blamed on a particular Italian-American teenager with a penchant for stubbornness and a pair of sexy dark eyes.

Great, Jason found Nico _sexy_ now? He was supposed to be ignoring his attraction, not letting it grow and take root. Things were _not_ going to end well if Jason kept on this path. What the hell had he been thinking Saturday night, just waltzing out of the bathroom in a towel? What if Nico thought Jason was trying to seduce him? What if that’s why he had been more remote since then?

Maybe it was for the best that Nico didn’t know about Jason’s preference for boys. Jason would never forgive himself if this kid in need ran away from help because he felt like his benefactor/friend was trying to get in his pants.

So so so _so_ fucked up.

Jason finished dressing and had just grabbed his coat when there was a sudden knocking on the bedroom door.

“Jase, hurry your ass up!” Leo called from the other side.

Nico shot up, and he and Jason stared at each other for a panicked moment. “Closet,” Jason mouthed. The younger boy nodded and scurried off.

Jason took a breath and opened his bedroom door. “Leo, what the hell are you doing _in_ my apartment? We lock our doors.”

Leo grinned mischievously, “Well I have a key, obviously. I stole the spare out from under the front mat like a month ago. You didn’t even notice. You aren’t very observant for someone who has more mystery books than the school library.”

“Like you’ve ever stepped foot in the school library,” Jason teased.

“You’ve got to admit though, it was a great metaphor.”

“Analogy,” Jason corrected instinctually.

“Smart ass. I know why you ditched the party Saturday after all. You don’t have a secret boyfriend, you’re having a love affair with your English textbook.”

The taller boy rolled his eyes.“Wait, why are you here? It isn’t even seven-thirty.”

“Jason Grace, do you never pay attention to anything ever?” Leo exclaimed, “We specifically discussed Friday at lunch that we’re meeting Piper for doughnuts before school today. At this rate, she’s going to beat us there.”

“Okay, one second, let me get my shoes.”

“Also, you should have been at Beckendorf’s party. Lots of guys you could have been checking out. A lot more attractive than your English textbook.”

“Don’t make me hit you,” Jason threatened. “Come on, let’s go. And give me back the damn spare key.” 

 

…

 

“So, how was your weekend Jason?” Piper asked as the trio sat down at a table. “You should have gone to Beckendorf’s. Leo got rejected by Calypso again.”

Leo glowered at his friend. “She’s playing hard to get. No matter, though, I like them feisty.”

“Them? Girls are living breathing things, Leo,” Piper chided.

Jason would be happy to let his friends do all the talking, but of course he wasn’t that lucky. “Really though, what did you do? Finally finish that book?”

“Yeah,” Jason said, probably the only thing he _had_ done that weekend that he could be honest about.

“Everything you hoped?”

“Oh come on, do we _have_ to talk about books? That better not have been why you skipped out on the party.”

“It wasn’t,” Jason told him. “I just had no desire to go to the party. All people from school do is gossip about Nico di Angelo. They don’t even know if he’s guilty.”

Piper sipped her coffee. “I think everyone is pretty sure he did it. I agree though, it _is_ annoying. Hopefully it will all quiet down after they catch him or find his body or whatever it is they’re looking for at this point.”

Jason wanted to snap at her, but held back. Of course she thought Nico was guilty, his fingerprints were all over the knife. Nico’s dad had really set up the perfect crime. It made Jason sick. He wished he hadn’t even brought Nico up in the first place.

His name was just word vomit. Jason couldn’t _not_ think about him, couldn’t help but talk about him. God, he was just as bad as everyone at school. He was obsessed with Nico just like the rest of Goode High School and all of New York, for that matter.

There was only one real difference. Kids at school just cared about Nico for the sake of gossip. And Jason…

Jason cared too much.

 

…

 

Nico had planned on going back to sleep once Jason left for school. Those plans changed when Leo showed up. Nico hid in the closet, so he wouldn’t be seen, but that hadn’t stopped him from hearing the brief conversation the two friends had before heading out.

Why was Leo telling Jason about cute _guys_ at the party? Surely Jason could care less about what the other guys looked like.

Jason was straight.

Right?

_Please please please be straight. It would be so much easier if you were straight._

Ever since Saturday’s shower incident Nico had attempted to distance himself more from Jason. The more he got to know him, the more he liked him. Why couldn’t Nico just be his friend like Jason kept talking about? Nico needed a friend, now more than ever. He couldn’t fuck this up, or he’d be back on the streets. And, despite how Nico acted outwardly, he was really, _really_ grateful for Jason’s generosity. A roof, a heating system, food, a bathroom… way more than Nico had as a homeless kid. It didn’t even matter that Nico slept on the floor, he had blankets and a pillow and it was perfect.

Well, nearly perfect.

God, why did he have to like Jason so much? Nico hadn’t even been staying with him a week, he barely fucking knew the guy, and yet he couldn’t stop thinking about him.

One would imagine that with all the other shit going on, Nico wouldn’t possibly have time to think about boys but that was a damn lie. He was sixteen years old, and apparently that meant there was _always_ time to think about boys. It was hard _not_ to, considering Nico slept all of three feet away from the boy on his mind and spent all day in his bedroom.

Nico had even told him the truth about Bianca! What the hell was that? Nico had spilled some of his darkest secrets to a near stranger. That should have sent Jason running. It certainly would have sent others racing for the hills. How could Jason possibly still want to be Nico’s friend after Nico had dropped _that_ bomb. Of course, Jason didn’t know the _whole_ story. He deserved to know exactly what he’d gotten himself into, but Nico wasn’t eager to fill in the gaps.

Some secrets were better left that way—secret.

 

…

 

The school week moved along miserably slow. Jason’s teachers had all gotten the idea to give double the usual homework load, which was awful enough on its own. But of course, on top of that was the constant distraction of Nico and the way he tended to draw Jason’s thoughts away from his schoolwork.

He would sit and watch Jason work, occasionally leaning over to see what the assignment was. He’d comment on Jason’s handwriting and make the occasional joke when Jason would get particularly frustrated. Of course, as a sophomore, Nico shared no classes with Jason so he simply lounged there. Sit there and smirk like watching Jason do homework was the most interesting damn thing in the world. It made Jason want to scream.

Clearly, his “little” crush on Nico was developing into a huge issue. _Shit._

“I can’t read about Ariadne and the labyrinth with you breathing down my neck, Nico.”

“I’m bored,” he replied.

“Watching me do homework is interesting?”

“No, but you getting all irritated is mildly amusing.”

“Well, I can’t work this way.”

Nico sighed, “Fine, pick me out a book and I’ll leave you alone.”

“You want me to pick out a book for you?” Jason asked, a little surprised.

“Sure. Since you’re the book guru or whatever. Find a book for me.”

Jason chewed on his lip while he scanned the bookshelves all around him, contemplating. After a moment, he stood and selected a book from the shelf above his desk. “Here,” he tossed the book to Nico. “This one is part of a series, that should keep you busy for a while.”

“ _The Maze Runner_ ,” Nico read, “Is this one of your secret dirty books?”

“It’s young adult fiction,” Jason corrected. “And I never said I had secret dirty books.”

“I inferred,” Nico admitted with a chuckle.

“It’s a good book. Go read it.”

Nico rolled his eyes and crossed over to Jason’s bed and falling back onto it with a smirk.

Oh fabulous, now Nico was on his _bed._ That did nothing to help Jason focus.

_Thank God it’s almost Friday._

…

 

Friday. Unlike most teenagers, Nico had never looked forward to Fridays. He detested weekends. Before a month ago, Fridays meant having to go home and not being able to escape to school until Monday. It meant a whole weekend of being terrified of his father, terrified to even leave his own room. School may have sucked, but at least it gave Nico a chance to get away. At school, he was the quiet creepy kid who had no friends, but he never had a problem with that. It was better than home, where Nico was his father’s biggest shame and favorite punching bag.

Nico used to lie awake on Friday nights and dream of running away and never seeing his father again, but he could never bring himself to go. He couldn’t leave his mother and sister behind. He was tethered to them.

Bianca and his mother had always been the two ropes that held Nico to the earth. When Bianca died, one of those ropes snapped, cut like the strings of fate in Greek mythology. Now, the only thing keeping Nico from floating into oblivion was his mother. He  had to save her. _He had to._

On Friday morning, Nico stared as Jason prepared for school. He didn’t mean to be such a stalker, but ignoring Jason was like trying to ignore the flashing jumbotrons in Times Square. As Jason zipped up his jacket, Nico couldn’t help but think of the body Jason hid under all those clothes. How did a book nerd have such a nice physique? It was all Jason’s fault. Did he really have to be nice, smart, _and_ attractive? How was that fair?

Typical Nico—always doomed to develop feelings for guys it could never work out with.

Nico stiffened. Too many bad memories.

“I told Chiron I’d help him after school today, but it’s not a full shift. I’ll probably be back around five,” Jason announced, tearing Nico away from his thoughts. Nico, realizing that he had been staring at Jason the entire time that his mind had been wandering, felt his face heat up.

“Yeah, okay,” he mumbled, unable to meet Jason’s eyes. “Have fun learning.”

“Have fun snooping through my stuff, assessing my internet history, and scrutinizing my reading choices,” Jason teased.

Nico smirked, “I will.”

For a second, neither Jason nor Nico moved. Each boy stood their ground with little grins on their faces. Nico didn’t want the moment to end. He didn’t want Jason to turn away and exit the room. He didn’t want to spend the next ten hours alone surrounded by all of Jason’s things and no Jason.

As the blond left, Nico felt a tugging in his gut, like a small string pulling him in the direction of the door that Jason had just exited through.

Just a string, not a rope, but certainly one that hadn’t existed before.

Nico wondered how long it took to become attached to someone. Could it happen in only ten days?

 

…

 

A part of Nico liked to think he wasn’t really falling for Jason Grace. Obviously Nico felt the physical attraction, but come on, he was a teenage boy and Jason was by no means unpleasant to look at. However, Nico also knew the difference between recognizing someone’s good looks and having real feelings for them. Knowing someone for less than two weeks surely couldn’t enough time to develop real feelings.

At least, that was how Nico saw it.

Maybe his feelings could be simply defined as infatuation. Nico was just infatuated with Jason. He spent all day in his room and was literally reminded of the blond every minute of the day. But that didn’t mean much. If Nico wasn’t constantly living in Jason’s world, would he feel anything for him at all?

What Nico _really_ needed was fresh air. Surely being away from the smell of Jason’s shower gel would help Nico clear his mind. If Nico could just get away from planet Jason for a few hours...

  But that would mean taking a colossal risk. That would mean actually venturing out of Jason’s apartment. Hell, Nico wasn’t even supposed to leave Jason’s bedroom, let alone the entire damn building.

And yet, now that the idea had settled into Nico’s head, he couldn’t release it. Just a nice walk to clear his mind. The fresh air would do him good. He’d survived on the streets for weeks, he could get by for just a few measly hours without being noticed. Nico was a master of staying under the radar.

Jason would be furious of course. But it wasn’t even two o’clock yet and Jason wouldn’t be home for three more hours. He wouldn’t have to know…

Hadn’t Jason told Leo to put the spare key back under the front mat? If it was there, then Nico could stretch his legs and be back in Jason’s room before five without him ever being the wiser.

Nico grabbed his jacket.

 

…

 

The apartment building Nico had once lived in was far less opulent than Jason’s. It’s brick façade would be greatly benefitted by a power wash and a facelift. Nico’s family did alright money-wise, he supposed. They’d never had to worry about paying the bills or anything, and they could probably have afforded to move somewhere in a nicer part of town, but they never had.

“A good, Italian neighborhood,” his father used to say. Nico had never seen what was so “good” about it.

Still, the apartment was the only home that he had ever known. He figured that—standing outside and staring up at it—perhaps he ought to feel nostalgic or sentimental upon seeing it again. He didn’t.

Twice since Bianca’s death had Nico returned to the apartment. This was maybe riskier than other things he had done—a hood would hardly disguise Nico if he were to come face to face with his father—but he couldn’t stop himself. It was like pressing on a bruise, clenching down on a sore tooth, scratching a mosquito bite until it bled. It didn’t make anything better, but he couldn’t help himself.

Nico couldn’t release the hope that one of these times his mother would happen out of the building, spot Nico, and then they could run.

That was what Nico wanted. What he needed more than anything. An intense longing tore apart his insides.

But, even out here in the fresh—or, fresh for New York at least—air, Nico couldn’t completely forget about the blue eyes and white smile that captivated him so.

And he wasn’t sure what that meant for him. Rescuing his mother was his priority… but what did that make Jason?

Nico knew that he liked Jason way more than he should. He knew it would be better if he just didn’t go back. If he forgot all about Jason and threw himself one hundred and ten percent into saving his mother.

He turned and headed back to the Financial District—straight toward Jason Grace’s apartment building.

Because maybe, just maybe, Nico was tired of doing things alone, no matter how stupid or selfish that made him.

 

…

 

When Jason arrived at work that afternoon, Annabeth had already arrived. She sat behind the cash register, a new book in her hand.

“Finished the Quran?” Jason asked, raising his eyebrows. Annabeth glanced up at him.

“Yes, over the weekend.”

“So what is that you’re reading now?” He examined at the title, “ _Mein Kampf?_ Isn’t that the—”

“The Hitler book, yes.”

“Uh, why?”

“Because it’s interesting, and I was looking for some light reading.”

The book was probably seven hundred pages. “Right, of course. I’ll leave you to it.”

Chiron had Jason shelving new arrivals, a job that he typically enjoyed. He liked seeing what new books were coming in, what they were about, and sometimes he would add them to his personal reading list.

This time was slightly different. As Jason gave books new homes on shelves, he found himself wondering which books _Nico_ would like. Nico. Nico. Nico. Nico.

Not even work seemed to be able to distract Jason from his secret boy. No, not _his_ boy. _A_ boy. Just a normal boy that Jason had no claim to. Nico di Angelo wasn’t _his_ anything.

He couldn’t even be sure if Nico thought of Jason as his friend. They’d gotten along well the first few days, but since then Jason had noticed the other boy growing colder. More distant. Like he’d opened up too much and now the only way to fix things was to retreat back into his own safety bubble. Now their interactions were all teasing, all light conversation, no substance.

Jason hated that. Nico didn’t need to carry his burdens all on his own. Bottling all of that darkness up inside wasn’t good for the kid’s health—mental or physical. Jason just wanted Nico to feel comfortable around him, safe.

But he also got the feeling that Nico probably wouldn’t feel safe or comfortable around anyone for a long, long time.

 

…

 

            It was an especially slow Friday, so Chiron let both Jason and Annabeth off at four instead of five.

            Jason picked up a few groceries on the way home—he would actually _make_ dinner tonight—and still managed to make it back to his building by four-thirty.

The first thing Jason did upon returning home was drop off the groceries in the kitchen. Then, out of habit, he went to his mom’s roomed, opened the door, and peeked inside. Empty bed, no sign of his mother. She must have left at some point, God only knowing when she’d return. Sometimes, especially on weekends, she’d disappear for days at a time.

After those two things were done he finally— _finally_ —headed to his own room to check on Nico and let him know it was safe to come out.

Upon first opening the door, Jason noticed a distinct lack of Nico. _Strange._

“Nico? Are you going through my closet again?” Jason asked.

No reply.

“Nico?” Jason repeated, a cold fist closing around his heart.  

And then Jason noticed that Nico’s jacket, the old-looking aviator styled one he’d been wearing when Jason first found him in the street, was also missing.

No jacket. No Nico.

 

…

 

Jason found himself pacing back and forth in front of the couch in the living room. The clock informed him that it was four forty-five. Jason had left for school nearly ten hours ago. How long had Nico been gone? The entire time? How far could a kid trying to stay under the radar get in just under ten hours? By the looks of it, one of Jason’s hoodies had also disappeared.

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit._

Nico had seemed so normal when Jason left that morning. He hadn’t shown any signs of wanting to leave. It didn’t make sense. Why would Nico run away? There was no way he could save his mother if he got caught and thrown in prison. Was Jason’s presence really so unbearable?

_I—I have to go out and look for him,_ Jason decided. _Maybe I can find him before the cops do. Maybe I can convince him to come back._

He started for the door—

Just as the knob twisted and it slid open.

Nico di Angelo casually stepped into the apartment, spare key in his hand. Almost instantly, however, his eyes landed on Jason, and he visibly tensed.

“You’re home early,” he stuttered, which was probably the most obvious statement of all time. He closed the door behind him slowly.

“Where the hell were you?” Jason half-yelled, trying to mask his intense relief at seeing Nico unharmed with fury. “I thought you ran off! You scared the _shit_ out of me.”

“I just… went for a walk, okay? You try staying inside for a week and a half without going outside.”

“You. Went. For. A. Walk.” Jason spat. “Over eight million people in the area think you’re a murderer and you just decided to go for a _walk_?”

“Fuck off, I know what I’m doing. Look, I know it was risky, stupid, whatever, but clearly nothing happened to me. I’m fine. You forget I survived on the streets for _weeks._ And why do you care if I go outside anyway, it’s my neck on the line.”

Jason swallowed a scream. _I care because, for some demented reason, I’ve developed feelings for you and when I thought you’d left me I didn’t know how to handle it and I was ready to crawl through every sewer in New York until I found you because I’m selfish._  

Instead he said, “You think I’m not a part of this? Nico, you’re living in my house. I could get in trouble too if you got caught.”

_Shit, that came out wrong._

“Well, sorry to inconvenience you,” Nico snapped, “Maybe I should just leave for real.”

“Oh for Christ’s sake, stop being so ridiculous. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry. We’re friends, Nico. Friends look out for each other. We _are_ friends, aren’t we? I just—you scared me, all right? Please don’t do that again.”

“You weren’t even supposed to know I was gone,” the dark haired boy mumbled, his eyes downcast.

“You haven’t done this before, have you?” Jason asked, suddenly horrified. Nico shook his head.

“Damn, I didn’t mean to stress you out, okay? I walked by my apartment, I kept my head low, no one saw me. I was going crazy in here all day. Here’s your hoodie, by the way,” he said, shrugging off his aviator jacket and then unzipping the hoodie and tossing it to Jason. The blond didn’t try to catch it.

“What if someone _had_ recognized you? You would have been completely fucked!”

“I get it, I get it. Enough with the lectures please.”

Jason rubbed his forehead and released an exasperated breath. “Whatever. Have no regard for your own safety. Are you hungry? I bought chicken to make for dinner.”

Nico gave a little nod and didn’t meet Jason’s eyes. Jason wordlessly headed over to the kitchen. He knew he’d probably overreacted, but he couldn’t help it. He was angry at Nico for leaving, but he was even angrier at himself for how much he had let it affect him. A horrible panic had stirred up inside of him when he realized the younger boy was gone. And that was certainly not a normal reaction, considering that eleven days ago he’d barely spoken to the boy once in his life He should not have been so terrified by Nico’s disappearance and definitely not _so_ relieved when he returned safely. Nico was right, it shouldn’t have been such a big deal to Jason.

But it was.

 

…

 

Jason cooked in silence, awkwardly aware of Nico, who sat on one of the barstools and stared down at a book. Whether or not he was _actually_ reading was a gray area.

At first, Jason had just been fine with stewing in silence. After twenty-five minutes, however, the lack of conversation became unbearable.

“So…” Jason attempted, “How are you liking the book?”

Nico glanced up at Jason, presumably trying to gauge his mood. “Uh, it’s good. I’ve never heard of this author.”

“Yeah, he hasn’t written much,” Jason agreed. “But what he has is brilliant.” The tension in the room was so thick he could have taken the knife he was using to chop the vegetables and literally cut through it. “Dinner will be ready in five minutes.”

“I didn’t know you could cook,” Nico mutters. “Like, actually cook.”

“Yeah, uh, my mom taught me. She use to cook a lot… before…” he didn’t finish.

“Speaking of which, where is your mom today?”

Jason shrugged. “She doesn’t always come home. Sometimes she stays at some boyfriend’s house or something. Honestly, it’s easier without her here. Although I do worry about anything bad happening to her.”

There was another heavy moment of silence. “My mom makes great Italian food. She actually use to have a restaurant in Little Italy back when I was a kid.”

“That’s pretty awesome,” Jason commented. “I love spaghetti.”

“Spaghetti is like the hamburger and hotdog of Italian food,” Nico scoffed. “There is so much more to offer. You poor deprived soul.” Jason looked at Nico sideways and found the smaller boy was smirking. Some of the awkward tension in the room dissipated.

“I’m deprived? You’re the one who hasn’t read _Game of Thrones!_ ”

Nico rolled his eyes, but didn’t stop smirking. Jason found it hard to maintain his earlier anger when Nico looked _that_ damn adorable. Slowly, Jason had been developing an appreciation for all of Nico’s little facial expressions.

“Oh, shut up,” the dark haired boy said.

For a minute, neither of them said anything. And then, “You know, if I actually had been caught today, I’d never sell you out Jason. I’m not going to let you get in trouble for me.”

Jason sighed and turned to Nico. “I know. That’s not really why I was upset.”

Nico’s eyebrows furrowed, “But—”

“I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. You have the right to do what you want. And uh… if you’re unhappy here…”

The younger boy let out a deep breath and closed his book. “Jay, that’s not it. I’m probably as happy as I can be here, given the circumstances,”—had Nico given him a nickname?—“but that just doesn’t change the fact that I’m in here and my mom’s out there. I have to save her, and that’s going to risk my safety, so get used to it.”

“And I told you I’m here to help,” Jason reminded calmly. “Let me.”

“I don’t get you, Jason. Not one bit.”

“We’re friends. Well at least, _I_ think we’re friends. And friends watch each other’s backs, right?”

Nico shrugged, “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never really _had_ friends before. Bianca,” her name came out in a low, unsteady voice, “was my best friend.”

“Oh come on, you have friends Nico. What about Percy Jackson? I’ve seen you talk to him before.”

Nico’s face reddened. “I doubt he considers me a friend. It’s not like we ever really hung out. He was closer with Bianca.” Jason sensed a story there and filed the question away for a later date.

“And Hazel Levesque?” He prompted.

 “She’s my second-cousin. That’s about the extent of our relationship.”

Jason raised his eyebrows, “You never mentioned any family in the area.”

“She’s my dad’s side of the family. Her parents have always hated me,” Nico said matter-of-factly.

“So you haven’t tried to get a hold of Hazel then, I’m assuming?”

Nico shook his head. “I doubt she cares if I’m okay one way or another. She probably hates me for what I did to Bianca. Or well, what everyone _thinks_ I did.”

“How do you know she wouldn’t believe you—”

“I just do, okay?” Nico replied sharply. “The point is, I don’t have experience with friendships. I’m a really shitty friend.”

Jason let the matter drop. “Well, I can’t stop you from leaving the apartment, but a note would be nice next time.”

“I was planning on getting back before you, anyway. You said you were working till five,” Nico mumbled.

“Please just write a note next time,” Jason repeated unwaveringly. He wasn’t going to lecture Nico for sneaking around and try to keeps secrets. Nope. That was Nico’s business and Jason should stay out of it. It didn’t bother him that Nico had tried to do it behind his back. Nope. Not at all.

... Okay, maybe it bothered him a little.

 

…

 

Returning to the apartment to find Jason there had been a surprise.

Jason’s anger had been an even bigger one.

Sure, Nico had expected Jason to disapprove of his little field trip. That was why Nico had gone when Jason was away and would never know about it. But the way Jason seemed personally hurt and offended, like Nico had gone just to cause Jason stress, that was… odd, to say the least.

Nico could certainly acknowledge that returning to his old street had been stupid and risky. But Nico had remained plenty conscious of his surroundings and like always, nobody bothered to give him even a first glance, let alone a second one. Nico wished he could explain that to Jason.

The other side of Nico wondered why he should have to defend or explain himself in the first place. Why did it matter if he did reckless things? Nico was sincere when he told Jason that he would never rat him out, so why did Jason act like it had been his security on the line, and not Nico’s, when Nico went out today?

Despite all of his talk of friendship, Jason couldn’t actually care about what happened to Nico? Could he?

Hell, why would he?

Nico hadn’t exactly been nice to Jason over the course of the last week and a half. He hadn’t been a complete asshole either, but he’d been a far cry from pleasant. Nico knew he wasn’t a friendly person. Jason was probably days away from getting tired of Nico’s moods. Pretty soon, he’d be kicking Nico back into the streets.

Right?

Jason didn’t genuinely care about Nico. And this was not a permanent arrangement.

It didn’t matter to Nico either way, though.

_Damn liar. You can convince Jason you don’t care, but you’re never going to convince yourself._

How was it that the prospect of a Jason who cared was equally the most thrilling and terrifying thing Nico could imagine?

“Dinner is ready,” Jason announced flatly, glancing sideways at Nico. God, when had his eyes become so marvelously blue?

And why the fuck was Nico using adjectives like marvelous?

_This is such bullshit._

Nico stood and crossed to where Jason stood at the stove. Grilled chicken, steamed vegetables, _and_ Italian bread fresh out of the oven? Was Jason a real teenage boy?

“You weren’t kidding about the cooking thing,” Nico mumbled. Jason shot him a mischievous grin.

And Nico did _not_ think about how hot it looked. No, he definitely did not.

“Just wait till you actually taste it,” the blond laughed.

And Nico’s mind did _not_ drop straight into the gutter. There were no inappropriate thoughts to be had about Jason Grace, the one person who was actually stupid enough to be his friend. Nico may not have had much experience with guys, but he was pretty sure that thinking of them sexually when they were just supposed to be your friends was wrong. _Wrong, wrong, wrong._

They both sat their plates at the bar, and Nico wished—too late—that he had left a buffer seat between him and Jason. In their current position, Nico’s arm and Jason’s nearly brushed as they moved. The distance between them seemed to buzz with electricity that Nico knew only he felt.

The dark haired boy cut a piece of chicken and placed it in his mouth. “Oh, fuck,” he practically moaned.

“Good?” Jason inquired.

Nico nodded. “You sold your soul to the devil, didn’t you?”

“Nope. Sorry to disappoint you.”

Nico rolled his eyes and shook his head. Jason laughed.

“Between my mother and my Aunt Demeter I must admit I am a master chef,” he boasted, and Nico just nodded because he was out of snarky remarks and he’d rather say nothing at all than something stupid like: _“Care to teach me a few tricks?”_

They ate quietly.

“Look, how about we just forget about earlier? You shouldn’t have left, I shouldn’t have yelled at you, whatever. The past is the past. I don’t want things to be awkward,” Jason blurted.

Nico opened his mouth, prepared to say that yes, he liked that idea very much, when Jason flashed one of those million dollar, heart-stopping smiles.

And then his mouth kind of just hung open awkwardly and DAMN Jason Grace and his stupid smile.

Jason’s grin began to wane, “Normally, this is the part where _you’d_ say something.”

“Oh, right, yeah,” Nico sputtered. “I mean, yes. Past is the past. I’d like—that’d be good.”

Why why why did Nico have to like this guy so much? Apparently, hearts didn’t care how inconvenient the timing was. When they wanted someone, they wanted them _bad._

“You know, Nico,” the other boy commented, “You’re kind of weird.”

“Look who’s talking,” Nico retorted, finally regaining his metaphorical footing.

 

…

 

“Nico,” Jason asked, as he and the younger boy dried the last of the pans from dinner, “You said your mother used to own a restaurant. What does she do now?”

“She’s a stay at home mom,” he flinched, “Or, a stay at home wife, I guess.”

Jason nodded, “What does your father do for a living?”

Nico dried his pan with more force, eyes downcast. “What happened to the past is the past?” He snapped.

Jason finished his own pan and laid it down beside the sink. “Nico, I’m supposed to be helping you. I can only do that if you let me.”

“I don’t see how knowing what my father’s job is could possibly help you with that.”

The question, asked with harmless intentions, suddenly doubled in importance.

Jason placed a hesitant hand on the dark haired boy’s arm. “I think the pan is clean, Nico.”

Those dark eyes finally looked up, locking on Jason’s. The taller boy could feel Nico’s stare all the way down to his bones and had to fight to suppress a shudder.

Silence filled the kitchen.

“He’s a businessman. I guess. Sales or something. He—he never talked about work around us.”

Jason recalled his own father—a chief urban planner working in every major city in the northeast—who had liked to complain about his job every night at dinner. He grumbled so often that sometimes Jason would _dream_ that he was his father, busy at work all hours of the day.

The idea that some kids had no idea what their parents did for a living was absolutely insane.

Then again, so was murdering your own daughter.

“Never?” Jason asked, still shocked.

“All he would ever say is that he was in sales. Nothing special. And it doesn’t matter anyway. Look, I don’t want to talk about him. Drop it.”

Jason cringed. He hadn’t meant to upset Nico. “Sorry. I know it’s hard to talk about. Let’s just… watch a movie or something, okay?”

Nico sighed, and then, after what felt like a lifetime, managed a small smirk. “What, you wouldn’t rather read?”

Jason chuckled and, at least for the time being, things between them were okay.

 

…

 

Nico couldn’t fall asleep. He tossed and turned on the floor as two turned to three and three turned to four, his mind racing with a million different issues.

Jason, who had been asleep for hours, could be blamed for at least half of them. Why did he keep trying to be so helpful? Didn’t he realize that he was literally the only significant person in Nico’s life that was safe from his father? Jason Grace could come out of this unscathed if he just left well enough alone. No matter how much Nico could use his help, it wasn’t worth Jason’s life. He had a future, and a bright one at that. He could go to Stanford and get a premium education and be with his sister and fall in love with a nice girl—or, if what Leo said earlier meant anything, a nice boy, but Nico didn’t want to think about that. He could go on to live a long and meaningful life.

So why was he doing this? Why would he risk all of that for Nico’s sake?

And, more importantly, what was Nico supposed to do about it?

Nico wanted to save his mother, he wanted to save her and go far away where his father would never find him.

But he wasn’t going to kill Jason to do it.

That left two options. Leave. Do exactly what he had considered earlier and never come back. Forget that Jason Grace ever existed and forget how he made Nico feel. Forget all of it.

Or stay, build up his strength, form a solid plan from the relative safety of Jason’s apartment, and try, _try_ with all of his might to ignore his attraction. Mute the issue with his mother in hopes that the blond boy would do the same.

The problem was that Nico couldn’t tell what the right choice was in this situation. His head told him to choose the former. Never see Jason again. Stop himself from developing permanent attachments to a transient person. But his heart—his heart screamed out in favor of the latter.

It… it wouldn’t hurt if he stayed just a little longer, right? Just to figure out how to reach his mother. Nothing more. That couldn’t hurt much in the long run, could it? Just for a few more weeks?

A few more weeks and then he swore he would leave.

_Just hold on a little longer, Mom. I haven’t forgotten you._


	6. Things Get More Complicated (Don't They Always?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to get this to you guys way earlier but then ended up having last minute plans. Oh well, better late than never right? I think you will all really enjoy this chapter. It's the most excited I've been about an update since the very first chapter.

So call Nico overly optimistic or something, but he had actually thought that his nightmares were going away. For the most part, he hadn’t had any of the dreams since moving in to Jason’s—he hated to think of it as moving in, but after being there for over two weeks it was beginning to seem that way—save for the occasional nightmare. And he’d been able to hide those from his roommate. Those were just little nightmares. Nico would get a low test grade and his father would punch him a few times, the muggers from the street would find him and this time they would use a knife. But Nico knew those weren’t real. He’d gasp awake in the night and often find his face wet with tears. Those, at least, were manageable nightmares.

But then, only three days after his little field trip to his old apartment, Nico was rocked with the most terrible nightmare he’d had in weeks.

It started off like many of his dreams. Hades, his father, screamed at him about something—It didn’t even matter what, everything set him off—and started to beat him. He shoved Nico to the ground, his head hitting the linoleum with a terrible cracking sound. Nico tried to stand, to get away, but then Hades started to kick him, over and over and over in the stomach. Nico couldn’t breathe. Spots danced across his vision. Pain overwhelmed him as Nico felt what must have been one of his ribs cracking under the strength of Hades’ kicks.

Yes, the beginning of an average nightmare. (Or a real-life Thursday afternoon, if his father was in the mood.)

Then things took a turn for the worse.

“Stop!” A girl screamed. Nico’s chest tightened with a new pain. _Bianca._

Hades turned to the sound, momentarily forgetting about Nico. Bianca lunged to attack her father, but Hades only grabbed her by the hair and yanked hard, slamming her head against the countertop. And then again. And again. Agonized screams tore out of Bianca’s throat.

“No! Stop it! You’ll kill her!” Nico screeched, trying in vain to draw his farther away from Bianca. Hades, much larger than his son, kicked him to the side.

“Then she won’t have to live to see what a little faggot you are,” Hades snarled. He slammed Bianca’s head down again, and she stopped screaming. Then he released her and let the girl drop to the floor.

But when Nico looked down, it wasn’t his sister’s dead body that he saw.

It was his his mother’s.

“You’re going to kill her, too, Nicky,” Hades said in a low, sickly amused voice, “You’re going to kill them all.”

 

…

 

Jason jolted awake to the sound of someone screaming.

For a moment he was horribly confused, until he realized the sound was coming from the other person in the room. Nico.

He practically fell out of his bed to get to the other boy, who was thrashing wildly and screaming. Hopefully Jason’s mom wasn’t home yet.

“Nico. Nico, wake up!” Jason urged as gently as he could, grabbing the sleeping boy by his shoulders and just barely shaking him. When that seemed to have little effect, he shook the boy harder. “Nico, you’re dreaming.”

Nico’s eyes flew open. He shot up so quickly that his forehead banged against the blond’s nose, eliciting a surprised yelp from the older boy. He moved back, rubbing his nose, and examined the horror-stricken face of Nico di Angelo. Even through the darkness he could see the terror in his roommate’s eyes and a face wet with tears.

“I—I’m sorry I woke you,” Nico mumbled, looking down. Jason leaned forward, cupping Nico’s cheek in his hand and rubbing the tears away without even thinking of it. The other boy stiffened briefly before seeming to soften, almost curling in to Jason’s touch.

“Don’t apologize. Bad dreams, I get it. You want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” whispered Nico, suddenly shoving away from Jason. “You can go back to sleep, seriously.” He tried to mask the quiver in his voice.

“What about you?” Jason asked.

“I’m fine. Stop worrying.”

“Well, I’m pretty much awake now. If you’re awake,” Jason shrugged. “And I know you’re not fine,” he added in a softer voice, “You don’t need to pretend that you are.”

“No,” the other boy growled, though Jason noticed the unsteadiness in his voice. Nico wouldn’t meet his eyes. “You don’t get it.”

“Hmm?”

“Bad dreams,” Nico mumbled. “You can’t even begin to understand. When you wake up, your nightmare is over and you can rest knowing it was just a really horrible dream. When I wake up Bianca is still dead and my mom is still in danger and I’m still this helpless little—” a new wave of tears stopped Nico short. He choked back a sob.

“Shh, it’s okay. Breathe,” Jason whispered, once again reaching for the other boy. His hands came down on Nico’s shoulders. He immediately tried to break away, but Jason wouldn’t release him.

“Let go of me, damn it!” Nico grumbled. Jason didn’t obey.

“Look, Nico, I told you I’m going to help you save your mom and I meant it. But it’s pretty hard for me to do anything with you pushing me away all the time. You don’t have to go through this alone.” Nico slumped forward and sighed in defeat.

“Alone is the only way I know.”

“Not anymore,” Jason breathed, his voice barely a whisper. Nico’s eyes met Jason’s in the darkness, studying him, almost. Then, surprising both Nico and himself, Jason pulled the dark haired boy toward him and enveloped him in a hug.

At first, Nico was stiff and unmoving, his arms awkward at his sides, almost as if he didn’t know what to do with them. Then, after a moment, as Jason began to pull away, Nico flung his arms around Jason and hugged him with a kind of force Jason had never felt the other boy use.

Jason returned the embrace, rubbing his hands up and down on Nico’s back and making small soothing noises. Nico had his face buried in the crook of Jason’s neck and the blond could feel the tears soaking through his shirt, but didn’t dare say anything. He had never seen this vulnerable side of Nico before, and part of Jason wondered if he would ever see it again.

“I’m scared Jason,” Nico admitted, pulling away from Jason’s neck slightly. “I—I hate feeling this way, but I can’t stop it. How am I going to save my mother? My dad never lets her out of his sight. And I—I could go to prison. I don’t want to go to prison. How can I help her if I’m in prison and what if it’s Bianca all over again and—” He abruptly stopped talking, drawing back and staring at me with teary eyes.

“Well, I sound pitiful. You still sure you want to get mixed up in my problems?” Nico asked hesitantly, attempting to sound light and joking but coming across as genuinely concerned.

“Nico, I’m not changing my mind. And you aren’t pitiful. Crying, being afraid, that just makes you human. I’m not going to abandon you for being human.”

Nico looked like he maybe wanted to hug Jason again, but he didn’t, so Jason just pulled the smaller boy back into his arms and ran his hands through that silky dark hair he always found himself staring at.

Okay, Jason needed to get a grip.

He was supposed to be comforting Nico, not thinking about his hair. Or their bodies pressed so tightly together. Or how easy it would be to lower his lips to Nico’s and—

_Damn it. Control yourself, Jason!_

After a few seconds Nico awkwardly broke away from Jason and let out a long, exasperated breath. Jason studied his face in the darkness, wondering if the last hug had been a step too far for the dark haired boy.

But then Nico just laid back down and stared almost dreamily up at the ceiling. “Tell me a story about you.”

“Hmm?” Jason inquired, his eyes following Nico’s every movement.

“I’m tired of talking about me. I’ve told enough sad Nico stories to last a lifetime. I don’t want to think about that right now. If I think about my family, I’m going to go insane. And, well, I don’t actually know much about you Jason. And I’m sure there’s more to Jason Grace than his probably vanilla but possibly secretly kinky book collection.”

Jason smiled into the darkness, moving to lie beside Nico on the floor. The blankets made it bearable, but Jason absently wondered if Nico was getting sick of sleeping on the ground. “Well, I must warn you, my stories aren’t awfully exciting. I’ve never saved the city from mutants or disabled a bomb or made any great scientific discoveries.”

“Well damn, you can just forget it then,” Nico teased. Despite his lighter tone, Jason knew Nico wasn’t okay. Not really. Jason’s tear stained shirt and Nico’s still uneven breathing said otherwise.

“I don’t know what story to tell,” Jason admitted.

“How did you get that scar on your lip?” Nico prompted.

Jason chuckled at the question and launched into the epic story of two-year old Jason and the stapler. He didn’t actually remember this day. Didn’t remember what had possessed him to try and eat a stapler. Didn’t remember the pain when he accidently sent a staple through his lip. However, despite this lack of memory, Thalia had told this story at least a thousand times. As Jason relayed it to Nico, he tried to tell it like Thalia had once told him, with humor and drama and the valiant Thalia Grace swooping in and saving the day (i.e. calling for their parents).

Although Jason lacked Thalia’s particular story telling gift, he did manage to make Nico laugh, even if just for a moment. Jason considered that a success.

“Your sister sounds cool,” the sixteen year old commented.

“Oh yeah, she’s great. I mean, things really fell apart with Mom after Dad died, with my mom and all. But Thalia stayed strong. She was only a senior in high school the same age I am now, and she was looking after me and trying to look after Mom, although she was already hopeless by then. Thalia graduated that year though. And then, you know, Stanford and all. It sucks not having her around.”

“Family,” Nico sighed.

“I feel pretty shitty complaining. You know, considering…” Jason trailed off.

“Now I know that is not your pity voice, Jason Grace.”

Jason bit his lip. He’d never wanted to kiss someone so badly in his entire life.

Nico, with a pensive look on his face, sat up and fixed his eyes on Jason.

“Can I, uh, ask you something? It’s a little… random.”

“Sure,” Jason replied without thinking.

“Remember last week when Leo showed up and you shoved me in your closet?”

“Yeah, I remember.” Of course he remembered forcing the gay kid into the closet. Not exactly his shining moment.

“Well, I heard you and Leo talking, just joking around or whatever and…” Nico paused. “He was teasing you... about all of the cute _guys_ at the party. And…” He never finished. _Shit._ Jason had hugged Nico and less than ten minutes later he was asking about Jason’s sexuality. He probably thought that Jason was some creepy gay who wanted to lure unsuspecting younger and emotionally distressed boys into his bed. The worst part was that the idea did hold some truth. Jason _was_ gay, and he wouldn’t _exactly_ mind Nico in his bed and…

_Stop. Stop. STOP._

Jason sat up as well. “I, uh, wondered if maybe you were curious about that. And I kept thinking of bringing it up, but how _does_ one bring it up? Like, you’re gay? That’s funny, me too. And I hope it doesn’t make you feel weird or anything because like, just because I’m gay and you’re gay doesn’t mean—” What was Jason even saying? “I just mean that I didn’t have some ulterior motive for letting you stay here and—”

“Talking is easier when you breathe, you know,” Nico smirked.

“Don’t be mad at me!” Jason blurted.

Nico gave him a puzzled look. “I’m not mad. That would be a pretty stupid thing to be mad about. And I know you’re not, uh, I know that you don’t want to—uh, with me. I mean, just because we’re both… gay, that doesn’t change anything.”

“Exactly,” Jason agreed, lying his ass off. It meant a million things. It meant that Jason was attracted to a gay guy, _more_ than attracted if he was being honest, and that it didn’t matter because even though Nico _was_ gay he had just declared—or, sort of declared—his trust in Jason that there was nothing more than friendly going on.

So basically, Jason was totally fucked.

 

…

 

After that, they laid back down and stared at the dark ceiling and talked about everything from Jason’s childhood to his job at Delphi to the time that he and Leo had accidently set fire to Leo’s kitchen. It was nice, Nico mused, to learn these things about Jason. These happy, stupid, yet interesting stories about his life.

Unfortunately, these little stories could not distract Nico from the electricity dancing across his skin at being so close to Jason. It couldn’t distract from Jason’s body heat moving in to Nico’s bones. It couldn’t distract from the way that accidental second long brushes against Jason sat with Nico for hours. And it couldn’t distract, even for a moment, from the revelation glaring Nico right in the face.

This boy, this blond, tall, gorgeous, generous, intelligent, compassionate, blue-eyed boy, was gay.

Jason Grace was gay and it didn’t matter because, gay or not, he existed so far out of Nico’s league that he resided in a different universe. The second Nico had questioned his sexuality, Jason wasted no time setting it straight (no pun intended) that his gayness did not mean he had feelings for Nico. For a panicked moment, Nico thought that Jason suspected Nico’s feelings, and he’d had to quickly save himself from complete rejection.

It shouldn’t have mattered so much. Even if Jason wasn’t light-years out of Nico’s league, there was still the glaring fact that Nico and _any_ one wouldn’t work. He couldn’t let himself feel those feelings, because someone else would get injured. Someone else _always_ got injured. Nico was poison. Like King Midas of Greek Mythology, except everything he touched turn to ash, not gold.

Everything he cared about got ruined beyond repair.

Nico thought of Luke, and shook the thought away quickly. He’d sworn to himself a long time ago to never think of Luke. Of what had happened to the beautiful Luke Castellan because he’d taken notice of foolish, fourteen year old Nico.

When Nico had told Jason about getting caught kissing Luke, he hadn’t been entirely truthful. He wondered what Jason would think of him if he knew the whole truth. Would he still want to hug and comfort Nico and be his friend? The thought made Nico shudder.

“You cold?” Jason whispered, turning on his side to examine Nico.

“No,” Nico replied. Jason’s eyes shone even in the darkness, so intense and blue that Nico felt like he was drowning in their depths. Jason wiggled closer to him, leaving maybe half a foot between the boys. They were so close now that Nico could feel Jason’s breath on his face.

Their eyes locked, and for one insane moment, Nico thought they were going to kiss. Then the tension broke and Jason rolled on to his back once again.

“You should try to sleep.”

“So should you,” Nico murmured.

“Not until you do.”

“Then you’re going to be up all night.”

“I’m lying here with you until you fall asleep,” Jason informed him.

“That’s stupid,” Nico mumbled. Maybe he _did_ feel a little sleepy with the comfort of Jason’s presence sinking into his bones.

“Shh, sleep.”

“I’m not tired,” Nico said, which would have sounded credible if he didn’t yawn halfway through.

“Sure you aren’t. How about I tell you a story about the time Thalia tried to glue me to the wall.”

Nico was sure it was an awesome story, but Jason’s voice, so smooth and low, was lulling him right to sleep. Nico wondered if maybe that had been Jason’s intention all along, and then the darkness took him.

He dreamed of cuddling with Jason.

 

…

 

Jason hadn’t _intended_ to fall asleep on the floor with Nico. At least, that’s what he told himself when his alarm suddenly jolted him awake the next morning and Jason found himself on his stomach cozied up _very_ close to Nico with an arm slung over the dark haired boy’s chest. Nico’s eyes shot open as well. “What the—” he exclaimed, tearing away from Jason between one breath and the next.

Shit. Had Jason and Nico been _cuddling?_ What was Jason thinking? He should have never let himself fall asleep on the floor like that. How was he going to fix this one?

“It would appear that I fell asleep on the floor,” Jason commented when he could apparently think of nothing else to say.

He thought Nico would comment on the snuggling incident, but judging by the blush on his face, Jason guessed Nico was not up for discussing it. “What happened to Mr. ‘I won’t sleep until you do’ or whatever?” The younger boy teased instead.

“Well, I didn’t fall asleep until you were snoring.”

“I don’t snore!” Nico protested, his face flaring a whole new shade of red that Jason found wildly appealing.

“Whatever you say,” Jason chuckled. And then it happened again, just like the previous night. The boys’ eyes met, everything stilled. Nico’s lips caught Jason’s attention briefly. He was biting it again, probably without even noticing. And for one second, only a second, Jason thought about leaning over and kissing Nico. God, how he wanted to.

The moment shattered, Nico looked away from Jason, shoulders tense. Jason let out a breath. He was completely losing his shit over this guy. He needed to get control of his feelings. And also, a cold shower. Yeah, one of those would be great.

“I guess I need to get ready for school, or whatever,” Jason announced, awkwardly standing and escaping to his bathroom.

 

…

 

In the days following Nico’s nightmare, there had been a strange atmosphere between him and Jason. And it could have been for any number of reasons.

Nico had completely embarrassed himself, crying all over Jason’s shirt. It wouldn’t be surprising if Jason didn’t look at Nico the same way now. Sure, Jason said it didn’t matter, but weren’t friends _supposed_ to say that? Then, of course, there had been the falling asleep incident on the floor. Nico had woken up cuddled against Jason’s side, which was mortifying to say the least. They hadn’t really talked about it, because why bother, right? They couldn’t control what their bodies did while they were sleeping. Except, Nico dreamed of cuddling Jason that night and then woke up actually cuddling him. Had Nico maneuvered himself under Jason’s arm and against Jason’s side while the two were asleep without even noticing it? Regardless, Jason seemed willing to ignore it, because, of course, he’d made it clear that he had no romantic interest in Nico.

Which brought Nico to reason number three for all of the newfound awkwardness. Jason Grace was gay. Yes, Nico may have suspected it before, after the Leo thing, but actually hearing Jason admit to it was a whole other animal. Here Nico was, trying very hard to not fall for this amazing guy, a battle which Nico had already been losing, and then Jason just had to go and be gay on top of that.

The days were more or less the same. Jason slept in his own bed—thank God—and went to school and to work and Nico would stay in his room and read whatever books Jason would recommend and try not to think about Jason or Luke or Bianca or his parents or anything other than the book on his lap. When Jason returned to the apartment he would work on homework and Nico would try not to openly stare at him while he worked. Mrs. Grace at some point would leave to go God only knew where, and then Nico would be free to move around the apartment, which was a nice break from being in such close proximity to Jason. Then Jason would cook dinner or order food and that would be that. Their conversations were awkward, a little more formal than they had been previously. Nowhere near as personal as they had been the night of Nico’s nightmare.

At least the nightmares had calmed back down to their usual horror of beatings and abuse. Until Thursday.

In the dream, Nico and Bianca were alone in their family’s apartment. Bianca was clothed in her favorite silver jacket—the same one that she died in, which Nico may have realized if he had immediately been aware he was dreaming, which he wasn’t—and they were just sitting in the living room and laughing.

It felt great to laugh with Bianca. Sometimes Nico felt like she was the only person that he could be truly happy around. And he was as happy as he was capable of being that night, playing board games with his sister and patting her on the head when she accused him of cheating.

“There is no way you won _again,_ Nicky! That’s not possible!”

“Oh, sister, did you ever consider that you just aren’t very good at Snakes and Ladders?” Nico teased.

“There’s nothing to _be_ good at. The whole game is luck!”

“Whatever you say, Bi.”

“You’re lucky I love you, little brother.” Bianca said, shaking her head and grinning.

And then the knife appeared in Nico’s hand.

“Nico, where’d you get that?” She whispered, eyes widening in fear.

But Nico couldn’t hear her. Or rather, he chose not to hear her. Instead, he closed his fingers around the handle with a smile.

“Nico?” Bianca breathed, her voice thin and afraid. “Nicky?”

Nico thrust the knife into her chest. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t hesitate. He just stabbed her. And he was in complete control.

He yanked back the blade and watched as his sister crumpled to the floor. As she died, the words of Nico’s father rattled around in his skull. _That’s what happens when you love someone too much. You love them until there’s nothing left of them to care about. Just a bloody corpse._

And then, finally realizing what he had done, Nico fell on top of his sister and began to scream.

 

 

…

 

Jason was awoken in the middle of the night, not for the first time, by the sound of Nico screaming.

Without thinking, Jason flung himself from the bed and kneeled beside the terrified teenager. “Wake up Nico, wake up,” he urged, shaking the boy gently. “Wake up, you’re safe.”

He switched the lamp on. “Wake up!” He repeated.

Nico’s eyes flew open and the boy shot up so quickly his head nearly collided with Jason’s, like it had after his last nightmare. His breathing was ragged and he had a hand clutching at his hair. Jason noticed tears in the corner of Nico’s eyes.

“Sorry, bad dream,” Nico gasped after a few seconds.

Jason wanted to point out that something that made you scream like that was more than just a bad dream, but Nico didn’t seem like he wanted to hear it. “What did I tell you about apologizing?” He sighed.

“You should go back to sleep. You have school in the morning.”

Jason did look at the clock then. Three in the morning. “I got four hours, I’m fine. If you’re not going to sleep, I’m not either. Are _you_ going back to sleep?”

Nico shook his head.

Jason stood up. “Then it’s settled. Now follow me,” he offered a hand to Nico.

“Where are you going?” Nico asked, looking skeptically at Jason’s waiting hand.

“To make hot chocolate. It makes everything better.”

Nico gave what almost passed for a smile and accepted Jason’s offer. Nico’s hand was cold but soft, and Jason may have held on for a second too long once the other boy was standing. Nico, noticing this, reddened and tore his hand away, looking anywhere but at Jason.

And, not for the first time over the past several days, Jason wondered if maybe Nico liked him more than he was letting on.

 

…

 

“She’s not here,” Jason announced after checking his mother’s bedroom. He hadn’t actually expected her to be, but had checked nonetheless. The last thing he needed was his drunken mother waltzing out of her bedroom in the middle of the night to find a strange teenage boy drinking hot chocolate in the kitchen with her son.

“Okay,” Nico said from the kitchen table. His entire body was tense, like he hadn’t really shaken off the feeling of his nightmare yet. Jason wanted to ask about it, but knew that Nico wouldn’t answer. If he wanted to talk about it, then he would.

Nico di Angelo was not much for sharing.

“So, I’m guessing you are also a master hot chocolate chef?” Nico asked, standing and crossing to where Jason currently stood in the middle of the kitchen.

Jason smiled at him, “I guess you could say that. The powder I use is where the magic really comes from though, not me.”

“Uh huh,” Nico gave a half-hearted smirk. Neither of them said anything as Jason set a pot of water to boil and fished the glass jar full of chocolate powder out of one of the cabinets.

“So, you’re not going to ask?” Nico inquired as Jason finished. “What happened to curious Jason?”

He didn’t need to ask what Nico was referring to. “I figured you wanted to keep it to yourself.”

Another pause in conversation. And then, “It was Bianca’s death, but it wasn’t. In the dream it was—I was the one who stabbed her.”

Jason turned to look at Nico, who hung his head in shame. He couldn’t see the boy’s face, just a mess of dark hair.

“Oh, Nico,” Jason’s sighed sadly.

“Don’t. I know I didn’t really kill her. But it felt so real…”

When the kettle started to whistle, Jason poured the steaming water in to two cups and stirred in the powder. Then, while it cooled, Jason retrieved the whipped cream and mini-marshmallows.

“You’re going all out,” Nico commented.

“Were you expecting anything less?” Jason replied with a smirk.          

“Don’t get cocky, I haven’t tried it yet.” In response, Jason held up a cup for Nico.

Nico raised an eyebrow and accepted the mug, placing both hands on it. “It’s hot,” he said.

“Cups of steaming liquid usually are,” Jason joked, picking up his own mug.

“Shut up,” Nico mumbled, lifting the cup to his mouth and blowing on the beverage inside. And Jason _totally_ didn’t watch him do it because that would be creepy and Jason wasn’t thinking about his huge crush on Nico while Nico did something as innocent as blowing on a hot drink. He wasn’t.

Jason leaned in expectantly as Nico brought the cup to his lips and took a sip. His eyes widened, “Shit, this _is_ good.”

“I mean, it doesn’t scare away the nightmares or anything, but it’s pretty good at cheering people up,” Jason offered, leaning back against the counter and watching Nico drink. When he realized that staring probably made him creepy, he reached for his own cup.

The boys sat down at the kitchen table, joking lightly while drinking their beverages. Jason even earned a few smiles from the other boy, which made him feel even warmer than the cocoa.

“When you were a kid, what did you want to be?” Jason prompted.

“What did _you_ want to be?” Nico questioned.

“Nope, I asked first.”

“Mine is pretty lame…”

Jason leaned forward, sitting his elbows on the table and resting his chin on his hands. “Now you _have_ to tell me.”

“Uh, I wanted to be Wolverine… from X-Men. Or Gandalf from Lord of the Rings.”

Jason laughed. “I don’t know which one to ask about first.”

“Shut up. They were both badass and you know it.” Nico had started blushing again. That was one thing that continued to surprise Jason—how easy it was for Nico’s face to flush red.

“Were? They still are.”

“And what did you want to be?” Nico inclined an eyebrow.

“I wanted to be a zombie-slaying rocket scientist. Don’t ask, I was six and ambitious.”

“And what about now? Now what do you want to do?”

_Kiss you,_ Jason almost said. Instead he just nodded at Nico’s cup and rose to his feet. “You finished?”

Nico glanced down at the cup. “Yeah.”

Jason bent to retrieve it, getting distracted along the way at the sight of some whipped cream resting unnoticed by Nico above his lip. Without thinking about it, Jason swiped his finger across the skin, cleaning off the cream. He brought the finger to his lips and licked it away.

“You had whipped cream on your face,” he mumbled as an excuse.

Nico glanced up at Jason, and it happened again. The moment of eye contact. The strange electric feeling in the air. Jason was still bent slightly, his face less than a foot from Nico’s. He waited for Nico to look away, but those dark eyes didn’t wander. Jason fought back a shudder.

And even though there were a million and ten warning bells going off in Jason’s mind, he couldn’t hear them anymore. Slowly, giving the other boy plenty of time to stop him, or turn away, or breathe a single word of protest, Jason leaned in further, until his lips connected with Nico’s.

Nico, perhaps too surprised to react, stayed still as Jason pressed their mouths together. A chaste kiss. A gentle movement of lips against each other. Jason’s hand rested softly on Nico’s cheek. His lips were warm, soft, and tasted of hot chocolate. The kiss may have been simple and small, but Jason was in heaven. How many times had he dreamed of doing this over the past two weeks? And then, not wanting to completely send the boy into shock, Jason pulled away several inches, probably smiling like an idiot.

“That,” he explained softly, biting his lip and looking down at Nico, who stared up at him in utter confusion. “That was what I wanted to do.”

“Oh,” Nico whispered, so low that Jason could barely hear. _“Oh.”_

Based off of the color of his face and the lack of yelling, Jason knew he’d been right. This thing, whatever it was… Nico felt it, too.

He was back to worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, and Jason couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like if those were _his_ teeth tugging on Nico’s lips. Those lips that had just been pressed against Jason’s.

Jason needed to kiss him again. Nico was too alluring for his own good, with the face flushing and the lip chewing and the nervous look he was now giving Jason.

“I, uh…” Nico started. And then just, “Oh.” Jason wondered if Nico could process any other words in his mind. Apparently, he’d never in a thousand years expected Jason to kiss him. Even though Jason felt like he’d been fairly obvious, especially as of late.

Then, unable to help himself, Jason leaned in closer, so much that his lips were practically brushing over Nico’s skin as he whispered, “I’m going to kiss you again, okay?” He waited patiently for a second. The last thing Jason wanted to do was freak Nico out.

And then Nico let out a short, uneven breath, and Jason closed the gap between their mouths.

 

…

 

Nico was half convinced he was still asleep. Why else would Jason Grace be kissing him? Running his fingers through Nico’s dark hair. Holding him close. Moving his lips against Nico’s like Nico was some particularly precious treasure.

It just didn’t make sense.

And Nico was lost—drowning in the best kind of way, clinging to Jason like he was the only thing keeping Nico afloat.

Yes, whether or not he wanted to admit it, Nico had _definitely_ imagined kissing Jason before. And it was nothing like this. Nico actually doubted his mind could be generating this. Nico couldn’t be nearly this creative.

But he _had_ to be dreaming. That was the only way he could explain Jason kissing him.

And then Jason Grace opened his mouth, and Nico didn’t care anymore whether he was dreaming or not.

_Holy shit._

Jason’s tongue slid over Nico’s lips, eliciting a small gasp from the younger boy. Jason did it again. This time, Nico parted his lips for Jason, allowing the kiss to deepen.

The chaste kissing had ended, right along with Nico’s ability to form a coherent thought.

_This_ was kissing. Sure, Nico and Luke had been hot and heavy back in the day, with the roaming hands and the curious tongues, but kissing Jason was a completely different thing. Nico felt weightless and impossibly heavy at the same time. He wasn’t sure where to put his hands, he wanted them _everywhere._ Jason’s hair, Jason’s neck, Jason’s arms. Nico wanted to touch it all.

Jason’s hands found their way to Nico’s waist, and now the blond was tugging him up from his chair and straight into Jason’s embrace. Nico couldn’t remember feeling that short beside Jason, but he noticed it now. Nico was just around five feet seven inches, and Jason easily had six inches on him. Easily.

That didn’t seem to deter the taller boy though, who was eagerly bending over Nico and exploring his mouth. Nico had settled for curling his fists into Jason’s t-shirt and standing on his toes which was fine until somehow they bumped the table and Nico’s empty mug fell to its death, shattering over the kitchen floor.

Nico and Jason both looked down at the broken pieces and to Nico’s surprise, Jason actually laughed.

“Well, oops,” he mumbled, leaning in and recapturing Nico’s lips.

“Shouldn’t we um, clean that?” Nico asked, pulling away.

“We will… later,” Jason assured, bringing Nico flush against him and kissing him again and again and again.

Nico smiled suddenly. Jason cared more about making out than cleaning potentially dangerous broken glass. Hell, if this had been Nico’s old apartment, his father would have—

His father.

It was then that he realized that he was actually, truly awake.

This definitely wasn’t a dream.

He was definitely kissing Jason.

And that was _definitely_ a problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmm what a fun place to leave you, yes? I guess you'll have to wait to see what happens! *evil laughter*
> 
> Friendly reminder that you can contact me on Tumblr at nephilimgirlbooks.tumblr.com or on fanfiction.net as Carlee Adison. And if you find yourself looking for more Jasico between now and next Friday, I suggest Never Let Me Go by XTheSonOfHadesX on fanfiction.net. He also has really great Percico fics that you can find on FF and now on here as well :)
> 
> SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!


	7. Everyone Makes Mistakes (The Question Is When)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to update this earlier but got caught up with adding stuff. I wrote this chapter 4 months ago and realized some stuff I'd written here didn't really fit with the characters so it had to be fixed. That being said, here it is! Better late than never. I'd also like to take a moment to say that no matter what happens in Blood of Olympus (WHICH COMES OUT TUESDAY OH MY GODS) I will not stop writing this story.

Jason was in the middle of wondering if if life could get any better than making out with Nico when the kiss suddenly broke—Nico’s arms shoving them apart.

“We should stop,” the younger boy blurted, not meeting Jason’s eyes.

Jason struggled not to look like a wounded puppy. “We should?” He attempted light humor. No luck. Was Jason a bad kisser? Was Nico not into it at all? He’d _acted_ into it just a minute ago.

“I’m tired,” Nico stated, but he didn’t _look_ tired. Not the kind of tired that could be fixed by sleep, anyway. “And we should clean up the mug…”

“We should talk about what just happened,” Jason said, still trying to process it himself.

“In the morning, okay? I’m just tired. And I need to think.”

Jason wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that, but nonetheless conceded, “Yeah, okay. In the morning. I’ll clean, you go sleep.”

 

…

 

Nico had no intention of talking about it in the morning.

Or ever, for that matter.

He laid on the floor for over an hour and waited to be sure Jason was asleep, all the while beating himself up over what had transpired.

How the hell had all this happened? Jason wasn’t supposed to reciprocate Nico’s feelings. Out of all the outcomes Nico could have anticipated, Jason initiating a kiss with Nico certainly wasn’t one of them. What could Jason have even seen in Nico? Nothing. Nothing other than convenience. That was the only reasonable explanation, right? Nico was right there, he slept in Jason’s room, he was gay. Jason must have just seen Nico as easy. He _must_ have. And hadn’t Nico just proved that to be true? He hadn’t had a single problem with throwing himself at Jason. Oh wow, how fucking stupid could Nico be?

There was no way, no way in hell, heaven, or earth, that Jason _actually_ had feelings for Nico. Luke—Luke had been unlikely enough, a miracle even, and what were the odds of another one of those? Zero, that’s what.

Guys like _that_ didn’t just go after guys like Nico.

And if they did, well…

_Poor Luke._

Nico could never let anything like that ever happen again. And not to Jason. Especially not to Jason.

Jason, who had shown Nico kindness when no one else would. Who had trusted and believed in Nico wholeheartedly from the night he found him. Who had allowed Nico to stay in his home.

And it didn’t even matter anymore.

Because Nico had to leave.

Staying was a mistake. Nico had known it all along. Known he couldn’t stay. And yet, he’d allowed himself to get comfortable here. He’d tricked himself into thinking that maybe, just maybe, things could turn around for him. That he had a friend in Jason.

And then his feelings crept in and fucked everything up.

Didn’t they always?

When Jason had been sleeping for probably half an hour or so, Nico rose from his makeshift bed on the floor.

The talk with Jason in the morning was never going to happen because Nico would be gone before Jason woke up.

His old aviator jacket, the only piece of clothing Nico had ever cared about, rested on Jason’s desk chair. Nico hadn’t had much use for it while staying here, save for the one field trip last week, but he would need it now. Late February in New York could be freezing during the night. Hell, Nico of all people knew how cold it could get out there.

Nico also exchanged the clothing he’d been wearing—the basketball shorts he slept in that had at some point belonged to Leo and one of the black t-shirts purchased by Jason—for the clothes he’d arrived in. Jason had washed the clothes at least, so the dirt that previously marred the black denim and the shirt was now gone. Nico shoved his hand into his jacket pocket, his fingers ghosting over the worn leather bracelet given to him by his grandfather on his mother’s side. Nico appreciated the gift, even if the bracelet was too big for his wrist, and always kept it close by. It was all he had left of him, after all.

Taking a deep breath, Nico’s eyes fell on Jason, fast asleep in his bed. Despair waged a war inside of his chest. For the best or not, Nico was going to miss Jason. A lot. More than he’d like to think about.

He’d miss the teasing. The companionship. The comfort. He’d miss the way Jason’s eyes lit up when he talked about books. He’d miss Jason’s smile, with the little scar above his lip serving as the only imperfection on his face.

He’d miss Jason’s _cooking._

God, he wasn’t even going to _think_ about the kiss. The fucking amazing kiss.

And wow, did Nico ever feel like an asshole. Because here he was, about to duck out without even thanking Jason one last time for all that he’d done… all the risks he had taken for Nico. But this was the way it should be.

It was easier for both of them this way.

_Easier for Jason? Or just you?_ A persistent annoying little voice in Nico’s mind asked.

Unwilling to entertain the thought, Nico turned and left the room. He would just walk out, simple as ripping off a band-aid.

He crept down the hall. Still no sign that Mrs. Grace had returned home, and the sun would be rising soon. _Poor Jason._

Much to his frustration, Nico hesitated at the door.

Where would he go? How was he going to get to his mother? What was his plan?

_Figure it out later, Nico,_ he chastised.

Maybe he could start with trying to find Tyson. Tyson was okay company, if not a little slow. It was a start, at least.

He opened the door.

“Nico?” A voice behind him asked groggily. Jason.

_Damn it._

 

…

 

Jason had never been a deep sleeper. Whenever Leo would spend the night, Jason would always yell at him every time the other boy so much as wiggled his toes.

So, of course, the sound of feet moving across his bedroom floor and the slightest squeaking of his bedroom door roused him. Jason opened his eyes to find an empty bedroom. He tried not to assume the worst.

_Maybe Nico’s just getting a glass of water._

But then Jason noticed that Nico’s aviator jacket was also gone.

And panicked.

He rose quickly, wasting no time crossing the room throwing open the same door he’d just heard creaking. Jason made his way down the hall, the pounding of his heart louder than his footsteps.

He stepped into the living room to find Nico opening the apartment door. Jason immediately felt like throwing up.

“Nico?” He asked uncertainly, suddenly wondering if he could be dreaming.

_Please be a dream,_ he prayed.

Nico turned around slowly, guilt clear on his face.

“Going somewhere?” Jason asked, feeling his stomach drop to his toes. Yeah, throwing up sounded quite probable.

“I—I was just—”

“Running away?” Jason supplemented.

The hurt and surprise drained right out of him, replaced with a rage Jason hadn’t felt so strongly since his father’s death. Betrayal.

“You weren’t supposed to wake up,” Nico sighed, not meeting Jason’s eyes. He closed the door gently behind him.

“What is this, Nico? You were just going to leave without saying goodbye? Really?” While they were kissing, call Jason crazy but he had really felt something. He thought Nico felt it too. Apparently all the other boy had felt was a desire to leave.

_That_ didn’t hurt Jason’s confidence or anything…

“Jason, I—”

“Who _does_ that? I mean, I know you don’t really have much experience with friends, but this is _not_ how it works.”

Nico cringed. Jason tried not to pity him. “It’s time for me to go, Jay. Just let me—”

Jason laughed. “Like hell! Talk about it in the morning? Was ducking out your idea of _talking?_ You know what, whatever Nico. I’m sorry that kissing me was _that_ terrible.”

“Jason, _stop,_ ” Nico pleaded. “I’m doing what is best.”

“That’s a lie! You’re running away from your problems, that’s what you’re doing. Running away from anyone who wants to help you, hell anyone who _gives a shit_ about you because you’re afraid. I’m not going to end up like Bianca, Nico!”

“Jason—”

“Just answer one question, _one question._ Was I wrong in assuming that you wanted to kiss me?”

Nico still wouldn’t look at him. “No, you weren’t wrong,” he mumbled. Then, louder: “But that didn’t mean it was a good idea, Jason! This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen! It complicates things and now I can’t stay here anymore. And I wish I could, I really do. But it’s impossible.”

Jason started toward Nico, unable to stand back any longer. “Things are already complicated,” he said when he was just over a foot away from the other boy.

“You shouldn’t have kissed me.”

“I wanted to. I like you,” Jason admitted, which felt like a massive understatement.

This finally made Nico look at him. “No, you don’t. Maybe you think you do, but you don’t. And I’m not going to let you put your life at risk because you _think_ you have feelings for me.” The notion was absolutely ridiculous. _Think_ that he likes Nico? Jason was long past the thinking stage. No, he was crazy about this boy. Absolutely crazy.

“Wanna bet?”

“You’ll realize it once I’m gone.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Jason informed him. And he meant it. He wasn’t letting Nico run off because he was afraid of his feelings. Jason already knew what he needed to know. Nico had wanted the kiss too. Nico liked him, at least in some capacity. That was good enough for Jason.

“Come on, Jason. Look at me, then look at you. Once the thrill of hiding me in your room wears off, you’ll realize that you’re about a zillion miles out of my league and I would honestly rather not sit around and wait for that to happen. Not to mention that the longer I do sit here, the better chance you have of getting discovered by my father.”

_Whoa whoa whoa._

_Nico_ was out of _Jason’s_ league? 

Jason was boring, vanilla, just like Nico always teased. Nico was a hero, protecting his mother and sister growing up even though he was just a scared kid, making jokes and laughing even after being rocked by tragedy, carrying on so strongly even after the loss of his sister. Why wouldn’t Jason lo— _like_ him?

Jason nearly screamed in frustration. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“You know it’s true. Straight… gay… it honestly doesn’t make a difference. At the end of the day I’m still going to like you way more than you like me and if I leave now I’ll save you the hassle of kicking me out later and maybe even save your life, so you’re welcome.” Nico went back to looking everywhere except at Jason.

“You’re not some burden I’m forced to carry, Nico. Stay, just stay.”

Nico is silent for a moment. “I lied to you about Luke.”

That took Jason by surprise. “Luke?”

“The boy that my dad caught me kissing. He was like you, sorta. Tall, blond, really likable. A nice guy. When my father saw us he—I told you he beat the shit out of me. And he did, but that isn’t the whole truth. I wasn’t the one in the hospital. Luke was.”

Jason was silent.

“Luke was trying to be brave, I know he was. But my dad just wouldn’t stop punching him. He wasn’t really trying to punish Luke, he was doing it to hurt me. And then my father took out a pocket knife—I didn’t even know he had one—and—” Nico’s voice wavered, “he slashed down the side of Luke’s face with it. An injury that would never disappear. A scar that Luke has to look at every single day and remember how he got it. The only thing he ever did wrong was like me. Don’t you get it, Jason?” His voice was even more desperate. “Nothing good comes from caring about me.”

Jason understood. He understood why Nico wanted to run, why he feared getting close to anyone. Nico’s life was a never ending circle of pain. He watched people close to him get hurt again and again. And it hurt him. Nico di Angelo was tired of hurting. And he would say almost anything to keep Jason away.

Yes, Jason understood. But that didn’t mean he was ready to accept it.

“I’m sorry to hear about what happened to Luke. That must have been awful. God, I can’t even imagine. I hate your father so much. And no matter what I do, I’m going to see to it that he faces justice. Okay, Nico? He’s not going to hurt me, I’m going to hurt _him_.”

“You don’t know my father.”

“I know you, though. And I know that there is no way, absolutely _no_ way that I’m letting you walk out that door. Because losing you scares me a lot more than facing your father does.” Jason had moved even closer to Nico, placing his hands on the door on either side of the younger boy’s head. Nico was trapped between the door and Jason, and Jason wondered how much longer he could go without trying to kiss the dark haired boy again.

“You’re so stupid,” Nico whispered, “So, so, so incredibly stupid.” In spite of his words, he reached up and wound his arms loosely around Jason’s neck. “You’re not supposed to be okay with all of this.”

“All of what?”

“My life. All the shit that happens. But nothing seems to scare you away.”

Jason smiled, “Well then I guess you’ll just have to accept that I’m not going anywhere.” He lowered his face until he and Nico seemed to be sharing breaths. “And neither are you.”

“You’re going to regret this.”

“Oh, I really doubt that.” And then Jason closed the gap between their lips.

Jason started the kiss slowly, removing his hands from the door and cupping Nico’s face as their mouths moved together.

“Jason,” Nico mumbled, either in warning or out of pleasure. It was difficult to tell when muffled by Jason’s lips.

“Shh, no more worrying tonight.” Jason whispered. “Just you and me.”

Nico’s traced the shape of Jason’s shoulders with shaky, hesitant fingers. “I don’t know about this,” he whispered.

“Nothing is certain in life, right? We just have to enjoy the time we’re given.”

“You just won’t give up on this, will you?” If Jason didn’t know better, he’d almost say Nico was smirking.

“I don’t want to. And I think,” he added, stealing a quick kiss from the younger boy, “that you don’t want to either.” Jason’s hands slid down Nico’s torso, grasping at his narrow hips and pulling their bodies closer.

“Stay,” he pleaded softly, letting his forehead rest against Nico’s. “Don’t leave me.”

Nico nodded slightly, his hands suddenly tightening on Jason’s shoulders. Between one second and the next, the dark haired boy’s hands were on the back of Jason’s neck and they were kissing again.  

This kiss didn’t take nearly as long to escalate as the earlier ones. Nico’s hands roamed up into Jason’s hair while Jason completely wrapped him into an embrace. Jason swept his tongue across Nico’s bottom lip, asking for permission to do what he’d wanted to do since the second they’d stopped earlier. The shorter boy made a whimpering sound and allowed Jason access, his fingers tightening in the blond’s hair.

Once, when Jason was a kid, he’d had the brilliant idea of sticking one of his sister’s hair pins in a light socket. Predictably, he’d electrocuted himself. Thalia laughed afterwards and started calling him Sparky. Even after all these years, Jason still remembered how it felt to have the electricity coursing through his body. It’d hurt marvelously, but it also made Jason feel alive.

That electricity he felt as a child was nothing compared to kissing Nico, though. This was a different kind of current. A stronger one, and it didn’t hurt at all. Quite the opposite.

“Holy shit,” Nico breathed against Jason’s lips, matching his thoughts exactly. He ran his hands up and down Nico’s sides under his jacket, drinking in the feeling of the other boy’s body. Then the jacket was being tossed to the side. Jason’s hand returned to Nico’s sides, holding him like Nico would disappear if Jason released him even for a second.

Jason pushed Nico back against the door, his thumbs grazing the thin stretch of skin peaking out between the top of Nico’s jeans and the bottom of his shirt.

“Is—is this okay?” He whispered. Because, of course, somehow Jason had gotten carried away all over again. Nico had that power. Start kissing and BAM! There goes Jason’s common sense.

“Mmmhm,” Nico hummed, his hands following a path down Jason’s back, around to his waist, and up to his shoulders again. “Is this real?” He mumbled, probably more to himself than to Jason, but the blond answered anyway.

“Well, I certainly hope so,” he shared, bringing his mouth to Nico’s mouth once again. Tongues collided, hands explored, and Jason drifted away to a whole other dimension.

He could barely control himself. The last—and third ever—boy Jason had made out with was Mitchell, Piper’s cousin, at some McLean family reunion last summer. It hadn’t been serious. None of them had. The first guy was an experiment, the second guy was probably a mistake, and Mitchell, well… he was there. Jason was there. Why not, right?

But this was different. None of them had ever felt like this.

Jason didn’t want to stop kissing Nico. He wanted to kiss him until he ran out of breath and then kiss him even longer. And it was crazy. Absolutely fucking crazy. Because who would have ever thought that Nico di Angelo, the quiet creepy kid from school turned suspected murderer, would make Jason feel so incredible?

This sixteen year old, short, skinny, black haired, pale, tired looking boy had Jason right in the palm of his hand. God, those hands. Apparently, whatever qualms Nico had previously had about physical contact with Jason had disappeared. The dark haired boy practically curled into Jason’s touch, like a particularly adorable kitten. No, adorable was not the word to describe Nico right now. The kissing, the hands, those little sounds he was making. That was _sexy_. Sexy as hell. And Jason wasn’t trying to move so quickly, but the way Nico felt flush against him had the strange ability to make him throw caution to the wind.

Jason was moving into the dangerous territory of getting turned on.

“Wanted to do this… so badly,” Jason admitted between kisses. “I like you so much.”

“Maybe,” Nico mused, his lips brushing Jason’s as he spoke, “We should get off of the door.”

Jason chuckled. “That might be a good idea.” He retrieved Nico’s jacket and handed it back to him, stealing another kiss and interlocking their fingers. Nico let him. Without fully releasing him, Jason led Nico back to his—their?—bedroom, planting small kisses on Nico’s face the whole way. He couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to.

Nico was— _Nico._

And while Jason was fully aware that that made next to no sense, he could describe the boy in no other way. Not just attractive or brave or funny or thoughtful or selfless or any lone quality. Simply, Nico.

Jason opened the bedroom door and eagerly guided the other boy inside. Then Jason pulled Nico close for—no surprise—another deep, lingering kiss. They moved blindly through the room, neither quite sure where they were even going anymore. It wasn’t until the backs of Nico’s knees crashed into the bed that he tensed up. Jason, sensing the other boy’s sudden apprehension, eased up on the kissing. “Too much?”

Nico’s face turned bright red. A shade somewhere between candy apple and fire truck. Jason found it incredibly endearing.  “This is just—surreal I guess. Sorry.”

“I wasn’t going to do anything inappropriate,” Jason assured. He looked down at the blushing Nico, “Well, not anything _really_ inappropriate.”

To Jason’s surprise, the boy laughed. “I’m sure you wouldn’t… _Vanilla_.”

“That sounds an awful lot like a challenge to me, Nico.” He teased, even though there was truth behind Nico’s words. Jason was such a virgin it wasn’t even funny. There were probably little gay middle schoolers out there getting more action. He fell back onto the bed, dragging Nico down on top of him.

“Jay—” Nico stuttered awkwardly, “I—I’m not—”

Now it was Jason’s turn to laugh. “Relax Nico, I meant what I said earlier. I get that you don’t want to rush into things. If it means you’ll stay, we could be just friends.” His lips curled into a mischievous smile, “I’m not saying I want to be just friends but… it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. Or, you know, we could make out some more because, wow, you look really good right now.”

“Shut up,” Nico said, rolling his eyes and getting off of Jason—much to his disappointment. “You’re ridiculous.”

“What?” Jason smiled sitting up and kissing the younger boy’s cheek, “You do. _Really_ good.”

“You’re genuinely crazy. Now you like me _and_ think I look good? Did I lose track of time? Is it April 1st already?”

Jason wiggled closer to Nico, placing his chin on the boy’s shoulder. “Are you really going to make me sit here and tell you everything about you that I like? Because that’s pretty embarrassing.” Mainly embarrassing because Jason could literally go on forever. He would make a complete ass of himself. Nico gave him a sideways glance.

 “Jesus, you’re going to make me, aren’t you?”

“Well, I mean, it’s just… I’m trying to figure out what you could possibly see in me and I’m coming up blank.” Nico looked at his hands. This _really_ bothered him, apparently. Jason could tell by his sudden stiff posture, the way he couldn’t meet Jason’s eyes, the way he let his hair hide his face. And Jason suddenly didn’t care if he sounded like the biggest idiot in all of Manhattan.

“What I could _possibly_ see in you? Nico, you are probably the most interesting person I’ve ever met. If most people had to go through what you have, it would wreck them. But you?” He pressed a soft kiss to the boy’s shoulder, “You don’t let that stuff keep you down. You can joke around and live your life and still be so driven and loyal to your mother. I wish I could be half as good as you are. You’re brave and funny and smart, you know mythology better than I do and you’ve never even taken the class. Seriously, how is that fair? And you challenge me and tease me and I don’t know… I just feel more alive, I guess. I’m not just living some mundane existence. And maybe you think that it’s a bad thing, or that I’m taking stupid risks, but I don’t see it that way. I like being around you, _a lot._ I tried not to like you that way, I really did. But, let me tell you, it’s fucking impossible. I know we’ve only really known each other for a few weeks, but it feels like I’ve known you for years. I’ve never wanted to kiss somebody so badly in my entire life, do you know that?”

Nico looked like he wanted to interrupt but Jason kept talking. “Do you not even have any idea at all how crazy you’ve been driving me with your stupid little smirks? It’s so appealing and you don’t even know it! And don’t get me started on that look you get in your eyes when I _know_ you’re about to tease me. That look you’re giving me right now! Hey!” Jason shoved him away. Nico laughed.

“Sorry,” he apologized, biting back a smile. “You’re kind of a dork.”

It was Jason’s turn to blush. “Well I don’t hear you streaming out a list of reasons why _you_ like _me,_ ” he commented, cupping Nico’s face in his hands. Nico pushed his hands away with a mortified look on his face.

“You have to even ask?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m starting to think there’s nothing wrong with you,” Nico admitted. “Other than your incurable hero complex and horrible taste in guys, of course. You’re just so—perfect. Scarily perfect.”

“I thought I was a dork?” Jason teased. _Perfect? He thinks_ I’m _perfect?_

“You _are_ a dork. You know, I remember seeing you at school and always writing you off. Typical guy, does well in school, attractive, tall, pretty girlfriend, has everything figured out. And now that I know you, I see I was wrong about you on so many levels. And the fact that you don’t even care, you’d rather live in your novels and hang out with some middle-aged bookseller, or even choose some loser like me rather than go to a party…” His blush was so bright that he covered his face and didn’t finish.

“Stop being so cute and ridiculous.” Jason couldn’t help himself. He pulled Nico against him and kissed him manically. Nico showed no hesitation, throwing his arms around Jason and accepting the embrace fully. They went on like that until Nico needed to catch his breath.

“Cute?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Really cute,” Jason smirked.

“I think I could get used to this,” he mumbled while Jason moved his lips down to Nico’s neck. Jason left kisses all over Nico’s skin there, alternating between simple kisses and more intense ones. Nico groaned, balling his fists in Jason’s shirt. Said shirt was definitely going to have wrinkles from where Nico was grabbing at it, and the thought made Jason oddly thrilled.

“I don’t think you’re a loser, by the way,” Jason whispered, his mouth now inches from Nico’s ear.

Nico turned and placed his mouth on Jason’s. They kissed for so long that Jason’s lips actually _hurt._ At some point they had ended up laying down on the bed, completely wrapped up in each other. Jason would have been happy to keep kissing Nico until his lips went numb, but when Nico yawned Jason knew it was time to call it a night.

“Go to sleep, Nico.”

“What is sleep?” He whispered against the blond’s mouth.

“Come on, you know you’re tired,” Jason said patiently.

“I feel completely awa—” he stopped mid-sentence to yawn again. “Okay. Fine,” Nico frowned, starting to get up.

“Where are you going?” Jason inquired, his fingers locking around the other boy’s wrist.

“To bed?”

Jason pulled Nico back down onto his bed. “But you’re already here,” he smirked.

“I don’t cuddle,” Nico said.

“Oh, I think you do,” Jason grinned. “Besides, how else will I know if you try to run away the second I fall asleep again?”

He meant it as a joke, but Nico looked at him with complete seriousness. “I won’t.”

“Good, because I’m not ready to let you go,” Jason stated boldly. “And, speaking of which…” he wrapped his arms around the boy and pulled him closer.

“You have got to be the most stubborn person in the world,” Nico pouted, determined to act like he didn’t want to sleep beside Jason. Which he might have believed if Nico wasn’t snuggling closer to Jason’s body as he spoke.

“Second most,” Jason amended, kissing the other boy on the cheek.

“Well I’m not going to sleep if you keep doing that,” Nico mumbled.

“Sorry,” Jason whispered, adjusting himself and Nico into a comfortable while still cuddly sleeping position that had Nico tucked adorably against Jason’s side, his arms loosely holding the dark haired boy. “You can sleep now.” It occurred to him that Nico still wore the jeans and shirt he’d put on earlier—the ones Jason had found him in—but Nico was already half asleep.

“Jay,” Nico mumbled.

“Yes, Nico?”

“For what it’s worth… I like you, too.”

Jason smiled. “Are you trying to make me kiss you again?”

“G’night Jay,” he breathed, his head resting on Jason’s chest.

“Sleep well, Nico.”

 

…

 

Nico was developing a very healthy loathing for the sound of Jason’s alarm.

Jason—the owner of the phone currently blaring sound, and the person who had his arms around Nico—groaned loudly, fumbling to silence it.

Nico didn’t know if he wanted to open his eyes yet. Part of him worried that everything that had happened over the course of the night hadn’t actually happened, hell, maybe not even the last two and a half weeks, and he’d wake up cold and alone.

He did it anyway.

And holy crap Jason was like six inches from his face and grinning like the idiot he was.

“It’s too early for smiling,” Nico complained to cover his embarrassment, because _hello!_ He was in the arms of Jason Grace, stupidly hot Jason Grace. In his bed, of all places.

“Well I hope it’s not too early for this,” Jason said, kissing Nico before he could react. It wasn’t anywhere near as heated as the ones from last night, but that didn’t stop Nico’s heart from hammering violently in his chest.

“Well I guess that means you didn’t sleep off your insanity,” Nico muttered.

“We were asleep for all of two hours, I couldn’t have slept off a hangnail,” Jason joked. “And what’s it going to take for me to convince you I’m not an insane idiot?”

“You’re always going to be an idiot,” he teased.

Jason just grinned some more.

“Stop smiling at me like that,” Nico attempted to cover his face with his hands. And Jason’s arms were no longer around Nico because now they were tugging Nico’s hands away from his face.

“It’s adorable when you get all moody,” the blond shared, bringing his lips to the corner of Nico’s mouth, “Especially when I know that you’re not actually in a bad mood.”

“Oh, shut up,” the younger boy snapped, hoping he didn’t sound as flustered as he felt.

Jason placed his mouth over Nico’s and kissed him again, deeper this time. And Nico _may_ have thrown his arms around Jason’s neck and leaned up into the kiss, but that was irrelevant. Jason’s hands roamed down Nico’s torso and to his hips. There, he dug his fingers into Nico’s skin—not hard enough to be painful—and pressed their bodies deliciously closer. And Nico _may_ have moaned into the blond boy’s mouth, but that was _also_ irrelevant.

“School,” Nico stuttered, regretfully pushing Jason away.

“Damn it,” Jason frowned.

“It’s school, it’s Friday, you’ll live.”

“I’d much rather be here,” Jason shared, brushing his thumb over Nico’s lips. Nico could hardly believe that Jason was actually upset about having to stop kissing him. Jason. Wanted to kiss Nico.

Because _that_ totally made sense.  

“Just get dressed already before you’re late,” Nico lectured, trying not to think about how much he also wished Jason didn’t have to go. He shouldn’t feel this way. He probably shouldn’t have been kissing Jason at all. If he was smart he’d be under a bridge right now on the other side of the city.

But Nico was tired of being smart. Jason liking Nico, _actually_ liking him, may have been the best thing to happen to him in years. Arguably the _only_ good thing to happen to him in years.

Nico wasn’t sure if his mistake had been staying, or trying to leave in the first place. But his heart told him the latter, and he didn’t give a fuck what his brain had to say about it.

Of course, all of these thoughts evaporated when Jason—who now stood in the middle of the room—began removing his shirt.

“What the hell are you doing?” Nico squeaked, averting his eyes. He did _not_ need shirtless Jason muddling his thoughts right now.

“Getting ready for school, like you said. Unless you think I should wear my pajamas?”

“I didn’t mean to get dressed _right there!_ ”

“It really is irresistible, you know.”

“What is?”

“The way you blush like that,” Jason smirked. Nico chucked a pillow at him.

“Go get dressed in the closet or the bathroom or something, for the love of God.”

“I’m starting to wonder if maybe you don’t like me or something,” the blue-eyed boy declared dramatically, fishing a shirt out of one of his drawers. Jason had probably meant it as a joke, but Nico wasn’t laughing.

“If only,” Nico mumbled under his breath.

The problem was that he liked Jason too much. Way too much.

And he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t walk away. He couldn’t even deny it anymore.

“You say something?” Jason asked, his electric blue eyes piercing right into Nico’s soul.

“I said, you wish,” Nico lied, rolling his eyes and grinning.

Jason dressed then gathered his school things. Nico watched him scurry around with amusement. Watching Jason was a guilty pleasure of his. The tall, muscular, gorgeous, nerdy, generous, brilliant contradiction that was Jason Grace.

“I have work today,” Jason sighed. He and Nico were now standing in front of his bedroom door. If he didn’t leave soon, Leo would get suspicious, and the last thing they needed was him miraculously showing up again. “So I’ll see you tonight.”

“Bring food home. Chinese maybe.” Had Nico just called this apartment his home?

“Chinese,” Jason confirmed. Then, without a moment’s hesitation, he placed his hands on Nico’s face and brought their lips together. The kiss wasn’t friendly, but it wasn’t vulgar either. It was… sweet. Romantic, even. A goodbye kiss. Nico wondered if it was actually possible to melt from the inside out. “Okay, bye.”

“See you later,” Nico replied, leaning against the door-frame as Jason started down the hall. Once the other boy was out of sight, he shut the door with a sigh.

And Nico knew he was stupendously screwed.

He was starting to realize why people called it falling in love. The plunge into some mysterious darkness with no foreseeable ground. The heart racing. The weightlessness. The exhilaration. The nervous twisting feeling in the stomach.

It was as if Nico had stepped off of the edge of a cliff and Jason was the target at the bottom. Nico wasn’t just falling. He was falling toward Jason. Falling into Jason. Falling for Jason.

Was that really what was happening?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, chapter seven! Yay! Now I have a piece of bad news for you. Next week being BOO week and all... Well, obviously I'll be reading that like a madwoman. And, on top of that, it's spirit week at my school so there's the parade, the homecoming game, blah blah blah. With all I have going on, there probably won't be an update next week. But I promise as soon as I finish Blood of Olympus I'll get to work editing chapter 8. Sorry! Don't hate me!


	8. But I Can't Help (Falling In Love With You)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, those two weeks felt ENDLESS, didn’t they? But I promise from now on updates will be every week. Until, of course, I inevitably catch up to myself. *nervous sweating* Well, I should probably go work on chapter 13. See you next week. Also, friendly reminder that nothing that happens in the PJO/HOO canon affects this story. And please no spoilers in the comments, not everyone has read Blood of Olympus yet!

“What has you all smiley today?” Leo inquired just as the fifth period bell rang. Physics, his first afternoon class, and Jason already felt anxious for his day to end. How many hours until he got home? Eight? It felt like an eternity. Jason was supposed to just sit in class while a very kissable Nico di Angelo waited for him at home. He tried to wipe the dreamy smile off of his face with little success. _Nico._

Jason shrugged noncommittally. The more vague he was, the better.

“Oh, come on, what is it? They move up the release date for one of the book series you like or something?” Their teacher, Mrs. White, was unsurprisingly late.

“It’s Friday, that not a good enough reason to be happy?” 

“Jason, there are ‘it’s almost the weekend’ good moods and then there are ‘walking on air’ good moods. Pipes noticed it too.”

Jason hadn’t been that obvious, had he? He’d tried all day to act casual. He’d attempted to be normal Jason, but how the hell could he when Leo was right, he _was_ walking on air. Keeping his mind off of Nico in school was almost as difficult as keeping his hands off of him had been that morning.

Yeah, Jason definitely wished he’d skipped school today. He wanted to be back home with Nico. Nico di Angelo, who liked Jason back. Nico di Angelo, who’d slept in his bed. Nico di Angelo, who’d kissed Jason goodbye before he left for school.

It was surreal, and of course Jason couldn’t stop thinking about it. _Of course_ he was a little more chipper than usual. But he certainly couldn’t explain all of that to Leo. Best friend or not, Jason wasn’t sure saying “ _hey, you know Nico di Angelo? Yeah, he’s been hiding out in my bedroom for weeks. And last night we made out. And then shared a bed. And I think I’m totally falling for him”_ would blow over too well.

So instead he said, “You’re going to think I’m totally lame…”

“I already think you’re totally lame,” his oldest friend teased.

“It _is_ a book thing,” Jason lied. “Stephen King has another book being turned into a movie.”

Leo rolled his eyes and smiled. “You need a boyfriend more than I need to pass final exams.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jason inquired, but Mrs. White came in and started class before Leo could answer.

They didn’t pick up the conversation until after the last period of the day, when the boys walked together toward Delphi. “Jason, dude, I love you, you know I do, but you’re a senior in high school! Enjoy it, man! Live a little! You have a mom who literally lets you do much of anything and seventy percent of the time you have your swanky ass apartment to yourself. Do you realize all the shit you could be doing? You gotta put the books down once in a while.”

Jason swallowed his annoyance. It wasn’t Leo’s fault that he didn’t know the truth. “Leo, I don’t care about parties. Parties are places where people gossip and drink and pretend to have fun. And I’m social enough. I have friends. I have a job. I make good grades. Who cares if I’m not living it up in true senior fashion? That’s just a bunch of cliché bullshit anyways.” That was all true. Jason thought the whole idea of a typical high school experience was pointless. High school didn’t even matter once you got to college anyway. Of course, that wasn’t the only thing keeping Jason from inviting over hoards of people, but he couldn’t simply explain Nico.

“You’re right about that,” Leo conceded. “But I _do_ retain my earlier opinion. You should really date someone. Go on dates at least. Something.”

“When was the last time _you_ went on a date, Leo?” Jason’s voice took on an almost irritable quality. Damn it. Way to play it cool.

“You wound me,” Leo joked, not seeming to notice Jason’s mood change. “I get it, I get it. Backing off. But, for the record, at least _I’m_ looking.”

Jason didn’t need to look. He knew exactly who he wanted. And that person would be waiting for him when he got home.

So yeah, Jason wanted to be really, _really_ irritated with Leo. But he couldn’t. How could he feel anything negative at all when he was so ridiculously warm inside?

 

…

 

Whether or not he liked to admit it, Nico had been clock watching all day long. Counting as each hour, each minute, each second brought him closer to seeing Jason again.

Seriously, what the hell had gotten into him? It wasn’t like Nico wasn’t used to Jason being gone all day. So what, they made out a couple of times and now Nico was some clingy loser just waiting for his— _what, friend? Boyfriend? Friend with benefits?_ _Whatever the hell Jason was to Nico—_ ’s return?

Whatever happened to his plan of _ignoring_ his feelings?

_Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it._

And yet, Nico couldn’t bring himself to completely regret his decision to stay. He couldn’t regret kissing Jason. He just… couldn’t. Not when it had felt so good. So right. So perfect. Somehow, Jason just made Nico feel _fuller._

Still, Nico knew it was in his best interest not to get too attached to the blond. Not to let things go too far. Because… if he did…

No. He wouldn’t. He could handle this. He could be happy and be whatever he was with Jason _and_ save his mom and get out of town and—

Nico groaned, punching the pillow he’d slept on last night.

Jason was making him too hopeful, too optimistic. Nico should have known better by now. When had things ever, _ever_ gone his way? This—whatever it may be—was something Nico would just have to enjoy while it lasted.

Still, Nico knew deep down that there was no way it could last forever. Nothing lasted forever. Especially not the things you couldn’t imagine parting with.

He’d learned that the hard way.

 

…

 

The second Jason’s shift ended he was out the door, almost forgetting to take off his nametag in his haste. Annabeth raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing.

Jason picked up Chinese food like he promised he would and then finally started toward home. The whole way there, however, a wild animal clawed at Jason’s insides, which confused Jason. Nico had said he wouldn’t try to run away again. Jason believed him. He did. He believed him. He believed him. Jason repeated it over and over again, _Nico will be there. Nico will be there. Nico will be there._ Part of Jason couldn’t shake off the thought that last night had been too good to be true. This morning, too.

Jason had never felt so intensely about someone in his entire life.  Yeah, of course he’d been attracted to other guys before, but nothing at all like this. Everything about Nico drew Jason in further and further, deeper and deeper, and he’d reached the point where escape from his feelings seemed impossible. And Jason didn’t know how he could experience such strong feelings for someone he’d known all of three weeks, but God if he wasn’t completely falling for this guy.

And that fucking terrified him. 

_Just please, please still be there,_ Jason prayed, turning on to his street. His eyes roamed up to the twentieth floor. _Be there. Please._

By the time Jason made the journey from the street corner, down the block, and up to his floor, an entire civilization had risen and fallen. Jason shot through the elevator doors the instant they opened wide enough.

The first thing he found when he arrived home was his mother was actually there. Normally this was not bad—good even because at least it meant she wasn’t out drinking—but right now he only wanted for her to leave.

“That’s a lot of food for just you,” was the first thing she said. She gave him a curious—if not somewhat buzzed—look in the wall mirror where she was fixing her hair.

“Leo’s coming over,” Jason shrugged, lying easily.

“You never asked if Leo could come over,” she sighed. Jason almost laughed in her face. Like she gave a fuck what he did.

“Whatever.”

She didn’t seem up for an argument. “I’m going out, I’ll be home before school tomorrow, you should make breakfast.”

“Tomorrow is Saturday,” Jason said tiredly.

“Oh, well I like those muffins you make,” and then his mother was out the door without another word. Jason shook his head. No time to think about that now. He was anxious to get to his room.

Before he could even reach the door, however, it opened from the other side. “I heard your mom leave,” Nico explained, smiling awkwardly.

Just seeing him made Jason want to lean against a wall for support. The relief was instantaneous. Nico really hadn’t left.

Jason, suddenly unsure of what to say, held up the bag of take-out. “Hungry?”

“Starving.”

They stood there for a second, unsure what to say. Could Jason kiss Nico, or would the other boy find it to out of the blue. Nico chewed at his lip.

Why did that lip chewing have to be so damn distracting?

_Say anything, you fucking dork._

“Uh, let’s eat.”

They ended up in the kitchen, sitting at the table in the same seats as the previous night with the hot chocolate. The memory made Jason’s face heat up. He wanted to kiss Nico again, he’d wanted to kiss him all day long, but now that he finally had the chance he wasn’t sure how to lead into it. An uncomfortable silence saturated the room.

“You get any more sleep after I left today?” Jason inquired when the lack of conversation became unbearable.

“No. I’m guessing you were pretty tired at school?”

Shrugging, Jason leaned in closer to the other boy, “It was worth it,” he said with honestly.

Nico pushed his chair back from the table suddenly and rose to his feet, angling away from Jason.

“Uh, Nico?” Jason prompted.

The younger boy turned back, as flushed and embarrassed as Jason had ever seen him. “I just—I don’t know how to act around you now!” He admitted.

“You don’t have to act any different,” he stood too, placing a hand on the young boy’s shoulder. “I like who you are… just how you are. A lot.”

“That’s exactly what I mean!” Nico complained, beginning to circle the table. He raked his fingers through his hair, a motion that Jason found to be distractingly hot.“I get that you like me or whatever. And then last night… and this morning. Where does that leave us? Hell, what does us even mean right now?”

Jason’s heart filled with fondness. Leave it to Nico to be even _more_ of an over-thinker than Jason. “What do _you_ want ‘us’ to be?” He inquired.

“You can’t answer my question by asking me the same question! You’re stressing me out, Grace!” Nico exclaimed, throwing his arms up in true Italian nature and continuing to pace. Jason caught his sleeve as he circled around, bringing the boy to a stop.

“Well I think us is whatever we decide it is,” he unlocked his finger’s from Nico’s sleeve to take Nico’s hand in his own. “This thing, friendship, relationship, whatever you want to call it, is between the two of us. Not my friends, not the school, not your family. You and me. Equally. It’s not up to _me_ to define _us._ That’s hardly mutual.”

Nico scowled. “I don’t—I have no idea what I’m doing. This stuff is all new to me. I thought I had an idea of what is going on but now I just feel… lost. Like earlier I couldn’t wait for you to get home. And then you got here and… I panicked.”

Jason laughed nervously. “I don’t know what makes you think I hold the answers. I’ve never had a boyfriend or anything. The only person I’ve ever been even remotely serious with is Piper, and obviously that was a failure.”

Nico gave him a skeptical look. “You’re serious?”

“Well, obviously it was a failure. She’s a girl.”

Nico shook his head. “No, I mean, you haven’t had a boyfriend before?”

It was Jason’s turn to flush red. “Never,” he admitted, “I’ve kissed guys and stuff, that’s about it.”

“Oh,” Nico mumbled. “I just figured that…”

“You’re special, I guess,” Jason smirked, taking Nico’s hips in his hands and drawing the boy closer. He lowered his head to bring his lips to Nico’s, but the other boy pushed him away gently.

“Then what do _you_ want us to be, Jason?”

The blond thought of the previous night, of the taste of hot chocolate on Nico’s lips and the way he’d held on to Jason like letting go would set him adrift in outer space. He thought of Nico, curled up to him in bed, sleeping dreamlessly in the circle of Jason’s arm. This morning, Nico’s pillow hair and morning kisses.

Jason knew exactly what he wanted.

“Well, obviously this situation is complicated. Like really, really complicated. And I know that what happened with Luke was traumatic for you and that you’re a little hesitant about all of this,” he gestured between them, “but I like you. God, I like you. And, well, normally I guess I’d be asking you out on a date or something, which is kind of weird when you consider the fact that we share a bedroom, but—”

 “You’re saying, if things weren’t complete shit…”

“I don’t want to be just friends, or friends with benefits for that matter. Does the timing suck? Yeah, obviously, but I can live with that.”

“Sucks is a mild way of putting it. You want to date a guy that you have to hide in your apartment because everyone thinks he’s a murderer? You couldn’t tell your friends, your sister, anyone.”

“I’ve thought this through, Nico. You may not think so, but I know what I’m doing. I’ve made up my mind and I want to be with you. So what do _you_ want?”

“I want not to like you so damn much,” he admitted, eyes falling to the floor. “And I’d like to hope that one day this will all blow over and I can live a normal life again and be a normal teenager, or at least as normal as I ever was. But it may not work out that way. And if we are to keep going with… _this_ , you need to get that. A month from now I could be dead, or in prison, or on an entirely different continent never to be heard from again.”

“Yes, but in that time I could get hit by a car. I could be mugged and murdered in the streets. Maybe aliens will abduct me. Nothing is certain, right? But that doesn’t mean we stop living. Life happens, one way or another, so we might as well enjoy it where we can.”

Nico’s eyes met Jason’s, dark and impossible to read. He sighed, “You sound like some cheesy character in one of those books you read.”

“But it’s kinda charming and makes you want to give me a chance, right?”

“This might just be the weirdest twenty-four hours of my entire life.”

“Can I go ahead and take that as a ‘yes, Jason, I want to be more than friends,’ because I’m dying over here.”

“You’re such an idiot.”

“So it’s a yes?”

Nico smirked. “We can’t date if we can’t even leave the apartment.”

“That sounds like a challenge to me,” Jason said, stepping closer to the dark haired boy. Nico blushed.

“And what if I do get arrested, Mr. Optimism? You plan on dating a convict?”

“Oh yeah, I’ll keep a picture in my wallet and show people and everything. Although, admittedly, kissing the picture won’t be as good as the real thing.”

Nico smiled. The genuine, deep smile that Jason loved. “What am I supposed to do with you?”

“You could like… kiss me. That’d be good. Or I could kiss you. I really want to kiss you.”

 “Idiot,” Nico muttered as he grabbed Jason by the neck of his shirt, tugging him forward until their lips collided in a heart-stopping kiss.

Jason’s memory hadn’t done Nico much justice. Either that or this kiss was twenty times better than their earlier ones. Jason lifted his hand to the nape of Nico’s neck, twisting his fingers in the hair there while clutching at the thinner boy’s hip with the other hand. Nico’s arms looped around the blond, throwing himself into the embrace entirely. Jason fought back a shudder. Their tongues met and he felt the sensation all the way down in his toes. If the last time Nico had kissed a boy was Luke—Jason didn’t actually know if there had been someone since then—he definitely hadn’t forgotten how. The thought of Nico kissing other boys made Jason suddenly uncharacteristically jealous and he drew Nico in closer.

Nico pulled away first, practically gasping for air.

“So, when all of this is over, and it _will_ be over eventually, what do you say I take you to dinner?” Jason asked, still catching his breath himself.

“Am I like the only gay guy you know, or something?” Nico mumbled, flushed red from his chest to his forehead. Jason had never seen someone blush all the way down their neck, but it made Nico look unbearably alluring.

“No,” Jason kissed him lightly on the lips, “You’re not.” A slightly longer kiss. “Somehow I’m going to convince you that I’m not stupid.” He had every intention of kissing Nico until he couldn’t breathe.

Nico pushed at his chest gently. “In the meantime, maybe we should eat? I meant what I said about being hungry.”

“Oh, right,” Jason said, releasing the other boy from his hold. He’d let Nico eat and _then_ maybe he would kiss him until he couldn’t breathe.

Somehow, his feelings for this boy kept getting stronger and stronger. In three weeks he’d gone from wanting to be Nico’s friend, to developing a small crush, to wanting to kiss him, to never wanting to let him go.

_Wait, what?_

That _was_ crazy talk. Jason was getting ahead of himself.

“Leo thinks I need a life,” he announced, digging into his noodles.

“Well, you do work at a bookstore for fun,” Nico teased.

“He’s convinced that I need to get a boyfriend or something,” he smirked. “And you think _I’m_ an idiot.”

Nico’s expression mirrored Jason’s. “You’re both idiots apparently. Makes sense.”

“You’re pretty mean to me,” Jason sipped his water.

“I’m mean to everyone, don’t go feeling all special or anything just because I like you.”

“I’ll try not to,” Jason promised. Nico smiled again. Because of Jason.

It was almost better than the kissing.

 

…

 

“Favorite color?” Jason asked, running a thumb over Nico’s knuckles in a way that Jason probably hadn’t meant to be sensual, but totally was.

“Black,” Nico answered easily. The blond laughed.

“Figures.” After they’d finished eating, Jason and Nico had moved to sit on the couch in the living room and were now engaged in a never-ending game of questions. Nico hadn’t expected Jason to take such an interest of the most minute details of Nico’s life, but the other boy seemed eager to learn anything and everything he could. Nico’s back rested on the arm of the couch and his legs were bent at the knees with Jason’s legs resting underneath. The proximity between the two of them was not lost on Nico. He felt Jason’s closeness with every _thump_ of his heart.

Jason wanted to date him. Jason actually desired a relationship. The idea should have terrified Nico, but the firework explosions going off inside of his chest didn’t care about that. Maybe Nico deserved one good thing in his life.

And Jason Grace was certainly a good thing.

“Most humiliating thing that ever happened to you?”

Jason bit his lip and gave Nico an embarrassed smile. “You’re going to make fun of me.”

“Maybe I will, stapler boy.”

“Got hit in the head with a brick. Knocked me out cold.”

“Embarrassing? That just sounds painful.”

“It was painful, too,” now Jason intertwined his fingers with Nico’s, causing the younger boy to momentarily forget to breathe, “But if it makes me sound any cooler, I was trying to break up a fight.”

“So your hero complex has gotten you into trouble before,” Nico surmised. “Saving a fair maiden, perhaps?”

“Leo played a prank that caused quite the commotion, I was just trying to stop Octavian from pummeling him.”

“And so he threw a brick at you?”

“Oh, no, that was just a happy accident. But it _did_ happen while I was trying to stop a fight.”

Nico squeezed Jason’s hand. Jason squeezed back.

If someone had told Nico two months ago that he’d spend this Friday night—or any night—snuggled up to Jason Grace and holding hands while sharing things about themselves, Nico would have laughed in their face. It was still almost too much for Nico to wrap his mind around, but he was trying. Clearly Jason wasn’t going to budge on the feelings thing, so Nico needed to stop waiting for him to change his mind.

Who knew? Maybe things actually were going right for Nico for once.

Never in his life had Nico let people be this physically close to him. He’d been beaten enough times by his father to not let anyone touch him—Bianca being the only exception. But with Jason… it was like Nico couldn’t get close enough. He actually _craved_ the other boy’s closeness.

“What do you want to be when you’re older?” Jason asked.

“Not arrested and alive,” Nico declared. Jason glowered at him. “Okay, fine. A child and family social worker.”

“Really?”

“I want to help kids with shitty lives. I know how they feel.”

Jason leaned in and kissed Nico for the first time since they’d sat down. Nico sunk into Jason’s body, allowing the feeling of Jason’s lips to overtake him. This particular kiss was tender, Jason’s free hand curling around Nico’s neck in a way that was so sweet and gentle that Nico sighed against Jason’s lips. They didn’t stop holding hands. Nico worried his palm was getting sweaty, but Jason didn’t seem to notice or care.

“Favorite movie?” Nico whispered against Jason’s lips.

“I have a lot.” Jason planted a quick kiss on Nico’s lips.

“Name one.”

Jason pondered it for a minute, pulling Nico onto his lap in the process. Before, this may have sent Nico into a panic, but things were so different now. Who would have thought that being in someone’s arms, so close that noses brushed and chests pressed together, could actually be a comfort to Nico. Just weeks ago, anyone other than his sister getting so close to him usually meant Nico was getting his ass kicked.

“Casablanca,” Jason decided, interrupting Nico’s thoughts, “It’s a classic.”

“Casablanca?” He asked incredulously, pushing back from Jason slightly to stare at him.

“It’s a classic, okay?”

“I know. I love that movie. My mom is a huge old movie enthusiast.”

“You’re kidding,” Jason’s lips curled into a smile.

“I’m not,” Nico assured.

So that was how, ten minutes later, Jason and Nico found themselves in the beautiful black and white world of Rick Blaine and Ilsa Lund.

Jason had his arms wrapped around Nico once again, which may have distracted from the movie just a little. It wasn’t until Jason started kissing Nico’s neck some time into the movie that he found it impossible to focus. Nico leaned his head back against Jason’s shoulder, deciding that he definitely didn’t hate Fridays anymore.

“Oh, I love this part!” Jason announced, bringing his lips away from Nico’s skin.

Nico snorted. Jason _would_ go from sucking on his neck to freaking out over a movie he’d probably seen a hundred times. Jason looked so damn excited about the movie, though, that Nico couldn’t resent the loss of contact.

A second later Jason seemed to remember Nico, squeezing the younger boy gently in his arms. Then, with a grin, he whispered in synchronization with the movie, perfectly quoting every line in the scene.

“Oh no, you’re a movie quoter,” Nico said with mock horror. “That’s it, release me. I have to leave. I can’t be with someone who quotes movies while watching them.”

“Oh really?” Jason asked, pushing Nico down so his back rested on the leather of the couch. Jason lowered himself as well, resting his knees on either side of Nico’s hips and kissing him deeply.  “Come on, you know the lines too,” he challenged.

The funny thing was that he was right. Nico had probably seen this movie enough times to quote it word for word. He opened his mouth, anticipating the next line, “I can't fight it anymore. I ran away from you once. I can't do it again. Oh, I don't know what's right any longer. You have to think for both of us. For all of us.”

Jason laughed, “All right, I will. Here’s looking at you, kid.”

_I wish I didn’t love you so much._ The next line, but Nico didn’t say it. Instead, he pulled Jason down to his lips once again.

“Wow, we’re complete nerds,” admitted Jason. “I knew you knew the lines.”

They went back to watching the movie after that, but Nico had trouble focusing.

_I wish I didn’t love you so much._ It was just a movie line. He should have just said it. Why did saying it feel like jumping a massive hurdle? It wasn’t like Nico was telling Jason he was in love with him. It was just a stupid, unimportant movie line.

So why did it feel like more?

 

…

 

“Jason,” Nico sighed, “I’m really fine on the floor.”

It was nearly one in the morning and the lack of a good night’s sleep the previous night weighed down on the boys.

Jason, who sat on the bed, had that _I’m annoyed with you_ look all over his face. Normally Nico would have found it amusing. Tonight he wished Jason would just let the issue drop. Yes, of course Nico liked the idea of crawling into bed with Jason and snuggling close to him like they had the previous night. However, last night was different. Just because Nico had agreed to sleep with Jason then, didn’t mean it ought to be a regular occurrence. They’d just admitted to liking each other less than twenty-four hours ago. Nico didn’t want to rush things with Jason, partially out of fear that Jason would realize the depths of Nico’s feelings and get scared away. Maybe, Nico mused, if they kept things slow and didn’t get too serious, both boys could make it out unharmed. Nico could get out with his heart intact…

And Jason could get out with his life.

So no, Nico was _not_ going to give in to his desires to burrow under Jason’s soft comforter and sleep against his warm, muscular body. Not tonight. Not tomorrow. Absolutely not.

“Is the floor really preferable to a bed?” Jason questioned.

“The floor is all I need. Go to sleep.”

Jason lowered himself to the floor, kneeling beside the dark haired boy. “You’re pushing me away again.”

“Because I don’t want to sleep with you?” Nico mocked.

“You make it sound like I’m trying to molest you,” he remarked. “It’s just sleeping, Nico. I like sleeping beside you.”

Typical Jason, saying whatever he felt without shame. Meanwhile, Nico could barely say what he was thinking without turning into a tomato.

“We cuddled for half of the night on the couch. This is stupid, I’m a big boy, I can sleep all by myself.”

“And the nightmares?” Jason prompted.

“I’m sleeping on the floor,” Nico declared, lying down on his side and putting his back to Jason.

“Okay, me too.” An arm curled around Nico’s torso and pulled his back against the hard planes of Jason’s chest. Nico figured that with Jason’s muscular figure all the snuggling ought to be uncomfortable, but it wasn’t. Something about being pressed up against Jason was so… inviting. Perfect.

That was why Nico needed to stop it.

“Damn it, Jason,” Nico growled, “Why are you so fucking stubborn?”

“I prefer the word persistent. And maybe I just find your presence comforting. I—I’m not used to touching people _like this,”_ Jason let his fingers glide down the side of Nico’s arm, leaving goose bumps in their wake.

Nico let out an exasperated breath and turned to face the blond. It was fortunate he had just exhaled because when he rolled over, because the way Jason’s eyes were on him halted his oxygen flow. Yeah, he was fucking cliché, sue him. They were so close their breaths mingled together.

“Here’s looking at you kid,” Jason whispered, his breath tickling Nico’s lips.

Nico suddenly remembered that survival depended on his ability to breathe and took in a small breath. “I’m not a good sleeper,” Nico admitted. “I thrash around a lot when I have nightmares.”

“I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams,” Jason said under his breath.

“What?”

“It’s _Hamlet_. Nevermind. I’ll keep the bad dreams away, how’s that?”

“Not even you can stop them, Jay. They’re dreams.”

“Well,” Jason leaned closer, “I could try.”

“You win,” Nico conceded, “But just for tonight.”

Jason kissed Nico chastely on the lips. “Does that mean we can sleep on the bed? Cause I mean, I’ll sleep on the floor if you _really_ want to but…”

Nico chuckled. “Yeah, bed. Don’t think this is going to be habitual though, Jason. I mean it. We kissed for the first time less than a day ago. Sharing a bed is a little quick, wouldn’t you say?”

Jason took Nico’s hands and helped him to his feet. “How would I know? This is all new to me. Either way, we’re not exactly in a conventional situation right now.” He drew Nico down onto the mattress.

“You’re correct there.”

“It feels right though.”

“I know,” Nico breathed, nuzzling against Jason’s body, “I feel it too.”

“Goodnight,” Jason pressed his lips to Nico’s forehead.

“Sleep tight,” Nico teased.

“Don’t let the creepy molester cuddling up to you bite.” Both boys laughed, the last sound to fill the room before they drifted off to sleep.

And maybe it was Jason, maybe it was just luck… but Nico didn’t have any nightmares.

 

…

 

On Saturday afternoon, Jason got a phone call from Thalia while Nico was in the shower.

“Hey Sparky,” she greeted.

“Hey Sis,” Jason smiled.

“How’s life? Mom driving you up the wall?”

Even before their father’s death, Thalia and their mother hadn’t gotten along. Jason was the golden child, he played sports and did well in school and had even been class president freshman year. Making his parents happy had always been a big thing for Jason. Thalia, however, had been more of the black sheep. The outsider in an otherwise “perfect” family. Jason had never seen her that way, but his parents had. It wasn’t until Thalia left that Jason broke the mold. He quit football, and student council, he started spending all his free time at Delphi, he stopped going to parties.

“Mom is… Mom.”

“Hear anything from Stanford yet?”

“No, but hopefully soon. God, I hope I get in.”

“You will. And then you’ll move here and Mom won’t drive you up the wall anymore,” Thalia laughed.

“Sounds great. Haven’t seen you in months.” Thalia wasn’t allowed in the house anymore. Anytime she was in town, Jason had to go somewhere to see her and then lie to his mother about it later. _If_ she even cared to ask where he’d been, which was almost never.

“Actually, that’s why I’m calling! I’m going to be in New York for a few days during your spring break!”

“That’s great!” Jason told her.

“You can catch me up on all of the scandalous details of your life,” Thalia enthused.

“Me? Scandalous?” He laughed nervously. Jason could only imagine how _that_ chat would go.

_What’s new with me? Well, I’m seeing someone. His name is Nico. Look him up, his face is only on every newspaper in the city. It’s because everyone thinks he killed his sister, but he totally didn’t I swear! He’s a great guy._

The situation royally sucked. Jason was _crazy_ about Nico and he couldn’t even tell his own sister about their relationship. He couldn’t tell his best friends. He couldn’t tell anyone.

Not that Jason didn’t understand… he _knew_ why he had to keep quiet and he would do it to be with Nico. It still sucked, though.

“Hey, I gotta go. I have lunch plans. Talk to you later, little brother.”

“Have fun, Thals. Love you.”

“You too.” She hung up.

Nico came out of the bathroom two minutes later, toweling his hair with his shirt on the wrong way. Jason felt his lips tugging into a smile without his consent. Shit, he was falling harder for this guy every day.

“Your shirt is on backwards,” Jason informed.

Nico examined his chest. “Oops.” He pulled the shirt up off of his torso and freed his arms, rotating the stretchy cotton and poking his arms back through the sleeve holes. The whole time, Jason’s eyes were on Nico’s bare body. He’d never actually seen Nico shirtless before, but now saw that he had a nice form. He was definitely slim, but any weight he’d dropped during his time in the streets had already come back and he looked healthy. Jason was mesmerized.

“Stop looking at me,” Nico complained, letting the shirt fall back over his stomach. “Not everyone can have washboard abs, Jay.”

“Washboard abs? Really?” Jason repeated, amused.

“I will kick your pretty boy ass,” Nico threatened.

“So I’m pretty with washboard abs but I can’t appreciate the view you give me?”

“View? I’m like the hotel room that faces the parking lot. You’re the one looking out over the fucking ocean.”

Jason wasn’t sure whether he should be embarrassed or flattered. He’d never really seen himself as particularly attractive. He was tall, sure, but so were a lot of guys. Nico was so much more unique looking though, all the pale skin setting off the messy black hair and the intriguing dark eyes. Jason was about as All-American looking as a guy could get.

“I think you should give yourself more credit, Nico. And maybe give me a little less, while you’re at it.”

Nico just shook his head at the older boy. “How are you even so fit?”

Jason shrugged. “I played football up until my dad died. The only reason I played was to make him happy, didn’t really seem worth it after that. Since then? I don’t know, I work in a bookstore, the hardest work I have to do is lifting heavy boxes of books.”

Nico threw up his arms in exasperation. “Stop breaking the system, Jason. The hot book geek who stays in shape by lifting boxes of novels and works even though he’s plenty rich and compassionate _and_ friendly to filthy teenagers he finds in shady alleys is a little too much to process.”

There were about a hundred things Jason could have said to that. “Friendly? Is that what you think I’m being?” He laughed. “Apparently I haven’t been forward enough.”

Nico started forward suddenly and bunched his hands in the cotton of Jason’s shirt, bringing him down for a searing kiss. Jason threw his arms around the boy, drawing him in closer. The feel of Nico’s body against his was almost dangerous, causing Jason to be a little relieved when Nico broke the kiss just seconds later.

“What was that for?” Jason asked, unable to hold back a smile.

That irresistible blush made an appearance on Nico’s skin. “I heard you talking to someone while I was in the shower. Who was it?” He prompted, grasping for a topic change.

“Thalia. She’s going to be here for a few days during spring break. I haven’t seen her in months.”

“She doesn’t stay here when she visits, does she?” The boy’s eyes widened.

Jason snorted, “She’s not even allowed in the apartment when my mom’s around. Normally that sucks, but” he glanced at the boy in front of him, “I guess it’s a good thing this time. She’s not oblivious like my mother.”

“Yeah, few people are,” Nico chuckled, but there was a strange look on his face that Jason couldn’t quite read.

“You okay?” He tilted Nico’s head up in order to study his expression.

“Yeah,” Nico assured, “Just got a little disoriented for a second. I’m fine now.”

 

…

 

Nico was the exact opposite of fine.

He was dizzy, sick to his stomach, his chest ached, his skin burned, his pulse raced, his stomach churned.

Nico had left earth for another planet, one that existed only when he looked into the riveting blue of Jason’s eyes. Gravity didn’t hold him to this world, Jason did. Jason’s words, Jason’s smiles, Jason’s laugh, Jason’s arms.

Nico was falling… falling… falling.

Falling so hard for this boy in front of him with nothing to hold on to, nothing to soften the blow, nothing to stop him.

He couldn’t deny it to himself anymore.

And it felt amazing, on the one hand. Nico felt strong, invincible even. He felt that if he had Jason by his side, somehow everything would be okay. How could it not be, with Jason around?

Nico was as warm and gooey as a fresh cinnamon bun under Jason’s concerned stare. Jason cared about _Nico_. He worried about _Nico._

When was the last time someone outside of his family had cared so profoundly about his wellbeing?

But, on the other hand, Nico was absolutely terrified. All of his attempts to stay back, to protect himself from more love and loss and hurt had been in vain. Jason held Nico’s heart in his hands, and he could do whatever he wanted with it.

And there was nothing, absolutely nothing, Nico could do to protect himself at this point. Running away from Jason would be leaving his heart behind.

He couldn’t run, not anymore.

The time had come for Nico to weather the storm.


	9. Nico di Angelo Puts the D in Distractions (And Desire)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know Friday has already ended, but the day isn’t REALLY over until I go to sleep soo… (Give me a break, I got home at 11:30). Also, once again let me remind you all that you can check out my tumblr at nehilimgirlbooks. Oh, and last thing, I edited this chapter once but I was too exhausted to do my final proof-read all the way through. So if there are grammar errors, I am so sorry! I’m exhausted and on my way to bed now.

Now the nightmares, Nico had long ago grown used to those. They sucked, royally fucking sucked, but at least he knew how to deal with them. The guilt, the fear, the helplessness, those were feelings Nico could write full-length dissertations on.

He didn’t have a clue how to deal with lust.

The dream started with Jason’s lips on his neck, just like they had been Friday night during the movie. He kissed a trail from the base of Nico’s neck to the line of his jaw, occasionally letting his tongue linger on the sensitive skin. Nico groaned, pulling Jason in closer. Closer. Closer.

Nothing felt close enough.

“Mmm, Nico,” Dream Jason moaned, dragging his hand down Nico’s chest and to his—no, _not_ his shorts. Nico realized with great surprise that he wasn’t wearing any. In fact, he was completely naked from the waist down. Jason gave a devilish grin as his hand moved lower. The blond tugged Nico’s shirt up and up and up until his chest was bare too.

“Why are you still wearing clothes?” His dream self growled at the older boy.

Jason’s lips were against his. “You talk too much,” he whispered. And then his lips followed the earlier path of his hand. Down the neck, down the chest, across Nico’s unimpressive and pale torso. Except Jason didn’t treat it like it was scrawny and unattractive. He appraised Nico’s skin with kiss after kiss, eliciting a fair and somewhat embarrassing number of sounds from the younger boy.

Nico hissed through his teeth as Jason’s mouth moved lower still, over his pelvis, finally and mercifully meeting the shaft of his—

Nico jolted awake.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

What was that? What the fuck was that?

Nico’s eyes landed on the boy beside him. Still asleep, thankfully. Jason’s face wore a peaceful expression, mouth slack, arm at his side where it once had been wrapped around Nico’s waist. Thank God he hadn’t woken up. If he did, surely he would have noticed the, er, _problem_ Nico was left with thanks to his dream.

_Damn it. Damn it._

Nico knew he shouldn’t have agreed to spend another night in Jason’s bed. Unfortunately, it had become a habit at this point. A habit, after only four nights. Nico tried to sleep on the floor only to have Jason lure him back into the bed, kissing his lips and nuzzling his neck and doing all kinds of sickeningly sweet things. So yeah, maybe Nico had more or less given up. He’d come to terms with the fact that he and Jason would just be sleeping in the same bed. No big deal, right? It was only sleeping.

Yeah, only sleeping and sex dreams.

And now it was almost six in the morning and Nico was sporting some serious wood.

Jason’s pleasant sleeping expression was disrupted suddenly, a small scowl appearing on his face. Nico held his breath, but the boy did not wake. Rather, his right arm stretched out, curling around Nico’s form once again and pulling him back into the blond’s clutches.

 _Fuck fuck fuck,_ he cursed silently as Jason tugged their bodies flush together, Nico becoming the little spoon in their embrace.

Because Jason’s dick pressed against his ass was _just_ the thing to kill a boner.

Nico tried to wiggle free, but Jason had a death grip around his waist this time. He wasn’t going anywhere.

So Nico just laid there, his heart racing, Jason’s breath on his neck, his dick—which unfortunately seemed to be experiencing a similar issue to Nico’s—pressed up against him, their bodies pressed close.

And, needless to say, Nico did _not_ fall back to sleep.

 

…

 

When Jason’s alarm went off, Nico pretended he had been sleeping. Otherwise he would have had to acknowledge the fact that he had spent the last hour with Jason’s morning wood digging into him.

Sometimes being a guy was a r _eal_ pain in the ass. _Uh, no pun intended,_ Nico thought. Jason shot awake quickly, separating from Nico almost instantly.

“You know,” Nico observed, “If your alarm wasn’t a blaring siren, you probably wouldn’t jolt awake in terror every morning.”

Jason pushed his fingers through his hair, sitting up in the bed. “Well, it always does the trick, doesn’t it?”

“If by that you mean it always nearly gives me a heart attack,” Nico declared, sitting up as well.

The blond grinned and leaned in to kiss Nico. The embrace started off chaste, but after only a few seconds, Jason’s tongue swiped over the younger boy’s lips. And then Nico thought of what that mouth—what that _tongue—_ had done in Nico’s dream last night. He blushed deeply.

Almost as if he had been in the dream too, as if he could read Nico’s thoughts, Jason tensed and gently pushed Nico off.

“I need to get ready for school,” he muttered, placing one quick peck on Nico’s cheek before disappearing into the bathroom, looking plenty red-faced himself.

 

…

 

Jason liked having Nico in his bed. He really, really did. But he had to admit, the cold shower thing was getting a little old, and the week had only just begun.

Why would Jason take a cold shower when he could very simply adjust the heat, you ask? Three words.

Nico di Angelo.

The worst part was, Jason could barely remember the dream that had brought on this problem to begin with. If he was going to have sex dreams and wake up with hard-ons, then shouldn’t he at least be able to remember the fucking dream?

 _Well, not the_ fucking _dream, the fucking dream. Or both, maybe? Damn it, Grace,_ Jason thought to himself as the cold water rushed down his chest, chilling him to the bone.

God, Nico hadn’t _noticed_ the hard-on, had he?

Jason himself hadn’t even realized it until they started kissing.

It must have been a _good_ dream, Jason could tell that much. But so, so, so embarrassing. Morning wood had never been a huge problem for Jason before. Of course, that was also before he snuggled up to sleep against the obvious star of Jason’s dream: Nico.

For all of his doubts, Nico’s presence in Jason’s dream was _not_ one of them. Nico had been there. God, had Nico ever been there.

 _Stop thinking about Nico. Stop,_ Jason scolded. He’d never get rid of his erection that way. Jason considered just jerking off, but something about touching himself after a sex dream about Nico with Nico on the other side of the door was a definite no.

And to think, Nico didn’t believe he had any sex appeal…

 

…

 

On Tuesday, Jason’s mother had left by dinnertime. She had a date, apparently, which meant she was probably hooking up with some married man while his wife thought he was at a business dinner. Jason wouldn’t put it past his mother.

Nico sat on the couch, muttering unintelligible things, while Jason sat in the kitchen and tried to get some actual homework done.

“Sam, Dean, get your shit together!” Nico yelled at the screen.

Okay, so Jason wasn’t actually getting much homework in.

“They can’t hear you,” Jason called, punching an equation into his calculator.

“Shh! I’m listening!” Nico scolded. Jason smiled to himself. He liked it whenever Nico’s inner nerd made an appearance.

Jason eventually finished his work and joined Nico on the couch, throwing his arm over the boy’s shoulders. Nico continued mumbling angrily at the TV.

“You follow this show, I’m guessing?” Jason asked.

“Jason, _shh!_ ” Nico pressed a finger to the older boy’s lips.

When the show ended—with some very attractive thirty-something guys talking in their car—Nico began flipping mindlessly through the channels.

He stopped when suddenly his own face appeared on the screen. “The search for suspected murderer, sixteen year old Nico di Angelo carries on. Over five weeks have passed since Hades and wife Maria arrived home to find their daughter stabbed and their son missing. The couple continues to grieve the loss of their seventeen year old daughter, Bianca.” The screen flashed to Jason’s school, where the Bianca memorial out front was still going strong. Jason ripped the remote from Nico’s grip and shut off the television.

Nico said nothing.

Lightly, Jason kissed the boy’s temple. He pulled them closer together.

“I never got to go to her funeral,” Nico finally muttered.

“How about we go to bed?” Jason whispered.

Nico had given up on the sleeping argument, crawling into Jason’s bed without a word of protest. Jason, now clad in his pajama pants, slid in beside him, forcing thoughts of the past two nights’ dreams out of his mind. Not a simple task, considering that he _vividly_ remembered the one from the previous night.

He brushed his fingers through the younger boy’s messy dark hair.

“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” Nico whispered, resting his head on Jason’s pillow.

“Would you be there with me?” Jason smirked. Nico rolled his eyes.

“Just answer the question, you cheesy moron.”

Jason considered the question. He honestly had never put much thought in to traveling the world, he’d just be happy to get away from New York. “I’d go everywhere, of course. Well, not everywhere, maybe I’d skip over Siberia but…”

“That’s hardly an answer,” Nico declared.

“Where would you like to go then?”

“Greece,” Nico said wistfully. “Athens, really. All the mythology and the history… Like Mythomagic come to life.”

Jason chuckled. “Ah yes, Mythomagic.”

Nico shoved him without much malice. “Now, you answer.”

“Somewhere mountainous. I love being up really high, it’s like flying. One of my favorite things to do in New York is go to the Empire State Building and ride up to the observation deck late at night, just before closing. So, the Swiss Alps. The Himalayas maybe.” He glanced down at Nico. “I like beautiful things.”

“You’re never going to believe this, but I haven’t actually _been_ to the Empire State Building,” Nico confessed.

“What? Blasphemy! It’s the best place in the city!” Jason had been visiting the Empire State Building since before he could remember. There was something strangely comforting to Jason about being so up in the clouds. Most people looked at him like he was crazy when he tried to explain it.

“Lived in New my whole life, passed by it all the time, never went inside,” Nico shrugged. “It’s just a building.”

“Just the _best_ building,” Jason insisted, “The view from up there is unbelievable! The whole city just lights up at night and while I’m up there I can almost remember a time when I loved this place.”

Nico scooted up on the mattress so his head rested in the crook of the blond’s neck. “Why do you hate New York so much, Jay?”

“I don’t hate the city, I guess. I hate living in this apartment that used to be my family’s home and is now just this… ghostly memory. The shell of what it used to be. It’s almost like my entire family died along with my dad. I hate the gossipy people at school who care more about getting a date to prom than they do about getting into college. I just hate… this environment.”

Nico nodded, frowning.

“But,” Jason added, brushing the backs of his fingers down Nico’s cheek, “It’s not all bad. There are definitely bright spots. Leo and Piper. Working at Delphi. The Empire State Building.” He blushed. “You.”

Nico sat up, hugging his knees to his chest. “I met a homeless kid, you know, back on the streets,” he shared. “His name was Tyson. He was a big guy, not very bright either. More than likely he’s never stepped foot in a school. We looked out for each other, for a while. Just a few days really, but it’s hard to make friends out there. Anyway, I asked him once… if he felt resentful because of the hand he’d been dealt. And he just looked at me and said ‘I don’t need a fancy place or a lot of money, New York is looking out for me.’ Back then, I wondered if he was a little crazy. Then I realized, he’s right you know. New York is cruel, cold, and a lot of other terrible things, but sometimes it feels like the city raised me more than my parents did. For that, I don’t think I can ever truly hate it here.”

Jason considered that. He thought about the city whose lights never dimmed, the city where silence was a foreign concept, where millions of people coexisted in a strange way, bringing all of their cultures and character with them.

“Yeah,” he sighed, pulling Nico back down to rest against his chest. “Maybe I can’t, either.”

 

…

 

As the week wore on and turned to the weekend, one thing became painfully clear to Nico—sex dreams were almost as inconvenient as nightmares.

Yes, his abusive father and guilt over all the people hurt because of him all made for very dramatic food for nightmares, but at least he didn’t have to _look_ at those people every damn day.

And Jason, poor Jason had no clue about the what he had been up to in Nico’s dreams. If he did, he’d probably be more hesitant to allow Nico in his bed night after night.

For fuck’s sake, Nico was a virgin. Where the hell was his mind getting all of this? He’d never known his imagination could be capable of such feats.

Nico needed to get a grip. He knew for a fact this was not the time to be thinking about… _that._ He had to focus on his mother. His mother. His mother.

And Jason _really_ needed to stop biting his lip while he studied.

 

…

 

Homework had certainly been a lot easier before Nico came around.

Time had moved forward—as it often did—and now Spring Break loomed on the horizon. Sadly, this meant that grades for the third quarter of the year were due at the end of the week and every damn teacher decided to assign a test or a project or both. The day was only Monday and Jason already had a disgusting pile of homework in front of him. Apparently no one had told Jason’s teachers that it was the second half of senior year and school no longer mattered.

So, while Nico laid sprawled out very distractingly on the bed reading one of Jason’s personal favorites—Sherlock Holmes—Jason had a far less interesting economics textbook open on his desk. If he looked forward, there were his books on their shelves, crying out to be read. If he turned around, there was Nico di Angelo lounging on his bed, tempting in ways he didn’t even comprehend.

Jason didn’t take his eyes off of the textbook.

“You’ve been staring at that thing for like two hours,” Nico complained.

“No, I was doing statistics and mythology earlier. I still haven’t prepared for physics at all and I have a test Wednesday.”

“I thought you’re a genius, Jason. Aren’t you like, ranked number one in your class?”

“Two, actually. Annabeth is one.”

“Oh, you’re never going to pass her,” it sounded like Nico was smiling, but Jason didn’t dare turn to look.

“No, but I don’t want anyone to pass me, either. Stanford doesn’t accept slackers.”

“I’m bored,” the boy behind him said. Jason heard the bed shifting. He hesitantly spun in his chair to see what Nico was doing and found the smaller boy now standing a foot away, arms crossed over his chest.

“Thirty more minutes and I’ll put the homework away,” Jason promised.

“How about thirty seconds?” Nico smirked, snatching the book away.

“Hey!” Jason protested, ready to start an argument when Nico lowered himself onto Jason’s lap.

“Study break, now,” he demanded. “Just one kiss.”

Jason sure as hell wasn’t about to deny Nico when the boy was basically straddling him.

“I guess I could take a small break,” he allowed, his hands roaming up to Nico’s hips.

Nico grinned like the Cheshire Cat himself before bringing his lips to Jason’s. The blond groaned, his grip on Nico tightening marginally. Jason had tried to maintain control during each of their past kisses—to be a perfectly polite gentlemen. After all, Nico had flipped out the first time Jason kissed him, he could only imagine what the boy would do if Jason got a hard-on. Well, a hard-on when Nico was _awake_ and could _feel_ it.

But, well—Nico was on his _lap._ His tongue grazed Jason’s lips, seeking to deepen the kiss. The older boy opened his mouth without hesitation. Their tongues met in a frenzy while Nico cupped his hand on the back of Jason’s neck to keep the boy close. At the same time he pushed his body against Jason’s, almost as if by accident, causing their lower halves to rub together in a way that made Jason moan into Nico’s mouth. The friction was glorious. Jason felt a stirring in his pants. His hands traveled from Nico’s hips down to his ass and he used this new leverage to rub Nico against him again. And again. All the while, he felt himself becoming more and more aroused.

It wasn’t just him either. Nico gasped into Jason’s lips, grinding against him eagerly. “Jason,” he moaned. Jason strained against his jeans. Yeah, _definite_ erection. But at least Nico seemed to be in the same predicament.

“Fuck,” Jason cursed, tightening his grip on Nico’s ass. So much for being a gentleman. He guided Nico’s movements as they moved their needy lower halves together over and over. Jason started to become lightheaded from the pleasure of it. Nico’s dick, hard in his pants, grinding up against his own. Absolutely intoxicating.

Jason trailed his lips down Nico’s jaw and settled them on the pale expanse of the other boy’s neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses across the delicate skin there. Nico’s legs has ended up around Jason’s torso and it was like the dark haired boy was everywhere, affecting Jason beyond reason.

“Keep your legs around me,” Jason instructed. Then, his mouth still on Nico’s neck and his arms holding the smaller boy up, Jason rose and stumbled the few steps to his bed, sending them tumbling down onto the mattress. He pressed Nico against the blankets, keeping his weight off of him at all places except for where it really mattered. Their lips reunited and Jason felt himself drawing closer and closer to release.

They probably shouldn’t be doing this.

“Oh God,” Nico panted, grabbing at Jason’s hips under his shirt. Jason was vaguely aware that if they didn’t stop what they were doing, he was going to come in his pants like the virgin he was.

They definitely shouldn’t be doing this.

“Jason, I’m gonna—” He thrust his body against Jason’s once more and that was all it took to push Jason over the edge.

Sticky underwear, Jason realized, were not the most comfortable thing.

Nico blushed red all over and Jason decided he should probably get off of him. The younger boy opened his mouth to say something, glanced over at Jason, and let it fall shut. Jason scratched his head. What did one say after completely getting off against their— _boyfriend?_

 _Made him come before defining the relationship,_ Jason mused, ready to slap himself, _Way to go, Jason._

Damn, why did both of them have to be so awkwardly silent?

“That was quite the study break,” Jason said stupidly.

Nico looked at him sideways, like maybe Jason was insane. Then, suddenly, he burst out laughing. Full-on hysterical laughter, tears in his eyes and everything. Jason laughed along with him, because what else was there to do at a time like this?

They laughed until Jason’s sides hurt and Nico had tears all the way down his cheeks. They laughed and laughed until the awkwardness faded away.

 

…

 

After their “study break” both Jason and Nico parted ways to change their underwear. Nico couldn’t stop blushing as he stripped off his pants. Thankfully they were the sweats from Jason. If they had been Leo’s shorts—which Nico slept in—he may have died from embarrassment. At least he hadn’t rutted against the guy he liked in said guy’s best friend’s shorts.

He didn’t really know what to make of what had just happened. Nico definitely enjoyed it—hell, he’d practically been moaning the entire time—but he also worried that he and Jason were moving way too fast. Yes, obviously Nico liked Jason—more than liked him—but this whole thing was still unfamiliar territory for him. He was a virgin. An inexperienced virgin who had made out with all of one guy before Jason in his entire life.

Wasn’t this relationship already complicated enough for Nico? Why the hell did he want to add sexual worries to that list? Sex was a big deal. A huge deal. Especially when having sex with Nico would essentially sign away any chance Jason had at making it out of this mess unscathed. Nico knew how high the stakes were, he knew what Jason was risking even better than Jason did. Nico was supposed to be the responsible one for crying out loud! How was crawling onto Jason’s lap and then grinding against him until they both came at all responsible? Answer: it wasn’t.

But still, Nico didn’t regret it. How could he? He’d just have to be more… cautious. Fooling around in itself wasn’t a bad thing, but it was the first destination on a road going nowhere good. Not for Jason. Not for either of them.

 _I’ll talk to him,_ Nico decided, even though the idea of discussing his apprehension about sex sounded about as fun as sleeping naked in Central Park in the middle on winter.

But maybe Jason would get it. Maybe Nico could have Jason without hurting him. Maybe things could actually go right for once.

Christ, when had he become so optimistic?

 

…

 

Jason actually did try to go back to studying after that. He really did. For almost six whole minutes.

“I can’t focus,” he complained. “Damn you, Nico.”

“What did I do?” The boy asked, pecking him on the cheek.

“Well, for one, you’re standing over my chair and breathing on my neck.”

“Oops?” Nico chuckled, blowing on Jason’s neck because apparently Nico was out to get him.

“You’re pulling me away from my studies again,” Jason turned to squint meanly at him.

“No I’m not,” Nico protested. Jason turned back to his book. Seconds later his chair was being dragged away from the desk. “ _Now_ I’m pulling you away.”

“Smartass,” Jason huffed.

“You couldn’t focus anyway,” Nico shrugged. Jason just shook his head at the boy and got to his feet, kissing him once on the lips.

“Wasn’t that what you said earlier?” Jason teased. “Just one kiss?”

Nico blushed and hit Jason’s arm. “Actually, I need to talk to you about something.”

Jason tensed, lifting his hand to the shorter boy’s cheek. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Nico reassured, “I mean, I’m fine. But uh, it’s important that we talk about this.” He sat at the edge of the bed. Jason plopped down beside him.

“Okay. Shoot,” Jason prompted, trying not to panic. Nico said he was fine. He wasn’t going to try to leave again, right?

Shit, had Jason scared him off?

But no, Nico had been smiling and flirting with him just a minute ago. That wouldn’t make sense.

_Right?_

“I’m a virgin,” Nico blurted.

Jason shrugged. “So am I.”

Nico’s hair went flying as he turned to stare at him. “Wait, you are?”

“I already told you I’ve never been serious about a guy. I wouldn’t just have casual sex with someone.”

Nico chewed his lip momentarily. “I just figured that, well, you seemed to know what you were doing so I guess I—”

Jason laughed. “I did? I’ve never done anything like that before.”

Nico slapped his forehead. “Of course not. Just naturally seductive,” Nico mused to himself.

“I’m not the only one. I do recall you crawling on to my lap.”

Nico rolled his eyes. “Anyway. I brought it up because I don’t want to lead you on or give you false hope or anything but—”

“You don’t want to have sex.” Jason guessed.

“I don’t think we _should,_ ” Nico corrected. “Not now or anytime in the foreseeable future at least. Things are such a fucking mess right now, and when—I mean, _if_ we were to… do that, I wouldn’t want to be worried about my father and the cops and this whole shitty situation. I don’t want that for my first time and just… God, maybe I’m over thinking things or something. I know this conversation may be a little premature, but after what happened tonight I just—I wanted to warn you. If you want to be together… then we can’t—”

 _“Be together,”_ Jason finished.

“Yeah,” Nico muttered.

Jason thought that over for all of three seconds.

“I don’t mind. I’ve been a virgin for seventeen and a half years, being one a little longer isn’t really the end of the world for me. I do agree that we have enough to worry about, but we’re in this together, all right, Nico?”

“All right,” the boy sighed, blushing up at Jason.

“So… what we did earlier… are you saying we can’t do that again?”

The blushing intensified.

“No, I’m not saying that.”

“Just no sex?”

“No sex,” Nico muttered, looking down bashfully.

“It’s a deal,” Jason smirked.

He could wait. He would wait. It wasn’t like Jason thought that Nico was ready to do that anyway. In fact, Jason may have brought up this whole conversation if the other boy hadn’t. He was just happy that Nico was there, with him, trusting him to help, being open about his concerns and problems rather than bottling them up. All of that was enough for Jason.

That didn’t mean that Jason didn’t want Nico more than he’d ever wanted anyone in his life… but he was willing to be patient.

Nico was worth waiting for.

 

…

 

Nico tossed and turned all night long, making it nearly impossible for Jason to sleep. He pulled the smaller boy against him, placing a gentle kiss on the back of his neck.

“You okay?”

Nico sighed. “Do you honestly think we can clear my name, Jason?”

Truthfully, Jason had no idea. He didn’t know how to rescue Nico’s mother, he didn’t know how to prove that Hades, and not Nico, was the murderer, he didn’t even know how long he could keep Nico in his bedroom before his mother noticed.

But God, he knew he would do whatever it took— _whatever_ it took—to do it. He wouldn’t let Nico be taken from him without a fight. And if anyone tried, well, it would be one hell of a fight.

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Nico,” Jason promised, knowing even as he said those words that there was no guarantee that he could keep it.

“What if it’s out of your hands?” He whispered.

“We are going to make it through this.”

“That wasn’t what I asked, Jay…”

Jason let out a deep, tired breath. “Even if it is out of my hands, I’ll try. I’ll fight it.” He kissed Nico softly once more. “I don’t really want my boyfriend to go to prison.”

Nico shot up in bed. “You—you consider me your boyfriend?” The dark haired boy questioned, a smile creeping onto his face. A new, hopeful light began to fill his eyes, making Jason’s heart fill with emotion a million times over. Jason hadn’t even meant to use the word out loud, it just slipped out so naturally. He didn’t regret it though, not for a second. He’d considered Nico his boyfriend ever since they’d confessed their feelings, but had been nervous to actually bring it up with the other boy.

“Yeah, I do. Is that not, like, okay with you? I mean, it’s not like I can take you on real dates or anything but…” By the smile on his face, though, Jason was pretty sure it was perfectly okay with the Italian boy. Rather than say anything, Nico practically flung himself on top of Jason and started kissing him

Jason’s hands twisted into Nico’s hair, holding him close but otherwise giving Nico full power over the kiss. God, this was heaven on earth. Jason had never been so deliriously happy. How did every kiss with Nico leave Jason breathless and out of his mind? How was it that every moment they weren’t touching, Jason wanted to make it so they were. How did holding hands with Nico feel more intimate than any other touch from someone else? Christ, how did Nico drive him so insane?

Nico tensed above him. “Second thoughts?” The older boy inquired, trying not to sound as worried as he actually was.

“No,” Nico breathed, tracing Jason’s lips with his thumb. “It’s just… we’re totally crazy, aren’t we?”

“Insane,” Jason agreed, pecking Nico on the lips.

 

…

 

“So, I know you don’t have a phone or anything, but this website will let you send messages to my phone,” Jason said Wednesday morning, angling his laptop so Nico could see. “You know… just in case you need to reach me. Or just, um, want to talk or something.” His face felt hot.

Nico tested it out briefly, typing in a winking face and sending it to Jason’s phone number. A few seconds later his phone buzzed with the message. Jason pulled Nico—his _boyfriend—_ in for a kiss that was quick but not lacking in enthusiasm.

 _I might be falling in love with you,_ Jason thought suddenly. He shook it away.

“See you after work.”

“Don’t flirt with any guys,” Nico joked.

“Fine with me, I guess I’ll just save all my charm for you.”

“I’m so honored,” Nico rolled his eyes, grabbing at Jason’s shirt collar.

Their lips met one final time—Jason just couldn’t resist—and then he went racing out the door.

 

…

 

“You’ve been grinning at your cell phone for the last ten minutes,” Leo informed Jason as they neared Delphi. “Something that your best friends should know?” Piper had accompanied the boys on their after school walk today. _Someone_ had to help Leo comprehend Hamlet before their test Friday and Jason sure as hell didn’t have the time.

And the reason he didn’t have time was the same reason he had been smiling at his phone. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shrugged, hoping his undoubtedly red face could be blamed on the cold wind assaulting it.

“You and your English textbook getting pretty serious?”

Jason punched his arm.

“No, really Jase, what’s the deal?” Piper asked, leaning over to inspect Jason’s screen. He slid the phone into his pocket quickly. Piper didn’t need to see that Jason had been messaging Nico on and off throughout the entire day.

She gave him a skeptic look. “Really, I was just uh… reading. A story. On my phone. And things were getting a little heated, okay? I don’t need you reading over my shoulder.” It was a complete lie, but they didn’t need to know.

God, he _hated_ lying to his friends. What he really wanted was to sit them down—Piper, mainly—and explain the whole situation, including Jason’s new revelation: that he might be head over heels for Nico. Piper would know what to do, Piper would know what to say, she always knew.

But that was just _not_ going to happen. Jason had already made it crystal clear to Nico that he would do anything he could to protect him, and telling his best friends about the relationship because he wanted to vent was not in Nico’s best interest.

“Reading something dirty?” Leo wiggled his eyebrows.

“Shut up,” Jason mumbled, pretending to be embarrassed.

They arrived at Delphi. “See you later, Jase!” Piper waved as her and Leo continued down the street.

 

                                                                      …                

 

Piper glanced over her shoulder and watched Jason disappear into the bookstore. “He was lying,” she said in a quiet voice.

“How do you know?” Leo gave her a sideways glance.

“He was typing on his phone. Like he was texting, not reading.”

Leo’s shoulders drooped. “I sort of caught him in a lie a few days ago, too,” he admitted.

“When?”

“Well, he was in a fan-tas-tic mood mood on Friday. Like, I even saw him smiling in _physics._ So I asked him why he was so happy and he told me that this Stephen King book he really liked is being adapted into a movie.”

“So? Jason loves Stephen King.”

“Yeah, I know. But for some reason, I felt like he wasn’t being honest, so I went online and searched for news on any of Stephen King’s books being adapted into movies. There was nothing.”

Piper chewed her lip. “This is so unlike him. Do you think he’s… seeing someone?”

Leo shrugged, “That would make complete sense, but then I dunno why he wouldn’t just tell us. Unless it was like, Mr. Blowfis.”

“Ugh, Leo! Don’t be gross!” Piper smacked his shoulder. He laughed.

“Maybe you should talk to him,” Piper sighed.

“Why me? You know more about relationship stuff than I do!” Leo argued.

“Yeah, but I used to _date_ Jason. I don’t think he’d be as likely to talk to me about some secret boyfriend.”

“Maybe we’re reading too much into this,” Leo pondered. Yup, Leo, pondering. A strange day all around.

Piper let out a huge breath, “I hope we are.”

 

…

 

On Thursday afternoon, Jason arrived home to find Nico sprawled across the bed, nose buried in whatever Sherlock Holmes novel he was on now. “Hey, stranger,” he greeted, shutting the door tight behind him. His mother was in her room asleep, or passed out drunk, Jason wasn’t sure if there was a difference with her.

Nico sat up, placing the book on the nightstand beside him. “I thought school was long when I actually _went._ It’s a lot longer when you’re gone and I’m stuck here,” he scowled, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Let me make it up to you,” Jason flashed a playful smile and crawled onto the bed. Nico happily pulled Jason against him and the two started right into the deep kisses.

“Such a kind and giving boyfriend I have,” Nico chuckled as Jason moved southward to suck on the skin at Nico’s collarbone. Jason swiped his tongue over the sensitive skin, causing Nico to grind against the blond.

Sucking harder, Jason coaxed Nico down onto the mattress so his head rested on the pillow. Nico moaned softly and used his hands to bring Jason back up to his lips. Meanwhile Jason had thrown one leg over to the other side of Nico, leaving the smaller boy’s legs to rest between his own.

They started to move against each other, basking in the feeling of their bodies pressed together. Jason, without really meaning to, mused that the whole ordeal would be even better if they were both naked, but didn’t actually suggest it. He was not going to do anything unless he was sure Nico felt comfortable with it.

They rolled over and now Nico was on top with his and Jason’s legs tangled together.

There was no rule against sliding his hand down the back of Nico’s sweatpants, was there?

With only the thin layer of Nico’s briefs between his hand and Nico’s ass, Jason had never felt more alive. Nico gasped against Jason’s lips, not so much as a word of protest spilling from his mouth. Pretty soon, though, there would be definite spilling in Jason’s pants. Nico grinded against the blond with complete abandon, sighing and moaning against Jason’s lips as both of them drifted closer and closer to their climax.

“Fuck, _Nico,_ ” Jason groaned when Nico started moving with more pressure. Jason strained painfully against his jeans, his dick wanting nothing more than to break free from its prison and feel the greatness firsthand.

_Maybe next time, buddy._

“Oh God, Jason,” Nico panted, getting in one last motion before he succumbed to the pleasure. Jason followed right behind him. They fell back on the mattress beside each other, breathing heavily. Jason rolled onto his side and grinned stupidly at his boyfriend. (No, he was not getting tired of using that word.)

“If we keep this up, I’m going to have to start doing laundry _way_ more,” Jason laughed lightly. Nico’s face was bright red, though Jason didn’t know if it was embarrassment or arousal.

“Poor Jason, that sounds absolutely terrible,” he teased. Then, apparently in an affectionate mood, he leaned in and pecked the blond on the cheek. And then the jaw. And then the neck.

“Hey, you can’t get all cuddly on me now. I still have homework.”

“I thought you like cuddly Nico,” he challenged, curling a leg around Jason’s torso.  

“I do, and you’re making it very hard for me to get out of bed right now.”

Nico chuckled, “Making it hard, am I?” He quirked an eyebrow in a manner that was way too seductive for Jason to handle. Seductive and embarrassed and adorable because he was embarrassed by his own skills of seduction and—God. Nico di Angelo.

“Fuck, we’re not going there again. I’m going to go and change and then I’m going to do my homework and then I’ll make you dinner, okay?”

“Forget about making dinner, do delivery. It’s faster.” Nico suggested.

“Deal. But you have to stop distracting me with your sexiness while I’m working.”

Nico snorted, rolling his eyes and freeing Jason from his grip. “I don’t know Jason,” he mumbled, voice dripping sarcasm, “I’m pretty sexy in this plain black t-shirt and these dark stretchy pants. I look extra pale and sickly, my sexiness simply cannot stop.”

“Be quiet, Gorgeous,” Jason pleaded, pressing his lips against the other boy’s once and then disappearing to change his underwear because yeah, said gorgeous teenage boy could be quite seductive.

 

…

 

After dinner was finished—pizza, the delivery food of choice in America—Jason and Nico ended up on the couch in the living room.

Mrs. Grace was out again—shocker of the year—and the apartment belonged to Jason and the darkly beautiful boy he was lowering onto the leather.

“No more studying for Jason Grace?” Nico mocked. “Did you finish reading every page of every textbook? So soon? I’m impressed.”

“No, but you will be,” Jason winked, grabbing Nico at the bend of his legs (shorts now, much more leg to work with)and pulling them around the blue eyed boy’s hips.

“You get that one from a dirty fanfiction or what?” Nico laughed.

“You’re being really mean to me. Maybe I’ll just go to the kitchen and work on statistics.”

“Here’s a statistic, there’s a one hundred percent chance that you’re not getting up,” Nico threatened.

“I don’t think you understand statistics,” Jason whispered.

“Kiss me, you idiot,” Nico groaned, trapping Jason between his legs.

Jason smiled, “How can you say things so bluntly and then blush about it?”

“I’m a contradiction apparently.”

“Perhaps you are,” he muttered, fulfilling the wish and meeting Nico’s waiting lips.

Jason pushed the smaller boy harder into the leather, covering every inch of Nico’s body with his own. The contact drew a positive response from the paler boy, who moaned into Jason’s mouth and pressed their bodies closer together. Jason was at serious risk of developing an erection if they kept this up. Again. _Again._ He locked his hands firmly in Nico’s hair, keeping him in place while they kissed hungrily.

Nico rubbed his hips against Jason, resulting in a small moan escaping his lips.

Yes, Jason was certainly on his way to Erectionville. Damn Nico and his damn unknowing sexiness.

“We probably shouldn’t do this,” Jason mumbled, clinging tighter to the boy beneath him.

“Probably not,” Nico agreed, kissing him anyway.

Jason wasn’t sure how far they were going to go this time, seeing as they were on the couch in his living room, but he was more than willing to let the chips fall where they may.

And then the front door swung open.

“Hey Jason, you know your spare key is still under the—what the _fuck!?_ ”

Leo Valdez.

Jason and Nico sprung apart as fast as they could, reacting as if it was the police, and not a seventeen year old Latino boy, who had come through the door.

Jason looked between Nico and Leo in a moment of utter horror. This—this was bad. No, bad didn’t begin to cover it. A nightmare. An absolute _nightmare._ And Jason couldn’t wake up.

Nico was immobile, unmoving and staring at Leo with wide and terrified eyes.

Leo, on the other hand…

How to describe Leo?

He may have been on the verge of screaming, or passing out, or maybe all ability to reason had fled from his mind and he would stand there in the doorway for the rest of his life wearing a face of complete and utter shock.

“Uh, I can explain?” Jason said uncertainly, still trying to gauge the situation. Leo’s eyes wandered from Nico to Jason and back to Nico again.

Another moment of silence. Then, after what felt like decades, centuries, a millennia, Leo finally spoke. “Well, I just lost a bet.”

 

 


	10. It's Not What It Looks Like (Except, It Sorta Is)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a few hours late. Halloween tonight so I didn’t get home until 2:00am and still had some editing to do. That being said, I’m barely awake and probably didn’t catch every grammar mistake. Sorry! And also sorry that this is sort of a transition chapter… Hope you enjoy anyway!

“So, is this the part where you tell me that this ‘isn’t what it looks like?’” Leo prompted after a good fifteen seconds of silence and staring. “Or I’m actually asleep or something.”

Jason scratched his head, shooting Nico a panicked look. Not that Nico noticed. Since pushing away from Jason, Nico di Angelo might not have moved a single muscle. Terror was clear in his posture. Because, of course, this particular murder suspect was even more afraid of society than society was of him.

“It’s, uh, pretty much what it looks like,” Jason admitted, examining the carpet.

“I see,” Leo said in a high, strung-out voice. Jason wondered if he was going to pass out. “So, one more question… _are you fucking insane, Jason!?!?_ ”

Nico shrunk back. Jason wanted to take his hand or something, comfort him in any way, but figured that now probably wouldn’t be the best time for that.

“It is what it looks like, but it’s not what you think,” Jason said, standing from the couch. “Just—just let me explain, okay?”

“Explain what? At what point you lost your _mind?_ Do you ever turn on the news, Jason? Ever?” Leo’s voice was getting more and more worked up.

“I just need you to calm down and listen for a minute, Leo,” Jason reasoned. “Sit down, okay? We’ll talk.”

“Sit down? On the couch? Where you were just making out with a _murderer?_ ”

“Right here, you know,” Nico rolled his eyes, slipping back into his old defense mechanism. Jason knew it well, Nico played the villain because everyone already assumed he was  anyway. It hurt Jason to see that wall back up.

“Are you going to kill me?” Leo asked.

“Jesus, Leo! Get a grip. No one here is a killer!”

“Oh _really?_ ” Leo shouted, stabbing his finger in Nico’s direction.

“Ass on the couch, Leo!” Jason yelled back. Leo may not have known better, but he was still asking to get slapped. “Shut your mouth for one fucking minute.”

Nico scooted over politely to give Leo his space. The Latino boy gave Jason a look that read _are you serious right now_ and sat as far away from Nico as the couch would allow.

“I better hear the best damn explanation in the world.”

 

…

 

Nico kept switching his focus. One moment his eyes would follow Jason, yearning to reach out to him and take comfort in his presence. The next he’d be back to studying the boy he’d seen and heard, but never actually talked to. Leo Valdez, Jason’s so-called best friend.

It was safe to say that Leo Valdez was not a part of the tiny minority that believed in Nico’s innocence. Whatever. _Joke’s on you, I’m dating your best friend._

But as much as he tried to be calm, Nico felt the stirrings of a panic attack. Someone else knew now. Damn Leo Valdez and damn the damn spare key under the mat. What a stupid fucking place to keep your spare key.

But Jason had told Nico that he wouldn’t let anyone anything happen to Nico. And sure, Jason couldn’t actually guarantee that, but he certainly wouldn’t let his best friend call the cops, right? Jason would talk reason into him. He’d convince Leo not to say anything.

God, he _had_ to. Nico was not going to be arrested because some dumb teenager opened his mouth.

“The first thing you should know is that Nico didn’t kill anyone, he’s innocent,” Jason said gently.

Leo glared sideways at Nico, “Yeah, I’m sure he told you that. Probably said he was a proper angel.”

“His father, Hades, he’s violent. He used to hurt Nico and sometimes Bianca. Things got out of hand one night. He killed Bianca, not Nico. I know you don’t want to believe what I’m telling you, but it’s the truth.”

A very watered down version of the truth, but Nico was grateful for that. He didn’t want this boy knowing all of his darkest secrets.

“And how can you be so sure of that?” Leo asked.            

“Well, I _am_ a shitty liar,” Nico chimed in, struggling to keep his voice flat and not hint at how panicky he was. “A shitty liar with these,” he turned his back to the boys and pulled his shirt up, showing something that even Jason hadn’t seen before.

A back blemished by old, subtle scars. Mostly made by his father’s belt. _Mostly._ Jason sucked in a breath and Nico let the shirt fall, suddenly feeling far too exposed. Jason was one thing, Leo was a stranger.

A stranger who seemed unsure of what to say.

“Okay, abusive father, sure,” Leo finally conceded, “But that doesn’t exactly account for the fingerprints all over the murder weapon.”

Jason glanced sadly at Nico, asking for permission with his eyes.

“Tell him,” Nico mumbled. “Not like we have much of a choice.”

So Jason did.  Though, to his credit, he left out some of the most personal parts. His father making him choose between Bianca and his mother, choosing to save Bianca.

“So Neeks here didn’t actually kill his sister, is what you’re trying to tell me you believe.”

“I don’t believe, I _know,_ Leo.”

The Latino turned to Nico.

“But why would your father kill your sister intentionally if she was his favorite?” Leo prodded.

Nico barely stopped himself from flinching. Why the hell did Leo have to ask him a question directly?

“Because he’s a sick and twisted bastard who wanted to punish me for existing. I don’t fucking know, you want me to send him an email or something?” Nico snapped. “And don’t call me ‘Neeks’ ever again.”

“Well, you’re a pleasant guy.” Leo frowned at his best friend, “Really Jase? He seems kind of homicidal to me.”

Pleasant? Was Nico not _pleasant_ enough for a kid who’d been forced watch his own father stab his sister multiple times? “Do you want me to be homicidal? Because I can make an exception in your case,” he narrowed his eyes.

“ _Nico_ ,” Jason chided. Nico rolled his eyes. What did Jason expect him to do?

 _Sit there quietly and hope Leo doesn’t decide to call the cops, idiot._ The voice of reason reminded.

_Oh, right._

Nico tried for a smile and—nope, smile definitely wasn’t happening. He just grimaced at the wall quietly instead.

“Leo,” Jason pleaded, “I need you to trust me on this. Nico’s father is framing him. Do you really think I’d be letting Nico stay here if I didn’t believe him? He’s been here a month and look, I’m alive. Fuck what the newspapers say, believe _me._ ”

“I’m trying, Jase. You’re my best friend, I trust your judgment, but this is kind of a lot to take in and… did you say he’s been here for a month?”

“How long has it been, Nico?” Jason asked, giving the boy a gentle smile. Nico honestly hadn’t paid much attention to the individual days. He didn’t want to know how many days had passed since Bianca’s death. Though, he definitely thought Jason found him on a Tuesday. How many episodes of Supernatural ago was that?

“Like, a month and a few days,” Nico shrugged.

Leo scrutinized the dark haired boy for a moment. “So… you’re his—what exactly?”

Nico stuttered awkwardly.

“He’s my boyfriend,” Jason said matter-of-factly, a grin finding its way to his face.

Nico couldn’t help but smile with him. “I’m his boyfriend,” he confirmed.

It was official. Someone else in the world knew about Jason and Nico. This was actually real.

“So _you’re_ the English textbook,” Leo said, which Nico guessed was a reference to something, but he still didn’t understand anything that came out of this boy’s mouth. Mild-mannered Jason was best friends with a lunatic and dating a criminal. Wow, maybe there _was_ a flaw or two in all that perfection.

“Leo, you can’t say _anything._ Please. No one knows. You can’t even tell Piper. It’s dangerous for everyone involved if Nico is found.”

Leo looked back and forth between the two boys again and heaved a great sigh, “Fine, date your wanted criminal who apparently isn’t a criminal. I would never say anything, Jase. Not if it’d hurt you or get you into trouble. _But,_ ” he jabbed his finger at Jason, “I ever catch you lying to me again I’m making copies of your spare key and handing them out to homeless people.”

“Actually, you’re handing back the spare key right now and never using it again because there are these magical things called cell phones and knocking,” Jason corrected.

Leo hung his head and handed back the key. “So we’re definitely rejecting the Neeks nickname then?” He asked, swerving to face Nico.

“We’re not friends.”

“Well, not yet, but we’ll work on it. I mean, you know, since you’re dating my best friend and all.”

Nico scowled at Jason, “I didn’t sign up for this.”

The blond chuckled and stole a kiss on Nico’s cheek, “Leo isn’t as obnoxious as he seems, usually.”

Nico would have been happy to guide Jason down to his lips and kiss him all night long, if not for Leo being there.

“Obnoxious isn’t the word I’d use,” he grumbled.

“I think you’re going to warm up to me,” Leo proclaimed.

“So will Antarctica, eventually,” he retorted.

The Latino boy clutched at his chest. “Nico! You wound me!”

“You must piss him off, Leo. Nico’s actually a softie most of the time,” Jason smirked.

“Please, spare me the details,” Leo groaned. “Can I get off of your make out couch now? I feel dirty.”

“Yes, please get off the couch,” Nico invited.

“See, you’re warming up to me already! Pretty soon we’ll be braiding each other’s hair, having sleepovers…”

“Stop talking.”

Leo pouted. “He’s kind of feisty. And small. Is this your way of telling me that _I’m_ your type, Jason?”

Nico didn’t _mean_ to shoot Leo the murder eyes.

Probably.          

Still, he felt the sudden urge to wrap his arms around the blond’s torso and hiss in Leo’s direction.

“You’re an idiot, Leo,” Jason sighed. Nico couldn’t agree more. He wasn’t jealous of Leo per se, that would be stupid. Leo was a straight dumbass who was best friends with Jason. No competition there. But the comment did get Nico thinking about if Jason _did_ have a type, and how well Nico would fit into that description. “What were you doing just waltzing into my apartment in the first place? Unannounced? At night? After I told you to stop just taking my key?”

Leo gave an ashamed half-smile, “Oh, I was supposed to interrogate you. Piper and I kind of think you’ve been acting shifty. Shit, I’m going to need to figure out what to say to Pipes.”

Jason groaned.

Leo’s eyes shifted back to the youngest boy.

“Hey, uh, is Nico wearing my shorts?”

 

…

 

“Bye, Leo, see you in the morning,” Jason called, finally shoving Leo out the door.

“Yeah, see ya Jaso—” The door shut in his face.

Jason let out a relieved sigh. After getting a little more comfortable about the situation, Leo had taken to asking Nico a million and one questions about what happened while he was on the streets. He’d been pretty bummed to learn that Nico hadn’t grappled with any sewer alligators. While Jason appreciated that Leo seemed to be accepting Nico, he couldn’t say that the latter shared the sentiment. Nico answered Leo’s questions with annoyance and even sometimes downright hostility, and that was why after fifteen minutes Jason had decided it was time for Leo to go.

“ _That_ is your best friend?” Nico rubbed his temple.

“Ah, Leo just takes a little getting used to. He’s actually really cool,” Jason assured, returning to his boyfriend. He could still barely believe it. Someone knew, not just that Nico was in Jason’s home, but that they were _together_. And, while Leo may have severely freaked out about it at first, he seemed to more or less accept it.

“He’s insufferable.”

 “Well, a lot of getting used to. I wish you could have met him under better circumstances.”

“You should really consider finding a new place for your key,” Nico suggested, scooting closer to the blond. Jason’s heart thumped loudly in his chest, like just being around Nico turned up the volume of his heartbeats to full blast.

“I definitely should,” Jason agreed, kissing Nico’s cheek. The boy still seemed on edge, though.

“He’s not going to tell anyone, Nico. We can trust him,” he promised, brushing his fingers through Nico’s hair.

“Maybe he won’t _mean_ to tell anyone. But, well, it’s one more person who could slip up. Make a mistake. And one more person who could get hurt for it. He’s putting his ass on the line for me,” Nico mumbled, burying his face in the crook of Jason’s neck. Jason looped his arms around him.

“He’s putting his ass on the line for both of us. He knows what could happen if things don’t end well.”

Jason had never considered keeping Nico’s secret a burden. But of course, why would he? He wanted to be with Nico, he was crazy about him. He might have even loved him. Jason didn’t care about putting himself in danger to help Nico. He’d do it in a heartbeat.

But Leo? Leo never needed to be involved in this. Leo hadn’t found Nico in the streets. Leo hadn’t taken Nico in and developed feelings for him. Leo got pulled into this mess because he was friends with Jason. Leo hadn’t even had a choice.

Jason had a choice. Jason could have believed the news. Turned Nico in. Went home and went on with his life. But he had chosen a different path. He had _chosen_ the harder one.

Leo didn’t have an out. If he turned Nico in, then Jason, Leo’s best friend, would be caught harboring a wanted murderer. If he kept the secret, then Leo was also helping to conceal a wanted murderer.

And _that—_ knowing that Leo could get hurt from all of this, hurt protecting Jason—was Jason’s burden to carry.

God, why did that fucking idiot just feel the need to barge in places whenever he pleased? Now he could get hurt because of his lack of a brain.

Was that how Nico felt about Jason?

As if reading his mind, Nico pulled Jason tighter against him. “I know that look. That’s the I feel like shit look.”

Jason pecked a kiss on the shorter boy’s nose and hugged him tightly. “I wish he didn’t have to be involved in this. But you know, it does kind of feel good to have someone know about us.”

“Oh yeah, that went great. ‘Hey, Leo, meet my psychopath murderer boyfriend!’” Nico rolled his big dark eyes at Jason.

“Sometimes I think you forget that you didn’t actually murder anyone.”

“Didn’t I?” Nico whispered.

“Stop doing that. You torture yourself.”

Jason decided it was a good time to change the subject, so he leaned Nico against the door and brought their lips together in a searing kiss.

Nico di Angelo wasn’t the only person capable of providing effective distractions.

 

…

 

Leo stood waiting for Jason outside of his apartment building with a knowing smile the following morning. “Did you say goodbye to your English textbook—OW!” He yelped as Jason slapped him upside the head.

“That’s for using the key and barging in unannounced.”

“I guess I deserve that.”

“Yeah, you do.” Jason did it again.

“OW! Fuck, Jason! What was that one for?” Leo demanded, rubbing at the back of his head.

“For barging in unannounced. While I was making out with my boyfriend.”

Leo frowned, “Are you going to hit me again?”

“No,” Jason sighed, “But I am still mad at you.”

“I won’t say anything, Jase. I mean it. I really do. I’m not _that_ much of a bonehead.”

“Are you sure about that?” Jason asked as they rounded the corner.

“Watch it, Grace. Look, I trust you. You’re my best friend. And I may not trust _him_ exactly, but I do believe him. Seems to me that if he wanted to kill someone, he’d just sass them to death—OW! _Jason!_ ”

“You were asking for it that time,” Jason smirked. Leo held his hand to his head protectively.

“Note to self, no jokes about the English Textbook.”

“Stop calling him that,” Jason rolled his eyes. “He has a name, you know.”

“Oh, you’d rather me call him by name? On these streets?” Leo gestured around them, where people were talking on phones and crossing the street and hailing cabs and hurrying to work.

“Point taken.”

“Dude, I still can’t believe it. You and him. The two of you. _Together._ I mean, I heard rumors that he swung that way, but what _haven’t_ I heard a rumor about?”

“It’s almost like you’re enjoying this,” Jason observed.

“Well, I’m not sure what my thoughts are on your secret boyfriends thing, but it _is_ kind of funny in a fucked-up way. I mean, I never in a million years would have guessed that you and him would—”

“Shut up,” Jason snapped, “And it’s not funny, either. The guy I lo— _like_ could be arrested if the cops find him, and even worse if his father does.”

“Were you just about to say love?” Leo asked, a smile creeping onto his face.

“No,” Jason answered a little too quickly. Leo inclined an eyebrow but let the subject drop.

“And I wasn’t saying that his situation is funny. It’s funny that boring ‘I just want to stay at home and read’ Jason has been keeping scandalous secrets and engaging in forbidden love affairs.”

“Still not laughing,” Jason huffed.

“And you’ve got it _so_ bad for him, too. I mean, you two were _all_ over each other. My eyes cannot un-see the couch encounter, you know.”

“That’ll teach you the importance of knocking,” Jason said harshly. Then he tried not to blush because Leo was right, Jason did have it “so bad” for Nico.

“So he’s been in your apartment for a month?”

Jason nodded, “Yeah. Remember the day where I stopped by Delphi before school to get the new book? I found him on the way home from work.”

Leo shook his head, “Jase, you do realize how stupid you were to just pluck him up off the street, right? What if he really had been a killer?”

“I trusted him then, I trust him now. You just don’t know him like I do.”

“We talking in the Biblical sense? Because I don’t think I want to _know him_ like that,” Leo shared.

Jason couldn’t stop the blush. “You’re sick! That’s not what I meant. We haven’t even…”

“Had sex? In a month? What, are you nuns?” The shorter boy scoffed.

Jason flushed an even deeper red, though he wasn’t sure if it was out of embarrassment or anger.“We haven’t been together the entire time, Leo! We didn’t even really get along at first, for crying out loud.”

“You sure seem to be getting along now…”

“We literally kissed for the first time two weeks ago. Excuse me for not rushing to have sex with an emotionally traumatized teenage boy who thinks he’s going to indirectly kill me,” Jason blurted. 

“Wait, what?” Leo snapped to attention.

“Long story,” he dismissed.

“Don’t ‘long story’ me. I thought I told you no more lying.”

The taller boy shrugged, “I prefer to think of this as selective sharing. Look, it doesn’t matter. It’s just, well, people close to Nico have a habit of getting hurt.”

“You sure you know what you’re doing, Jase?” Leo gave him a skeptic look. “You know I’m the guy who would drive your getaway car if you decided to rob a bank, but this—this is some serious stuff, man.”

Did Jason know that Hades was a dangerous man? Yes, obviously. Did he know that he should be wary of the di Angelo patriarch? Naturally. Did Jason actually think that he was putting himself in danger? Possibly. Was he afraid? Not at all.

“I’m positive, Leo. Now, more important matters… what exactly are you going to say to Piper?”

 

…

 

 **How was your test this morning?** Nico messaged after the bell signaling the end of fourth period rang.

**_Easy enough. But for some reason I kept getting distracted ;)_ **

**Sounds like a personal problem,** Nico teased. Jason wished that it could be the end of the day already and not just lunch.

 ** _Maybe if you just learned not to make it so hard for me to focus and study…_** Jason sent back, barely looking up as he navigated the halls.

**Maybe I like to make it hard ;)**

Jason’s face flushed with heat. **_Stop flirting with me! I’m in school._**

**:) See you later, Jason**

“You’re blushing like a schoolgirl,” Leo chuckled as he took his seat at their lunch table.

“Am not,” Jason protested.

 _“Who do you think you’re kidding, he’s the earth and heaven to you.”_ The curly haired boy sang.

“This isn’t Hercules. Piss off.”

“On the contrary, I think your life is becoming one big musical. The question is, are you the prince or the princess?”

“I’m going to kill you,” Jason groaned.

_“Try to keep it hidden, honey, we can see right through you. Girl you can’t deny it.”_

“You’re ridiculous.”

_“We know how you feel and who you’re thinking of.”_

“What’s he going on about today?” Piper asked, plopping down in the seat across from Jason and Leo.

“What is Leo ever going on about?” Jason laughed, hoping he didn’t sound nervous.

“Good point. So what are you doing this weekend?”

Jason shrugged. _You know, probably making out with my secret boyfriend, maybe even a little more than that if I’m lucky._

“I’m asking on behalf of Mitchell. He’s on spring break next week like us. He’s getting here tomorrow afternoon and he’s going to be here all week. He wants to see you.”

Leo choked on his water, spitting half of it onto the table.

“Ugh, Leo! Gross!” Piper whined.

Jason barely noticed. Mitchell. Mitchell was coming to town. Mitchell—who had ended up having a pretty heated make-out session with Jason the last time they were around each other—wanted to see Jason.

A month and a half ago, this may have been good news. Piper’s cousin was cute enough, dark hair, sarcastic smile, a nice, lean body (Shit, maybe Jason _did_ have a type). But this wasn’t a month and a half ago. Jason had Nico and he certainly didn’t want to see anyone else. He and Mitchell had only had a thing for the short event that was Piper’s family reunion and that had been that. The boys lived on opposite sides of the country and the attraction was mostly physical anyway if Jason was being honest.

“He wants to see me?” Jason repeated. Leo looked either ready to laugh or start choking all over again.

“Yeah, so I told him that maybe tomorrow night or Sunday we could hang out, go see a movie or something.”

“I don’t know, Pipes. I mean, I think it’d be kind of awkward. And Thalia is going to be in town too for a few days so I’ll want to see her, of course. I don’t really know how I feel about seeing Mitchell.”

_Because I have a boyfriend and I might be head over heels for him._

“But—I thought you two kind of hit it off…” Piper frowned a little.

“I don’t know.”

Leo decided to intervene, thankfully. “Come on, Pipes, he is your cousin. And you and Jason used to date. And now you’re best friends. I think that would be weird. If Mitch and Jase were like, a thing. And he lives in Los Angeles.”

Jason nodded. “Yeah, that’s the other side of the country. Trust me, I would know.”

“But we could still all hang out, it doesn’t have to be like a romantic thing,” Piper clarified, unscrewing the top on her water bottle.

“I’ll think about it,” he sighed.

He wasn’t going to think about it.

Jason’s phone vibrated in his pocket again. Hadn’t Nico just said goodbye? Did he sense that another guy was trying to slip into the picture?

But no, it was just a text from his mother.

** Spending a few nights at a friend’s house in East Village. When I get home I want laundry done and the floor vacuumed. The house is a mess.  **

Jason huffed and placed his phone down on the table harder than necessary. “My mom pisses me off.”

Piper and Leo gave him sympathetic frowns. They knew what Jason went through with his mother. There had been so many times over the past years that Jason had just considered moving out. Getting emancipated. Running away and leaving her to her own devices.

But he just… couldn’t bring himself to do it. Jason was the only form of authority in his mother’s life, the only one who bothered to even try and keep her the littlest bit in line. The one who helped get her to the hospital the time she nearly died from alcohol poisoning last winter.

It was almost humorous. Jason’s family was one of the biggest factors that made Jason want to leave New York, but it was also one of the only things holding him there.

No, that was a lie. Someone else had been tethering Jason to New York as of late, a certain Nico di Angelo and his brooding dark eyes.

Actually, that gave Jason an idea. 

 

…

 

Nico may or may not have been listening intently for the sound of the door, signaling Jason’s return home from school. It was already after four, but Jason had sent him a text warning that he would be a little late. Still, how late was a little? Nico had started to get jittery, a side effect of spending too much time alone. Sometimes he wondered if Jason was the only glue holding all of his broken pieces together. Jason and his stupid tendency to hope.

This must have been what it felt like to be a drug addict, Nico mused. Always needing a hit, getting shaky when he went too long without it. Yeah, Nico was definitely becoming a Jason addict. Damn it, there was no way this was healthy.

_Stop. Stop. Stop._

God, if Jason was a drug then he had to be the best drug in the world. Like a drug that cured cancer or something. Yup, because that made complete sense.

Why did it just have to feel so damn good when Nico was around the blond haired boy? Why did Nico feel so light and happy and optimistic when Jason held him in his arms? Honestly, it was so fucking cliché. Nico was the desperate teenage girl in some shitty paranormal romance novel, waiting for his boyfriend to come around like some pathetic needy girlfriend.

Nico finally heard the sound of footsteps in the living room and a door being shut. The faint jingle of keys falling onto a table.

_Stay cool, di Angelo._

It sounded like Jason had stopped in the kitchen for some reason. Nico waited like the patient and totally not obsessed person he liked to believe he was. Finally, _finally,_ the footsteps moved toward the hallway leading to Jason’s room, each footfall on the hardwood making Nico’s heart thud _that_ much harder in his chest. Perhaps his heart desired to break out entirely and go live in Jason’s chest instead. At least, that was how his madly beating heart was acting.

The bedroom door had just barely started to open inward when Nico yanked the object of his affection in by the collar and slammed the door shut once more. “Hey Nic—” The blue eyed boy’s greeting was silenced as Nico crashed his lips against Jason’s.

Okay, maybe Nico was a little eager this afternoon. He’d dwell on that later.

There was a gentle thud as Jason released whatever he had been holding and instead wrapped his arms around Nico’s thinner frame. God, Jason Grace’s lips were sinful. Sure, Nico didn’t have a long list of past guys to compare Jason to, but he didn’t need a list to prove that his boyfriend—he was still getting used to that word applying to Jason—was an exceptional kisser. He didn’t possess that same awkward uncertainty that Nico often seemed to struggle with. Jason always knew where to place his hands, how to maneuver his tongue, when to pull back and let Nico catch his breath. The fact that Jason claimed to have little experience with this stuff only made matters worse, because that meant this guy was just a fucking natural and God only knew how crazy he could drive Nico with a little more practice. Damn perfect Jason Grace.

“I like forward Nico,” Jason chuckled when the kiss broke, sounding maybe a little breathier than usual. The younger boy, having lost the earlier burst of confidence, felt his face get hot.

“I uh… happy spring break,” he mumbled.

“I have a surprise for you,” Jason announced. “Well, kind of a surprise. For later. But first…” he brought his lips back to Nico’s. Nico almost got lost in the kiss all over again before he processed the words.

“A surprise?” He tried to pull away only to have the blond chasing after his mouth, planting kiss after kiss on Nico’s lips.

“Later,” Jason insisted, quitting on the small kisses and going instead for a deeper one. Seeming to realize that they were still standing by the door, Jason started to move in the direction of the bed, maintaining the kiss the entire time. Nico tried not to focus on the never lessening surreal feeling of Jason kissing him. After two whole weeks of this, it had come to the point where Nico could be pretty sure that this wasn’t all some elaborate dream. Even his brain couldn’t think up someone this amazing. Nico had always dominated in the shitty luck department. His entire life had been crappy thing after crappy thing thrown at him. But this? A guy just as gorgeous on the inside as he was on the outside who for reasons unknown wanted Nico as his boyfriend? Nico could hardly believe that something like this would ever happen to a guy like him. Which only begged the question, _why me?_ But no—Nico was not going to dwell on that any more for now because now Jason was on top on him and kissing him like his life depended on it and honestly, Nico could barely manage coherent thoughts.

Fifteen minutes and a new pair of underwear later, the little make-out session came to an end. “I got you something on my way home today,” Jason announced, returning to whatever it was he’d dropped by the bedroom door. Nico now realized it was a shopping bag.

“Oh no, what did you do?” The Italian boy sighed.

“Put this on,” Jason thrust the bag at him.

“Jason, I swear if this is some kinky fucking costume I’ll—”

Blue eyes fell shut while Jason laughed. “No, no. I promise it’s perfectly innocent. Tonight,” he declared, pecking Nico once on the lips, “Is our first date, we will be going out to a very glamorous place called my kitchen and then we’ll catch a movie in my living room.”

“How romantic.” Nico just shook his head at the boy, and maybe he was smiling but that didn’t mean he thought Jason’s idea was cute. No, Jason was a dork. Nico was not pulled in by his adorable little sentiments because that would mean Nico was a complete mushball and Nico was _not_ a mushball.

Okay, maybe he kind of was, but that didn’t mean he needed to let Jason know.

“Wear the clothes,” Jason repeated, and this time Nico grudgingly took the bag.

“Anything else?” He asked.

“You aren’t allowed to leave the room until I come pick you up for our date.”

Nico raised an eyebrow. “Where’s your mom?”

“Apparently not home this weekend.” Nico wasn’t sure how to feel about the mischievous glint in his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Oh,” Nico nodded. “Well, I guess I better shower or whatever. You know, for our date.”

The smirk that had been resting on Jason’s lips turned into a full smile. “See you later, cutie.”

“Don’t call me that,” Nico shoved him, which somehow earned him another one of Jason’s kisses.

“Whatever you say, Nico.”

The dark-haired boy blushed.


	11. Dating di Angelo (Well, Kind Of)

While their dinner finished cooking, Jason dressed in Thalia’s former bedroom. He buttoned his shirt—a light blue dress shirt he couldn’t actually remember ever wearing—and wondered why his hands were shaking so much. It was just Nico. They’d shared a bed for the last two weeks, for crying out loud! The two of them had been eating dinner together for a month. He shouldn’t be so nervous about eating dinner with Nico just because it was now being called something else. Not to mention the fact that this had been Jason’s idea to begin with.

Of course, it didn’t help that Jason was absolutely fucking crazy about this guy.

And, well—that did nothing to calm his nerves.

Jason was completely aware that Nico might be right, maybe he was a reckless idiot. But even if that were so, even with so much on the line, Jason couldn’t turn back. He didn’t want to.

So, fucked up situation or not, Jason and Nico were going to go on a date, damn it.

_Then stop being so panicky, nimrod._

He tucked the shirt into his pants—they were doing this date right—and took a deep breath before going to finish dinner.

 

…

 

The unruly mess that Nico grudgingly had to call his hair simply would not cooperate with him. Worrying about it lately hadn’t exactly been a priority. But now? Now he was about to go on a stupid sorta date with his stupid sorta boyfriend and he was wearing a black dress shirt and black pants and he may have even looked half-handsome if it weren’t for the fucking mop on his head. He’d already been nearing haircut time before he ran away. And that was, what?

Nearly seven weeks ago.

Bianca had been dead for over six weeks.

Nico leaned against the mirror, breathing deeply.

On one hand, it felt like a lifetime. On the other, it seemed like only yesterday. He’d been homeless, terrified, nearly too depressed to carry on. He’d been freezing, hungry, and completely, utterly alone. And then he hadn’t been. Then suddenly, like a supernova exploding into his life, came Jason. And despite his efforts, Nico had developed feelings for him. Strong feelings. Frighteningly strong.

When he’d told Jason they were crazy, he’d meant it whole heartedly. Nico—Nico had lost his mind over this boy. Out of all the fucked up things that Nico had to stress over, all of the problems he couldn’t overcome, all he could think about was Jason. Jason calling Nico his boyfriend. Jason promising to fight to keep Nico by his side. Jason’s hands as they moved from his hair and down his back, making his whole body shiver. Jason whispering in his ear, “Don’t leave me, Nico. Please don’t leave me,” like he had last night as they’d fallen asleep. It had made Nico feel… something.

This feeling stirring inside of him, he’d felt it that night Jason called him his boyfriend. He’d felt it when Jason told Nico he was okay with not having sex. He’d certainly felt it when Jason arrived home this afternoon.

And he finally realized what it was.

Just like that, the ground appeared out of the darkness and Nico crashed into it with the force of an asteroid.

And Nico realized he wasn’t actually falling for Jason.

He had already fallen. Hard. With so much force that every bone in his body felt shattered. He didn’t know if he could ever get up, if he even wanted to…

He, Nico di Angelo, was in love with Jason Grace.

The feeling, the unidentifiable feeling, was love. Not love for a mother or a sister or a friend. Head-spinning, heart-racing, stomach-turning love.

And Nico felt equally elated and sick about it.

How could he have the one person who he loved more than anything taken from his life only to have a new love sneak in and take root. How could he possibly love Jason?

There was a knock at the bedroom door. A second later, a blond head poked into the room and grinned widely.

Oh God, how could he _not_ love him?

“Wow, you look great,” Jason exclaimed, looking Nico up and down as he stepped all the way into the room. The younger boy blushed.

“Look at my hair, I look ridiculous,” he complained. His eyes lingered on Jason, “Unlike you.” Shit, Jason was sexy. How had Nico ever managed to get the gorgeous boy’s attention?

 _Sleeping under his nose,_ pessimistic Nico thought.

“You don’t look ridiculous,” the blue-eyed boy promised. “But—” he came forward, running his fingers along Nico’s hips. Nico swallowed a pleasured groan.

“What are you doing?” He demanded.

Jason smirked, gathering the hem of Nico’s black shirt and tucking it into his pants. Then he let his hands linger there for a moment, _in_ Nico’s pants.

_Holy fucking hell._

“Now you look even better,” he chuckled, stealing a quick kiss. “Ready?”

The dark haired boy shuddered, suddenly unsure if he wanted the whole date thing. Now his heart was set on getting Jason’s hands back in his pants.

The hands of the boy he loved. _Fuck._

Out loud he said, “You this forward with all your first dates, Grace?”

“Well, I’d say we’re pretty… familiar with each other,” the taller boy stated, gliding his fingers up Nico’s torso.

“Are you _trying_ to seduce me?” The smaller boy questioned, hating how unsteady his voice sounded.

“Sorry,” Jason blushed, “Let’s get out of our bedroom, maybe?”

_Our bedroom, as in both of us?_

“That may be wise. It _is_ only our first date, I can’t have you thinking I’m easy,” Nico teased, trying to brush off what Jason had implied.

“Wow” was all he could say as Jason led him into the living room. The lights in the living room were dimmed—fucking rich people—and there were candles lit everywhere. The kitchen was equally romantically lit and the table set with fancy plates that Nico hadn’t seen Jason use before. The twilight sky glowed through every window. Somehow, Jason had actually made the apartment feel like a different place.

“I know it’s not, like, an actual restaurant, but I hope it will do.”

“You never get tired of being amazing, do you?” Nico sighed, pulling the blond to him for a brief kiss.

“Always happy to amaze,” he smirked.

Dinner was grilled lemon and herb chicken that Jason insisted wasn’t store bought that way, Italian bread, mashed potatoes, and cooked vegetables. Nico had never been aware that grilled zucchini was so delicious.

“So,” Nico prompted, cutting off a piece of his chicken, “Tell me, is there anything you aren’t good at?”

Jason flashed a toothy smile, “I’m a pretty awful singer. Piper says I make her ears sad.”

Nico tried not to frown at the mention of Piper. They were just friends. He shouldn’t be jealous. Yeah, they’d dated before, but Jason was gay. Jason didn’t like girls, he liked Nico.

Except, Piper was beautiful, probably a lot more likeable than Nico, and most importantly, she didn’t come with half as much baggage.

And yet, Nico was the one sitting at Jason’s kitchen table on a date with him on a Friday night, not Piper. That had to mean something, right?

“Can’t sing? I’m afraid that’s too much, Jason. I’m leaving you and your flawed self,” he rolled his brown eyes at his boyfriend.

“You know, I wish you wouldn’t act like I can do no wrong. It’s going to make me feel like shit when I mess up,” Jason admitted, eyes serious. “I’m only human, you know.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Jason shook his head. “I’ll have you know, the second boy I ever kissed realized he was straight after kissing me.” Nico choked on a mouthful of bread.

“You’re serious?” He sputtered in disbelief. _Jason_ was the second boy Nico had ever kissed, and it hadn’t made him want to change teams.

“You probably wouldn’t know him. We played football together, and summer after freshman year, I already knew I was gay at this point, I’d even broken up with Piper, Jake and I—Jake Mason was the guy—were just throwing a ball around. I didn’t like football anymore by this time, but I liked hanging out with Jake. He confided in me that day that he was thinking of breaking up with his girlfriend, too. He wasn’t sure if hewanted to be with girls. So, I stupidly decided to kiss him. And you know what, he decided he didn’t want to break up with his girlfriend after all. Never talked to me again. At the end of sophomore year his family moved to Boston.”

“What an asshole,” Nico exclaimed, surprised to find that he wasn’t the least bit jealous that Jason had kissed more boys than Nico. At least Luke, the only other guy Nico had kissed, hadn’t been a complete jerk. “And an idiot.”

Jason smiled and shrugged, “It’s no big deal. I got over it. We wouldn’t have worked out even if he _was_ gay, he didn’t like Casablanca.”

The dark-haired boy rolled his eyes. Then, unable to stop himself he asked, “So I get that you haven’t had a boyfriend, but how many guys did you actually, you know…”

“Kiss?” Jason prompted. “Three. None of them were special.”

“So who were the other two? It’s only fair, since you know a bit about the other guy _I_ kissed.”

Jason tore off a chunk of bread. “The first guy’s name was Apollo. It was sort of like the Jake situation, I guess. I’m kind of ashamed because I was still technically dating Piper. But I was at this party and I think he sensed the gay on me. We started flirting and he asked if my girlfriend knew I liked boys. I said I’d never actually kissed a boy before, as if that somehow made me straight. Apollo was eighteen, but that didn’t seem to deter him. So he kissed me. It was really awkward, I had no idea what I was doing, but I definitely knew I was gay after. Piper and I broke up not long after that.” The blond blushed.

“The third guy was actually Piper’s cousin, Mitchell. At their family reunion. We were bored, we made out. Nothing special. At least your guy was special to you, right?”

Nico’s heart lurched. The icy blue eyes, the lean, long body, the way he and Nico would kiss. _Luke._ He would never forgive himself for what happened to Luke. “Yeah, Luke was… special, I guess. Though, not as much as you,” he admitted, joining Jason in the blushing game.

“How did you meet him—Luke?”

Nico swallowed hard. Jason deserved to know, as much as Nico wished he didn’t have to talk about it.

“At my middle school, we were all assigned a high school mentor on the last day of eighth grade. A rising senior at the neighborhood high school who we were supposed to get to know over the summer so we could go into school without being so frightened or whatever. Mine was… Luke.” Jason raised his eyebrows. “Don’t look at me like that Jason, he was seventeen, his birthday wasn’t until May.”

“Hey, who am I to judge? I kissed an eighteen year old when I was fourteen. I guess I’m just surprised that your mentor put the moves on you.”

Nico had been surprised, too. Luke was attractive, confident, and everyone seemed to like him. Scrawny fourteen year old Nico never imagined that Luke would go for someone like him. And yet—

“I know how it sounds, but it wasn’t like that. Hey, maybe I was a little surprised when my _seemingly uninterested secret roommate_ put the moves on me…”

Jason laughed. “Okay, you got me. Continue.”

“Anyway, we would just hang out casually, like friends. Luke would talk about high school, he was on the soccer team. And bisexual, which apparently had made some of his teammates feel weird around him. He knew I wasn’t straight before I could even admit it to myself. But, well, he liked girls _and_ boys and things were okay for him. I started to feel like things could be okay for me, too. So, one day, he brings me to one of those public fields and teaches me a few things about soccer. I could have cared less about kicking a ball across a field, but he was really excited about it, and that made me excited.” He paused, clearing his throat. Part of Nico worried that once Jason knew more of the story, he would change his mind about Nico. Funny how the thing Nico had once hoped would happen now terrified him beyond words.

“He drove me home after we played—he actually had a car, which I remember thinking was pretty cool—and when he pulled up in front of my building that day, he uh, kissed me. After that day, most of our mentor meetings consisted of making out in his car. That was kind of all, no dates or anything. Just kissing in his car. Until one night when my dad came outside and—” Nico’s voice cracked. “You know the rest. Got transferred to Goode, never talked to Luke again. Though, I saw him once. I hid. I couldn’t bear to actually face him. His scar…”

Jason reached across the table and took Nico’s hand in his own. “I doubt he blames you for what happened.”

Nico looked down. He couldn’t let himself get emotional about this all over again. Crying over a (sort of?) ex was not how he wanted to spend his night with Jason. Not trusting his voice, the boy just shrugged.

“Okay, enough with the heavy,” the blue-eyed boy announced, squeezing Nico’s hand gently. “How about something happy?”

Nico released a bitter laugh, “Happy, my specialty.”

“Something must make you happy,” he smiled. _You. I love you._

Now that he had allowed that thought in, it ran rampant through his mind. He loved Jason. He undeniably loved the boy across from him.

Nico knew he was blushing. “Nope,” he teased, “Nothing comes to mind.”

Jason shook his blond head and stood up, crossing over to Nico’s side of the table. Leaning down so his face hovered just inches above Nico’s, he whispered, “Nothing at all? No one in particular comes to mind?”

“Well, there is this one guy I kind of like, but he’s _so_ fucking annoying…”

“Uh huh, whatever Nico,” the standing boy leaned in and erased any space between the two teenagers’ lips. Nico intended to roll his eyes and shove his gorgeous boyfriend away, but once Jason’s tongue brushed over Nico’s bottom lip, that plan went flying out the window. Instead, Nico found himself pulling Jason closer, his fingers interlocked behind the taller boy’s neck to prevent his escape.

The angle was kind of awkward, and it made Nico smile. This was the exact position they’d been in the first time Jason kissed him. Had that really only been two weeks ago?

Too soon, Jason pulled back. “Hmm, perhaps the middle of this fancy restaurant is not the most appropriate time to make out?”

Nico narrowed his eyes at the blond. “Are you serious, right now?”

Jason flashed his teeth in a charming grin, “Hey, I’m trying to make this date as real as possible.”

“Teasing me is just a bonus, then?”

Jason winked, returning to his seat. “You could say that. Now, how about I tell you about the time I thought I could fly…”

 

…

 

“So that’s how I ended up in the hospital with a broken leg. Let’s just say, Dad wasn’t too happy with me,” Jason shared animatedly, bringing a forkful of cheesecake (store-bought, Jason wasn’t _that_ good a cook) to his mouth.

“Well, at least it wasn’t an actual building. Although I don’t know why you wouldn’t just wait for someone to get you _out_ of the tree,” Nico shook his head, but Jason knew he was trying not to smile.

“I was nine, do you really think I was just going to sit in that God-awful tree all day? We were on vacation. I wanted to get a move-on.”

“Something tells me the broken leg put a damper on that plan,” the younger boy joked, reaching across the table for Jason’s hand. Jason happily interlocked their fingers. He didn’t care that Nico was teasing him, this had so far been a perfect night. Had Jason ever seen Nico in such a good mood? It was a miracle he’d been able to stop himself when they’d kissed earlier. As it was, Jason was eager to end the date and go back to their room for some more intimate time.

Shit, Jason may have been on the same page as Nico about the whole waiting on sex thing—he had enough on his mind without the prospect of having sex for the first time—but that didn’t mean he didn’t desire the Italian boy. A lot.

His mind drifted back to earlier when he’d tucked in Nico’s shirt. A simple thing, maybe, but with Nico it had felt so personal and sensual.

Jason had never been so aware of another person before. Never before wanted, no _needed,_ to be so physically close with someone like he did with Nico.

“What are you thinking about?” Nico asked him, an odd smile playing across his lips.

Jason bit his lip. Saying _you_ was just too cliché for words. Instead, a whole other thing came out of his mouth, “Do you know when I first realized I liked you?”

The other boy’s eyebrows rose. “Five minutes before you kissed me?” He assumed.

A loud, short laugh burst free from Jason’s throat. “God, no. But if that’s when you started liking me I’ll have to go drown myself in the bathtub. It was actually, uh, a few days after I found you.”

Nico genuinely looked surprised. “You’re serious?”

“At first I was just really interested by you, ya know? And then I realized I was interested _in_ you. I felt like such an ass, actually, going and crushing on the guy I’d invited into my home.”

The dark haired boy across the table brought his other hand to their interlocked fingers, surrounding Jason’s smooth hand in both of his own. “Crushing on me?” He chuckled. “All I did was snoop around your room and criticize you. I wasn’t exactly charming.”

“I liked all that about you, though. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I think it is safe to say I had a _huge_ crush on you.”

“Well, what about now?” Nico asked with a  mischievous grin.

 _Now I am about 99.9% sure I’ve totally fallen in love with you,_ he wanted to say.

But tonight was such a great night, Jason couldn’t bear to say something that could ruin it. And while Jason didn’t doubt that Nico had strong feelings for him, he worried that talk of love would scare the younger boy away. After all, what had happened to the last people who had loved Nico?

Jason wasn’t scared of Hades di Angelo, but it was clear as day that Nico was. So Jason would hold off on any use of the L word for now.

“I think I like you more and more every day,” he shared, which wasn’t technically untrue.

Nico released his hand, pushing his chair away from the table and crossing over to Jason. “Do you think all of the other people in this restaurant will care if I kiss you?” He teased.

“They can look away for a minute or two,”  Jason mumbled, tugging on Nico’s collar to draw him closer. Yes, the collared shirt was a truly inspired idea on Jason’s part.

Their lips met— _collided_ may have been the better word to describe their franticness—and suddenly Jason could care less about finishing his dessert.

But the one boy standing and one boy sitting thing simply wasn’t going to do. Even if Nico was shorter than Jason, the angle still felt awkward and distracted from the otherwise fantastic kissing. Jason grabbed hold of Nico’s hips, guiding him down until he was sitting on—and essentially straddling—the blond. Nico groaned against the older boy’s lips, twisting his fingers into Jason’s hair and tugging. Shit, Jason had never realized hair pulling could be such a turn-on.

“Brhmrm,” Nico mumbled into Jason’s mouth.

Jason chuckled and unlocked their lips. “What?”

“Bedroom,” Nico repeated with more urgency.

Expertly ignoring the dishes, Jason swept up the much lighter boy and threw him over his shoulder before proceeding to exit the kitchen.

“Fuck! Jason, put me down! Stop manhandling me.”

Said “manhandler” shook with laughter, placing a hand on Nico’s ass as he flailed and playfully banged his fists against Jason’s back. “What’s the magic word?”

“Damn you!”

“Not even close,” he teased, kicking the bedroom door open.

He decided to set Nico down on the floor gently rather than just dropping him on the bed. When Nico was back on his feet, he glared at Jason. “Dick.”

“You just say the sweetest things,” Jason said with a good-natured eye-roll. He grabbed hold of the boy once again, by the hips this time, and dragged him so their bodies were flush against each other.

The pale boy scowled up at him.

Jason pecked him on his pouty lips. “Don’t be angry, Gorgeous.”

Nico attempted to shove him away. “I’m not gorgeous,” he muttered.

“Oh yes, you are,” Jason assured, recapturing his boyfriend’s lips and resting his hands on his shoulders.

A small moan escaped Nico’s throat, encouraging Jason to continue. His tongue slid through Nico’s newly parted lips, taking pride in the way the smaller boy shuddered.

They moved so the backs of Nico’s legs were against the foot of the bed but didn’t actually get on it, continuing their frantic kissing while standing. Everything around Jason seemed to be spiraling out of control and completely still at the same time. The world rushed by when he and Nico were kissing, the world stopped when they were kissing—it was all very confusing.

Nico’s hands tugged Jason’s shirt loose and then came to rest on his bare hips, which didn’t help Jason’s situation much. The feeling of Nico’s hands on Jason’s bare skin was absolutely intoxicating. He wanted more of it. A lot more. His hands went down to rest over Nico’s, coaxing them further up Jason’s shirt. But the damn thing kept getting in the way. Fucking dress shirts.

Nico, as if reading Jason’s mind, began to fumble with the buttons. Jason eagerly helped. The next thing he knew, Nico had pushed the shirt down off of his shoulders. It landed lightly at their feet.

The shorter boy tore away from the kiss, dragging his lips down Jason’s neck, past his shoulders, to place quick kisses all across Jason’s chest. The blond’s head fell back and he groaned, hands firm on his still-clothed waist.

“Yours too,” he insisted, moving to undo the buttons on Nico’s shirt.

Nico ceased the kisses, pulling away with flushed cheeks. “I don’t think my shaky self-confidence could survive being shirtless at the same time as you. I’m not.. I mean, I don’t look like…”

Jason kissed his cheek. “Nico, I know you’re skinny. It’s okay. I like you just the way you are.”

His blush deepened, but he whispered, “Okay,” nonetheless.

Jason reunited their lips to distract Nico while making quick work of the buttons on his shirt. It joined Jason’s on the floor.

Jason smiled widely and took a moment to admire the other boy’s pale, smooth skin that he’d only previously caught glimpses of. He hadn’t been lying when he told Nico that he liked him just how he was. The narrow hips and creamy coloring were so unlike Jason’s own body, so incredibly fascinating. Nico was probably the palest Italian Jason had ever met, but it didn’t bother him at all. There was something about Nico’s skin that was beautiful to look at, especially in the soft glow of the lamplight.

“Stop staring at me,” Nico whined, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Sorry, I like looking at you.” Jason drew Nico in by the waist so their bare torsos were nearly touching. Then he slid his hands up the boy’s chest to his neck and back all the way down to his belly button. “And touching you,” he added with a smirk.

The shorter boy hummed with satisfaction, curling his fingers around Jason’s broad shoulders. Jason grabbed on to Nico’s hips once again, hoisting him up a little so they could kiss. With Nico on his tiptoes, Jason didn’t have to bend so much to kiss him. Wanting to feel even more of the boy in front of him, Jason let his fingers drift over Nico’s hips, inching their way to his back. When he finally splayed his fingers across the bare skin, however, Nico stiffened.

“I, uh, my scars,” he mumbled, grabbing at Jason’s hands and trying to coax them back to his stomach. “Sorry. Not sexy at all.”

Oh, right, the scars. Honestly, with all of the excitement of the evening, Jason had nearly forgotten what Nico had shown him and Leo last night. His back, crisscrossed sporadically with thin, old scars.

“They don’t bother me, Nico,” Jason promised. “Well, I mean, of course they _bother_ me and make me hate your father even more, but they don’t make me see you as any less. I hate how you got them, but I don’t care that you _have_ them And for the record,” he continued, planting a small kiss on Nico’s exposed shoulder, “there is not a single part of your body that I don’t like, okay? You don’t have to be ashamed around me.” 

“Says the guy with the body of a god,” Nico sighed.

“Do you think I can… see them again?” Jason breathed, trailing a finger across Nico’s shoulder blades.

“Another time,” the boy whispered. “I don’t want to think of all that crap tonight.”

“Okay, another time,” Jason nodded.

They resumed the kissing and next thing Jason knew, Nico was tugging the both of them down on to the bed. “We’re not going to have sex,” he clarified, resting his open palm on the blond’s cheek.

“No sex,” Jason agreed, kissing Nico’s fingertips. The younger boy pulled him down for a searing kiss, and it was all Jason could do to not crush Nico with his body weight. Their mouths were even more frantic than their hands—which were currently exploring any newly exposed skin they could touch. Jason relished in the feeling of Nico’s tongue moving with his. Of their bodies gently rocking together. Of Nico’s hands rubbing over his abdomen and Jason’s roaming to the dangerous area just above Nico’s pants.

As his desire increased—and Nico’s too—Jason started to grind his clothed erection into the other boy’s body with more force. “Mmm, Nico,” he groaned.

The boy beneath him moaned in response.

Shit, that sound went _straight_ to Jason’s dick.

He said he wasn’t going to have sex with Nico though, and he meant it. Sure, he may have wanted the boy. A lot. A whole lot. But he had willpower and did agree that it was better if they waited. Still, why did Jason have to be so horny? He’d never been this desperate to lose his virginity before all this.

But, well, he could remain a virgin and still have a little fun, right?

 

…

 

“Want to touch you,” Jason breathed against Nico’s lips.                                                     

“You _are_ touching me,” Nico said matter-of-factly, placing his hands over top of Jason’s as if to prove it. 

“Not what I meant,” the blond murmured, slowly moving his hand to rest on Nico’s crotch.

“Oh,” Nico exhaled.

Jason wanted to touch him _there._

 “Only if you’re okay with it,” Jason promised.

Nico could barely breathe, let alone find words to form an answer. What exactly did “touch” entail? Was he just curious to feel or did he want to… God, Nico could barely even _think_ it without getting flustered. Was Jason asking if he could jack Nico off?

_What a fucking question to ask a horny sixteen year old virgin!_

Except this particular horny sixteen year old virgin wanted to hyperventilate at the thought of someone as gorgeous as Jason doing it. Hell, every part of Jason was so perfect. Nico could tell whenever Jason got an erection that he was, uh, _well endowed_ and all and, being himself, that led to about a million and one insecurities that may have been stupid, but existed nonetheless. What if Jason thought Nico was too small? What if Jason didn’t even _like_ doing it? What if it was just a big awkward mess? What if… What if the cops suddenly burst in with Nico naked and Jason’s hand on his dick? _That_ would make the papers.

Okay, maybe that last fear was a little far-fetched, but still.

Nico realized that Jason was still looking at him expectantly and Nico hadn’t said anything.

_Words, damn it! Use your words, Nico!_

What was there to even say, though? Nico would be lying if he said he hadn’t imagined situations exactly like this, over the past few days especially with all of the sex dreams. But dreaming about something and actually doing it were two drastically different things.

Maybe they should just stop, stick with what they’d been doing for days. That was good. Nico didn’t want to risk…

Was Nico really going to refuse a potential handjob from his willing and sexy boyfriend?

Because if Nico was going to prison, or hell, or wherever for the crimes he hadn’t committed (or the ones he questionably had) shouldn’t he at least enjoy himself before he went? It wasn’t like he was agreeing to have sex, or even oral, just a handjob right?

God, he really needed to stop over thinking everything.

“Okay with it? Yes. Totally stressed out by the idea? Double yes.” A nervous chuckle escaped his throat.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything, it’s just well,” Jason rubbed lightly on Nico’s hard-on through the fabric of his pants, causing the younger boy to groan, “Why not, right?”

He latched on to Jason’s short— _but not_ , Nico noticed, as short as it was when Jason first found him—blond hair and tugged him closer, so Jason’s entire body pressed Nico’s down in to the mattress. “You really… want to? Do that, I mean.”

Jason bit down gently on the lobe of Nico’s ear and whispered, “Yes. I really do.” And then his fingers were unsnapping the button on Nico’s pants.

More to distract himself than anything, Nico captured Jason’s mouth for a very long, very deep kiss. _Think only of mouths,_ Nico urged himself. _Jason’s mouth. Your tongue. Kissing._

It only half worked, because he was still quite aware of the fact that Jason was tugging his pants down his thighs.

“Relax, it’s just me,” Jason breathed, moving down to plant open mouthed kisses on Nico’s neck and collarbone.

“I know,” Nico replied, stroking Jason’s soft blond hair. “I know.”

Nico’s pants ended up at his ankles and he kicked them off, sending his shoes with them (Why he wore shoes to an indoor date in Jason’s apartment he may never know).

He still wore underwear at least, but that didn’t erase the fact that his legs were completely bare in all of their pale skinny glory. Jason, still more or less on top of Nico, swept Nico’s bangs out of his eyes and gave a half smile, but Nico noticed his hand was shaking.

He told Jason as much.

“Well, maybe I’m a little nervous, too,” he admitted, kissing Nico’s temple.

“We’re sort of pathetic,” Nico realized with a laugh.

“Should start a blog or something… call it Virgin Struggles,” Jason joined in the laughter.

And somehow, knowing that Jason was panicking just as much as he was made Nico less nervous. Jason wouldn’t stop liking Nico because of something stupid like dick size. He’d touched Nico’s scars without flinching, and if that didn’t turn Jason away, then what would?

 _I love you, Jason,_ he almost said, but that was too wild. Too soon. Too much. That was a secret he’d much rather keep to himself.

If he didn’t say it out loud, maybe somehow he could spare Jason from facing the same fate that—

 _I am_ not _going to think about my dead sister right now,_ Nico swore to himself. Tonight belonged to Nico and Jason only.

“You know…” Nico mused, feeling how Jason strained against his own pants, “I think it only fair that you take off your pants as well. It’s civil rights or something.”

“Or something,” Jason agreed, planting a chaste kiss on his cheek. “You want to… assist me?”

Nico wasn’t sure if Jason purposely tried to be seductive or if his nervous-mode and seductive-mode were one and the same, but it was enough to send a shiver down the younger boy’s back.

 _I’ll assist you in any way you want,_ is what Nico would have said if he were a million times braver.

“Definitely,” is what came out of his mouth instead. Nico sent a quick thank you to his past self for leaving only the two lamps on in this room before he left for their “date” as opposed to the overhead light, because surely he was the color of a ripe strawberry by now.

Working as a cohesive unit, Nico and Jason made quick work of Jason’s pants, revealing two long, tan, muscular legs. Nico felt approximately twelve years old.

He pinched Jason’s hip.

“Ouch! What was that for?”

“Oh, just checking to see if you’re real,” Nico sighed, eyeing Jason’s dark red boxer briefs.

The older boy rolled his eyes and planted a kiss on Nico’s cheek. Only, Nico didn’t want chaste right now. He and Jason were both almost completely naked, and if Nico didn’t start taking advantage of that fact he knew he would be kicking himself later. Feeling suddenly bold, Nico let his fingers graze all down Jason’s muscular back until they bumped into the last piece of fabric covering his body. Then he laid his palm flat just above his ass and pushed their aching lower halves together. Jason buried his face in Nico’s neck and moaned, wasting a minute grinding against Nico’s hardness. And holy shit, it was so much better this way, just in their underwear without the thick layers of their pants.

“Fuck,” Nico cursed, and then, like a prayer, “Jason!”

The ridiculously hot boy above him dragged his hands down Nico’s bare torso slid them under the waistband of Nico’s gray boxer briefs without hesitation. Surprisingly, Nico didn’t tense up at having Jason’s hands on his skin. In fact, as Jason rubbed his palms on Nico’s hips and moved around to grab at his backside, he felt oddly relaxed. Comfortable. This was right. Being like this with Jason was simply… _right._

“L—like you s—so much,” Nico stuttered as Jason grinded against him once again.

“Same,” he agreed, laying a kiss right over Nico’s erratically beating heart, “So, _so_ much.” He hooked a finger around the waistband of the underwear. “Can I?”

“Yes,” Nico whispered. Then, louder, “Yes, do it.”

“Assertive,” Jason muttered, “I like it.” He tugged down and Nico was completely exposed.

 

…

 

Once he had Nico naked, Jason simply could not stop smiling, no matter how many times Nico hit his arm and ordered him to stop.

“I could take mine off too, if you want.”

“And leave both of us aroused and completely naked?” Nico raised an eyebrow, “I’m sure _that_ would end well.”

Jason still had confidence in his ability to resist sex, although he had to admit that Nico’s state of undress had weakened his resolve just slightly. “Oh come on, have a little faith in me, Nico.”

“Who said it was _you_ I didn’t trust?” Nico whispered, kissing Jason quickly on the lips.

So Jason wasn’t the only one horny out of his mind…

Oh, the complications of being a virgin never ceased. Wanting to have sex. Knowing it wasn’t a good idea. Knowing it was too fast. Wanting to regardless.

“I guess we’ll just have to work with what we have, then,” Jason chuckled, bringing his hand dangerously close to Nico’s dick. 

Nico gasped and shuddered.

Horniness aside, Jason was sort of panicking. He’d never gone this far with anyone before. Never had a naked boy _right_ there in front of him. And yeah, Jason may have been comfortable with who he was and all, but that didn’t mean he was any less of a nervous fool with barely a clue what he was doing. Confidence in the streets did not in any way relate confidents in the sheets. You’d think the fanfiction would have prepared him for this kind of stuff, but no luck.

However, there was one thing Jason knew pretty well, and that was kissing. He locked lips with Nico, letting his hands rest on the boy’s narrow hips without doing much exploring. Nico, on the other hand, seemed perfectly content to trace patterns on Jason’s back with the pads of his fingers. It felt unspeakably intimate.

Nice or not, they still weren’t close enough for Jason’s liking. He sat up suddenly, bringing Nico along with him. The boy raised his eyebrow in question as he was turned around and then pulled against Jason, so they were back to stomach, with Nico between Jason’s legs. It may have also placed Jason’s clothed erection ideally against Nico’s ass, but _that_ was irrelevant.

Jason slid his hands all the way down the front of Nico’s torso, taking great satisfaction in the way it made  the younger boy moan his name, which only got louder as Jason finally wrapped one hand around Nico’s shaft. He smeared the dark haired boy’s pre-come from tip to base.

God, Jason fucking _loved_ date nights.

Going purely off of what he knew from porn, fanfiction, and of course, doing this to himself, Jason began to jerk Nico off. It wasn’t nearly as awkward as he’d thought it would be. Once he actually got started it was more or less like the grinding they’d been doing all week. Well, except for the whole part about Nico being naked and Jason’s hand on his dick. And even though it was technically Nico on the receiving end, Jason couldn’t say that he wasn’t also getting something out of it. In addition to a very nice expanse of Nico’s neck to suck on, each pleasured jolt of the younger boy’s body had him rubbing against Jason’s aching dick.   

After only a perhaps a minute of this—stamina currently wasn’t either boy’s strong suit—not only Nico but Jason as well began to come, the former all over his stomach and the latter’s hand. And Jason in his underwear… again. Like a loser.

But then Nico turned around and the grin on his face made Jason think that maybe being a loser virgin wasn’t so bad.

“You know, I would have returned the favor…” he teased.

Jason rolled his eyes and kissed Nico’s cheek, “Next time.” He got up and went to his bathroom for a washcloth. He wiped his hand off as he returned and then started cleaning Nico off as well.

“So, how about you make some hot chocolate?”

Jason smiled, pulling Nico against him for a deep kiss.

“Uh, I’m still sort of naked,” the brown-eyed boy reminded when Jason tore away. This made Jason’s smile widen. He cupped Nico’s ass and nipped at his neck.

“Oh, I know.”

They started kissing all over again, and as it turned out… Nico _did_ get to return the favor after all.

 

…

 

As Jason fell asleep that night, one singular thought rang through his mind over and over again.

_I love you, Nico di Angelo._

And he meant it.

Oh, did he ever mean it.

…

 

It was probably three in the morning, but Nico found himself wide awake. Jason was fast asleep beside him—naked as the day he’d been born—with his arms loosely wrapped around an equally undressed Nico.

Earlier, Nico had surprised himself more than once. First by simply letting Jason remove all of his clothes and give him a handjob, and then again when he’d—against his better judgment, perhaps—stripped Jason of his last piece of clothing and reciprocated. And… well… that had turned Nico on all over again and so once again Jason had jacked him off. Then, the two completely spent boys had cuddled and kissed in bed without a single thought of getting up or putting their clothes back on.

So how exactly was Nico expected to sleep?

Neither boy had even bothered to close the curtains, allowing the lights of the city and the full moon to shine through the windows and illuminate Jason’s muscular chest and perfect face. Jesus, he really was spectacular to look at. How someone like Jason even existed, let alone had feelings for Nico, continued to perplex him. But he was grateful, nonetheless.

It was starting to feel like this boy may be the best thing that ever happened to Nico, and that was frightening beyond words.

Surely this person Nico had known for five weeks couldn’t matter this ridiculously much. Being in a sort-of relationship with some gorgeous blond who cared too much about books and had no regard for his own safety was hardly a fairy tale, especially considering the circumstances.

And yet, when was the last time Nico had been this happy?

Even when Bianca was alive… he could hardly remember an occasion. Yes, Nico loved his sister totally and completely and would have done anything for her, but had he been happy? Always worried about his mother and Bianca, always terrified of his father’s bad moods… Constantly being beaten half to death. The happy memories were certainly few and far between back then.

But now? Now it seemed like things could be looking up for Nico. He was in a safe environment, constantly with a guy he was crazy in love with, and making plans to rescue his mother and get away from his insane father once and for all.

Jason mumbled something unintelligible and pulled Nico closer.

Sure, Nico knew things weren’t _actually_ perfect. His sister was dead, the police were actively hunting him down, his mother was still in danger, Jason was taking insane risks, and now he wasn’t the only one who know about Nico’s whereabouts. The two living people that Nico truly cared about could end up dead at the end of all of this, and he had no idea if he’d be able to stop it. But now? Tonight? Tonight he was happier than he’d been in a long, long time.

In the middle of the storm, Nico had found himself a little piece of paradise.

And for now, that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Fair warning, next week's update will not be on Friday. This upcoming week is so busy for me that I won't have time to edit really until the weekend. That being said, expect chapter 12 on either November 16th or 17th. I will post on tumblr if the situation changes. Love all of you, kisses!


	12. Sister, Sister (Never Knew How Much I Missed Ya)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a beast. The longest yet. Which is my excuse for it not being up earlier today or yesterday. That being said, chapter 13 may not go up until Saturday, depending on how my free time this week looks. As always, you can go to my tumblr, nephilimgirlbooks, for any update information. Love you!

On Saturday morning, Nico woke to find himself in a dream. Yes, he realized that technically speaking, he _was_ awake, but the fact that Jason Grace was lying beside him stark naked and smirking made it feel like a dream.

“Morning,” he whispered, placing a brief kiss on Nico’s lips. Despite all that they’d done the previous night, this small action made Nico cover his face in embarrassment.

It didn’t help that Jason’s bare dick was pressed against his side.

Jason’s dick, subtly reminding Nico of what he’s done last night. That glorious moment of boldness when he’d jacked Jason off.

_“Nico,” Jason gasped, pressing his hips into the boy who had at some point wound up on top of him. And damn it if Nico wasn’t still naked. He probably should have felt uncomfortable. Nico preferred his back against the bed, where his scars could be hidden, and he certainly preferred to be clothed, covered, protected. But somehow, Nico felt strangely at ease in bed with Jason. When…_ if _they ever did go all the way, would Nico feel this secure and comfortable?_

_Except Jason still wore a single piece of fabric, a garment that could change everything. The maroon boxer-briefs. The underwear that now strained against Jason’s latest erection. Last month Nico was sleeping in boxes and behind dumpsters, on the run and terrified. And now… now…_

_An idea struck him._

_With a mischievous grin, Nico stopped bestowing kisses on Jason’s lips and scooted down the taller boy’s body._

_“No, Nico, come back,” Jason whined. Nico’s heart beat erratically. He could still back down. He didn’t have to go through with this little idea of his._

_But he wanted to._

_And he wasn’t sure what to make of that._

_Nico let out a shaky breath as his hand came in contact with the last shred of fabric that clothed Jason. “Wh—what are you doing?” Jason breathed._

_“I’m pretty sure you don’t want to get off in your underwear_ again, _” Nico teased, trying to sound confident but probably failing miserably. If his face got any redder, Nico could work part time as a fire truck. His hands shook nervously._

_Jason’s eyes widened, “You really sure you want to—”_

_Nico rolled his eyes, steeled his nerves, and tugged the maroon underwear down._

_Naked Jason may have been equally the most gorgeous and terrifying thing Nico had ever seen. It certainly scared away any thoughts of giving in and having sex in the near future._

_“Nico?” Jason asked after the dark haired boy sat frozen for nearly an entire minute._

_The boy in question sputtered back to life. “Uh, proportional,” he muttered awkwardly, looking anywhere that wasn’t Jason’s ‘proportional’ dick._

_Jason chuckled and sat up in the bed, “We don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with, Nico. You know that.”_

_“I know,” Nico replied, leaning in and kissing Jason on the lips while his hand stretched out for the lamp to switch off the light._

_The room plunged into darkness._

_And his other hand got to work._

“You want pancakes or something?” Jason asked, wrenching Nico from his memory.

“Sure,” the younger boy replied, smiling up at his boyfriend. Jason pecked him one more time on the lips and then threw his legs over the side of the bed. The sheets fell from his form as he stood.

And well, now Nico really regretted not closing the curtains last night because the morning light shone right on Jason’s spectacularly nude body.

Lamplight had really done the blond no justice. His strong thighs, his muscular, bare arms, the attention grabbing V pointing right down to his—

_Oh Jesus Christ,_ Nico thought, almost like a prayer, which was ironic considering he was a guy appraising the body of another guy and his recent loss of faith in any higher power—at least one that gave a shit about him.

Jason looked down, as if suddenly remembering that he was absolutely naked. “I—I—we should probably get dressed first,” he stuttered, scratching his head.

_Or you could get back here and kiss me until I forget the feeling of oxygen in my lungs,_ that crazy, bold side of Nico whispered.

The bold side of Nico clearly forgot the whole “virgin” thing.

 “Yeah, clothes. Perhaps that would be a good idea,” Nico said instead, averting his eyes and smiling bashfully.

 

…

 

 “What time are you meeting her?” Nico asked Monday while the boys ate breakfast—in Jason’s room, of course; his mother had returned home the previous night.

Nico was referring to none other than Thalia. Today Jason would get to see her for the first time since summer and he couldn’t be more excited.

And also, terrified.

Thalia was one of the smartest people Jason knew—perhaps even more insightful than Annabeth—and Jason was keeping the motherload of secrets from her. He chewed nervously on his bagel.

“I’m meeting her for lunch at one, and we’ll probably spend most of the day together. She heads back Wednesday afternoon.”

Nico nodded, “Where does she stay when she comes here?”

“With an old high school friend, Zoë. Well, she may have been more than a friend. It’s complicated, according to Thals.”

The younger boy raised an eyebrow, “You never mentioned that your sister was…”

Jason chuckled, wiping a smudge of cream cheese off of Nico’s cheek. “She’s bisexual. You can imagine how thrilled our parents were. And that was back when they thought I was straight. Sure my dad is just rolling in his grave.”

Nico shook his head in a _what am I going to do with you_ gesture and planted a long, lingering kiss on Jason’s lips. “Fathers have always seemed a little overrated if you ask me,” he mumbled into the blond’s mouth.

_I love you,_ Jason nearly told him. _I love you more than I’d like to admit._ Instead, he pulled Nico against him and continued with the kissing, breakfast momentarily forgotten.

 

…

 

“I’ll text you later with a better estimate of when I’ll be home, okay?” Jason promised.

Nico rolled his eyes, “You don’t need my permission to stay out, you know. Thalia is your sister and you barely see her, I get you every day.”

Jason grinned at that, “Yes you do,” he tugged Nico against him for another kiss, adding in a whisper, “And every night, too.”

It seemed like they were always kissing now. Jason could scarcely help himself. After Friday night, he only found himself wanting Nico more and more, and not just sexually. Just being around the brown-eyed boy turned Jason into some cuddly ball of mush. Always wanting to kiss Nico, touch Nico, hold Nico. It was a drug.

They hadn’t gotten completely naked again, but that didn’t mean Jason hadn’t gotten a fair share of time with his hand down the front/back of Nico’s pants.

“If you’re trying to turn me on right before you leave, it’s working and you’re evil,” Nico muttered, grabbing onto Jason’s shirt collar and bestowing one last, passionate kiss. “Okay, get out of here.”

Jason reached down and gave Nico’s backside a small squeeze, “I’ll miss you.”

“Tease.”

The blond laughed.

 

…

 

Demeter’s Café in SoHo had always been Jason and Thalia’s special place, so naturally it was where the siblings agreed to meet for lunch.

Before Jason had even stepped fully through the door, his sister threw her arms around him, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. “Jason!” She cried. “Look how big you are!”

Thalia pulled back and began to do all sorts of embarrassing sisterly things, straightening his jacket and brushing her fingers through his hair and kissing his cheek. Jason blushed. “Thals, I look exactly how I did last time you saw me.”

Thalia and Jason, despite being siblings, actually didn’t look all that much alike. Jason had his mother’s fair hair, while Thalia’s was black, like their father’s. But other than the hair, Thalia looked a lot more like their mother, with wide eyes and a light dusting of freckles upon her nose, which was slightly upturned. She also shared their mother’s petite frame, although her huge personality made her seem much taller than she actually was. Jason, as much as he hated to resemble either of his parents, favored his father with his strong jaw and broad shoulders. The only commonality between the siblings were their eyes, both a blue so vivid people often assumed they were contacts.

“I guess I’ll just always imagine you as the fifteen year old boy you were when I left,” Thalia sighed, hugging him again. “Come sit, I got our usual table.”

One of the things that Jason loved most about Demeter’s was, despite the spectacular quality of the food, the quaint little café was never crowded. It felt intimate and homey and everything on the menu tasted home cooked. Jason wondered what Nico would think of it, if Jason could ever bring him here.

“Okay, so catch me up on your life!” His sister insisted.

Jason twiddled his fingers and half-hid behind his menu as he rattled off the less exciting facts of his life, all of his tests from the previous week, Leo’s failing attempts to flirt with Calypso, his hopes that Stanford will send him a letter sometime in the next two weeks.

Thalia snatched his menu away. “Yeah, you told me most of that on the phone, little bro. I mean catch me up on the part of your life you keep leaving out.” She inclined a brow at him.

Jason swallowed hard. Damn. Damn it all. Not even five minutes and his sister could already tell that Jason was keeping things from her. Had she gotten smarter or had Jason just become worse at lying? Hopefully not the latter, considering someone’s life relied on his ability to keep a secret.

“What, mom?” Jason asked casually. “I’d honestly rather not talk about her. I don’t know why she insists on keeping the apartment when she’s never even there. It’s just me and—my books all day.” _Wow Jason, real slick._

His older sister pursed her lips. “Gods,” she finally said, “You can’t move to California soon enough. I hate leaving you with that bitch.”

Jason sighed, more out of relief for distracting Thalia than anything. “Tell me about it. But really, it’s not so terrible. I mean, Mom could be a lot worse.”

“Yeah, at least she’s not like, hurting you or anything, right? When she gets drunk?”

“She’s not home enough to hit me.” Jason’s stomach twisted painfully as he thought of how Nico hadn’t been so lucky. God, if it was the last thing he did, Jason was going to make Hades pay.

“That’s good. So… you spend a lot of time alone, then?” His sister asked casually, brushing back a lock of black hair that had fallen into her eyes.

Jason nodded, eyes on the front windows.

“Well, I guess that leaves a lot of time for your secret boyfriend to come over, huh?”

The blond whipped his head towards his sister, gaping at her in open-mouthed shock. “What? Thals, I don’t have a—”

She grinned, “Sure you don’t. That’s why you’re getting all blushy and defensive, right?”

Jason was ready to protest further, when their waitress arrived. “Hi, my name is Mellie and I’ll be your server today. What can I get you to start?”

“Coffee,” the siblings said in unison. Mellie laughed.

“Well either you two are siblings or the world’s most in-sync couple. Cream or sugar?”

“Siblings. I’ll take some cream and sugar,” Jason said.

“I’ll have mine black, thank you.”

Mellie skipped away.

“So, you drink your coffee black now?” He inquired.

“Cut the crap, little brother,” the older girl interrupted, “You’ve been tiptoeing since the moment we sat down, not to mention every time I’ve called you for the last _month._ Although, why you wouldn’t tell me that you’re seeing someone is a mystery to me. Gods, he’s not like thirty, is he? Jason, tell me you aren’t fucking your teacher or something.”

Jason reddened. “I’m not fucking _anyone!_ I promise. Jeez, Thals. You know me better than anyone, do you reallythink I’d fool around with a teacher?”

She shrugged, “How should I know when you insist on being so secretive? You’d think I just asked you to take off your clothes and go streaking through Times Square with the way you reacted. Just tell me what’s going on.”

He wanted to tell her of course. He wanted to tell her more than anything. Thalia had always been the keeper of Jason’s deepest secrets, but could he really put such a weight on her shoulders? Not to mention that Thalia was a notorious worrier. Who knew what she would do if she found out about the complete mess Jason had thrown himself into?

“Well, I mean… Mitchell is in town, but I don’t think I’m going to—” 

“I know you’re not this riled up over that silly McLean boy, Sparky. But there _is_ someone. Admit it.”

 Jason sighed. He could keep lying through his teeth, or he could try and tell a half truth to satisfy her. But even doing something as little as _that_ could be risky

“Come on, Jason,” Thalia insisted, “Who do you trust more than anyone in this world?”

_You,_ Jason thought. “I—there is a boy. But it’s sort of complicated.”

His sister leaned in. “Another closet case? Because you promised me after the Jake Mason thing that you wouldn’t do that again.”

_Hmm_ , he chewed his lip. That was a good excuse, but then Thalia would still want to hear all the dirty details, and Jason could hardly do that.

“No, that’s not the problem.”

Thalia rubbed her forehead. “He’s not already in a relationship, is he?”

Jason scowled at the mere _thought_ of that one, “No, not that either. Look, I really can’t talk about it. I told you there’s a guy and that it’s complicated, isn’t that enough?”

“So complicated you can’t even confide in your dear sister? I bet Leo knows about it.”

“That’s beside the point.”

She grinned mischievously, “Well, I guess I could always call Leo and—”

“No!” Jason interrupted quickly. Knowing his best friend, Leo would spill the beans in a heartbeat. Once upon a time he’d had a huge crush on Jason’s older sister.

“Wait, you’re not dating Leo, right? Tell me it isn’t Leo.”

Jason made a face. “Of course I’m not dating Leo, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Ready to order?” Mellie asked, reappearing with the coffees.

“Can you give us a few, Mellie?” Thalia asked politely, smiling up at the server. She nodded and disappeared. Jason wanted to get up and follow after her.

“Thals, I—”

“Name.”

“You don’t—”

“Name.”

“It’s really—”

“What’s his name, Jason?”

He released an exasperated breath. “N—Nico,” he mumbled.

Thalia reached across the table and placed her hand over his. “See, that wasn’t so hard. So, tell me, why is this Nico such a secret?”

Jason shook his head, “It’s a long story.”

“Well then it’s good thing we have a whole day together, huh?” She mused.

_What to do? What to do?_

“Give me a minute,” he said, pulling out his cell phone.

**_Thalia suspects,_** he typed, **_I don’t know what to tell her. She knows I’m seeing someone and I can’t get her off my back._**

He waited anxiously for Nico’s response.

His phone buzzed within the minute. **She’s your sister. Do you trust her?**

**_More than anyone. But it’s your secret._ **

**It’s your secret, too. I trust you and if you trust her, so do I.**

**_Here goes nothing, then._ **

“Thalia… do you watch the news?”

She leaned back, a startled look on her face at the sudden question. “Uh, not really. All they ever talk about is how fucked up society is, like I don’t already know. Why?”

Jason scanned the café quickly. Only two other tables were occupied, and neither within hearing range of Jason and Thalia. Still, he couldn’t believe he was going to have this conversation.

“So, I guess you haven’t hear anything about the Bianca di Angelo murder, huh? It’s more of a New York news story anyway, but—”

“Jason, I swear, if you’re trying to distract me again—”

“I’m not,” he insisted. “I promise. This is just, a lot to explain and it isn’t easy, okay?”

His sister nodded. “Go on, then.”

“Well, around the end of January, this girl Bianca was murdered inside their family apartment. Stabbed to death. She was my age, she went to Goode with me. And, so did her younger brother… Nico.”

Thalia looked like she wanted to ask a million and one questions, but Mellie was on her way back over to them. The siblings both ordered their lunch, or brunch, really, considering Thalia got blueberry pancakes and Jason got a bagel and cream cheese along with his soup.

“Okay,” Thalia said once Mellie was out of earshot, “So, I’m assuming that this is your Nico?”

Jason nodded, his heart picking up at the insinuation that Nico was _his_.

“I never really talked to him before all of this started. He was just some quiet sophomore kid that only really hung out with his sister.”

“How awful, then, that he lost her. Do they know who did it? The murderer, I mean?”

“Well, Thals… that’s what makes everything so complicated. Because, uh, everyone thinks it was… Nico.”

His sister’s eyes widened to blue saucers in her face. “Jason,” she gasped.

“But—he didn’t do it, Thalia. Nico wouldn’t… he cared for Bianca so much. I _know_ he’s innocent. Trust me. He wakes up sometimes with these horrible screaming nightmares and—”

“Jason, I’m going to need you to explain the entire story to me, okay? Because right now you sound kind of insane and I have no idea what’s going on.

The blond took a long sip of his coffee. “Okay, okay I will.” He launched into the full explanation, Nico’s abusive father, what lengths Nico went through to protect his mother and sister, Hades’ ultimatum the night Bianca died, to pick one or the other. (Thalia started to become visibly upset at this point, so Jason tried to tone down the violence a little.) He reluctantly recounted how it had been Hades that actually killed Bianca, and how he’d manipulated it into looking like it was Nico.

“Oh my gods,” she whispered when he told her that.

Jason continued on, explaining how Nico ran away and no one knew what happened to him. How everyone at school had their own dumb theory. How every night the news gave an update on the murder case.

“So then, a month ago I was on my way home from work. It was late but I knew we had no food at home so I was going to run to the market. I took those shortcuts that mom used to show us, back when she was normal, and in one alley I saw Nico. He was beaten up so badly that he could barely walk. Apparently he’d been hiding out in the streets for two weeks in the middle of winter and some thugs had tried to rob him, but when they found no money they just beat the shit out of him.”

“Then why didn’t you call the police, Jason?”

He shook his head. To this day, Jason could still not fully explain it. “I just… had a gut feeling. Maybe you’ll think that’s stupid, but I’m glad I trusted myself. I can’t bear to think what would have happened if I’d called them. Instead, I took Nico back to the apartment and cleaned him up and gave him some food and a place to rest for the night. He was so cold, and helpless, and yet, very feisty,” Jason found himself smiling, “Nico didn’t really want my help. He’s stubborn.”

“You two have that in common,” Thalia muttered, shaking her head.

Another pause in conversation when their food arrived. Jason smiled politely at Mellie as she set down their food. It looked delicious, even if Jason wasn’t sure he had much of an appetite.

“Look, I know you probably think I’m crazy, but when he told me the story, I believed him. It was impossible not to. He was so genuine and honest and open…”

“You said he wakes up with nightmares.”

Jason shrugged, “They’ve gotten a little better lately, but they aren’t gone altogether.”

Thalia cut into her pancake. “Jason,” she asked calmly, “How do you know what he does while he sleeps?”

Jason shifted uncomfortably. “So, about that… He’s kind of been hiding out in our apartment. For like, five weeks.”

His sister looked ready to reach over the table and smack him. “Jason Grace! Do you _realize_ how stupid you are?”

Jason could only nod. “But I have to help him, Thals. In the streets he’d either be caught and arrested or he’d die. And I—I can’t let either of those things happen.”

“Do you understand  how much trouble you could get in for this?”

He nodded again. “Of course I do. But I know what I’m doing, okay? You just have to trust me.”

“I do trust you, I trust you more than anyone, but…”

“Well, I trust him. Whole-heartedly.”

The table fell into a moment of heavy silence. Jason’s sister studied his face intently. He awkwardly sipped at his coffee.

“Okay, fine. Fine. I believe you,” Thalia sighed. “But I swear, if you get hurt I am going crazy big sister on everyone involved in this. I will kick all of their asses into the next decade.” She stewed angrily across the table.

“If it counts for anything, Nico tried to talk me out of helping him at least fifty times. He kind of thinks I’m a huge idiot.”

Thalia gave a small smirk. “You are. But I know you, and only someone _really_ special could turn you into this big of a dumbass.”

“He _is_ special. Probably the most interesting person I’ve ever met. Although he likes to tease me a lot. But you’d just love him, Thals.”

“And how long have you two been a thing? Please tell me not the entire time.”

Jason shook his head quickly. “No, no, only two and a half weeks. But I mean, I definitely had feelings for him for most of the time prior. I can’t believe I never paid him more attention at school.”

She gave an understanding nod. “So does Nico know you’re in love with him?”

Jason choked on his bagel.“What?”

Thalia rolled her eyes, “Don’t play dumb with me, Jason. I can tell by the way you talk about this guy that you’re over the damn  moon for him. Does he know?”

Jason reddened. “No, he doesn’t know.”

“Why the hell not?” Thalia demanded. “If you love him enough to go through the wringer for him, then tell him.”

“It’s more complicated than that. Way, way more complicated,” he lowered his voice, “Did you not listen when I told you that his dad murdered his sister just because Nico cared about her too much? What if I tell him and it scares him off?”

“You don’t think he loves you back?” She asked.

“I think he’s afraid to love anyone. When I kissed him the first time he nearly walked out. I can’t lose him, Thals.”

She chewed that over for a moment, along with a big bite of blueberry pancake.

“So are you going to let me meet the guy or what?”

Jason swallowed hard. “I’m not sure if that’s—”

She held up a finger to stop him. “My baby brother is crazy in love for the first time in his life. So in love that he’s willing to idiotically risk his future—”

“Nico wouldn’t let that happen, Thals,” Jason interrupted.

“Regardless. Any guy _that_ special I have to meet.”

“Mom’s home.”

“Tonight, then,” the older sibling insisted.

Jason scratched his brow, “Well, I guess I could bring it up with him…”

“Perfect!” She squealed.

“But if I let you, you’d better be on your best behavior, Thals. No grilling him. And for the love of God, don’t tell him about the love thing.”

She smiled sweetly, “Oh come on, Sparky, just a little grilling? He needs to know that you have an intimidating big sister watching out for you, ready to kick his ass…”

Jason glared at her.

“Oh, take a joke, have a little faith in your big sister. I’ll be completely appropriate.”

Thalia? Completely appropriate? Yeah, maybe the day his mother stopped drinking and Jason developed a liking for lady parts. That is to say, not in a million years.

“I highly doubt that, but I’ll bring it up with him anyways.”

Perhaps it was high time two of the most important people in Jason’s life met.

 

…

 

It was late afternoon when Jason returned to the apartment. Normally, Jason’s arrival would make Nico unspeakably excited, but not today. All the dark haired boy could think about was how Jason’s talk with his sister went. Although the fact that the cops hadn’t burst in yet had to be a good sign, right?

The bedroom door opened and Jason slipped inside, shutting and locking it behind him. Nico rose to his feet. “So, how’d it go?” He hesitantly asked.

The tall blond crossed over to Nico and planted a kiss right in the middle of his forehead. “It went well. Shockingly well. I mean, she kind of freaked out at first, but everything is okay now. She can tell you’re really important to me, she wouldn’t betray me,” he shared, wrapping Nico up in his muscular arms.

_Really important to me,_ Nico repeated over and over in his mind. Nico… important to Jason? Even after everything from the last few weeks, it was still difficult to believe. Nico shuddered, balling his fingers up in Jason’s shirt. “Well, I’m glad things went well. But let’s keep it at three people knowing where I am, okay?”

Jason chuckled, “Definitely,” he captured Nico’s lips.

Once, when Nico was younger, he’d carelessly left a bowl of jellybeans in the sun on a hot summer day at his grandmother’s house. Then, a few hours later he remembered them suddenly and ran outside to check on them. What he found was not a bowl full of small candies, but rather one big clump of jelly beans all mounded together. The sunlight had melted the beans, and as a result they became one.

And that was exactly how Nico felt while kissing Jason. Two separate entities until the moment their lips met. Then the boys were melting into each other, fusing their individual bodies into one unit, with entangled limbs and locked lips until it was nearly impossible to tell where Jason ended and Nico began. And, just like with the jelly beans, Nico wasn’t sure they would ever be able to separate again.

They fell into Jason’s desk chair, still kissing wildly with no end in sight. One would think that with all the other stuff, the grinding and the touching and the exploration of exposed skin, kissing would start to feel sort of… boring. Except that wasn’t the case with Nico and Jason at all. Making out was just as exhilarating as the first time they’d ever done it, and left Nico just as lightheaded afterward.

“Do you maybe want to… the bed?” The younger boy panted.

“Actually, there was something else I needed to talk to you about,” Jason admitted,

Nico may have pouted and started removing Jason’s shirt himself if the blond hadn’t looked so serious. His lips—swollen from kissing—were pursed tightly. He dragged his fingers through his hair once, which only left him looking more disheveled.

“What’s up?”

“Thalia wants to meet you,” he blurted suddenly. Nico stood, somehow freeing himself from Jason’s gravitational pull.

“She what?”

Jason spoke it so rapidly, maybe Nico’s ears were lying to him. _Thalia wants to eat food_ was surely what Jason had said. Right?

The older boy grabbed Nico’s hand and intertwined their fingers. Patiently, he repeated, “She wants to meet you. In fact, she was adamant about it. I told her I had to run it by you. Nico, I totally understand if you don’t want to. I know you’re not really big on people right now, or maybe you think it’s too soon, and I won’t be angry if you choose to say no.”

Nico sighed and plopped back down onto his boyfriend’s lap. Yes, it was true that Nico would rather limit his human interactions to Jason only. But that wasn’t the problem. Sure, maybe meeting Thalia after less than two weeks of dating was a little rushed. That hadn’t made Nico pause either, however.

Thalia was more than just Jason’s sister though. She was the most important person in his life. Jason’s rock. The one person in Jason’s family who really understood who Jason was. She was his Bianca.

And if Thalia didn’t like Nico (because let’s be honest, he wasn’t exactly a likable guy) what would Jason do? Obviously his flesh and blood sister held a lot more stock than a two and a half week relationship.

“What if she meets me and hates me?” Nico mumbled into Jason’s neck.

The blond curled his arms around Nico’s thin torso. “She’s going to like you. Trust me.”

“Well what if she doesn’t?” Nico pressed.

Jason rolled his eyes and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to the younger boy’s lips. “You’re worrying about all the wrong things, trust me. Thalia will like you, because she knows how much I like you. Done.”

“But she hasn’t even met me yet…”

“Yet? Does that mean you _are_ okay with her coming over later?”

Nico pondered that. What’s the worst that could happen?

Thalia could hate him, think he was actually a murderer, call the cops, and Jason could never see Nico again. But Nico was feeling oddly optimistic today.

The dark haired boy heaved a great sigh, “Sure, why not?”

Jason grinned.

 

…

 

While Nico showered, Jason called his sister.

“Well, baby brother, miss me already?” Thalia teased.

Jason, currently lying supine on his bed, stared up at the ceiling. He’d never realized how boring ceilings were, white and plain almost everywhere you went. These were the stupid thoughts that always occupied Jason’s mind when he was trying to avoid a particular conversation. Unfortunately, there was no getting around this one. “Nico said yes. To meeting you.”

A totally un-Thalia like giddy sound rang through the phone. Jason’s lips curled into a frown. He hadn’t been lying to Nico earlier. Thalia liking him would be a no-brainer. After all, it wasn’t every day your baby brother fell head over heels in love, right?

What really terrified Jason was that Thalia would do what she always did— _pry._ There weren’t enough fingers in all of New York to count how many times Jason’s older sister had embarrassed him with her unabashed, blunt way of speaking. Thalia Grace was a spectacle, to say the least. Quite different from Jason, who was usually happy to mind his own business.

“Ground rules. Don’t bring up his family. He doesn’t need to be interrogated about every last detail, okay? And for the love of God, don’t get all cuddly and affectionate with him. Nico has a thing against touching. Growing up with a father like his will do that to you. Don’t ask questions that you know will make him uncomfortable. That includes anything sexual. I swear I’ll kill you if you bring _that_ up.” Okay, maybe the last one was more of a desire to _not_ have his sister prying into his own sex life, but really, there were some things sisters just shouldn’t know.

“Relax, Jason, what do you take me for?”

“My nosy big sister,” Jason replied.

“Touché. Text me when Mom leaves, okay?”

He sighed. “Yeah, I will. See you then.”

“See _both_ of you later,” his sister said. Jason could practically hear her smiling.

No matter how things went between Thalia and Nico, Jason was sure in for an interesting night.

 

…

 

“Can I turn the page?” Jason asked, resting his chin on Nico’s shoulder. In his hands, held out in front of both boys, was Jason’s latest read (or reread, technically), _The Long Walk._ Apparently it wassome lesser known Stephen King novel. However, Nico—who rested in the space between the blond’s legs—couldn’t have recalled a single thing that had happened in the last ten pages to save his life.

“Yeah, you can turn it.”

“That’s funny, because I just turned it eighteen seconds ago,” Jason said, placing his lips on the younger boy’s neck. “What’s up?”

Nico released a deep breath. “How can I read a book when your sister is on her way over here _right now_?”

Nico felt Jason’s laughter shake both of their bodies. He tossed the book to the side. “I told you, Nico, you have nothing to worry about. She can’t wait to meet you.”

Dark brown eyes glared into bright blue ones. “Nothing to worry about? The wanted criminal boyfriend angle doesn’t usually play off well with friends and family, you know.”

“Leo likes you.”

“Sure,” Nico scoffed. “Yeah, _that_ encounter went well.”

Kisses trailed up the skin of Nico’s neck and to his jaw. “Thalia already knows about you, though. So this time is guaranteed to go better.”

“Damn it, you jinxed it now, Sparky,” Nico teased.

“Oh, I’m gonna get you for that one!” The seventeen year old declared, pushing back a lock of raven hair and nipping at Nico’s ear. Suddenly, Nico’s back hit the mattress and Jason’s lips were pressed to his own.

Instead of pulling Jason down on top of him and deepening the kiss like he wanted to, Nico shoved Jason away after mere seconds.

“Hey!” The older boy protested with a frown.

“Thalia’s first impression of me is not going to be of your tongue down my throat, thank you very much.”

“Ruin all my fun,” Jason smirked, dropping a quick kiss on Nico’s cheek, “Fine. Mom’s gone, let’s get a snack.”

Nico sat on the counter swinging his legs gently as Jason removed the popcorn from the microwave.

The blond pouted, “It smells burnt.”

“Smells fine to me,” Nico shrugged, motioning for Jason to come closer. The blond obliged, suddenly standing in the space between Nico’s legs. The sixteen year old looped his legs around Jason’s back and lured him in closer. “If you won’t eat it…” He shrugged and snatched the bag away.

“Hey, wait!” Jason protested, “Share!”

Nico took a handful of popcorn and shoveled it into his mouth. “I thought it was burnt,” he reminded with a full mouth. The blond shook his head and reached out for the bag. Nico held it just out of reach, smiling wickedly.

“Give me some,” the blond whined.

“Come and get it,” Nico baited, chucking a single piece of popcorn at his boyfriend’s head.

A warm, strong hand pressed suddenly to Nico’s chest and pushed down until the cool counter was against his back. The hand suddenly became an entire body as Jason hoisted himself onto the center island as well and laid on top of him.

“Wait! Hey! Get off!” Nico said with a laugh, tossing more popcorn at Jason’s face. Then the older boy’s hand slipped under Nico’s shirt, admittedly distracting him enough that Jason was able to reclaim the popcorn bag. However, rather than eat it, Jason began hurling fistfuls of popcorn at Nico’s face. The younger boy collected the scattered pieces to retaliate, and naturally, it turned into full-on war, with Jason struggling to keep Nico’s arms above his head, Nico using his knees to try and shove Jason off of him, popcorn everywhere, and yeah, maybe a little bit of making out.

Nico tugged Jason down closer and kissed him deeply, enjoying the contrast of Jason’s warmth above him and the cool granite beneath. Of course, the fantastic kissing was interrupted when Nico decided to drop popcorn down the back of Jason’s shirt.

“Oops,” he chuckled.

“You’re in for it now, di Angelo!” Jason threatened, which Nico would have taken one hundred percent more seriously if the blond hadn’t leaned down and kissed him one last time on the cheek.

Two minutes later Nico found the popcorn bag to be entirely empty, which wasn’t a surprise considering half of it was in Jason’s pants and the other half had probably started renting apartments in Nico’s hair.

“You know, we should probably get cleaned up,” Jason noted, tracing a finger down Nico’s face.

“Yeah, that’s what we should be doing,” Nico agreed.

The only thing that ended up moving was Jason to place his lips on Nico’s all over again. Without thinking about it, the younger boy immediately deepened the kiss, looping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck.

In the living room, Nico heard a door open.

“Jason Grace, do you really keep the house key under the mat after all this time?” Came the voice of who Nico could only assume was Jason’s sister, Thalia.

And Nico was still reclined on the countertop with Jason more or less on top of him.

“Shit,” Jason hissed, scrambling off of the counter and pulling Nico up after him. The boys barely had time to brush the popcorn off of their clothes and fix their hair before she stepped completely into the apartment.

Yeah, so much for the whole _not_ making out plan…

Jason’s hand found Nico’s and he led the boy over to his sister, a wide grin lighting his entire face. There was Thalia, looking a lot different than Nico had pictured, a punk rock type girl with a curious look in her eyes—the exact color of Jason’s. Honestly, the younger boy couldn’t decide if he wanted to squeeze Jason’s hand tighter or tear away from him under his sister’s watching eyes.

“You know, Thals, it’s polite to knock before entering a home,” the blond boy teased, casually brushing his thumb across Nico’s knuckles for reassurance.

“I’m your sister, polite isn’t part of my job description,” she laughed.

“Well, Thalia, my ill-mannered sister, I’d like you to meet Nico, my boyfriend . Nico, this is Thalia.”

Jason’s sister—surprisingly with black hair, rather than blond—held out a hand to Nico. “Hi Nico, it’s _great_ to meet you.”

Hesitantly, he shook her hand. “Ah, screw it,” Thalia decided, going for the full-on hug instead. “I’m a hugger.”

Nico stiffened at the initial contact. Jason touching him was one thing, but this girl was not Jason. He stood there awkwardly, trying to reassure himself that touching other people was okay.

“Thals,” the younger Grace sibling warned. Thalia released Nico and looked over at her brother.

“What? I don’t bite,” she flashed Nico a mischievous grin, like the two of them were sharing some private joke, “Usually.”

Nico released Jason’s hand. Wow, he hadn’t talked yet. He really ought to talk. If he didn’t say something soon it was going to get uncomfortable.

But what to say?

_I promise I’m not really a murderer._

_So, social interaction isn’t exactly my strong suit, please excuse my inevitable awkwardness._

_Speaking of biting, wanna see the hickey Jason left on my shoulder last night?_

“Um, hey. I’m Nico.”

_Yeah, Nico, good one. Real smooth._

Thalia laughed lightly, “I figured that part out.”

“Oh, uh, right. Duh.” Damn it, blushing already. Damn pale skin and dark blushes. Damn it all.

“You’ll have to excuse Nico. The only person other than me he’s talked to lately is Leo,” Jason shared.

The black haired girl laughed, “Oh you poor thing! Leo’s an acquired taste, trust me. I’d like to think I’m much more…”

“Thalia if you’re about to call yourself flavorful I swear I’m walking out the door,” Jason said.

“Go ahead, leave me with your cute blushing boyfriend,” she smirked. Nico attempted to cover his face.

_“Thalia,”_ Jason whined.

“Fine. Fine. I’ll stop. Hey, do I smell popcorn?”

Nico glanced sideways at Jason and found the blond boy smirking back at him.

“It’s inedible, apparently,” Nico explained. “Jason _claims_ he burned it.”

The girl leaned forward and plucked something off of the youngest boy’s head.

“So he braided it into your hair?” Thalia inquired.

“Something like that,” Jason said, sneaking a quick kiss on Nico’s cheek.

“Well, I’m going to make myself some popcorn and _actually_ eat it,” she declared, starting for the kitchen.

Nico started to follow after her, but Jason grabbed hold of his sleeve. “Hey,” he said under his breath once Thalia was out of earshot, “You’ve got this, okay? Just relax.”

“I am the epitome of relaxed,” Nico lied. Jason shook his head and brought his lips to Nico’s for a single, short kiss.

“Of course you are.” The older boy stepped toward the kitchen, only for Nico to grab his shoulders and yank him back for a better kiss. Not as long and passionate as Nico would have liked, but certainly better than nothing.

“Okay, better now.”

And he was.

Jason smiled and gave Nico a look that insinuated he really would have liked to keep kissing, but knew they’d have to save it for later.

“What the hell did you do to the kitchen?” Thalia squealed. “There’s popcorn everywhere!”

Jason and Nico joined her in the kitchen, where the oldest Grace sibling stared in horror at the popcorn-covered floor and countertop.

“Nico started it,” Jason accused.

“Did not. You started it by trying to take the popcorn after saying you didn’t want any.”

“Boys,” Thalia sighed, shaking her head.

 

…

 

“So, Nico,” Thalia prompted, sitting criss-cross on the countertop with a popcorn bag perched on her legs, “Tell me about yourself.”

“I thought Jason already told you everything…” Nico said, shifting uncomfortably. Hadn’t he allowed Jason to tell Thalia to avoid having to talk about this himself? Nico was not ready to retell or even listen to the events of his shitty EBJ (existence before Jason). He’d lived it, and that was enough.

“Not _that_ stuff. I mean about _you._ I know there’s more to you than what they say on the news. What do you like? What do you do for fun? Who is the guy that has my little brother wrapped around his finger?”

 Nico couldn’t tell who looked more embarrassed, him or Jason. Thalia Grace got straight to business, Nico would give her that. “Uh… I’m really sort of boring.”

Across the room, his boyfriend snorted. “Yeah right.”

“I used to read. Not as much as Jason, but I’ve had a lot of time to read during the day now. This one keeps shoving books at me,” he nodded in Jason’s direction.

A small smile played across Thalia’s lips. “I used to force Jason to read all kinds of books when we were younger.”

“Remember when you spoiled Harry Potter for me?”

She laughed, “You _told_ me you’d already finished _Half Blood Prince._ ”

The younger Grace rolled his eyes.

“So what else do you do, when Jason isn’t forcing books at you?”

_Well, I make out with your brother a lot. And other things._ “Uh…”

“You watch that one TV show,” Jason recalled. “And you always yell at the characters.”

Nico laughed. Ah, yes. “Supernatural. Yeah, I’ve been following that show for years, at least when I can.”

Thalia perked up, “No kidding! My roommate Phoebe _loves_ that show. She always says she’s going to marry one of the guys.”

“Can’t blame her,” Nico shrugged.

Jason made a face, “Eh, they’re okay, I guess. If you’re into that sort of thing.”

Nico suppressed a huge smile. “Tell me you aren’t jealous of some TV actors, Jay.”

“Yeah, _Jay,_ ” Thalia added.

The blond glared at his sister and crossed to Nico, looping his arm around the boy’s waist. “Me? Jealous?” He snuck a kiss on Nico’s lips, “Never.”

Nico, predictably, felt his face flare up. Jason’s affection was quite commonplace, but Thalia smirking in the background made Nico feel awkward as hell. He’d never willingly had an audience while kissing someone before.

And damn it, Jason _had_ to start biting his lip afterward. Didn’t he realize how hot that was? Nico shoved Jason away before he completely embarrassed himself by like, groaning or trying to remove Jason’s clothes or something equally mortifying. Which of course only made Jason grin and run his eyes once up and down Nico’s body.

Nico wondered if Jason’s life goal was to turn Nico on at the most inconvenient of times. If so, it was working.

“Do I need to, uh, give you two a minute?” Thalia inquired, wiggling her eyebrows. Nico’s face grew redder than the freshly painted roses of Wonderland.

“No!” Nico answered immediately.

Jason laughed and finally freed Nico from the intensity of his eyes. “No, we’re fine,” he promised.

Nico spent the next fifteen minutes trying not to stare at Jason’s mouth. He really, _really_ tried.

Around ten o’clock Jason’s phone began to ring.

“It’s just Leo,” he said, “I’ll text him later.”

He declined the call and, almost as if unable to help himself, planted a kiss on Nico’s cheek. The trio had moved into the living room and were playing an unreasonably intense game of Monopoly. Together, Nico and Thalia had Jason in the poor house.

The phone rang again.

“Just pick it up,” Thalia encouraged, “Maybe it’s important.”

Jason sighed, “What’s up?” He said as greeting into the cell phone.

On the other end, Nico could hear Leo talking animatedly about something, but it was too fast for him to make out any of the words.

“Wait, slow down and start over,” Jason said, standing up. _“I’ll be right back,”_ he mouthed to Nico. _“Be nice,”_ he told Thalia.

Then the blond boy disappeared into his bedroom, leaving Nico alone with Jason’s sister.

She grinned widely, as if she had been waiting for this moment all along, and scooted closer.

“Soooo,” Thalia said, “My brother really, _really_ likes you, you know.”

Nico sorted through his rainbow money. “He said that?”

“More or less. But he didn’t have to. I know Jason better than anyone, and this is the happiest I’ve seen him in years.”

_Years?_ That couldn’t be possible. And yet, didn’t Nico feel the same way? Despite everything, in that moment he was unimaginably happy. Being around Jason numbed all of Nico’s stresses, so was it so unreasonable to think Nico could do the same for him?

“I don’t want to hurt him,” Nico said quietly, surprising himself.

“I don’t want you to hurt him, either,” Thalia admitted, “So we’re on the same page.”

Nico frowned. “For what it’s worth, I tried to do what was best for him and stay away. It’s just—I just—and he just—it just _happened_.”

“Hey, the way I see it, you can’t predict the future any more than you can change the past, Nico. And if you two make each other happy, who knows, maybe you _are_ what’s best for him,” she suggested.

_Even if I get him killed?_

“Thanks, Thalia,” Nico mumbled, “For, uh, not hating me. And stuff.”

She smiled, perhaps a little melancholy, “You didn’t choose your life. I hate that you have to go through all of this, but I could never hate you for trying to be happy.” Thalia laughed. “Although if you beat me in this game I may reconsider.”

Nico laughed with her.

They were still laughing when Jason returned.

“So what did Leo want?” Thalia inquired.

The blond shrugged. “What does Leo ever want?”

Nico destroyed his boyfriend in Monopoly.

 

…

 

“Okay, so I’ll be sure to stop by again before my flight leaves, okay?” Thalia said, squeezing her younger brother in a hug as she prepared to leave. Nico figured it probably had to be two or three in the morning.

“Sounds great, Thals. I’ll text you.”

They broke apart and the older Grace sibling fixed her attention on Nico. “It was great meeting you, Nico. Really, it was.”

Nico smiled. Despite being a little intimidated by the girl, he had to admit she was just as great as Jason had always described her. He found himself wishing that she didn’t live across the country. “Yeah, you too.”

“We’ll see each other soon.” Thalia stepped into her boots. “You two take care of each other, kay?”

Jason reached out and took Nico’s hand. “We will,” he promised.

Thalia winked at Nico and left.

What had _that_ been about, he wondered. Was Jason’s sister trying to tell him something?

He didn’t have time to dwell on it.

Jason pulled Nico closer and started to kiss down the side of his face. “I do love Thalia, but I’ve also been wanting to do this for _hours,_ ” he admitted.

Nico chuckled and tried not to act like his heart was beating hard enough to burst out of his chest.

“Yeah,” he agreed, “Alone time is nice.”

“Let’s go to bed,” Jason whispered.

And they did, but neither of them got much sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that all feedback is really appreciated! I love hearing from my readers! See you in less than a week!


	13. Good Intentions (They Say The Road To Hell Is Paved With These)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, unlucky number thirteen. I’ll have you all know I edited this with a fever and a headache because I love my readers so much.

“I’m going to miss her,” Nico declared Wednesday night as he and Jason lay cuddled up in bed.

Jason sighed and planted a kiss on the younger boy’s forehead. “Me too. It’s hard, never getting to see her. But hopefully that won’t be a problem in a few months.”

_Oh, right, Stanford._ Nico’s heart sank. Jason’s big dream of moving to California after graduation. Getting into Stanford would be a huge honor _and_ Jason would get to live with his sister. After meeting Thalia for himself, Nico could understand why he would want that. And Nico should have wanted it for him. There was just one problem…

If Jason moved to California, what would happen to Nico?

He hated himself for even asking that question. Jason’s life did not revolve around Nico. And he’d wanted Stanford for years, he’d only really known Nico a month. Wanting to keep Jason close was selfish. So selfish. Beyond selfish. Not to mention the fact that Jason was not supposed to be a permanent thing in Nico’s life. Saving his mother, _that_ was the plan, right? He thought about it day and night. Thought about his mother, scared and alone, not even sure if Nico was alive or dead. And she—Maria di Angelo—was Nico’s priority. He couldn’t allow Jason Grace to mess with that plan, love be damned.

And yet, he couldn’t shake the absolute _dread_ at the thought of being separated from the blond. Why did he have to go and fall in love at the most inconvenient of times? Why did he have to care so deeply for this guy that he couldn’t imagine losing him any more than he could imagine losing his mother?

He needed to get a grip. There was no need to make any major decisions yet. He could live in this fantasy world a while longer.

“When are you supposed to be hearing from Stanford?” Nico asked, unable to stop himself.

“Sometime next week, probably.”

The dark haired boy nodded, placing soft kisses across Jason’s collarbone.

“So,” Jason prompted a minute later, “What did Thalia want to talk to you about in private before she left?”

Under the cover of darkness and with his face in the crook of Jason’s neck, Nico thanked the gods that Jason couldn’t see how cherry red his face got.

“What your sister and I talk about in private is between me and your sister,” he chuckled, moving to kiss the blond’s cheek.

“Should I be worried?” Jason asked, running his fingers through Nico’s hair.

“Nah,” Nico replied, recalling his earlier conversation with Thalia Grace.

_“Why did you kick Jason out of the apartment?”_

_“Girl talk,” Thalia announced with a wicked grin._

_Nico’s stomach churned. “We aren’t having sex!” He blurted._

_Thalia laughed and shook her head. “Oh, I know. That’s not what I wanted to talk about.”_

_Nico buried his face in his hands. When did Jason and Thalia talk about his and Jason’s sex life?_

_“Well, talk away, I’m sure I can’t be any more mortified than I already am.” He declared, letting his hands fall to his sides._

_“Are you in love with Jason?” She inquired._

_Nico was wrong. He definitely could be more mortified._

_The look on his face must have said it all, because Thalia simply nodded. “I thought so.”_

_“You can’t say anything to Jason. Please. Please don’t tell him. Everything is so complicated with me right now and he just—he can’t know. Okay? Please.”_

_Thalia surprised Nico by pulling him in for a quick hug. He still wasn’t quite sure how to handle non-Jason people touching him, but he hugged back anyway, if not a little awkwardly._

_“I won’t breathe a word to him, I promise.”_

_“Thanks.”_

_“Nico?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Despite everything, I’m really glad that Jason has you. And I know Jason is too. He cares about you a lot. A lot.”_

_Nico wondered if Jason had told her that, or if she had surmised it just by being around him. If so, what else had she observed? Nico resisted the urge to ask her._

_“Can’t you stay a few more days?” Nico frowned._

_The girl smiled sadly, brushing his hair away from his face the same way Jason always did. “I wish. But don’t worry, I know we’ll meet again. And feel free to call me, okay?”_

_“Okay.”_

Nico wondered if he ever actually would see Thalia again. This thing with Jason could never be permanent, no matter how much Nico wished otherwise, and that thought clawed at Nico’s insides. How long did Jason and Nico have left before everything came crashing down?

 

…

 

Jason had dominantly thought of one thing for the past few days: Leo’s phone call. The news he’d shared with Jason. And what Jason should do about it.

The issue had been a moot point between Nico and Jason for a while now, and Jason didn’t know if acting on what Leo had told him would tear open old wounds or help seal them.

“So, I have a possible plan for rescuing your mom,” Jason casually mentioned over breakfast Thursday morning. Nico, who sat cross-legged across from Jason on the bed, frowned.

“And what would that be?”

“Me,” he replied. “Your dad has no idea who I am, right? So I could—”

“No.” Nico interrupted, his voice unwavering. “Absolutely not.”

“You didn’t even hear what I had to say,” Jason complained.

“The answer is still no. I’m not allowing you to put yourself in harm’s way, Jason. My mother’s safety is not worth you losing your _life._ And rest assured, if my father found out about… this,” he pointed between the two of them, “He wouldn’t hesitate in…” Nico stared down at his plate.

_Killing you._ The two words he wouldn’t say echoed in Jason’s ears—the loudest of them all. 

“Okay, I get it,” Jason hated lying to Nico. “I’ll drop it.”

His mind was made up.

 

…

Jason knew what needed to be done, but first he had to go to work. He supposed his plan could wait another day.

Instantly upon entering the store, Jason sensed something wasn’t right, but it took him a moment to actually process. Behind the cash register, where Annabeth usually sat reading, was a boy with black hair and familiar sea green eyes.

“Percy?” Jason exclaimed, “What are you doing here?”

“Annabeth has the flu, so I’m filling in for her today. Chiron’s okay with it,” Percy Jackson explained, flashing a smile full of white teeth.

Recently, Jason had been paying more attention to Percy. Two months ago he couldn’t have cared less about what went on in the life of Annabeth’s laid-back boyfriend. But that was before Nico di Angelo had happened. And, even though it may not have been a particularly close friendship, Percy seemed to be one of the few people in school who had actually known Nico and cared about who he was before the disappearance. That fact alone was enough to capture Jason’s attention. How was it that Percy Jackson became friends with Bianca and Nico? Did he know about their father’s abusive tendencies? Was that why he was hesitant to believe that Nico was Bianca’s killer?

Jason wished he could just ask without being, for lack of better words, _completely fucking obvious._

“How’ve you been, Jason?” Percy asked.

“Same old same old,” Jason shrugged. “You?”

“Good, although I think it’s _just_ hitting my mom that I’m graduating in three months. What about your mom?”

Jason shrugged. Most people remembered Jason’s mother as the typical stay-at-home trophy wife. Very few people knew what had become of the beautiful Beryl Grace. “Guess it hasn’t really phased her. I’m not her first kid to leave home.”

“Oh yeah, your sister. Thalia. She’s in San Fran, isn’t she? That’s where Annabeth’s family is from.”

A tall blonde woman in her late thirties came through the door, interrupting the boys’ conversation. “Excuse me, do you sell newspapers?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jason gestured at the multiple different newspapers on a rack near the cash register.

The woman waltzed forward and grabbed one that was _—of course—_ all about the search for Nico di Angelo: Teenage Murderer.

Jason rubbed his forehead. Nico was everywhere. His name in the halls, his old school yearbook picture in the papers, his taste still lingering on Jason’s lips...

Once she left, Percy made a disgusted noise. “You think in a city this big they’d find something new to talk about. It makes me sick.”

“Tell me about it,” Jason agreed, “Have you been watching the news lately?” His hand balled into a fist, which he quickly loosened. Best for him not to get too passionate about the matter here.

“I had to stop. All these people, it’s like they’re so sure. So certain that Nico did it and… I’m just not. Maybe I’m an idiot for saying that, but—”

“I don’t think you’re an idiot.”

Percy looked at him with honest surprise and confusion. “Really?”

Jason backtracked. “It’s just, there’s still a lot about the murder that we don’t know, right? There weren’t even any witnesses. They’re focusing all their attention on tracking down Nico, but they can’t even be certain he’s guilty.”

“Exactly!” Percy’s eyes brightened. “I know Nico, and he may seem really shady and unfriendly, but trust me, he is actually a really decent guy and he loves… _loved_ his sister probably more than anyone.”

Jason let out a deep breath, “Yeah, I know.” Percy raised an eyebrow. Jason mentally slapped himself, “I mean, I bet he did. They always seemed to stick together at school… and stuff.”

Okay, Jason officially needed to get to work before he put his foot back in his mouth.

“I should go see what Chiron needs me to do today,” he declared.

“See you around, Jason,” Percy said. As Jason walked toward the back of the store, he could feel Percy’s eyes on his back.

 

…

 

“Just come with us tonight,” Piper pleaded through the phone the following day. “The party starts around nine and Mitchell has been asking about you literally all week.”

“I think I have the flu, Pipes,” Jason lied, his breath puffing in the unseasonably cold afternoon air. He should have brought a heavier coat. When would Jason ever learn? Stupid New York spring break, this was still winter for crying out loud. “It’s going around, you know.”

“Liar. You better be avoiding Mitchell and not me.”

Guilt hit Jason like an unobservant cab driver. Yes, technically it was Mitchell he was dodging, but that didn’t mean he particularly wanted to spend time with Piper, either. She hadn’t done anything wrong, she was still one of his best friends and Jason loved her to pieces, but his secrets made a wall around him and letting anybody else inside was too big of a risk. Still, that didn’t stop Jason from feeling like a big bag of dicks around her when he knew he was lying directly to her face. This was _much_ easier.

“How could I avoid you when you call so much?” He teased.

“I hate you. Please consider coming to the party. Please.”

He turned the corner, eyeing the street sign. Mercer Street. If Leo was right, then this was the place. “Hey, Pipes, I gotta go. But I’ll think about tonight and get back to you, okay?”

She sighed, “Yeah, okay Jason. Later.”

“Later.” He pocketed the phone.

 The street wasn’t particularly exciting for New York. Apartment buildings with fire escape stairs climbing down their faces. The road—surprisingly cobblestone and not cement—had little traffic for lunch hour. Even fewer people walked the sidewalks. A residential area of SoHo, not too far from Little Italy.

Just as Leo had described it.

Jason straightened his back, took a deep breath, and headed toward the particular building Leo told him about on the phone the night Thalia had visited.

_“Leo, what’s up?” Jason asked, heading into his bedroom, “Thalia is over.”_

_“Wait, over at your apartment? You hide di Angelo under your bed or something?”_

_“No, I told her. Long story. And that’s not why you called.”_

_“Oh, right!” Jason heard Leo snap his fingers. “I have news for you!”_

_“I figured as much.”_

_“Dude, you talk like some old timey book character from English class. But whatever, we’ll talk about that later. I found something out today about your lover boy.”_

_Jason went rigid. “What?”_

_“Well, you see, I was just minding my own business, walking around town and all, stopping by a couple different Starbucks looking for the ladies. Girls treat that place like a church, I swear.”_

_“Leo,” Jason said “The point.” Leo Valdez could win prizes for his extreme level of ADHD. How he and Jason had been best friends for most of their lives was a mystery._

_“Yeah, I’m getting to it, Grace. Pipe down. Hey, Pipe down, I could use that on Piper sometime.”_

_“Leo!”_

_“Right, right. So anyway, I’m at this Starbucks in SoHo and you know who walks in and orders a grande Americano?”_

_“Who?” Jason demanded._

_“Hades di Angelo! That’s who!”_

_Jason froze. “What?”_

_“I know! Small world, right?”_

_“So what did you do?”_

_“Oh, you know, waltzed up to him and asked him to please not murder me and then gave him your home address.”_

_Jason rolled his eyes. “Not funny.”_

_“Well I did what any good wingman would do, of course! I followed him home.”_

_“WHAT?”_

_“Yup. But don’t worry about my safety or anything, I followed with plenty of distance. I know how you worry about me.”_

_“You’re sure it was his building?”_

_“He walked right through the front door, so I’m pretty sure. I jotted down the address.”_

_“Give it to me.”_

Jason stared up at the brick building, six stories tall with obvious signs of aging and a fire escape decorating the front. It was the kind of place that looked like it may actually house people, unlike Jason’s home, which resembled a business skyscraper.

But Jason knew the building was far from warm and fuzzy. It was a murder site. Bianca di Angelo’s life had been taken within those walls. Nico had been abused by his father for years. His mother still lived there, alone with a murderer.

And that was what drew Jason here. He had promised Nico that he would help save Maria di Angelo. He would do it for Nico, because he loved him. Loved him so much he could barely stand it.

Jason recalled the previous morning, when Nico had been so adamant about Nico not getting involved. But how could he sit back? If Jason could do something to help, how could he possibly not? This was something that Jason could do that Nico could not. He could go to Nico’s old home. He could try and gather information on Maria. Maybe even talk to her if he was lucky enough. Maria could be rescued by this time next week.

_And then she and Nico will run away and you’ll never see him again._

Jason shook the thought away. He wouldn’t think like that. He was not selfish enough to try and keep Nico close, not when his life was in danger every day he stayed in the country. Jason’s feelings did not matter in this, Nico’s wellbeing did.

But now that he was here, just feet away from the front doors, Jason realized he had absolutely no idea what to do. It wasn’t like he could just waltz in and say, “Hello, yes, I’m looking for Maria di Angelo, I’m her son’s boyfriend. Can you call her down?”

He’d tried to come up with a plan on the walk over here, but still found himself with no more than a faint idea of what to do. Oh well, too late to worry about that now. He steeled his nerves and crossed the street, heading for the doors.

He didn’t even make it it that far. Just as Jason reached the building, he collided with a tall, imposing man holding a briefcase. The briefcase clattered to the pavement and Jason stumbled back, nearly losing his balance.

“Sorry, sorry,” he mumbled, dropping down to scoop up the fallen item.

“It’s okay, we all find ourselves distracted sometimes, don’t we?”

Jason looked up at the man, nearly dropping the briefcase all over again. He knew that voice. He’d heard it multiple times on the news. And he definitely knew that face. Pale skin, dark hair, an angular face with deep-set eyes.

This was Nico’s father. This was Hades di Angelo.

Jason had been prepared for multiple scenarios of how this trip could go, but running into Hades outside of his building at only two o’clock on a Friday wasn’t one of them. Didn’t this man have a _job?_

With great sickness, Jason realized he could see a family resemblance between father and son. The same dark eyes and pale skin, the same blackish hair. But Hades’ eyes held none of Nico’s warmth. They were black coals on a lined, unforgiving face.

Jason flexed his fingers, resisting the urge to ball his hands into fists. This was the filth who had scarred Nico, physically and emotionally, for years. The man who had murdered Nico’s greatest source of joy. The man who had let his own son get blamed for a crime he didn’t commit. Jason wanted to kill him. He wanted to paint the fucking sidewalk with his blood.

But that would make him no better than the di Angelo patriarch. If Jason wanted to save Maria, he needed to be sneaky.

“I suppose I am a little distracted today,” Jason admitted. What to do now? He could turn back, yes. That would probably be safer. But could he really turn his back on this opportunity? What were the odds of running in to the murderer himself?

So he did something stupid. He went with it. “Um, do I know you? I swear I’ve seen you somewhere.” He handed the briefcase back to the man, managing not to flinch as Hades’ hands came within inches of Jason’s.

Hades appraised Jason carefully, an unreadable expression on his face. “Perhaps you do. My name is Hades. And I presume you are Jupiter Grace’s son?”

Jason’s froze, his blood turning to ice in his veins and stopping short of his heart. “You—you knew my father?”

“Yes, we attended Columbia together back in the day, and you truly are a spitting image of him, without the dark hair of course. You must get that a lot. I heard about his passing in the papers a while back. How unfortunate.”

Jason didn’t know how to feel about any of that. He hated being compared to his father but the fact that this monster had been friends—even if only old acquaintances—with his dad bothered him even more. “Yes, it is always hard to lose a family member.”

Hades frowned. “Indeed.”

He couldn’t run now. “Wait,” Jason said, “I know where I’ve seen you. Your daughter, Bianca, she—”

“Yes. It’s been quite hard on our family. Her loss.”

Jason nearly choked the life out of him. How dare Hades act sad. The murdering bastard.

_You are never laying a hand on Nico again._

“Your kids went to my school, actually. Bianca was a great girl. How is your wife coping?”

“What a small world. The incident has certainly taken its toll on Maria, she barely leaves the apartment I’m afraid.”

“It must be especially hard for her. Both of her children gone.”

Hades’ face revealed nothing. He was almost too composed, considering he should be in mourning. “What did you say your name was, Mr. Grace?”

“Jason.”

 “Honey?” A voice asked. Jason and Hades both turned to the door. At the top of the steps stood a woman, olive-skinned and dark-haired. She had probably once been beautiful, but exhaustion and grief had aged her. Still, the resemblance to Bianca was obvious. Maria di Angelo, no doubt about it.

“Maria, what are you doing walking around? You should be upstairs.”

“I wanted tea. We’re out of tea bags.”

Hades rubbed his forehead. “I’ll go to the store and get you more tea after dinner, okay?”

“Okay,” she said softly. For a moment, her eyes connected with Jason’s—pale brown and swimming with absolute, all consuming grief.

So close, yet so far.

_Nico is alive,_ he wanted to tell her. _Come with me, please. You don’t have to stay with this murderous bastard._

“Maria,” Hades chided gently. The moment between Jason and Maria broke. Her eyes flitted to her husband, for a moment filling with a new emotion. Fear? Jason couldn’t be sure from here, but the feeling was so strong that the air seemed saturated with it. Tension coursed through Jason’s body.

Then Maria di Angelo turned around and stepped back into the building. Jason’s shoulders slumped with defeat. That could have been his golden opportunity, and now it was gone.

“I should get going,” Jason said, still staring at the doors Maria had disappeared through.

“Well, Jason Grace, it was a nice surprise to meet you. Perhaps we will meet again.”

“Perhaps he will.” _Except you’ll be behind bars._

The polite thing would be to shake Hades’ hand, but Jason could not bear to touch him. He started down the street without another word.

 

…

 

When Jason returned home, he found Nico sprawled across the mattress, a book propped against a pillow in front of him.

“Hey,” the younger boy greeted with a smile, “Have fun doing inventory?”

Knowing how Nico would react if Jason told him where he really planned on going that afternoon, he’d instead made up a story about needing to help with take inventory at Delphi for a few hours.

“Boring,” he lied. “What are you reading now?”

“Uh, _A picture of_ _Dorian Gray._ You were right, Wilde is brilliant.”

“I am always right,” Jason joked, crawling onto the bed and planting a kiss on the other boy’s cheek.

“Mmhm,” Nico mumbled, drawing Jason in closer for a real kiss.

They melted together, Jason rolling to his back with Nico on top, arms and legs and tongues tangling together. A nearly perfect moment.

Nearly.

Jason knew he should tell Nico where he really went. Nico deserved to know that his mother, for the time being, was okay. Jason couldn’t lie to _Nico_. Not about something like this.

“I need to tell you something,” Jason whispered against the dark haired boy’s lips.

“What’s up?” Nico asked, tilting his head in confusion and pulling back slightly.

“Remember when Leo called me the night Thalia was here?”

“Yes,” he replied suspiciously.

“Well, he told me about… don’t freak out, okay?”

“Jason?” Nico sounded nervous now.

“He saw your father. At a coffee shop. And followed him home.”

Nico cursed. “What an idiot, what a fucking idiot. If I could wipe his memory I’d—”

“I went there today,” Jason blurted. Literally blurted. Like Jason physically couldn’t help but tell Nico the truth.

Suddenly, there was no Nico on top of Jason. “You _what?_ ” He demanded. “What the hell were you thinking, Jason!?”

“I said not to freak out,” the blond muttered.

“And you said you’d drop it, Jason!” Nico whisper-yelled. “You _told me_ you would let it go!”

“I’m sorry, but Nico you’re my boyfriend and I can’t just sit around when there are things I can do to help. Look, you’re stressing over nothing. The whole reason I’m telling you this is because I saw your mother.”

Nico paused for a minute, clearly torn between concern for his mother and anger at Jason. “How did you see her? How was she doing?”

“She looked good, considering. Tired, sad, but alive. I didn’t get to talk to her though, she was just telling your father something about tea and—”

Nico stiffened, getting off of the bed altogether. “My _father?_ ”

_Shit. Shit._

“I wasn’t planning on running into him, Nico, I swear. I just wanted some form of confirmation that your mom was okay and then I literally ran into him and—”

“You. Spoke. To. My. Father?” Now Jason could see the family resemblance more than ever. Nico looked ready to kill, and Jason was his victim.

“Just for a minute. I wasn’t obvious though. It’s fine. He knew my father apparently, but I did nothing to make him suspicious.”

“That you know of,” Nico spat. “God, you idiot! You mother fucking idiot! How many times have I told you to stay away from him, Jason? He could have killed you! Do you want to _die,_ you fucking dumbass!”

“Nico—”

“No,” Nico hissed, a fire burning in his eyes “Don’t even talk to me. I can barely look at you right now. Don’t you understand how hard I am trying to keep you safe? We’re already risking enough by being together and you have to go and poke the bear, don’t you? Always have to be the hero!”

“Nico—”

“Well you won’t look like much of a hero when you die needlessly! You die and Hades finds me and then what? Will he send me straight to the cops? Maybe torture me some more? What about my mother, Jason? You couldn’t just do this _one_ thing. You can make straight A’s in school but you fail when it comes to self-preservation!”

Jason felt like punching through a wall. Didn’t Nico get that he was only trying to help save the boy he loved? Yes, Nico was safely tucked away in his apartment now, but that solution came with an expiration date. The only real way out was to get Maria away from Hades and prove Nico’s innocence, and Nico couldn’t do that alone.

“What other choice do we have? You go outside, you risk your safety! I care about you and I want to help! I _can_ help.”

“You help by being here, with me,” Nico said in a low, angry voice. Never had Jason seen him so enraged. “Not by being a dumbass and skipping around under my father’s nose.”

“Stop calling me a dumbass,” Jason snapped, getting up and crossing to the bathroom.

Why was Nico being so unreasonable?

“Stop fucking acting like one,” the other boy replied. “You’re my boyfriend, not my bodyguard.”

“And your boyfriend should just sit around helpless all day when there are things he can do to help you?”

“I’m not asking you to save me!”

“You’re impossible!” Jason yelled, slamming the bathroom door.

“You’re the impossible one!” Nico replied, hitting the door with his open palm. “I knew this would happen. You just can’t leave well enough alone. I’m not going to let you get hurt over this.”

Jason swung the door open. “Oh yeah?” He asked sharply. “How do you plan on stopping me? You can’t even leave the room.”

Dark eyes narrowed at Jason, full of absolute, barely contained ferocity. “Get out.”

“What?”

“Get the fuck out of my face.”

“Nico—”

“If you don’t, I will,” he threatened.

This was stupid. They shouldn’t be fighting over this. But at the moment, Jason’s blood boiled too hot for him to think clearly. Maybe he _could_ use some air.

“Fine.” Jason said, storming past Nico and yanking his jacket from his desk chair.

He left without looking back.

 

…

 

Nico hoped Mrs. Grace was deep in a drunken slumber. He was pretty sure she was in the apartment right now, and well… the argument that had started out quiet enough had nearly turned into a shouting match by the time it ended.

Nico screamed into a pillow. Stupid stupid stupid Jason Grace. Why did Nico have to fall in love with the world’s most suicidal dumbass?

He sure didn’t love him right now. Nico felt mad enough to push Jason down a flight of stairs. How _dare_ he go against Nico’s one—his biggest—request and so blatantly put his life in danger? And then rub it in Nico’s face that there was _nothing_ Nico could do to help his mother _or_ stop Jason from doing so.

Well, there was _one_ thing Nico could do. He could leave.

Would Jason stop placing himself in the line of fire if Nico left?

He didn’t like to think that way. Couldn’t Nico be Jason’s boyfriend without also being his burden?

The only reason Nico had remained sane thus far was because of Jason. Without him… where would Nico be now?

It wasn’t fair. Jason could get out. Walk around. Breathe in the fresh air.

And Nico was a prisoner.

_“You can’t even leave the room,”_ Jason had said.

_Oh yeah, Jason?_ Nico thought, removing his coat from the closet. _Watch me._

 

…

 

Kicked out of his own apartment. Yeah, Jason had really done it this time.

By the time the sun began to set, Jason had walked so many blocks he lost count. On Houston Street he’d nearly been hit by a taxi, much to the driver’s annoyance.

Jason had screamed something at him along the lines of “Yeah, fuck off, buddy!”

Cab driver thought _he_ was having a bad day?

Jason’s stomach felt like one huge pretzel. A cold fist clenched around his heart, squeezing it so hard he thought it may burst from the pressure—and not in the good way this time. Nico di Angelo was the single least sensible person in the universe. Jason had just been fucking trying to help him! Trying to get him what he wanted most, his mother. And then, when Jason returned with actual news about her, rather than appreciate Jason’s honesty and thoughtfulness, Nico blew up at him.

Jason’s fists hadn’t unclenched since he left the apartment. Once his feet began to go numb, he took a left, toward the Hudson, and pulled out his cell phone.

“Hello?” A male voice answered. Definitely not Piper, but he _knew_ that’s who he called. “Jason?”

“Yes, it’s Jason. Who is this?”

“Mitchell,” the voice answered. Right, Mitchell. Of course.

“Hey,” he said, “Can you put Piper on?”

“She’s upstairs getting ready. How are you? You going to Khione’s party tonight?”

“Yeah, yeah, tell Piper I’ll be there.”

 

…

 

Nico had forgotten what it felt like to be so cold.

Damn this city. Why the hell did people come here for _vacation?_ Nico crossed a street, the lights of the Empire State Building far in the distance taunting him.

What did Jason like about that place so much anyway?

Stupid fucking Jason and his romanticized ideas. This wasn’t some exciting novel, this was the real world. And in the real world, the good guys rarely prevailed.

The sun had disappeared into the west only thirty minutes ago, but the temperature had already dropped probably ten degrees. Nico shivered and stumbled along with no idea where he was going.

He wasn’t ready to go back to the apartment yet. He didn’t even know _if_ he could go back at all. Wouldn’t going back send the message that Nico wasn’t serious about wanting Jason to stay away from his father? If he wanted Jason to truly be safe, then leaving once and for all would be better.

Except Nico wasn’t able to think like that yet. Even now, Nico felt homesick. Fucking homesick for an apartment that shouldn’t have been home for him.

No, that wasn’t right. This was Jason sickness.

They’d never had a fight before, not since the night they kissed, and even that had been nothing compared to this.

He’d never imagined he could hate and love someone so much at the same time, but apparently Jason was the exception to a lot of things.

Even though no one could really see him in the dim light, Nico kept his head low as he walked. The last thing he needed tonight was to be spotted by some random New Yorker.

Maybe Nico was just as stupid as Jason, but he wasn’t going to think about that now.

Nico was so distracted, he didn’t notice the payphone booth until he literally crashed into it.

“Fucking thing,” he cursed. How did these dinosaurs even exist anymore? It was 2014 for fuck’s sake. Everyone had a cell phone.

Well, everyone except for Nico, but that was beside the point. He’d _had_ a cell phone, back when life was his twisted version of normal.

When was the last time a pathetic loser had used one of these things?

The idea struck him instantly.

Today. Right now. Because wasn’t Nico _king_ of the pathetic losers?

The ten emergency dollars and assortment of coins he had guiltily swiped off of a jar on the kitchen counter on his way out didn’t seem so foolish now.

Swallowing hard, Nico reached for the phone, inserting the money with his other hand. Then he dialed the number. The phone number he knew by heart, even better than his own.

And for the next thirty seconds, the phone simply rang. Nico considered if maybe he’d wasted some of his precious money on a useless call. Then the person on the other end picked up.

“Hello?” The woman prompted. “Who is this?”

“Mom,” Nico whispered. It was her voice. Actually _her_ voice, after over a month. “Mom, it’s me. It’s Nico.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *evil laughter*
> 
> Also, chapter 14 will likely be the last regularly scheduled update. I'm only on chapter 15 myself so... Yeah. See you all on Friday!


	14. Drunk In Love (Or Just Plain Drunk)

 “Nico,” Maria di Angelo’s voice was unreadable. “You’re alive. Thank God.”

“So are you. Where is… he?” Saying “Dad” didn’t sound right anymore.

“At the store. But he’ll be back soon, Nico. Where are you? Are you safe? You shouldn’t have called.”

“I’m using a payphone somewhere in…” He looked around. “Chinatown.”

“You’re still in New York?” She hissed. “Out in the open? Have you lost your mind, dear?”

“Mom, I’m fine, I’ve been staying with a—”

“No,” she interrupted, her voice full of panic. “Don’t tell me. I can’t know where you are. Nico, you need to get out of New York. If your father knew—”

“I couldn’t leave without you. Grab whatever you can from the apartment and get out now, okay? I’m on my way.”

Before he could hang up, his mother shouted, “No! Nico, you can’t. You can’t come anywhere near me.”

Fissures formed on the surface of Nico’s heart. “What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere without you, and you can’t stay with him.”

“I am the parent here, Nico. Get out of the city now. It’s not safe for you.”

Nico’s voice was high with desperation, “Mom—”

“I’ll be fine. And when the time is right, maybe I will be able to get away, but not now.”

“Mom, you’re a witness, he’d kill you before he would let you get away.”

His mother said nothing to that. “Get out. Now. And you can’t call me again. It’s not safe.”

“I—I can’t—”

“You can. I love you. Addio, mio caro.”

“Mo—”

The line went dead.

“Damn it,” Nico cursed, slamming the phone back into place. “Damn it. Damn it!”

How could he save his mother when she didn’t even want to be saved? Weeks of struggling for a way to rescue her, and his mother didn’t want him to. _She_ was trying to protect _Nico._

But Nico knew he could never leave without her. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t dream of it. All along, his goal hadn’t been to get revenge on his father, not to clear his name, not to walk free under the sun, his biggest wish had been just to get his mother. To escape with her and never see his father again.

Now, he was utterly lost.

Nico slumped against the telephone booth, sliding down the wall until he lay slumped on the floor, and began to cry.

Tears were so useless. God, Nico hated crying. Try as he might, he couldn’t stop the feeling of hopelessness from turning to liquid and spilling from his eyes. Fuck his father. Fuck his self-sacrificing mother. Fuck Jason. Fuck the whole fucked up world. He didn’t quite know which of them he was crying for anymore. Perhaps all of them.

Where did Nico go from here?

Maybe he should listen to his mother. If she wouldn’t go with him, then the sooner Nico got out of town, the better. Why hang around in a city where everyone knew your face and wanted to see you behind bars?

He still had ten dollars in his pocket. Not much, but more than he had when he ran away the first time. Maybe, in time, his mom would be able to get away too. Maybe they would find each other. And they could be safe, just like Nico had dreamed of.

The safest option. The smartest option. Right?

_You know that isn’t the right decision,_ his conscience whispered. _Running away isn’t the answer._

Nico scolded himself. Of course running away was the fucking answer. Staying in New York was practically suicide. And why bother? What did he have here, if not his mother?

Nothing. Nothing to hold him.

_Liar,_ his heart accused.

Jason Grace.

Jason _Fucking_ Grace.

He’d never been part of Nico’s plan. Nico had been right to try and shake him initially. He should never have fit into this equation. Should not be even a blip-it on Nico’s radar.

But that didn’t matter anymore. Jason, for better or for worse, had rooted himself in Nico’s heart, and no amount of anger or fear or frustration could destroy that. Nico loved him. God, did he ever love him.  

And well, he supposed that Jason must have cared a lot too, to do something as stupid as tracking down Nico’s old apartment building. People did stupid shit because they cared, right? That counted for something.

Jason was still an idiot, though. Caring or not, Nico didn’t need to date some hero. He didn’t want to love someone so willing to put himself in danger. He didn’t want to lose Jason. He couldn’t. In all of the insanity, the loss, and the fear, Jason was there, a lighthouse flashing through the darkness.

The problem was, Nico couldn’t seem to walk away any more than he could sit around and watch the boy he loved endanger his life. Love. What a contradiction it was.

Ever since realizing the depth of his feelings, the word swirled around inside of him. This was what it meant to be in love with someone. No matter how angry he got, no matter how much he wanted to punch Jason in his perfect fucking face, he couldn’t turn away from him. He couldn’t turn away from the feelings Jason stirred inside of him.

He just couldn’t.

So he turned around.

And went back.

Cursing himself the whole way.

 

…

 

Jason, Piper, Leo, and Mitchell stood outside of Khione Winters’ building, staring up at the stone facade.

“Wow,” Leo whistled. “Her family must be loaded.”

Jason didn’t care.

“Well, Valdez, if you’re done gawking, I’d like to see how you New Yorkers party,” Mitchell said, his eyes landing on Jason, even though he spoke to Leo.

Jason didn’t care about that, either. He’d be happy to pretend Mitchell didn’t exist at all, and he also didn’t care if that made him a dick.

He wasn’t here to cheat on his boyfriend.

_If he_ is _still your boyfriend,_ a voice whispered in his mind. Jason shook it off.

Rule number one of the night: don’t dwell on what happened with Nico.

Rule number one was easier said than done.

“Yeah, let’s go inside,” he said, starting forward without waiting for the rest of the group. He needed loud music. He needed music so loud he couldn’t think.

By the time the others caught up, Jason had already summoned the elevator. Leo and Mitchell argued over New York parties versus LA parties as they rode up. Piper shot Jason a look of concern.

_You okay?_ She mouthed.

Jason ignored her. Piper’s concern grew.

On the way to Piper’s, Jason had been forced to stop and throw up in an alley behind a restaurant. It hadn’t been pleasant.

Could heartsickness lead to _actual_ sickness?

Maybe he _did_ have the flu after all.

The sound of the party floored Jason the second he stepped out of the elevator, pounding through the walls. A wonder the cops hadn’t shown up. Though, the residents of the building had surely grown used to the noise.

A word or two about Khione Winters: Her father came from money, as did his father, and his father’s father, and his father’s father’s—you get it. The family moved to Manhattan from Quebec City three years ago and since then, the three children had become exceptionally popular through their parties. Their single father spent most of his weekends conducting business in Canada, leaving his luxurious financial district penthouse apartment with his three little angels.

A poor decision, Jason mused as he walked through the front door and was floored by the sheer number of teenagers. Or, not _all_ teenagers, Jason supposed. Khione’s older fraternal twin brothers Cal and Zethes had graduated the previous year and were now attending NYU. A miracle, considering they must have had a combined IQ of twelve. But Jason figured their father had more to do with that than anything.

The air stank of alcohol. Beer and vodka and tequila and God only knew what else floated around in cups. Music shook the room. People packed every corner, jumping and dancing and kissing and— _whatever_ those girls were doing on the table.

“I wonder if Calypso is here!” Leo yelled, leaning in close so Jason could hear him.

“I wonder if anyone in the senior class _isn’t_ here,” Jason retorted. This party idea had sounded like a good distraction, but now that he was there, Jason felt claustrophobic and irritated and he wanted nothing more than to go home, cuddle up with Nico, and watch a movie.

_Too bad he hates you._

“Want to dance or something?” Mitchell asked, barely heard above the music. He casually brushed his hand against Jason, who flinched in response.

“I need a drink,” Jason muttered, walking away.

Jason Grace, who never drank , especially not at parties. Who almost never went to parties to begin with.

“Hey, Jason!” Connor Stoll greeted, pushing a cup into Jason’s hand. “Try this! Trav and I came up with it ourselves.”

Jason didn’t question, he took a sip.

The alcohol burned in his throat, nearly causing the blond to choke. “What the hell is in this?”

“Don’t ask,” Connor grinned, disappearing into the crowd and leaving the cup with Jason.

The absolutely disgusting drink.

Without a second thought, Jason downed half of the cup. This time, he did choke a little.

“Can I try?” Mitchell asked, once again appearing beside him. What the hell was with this dude? Jason could have told him to shove off, but didn’t really see the point. Just because he was in a bad mood, didn’t mean he had to be a total asshole.

Wordlessly, Jason thrust the drink at him. The other boy smiled and took a sip. The smile faded. “This tastes like someone poured four different drinks into one cup!” He yelled.

Jason shrugged. Mitchell handed  back the cup with a puzzled look on his face. “You’re really quiet tonight,” he announced barely heard over the music.

_I don’t want to be here anymore._

And Jason knew Mitchell hadn’t done anything wrong, but looking at the boy only upset him more. He had dark hair, almost black like Nico’s, but his eyes were green and his skin was tan and he kept looking at Jason like he was expecting something from him.

“I’m always quiet,” he snapped, finishing the cup and making his way into the crowd.

 

…

 

Two hours and countless drinks later, Jason found himself in a room upstairs with a group of college students he’d never met. They were loud, crude, lewd, and probably the last people Jason would normally associate himself with.

Which made it the perfect place to hide from his friends and get absolutely plastered.

He supposed the group wasn’t so awful, they didn’t pry, they kept the alcohol moving, and most importantly—they didn’t utter a single word about Nico di Angelo.

A fist closed around Jason’s heart and he took a long gulp straight from the bottle of tequila he’d been clutching for the last twenty minutes.

“Hey, maybe you should slow down a little—Jordan? Justin?” One of the girls asked. Jason had heard a guy call her Lou Ellen. He thought. Honestly, it was hard to keep anything straight in his mind other than the fact that Nico hated him. His boyfriend kicked him out of his own damn house. Jason took another swig and decided he rather despised the taste of tequila.

“Jason,” Jason corrected, “And I’m fine.”

“Fine? At this rate, you’re gonna finish the whole fuckin’ bottle. You look like shit, man,” the blond guy beside Lou Ellen slurred.

“I feel like shit,” Jason retorted, clutching the bottle tighter.

“I’ll drink to that,” another guy—a bulky dude with an out-of-place rainbow tattoo—announced, tipping back the rest of his cup. Jason vaguely wondered what had been in his cup and if it tasted better than pure tequila.

“A fuckin’ men,” the first guy said. He and Lou Ellen both drank.

“S’what’s going on with you?” Lou Ellen asked, sliding herself closer to Jason and pouring some of his bottle into her cup. Jason frowned. _Get your own damn bottle._

“Everything,” he groaned, suddenly feeling an overwhelming need to vent. She wasn’t Piper, but he supposed this drunk college girl would do. “I got in a fight with my boyfriend. We—we’ve never fought before. And I said stupid shit and now he like, fucking hates me and I can’t go home because he’s there and he told me to get out and I don’t want _him_ to leave and—and—” In a sudden fit, Jason chucked the half empty bottle across the room, watching as the contents spilled everywhere and the glass shattered. “Everything is fucking ruined and it’s never going to be fixed! Just like that fucking bottle!”

“Whoa, dude,” rainbow guy said, placing a cautious hand on Jason’s shoulder. “Calm down, I’m sure things will work out.”

“No you’re not!” Jason wailed, shoving him away. Fuck, why had he wasted so much tequila. His plan to drink until he felt numb wouldn’t exactly work without the alcohol. “You have no idea!”

“Here,” the third, smallest guy said, passing Jason his cup. “You need this more than I do.”

“I think he’s had enough to drink tonight, Cecil,” Lou Ellen chided, sounding more sober than she had a minute ago.

“I knew he didn’t want me to interfere,” Jason moaned, “But I just wanted to help him! I—I was trying to—”

Forming sentences felt a lot harder than usual, though Jason couldn’t tell if it was due to his frustration or the two miserable hours of intense alcohol consumption. As if it mattered.

As if anything mattered.

It was all hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. Jason was a fuck up of a boyfriend and now he could lose the only guy he’d ever loved.

“I love him,” Jason admitted, “I love him so much. I love him so so so so so so so so much.”

“Will,” Lou Ellen said, addressing the blond dude, “Maybe we should clean up the glass.”

“It’ll be fine,” Cecil interrupted, shoving her arm. “We are helping our poor gay friend Julian through a major crisis.”

“Jason,” Jason corrected glumly, snatching away the bottle of… Jason honestly didn’t even know what… from between the Cecil and Will and took a large gulp, nearly choking in the process. It had a horrible artificial fruity taste. Alcohol really was disgusting, but if it made his mother’s problems go away, eventually it would have to start working on him.

“Julian, Jason, same whatever,” Cecil waved a hand in the air

“Maybe he’s bisexual like me,” Will grinned. “I could make you forget about your boyfriend I bet.”

“My cousin Luke is gay,” Cecil offered, “If things don’t work out with your guy you could totally jump his bones. Or he could jump yours. Whatever’s cool.”

Be with… not Nico? Jason felt nauseated just considering it. (At least, that was probably why he felt nauseated.)

“Castellan is with Ethan Nakamura now,” Lou Ellen chirped. “Where have you been?”

“I don’t want to be with anyone else!” Jason hollered. “Only Nico!”

“Okay, okay, it’s okay,” Lou Ellen said, slinging her arms around Jason. “S’all okay. We’re friends, Jeremy. Here, I’ll give you my phone number and you can call me if you ever want to talk.” She dug around for his cell phone.

Jason didn’t bother correcting her this time. He feared if he opened his mouth he would begin to sob. And sob. And sob.

So instead he just shook his head and pushed his palms into his eyes. Fuck, he really felt shitty. But at least his current ailments distracted from the cheese grater wearing away at his heart.

Then the door opened, hitting the rainbow guy in the back and causing a string of curse words to spill from his mouth.

Jason examined the new arrivals—maybe they’d brought drinks—and saw the faces of his friends.

_Well, shit._

Piper led the charge, Leo at her side and lingering just behind both of them, Mitchell. Jason frowned at the trio. He didn’t want them around. Piper, with her scary intuition, Leo with his knowledge of Jason’s romantic life, and Mitchell… Mitchell was a problem for numerous reasons.

“Jason?” Piper said, scowling down at him. “What are you doing? We haven’t seen you since we got here. We’ve been looking for you.”

“I didn’t want to be found,” he mumbled. Being around Piper and Leo and Mitchell only intensified Jason’s feeling of misery. He felt like he may burst. His mind zeroed in on one topic, one thing, one name. Nico. Nico Nico Nico Nico.

“One of those guys your boyfriend?” Lou Ellen asked, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Boyfriend?” Piper asked, glancing over her shoulders at the other two and then focusing her gaze on Jason. Who even cared if Piper knew the truth? Why shouldn’t she? Maybe Piper would know what to do, maybe she’d know—

“Well, we found Jason, now,” Leo said hurriedly, pushing into the room. “Come on, Jase, time to go.”

Jason threw his fist down onto the floor. “No! No I don’t want to go! I want to stay here with my new friends! This is Lou Ellen and Cecil and Will and…” he paused at the rainbow boy, “And that guy. I’m never going home! I can’t! He’ll get mad and—”

“Dios mio, Jason. You’re completely wasted, aren’t you?”

“Why would you say that?” Jason demanded, standing up shakily. “I—I’ve only had a little bit to drink!” He was aware that this was a total lie. Even as he stood, the room spun around him. Spinning as if the whole world was turning around Jason while he stood perfectly still at the center of it all. But Leo didn’t need to know that.

“What’s he going on about?” Mitchell asked Piper quietly. The dark haired girl shook her head. Whoa, okay, too much moving at once. Shit.

 “I’m a bad boyfriend!” Jason wailed, falling onto the bed. “I’m such a fuck up!”

“Probably just crazy drunk talk,” Leo deduced quickly, crossing to the bed. “I’ve never seen Jason take more than a sip of champagne in over three years. And God only knows how much he drank tonight.”

“I’m not drunk!” Jason grumble again. “I feel fine! No, I don’t feel fine. I feel like shit. But then Travis—or maybe Connor—gave me a drink and now I have a headache but what does it even matter? I’d rather have a million headaches than go home, Leo!”

Leo gave him a look as if to say, _close your fucking mouth right now you damn idiot._

“We’re going to talk about this, but first let’s get you home, Jason,” Piper said. “We’ll call a cab.”

“No!” Jason shouted. “I can’t go home! That’s the problem. He’s too pissed! I can’t face him! I’m a fuck up. I’m a fuck up. Fuck. Get me a drink.”

“Who is pissed?” Piper urged.

How dense was she? “You’re the one acting like the drunk one, Piper. Who do you think? It’s N—”

“Mitchell, can you get Jason some water?” Leo blurted suddenly, cutting off Jason mid-sentence and clapping a hand over his mouth. “And Piper, call a cab?”

“Leeeeeeeeo,” Jason groaned, tearing the hand away. He could smack the Latino right now. Jason needed to talk to Piper about this. Piper would fix things. “It’s rude to interrupt people. I’m just trying to tell them—”

“Jason, you’re wasted. Shut up now,” Leo warned, talking right over him. The blond pouted.

“How about Mitchell gets the water and calls the cab?” Piper suggested. Jason almost saw gears turning in her head, which he may have found funny if he weren’t so damn depressed. Normally Leo was the one with a mechanical brain.

“Mitchell doesn’t know the first thing about New York cabs. Actually, you know what, I’ll take Jason and we’ll wait outside for the cab to come. I’ll call. Piper, you find Khione and tell her thanks. Mitchell, make it a bottled water.”

Before his friends could utter a word of protest, Leo dragged Jason out the door by his ear.

“By Jonathan!” Lou Ellen sang drunkenly. “Text me some time! We’ll hang!”

“You fucking idiot,” Leo scolded as they retreated down the hallway, checking over his shoulder. “What are you thinking?”

“I love him, Leo,” Jason said, as if to justify everything. “Did you know that? I looove him. I just love Nico and I want him to not be mad at me and love me too. I love him love him love him love him soooo much.” He felt on the verge of tears. In fact, throwing a tantrum sounded quite appealing to Jason.

Leo looked around hastily once more and pinched Jason’s lips between his fingers. “Stop talking idiot, before you let the whole world know who has been hiding in your bedroom,” he hissed.

They elbowed their way through the crowd—okay, Leo did all of the elbowing—and finally wound up back at the elevators. They got n alone and Leo quickly pressed the button to shut the doors.  “But he needs to know how much I love him! Maybe if he knows that I love him—he won’t be mad. I could message him right now and tell him how much I love him and—”

Jason’s phone was snatched right out of his hands. Damn Leo Valdez. Damn him to hell. Jason needed to tell Nico, he needed his phone. He couldn’t just send telepathic messages. Leo pocketed the phone. “Oh no, Casanova. You aren’t breathing a word of love to that boy when you are drunk off your ass. Got that?”

“But—but—”

“Jason, there are two things I am certain of. One, Kevin Jonas will never have a solo career, and two, you never make any big declarations when you’re drunk. Never never never. Whatever is going on with you two, it’ll get worked out.”

“You make no sense, Leo,” Jason informed as they crossed through the lobby.

“Of course I do! Now come on, we gotta get out of here before Piper and Mitchell show up. You’re a little too chatty for your own good, Jase.”

“You really think I can work things out?” He mumbled.

“The way that boy looks at you? Wouldn’t surprise me at all. Of course, there is the issue of your fantastic drunkenness.”

“Don’t fucking mock me. I’m not drunk,” he protested as he tripped on the front step of the building. “Damn it! Fucking ground!”

“You’re hopeless,” Leo sighed.

 

…

 

Nico stared at Jason’s computer screen, wondering if he should just go ahead and message Jason. _Come home,_ he wanted to say. It was past midnight now, and still no sign of the blond. Granted, Nico had told him to get out, but it wasn’t like Jason could move out forever. Yet here Nico sat at 12:03am, utterly Jasonless and more miserably alone than ever.

Sister: Dead

Mother: Doesn’t want to be saved

Boyfriend: ……

He sighed and closed the laptop. Fuck Jason. Maybe a night wandering in the cold would do his idiot brain some good. Maybe Jason could go to Nico’s old apartment to warm up over his father’s fireplace. Or in the oven, kabob style. Who fucking knew with Hades di Angelo?

Nico slammed his fist against the desk with a growl of frustration.

Where the _hell_ was Jason?

He could stay gone, Nico was done with him.

If he didn’t get back in the next thirty seconds Nico would go out looking for him.

Nico would bolt the damn apartment door and let Jason beg.

Nico only wanted to cuddle against the blond and forget this day had ever happened.

He was angry enough to kill Jason himself.

He loved him like crazy.

  1. It was like Nico had two different brains, the one that wanted to strangle Jason and the one who wanted to hug him so tight he could barely breathe.



Nico went to the kitchen and started a kettle of water. He could _really_ use a steaming cup of hot chocolate right now. Being in the apartment all alone was a lot more depressing when he wasn’t sure when Jason would return.

Should Nico make Jason a cup of chocolate too? What if he was cold when he returned? No, that wasn’t Nico’s problem. Fucking let that meddling bastard be cold. In fact, Nico didn’t even know if he would say a single word to him.

When the kettle began to whistle, Nico poured himself a cup and located the powder Jason used. He methodically spooned the powder into the cup and stirred, focusing on the drink and only the drink. Only after a minute of tedious stirring did he recall that Jason put the powder in the cup _before_ the water. He threw the spoon into the sink in frustration.

Nico crossed to the fridge to get the whipped cream—he wanted to replicate the drink as closely as possible—and cursed to find there wasn’t any. “Fucking perfect.”

No whipped cream. No idea where Jason was. No fucking point in doing anything. He poured the cocoa down the sink without a single taste. Had he really though a hot beverage would solve all of his problems? Sherlock Holmes couldn’t even solve all of Nico’s problems.

Then, a miracle happened. Or maybe a nightmare. The front door opened.

Nico’s entire body tensed as he turned to the sound. Jason, finally? Or Mrs. Grace? Which would be worse right now?

He didn’t expect to see the stupid mug of Leo Valdez shoving Jason through the front door while he protested, “No Leo I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t.” The blond slumped against Leo and nearly sent them both toppling over.

“Damn it, Jason, control yourself.”

Nico’s feet carried him in the direction of the boys, almost without meaning to. Something was wrong with Jason, and Nico had a sick feeling he knew what.

“Leo?” He questioned. “What are you—”

“Your boy toy is fucking wasted. Absolutely plastered. And not my problem anymore,” he shoved the drunken boy in Nico’s direction. Jason stumbled into Nico’s arms and gripped his shoulders for support.

“Nico,” he groaned. “I’m sorry. I’m—don’t be mad at me. I wasn’t thinking! Forgive!” Jason fell to his knees and clung to the younger boy’s legs. Nico stared down at him in wordless shock. Jason, _his_ Jason, drunk? What the fuck had he been thinking?

“Where the hell were you two? You didn’t think to _stop_ him from drinking? I notice you’re perfectly sober,” Nico snapped, absentmindedly brushing his fingers through his foolish boyfriend’s hair.

Concern for his wellbeing first, anger could come later.

“What, no ‘Thanks Leo for bringing my boyfriend home before his drunk ass could blab to the whole world about how he’s hiding me in his bedroom, that was so kind of you to leave the party early.’ And it’s not like I followed him around all fucking night, you know.”

_Party?_ Nico wanted to demand. Instead he let out a deep breath and tried to quell his anger. “Thank you, Leo.”

“I mean, tons of fine ladies were hoping to get a piece of the Leo and I had to turn all of them down to take Jason’s sorry ass home. Really, you’re lucky I’m so thoughtful and selfless.”

“Don’t push it,” Nico growled. “It’s your damn fault he even knew where I lived, you moron.”

“Nicoooo!” Jason wailed. “Stop ignoring me. We can fix this! We can work it out! I’m sorry! I’m sorry.” Nico glanced down at the blond—looking absolutely pathetic with his arms wrapped around Nico’s legs—and sighed.

“Come on, let’s sit you down on the couch,” he said, unlatching Jason’s arms and practically dragging him to the sectional, which would have been much easier if Jason didn’t fight him on it.

“We’re made for each other, Nico! You can’t get rid of me! Please! We can watch Casablanca! Kiss me!”

Nico deposited him on the couch. “Stay here and lay down, got it?”

Jason gave a sorry nod and frowned, like a scolded child.

The younger boy rubbed his forehead and crossed back to Leo.

“At least he’s home now,” Leo said. “I’m sure Mitchell would have loved to get a piece of him if I hadn’t been there.”

Mitchell, Mitchell, Mitchell… where had Nico heard that na—

Piper’s cousin. The family reunion.

Oh hell no. _Had_ he tried to move in on Jason? Had anything happened while Leo wasn’t around? A sick feeling twisted in his gut. No, no, Jason wouldn’t do that. Argument or not, Jason wouldn’t cheat on Nico to spite him, right?

Maybe _sober_ Jason wouldn’t… _Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck._

“Look,” Leo said, interrupting Nico’s internal freak out, “I don’t know what happened between you two and I don’t care, but don’t blame me. Just fix your fucking problems, it’s annoying. Besides, you two live together, is any argument really bad enough to change that? I’m just saying, Jason may be  an idiot, but he also really _really_ cares about you. So just forgive him, okay? I don’t want to have to do this again.”

Nico could only stare at him. He couldn’t tell if Leo actually gave a crap, or if he really was just annoyed to have to deal with it like he’d claimed, either way, the words of Jason’s best friend surprised him. Nico had got the impression that Leo would really rather Nico fall off the face of the earth and leave Jason alone forever, yet here he was, telling Nico to give Jason another chance. And he’d followed Hades several blocks knowing exactly how dangerous he was.  

“Th—thanks again, Leo.”

“Don’t mention it, di Angelo,” Leo replied. “No, really, don’t mention it. I’m too pretty to go to prison.”

Nico rolled his eyes. So much for the moment of questionable friendship. “You’re an asshole,” he told the Latino half-heartedly.

Leo chuckled. “Yeah, yeah. Take care of your boyfriend, he’s going to feel like shit in the morning.”

“He’s so stupid,” Nico sighed, his eyes drifting back to Jason, who sat pouting on the couch.

“Tell me about it.” Leo left, dropping Jason’s key on the counter on his way out.

And Nico was suddenly alone with Jason.

“Nico, come here,” Jason whined, “I just want to cuddle. Don’t hate me, please.”

“I don’t hate you,” the younger boy said, keeping his feet firmly in place. He still loved Jason, but that didn’t mean he was ready to ignore what had happened earlier, what Jason had said, or how he’d handled himself afterwards. “But I am pretty fucking pissed at you.”

Jason hung his head in shame.

“Is this how you handle conflict, Jay?” Nico asked as he began pacing the room. “You go out and drown yourself in alcohol? Your mother is a fucking alcoholic! What goes through your mind half the time? How big of a death wish do you have?” He threw his arms up in the air.

“I—I’m sorry,” Jason sniffled.

Nico halted. Was Jason crying?

He started crying harder. “I up—upset you. I was so ash—ashamed. I c—can’t lose you.”

The dark haired boy watched as his boyfriend curled into a ball and sobbed on the couch. Perhaps Jason was still a little too drunk for a lecture. “Jason, shh, it’s okay,” Nico soothed, going to kneel beside the couch. The sobs calmed down to just tears.

“Please don’t hate me! We need—I need—each other—need—fuck, maybe I did drink too much,” the blond sputtered.

“Let’s talk about this when you’re sober, okay?” Nico suggested, wiping away Jason’s tears.

“You don’t—you—hate me?” He choked, looking on the verge of sleep at this point.

“I already told you I don’t. I’m your boyfriend, Jay. Now come on, you’re too full of alcohol for us to be having this conversation. Let’s put you to sleep.”

“Kiss me,” Jason muttered as Nico helped him off of the couch. He leaned in and tried to place his lips on Nico’s, but the younger boy easily shoved him off.

“I don’t kiss drunk people,” he stated, guiding Jason down the hall and to their bedroom.

Once they got into the room, Nico retrieved the old comforter from the closet, the same one he had used as a makeshift bed when he’d first started staying here. “You’re too drunk to sleep in the bed,” Nico told the blond. In Jason’s current state, he’d probably end up vomiting or pissing all over the sheets.

“I hate the floor,” Jason protested, attempting to nuzzle against Nico’s neck.

“You should have thought of that before you decided to drink away your bad feelings,” he retorted without sympathy, dropping the comforter on the floor between the bed and the bathroom. He considered getting Jason some medicine, but figured that the other boy would just end up throwing it up. That would have to wait until morning. Hydration though, that Nico could do.

“Get ready for bed, I’ll go get you a glass of water,” Nico announced. Jason gave a solemn nod.

As Nico stood in the kitchen and filled a cup with water, he allowed himself to consider what would happen when Jason was sober again. They couldn’t just go back to normal, obviously. But Nico also knew he couldn’t stay mad at Jason, at least not for long. He supposed his boyfriend had acted with good intentions, no matter how stupid they were. Reasonably, he knew the smartest answer was still to get out of Jason’s life, but that didn’t seem like it was going to happen. Maybe he could have managed it three hours ago, but now? With Jason home and—reasonably—safe? Nico wouldn’t, Nico _couldn’t_ leave his side now.

What a fucked up situation these boys had gotten themselves into.

Back in the room, Nico found Jason passed out on the floor, fully clothed and only half on top of the blanket Nico had left for him. Rather than try to rouse him, Nico shut off the lights and pulled the blanket so it partially covered the blond.

“Night, Jay,” he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on top of the blond’s head.

“I love you,” Jason mumbled, his eyes cracking open for only a second. Nico tensed. Then, just as quickly, the blond was deep asleep once more.

Had Jason just… Had he been talking to Nico?

_No,_ Nico thought. Drunk talk. It had to be. For all Nico knew, Jason could have confused him with Thalia, or Leo, or really anyone. He was barely conscious and completely wasted. Nothing that he said could possibly be taken seriously.

At least, that’s what Nico kept telling himself. _Don’t dwell on this, it doesn’t mean anything._ After all, hadn’t Nico decided from the start that his feelings for Jason were far more serious than Jason’s feelings for him?

With that unpleasant thought, Nico crawled into Jason’s bed, sweatpants, t-shirt, and all. But none of that was enough to stop Nico from shivering. All. Night. Long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last weekly chapter. It's been fun while it lasted. From here on out the chapters will come as I finish them, and I promise it will RARELY be on a weekly basis. My schoolwork owns my life. That being said, difficult chapters will obviously take longer. 15 is trying to be difficult with me. But I'll hopefully get this chapter up before Christmas Break. No promises though. Now would just be a really great time to follow me on tumblr at nephilimgirlbooks 
> 
> See you next time darlings!


	15. To Be, Or Not To Be (That Is The Question)

Eleven hours, three trips to the bathroom to vomit, and one fitful sleep later, Jason finally woke up, his head throbbing horribly.

A cupped, pale hand was immediately thrust in his face, as well as a newly filled glass of water. “Take these,” Nico ordered, practically jamming two pills—Tylenol, Jason presumed—into his mouth. Jason swallowed the pills obediently, chasing them down with a long swig of water. Then, hesitantly, he met Nico’s eyes. The dark haired boy kneeled beside him, his face nearly impossible to decipher.

“Thanks,” Jason mumbled awkwardly.

“How are you feeling?” Nico asked in an even voice. The voice that drove Jason crazy—and not in a good way.

How was he feeling? Fucking horrible, that’s how. His mouth tasted like vomit, and Jason imagined it would take three full cups of water to even begin to wash away the unpleasant flavor. His body had a second heartbeat coming from his head. _Thump thump thump thump._ And worst of all, he felt like shit _emotionally._ His mother was a goddamn alcoholic, what had Jason been thinking? For years he’d known in his heart that alcohol was never the answer to one’s problems and yet all it took was a single fight with Nico for him to throw that out the window? And then, of course, there was the fight itself…

“Awful. I feel fucking awful.”

“Good, then maybe you won’t do it again,” Nico replied coldly, standing up and crossing to the windows to yank open the curtains. The sudden afternoon light hurt Jason’s eyes. He groaned, rubbing his forehead, and suddenly realized he was still wearing yesterday’s jeans, shirt, and even his jacket. Had he really slept in all of his clothes? Honestly, the last thing Jason truly remembered was Leo suddenly shoving Jason into Nico’s arms. Everything after that became fuzzy.

“I think I need more painkillers,” Jason declared.

“Oh no, too many drugs in your system won’t do you any good at all. That might ease your headache, but Tylenol doesn’t make your stupid decisions disappear. You made the choice to get drunk, welcome to the consequences.”

“You’re still mad at me,” Jason sighed. Nico nodded. “But you don’t hate me?”

Nico sat down on the bed. “No,” he said, “I kind of wish I did, though. Maybe then you would stop putting yourself in stupid and dangerous situations. Drink some more water.”

Jason obeyed. He finished the entire cup and set it down beside him. “I’m sorry… about yesterday. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

“You shouldn’t have done what you did, either. But it’s done,” Nico shrugged, a melancholy look in his eyes.

“Nico, I hope you know that no amount of anger on your part is going to stop me from trying to save you. I’m sorry, but I’m not… _that_ sorry.”

The boy on the bed nodded, “I know. I figured.”

“Then where does that leave us?” Jason hesitantly asked, staring up at the dark haired boy.

“I get it, you know,” Nico acknowledged, ignoring the question. “At the time, I was so blindly furious at you for going against my wishes, but I get it now. Because what you did was stupid, and careless, and risky, but so is going out in public when you’re a wanted criminal and… calling your mother.”

Jason shot up, which really didn’t do any favors for his pounding head. “You _what_?”

“Guess I _could_ leave the room, huh?”

The blond scowled. Nico continued.

“Do you know what she said to me? That I shouldn’t call her again. That it was too dangerous. That she doesn’t _want_ me to save her.” The indifferent mask he’d worn since Jason woke up cracked into a dozen pieces.

“Oh, Nico,” Jason said, moving to sit beside his—was he still his boyfriend?—on the bed. He placed a hand on Nico’s back and nearly sighed with relief when the younger boy leaned into the touch.

“I didn’t _get_ it. I didn’t get why she wouldn’t just let me help her!” He slammed his fist down onto the mattress. Jason sat absolutely still. Then, slowly, Nico’s anger receded, and he turned to Jason.

“I guess we aren’t so different, huh?” He gave a bitter laugh. Jason pulled the smaller boy into his arms and hugged him with a crushing strength.

“Jason Grace, I swear if you vomit on me…”

Jason chuckled. “Does this mean I’m off the hook?”

Nico hugged him tighter. “Of course not,” he replied. “ _I_ didn’t consume copious amounts of alcohol in order to drown my sorrows.”

Jason pulled back and swept Nico’s hair away from his eyes, a habit of his. “Well, what can I say, we can’t all be Nico di Angelo.”

Nico, almost as if in spite of himself, grinned. “Maybe if you shrank about six inches…” Then, leaning back in, he whispered, “What am I supposed to do now, Jason? Saving my mom was my only plan…”

The selfish part of Jason thought of dozens of suggestions. _Stay with me, let me take care of you. Don’t risk your life over the woman who let her husband abuse you for years and years and—_ “Hey, no one is telling you to make a decision right now. The right path will reveal itself to you… I can’t tell you what it is. I don’t know what the best choice is here.” Jason rubbed his back in soothing circles.

“What if the right choice is leaving you?”

“Yeah, no,” Jason said immediately, practically dragging Nico on to his lap. God, it felt so good to touch him. Just last night he worried he may never get to do this again. “Whatever we do, we do together. Deal?”

Nico didn’t say anything right away.

“Deal?” Jason repeated.

“Deal,” Nico breathed. “But no more alcohol.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”

Jason leaned in to cover Nico’s lips with his own, but the younger boy put a hand up to his mouth. “Oh no, you threw up three times last night. And you smell like alcohol. Brush your teeth and take a shower and _maybe_ I’ll think about kissing you.”

A pout settled on Jason’s face. “Fair enough.”

Nico smirked.

 

…

 

Jason didn’t get his kiss once he got out of the shower. Instead, Nico sent him to the kitchen to get them both food.

“You should put something in your stomach. And I’m starving,” he explained, making Jason feel even shittier. Jason’s mother was passed out on the couch, so Nico had been trapped in Jason’s bedroom with nothing to eat for half of the day. Jason really ought to invest in a mini-fridge. Not the most romantic gift for his boyfriend, but better than letting the poor guy die of starvation. After they feasted on Eggo waffles, Jason spent the majority of the day in bed, hydrating and recovering from his alcohol escapade the previous night.

“My head,” he groaned around dinnertime.

“Tough shit,” Nico replied before lightly patting Jason’s hair, his nose staying buried in Jason’s copy of _Dorian Gray._ “You’re learning your lesson.”

“I think I would recover faster if I had someone to cuddle,” Jason prompted, shoving the book away and curling his fingers around the younger boy’s hips.

“Too bad we won’t find out,” Nico retorted, brushing off Jason’s hands and retrieving the novel.

“Come on, please?” Jason pouted. “You don’t even have to kiss me. I mean, kissing would be great but I’d happily take PG rated snuggle time.”

The Italian boy rolled his eyes. “You’re absolutely impossible,” he complained. Jason grinned and plucked the book from Nico’s hands once again, this time placing it gently on the nightstand. Nico did not protest as Jason pulled them down onto the mattress and wrapped the blankets around them. 

“Mmmm,” Jason hummed, nuzzling his head against Nico’s neck, “I feel better already.”

“Moron,” Nico muttered, relaxing against Jason’s body and closing his eyes.

They fell asleep like that, and Jason had never had a better nap.

 

…

 

When Nico awoke, the only light left in the room was the glow of the numbers on Jason’s digital clock, which declared the time to be 10:26pm. The first thing that struck him was surprise. Nico had not realized he was tired, but just moments after cuddling under the blankets with Jason, he’d drifted off into a dream land. Perhaps his Jasonless sleep the previous night had left Nico more tired than he’d realized.

The second thing Nico noticed was that his entire body felt hot, which could be attributed to the huge blond whose arms had at some point locked tightly around Nico’s figure. Damn, sleeping Jason was strong. Nico didn’t know if he could wiggle free if he tried.

He didn’t want to try.

By only the yellowish haze of the city and the red glow of the clock, Nico admired his sleeping boyfriend’s face. He looked so peaceful this way. So… gut-wrenchingly beautiful, like a Roman sculpture. But it wasn’t his face that had Nico’s heart racing. It was the way Jason clung to Nico, the way he held on to him like he couldn’t bear the thought of ever letting go.

And Nico knew with absolute certainty that he wouldn’t—he couldn’t—leave Jason behind. Not Jason, the one person who believed Nico was worth holding on to.

Nico wouldn’t run away. He wouldn’t hide. He wouldn’t abandon Jason. And he sure as hell wouldn’t go to prison.

So that left him with one choice.

Take action.

 

…

 

In his dreams, Jason was flying. The streets of Manhattan were choked with people, but Jason soared far above them, above Times Square, above the new Trade Center, and then above the Statue of Liberty. Above everything, and then New York was just a far away dot in the distance. But Jason wasn’t alone. Wrapped in his arms, clinging tightly to his neck, was Nico.

“Grace, don’t even _think_ about dropping me,” he ordered, hiding his face in the crook of Jason’s neck.

“Never,” Jason promised the boy. “Never.”

 

…

 

Jason awoke to blackness—which disoriented him at first—and was pleased to find that his headache had gone away.

“Hey, you’re awake,” Nico commented with a smirk. Jason jolted in surprise at their proximity. The boys laid chest to chest, with Nico half on top of Jason and locked tightly in his arms. Jason could feel Nico’s heart pounding through his own chest, which felt so right that he wondered why he couldn’t always feel Nico’s heartbeat.

Jason gave Nico an adoring smile. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Oh, about six hours or so,” he answered. “Just a short nap.”

“Have you been awake the entire time?”

“Just for an hour and a half… or so.” Nico traced the shape of Jason’s collarbone with his fingertips. “How do you feel? Better?”

“Yeah,” Jason said, squeezing Nico gently. He figured he probably ought to let go of Nico, since there was really no reason to be clinging to him so urgently. Jason decided against it. “I feel _all_ better. And also very kissable.”

With a sly smile, Nico wiggled up and planted a kiss on Jason’s cheek. “Come on,” he said, kissing but not _kissing_ Jason once again. “Hot chocolate. This is a hot chocolate kind of night.”

So the cocoa was prepared by Jason while Nico hovered behind him and gave criticism. “Don’t stir so fast, it’s gonna spill over the sides!”

“Nico, you are talking about the master.”

The dark haired boy popped a marshmallow in his mouth. “The master allowed us to run all out of whipped cream.”

“Don’t patronize me,” Jason chuckled, stealing a quick peck on Nico’s lips. _Success._

The boys brought their mugs to the table, and Jason was more than pleased when Nico forewent one of the chairs and sat sideways across Jason’s lap. “So,” he said softly, “Over the last few hours I’ve done a lot of thinking. About… where to go from here.”

Jason took a nervous gulp of hot chocolate, accidently scalding his throat. “Okay…” He prompted, feeling his hands quiver slightly. He knew that what Nico said had the power to change everything. If Nico’s plan involved leaving New York, what would Jason do?

“And, well, I realized that maybe escape isn’t the answer. This whole time I’ve thought that I’d have to abandon everything… to let go of _you_ to save my mother, but I know now that I can’t do that. Even when you totally _piss me off,_ I can’t let you go anymore than I can her,” he squeezed Jason’s hand. “And I realized that—that I can’t run from my problems forever. Gotta stand and fight eventually, right? For my mom, for Bianca, for us. So I’m not going to let my father get away with this. I’m going to see him behind bars, and he’s finally going to pay for what he did. _I’m_ going to stop him.”

“We,” Jason corrected, feeling his heart lift slightly. “We are going to stop him. Together.”

Nico almost smiled, “Yeah, together.”

“We’re insane,” Jason sighed.

“We’re ridiculous optimistic fools,” Nico agreed.

“We have a lot of work to do.”

“We’ll probably end up dead and arrested.”

Jason grabbed Nico by the ears and kissed him, letting out all of the fear and insecurity and angst of the last two days and just basking in the feeling of Nico’s lips against his own.

And Nico didn’t push him back this time. He threw his arms around Jason’s neck and kissed him with surprising energy.

When they finally tore away for air, Jason’s heart felt ready to burst from his chest. “God, Nico,” he gasped, “I—” _I’m crazy in love with you._

“You—?”

“I want to clear your name so badly. I’ll do everything I can.” He wanted to tell him, he did. But this wasn’t the time. He and Nico had _just_ made up, and Jason wasn’t sure Nico was ready to hear it yet. The last thing the blond wanted was another argument.

_Soon,_ he promised himself.

Nico pressed his lips to Jason’s again, still wet from the previous kiss and tasting of hot chocolate.

_Really soon._

Jason thought he had never loved Nico more than in that moment—chocolate on their lips, bodies pressed close, and hope in their hearts,

Maybe there was a happy ending for them after all.

 

…

 

The boys rinsed their mugs and returned to the bedroom. As they shut the door behind them, apprehension curled in Nico’s stomach. He knew he’d made the right decision, but that didn’t erase the risk involved. By choosing to prove his innocence, Nico would only be putting Jason in more danger, and hadn’t that been the cause of their fight in the first place?

And yet, there was a comfort that came with knowing Nico wouldn’t have to do all of this alone. He had Jason, and Jason just made everything feel less… impossible.

Jason, who had smiled at him the whole time they put away the hot chocolate ingredients, who had held Nico’s hand as they walked through the hall, who leaned down and recaptured Nico’s lips once the door was closed, gently pressing Nico against it. “You know,” he said, bringing his lips to Nico’s neck, “I’m not at all tired.”

“That sounds like a personal problem,” Nico teased, twisting his fingers into the blond boy’s hair.

Jason pressed Nico harder against the door, this time with his own body, allowing Nico to feel the newly hardened bulge in his pants. “I could really use your help,” he whispered, rubbing their bodies together.

Nico ignored his own tightening pants. “I don’t know, maybe _I’m_ tired,” he said, flashing a wicked smile. Ridiculously turned on? Yeah, maybe just a little. Nico and Jason hadn’t done anything but kiss since the night Thalia came over.

“By all means then, go to sleep,” Jason said, unlocking Nico’s hands from his hair and stepping back.

“Fine,” Nico replied, removing himself from the door and brushing past the blond.

A hand closed suddenly around his wrist and Nico was pulled right back, falling into Jason’s body. Their lips crashed together. _I’m not having sex with him,_ Nico quickly promised himself, not because he actually thought he would, but reminders never hurt. The only thing more complicated than being in love was having sex and being in love.

“You’re not tired,” Jason mumbled, slipping his hands under Nico’s shirt to grip at his bare hips.

“Hmm, what tipped you off?” Nico asked, tugging the blond’s shirt up and over his head.

Why oh why did Jason have to be so damn hot? Talk about muscles for days…

Jason slipped his hands down, under the waistband of Nico’s shorts. “Just a hunch,” he declared, kissing the tip of the younger boy’s nose. Groping Nico’s ass and giving silly face kisses at the same time, Nico mused, what a Jason Grace thing to do.

He tossed Jason’s shirt across the room, using his body to nudge the older boy in the direction of the bed. A surprised sound escaped Jason’s lips when Nico unexpectedly pushed him down onto the mattress.

“ _Someone_ is assertive tonight.”

Nico smiled cheekily and lowered himself onto his boyfriend. “Who? Me?” He teased, appraising Jason’s bare chest with his hands. A pleased groan sounded from the blond, filling Nico with confidence. Nico could be seductive, too. Nico could have power, _too._

He began to tug on Jason’s pajama pants.

“Hey,” Jason protested, softly knocking Nico’s hand away. “You’re still wearing clothing. If I’m getting naked, it’s only fair that you do, too. What was it you said last week, ‘it’s civil rights or something?’”

Nico reached over his shoulders and tugged his own shirt up over his head. “There’s your damn civil rights,” he breathed, lowering his lips to Jason’s and kissing him deeply. Normally, this position would give Nico anxiety. He didn’t like showing his bare skin, and he especially didn’t like leaving it so exposed and accessible. Normally, Nico would have happily let Jason press him into the mattress. Or a door. Or a couch. Anything that hid his scarred back from the world. From Jason.

But what the hell did Nico have to hide from Jason Grace?

“Uh, you can look at them—my scars—if you still want to,” Nico said, sitting on Jason’s hips and turning his body so Jason could see.

Wordlessly, Jason sat up and examined Nico’s back. The years of violence commemorated on his skin, a mixture of flat and raised, months old and years old. None too big, or too hideous, but all of them uniting to make Nico’s back resemble a cat’s scratching post.

Nico’s body tensed with surprise when a soft warmth touched his upper back, just east of his left shoulder blade. Jason’s lips. Then another kiss, slightly lower. “Your skin has constellations on it,” Jason declared with another kiss, this one near his side. “They don’t bother me, really.” A kiss. “You’re still my beautiful boyfriend Nico.”

The smaller boy spun his body so his face was back to Jason and kissed him as hard as he could. _All the guys in the world and I happen to fall for the most amazing one._

Jason brought out a bold side of Nico he’d never realized existed. Maybe, working together, the two boys really _could_ catch Hades and live to tell the tale. Why not, right? Stranger things had happened.

But actually, Nico didn’t want to think about his father or his mother or his criminal record any more tonight. Tomorrow the real work could begin. Tonight, Nico just wanted to be a sixteen year old.

A really, really, ridiculously horny sixteen year old.

A smirk passed over Nico’s lips and he broke the kiss, climbing off of Jason altogether. “Come back,” the blond groaned, his hips bucking up into the air almost unintentionally. Nico chuckled as his knees hit the floor. Jason gave him a curious look as Nico grabbed hold of the blond boy’s pajama pants and tugged down, exposing strong legs and the softer, paler skin of Jason’s upper thighs, ending at a pair of black boxer briefs.

Ignoring the nerves fluttering in his stomach, Nico leaned in and pressed a kiss to the inside of Jason’s thigh, not even an inch from the bottom of the briefs. He moved up more, nervously passing the underwear all together and stopping at the skin just south of Jason’s belly button. The blond moaned in response, placing his hand on the back of Nico’s head. “What are you doing down there?” He groaned.

Nico laughed again—apparently that was a common thing for him now—and swiped his tongue over Jason’s skin. On any other night, Nico never would have been able to do this. Too self conscious, too embarrassed, too inexperienced, but tonight was a night of change. Tonight Nico would not be afraid of anything, especially not Jason Grace’s body. 

“Don’t worry about what I’m doing,” he said, sucking down on Jason’s hip, taking great enjoyment in the breathy gasp that escaped Jason’s lips. He let his mouth drag back to the center of the boy’s torso, stopping right above Jason’s scarcely contained erection. Jason, meanwhile, seemed to be debating whether or not he should use his grip on Nico’s hair to lead the younger boy where he really wanted him to go. Nico knocked his hand away. Jason didn’t get to be in control yet. “Lay back on the bed,” he requested. “The floor’s too hard.”

Jason scooted back so quickly it was almost comedic. Nico climbed on top of him, switching back to lip kisses. Horniness aside, messing with Jason was pretty entertaining.—although, Nico had realized that weeks ago. Jason kissed back eagerly, but Nico could sense what he really wanted.

And Nico had every intention of giving it to him.

“Are you going to take your shorts off?” Jason asked, sneaking his fingers down the back of Nico’s bottoms and underwear in one sly move. Nico bit his lip, holding on to whatever shred of control he had.

“I haven’t decided yet,” he shared, placing open-mouthed kisses across Jason’s chest.

Jason opened his mouth, as if to complain, and ended up moaning loudly as Nico palmed the former’s dick through his underwear. “Shit,” he cursed.

Nico continued the friction there, rubbing but making no attempt to go any further, all the while getting off on the way Jason moaned his name.

Taking pity on the clearly turned-on blond, Nico moved his kisses lower, going all the way down Jason’s chest and stomach with his lips. And this time, when he ended up at the boxer-briefs he kissed right over those as well, his lips replacing his hand to plant semi-wet kisses on Jason’s thinly covered dick.

“Oh fuck,” Jason choked, lifting his hips desperately. And Nico hadn’t even got to the best part yet…

“Can I take these off?” He asked, worried that his confidence would betray him if he waited any longer.

“Are you sure?” Jason questioned, probably not trying to sound as eager as he really was.

Nico took that as a yes, and answered Jason’s inquiry by yanking the underwear until they were below the older boy’s knees.

In this whole equation of boldness and blowjobs, Nico had forgotten that Jason was a good deal bigger than he was.

A great deal bigger, actually.

But well, it’s not like he had to get it all in his mouth on the first try or anything, right? Nico was a far cry from a porn star.

Experimentally, he took hold of Jason’s dick and placed a soft kiss on the head. _It’s just skin, normal skin,_ he reminded himself. _Just a dick, you have one too._

Steeling his nerves, Nico freed his tongue from his mouth and swept his tongue across the head, then licked a strip all the way down to the base, where he ran into his own hand.

“Fuck,” Jason hissed. “Do that again.”

Stubborn teenager that he was, Nico pulled back a bit, smirking up at the flustered older boy. “Say please,” he requested.

“For the love of all that is holy _please_ do that again.”

Nico complied, licking back up to the head and this time putting his whole mouth around it. On instinct, Jason thrust upward, forcing Nico to put his hands on the boys hips. Yes, he knew that Jason was much stronger than him, but at least this way he felt slightly more in control. Choking on Jason’s dick would definitely not be sexy. “Someone’s eager,” he noted, drawing back to take a breath. Jason smiled, his face flushed red from either desire or embarrassment, or likely both.

Nico wrapped his mouth around Jason’s hardness once more, this time taking it in further. He may have had only a limited knowledge of what he was doing, but Jason’s loud groans suggested that it was at least enjoyable for him.

Acting off of instinct and a fair amount of research—aka porn and several online forums—Nico did what he’d secretly been thinking about all week. He sucked Jason off, and holy shit did it feel good.

Yes, technically it probably felt a lot better for Jason, but just knowing the effect he was having on the gorgeous, brave Jason Grace made Nico feel like a superhero. A gay, blowjob giving superhero, but a superhero all the same.

Waking up that morning, he’d never imagined that his night would end here.

But he was pretty satisfied with this turn of events.

 

…

 

It took no time at all for Jason feel like he was going to blow. Maybe Nico was new to giving head, but Jason was new to getting it and he felt entirely overwhelmed by the pleasure of it all. If this was Nico without practice, he couldn’t image how good the younger boy would be next time. His hand and lips and tongue worked in sinful harmony, pushing Jason closer and closer to the edge. And now here he was, all of two minutes into his first blowjob, ready to completely lose it. It was like Nico had finally discovered his seductive powers, and he sure as hell wasn’t afraid to use them.

Jason’s dick hit the back of the younger boy’s throat and he knew without a doubt that he was a goner. “Nico,” he gasped, “I’m—I’m gonna—”

Nico looked up at him with an almost naughty look in his eyes, letting up some but not taking Jason out completely. _Go for it,_ he seemed to say. The next thing Jason knew he was coming in Nico’s mouth. Coming. In Nico di Angelo’s mouth. _What is life right now?_

To Jason’s further surprise, the dark haired boy swallowed a good portion of it, letting the last bit spill out down his chin.

And it was easily the hottest thing Jason had ever seen.

“Holy shit, Nico,” he panted.

“That was more than I thought it would be,” Nico chuckled, wiping the whitish substance from his face with the back of his hand. Not the most effective strategy. Jason almost got hard all over again just watching. He didn’t know if it was possible to get hard again so quickly. But fuck, if Nico kept _that_ up…

“How did you even? Where did you? Are you sure you haven’t done that before?” Jason gasped.

Nico licked his lips, looking quite pleased with himself. “Well, let’s just say I added a couple of _interesting_ things to your web history.”

“I fucking love the internet.”

He still could barely process the last few minutes. Nico hadn’t pulled away, he’d _willingly_ swallowed Jason’s come. And now he was joking about it and wiping it off of his chin and Jason realized that his boyfriend may actually be trying to kill him.

Said boyfriend decided to take off his shorts and use them to wipe his face. Oh yeah, of course, Nico had driven Jason absolutely crazy without even needing to remove his bottoms.

Jason put his hands on Nico’s face, rushing in to kiss him senseless. The latter held up a finger to stop the blond’s lips. “You’re really about to kiss me after you just came in my mouth?”

The thought hadn’t even occurred to him. All Jason could think about was how desperately he needed his lips on Nico’s.

“Yeah, I was planning on it,” he shrugged.

“Okay, that’s _really_ hot,” Nico mused, closing the gap between their mouths.

They kissed sloppily, grabbing at each other with an uncontrollable hunger. Jason could taste himself on Nico’s lips and Nico was right, it was pretty hot, if not a little strange.

But then Jason remembered that one of them hadn’t finished yet.“Your turn,” he announced, tugging on Nico’s underwear.

Nico’s eyes widened with panic. “Oh no. I’m already close. The second you touch me I’ll be done, it would literally be a three second blowjob.”

“Well then what do you want?” Jason mumbled into the other boy’s ear.

“Just touch me,” Nico panted, guiding Jason’s hand down the front of his boxer-briefs.  

Jason removed the underwear altogether, revealing the other boy’s still-erect penis. Jason wanted to return the favor, but there was always next time. And Jason would make sure that next time was very, _very_ soon. He went back to locking lips with Nico, wrapping his fingers around his dick and jerking the boy to completion, which was just as quick as the Italian had warned. Sticky come coated the top of Jason’s hand. However, rather than go straight for something to wipe it on like regular, Jason raised one of the come-covered fingers to his mouth and licked it. Nico moaned loudly.

_That’s payback, you little fox._

 

…

 

Sunday morning—okay, technically afternoon—Jason woke up in only his underwear, his sleeping boyfriend at his side in a similar state of undress. “Wake up, gorgeous,” he cooed, kissing Nico’s neck. He figured he should probably give the poor boy’s neck a break—after they got each other off, Jason and Nico had made out until so early in the morning that they could hear Jason’s mother as she stumbled back into the apartment, and Nico’s neck and collarbone were covered in hickeys as a result of this—but he just couldn’t help himself.

The dark haired boy groaned in response, except this one was out of annoyance, not pleasure as it had been the previous night. “Jaaaason,” he complained, his voice muffled by a pillow. “It’s too early.”

“It’s after twelve!” Jason replied, brushing his nose over the freshly kissed skin. “Wake up and help me with the homework I was supposed to be working on all week!”

“No.”

“Wake up and we can watch movies in bed?”

“No.”

“I’ll kiss you until you wake up.”

The dark haired boy peaked up from his pillow, half of a smile showing. “Promise?”

They had a fairly eventful Sunday afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this wait actually wasn’t as long as I feared it would be. Thanks to painteddread/demon-angel-325 for the motivation! A new That One Time chapter is always good incentive to get my ass in gear. Diane, did you get the title reference? Hamlet? Because I think I’m pretty fucking clever, okay? Also, in regards to this chapter and future to come: I’d like to say that while I do write smut, I typically avoid writing full-fledged and extremely pornographic stuff. My characters don’t mind telling you about their sex lives, but they’re not always going to give a play-by-play of every second of whatever sexual act is taking place. Also, I don’t typically use the word cock. It feels very impersonal gives me the impression of just fucking some random person, which is not Jason and Nico at all. So yeah. Okay, I’m exhausted… Let me know what you think of this chapter! P.S. my birthday is Wednesday! So there’s that.


	16. One Way Or Another (I'm Gonna Getcha Getcha Getcha Getcha)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God, these chapter titles bring me so much joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it’s a little late, but Merry Christmas! Please accept this belated gift and thank you for your continued support. This chapter was trickier to write but I ended up satisfied with what I have and hope you’ll like it. I should edit at 6:30 in the morning more often I guess. Also, introducing some important characters in this chapter! Okay, you may read now.

As fun as rolling around in the sheets with Nico was, by dinnertime on Sunday Jason and Nico had to get to business. Business turned out to be Jason blatantly ignoring his homework while talking with Nico over cartons of Chinese food in bed.

“So basically,” Nico said, pausing to scoop some rice into his mouth. “We’ve just got to get the cops to stop suspecting me, start investigating my father, and actually find evidence that proves his guilt. Shouldn’t be too hard, right?”

Jason gently kicked the younger boy with his foot. “Come on, Nico. Be serious. We need a game plan.”

The younger of the two pondered over this statement.“Then, step one would be to get as much incriminating evidence against my father as possible. I mean, he’s abusive for one, and then… his job…” Nico chewed his lip and stopped talking, sending Jason’s mind back in time to last month, the day Nico had first gone out and walked to his apartment. God, it seemed like forever ago. His and Nico’s argument, the first time Jason had cooked them dinner, and then that one peculiar conversation.

“You said he’s in sales,” the blond recalled, “but he won’t actually tell you what he sells. You think it’s—”

“Illegal? Probably. Dad always said it was the ‘family business’ whatever that could be. Drugs, weapons, women, I wouldn’t put anything past him.” He shuddered, “But I couldn’t do anything back then and I can’t now.”

Jason knew that Nico had a point, to an extent at least. How were two teenagers with the internet as their only ally going to catch this monster? “If we could just find out more about his job, that would be a start. If it’s illegal, we—I—could report it to the police. Let’s call that step one.”

Nico shook his head. “It wouldn’t make sense. What would your motive be for telling them that? And if they don’t look into it all you do is look suspicious.”

Jason violently forked a slice of Mongolian beef, imagining that it was Hades’ head. “Come on, Nico. It’s a risk we just have to take. Look, you can try and do internet research, find what you can. It’s better than nothing.” Jason knew that Nico didn’t want him to do anything too risky, and he could live with that, if Nico didn’t think _everything_ was too risky. Still, it made Jason all warm inside to know that Nico worried about him.

“And what do _you_ do?” Nico asked, inclining an eyebrow. “While I’m doing all of this internet research, what do you think you’ll be doing?”

Jason figured that threatening Hades at gunpoint wasn’t a realistic option, so he went with plan B. “If it’s a family business, then maybe there’s someone I can talk to.”

Nico stiffened. “My mother isn’t going to tell you a thing, Jay, even if you could get her outside. My father must be watching her like a hawk.” The look in his eyes broke Jason’s heart into a million pieces. Forget gunpoint, Jason wanted to nail Hades to a wall one fucking nail at a time until every square inch of that bastard was pierced and bleeding. These violent thoughts probably should have frightened Jason.

They didn’t.

But he would worry about getting revenge on Hades di Angelo later. Saving Nico, that was the real goal.

“Not Maria,” Jason corrected. “Hazel Levesque, you said she’s your second cousin on your dad’s side?”

“Our fathers are cousins,” Nico confirmed, eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

“And his cousin, your great uncle, is he in the same business?”

“My father and Pluto both worked for my grandfather, yeah… but he’ll never tell you anything Jason. Be realistic.”

This was the part of Jason’s shaky half-plan he’d been worrying over all day, mainly because it involved a fifteen year old girl, but Jason couldn’t afford not to try. “He won’t tell me anything, but… if I can get into their apartment—your great uncle’s—maybe I’ll be able to get some information. He must have a computer or an office or something.”

The younger boy didn’t look convinced. “You’re going to break in to my uncle’s apartment?”

“No. Hazel is going to invite me over.”

Nico paused, narrowing his eyes at Jason. The older boy pursed his lips. Nico’s glare was like a surgeon’s scalpel cutting deep into Jason’s skin. Jason hated that look. “Hazel’s just a girl. She shouldn’t be involved in this.”

“She’s barely younger than you, Nico. And she doesn’t have to do anything bad. Just hear me out. I know her, we’re in drawing together. If I can get closer to her, be her friend, then maybe I could get into that apartment. Look, I don’t like the idea any more than you do. I don’t want to exploit a sweet girl like Hazel, but I also don’t want any more harm to come to you or your mother.” He reached across the various takeout boxes and took Nico’s hand. “It’s this or trying Hades again. I have no other ideas.”

Nico’s eyes drifted to the window. His shoulders slumped. “Just… don’t tell her anything. Hazel’s innocent. Keep her that way.”

Jason squeezed his hand. “I promise.”

“Even proving my father is in shady business wouldn’t remove suspicion from me. My fingerprints are on the knife,” Nico sighed. “We need more to bring to the table or the cops will never even consider it.”

Jason nodded. “Tell me what to do. I’ll do it.” Another glare from Nico. “You know, as long as it doesn’t stupidly endanger my life…” he amended.

“Well, I mean, I guess you’d need people willing to testify against my father. Easier said than done. I don’t exactly have a lot of people in my corner.”

Unfortunately, that wasn’t untrue. Before his name became everyone’s favorite topic, Nico hadn’t exactly been a poster child for popularity. No one but Bianca really knew him. No one but Bianca really cared. No one but Bianca would have believed Nico in this situation.

Except…

“Percy.” Jason realized, almost triumphant.

Nico choked on his Lo Mein. “Excuse me?” He asked, his eyes widening to inky pools of panic on his face.

Jason raised an eyebrow at the boy. “I mean, he was friends with Bianca, right? And I know he was your friend too. Did he know anything about… you know…”

Nico recomposed his features quickly, which did nothing to assuage the blond’s puzzlement. _Definite story there_ , he thought. “If Percy,” Nico paused on the name for a moment, “Knows anything about what my dad was really like, I couldn’t tell you. Uh, that is to say, if he knows anything, Bianca would have told him. Not me. I—I don’t know. We really didn’t talk much.”

It didn’t hit Jason until he noticed Nico’s reddening face. At some point, for some time, to some extent, Nico di Angelo had _liked_ Percy Jackson, or at least innocently crushed on him.

Jason decided not to comment. Nico clearly didn’t feel like talking about it, and Jason wasn’t about to be that asshole who got jealous of past crushes. Nico was _his_ boyfriend, after all, not Percy’s.

That was all that really mattered.

“So we’ll consider him a possibility,” Jason decided, sparing Nico any more embarrassment. “Anyone else?”

Nico placed his food on the nightstand. “My mother has a friend who lives in the building across the street. They’ve known each other for like, twenty years. She’s never liked my father.”

“What’s her name?” Jason asked, rising from the bed and crossing to his desk for a pencil and notebook.

“Hestia Rosso, she’s a single woman who moved here from Greece as a child. My mother, as a born Italian, found she had a lot in common with her. However, my father was born in America which made him a “fake Italian” to Hestia. She always thought my mother shouldn’t have married him. A smart woman.”

“But then you would have never been born,” Jason frowned.

“Exactly.”

It was Jason’s turn to glower at his boyfriend. Nico ignored it.

“The point is, if anyone’s going to talk your ear off about any rotten thing my father has ever done for hours on end, it’ll be her.”

Jason scrawled down the name. Then, after a moment, he said the one name that had been lingering in the back of his mind the entire time. “Luke?”

“No,” Nico said immediately. “Luke hates me. He has no reason in the world to help me after what I did to him.”

“But—”

“I said no, Jason,” Nico repeated, raising his voice the small amount he was willing to risk without tipping off Jason’s mother.

“Okay,” Jason nodded. “No Luke.” He looked down at the page with Hestia’s name on it and tore it from the notebook. He’d definitely use the resources he had. Hestia, Percy, Hazel, it was a start, at least. When Jason turned back to Nico, the younger boy was tenderly rubbing the left side of his face, from his eye down to his jaw.

And Jason couldn’t help but wonder if Nico was picturing another face, forever marred by the blade of a knife.

And he wondered if maybe Luke wasn’t the only one who came out of that day with scars.

 

…

 

Nico was having an especially awful Monday morning. After nine days of break, the idea of an entire school day spent alone did not appeal to Nico in the slightest. He didn’t know how much longer he could live predominantly within the four walls of Jason’s bedroom before losing whatever shred of sanity he had left. And when Jason left, Nico would be stuck with only his own dark thoughts for company.

Today would be a good day. Today Nico and Jason would take action against the man who had ruined Nico’s name.

Today would be a bad day. Today Hazel would get pulled into the melee. Today Jason would further risk himself once again for Nico. Today his mother would remain under the roof of a murderer, and she would be in danger.

Today Nico would worry over these things for eight hours all alone.

“I’ll be home before four,” Jason promised, kissing Nico’s temple.

“Kiss me like you mean it,” he grumbled, stretching onto the tips of his toes and pressing their lips together. For a few seconds, Jason kissed him back, his hands gripping tightly at Nico’s hips. Then the older boy released him, and Nico returned to his original stance.

“Good luck with your research,” Jason whispered.

“Good luck not dying,” Nico retorted, hoping for dark humor. Jason frowned.

“Remember, confidence, Nico. If we don’t believe we have a chance, then we’ve already failed.”

Nico wondered which book Jason had pulled _that_ line out of, but allowed himself to smile. “And by that I mean, kick some ass, you big tough book nerd.”

“That’s better,” Jason allowed, stealing one last quick kiss from the shorter boy before hurrying out the door.

Nico sighed before dragging himself over to Jason’s desk and starting up the laptop. He had serious work to do.

 

…

Every morning, rain or shine, Jason could count on the fact that Leo would be waiting for him just outside the front doors of his building. They’d walked to school together since they were thirteen, from the insufferable heat of late August, through the frigid winter, and until the equally insufferable heat of late May turned to June and summer officially began.

It was a tradition, a major staple of their friendship, a near sacred activity. But this morning was different than all the rest.

Because today, Leo wasn’t alone.

“Piper?” Jason asked, eyebrows raised. “What are you doing here? Where’s Hedge?” Gleeson Hedge, Piper’s driver, was a short and balding middle-aged man who specialized in keeping Tristan McLean’s precious baby safe from the dangers of a New York sidewalk, especially in the mornings.

His absence made Jason feel nervous.

Something was weird about Piper’s presence this morning.

“Hedge dropped me off here. I figured we could all walk to school together. You know, best friends that we are,” Piper said, sounding less than friendly.

Leo shot Jason a look that could only be interpreted as _RUN!_ Jason swallowed.

“Am I missing something?” He asked, looking between his two best friends.

“How about we walk and talk,” Piper suggested, except Jason felt that it was the opposite of optional. As they started down the sidewalk, Jason’s phone buzzed in his pocket. A text from Leo:

_She just showed up like two minutes before you came down and she didn’t even really say anything to me. Tread carefully._

Jason quickly slipped his phone back into his jeans. Why was Piper acting like she was on the verge of a premenstrual fit? Had Jason done something to tick her off? Hell, he hadn’t even talked to her since—

_The party._

“Pipes—”

“You’re dating someone,” Piper said in a matter-of-fact tone. Jason tried to stay calm. If he reacted too strongly, Piper would pick up on it in a heartbeat.

“What are you—?” He forced a laugh. “Oh, you mean at the party? Piper, I was wasted. _Everyone_ was my boyfriend. I think I tried to seduce Leo in the taxi.”

“You’re really not my type, Jase,” Leo added with a smirk, though Jason could sense his tension.

“Cut the crap, Jason. You think that I’m stupid or something? Something has been up with you for _weeks_ and then Friday you show up at my apartment looking completely wrecked, and _then_ you get shitfaced and start going on about how you couldn’t go home because ‘he’ was mad at you. _Then_ you and Leo get into a taxi and completely ditch me and Mitchell. Something is going on here and you aren’t telling me. And you,” she jabbed a finger at Leo, “are in on it. So would one of you please care to explain what you’re not telling me and why?”

“It’s nothing, really,” Jason insisted. Piper may have known he was lying, but she didn’t know the truth, and that was what mattered. Jason didn’t want to lose Piper as a friend, but he also wouldn’t endanger her life to keep her around.

“Nothing you want to tell _me_. You trust Leo more than me, is that it?”

“Pipes,” Leo interrupted, “You’re our best friend. You know that.”

“Best friends tell each other things. Why is Jason dating someone some dark secret? You expect me to be jealous or something? Because that is completely ridic—”

“I’m not dating anyone, and if I was it wouldn’t be some dark secret, either. You can’t hold people to what they say and do while they’re drunk, Piper.”

Piper flung her hands up in the air. “And why, Captain Sobriety, did you even _get_ drunk? What is your explanation for that?”

“Getting wasted with hot college guys was more fun than having your cousin try to get in my pants, sue me.”Piper narrowed her eyes at Jason. He tried to ignore it. If he had to push Piper away, then he would do it, no matter how much it hurt him.

“You know what, fine. Don’t tell me. But don’t expect me to stand around and act like I don’t know that something is going on. When you feel like being honest, you know where to find me.”

And before Jason or Leo could say another word, their female friend, turned and walked right back down to the last street corner, pulling out her cell phone as she went.

Leo let out a deep breath. Jason rubbed his temples. “That was bad,” the Latino boy declared.

“I’m sorry you got dragged into this, Leo,” the blond replied, his eyes still on Piper’s retreating form. “She’s pretty furious with us.”

“Hey man, don’t sweat it. Yeah, Piper’s plenty mad, and I wish I could be there for her, but you need me _way_ more than she does these days. And if I have to be on a side of this fight, I’m glad it’s yours.”

Even though he still felt terrible, Jason smiled. Leo may have been an idiot, but he was Jason’s idiot. Nothing seemed to get him down or swerve his loyalty for even a second. All in all, Jason was grateful to have him as a best friend.

 

…

 

In English, Piper did not sit in her usual seat beside Jason. In fact, she didn’t even spare a glance his way as she claimed a seat all the way in the front of the classroom, beside Leo’s longtime crush, Calypso. About fifteen minutes into class, Calypso turned and shot Jason one of the dirtiest looks he’d ever seen. Even Rachel Dare—the wild-haired redhead who sat in front of Jason—took notice of it.

“What’d you do to Calypso?” She asked as the bell rang, signaling the end of third period.

“Nothing, I think she was glaring at Octavian behind me,” Jason lied, hurrying off to mythology, where he spent most of the period staring curiously at Percy Jackson.

 _How much do you know?_ He wondered.

Lunch, unsurprisingly, was just Jason and Leo. Piper sat with Calypso and her group of friends. Her back was to Jason, so he couldn’t tell if she was enjoying herself or not.

“So,” Leo said, trying to steer Jason’s attention away from the table of girls, “I’m assuming you and your boy toy worked things out?”

Jason threw a curly fry at him. “He’s not my ‘boy toy’ you know. He’s my _boyfriend._ ”

“Okay, then did you work things out with Dark and Moody?” The smaller boy corrected with a smirk. “I hope you didn’t shower him with the whole ‘I love you’ business the second I left.

“No, of course not,” Jason replied immediately, as if Leo’s question was completely ridiculous. Except, if it was so ridiculous than sober Jason wouldn’t have accidently almost told Nico he loved him just two nights ago.

“Not that you remember, at least.”

Jason opened his mouth to protest when suddenly a shadow passed over Jason’s pizza slice. He looked up right into the burning eyes of Calypso.

“What did you to do to piss Piper off?” She demanded, crossing her arms over her chest. A small grin pulled at Leo’s lips. With her caramel hair and creamy skin, Jason had to admit she _was_ pretty, if not a little terrifying.

“I didn’t do anything, Sunshine,” Leo said with a wink. “How about you sit down and we can talk about it?”

“Pass,” Calypso said, sparing only a second to roll her eyes at him.

“It’s my fault,” Jason sighed. “She thinks I’m keeping things from her.”

“Well, are you?” She asked, inclining an eyebrow at the blond.

“If I couldn’t talk to her about it, then why would I talk to you? It’s not that I don’t trust Piper this is just complicated, okay? I’d explain it to her if I could.”

Calypso pursed her lips, as if thinking over his statement. “Fine, whatever’s going on certainly isn’t my business. But I happen to be Piper’s friend, and I _thought_ you two were as well. Act like it.” She stormed off.

“God, I love that woman,” Leo said. “You think she wants me?”

It was Jason’s turn to roll his eyes. This was going to be a _long_ week.

 

…

 

While there was no class that Jason would consider his least favorite, one certainly stood out as the most enjoyable—Advanced Drawing, his last class of the day. If reading was Jason’s therapy, than drawing was his yoga.

Ever since Nico came into his life, Jason hadn’t exactly had much time to sit around and sketch like he used to. But for fifty minutes a day five days a week, Jason could enjoy this time with his sketchbook and a couple pencils.

Perhaps his favorite thing about the class was the people. With few exceptions, it was made up of only upperclassmen, and generally not the type that annoyed Jason, either. Okay, well he had to admit that Rachel Dare could get a little too chatty for his taste, but other than the solid four months where she was convinced that she was psychic—for predicting the comeback of crop tops or something, Jason didn’t know or care—she wasn’t so bad.

But it was another student, one of the class’s only sophomores, that captured Jason’s attention as he walked into the classroom. Hazel Levesque, sitting in the corner by the windows, was already hard at work on whatever she was drawing. Looking at her, Jason could hardly believe that _she_ was related to Nico. While Nico was a mix of pale and darkness, like the night, Hazel resembled a summer’s day, with warm brown skin and curly golden brown hair.

Normally, Jason chose to keep to himself during this particular class, and if there was any sort of partner project he would work with Reyna Arellano, a fellow senior who didn’t gossip or pry into anyone’s personal business. Today, however, Jason had more important things than art to worry about. Trying to appear casual, he crossed to the windows and plopped down his things a seat away from Hazel. If he wanted to get into Hazel’s house, he’d need to get to know her first.

“That’s a cool horse,” he commented, pulling his sketchbook from his backpack.

Hazel Levesque glanced up at him briefly before returning to her work. “Thanks.”

“Is it based off of like, a particular horse? Or just from your mind?”

_Wow, Jason. What a great conversation starter._

“My mind,” Hazel answered. “I’ll probably color this one after.”

“Cool,” Jason nodded. What was he supposed to say now? There was a reason Jason only had two close friends, he sucked at making conversation with people.

Maybe this whole thing hadn’t been thought out so well.

Luckily, the teacher chose that time to walk in. Her name was Iris, and she insisted that all of her students call her that. Apparently being twenty-seven meant she was too young for teenagers to call her Miss, or something.

Basically, she was a complete hippie. Jason loved her.

“Okay, guys, today we’re starting our unit on portraits.” A resounding groan echoed through the class. “I know, I know,” Iris said, holding up her hands, “you all probably know how to do portraits, but it never hurts to practice. So today, split into the partners. For the first half of class, one of you will sketch your partner, and then for the second half, switch. Got it?”

Jason smiled. Heaven had given him a perfect opportunity. “Hey Hazel, wanna be my partner? I think I’d like drawing your hair.”

She gave him a weird look, and Jason mentally slapped himself. God, what a loser thing to say.

“Is Reyna sick or something?” She scanned the room in confusion.

“No. I just thought it’d be fun to change it up a bit.”

“Okay,” Hazel said hesitantly. “But if you’re trying to _flirt_ with me or something, I have a boyfriend.”

Jason smirked. _What a coincidence, me too._

“I’m gay,” he told her instead.

The younger girl dropped her pencil. “Oh, okay then. I didn’t know that.”

Even though Jason never attempted to hide his sexuality, he also wasn’t the type to advertise it to everyone he met. In fact, most people had no idea, his mother included. Still, Jason didn’t see how it was _that_ hard to figure out. He’d spent the entirety of sophomore year checking out the exchange student Ganymede’s ass.

“Don’t worry about it. So, you want to draw first or should I?”

“You can start,” Hazel told him.

Jason opened his sketchbook to its next clean page and started drawing the general shape of Hazel’s face. “So,” he asked, “You like horses a lot, huh?”

“They’re my favorite animal. When I was a kid my parents took me on one of those horse carriages through central park and I cried the whole time because I thought it was cruel to make the horses pull so many people.”

Jason chuckled. “Yeah, I hate those things too.”

“One day I’m going to stop all horse carriages in New York. And then I’m going to move out of the city and buy a farm and have a bunch of horses.”

Jason’s heart hurt. She was so sweet, so innocent… Too innocent to be from the family that she was. Jason felt like an asshole. He should have made friends with Hazel a long time ago, because she was a cool person, not because he needed something from her. “I think that sounds like a great plan.”

“What about you? What are your plans?”

Saving Nico. That was his plan, first and foremost. But then, after a moment of thought, he suddenly remembered what his goals had been before meeting Nico di Angelo. California, Stanford, Thalia… he still wanted those things, God, did he ever. But could he possibly enjoy them without Nico by his side?

“I want to go to Stanford. Actually,” he recalled, “I should be getting my letter from them any day now.”

“Stanford,” Hazel exclaimed, “Wow. And here I am, making a C in geometry.”

Jason almost stabbed his pencil through the paper as an idea hit him. A golden opportunity. “You know, I made a 99 in Geometry. I bet I could help you get your grade up by the end of the year.”

Hazel scrunched up her face in a look of consideration that was actually quite cute. It reminded Jason of the way Nico looked sometimes when he was pondering over something.

“I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

Then they had to stop talking so Jason could finish the more important details of her face. By the time his allotted twenty or so minutes of drawing was up, he had a drawing that vaguely resembled Hazel. Vaguely. Drawing people wasn’t really Jason’s specialty. Hazel smiled anyway and assured him he did a great job.

When it was Hazel’s turn to draw Jason, she didn’t give him much opportunity to talk. “When you talk it changes your face, just stay still,” she instructed.

When the final bell rang, Jason told Hazel to get back to him about the tutoring and then hurried out of the classroom.

He had a boyfriend to get home to, after all.

 

…

 

“So, after going through about nine pages of stuff about Bianca’s death, I finally found an article about my father’s work,” Nico shared, motioning to the computer screen. Jason leaned in to examine the webpage.

“I mean, it’s not much. I found out the name of the company he works for, which is probably just a cover-up. And their main office is about thirty blocks away from here. They claim to sell medical equipment. The article talks about a big business deal in South America, but it seems pretty suspect.”

“It’s a start, at least,” Jason said, always the optimistic one. “I can probably go check it out sometime. At least see if this office is a legitimate place.”

Nico didn’t like the sound of that, but also knew that protesting would do very little. “Don’t go during business hours. We can’t risk you running into my father.” That rule, at least, Jason seemed to respect.

“Deal. Maybe I’ll get Leo to come with me.”

“Leo is having a little too much fun playing secret agent,” Nico scowled, closing the internet article and turning to face his boyfriend. “How did school go?”

“Piper knows I’m hiding things from her, so that’s bad. But I did talk to Hazel, and I think I may have found a way to get closer to her.” Nico listened patiently as Jason explained the details of his day and tried not to worry. Hazel didn’t need to know what was going on, she could get out of this unscathed. Nico had to believe that, otherwise he would never be able to go through with Jason’s plan. Without Bianca, Hazel was the closest thing Nico had to a sister, and he couldn’t stand to think of her getting hurt, especially at his expense.

“Hey,” Jason said, interrupting himself mid-story and cupping Nico’s face, “It’s going to be okay. I’m not going to let Hazel get hurt, okay. I know how much you care about her. And I care about you. And we’re going to get through this. Okay? ”

Nico smiled. Maybe Jason would make an optimist out of him yet. “Okay.”

Jason, who stood above Nico’s chair, crouched down to give the younger boy a kiss. Pulling away, he said, “Maybe okay will be—”

“Don’t you dare.”

The blond laughed.

 

…

 

“Hazel seems really pure,” Jason commented that night, placing his physics textbook to the side. “How is that possible in your family?”

Nico turned away from the laptop, a melancholy look in his eyes. “Yeah, well, her father Pluto isn’t as bad as mine. He gambles a lot, really greedy, but not the violent type. At the end of the day, I’d say he truly cares about Hazel, almost as much as he cares about money. I can’t imagine him intentionally hurting her.”

Pluto sounded a bit like Jason’s own father. Jupiter hadn’t been the gambling type, but money had always seemed like a primary concern for him. How much money could he make? How much richer could he get? How many more hours could he spend at work?

“Plus, Hazel is young. She’s actually supposed to be a freshman, she just turned fifteen in December. She still has some of that youthful optimism.” Nico smiled drily. “You know, her birthday may have been my last halfway decent day with my family before Bianca’s death.” Over the past month and a half, it had become increasingly easier for Nico to talk about Bianca’s murder. He hadn’t had a _really_ bad nightmare in over ten days. “I mean, we certainly didn’t have a good Christmas, or New Years, and well… then of course there was _my_ birthday.”

That caught Jason’s attention. He realized that he actually had no idea when his own boyfriend’s birthday was. Funny how he’d kissed the scars on Nico’s back but couldn’t pinpoint his day of birth. “What about your birthday?”

“Oh, I guess you wouldn’t know, huh? Remember when I told you that the night Bianca died, I had been trying to get my mother and her out of there?”

Jason nodded.

“And I told you that beforehand, he’d choked my mother because he thought it was her fault for having fucked up children?”

Jason nodded again, more hesitantly this time.

“We’d just gotten home from my small ‘birthday party’ of sorts when that happened. But I didn’t actually turn sixteen until three days later, on the twenty-eighth.”

If Jason’s blood could have turned to ice in his veins, it would have. Jason had never put much thought into Nico’s age. He was sixteen, just a year younger than Jason was. But that wasn’t the full story.  He was _barely_ sixteen, and when Bianca died he’d only been…

“Does this mean that you turned sixteen—”

“On the streets? Yeah. I honestly wasn’t even sure what day it was, they all blurred together. Point is, there were few happy days with my family, but I can thank Hazel for a lot of them. If she gets hurt…”

“Come here,” Jason said, holding out his arms to the younger boy. Nico hesitated a moment and then crossed the room to sit on Jason’s lap. The blond wrapped his arms around Nico and squeezed him tight, burying his face in his pale neck. “Hazel seems like a tough girl, and your mother is a brave woman. You’ll get to have more happy days with both of them,” he whispered against Nico’s skin.

 “One of these days, Jay, you’re going to have to learn to stop making promises you can’t keep,” Nico murmured back. Jason placed several kisses on the other boy’s neck.

“On that happy thought,” he rolled both of them over, so now Nico was beneath Jason and moved up to connect their lips. Nico tugged Jason closer and sighed against his lips, wrapping a leg around his midsection.

Jason groaned and kissed him harder. After almost an entire day in bed with Nico yesterday, eight hours away from him had been especially awful. Now Jason wanted to kiss his beautiful boyfriend all night, homework be damned.

Nico shouldered the older boy away, too soon for Jason’s liking. “Are you trying to distract me?”

Jason smiled guiltily and stole another kiss. “Maybe a little.”

“I’m oddly okay with that,” Nico informed him, digging his fingers into a blue cotton shirt and yanking it up over Jason’s head. “I’m even more okay with this.” They kissed until Nico’s shirt somehow ended up at Jason’s feet and Jason’s pants fell to the floor below. However, this left Nico more clothed than Jason, which the blond found unacceptable.

God, for two virgins who’d decided to hold off on sex, Jason and Nico sure fooled around a lot.

“Can I?” Jason inquired, tugging on the elastic waist of Nico’s sweatpants. The dark haired boy nodded vigorously. Apparently Jason had picked a fairly good distraction.

“Shit,” Nico hissed as Jason placed open-mouthed kisses down his throat and across his chest. Meanwhile, Nico had a firm lock on Jason’s hair, not that Jason minded. He yanked down on the sweatpants, moving his lips even lower when Nico wore only his underwear, which didn’t do a very good job at hiding the younger boy’s arousal.

“I think you’ve had a stressful day,” he mumbled against Nico’s stomach. “But I’d be willing to  help you take a load off.”

Nico snorted, “That’s the worst line I’ve ever heard.”

Jason lifted his head and met Nico’s eyes. “Well, if you don’t want to, I guess I could just—”

Nico released Jason’s hair, springing up suddenly and capturing the blond’s lips in a searing kiss. Jason took that as an indication to keep going and slipped his hands down to Nico’s cotton-clad ass. Jason had checked out plenty of guys’ butts before, but he’d never felt such a need to get his hands on one. Then again, he’d never needed to touch anyone in any way as much as he did Nico. With Nico, there was always more to touch. Using his hands, Jason pushed Nico forward so their arousal could rub together. The boys moaned almost in perfect unison at the friction.

But Jason had more in mind than just grinding, so he gently nudged Nico back down to his former position, lying on the bed. “I do believe I owe you something from a few days ago,” Jason recalled, grinning mischievously.

He pulled the black briefs down.

And chucked them across the room.

 

…

 

Nico hadn’t imagined his day would end with a blowjob. Then again, he never quite knew what to expect with Jason Grace. There was no such thing as a bad day with him around, only bittersweet ones. And this was definitely, well… sweet.

Nico had been forced to pull Jason’s pillow over his face almost immediately. It may have been evening, but Jason’s mother hadn’t left yet, and if Nico made as much noise as he wanted to, even the oblivious Beryl Grace would have realized what was going on.

Like Nico, Jason wasn’t perfect. A little too enthusiastic for his own good, sometimes accidentally gagging a little—yeah, Jason Grace gagging on _Nico’s_ dick, talk about a confidence booster—when he tried to take in too much too quickly. However, Jason also didn’t have as much length to deal with, so he certainly took in more than Nico had been able to Saturday night.

But hey, if they kept on like this, Nico supposed he’d have plenty of opportunities to improve.

When he finally came, Nico had to bite down hard on his tongue, partially to quell his pleasured moan and partially out of fear that whatever came out of his mouth would be far more embarrassing. A spontaneous confession of love while his dick was still down Jason’s throat didn’t seem like the most romantic thing in the world.

Plus, there was still the insecurity that love, out of all the things going on, would be the thing to scare Jason away. Maybe that was unreasonable. Surely Jason had strong feelings for Nico, he and Thalia had both said as much, but guys were weird.

And well, maybe Nico was a little afraid of admitting it to himself out loud. Like the first time Nico had ever looked in a mirror and whispered “I’m gay” to himself. Telling Jason he loved him would make everything feel so… real. And even more dangerous. Because the last time Nico so openly displayed his love for someone, they ended up…

Why the hell was he thinking of all of this after receiving oral sex from his boyfriend for the first time? Nico shook his head and tossed the pillow aside. Jason pulled back, wiping his lip with the back of his hand and grinning. “I’d ask if you liked it, but well…” he looked down at Nico’s dick, “I think it’s safe to say you did.”

“Jerk,” Nico mumbled, suppressing a smile.

“I wish we didn’t have to be so quiet,” Jason pouted. “I like hearing you.”

 “You’re so weird.” Jason crawled up, probably looking for a kiss, but Nico put a hand up to stop him.

“Just because you kissed me with your come in my mouth, doesn’t mean I will,” he teased, simply pecking the blond on the lips instead. “You kinky bastard. What happened to Vanilla Jason?”

The blond laughed loudly. “You _assumed_ I was tame and boring. I never _said_ I was. There’s a difference.” He placed a gentle kiss on Nico’s cheek.

“Lucky for you, I don’t mind dating kinky bastards.”

Jason winked. “Yeah, lucky me.”

 

…

 

Piper was no less frigid at school on Tuesday. Upon walking into English, Jason tried to pull her aside, but she just glared at him. “Unless you’re actually going to be honest with me, Jason, I don’t want to hear it.”

Then Calypso told him to get lost. He retreated to the second to last row to take his usual seat, where Rachel Dare seemed to be waiting for him. “So, did you and Piper break up?”

Like Jason said, a little too chatty to be considered polite. But at least _Rachel_ meant well, he supposed.“Piper isn’t my girlfriend, she’s my friend.”

The redheaded girl raised her eyebrows. “Oh,” she nodded. “That makes sense. Okay, so you’re dating someone else and Piper is angry with you about it.”

_Actually…_

“I don’t really want to talk about it, Rachel.”

She shrugged, “Suit yourself. But just so you know, everything is going to be okay. She’ll forgive you soon.” Rachel Dare leaned closer, “I’m sort of psychic,” she whispered, “Anyway, good luck fixing things.” Her red hair swung wildly as she turned back around in her seat.

Jason decided that Tuesdays were even worse than Mondays.

 

…

 

Jason had barely taken his seat in Advanced Drawing when a math worksheet—or a quiz, maybe—was dropped in front of him. The first thing he noticed was the number 67 written in red pen and circled several times around. The second thing he saw was Hazel Levesque’s name written across the top.

“You still up for helping me?” Hazel asked. Jason turned and found the short sophomore girl standing directly behind him.

Between getting hot and heavy with Nico last night and his continued fight with Piper this morning, Jason had nearly forgotten about the bigger picture. He straightened his back and smiled. “Yeah, of course I am. I have work today and Friday, but I’m available other than that. When are you free?”

They arranged to go to a nearby coffee shop the following day after school. Jason would have preferred they work at her apartment, but he couldn’t be too pushy. Earning Hazel’s trust was important. Besides, he didn’t actually _mind_ helping Hazel with her math homework. In fact, he probably would have done it even if Nico weren’t a part of the equation. Still though, this would delay Jason’s hopes of finding incriminating evidence against Hades. 

The scary part was, Jason had no idea how much time Nico had.

 

…

 

At work that day Jason found himself cleaning the countertop and sweeping the floor in the rarely used café area. Not the most difficult job, but not terribly exciting either. Sometimes Jason found it hard to believe Chiron made enough money to keep Delphi running, as well as have two employees—even if they only helped out a few days a week.

Annabeth worked diligently in the actual store portion, moving books that had been shifted by customers into correct places while Chiron manned the cash register. “I would help you, Annabeth dear, but I’m afraid my old back cannot stand all the bending over to put books away these days.

“Don’t worry about it Chiron,” she replied, “It’s kind of like a game for me.”

How come _Jason_ didn’t get the fun work?

When it was finally time to clock out, Jason headed to the counter to say a few words to Chiron. “Your back still hurting you?”

“Afraid so, but hey, I’m getting older.”

Chiron was just over fifty, hardly old at all, but Jason didn’t bother to correct the man. “Everything else going good with you, Chiron?”

“Yes, actually,” he perked up suddenly, “I’ve been meaning to ask you! My nephew Achilles is getting married this weekend, so I’ll be heading to Connecticut on Saturday morning, do you think you could look after the shop for me that day and stay here overnight? You could sleep in my apartment upstairs. I trust you to keep things running here while I’m gone. And we’re closed on Sundays anyway, so you’d just have to stay here. I’ll be home by dinnertime.”

“Sure,” Jason replied immediately. “Tell your nephew I said congratulations.”

Chiron smiled warmly. Just then, Annabeth came up to the counter. “Okay, Chiron, I’m about to head out.”

“Okay, Annabeth, have a good night.”

The blonde girl’s eyes drifted to the side. “Hey, have you guys seen today’s paper?” She held up a newspaper, displaying the front page for Jason and Chiron to examine.

A blurry picture that appeared to have been hurriedly taken—with a cell phone most likely— was blown up to cover a large portion of the front page. The photo had clearly been zoomed, meaning that whoever had taken it was probably a great deal farther away the they appeared. This did not help the image quality. It was also difficult to see because of the fact that it was dusk when the picture had been snapped, but the photo appeared to be of a person—a boy—in a brown jacket, with some sort of other hooded jacket under it that he had partially covering his hair. His side profile was all that could be seen, but still the figure seemed oddly familiar to Jason. Dark hair peeking out from the hoodie, a small, lean figure swimming in his coat, a glimpse of pale skin, visible even at the distance the picture was taken from.

And then he read the headline.

And everything stopped. His heartbeat, his blood flow, his breathing, every errant thought running through his mind.

This couldn’t be happening.

**Nico di Angelo Still in New York?**


	17. How Does He Know? (You Love Him)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lengthy chapter for everyone to enjoy because shit, is this one ever important. I’m also pretty proud considering I wrote and edited it all with only seven days of actual work. SonOfHades, I hope you appreciate this chapter because I worked my ass off to get this to you days earlier than I originally planned. Feel special, you dork.

Jason rushed home with the newspaper clutched to his chest, barely able to keep himself from flat-out sprinting.

How the hell had anyone seen Nico? Nico stayed out of public view for over two weeks while _living_ in thestreets and the one night in over a month that he decided to go outside someone just so happened to see him? _And_ get a picture? _Just_ as things were starting to look up?

What kind of fucked up game was fate playing here?

Part of Jason foolishly hoped that the picture was fake, that this person in the photo only _looked_ like Nico. But even if that were the case it wouldn’t matter much, because nobody else would know the difference, and the mad hunt for Nico would get, well… even madder.

Jason nearly had to duck into an alley to vomit. They just couldn’t catch a break. Not even for a minute. Not for a damn second.

 _Relax,_ he ordered himself. _Calm down, Jason. It’s not like the knowledge that Nico is still in New York will lead the cops right to your door. He’s safe. He’s safe._

Jason squeezed his eyes shut and repeated those two words over and over again, like a mantra, until he knew that he could keep walking without throwing up. That didn’t stop his hands from shaking, though. And his legs.

 **_I_ ** _will keep him safe._

 

…

 

Nico couldn’t remember the last time he blinked, though he was vaguely aware of the burning sensation in his eyes as they scanned the computer screen. For several hours now he had searched high and low for any sort of information on his father’s side of the family, anything in the eighty plus years they’d lived in America that could hint at the truth behind his father’s line of work.

Easier said than done, considering the only resource that could assist him was Google. Weren’t there supposed to be old newspapers or something on the internet? Where were those?

Nico groaned through clenched teeth and closed the laptop. Useless, that was what he was. While Jason put himself on the line, seeking out witnesses and sinking deeper into the quicksand that was Nico’s life, Nico couldn’t even manage to find some helpful information online.

If the computer hadn’t belonged to Jason, Nico probably would have chucked it across the room. Jason had put everything on the line to help Nico, but what had he offered in return? Moral support and blowjobs?

It wasn’t enough. Nico knew it. Soon Jason would know it too.

Jason was fighting a dangerous and tiresome game for someone that really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things… and he was going to lose.

Nico swallowed the lump of frustrated tears growing in his throat and slammed his head down on top of the desk.

What a pathetic excuse for a boyfriend he was.

Nico felt the beginnings of a panic attack stirring inside of him. Wanting to avoid a complete mental breakdown, he pushed back the desk chair and headed to the bathroom. Hopefully a running sink wouldn’t draw the attention of Jason’s likely awake mother. After splashing some water on his face, he forced himself to take several deep breaths. _Come on, Nico. Calm down._

The last thing Nico needed was for Jason to come home and find him writhing on the floor and hyperventilating like the complete fucking mess he was. No, Nico needed to get a grip. Pull himself together. He splashed more water on his face for good measure and then examined his face in the mirror.

If possible, Nico had gotten ever paler than he’d been before. Tanner “vampires” had stepped off the set of _Twilight_ movies. Then there was his hair, which really only barely qualified as hair. A bird’s nest was perhaps closer to accurate. Nico tried to recall when he’d last brushed it. Was it before or after his fight with Jason? The last time he honestly remembered was Thalia’s visit. Hair hadn’t been much of a concern with everything else going on, but now Nico found himself digging around Jason’s drawers for a brush. Jason also had a lot on his plate and still found the time to look fucking gorgeous every day, the least Nico could do was brush his damn hair. Painstakingly, Nico dragged the torture device through his hair, feeling a lot like Mia Thermopolis from The Princess Diaries. (It used to be one of Bianca’s favorites, sue him).

By the time it was all brushed and semi-presentable, Nico saw just how long it had gotten. Another two inches or so and Nico’s hair would be touching his shoulders. Jason probably had scissors somewhere, but Nico couldn’t decide if having a choppy ass haircut was any better than the long hair he currently had.

With a start, Nico realized that he didn’t feel in danger of having a panic attack anymore. Apparently Nico’s unattractiveness could even scare away his own fear and anxiety. He sighed, averting his eyes from his own reflection and pushing the bathroom door back open.

Just as the bedroom door opened and Jason burst in.

 _Wow, that late already?_ Nico thought, both surprised that the day had gotten away from him so quickly and relieved to see his boyfriend.

The relief was short lived however, when Nico saw the look on the blond’s face.

“Jay?” He asked in a hesitant voice, wondering if maybe he wasn’t the only one more anxious than usual today. The blue-eyed boy stared down at a paper—a newspaper by the looks of it—with barely contained panic clear on his face. A pit formed in Nico’s stomach. Nothing good came from newspapers, not these days, not for Nico. Without thinking, he crossed the room and gently pried it from his hands.

“We have a possible situation,” Jason choked, just as Nico’s eyes landed on the headline.

The paper fell to the floor.

 

…

 

The look on Nico’s face told Jason everything he needed to know, but he asked anyway.

“So, I take it that _is_ your picture?”

Nico stared up at Jason, dark eyes wide and swimming in fear. “Jay—Jason I didn’t—I didn’t see _anyone._ I was so careful, I—”

“Shh,” Jason said, putting a finger to Nico’s lips. “It’s not your fault.”

Nico snorted and pushed Jason’s hand away. “I fail to see how it could be anyone else’s fault. I’m so goddamn stupid. I fuck everything up. I shouldn’t have—”

Not knowing what to do, Jason lurched forward and kissed the younger boy. Nico tensed at first, trying to shove Jason off, but the blond stood his ground until the other boy relaxed and practically sank into Jason’s body.

“What’s done is done, right? We all do stupid things, but that doesn’t make us stupid people. I’m sure you were being as cautious and careful as you could be.”

Nico’s eyes shifted to the wall of windows across from the two boys, probably thinking the same thing as Jason. _Someone out there took that picture._

“Hey, look at me,” Jason prompted softly. Dark brown eyes reacquainted themselves with Jason’s blue ones. “I’m not mad at you. And this isn’t the end of the world. We’ll just have to be even more careful, okay? You can’t leave the apartment for anything. We got lucky that whoever saw you snapped a picture and didn’t call the cops. The city is huge, they can’t find you.”

Nico, however, didn’t appear convinced. And even though he was looking at Jason, the blond could still see the New York skyline in his eyes.

 

…

 

The article didn’t say much. The date and time and location the photo had been taken were the only concrete facts that could point to Nico’s whereabouts, which really wasn’t much to go off of considering the picture hadn’t been snapped anywhere near Jason’s apartment. Still, Nico felt a horrible unease. Surely the people of the city would take to the Nico hunt with even more fervor now. How long would it take people to figure out that Nico must have help with staying under the radar? Jason and Nico had to be more watchful and inconspicuous than ever now. Which meant…

“I don’t want you pursuing references for a while,” Nico blurted, placing the newspaper on Jason’s desk.

“What?” Jason asked incredulously, “Now pursuing leads is even more important than before. We have to clear your name, or at least gather some kind of helpful evidence, before anyone can find you.”

Typical reckless hero thinking. Nico couldn’t expect any less from Jason at this point. “Jay, if you do anything too conspicuous or bring up my name to too many people, it could raise suspicions. Sooner or later people will probably realize that I must be hiding out with someone, and if they suspect it’s you…”

“I’m meeting Hazel for coffee and to study after school tomorrow. I can’t cancel on her, Nico. If I stop trying to prove your innocence, then we’re both just sitting ducks.”

Nico scowled. “Better a sitting duck than a roasted one, Jason. Trust me.”

The boys fell silent.

“A compromise then,” Jason relented. “I stop pursuing new potential leads and just focus on the one we already have. Hazel, her father, the business.”

“No,” Nico said immediately. Out of all the things that Jason could do to help, he _had_ to be laser-focused on one of the most dangerous tasks, second only to approaching Hades himself. Nico was in a laptop throwing mood again. He backed away from the desk. “You don’t think my family reads the newspaper Jason?”

“I don’t think there’s much of a choice here, Nico,” the blond replied, voice unwavering. “This article makes things harder, yes, but not impossible. I’ll pull back, I’ll keep an even lower profile, but I won’t cancel on Hazel. It’s too important.”

 _No, you’re too important. To me._ Nico thought.

“Meet Hazel tomorrow,” Nico allowed, “But… stay away from her apartment. At least until we can assess how people will react to the article. I don’t want you going near my uncle. At least not right now. Deal?”

Jason nodded, letting his shoulders sag in defeat but also smiling at the small victory he had claimed. Nico felt a similar triumph, not at the thought of Jason dipping his foot into the shark tank but because they had actually come to an agreement. No blow up fight, no yelling, no real loser and winner.

“Yeah, yeah I’ll take that deal.”

 

…

 

“So wait, those are devils? The nun is a devil?” Jason asked, turning to Nico with raised eyebrows.

“No, there’s only one devil, Jay. They took care of him like four seasons ago, that’s just a demon.”

“But how did the demon go inside a nun?”

“Jason, shh,” Nico hissed, placing his palm over the blond’s mouth. He may have loved Jason, but Tuesday nights he belonged to the Winchesters, plain and simple.

“Sorry, sorry,” the blond mumbled, kissing Nico’s cheek. They were watching TV in Jason’s room tonight. Just their luck, Beryl Grace had decided to stay in tonight. Who knew, maybe in the morning she’d decide to waltz on in and clean Jason’s sheets for him. With Nico’s poor fortune, it wouldn’t come as much of a surprise.

Jason’s lips moved down to Nico’s neck, releasing a breathy and oddly irritated moan from Nico’s throat. “Jay,” he protested, “I’m trying to pay attention.”

Jason pouted and drew his lips away, crossing his arms over his chest and raising a questioning brow. He looked so damn hot that Nico had to tear his eyes away to avoid jumping him that second. “Fine,” the blond grumbled.

 _He’s too attractive for me,_ Nico thought. _And way to kindhearted._ The fact that Jason hadn’t dumped him yet confused Nico more than just about anything. Just trying to wrap his mind around it gave him a migraine.

So he kept his eyes on the television and tried to keep his mind on the show, musing how a couple demons inside of nuns weren’t nearly as confusing as the inner workings of Jason Grace’s mind.

 

…

 

Nico had _so_ thought he was past the whole nightmare thing.

Yeah, if only.

Like many nightmares, Nico wasn’t immediately aware that he was asleep. Jason’s windows gave no light, indicating a sun long gone. Jason must have been working late again, as Nico found himself completely alone in the bedroom. The loneliness didn’t bother him though, there were still a good fifty books on Jason’s shelf he’d yet to read. In fact, Nico felt almost serene.

The door opened, signaling Jason’s return, and Nico’s heart lifted. Good book or not, Nico could never complain about his boyfriend coming home. He dropped the book and turned to the door, a wide smile on his face.

Only it wasn’t Jason.

It was Nico’s father.

“Oh son, you just made it so simple to find you,” the man said, a sinister smile tugging at his lips. Nico froze. _No, no, impossible!_

“Jason—”

“That blond? It was nothing to find him. Too easy, really. When I caught him, he begged me to spare him. He even told me exactly where to find you.”

“No, Jason wouldn’t—”                                             

“Betray you? He did. What, you thought he would be above saving his own skin? You thought he _cared_ about you that much? You were a toy to him. He’s on his way to California as we speak. His future at Stanford is what really matters to him. Maybe he’ll meet a new boy, one who isn’t so pathetic. Why should he care what happens to you?”

Nico knew he needed to run. He’d rather throw himself through Jason’s windows than let Hades get his hands on him. But he couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. A mountain sat on his chest. Jason had _left_ him. He’d sold him out without a moment’s hesitation. Jason didn’t care. He’d probably never cared.

Nico hoped his father had come to kill him.

He’d let him.

 

…

 

“No,” Nico mumbled, waking Jason from his sleep. “No, no, no, no.” A sheen of sweat covered the younger boy’s forehead, illuminated by the dull glow of the alarm clock on the nightstand.

Jason shook the sleeping boy gently, “Nico, Nico wake up,” he whispered, hovering a few inches above Nico’s face. “You’re dreaming. It’s just a dream.”

He jolted awake, his forehead knocking Jason’s painfully. “Shit,” Jason cursed, drawing back slightly and rubbing his forehead.

Nico blinked up at him in confusion. “Jay?” He whispered.

“You were having a nightmare,” Jason explained.

“Clearly,” Nico sighed, placing a hand to his own forehead. “Sorry for waking you. And the head thing.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He slipped an arm around Nico, vaguely aware that he was practically on top of him. “You want to talk about it?”

Nico’s expression darkened, “No, not really.” Jason frowned. What was so terrible that Nico couldn’t even bear to say it?

“Okay,” he said, gently kissing the other boy’s cheek. “It was just a bad dream. It’s over now. You’re okay.”

“Yeah, I know,” Nico whispered, but the look in his eyes betrayed his words. Whatever horror had starred in Nico’s dreams, it most certainly was _not_ okay. “I don’t think I’m ready to go back to sleep yet, though.”

“I’ll stay up with you,” Jason promised, completely wrapping Nico in his embrace. He’d cuddle the nightmares away if he needed to.

“No, it’s fine,” Nico told him in a dead voice. “You have school in the morning. You should sleep.”

“I’ll survive.”

“Jason, just go to sleep, really. I don’t want you falling asleep in school.”

Nico had a point, but that didn’t mean Jason felt okay just leaving Nico to his thoughts. He knew firsthand that one’s own mind could be a very dangerous place. Still, maybe Nico really did need space. Jason didn’t want to pry if Nico actually didn’t feel comfortable talking about it. He exhaled slowly and rolled back onto his back. “You sure you’ll be all right?”

Nico snuggled closer against Jason, resting his head against his shoulder. “Yeah. Just… hold me.”

Jason lightly kissed the pale boy’s forehead, “I can do that.” He squeezed Nico for good measure, then fell into a fitful sleep.

 

…

 

“You look tired,” Leo told Jason the following morning, as if the blond teenager had not already noticed. “Boogeyman keep you up?”

“If the Boogeyman is suddenly a nightmare-plagued sixteen year old boy,” Jason sighed, nodding for his friend to follow him down the sidewalk. Even though he had taken Nico’s advice and slept, the stressed state he had fallen asleep in had him tossing and turning all night, waking up in sudden flashes of panic or paranoia. _What’s wrong?_ Jason wished he could scream. _How can I help you? Please let me help you!_

But he stayed silent, and so had Nico when they woke up that morning. From the time Jason’s alarm went off until Jason kissed Nico goodbye, he’d maybe gotten seven words out of the boy. Whatever the dream was that had shaken Nico up so much had taken its toll on Jason too, perhaps if in different ways.

“So, Neeks had a nightmare and you stayed up all night kissing his neck and repeating into his ear how your undying love for him would keep him safe?”

“Shut up, Leo,” Jason groaned, far too groggy and bothered by Nico’s nightmare to deal with a Leo Valdez joke.

“I was being serious,” Leo clarified. “I mean, mostly. I thought a mushball like you would be all about fighting the darkness back with the power of love.”

Jason grudgingly felt his face heating up. “No, and I wish you’d stop using that word.”

“Mushball?”

“Love,” Jason grumbled. “I haven’t even told Nico yet, okay?”

Leo snorted, “Dios mio, Jason! What’s stopping you, the Berlin Wall? I thought you were like, crazy in love with this guy? I’ve been waiting for you to start writing crappy cavity inducing poetry about him. How have you still not told him?”

“I just haven’t okay?”

_“How does he know that you love him? How do you show him you love him?”_

“Stop singing Disney songs to describe my love life.”

_“How does he know that you really, really, truly love him?”_

“Nico’s about to not be the only wanted criminal in my relationship if you don’t stop singing,” Jason warned.

Leo grinned sheepishly. “When are you _planning_ on telling him, man?”

Jason asked himself that too, especially after nights like last night. Holding Nico before he fell asleep, he’d only wanted to stroke the younger boy’s dark hair and comfort him with gentle whispers of “I love you.” But Jason had also known one fact about Nico since even before the night they met. He knew that, when things got too scary or depressing or painful, when people got too close or people got hurt or Nico felt confused, Nico would run.

“Did I ever mention what happened the first time Nico and I kissed?” Jason inquired.

“Uh, you had a sexual awakening and tried to stick your hand down his pants?”

Jason shot Leo the dirtiest glare he could manage. “He panicked and tried to sneak out while I slept.”

“Oh yeah, because of that thing with the other guy, right? The one you told me his dad, uh…”

Jason nodded, wondering if maybe he never should have shared that particular story with Leo. “The point is, the stronger I show my feelings, the more likely he is to have another one of those panicked moments. And I can’t lose him, Leo. Especially not with his name hot in the papers all over again.”

“Oh yeah, I saw that!” Leo declared, snapping his fingers together. “Tough break.”

“Tell me about it.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes.

“Okay, do you want to hear my two cents on the matter?” Leo finally asked.

“Uh, not particularly,” the blue-eyed boy retorted.

He was ignored. “So here it is! You’re obviously nuts about this guy. Complete sap, for whatever reason.” Leo got slapped on the arm, _hard._ “By that I mean that Neeks certainly has his charms and I can totally get why you love him so much. But I don’t think all of this fear is that he’ll find out and leave you. That’s part of it, sure. But you’re afraid that he _won’t_ leave.”

It was probably the most ridiculous statement Jason had ever heard. “Excuse me?”

“It’s just like this one soap opera my Tia Callida watches. This guy loves a girl—no offense to Nico—and he’s afraid that she’ll love him back because if she does, that means he’ll only continue to fall more hopelessly in love with her.”

“I’m so lost.”

“Dude, it’s simple! You love boy. If boy loves you, then you’ll love boy more and more. But then if boy leaves you after all of that, you both are left hurt beyond repair. You’re afraid he’ll leave you, and you’ll get hurt. You’re afraid he’ll stay, and you’ll get hurt. And all of this fear has you too chicken shit to say anything.”

Jason stared at him in utter surprise until his eyes burned. There was truth in Leo’s words, whether Jason had realized it or not. Had Leo just… made a point? An actual point?

“Since when are you so deep, Valdez?”

“Oh you know, been brushing up on all that sappy romance drama shit. Gotta show Calypso that this bad boy can have a sensitive side.”

“Bad boy?” Jason snorted.

Leo’s ears reddened. “Don’t change the subject, Jase. Tell the damn boy that you love him already, spare me all the angst.”

Jason let out a puff of breath. “Yeah, I’d hate to inconvenience you.”

“Save it for Juliet, Romeo. Ow!” Leo rubbed his arm, slapped for the second time in a two minute period. Jason shrugged as if to say, _you totally deserved that._

The Romeo and Juliet comparison was just not one Jason could get behind. The star crossed lovers who took their own lives?

Yeah, count Jason out. 

 

…

 

“Jason!” Annabeth called, chasing Jason down the hallway before lunch.

Jason halted, suddenly recalling the suspicious way in which he’d barged out of Delphi the previous night. Had she noticed? Jason didn’t know how well he would hold up against an interrogation courtesy of Annabeth Chase.

“Annabeth. Hey,” Jason greeted, aware of how incredibly awkward he sounded. _Stay cool,_ he thought, _don’t be an idiot._ Annabeth had a smile on her face, which he supposed was good. Unless it was an act, of course.

“Did you get in?” She asked, smiling enthusiastically.

“What?”

“To Stanford, idiot! My cousin Malcolm in Philadelphia got his letter last night. He got in! What about you?”

 _Stanford._ Again, Jason had let himself nearly forget about his long-standing dream. Between hiding his secret boyfriend and trying to prove that said boyfriend wasn’t a murderer, Jason kind of had a lot on his plate.

But at Annabeth’s words, all those hopes and dreams, all the hard work and nerves came rushing back with tidal wave force. Stanford had sent out acceptance letters already? Where was Jason’s?

“I, uh, haven’t heard from them yet,” Jason admitted sheepishly. Annabeth had been accepted early decision to Yale back in December. Her future was set in stone.

And Jason didn’t even know if he’d be alive and out of jail six months from now. He’d known the risks when he fell for Nico, and he hadn’t even tried to fight it. Still, Jason couldn’t deny that he felt a little jealousy toward Annabeth. He gave a sad smile. “But maybe I’ll get a letter soon.”

Annabeth’s joy had faded as well. “Yeah, I’m sure you will. You’ll probably get in. After all, you’re almost as smart as me,” she joked.

“I could study for the rest of my life and not be as smart as you, Annabeth.”

“I know,” she smirked, “But I’m trying to be supportive, dork. See you at work?”

“Not working today,” Jason told her.

“Well, see you around, then.” He nodded, but said nothing. They stood awkwardly for a moment, until Annabeth caught sight of Percy coming down the hall. “There’s Percy. I gotta go.”

Jason walked into the cafeteria, conflicted feelings swirling inside of him and stealing his appetite.

 

…

 

“So, I don’t get this, why are we using trigonometry in geometry?” Hazel asked as she sat down across from Jason at the café table. She rifled through her backpack, withdrawing a spiral notebook and the same worksheet she’d shown Jason the previous day in Drawing.

“Because it has to do with shapes, although you’ll have to use this again next year in Algebra II, just a warning.”

“Fantastic,” she groaned, sipping at the cup of tea she’d just got from the counter.

“It’s okay,” Jason promised, an easy smile forming on his lips, “That’s why I’m here to help. Get out your calculator.”

As Hazel followed his instruction, Jason’s eyes wandered around the café. It was more of a coffee shop, really, though people could order sandwiches or salads if they so pleased. Typical, for this neighborhood.

The first twenty minutes or so involved nothing but tutoring. Jason had promised to help Hazel with math, and if he was going to use her to get information, the least he could do was actually help her bring up her damn geometry grade.

After explaining what Hazel had done wrong on her previous worksheet, Jason suggested they take a break and get pastries.

“Have you ever had a beignet, Jason?” Hazel asked, licking Cheese Danish crumbs off of her finger. “My mother is from New Orleans and she makes them for breakfast sometimes.”

Family talk. Perfect. “I can’t say I ever have. It’s like a doughnut, right?”

Hazel’s face scrunched up. “I hate when people make that comparison. It’s simply wrong. It’s like comparing lobster to shrimp cocktail!”

Jason snorted. Yeah, he could definitely see himself being friends with Hazel Levesque.

If she would even speak to him again when everything inevitably hit the fan…

He shook the thought away, biting into his chocolate croissant. “So your mother’s from Louisiana? That’s pretty cool. I’ve never been further south than Tennessee.”

“New Orleans is special. My mom’s grandmother, who my mother is named for, she claimed to be a fortuneteller. She’d do the tarot cards and everything. I never met her, but she practically raised my mom.”

“So how’d your mom end up in New York?” While Hazel swallowed a bite of her Danish, Jason prepared for a number of different follow up questions.

“She met my dad. She was nineteen and worked in a restaurant and he came in for lunch. It was sweet, I guess.” It _did_ sound sweet, but the small frown that tugged at Hazel’s lips told a different story. Jason wondered if maybe Hazel wasn’t as distanced from her family’s drama as Nico had presumed.

He should have commented, could have pursued that, but the look on her face stopped him. However Jason got Hazel to talk about her father, that potential route did not seem like one Jason had a right to venture down.

So instead, he said, “My parents met on New Year’s Eve. They married right after college. He was an asshole, but he kept my mom happy while he was alive.”

Hazel, who had been raising the pastry to her lips, set it down on her plate. “When did he die?”

“Freshman year. He wasn’t really around much anyway. All he left me was this stupid watch,” Jason shared, holding up his wrist.

Hazel nodded sympathetically, “I can relate to that actually. Well, the dad not being around part, not the watch.”

“Yeah?”

“My dad works a lot.”

“Mine was the same,” Jason said, hardly believing that he’d already gotten the conversation in the right direction. “He did urban development. What about yours?”

“He’s in sales. They sell medical equipment to developing countries or something. Dad doesn’t talk about work much.”

That was exactly what Nico had read online. However, the fact that Hazel even knew the cover story meant that Pluto must have given more information to his family than Hades had. Maybe Pluto _could_ be the answer to Nico and Jason’s problems.

“Sounds interesting,” he told the younger girl, who had just finished the last of her Danish.

“Well, we should get back to studying now. I have a quiz on Friday.”

“Yeah, sure.”

So maybe Hazel learned a lot more than Jason during their time at the café, but it wasn’t by any means a waste of time. Slowly but surely, Jason could feel himself earning Hazel’s trust. That was really all he could ask for.

 

…

 

Nothing in his mailbox. No Stanford letter. No anything. Jason sighed.

 

…

 

To Jason’s astonishment, his mother was sitting at the kitchen table when he arrived home.

“Hey mom, you’re up early,” he said in greeting.

Beryl Grace looked up at him with a sour expression. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that I normally don’t see you in the afternoon… or ever.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re eighteen, you don’t need me twenty-four seven, do you?”

“I’m seventeen,” he mumbled, not like it mattered. She was right, he didn’t need her all day. He didn’t need her at all.

“What did you say?” She asked.

“Not important.” Jason made his way down the hallway. He had no reason to waste his breath on his mother. She’d never really hear him.

 

…

 

Jason didn’t speak much during dinner, only vaguely commenting on his study session with Hazel. Nico could hardly criticize, he _certainly_ wasn’t contributing much to the conversation, but Jason normally wasn’t one to act closed-off.

“You seem stressed about something,” Nico commented, the uneasy feeling in his stomach only building.

“Sorry,” Jason managed a smile and leaned over to kiss Nico’s cheek. “I’m just a little distracted I guess. Apparently Annabeth’s cousin got his Stanford letter _yesterday_ and I still haven’t gotten anything.”

“Oh,” Nico muttered as his stomach dropped to his toes.

_His future at Stanford is what really matters to him._

Maybe that had just been some nightmare, but didn’t dreams often hold a degree of truth?

Nico withdrew from Jason. “Well, I’m sure it will come eventually, don’t worry about it,” he assured, aware of how distant he sounded but unable to change it.

California. What if he really got in? Would he just leave Nico?

Of course he would. If Jason didn’t want to leave New York, he wouldn’t be so anxious about this letter. This was Jason’s _dream._ Nico was just…

_A toy to him._

No. No, he refused to believe that. Jason wouldn’t— Jason couldn’t—

Could he?

An icy hand dug its fingers into Nico’s heart, making him feel cold all over. The only good thing to happen to Nico in all of this mess, and he could lose him forever.

 “I really want to finish this one book I started this morning, if that’s okay,” he muttered, turning his back on the blond.

“Oh…” Jason said, almost sounding melancholy. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”

Nico sat on Jason’s bed for the rest of the night, pretending to be absorbed in a book he hadn’t read a word of.

Around eleven, Jason put down the homework. “I’m tired. You ready for bed?”

“Sure,” Nico mumbled, placing the book down, though he was wide awake. They started to change into their sleepwear—the boys were not yet at the point where they felt comfortable sleeping in just their underwear, which Nico was actually grateful for now—and this time, Nico didn’t even bother to watch Jason change. He didn’t want to look at him at all, worried that if he did, he may break down and have a complete panic attack.

Suddenly, a pair of arms were wrapping around Nico’s bare torso, a warm chest pressing against his back. “Did I do something?” Jason whispered, his breath tickling the younger boy’s neck.

“Why would you ask that?” Nico replied in a flat tone.

“You’ve barely looked at or spoken to me since I got home. Is this because you’re still nervous about the whole Hazel thing? I promise I’m being careful, Nico.” 

Nico barely trusted his own voice, but replied nonetheless. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“I don’t like when you shut me out…” Jason replied, burying his nose in Nico’s dark hair. “Talk to me.”

“It’s not your job to fix all of my problems, Jason. I guess my dream last night just bothered me, okay?” He brushed the larger boy off and put on his sleeping shirt. Jason finished changing in silence while Nico crawled into the bed. The lamp clicked off and Jason slipped under the covers beside Nico.

“Can I, uh, still hold you?” He mumbled, staring at Nico with so much intensity the younger boy could feel it cut through the darkness.

Part of Nico wanted to refuse. Why bother letting Jason hold him, when he was so close to letting Nico go once and for all? But Nico was also weak, and he couldn’t deny how badly his body craved the other boy’s closeness. “Yeah,” Nico breathed, scooting closer to Jason for encouragement.

Jason wrapped his arms hesitantly around Nico and wiggled their bodies closer together. “Everything is going to work out, Nico. We’re in this together, okay?”

Were they? Were they really? If Jason got in to Stanford, where would that leave them? Sure, faithful Jason would still try to help, for a while. But after a few weeks, a month even, he’d realize that there was nothing he could do to help. And in California, he’d also learn that there were fish in the sea far better than Nico di Angelo.

How had the one thing Jason wanted most turned into one of Nico’s greatest fears?

“Okay,” Nico whispered, wishing harder than he’d ever wished for anything that things really would work out. Just this one time.

He laid awake for hours, warm but not quite comfortable in Jason’s arms, wondering how many more nights they had left together.

 

…

 

Thursday at work, Jason was so distracted that Chiron actually told him he should go home early. “I hope you’re not getting sick, Son.”

Unless being a mess of nerves suddenly counted as a legitimate illness, Jason doubted that was his problem. The lack of any word from Stanford had already stressed Jason out to begin with, and then the Nico Thing happened.

That was what Jason had decided to call it. Things had been fine between them on Tuesday, but since then Nico had barely spoken, barely looked at Jason, barely even eaten anything. It made Jason want to scream. If Nico didn’t tell him what was wrong, how was Jason ever supposed to fix it?

Most of all, Jason feared that it had been something he’d done. He knew they’d made a compromise on how far Jason could take his investigation, but what if Nico actually wasn’t okay with it? Or what if he suddenly hated Jason for dragging Hazel into the mix? The not-knowing would drive him insane before the week’s end, that was for sure.

“I just feel out of it today. I barely slept last night,” he said, which wasn’t quite true. Jason had slept, if having stressful dreams that he couldn’t break out of for the second night in a row actually qualified as resting.

“Well, you just go home and get some rest, okay?”

“Yeah, sure I’ll just do that,” Jason agreed, out of the door and half a block away before he remembered that he was supposed to get a copy of Delphi’s key from Chiron. Oh well, he’d just stop by tomorrow. Really, Jason just needed to get back to his building and check the mail again. And hopefully get his boyfriend to talk to him.

God, a kiss, too. Jason could really use a Nico kiss about now.

To his crushing disappointment, there was no Stanford letter in the mailbox. He rode the elevator up to his floor, considering just slamming his head into the fucking wall the entire time.

Could Stanford lose letters? Did that happen?

He stormed into his apartment, almost crashing into his mother in the process. “Out of your room again?” He asked, not quite in the mood for pleasantries right then. “New record.”

“I have a dinner date with a guy I met last night. And I probably won’t be home tonight so make sure you turn off all the damn lights when you go to sleep.”

“What does it matter? We can afford the electricity bill.”

His mother scowled deeply at him, her dark lipstick already smeared at the corner. “I’m leaving. And get your shit off of the kitchen counter. Your stupid mail has been sitting there for _days._ ”

“What mail?” Jason demanded, already sprinting into the kitchen. His eyes scanned the countertop three times frantically until he saw a stack of mail. _The empty mailvox yesterday._ Was it possible his mother had _already_ checked the mail that day.

Atop the pile of mail was his report card from the third term, which Jason shoved to the side. Following that was several junk letters inviting him to summer intern and leadership programs that Jason couldn’t give a shit about.

Then, finally—

Stanford University.

 

 “Nico!” Jason exclaimed, bursting through the door suddenly and scaring the daylights out of the Italian. “It’s here! It’s been here the whole time and my drunk ass mother never thought to tell me!”

He held up a sealed envelope so it almost poked Nico in the eye. The younger boy leaned back. “Wh—what did it say? Did you get in?”

Was Nico so horrible for hoping, deep down, that Jason had gotten a rejection?

“I haven’t opened it yet. I can’t. I’m too nervous.”

_Never open it. Please don’t leave me. I need you. I love you._

Not like saying that would stop him.

“Can—can you open it for me, Nico? I can’t bear to.”

“What?” Nico choked, his eyes widening as he took in the white envelope once again.

“Please. I’m so nervous. I can’t even look at it”

Jason thought _he_ was nervous? Nico fully expected to throw up on the blond’s shoes in the next thirty seconds. Of course it would be an acceptance. Someone as brilliant as Jason? Nico had been a fool to think he and Jason could ever actually be together.

“Give me the letter, I’ll read it,” he whispered, the lump already forming in his throat.

Jason placed it in his hand and then went directly to practically biting his lip off.

Nico tore open the envelope with his finger and pulled out the paper inside.

_Jason Grace, congratulations—_

Nico bit back a sob and tried not to crumple the paper, even as his world crashed around him.

“What? Good news or bad?

_The worst news I could ever imagine, Jay._

“You got in,” Nico shared, hating the way his voice shook.

“Yes!” Jason shouted with glee, immediately grabbing Nico’s face and kissing him hard on the lips. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” He kissed Nico again, but the younger boy did not move.

“Congratulations,” he managed, his voice even shakier than before. Tears blurred his vision. Control slowly waned, like darkness covering the moon, and Nico knew he had to make himself scarce. ASAP.

“Nico?” Jason asked, his jubilant smile dropping.

Nico didn’t answer, too afraid of the sob building once again in his throat. Instead he hurriedly shoved past Jason, into the bathroom, and locked the door.

He lost it immediately. His body shook and he cried into his hands, barely containing the sound.

“Nico? What’s wrong? Open the door. Talk to me,” Jason pleaded, knocking urgently.

What was there to be said?

It wasn’t like Nico could tell Jason to not live his dream so he could stay with Nico and risk getting killed. _If you love him, let him go. If you love him, let him go._

Nico was so fucking sick of losing people.

“Nico? Please?” A pause. “Are you crying?” The knocking intensified.

Oh fantastic, now Jason would always remember the day his dream came true as the day that his boyfriend stole his joy and acted like a needy brat.

“Go away, Jason!”

“I’m not going to just leave you in there, Nico. Please come out and talk to me. Please.”

“Why do you even care? Just call Thalia and celebrate or something!”

“What are you even talking about, Nico? Why _wouldn’t_ I care?”

Nico manically wiped his eyes and unlocked the bathroom door to glare at Jason. Well, he hoped he glared and didn’t make pathetic heartbroken puppy eyes.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because you’re moving to California. And it’s going to be a fantastic experience for you, Jason! You can go to your dream school and live with your sister and get out of New York and never have to think about it or anyone _in_ it ever again. Including me.”

He made to slam the door again, before the tears could pour down once more, but Jason shoved his foot in in between the door and the frame.

“Where the hell did this come from? Is this why you’ve been shrugging me off? You think I’m going to _break up with you?_ ”

“If you give me the long distance speech I swear—”

“Will you just let me talk?” Jason practically yelled. Nico nodded, only because he knew Jason wouldn’t stop even if Nico tried to interrupt him. The blond was probably about as stubborn as Nico himself.

“When I tell you how much I care about you and how we’re in this together, do you not listen to me? You think I hadn’t considered the fact that I’d eventually have to go to college? Nico, I’ve known this all along. And I decided recently that I just can’t go to California without _you._ ” His voice began to soften. “Stanford is my dream school, but I couldn’t be happy there if you weren’t with me. I’m _not_ going to be somewhere without you, and if you want to stay in New York, we will stay. I’ll get my own apartment, go to NYU, I don’t care! I love you, Nico, and that’s more important to me than California, more important than getting out of the city, more important than pretty much anything, honestly. I just want to be with you.” The blond finished, looking almost surprised by his _own_ words.

Nico’s mind completely unwound and then snapped back together in one jerky motion, not unlike a yo-yo. Had Jason really… Did he just… Did he…

“You—you what?”

Jason leaned in closer to Nico, a smile returning to his face. “I’m sort of completely in love with you. Have been for a while now. So uh, can we please get out of the bathro—mmph!”

The rest of Jason’s words were muffled as Nico crashed their lips together in a passionate and long-overdue kiss.

Love. Jason loved Nico. He was _in love_ with Nico.

It was almost funny, really. Nico had dreamed of something like this happening countless times over the past few weeks and never, not even once, had he imagined Jason would confess his love in the bathroom mid-argument while Nico’s face was still damp from a recent fit of heartbroken sobbing.

But there Nico stood, kissing his requited love three feet from the toilet while his heart soared so high and free he swore it would never return to normal again. 

How miraculous it was, to love and be loved.

 

…

 

After over a day with nothing more intimate than fully-clothed snuggling in bed, Jason swore that having his tongue in Nico’s mouth was equivalent to full-on intercourse. All of the confusion and anxiety and awkwardness of the past two days melted away, leaving Jason in a state of absolute euphoria.

When Nico finally tore his lips away, gasping for air, Jason couldn’t help but chase after his mouth, wanting nothing more than to kiss the dark haired boy until his lips literally stopped working.

Nico grinned and placed a hand over Jason’s lips, “Oxygen,” he said breathily. Jason inhaled deeply and then placed a gentle kiss on Nico’s open palm before lightly shoving the hand to the side.

For a minute, only the sounds of Jason and Nico’s uneven breathing permeated the silence. Finally, with his earlier grin now a shy smirk, Nico spoke again. “In case it wasn’t totally obvious, earlier or just now, I love you, too.” He grazed his fingers across Jason’s jaw and released a small sigh. Jason noticed with great affection that Nico’s cheeks had turned rosy. His beautiful, easily flustered boyfriend. “I love you so fucking much. I—I was afraid to tell you.”

Yes, Nico’s feelings for Jason _had_ been obvious to Jason, at least since he’d figured out what had sent Nico crying into the bathroom. That fear of losing someone, that fear of being torn from Jason, that was the same way Jason felt about Nico. And well, Jason loved Nico, so…

He’d taken a risk. In a moment of desperation, Jason had gone out on a limb and God had it ever paid off. Now that he thought about it, Jason felt like a complete idiot for waiting as long as he did to tell Nico the truth.

“I was afraid, too,” Jason admitted, laying a kiss on Nico’s neck. “I should have told you sooner.”

“No,” Nico decided, guiding Jason’s chin so their lips met instead. “Now is perfect.” They kissed again, more passionately this time. However, before Jason could even wonder how far they were going to take things, Nico’s legs collided with the cabinets under the sink.

“Maybe,” Nico said with a chuckle, “We should get out of the bathroom.”

“That might be a good idea.” Jason concurred.

They looked at each other and laughed, and Jason wondered if Nico too remembered the first night they had kissed, when they wound up pressed against the door and on the verge of attacking each other.

 _“Maybe we should get off the door.”_ Nico had joked.

_“That might be a good idea.”_

In a way, it was as if the boys had come full circle, from confused passion to promising love. The sentiment made Jason’s entire body sing.

Well… if they were going to relive some of their greatest hits.

“Whoa! Nico exclaimed, then gasped in surprised as Jason lifted him up off the ground.

“Wrap your legs around me tight, so you won’t fall,” Jason instructed. “Unless you’d rather me toss you over my shoulder again.” Nico quickly complied, not wanting to fall on his ass probably, and Jason smiled triumphantly.

He didn’t release the smaller boy until they hit his bed.

“I’m still not having sex with you,” Nico whispered.

“I’m still not asking,” Jason replied, though he did move his hands down the boy’s torso to the bottom of his shirt. “Can I take this off, though?”

“Oh I see, you tell me you love me so you can get me out of my clothes?” The Italian teased.

“No, I told you I loved you because I love you,” he placed his knees on either side of the thinner boy’s torso and placed a quick kiss on the tip of his nose. “When I want to get you out of your clothes, I just ask,” his fingers rubbed the smooth skin just above Nico’s pants, pushing up the black shirt a little to reveal a pale strip of flesh, “So can I take your clothes off now?”

Nico lifted his hips to grind against Jason—who had grown plenty hard over the last few minutes.

“I don’t know, you seem to be pretty horny, taking my clothes off may just tempt you.” The flirty smile Nico tacked onto the end made Jason bite his lip so hard he thought his teeth were going to cut through it.

“Kidding, I trust you,” Nico added after a few seconds of torture. “But you better take your clothes off too.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Nico di Angelo.”

 

…

 

The clock showed that it was nearly three in the morning, but Nico laid awake in bed yet again unable to sleep. This time, however, he wasn’t the only one. He and Jason rested naked against each other, back to stomach, snuggled as close as they could be without actually having sex.  Jason trailed soft kisses across Nico’s shoulders.

“You’re such a fucking snuggly dork” Nico sighed, not that he really minded. It felt nice to be close like this, to be so warm and comfortable, to feel loved.

“Maybe I am,” Jason admitted. “You’ll just have to get used to it.”

“I think I can do that,” Nico admitted.

Nico turned so they faced each other and pressed a chaste kiss to Jason’s lips. “I’m sorry for freaking out at you earlier. I didn’t mean to like, kill your Stanford high.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Jason whispered, stroking Nico’s hair reassuringly.

“Well, I’ve been thinking. And you know, August is still almost five months away, who’s to say we won’t have resolved all this by then. If that does happen, I probably won’t want to hang in New York anyway. Too many bad memories. And I bet my,” he swallowed hard, the word still painful to say out loud “mother would like it there.”

“Are you saying that—”

“Like I would actually tell you to turn down Stanford, moron,” Nico retorted, surprised that he meant it. Just this morning, Stanford had been his greatest fear, but now the thought gave him hope. He and Jason could be happy somewhere else. They could convict Hades and move clear across the country, to a place where the name Nico di Angelo would mean next to nothing. He could see a new place, start a new life.

And he could be with the guy he loved, the guy who loved him back.

For that chance, Nico would do almost anything.

“I love you,” Jason whispered.

No, he’d do _everything._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY!!!! THREE CHEERS FOR THE L WORD! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, it was a fucking roller coaster to write. That being said, there may be a bit of a wait for the next one. But don’t be sad, the reason it will take a while longer is because first I have two very special writing projects to get started on that I will share with you all in February! Exciting! Reminder that if you want to chat with me about this fic, or anything really, you can PM Carlee Adison on fanfiction.net or drop me an ask on tumblr at nephilimgirlbooks.


	18. Guilty (Until Proven Innocent)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not let this ominous chapter title worry you, it references an idea brought up near the end of the chapter and does not mean that Nico is about to be arrested or anything. Okay, read on.

Even the sound of his alarm couldn’t steal Jason’s joy on Friday morning. He opened his eyes slowly, allowing them to adjust to the dull morning light filtering in through a space between his curtains, and smiled at the first thing he saw.

Nico, his peaceful sleeping face just inches from Jason. The two boys were close enough that they shared a pillow, making it no trouble at all for Jason to close the small gap and bestow a soft kiss on Nico’s lips.

“Rise and shine, Nico,” he chuckled, tracing the thinner boy’s bare shoulder with his fingertips.

“Fuck off, I’m still sleeping,” Nico complained, rolling over and grabbing the unused pillow beside him to cover his face with. 

Hearing Nico swear alerted Jason to something he had not realized immediately upon waking up. This morning, there was not a single stitch of fabric that could conceal Jason’s erection. _Oh well._

Jason tugged the other boy closer by his hips, which may or may not have resulted in Nico’s ass brushing against Jason’s dick. And that may or may not have caused Jason to moan

“You about done molesting me, Grace?” Nico sassed, peeking out from the second pillow momentarily.

“If you want me to stop, I suppose you could just say so,” Jason lowered his lips to Nico’s neck. “Although technically, I have a good twenty-five minutes before I need to be out the door.” He swiped his tongue over the skin.

Nico moaned in response and—whether it was voluntarily or not, Jason couldn’t tell—pushed his ass against Jason’s dick. “Jerk.”

“Love you, too,” Jason replied, adjusting Nico so their lips could connect for a longer kiss.

Nico took mercy on Jason’s particular morning issue and brought Jason to release with his hand while they kissed. Jason came, perhaps a little embarrassed that Nico had managed to get him off so quickly.

“Oh great, now the sheets will be sticky. I’ll have to strip the bed once you leave,” Nico sighed, though he didn’t seem too disappointed. Speaking of leaving though…

According to the clock, Jason had ten minutes to get dressed, eat, and get downstairs to meet Leo. “Shit, I need to get ready now.” He pressed his lips to Nico’s one more time. “And I did none of my homework that’s due today.”

“Oops,” Nico smirked, grabbing onto Jason’s hair and stopping him from straying too far. “Maybe you’ll just have to stay home today.”

Jason seriously considered taking him up on that offer. His adorable and very naked boyfriend wanted him to skip school? Yeah, Jason could think of a few ways he’d like to spend his day.

Which is exactly why he had to say no. “I can’t.” The truth was, Jason didn’t trust himself. He didn’t trust that in his current state, he could spend a whole day locked in his room with Nico and not try and have sex with him. Jason didn’t need that sort of temptation. He _would_ wait for Nico, but that didn’t mean he had to test his willpower all day. A day at school would certainly be the turn-off Jason needed.

Nico scowled at the blond. “You already got into Stanford, no need to be so studious now.” Jason simply shook his head and planted a quick kiss on Nico’s lips.

“I still have to keep my grades up. Stanford doesn’t want a slacker.”

“I can’t believe I’m in love with such a fucking nerd,” Nico grumbled with a half-hearted eye roll.

“Now who is the mushball?” Jason teased, wiggling his eyebrows at the younger boy.

“I’m going to hit you over the head with your physics textbook,” Nico threatened, though the smile tugging at his lips was an ill concealed one.

“Can it wait until after I get dressed?” He retorted. As the boys moved around the room to dress for the day, Jason could barely take his eyes off of Nico. Naked was certainly a good look on the guy. When Nico bent to open one of Jason’s dresser drawers, the blond had to tear his eyes away to stop himself from staring at Nico’s all-too-appealing ass. If he wasn’t careful, Jason was going to get horny all over again.

Once the two were dressed—okay technically Nico had just  put on his pajamas—Jason dragged him in for a final kiss.

“I have to pick up Chiron’s key after school today and then I’ll head over.”

“Key for what?”

Holy shit, between Nico’s picture in the paper and Stanford and the “I love yous” Jason had completely forgotten to tell Nico of his promise to Chiron. Nor had he come up with a plan on what to do with Nico while he watched the store.

“I forgot to tell you. Chiron asked me to be in charge of the store tomorrow. He’ll be out of town and he wants me to open and close the store and stay at his apartment overnight.”

Nico’s face fell a little. “Oh… So I’m here alone tomorrow? All day and all night?”

The way he said it made Jason immediately rule out even the slightest consideration of that option. “No, no. Of course not. I’m still trying to figure something out.”

“Well _that’s_ reassuring,” Nico chuckled, brushing a finger over Jason’s cheek absently. “I’ll see you when you get home.”

Jason smiled dumbly at his shorter, smaller boyfriend. “Love you.”

“You too.” Jason leaned in for another kiss. A bonus one. His fingers were just starting to move toward Nico’s hair when the younger boy stopped him by saying “Oh, and Jay… you were supposed to be downstairs three minutes ago.”

“Fuck.” Jason raced out of the room.

 

…

 

“So what are you going to do?” Leo asked as the two boys sat down in the cafeteria. “About this weekend, I mean.”

Jason pursed his lips. He couldn’t dare cancel on Chiron, but he also couldn’t expect Nico to stay locked up in their room for a day and a half. But was bringing Nico along any safer? And how could Jason even _get_ Nico there?

If only Jason had a car—

The idea struck Jason as he watched Leo bite into a slice of pizza. Maybe _Jason_ didn’t have access to a vehicle, but he knew someone else who did.

“Uh oh, you’re smiling at me weirdly. What are you plotting?” Leo asked, swallowing a lump of pizza.

“Leo, you still interested in helping keep Nico and me under the radar?”

“Well I am interested in you not ending up in jail if that’s what you mean,” his eyebrows furrowed, “Why?”

“Well…your mom doesn’t work on Saturdays. And I was thinking, maybe you could borrow her truck? Nico,” he lowered his voice as he said the name “would have a much better chance of travelling undetected in a vehicle.”

Leo pondered over that. “So you want me to use my mother’s pickup truck to transport you and your wanted criminal boy love from your apartment to Tribeca, risking my own neck in the process?”

“Well, when you put it like that—”

“I’m in.”

Jason’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

“Best friend code, man. Friends don’t let friends do stupid shit alone. Besides, I still need to get your love bug to warm up to me,” Leo stated, pointing his pizza slice at Jason.

The blond rolled his eyes. “He’s never going to if you keep calling him names like that.” Leo grinned wickedly and took a bite of food.

“But it’s how I show I care! Plus, everyone warms up to me, Jase. Eventually. Calypso is just days away from joining team Leo.”

“You’re such an idiot,” Jason sighed, even though he knew that Leo’s superior personality was just empty talk. “And stop talking with your mouth full, it’s gross.”

Leo shrugged and swallowed his food. “Whatever you say, Mother. What time shall I be picking you and your boycandy up in the morning?”

Jason resisted the urge to chide him again. Leo would be Leo. Besides, it was a safer alternative to throwing Nico’s name around the cafeteria for any and all to hear. “The store opens at nine, so pick us up at seven thirty. I think Annabeth is working in the shop tomorrow and I need you-know-who to be safe in Chiron’s apartment long before she gets there.”

“That’s as early as a school day!” Leo protested, “But I’ll do it.”

“Great! It’s a plan, then.”

“What’s a plan?” A familiar female voice asked. Jason and Leo both looked up and there stood Piper, a lunch bag in her hand and a hesitant look in her eyes. Immediately upon seeing her, Jason was hit with a mixture of feelings. Happiness primarily, that Piper was even talking to him. But hesitance, too. Jason could not be any more honest with her now than he could before, and he really didn’t want to argue with her again. Not on a day that had started on such a bright note.

“Piper!” He exclaimed, stalling for time. “Hey! How—how are you? I thought you weren’t talking to us.”

The girl shrugged. “Calypso is cool, and Kinzie too, but Khione and Drew are really irritating. I remembered why most of my friends are guys. But don’t think me talking to you right now means I’m not still angry at you.”

Jason’s shoulders slumped. “Well, do you want to sit down, anyway?”

“What’s a plan?” She repeated.

“Spring break next year,” Leo added, much to Jason’s relief. “I’ll be visiting Jason in California. _Someone_ got in to Stanford last night.”

A genuine smile passed over Piper’s lips. “Really? Jason, that’s great!” She took the seat beside him. “Did you tell Thalia yet?”

With a jolt, Jason realized that he actually _hadn’t_ told Thalia. He’d spent the entirety of his night in bed with Nico. Somehow, sharing the news with his sister hadn’t even crossed Jason’s mind.

“Not yet. I’m going to call her tonight, probably. I have no idea _how_ I’m going to tell my mother.”

Piper gave a sympathetic half-smile. “Well, if she freaks out at you and kicks you out, you’re welcome to come stay with us. Dad complains about never seeing you anymore.”

 _Can my renegade boyfriend come too?_ Jason thought.

“What about me? Does your dad miss me?” Leo joked. Piper gave him a look as if to say _“Do you really want me to answer that?”_

“Speaking of people who want to see more of Jason,” she said, changing the subject, “You should know that Khione thinks you’re hot. And she has it in her mind that you’re going to be her prom date. I think that’s the only reason she even spoke to me.”

Jason choked on his water. “Did you tell her that I’m gay?” Khione, the typical cheerleader rich ice princess type, liked _Jason?_ Jason preferred people with substance, particularly cute dark-haired pale types who liked to read and always had a snappy response ready.

Basically, Nico. Nico Nico Nico.

Even if Khione were a boy, though, Jason would never consider her. Shallow and spoiled wasn’t Jason’s thing in _any_ gender.

“I said that she wasn’t your type, but honestly I tried to speak to her as little as possible. She’s insufferable.”

“But hot,” Leo concluded. “Though not as hot as my lady, Calypso. Hey, you think she’d go to prom with me?”

“I doubt it. Calypso is pretty mature, no offense.”

“I’m mature!”Leo protested, cheese and crust flying from his mouth.

Jason gave a supportive thumbs up, Piper just shook her head.

“You know, we should talk about Monday. If we’re… if I’m going to let you off the hook, I think I deserve an explanation.”

And there it was. The elephant in the room had been addressed and Jason still had no answers to give her. “Pipes,” he sighed, “I know you deserve more definitive answers. But I literally _can’t_ talk about it.”

“What the hell have you gotten yourself into, Jase? And why tell Leo and not me?” She placed her hand over his.

“I—It’s just a tough situation with me right now, okay? I didn’t tell Leo anything, either. He found out. But trust that I’m not telling you for your own good. To protect you.”

“If you’re in trouble, I can’t just _ignore_ that.”

“I’ll be fine,” he told her, not knowing whether or not he actually believed that. “I don’t need you worrying about me, okay? In fact…” Jason’s next words felt like swallowing a knife. “You may be better off keeping your distance. Just for a little while.” If things did go south, Jason couldn’t bear to drag both of his friends down with him, and the more time Piper spent with Jason  the more likely she was to repeat Leo’s mistake and find out Nico’s whereabouts. Her knowledge would only put Nico even more at risk, not to mention paint a target on her own back. Jason wouldn’t—couldn’t let that happen. Piper could stay out of this altogether. All she had to do was step back.

“What?” She asked, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. “I—I don’t understand.”

 _Please don’t cry. Please._ Jason wanted to take all his words back. He wanted to hug Piper and pull her aside and tell her everything. But he couldn’t. He knew deep down that this was for the best.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be friends. I love you, Pipes. But this… thing. It could… you could get hurt.” He stared at his hands, unable to meet her eyes. The tears were too much. “I’m trying to help someone, but I can’t give you any more details. And if you can’t accept that, then it’s for the best that we spend some time apart. For your sake.”

“So what, you’re like Spider-Man now or something?” She drew back.

“Or something,” Jason murmured. 

“How can you expect me to just take that? With no explanations? Jase…”

“I’m sorry, Pipes. I’m so, so sorry.”

“Leo?” She squeaked. The Latino lowered his head.

Piper stood up. “Then I’m sorry, too. I can’t pretend that everything is normal when it isn’t. So I guess I’ll be leaving.”

“I hope after this is all over, we’ll be able to be friends again.”

“Yeah, me too.”

She left.

Jason and Leo were silent for the remainder of lunch.

 

…

 

“So, how early do you have to hit the road in the morning?” Jason asked as Chiron handed him a set of keys.

“I’m leaving at six in the morning, I usually wake up around that time anyway. And the wedding is in the afternoon.”

“Sounds like you’ll have a fun weekend.”

“I’m sure parts of it will be quite enjoyable. Although, between you and me, my sister's kind of a bitch,” he winked.

Jason chuckled. “Ah, then good luck.”

The bookseller smiled. “So this key,” he held up a small silver key with a green plastic border around the top, “is the spare key for my apartment. And then we have this one for the front door,” he indicated a similar key, this one with an orange border, “And this one locks the cash register, just in case,” he pointed out the smallest key. “Of course, you know my number if any problems come up. And the guest room is all stocked with towels and clean sheets.”

“Great, thanks Chiron.”

“No, thank you, Jason. I don’t think I could have asked anyone else. I’m afraid Annabeth would have tried to reorganize the entire store and my apartment if left to her own devices.”

They chuckled together this time. Everyone knew that Annabeth was a force to be reckoned with.

“And she’d have enough time left over to read three different biographies about Abraham Lincoln afterwards.”

The front door dinged as Leo popped his head into the store. “You about ready to go? My mom texted me and I need to buy her some Benadryl. The drugstore is on the way back to your apartment anyway.”

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Jason turned back to Chiron. “Enjoy your weekend, I’ll take care of everything here.”

“I know you will, Jason. Thank you.” Chiron returned to work.

Jason and Leo headed out together.

 

…

 

“Here we go, Benadryl. That was easy,” Leo held up the box with pride, as if he’d found something truly one of a kind.

“That all you needed?” Jason asked, eager to get home to Nico.

“That’s all she texted me about,” the other boy shrugged. They started toward the front of the store to check out, when Leo suddenly held out his arm to stop Jason. His eyes drifted down the new aisle they had happened upon and a sly smile danced over his lips. “Hey, Jase, you and Nico have condoms?”

Jason would have stumbled if he were still walking. He followed the Latino boy’s eyes to the nearest shelf, which was full of different colored boxes. Of course, the “family planning” aka condom section. His face reddened.

“I told you, we aren’t having sex.”

Leo snorted. “Yeah, not yet. But it seems to me like it’s only a matter of time. Sharing a bed, getting naked, blowjobs the L word. Plus, you told me on the way to school this morning that you’re horny all the time and want to have sex.”

“I should never have mentioned that,” Jason groaned.

“Too late, you did. Now come on, Leo Valdez is going to teach you the importance of protection.” He shoved Jason down the aisle.

Now, call him stupid, but Jason had no idea that something as simple as a condom could have so much variety. Different brands and sizes and thicknesses and features and—flavors? Actual flavored condoms. Somehow, Jason had figured that was just a fanfiction myth.

He glanced over his shoulder, paranoid and half expecting his mother or someone from school or who knew, maybe even Hades di Angelo himself to pass by. That would be just Jason’s luck.

“So,” Leo prompted, “what size do you need?”

“Excuse me?” Jason choked, turning to stare at his best friend.

“Well, the last thing you want is some condom that’s too big. Or too small.” This may have been the most awkward moment of Jason’s life. Seventeen years old, never had sex, never bought condoms, and now he was supposed to pick out the correct size while Leo breathed down his neck.

“You almost sound curious,” Jason teased, trying to play off his panic.

“Ugh, save it for your boy,” the shorter boy replied, crinkling his nose. “And FYI Jason, if you aren’t mature enough to buy condoms then you shouldn’t be having sex.”

“I’m not having sex!” Jason replied, only too late realizing that he has practically yelled and they were in a fairly busy drugstore.

“Yet,” Leo corrected. Jason slapped his forehead. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been considering the possibility over the last week, but thinking about sex and planning on having it were two separate things. And Nico hadn’t mentioned changing his mind about sex, so Jason didn’t bring it up. He wasn’t desperate enough to pressure his own boyfriend into having sex with him.

Still, it couldn’t hurt to be prepared if or when the situation came up, right?

“Fine, I’ll get some. But just… let me look in peace. Go to the candy aisle or something.”

“Hey look, these ones are performance enhancers,” Leo said, leaning in and examining a box. “Think you’ll need it?”

“Leo, I mean it. Get lost!”

“Fine,” he shrugged, backing away, “Have fun, Romeo.”

And then Jason was left to frown at all the damn condom boxes. Okay, he could do this. The first thing to do would probably be to figure out what size he needed. This, he noted, would have been a lot easier if Jason were the curious type. He knew some guys were always ready to brag about dick size, but Jason had never considered it too seriously. As long as the guy had a cute butt, their dick really didn’t matter to him. And as for his own, well… He’d never really taken a ruler to it, or whatever other guys did.

Hesitantly, Jason picked up a box of larger Trojan brand condoms. Trojan was a good brand, right? Did it actually make a difference? He examined the box, and then also picked up a box of the regular size.

Jason knew from stupid guy talk and from his sexual experiences with Nico that he was probably larger than average—well endowed, whatever. But was he big enough to need the large condoms? Would buying them make him seem cocky? (No pun intended)

But, if he really was large, then it would be stupid not to get that size. With an exasperated breath, Jason left the condom section with two boxes, one of each size. Leo, lurking around the bubblegum, quirked an eyebrow at Jason as he approached. “You planning on needing a lot? Ooh, magnums.”

“Shut up, Leo.”

What a mortifying day.

 

…

 

At some point during the afternoon, Nico fell back asleep. Going multiple days with barely any sleep may have been something past Nico was used to, but ever since moving in to Jason’s apartment, the teenager had become increasingly lazy.

He woke to a shifting of weight on the bed. “You went to bed without me?” The voice that Nico had grown so used to teased.

“Agh!” He screamed upon opening his eyes. Jason’s face hovered just inches above Nico’s, scaring the latter half to death. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Waking you up,” Jason smirked, tilting his face down and stealing a quick kiss. “I was debating letting you sleep some more because you looked so cute but I got impatient.” He blushed, which lessened Nico’s sleepy evil-eyes to mild irritation.

“When did you get home?”

“Oh, ten or so minutes ago. You must have _really_ been asleep.”

As a matter of fact, he had been. Even without Jason’s presence, Nico had managed to rest for several hours without a single nightmare. Maybe things actually were taking a turn for the better.

“Well, I’m awake now,” he nudged Jason away and sat up. “How was school?”

The blond’s smile wavered briefly, “Piper and I are still fighting. For a second I thought we might make up… It’s for the best though. I don’t want her to get hu—I mean, I don’t want to—”

“Endanger her,” Nico supplemented, his fingers and toes beginning to feel numb. “Kind of like how I’m endangering you?”

There went that turn for the better. Reality always had a way of creeping in and punching Nico right in the mouth. The fact was, even if they left for Stanford tomorrow, Jason and Nico could never be safe unless they cleared Nico’s name. And if they ever stood a chance at doing that, Jason would have to risk his neck again and again and—

“Hey,” Jason chided, “I know that look. Cut that out right now. I’ve made my choice.”

“Yeah, and it’s one so risky that you’re afraid you’ll drag your friends down with you. If only you cared about your own safety that much.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Piper doesn’t need to be involved because this has nothing to do with her. She has no reason to fight for this. I do.”

“I really hate you sometimes,” Nico frowned, cursing any god or angel or whatever was out there for making Nico fall for the world’s biggest self-sacrificing idiot.

“That’s okay, I’ve got enough love inside me for the both of us,” Jason proclaimed, scooting closer to the dark haired boy once again.

“Well, I think we split the crazy evenly,” Nico mused, bringing his lips to Jason’s.

 

…

 

Nico couldn’t name a single thing that had happened in the movie he and Jason were watching if his life depended on it. Of course, that may have been because the volume was so low it may as well have been on mute and Jason had Nico pinned between himself and the mattress.

That could have had a little something to do with it…

Nico wrapped his legs around Jason’s torso, pulling him closer. He was never close enough. Miraculous how the one thing that had always affected him so negatively in the past—physical contact—had become such a comfort. Jason’s hand brushing his wrist. Jason’s chest against his own. His lips trailing down Nico’s neck. Being close to Jason was like being wrapped entirely in a soft, warm blanket that no bad feelings could penetrate. Bliss. Pure, unadulterated bliss.

When they were like this, Nico could scarcely remember all the reasons he had to hate his life, to hate himself. And it wasn’t so much that Jason’s presence _healed_ Nico, either. Around Jason, Nico didn’t feel broken, he didn’t feel like he had any reason to needhealing. In fact, with Jason around, Nico felt powerful, hopeful, he felt full, period. Packed full with warm, gooey feelings.

And the other feeling, the one that wasn’t warm at all, but hot. Burning hot.

_Need._

Before Jason, Nico had nearly forgotten what lust felt like. Anger, fear, loss, anxiety, frustration, hopelessness, all of those had been his closest companions. But lust? Nico hadn’t dealt with lust…

A long, long time.

He remembered back to his earliest teenage years. The time when his father almost passed for a regular old abusive father instead of a full-blown sociopath, Nico had often spent time fantasizing about sex. Sex with guys in particular, though Nico could barely admit to himself that that was what he wanted back then. The summer after eighth grade, the first time he’d ever admitted to himself that he was gay, the summer of Luke, Nico had thought a lot about what it would be like to have sex. He’d jacked off more than he would ever admit, and he’d even taken it a step farther than that.

It’d been over a year and a half since Nico had touched himself _there,_ though. But Nico couldn’t help thinking of it now. Now that having sex with Jason was becoming more and more probable…

No, certain was more like it. Nico _wanted_ to have sex with Jason. He still knew it was unwise, and he hadn’t completely obliterated his nervousness either, but those feelings were overshadowed by the intensity of Nico’s wants.

Tonight wasn’t the night for that, but Nico knew that the night _would_ come (ironic choice of words, but whatever).

“I love you,” Jason mumbled against Nico’s collarbone. Nico twisted his fingers into the blond boy’s hair and smiled.

_Just be patient a while longer, Jay._

“Love you,” he whispered back.

 

…

 

“This is never going to work,” Nico declared as Jason held up one of his hoodies. He shoved the jacket away. “I’m going to get caught.”

Jason sighed. He’d told Nico the plan for getting to Delphi, which he’d considered a better alternative than leaving Nico all alone, but the dark haired boy seemed less than enthusiastic about the arrangement. Understandable, but Jason didn’t see many other options.

“The hood should cover your face enough, we just have to make it out the front door of the building, which you’ve done twice before,” Jason reminded gently. “Of course, I’m not going to make you do this, Nico. If you don’t want to do it, then that’s okay. But, you know I never would have even suggested this if I wasn’t confident nothing bad would happen to you.”

“I don’t know, Jay,” Nico mumbled.

“You can stay here, it’s okay,” Jason replied, placing the hoodie on the bed and reaching to brush his fingers through Nico’s hair. “You’ll have to be quiet for a long time, but I can come check on you after I close up Delphi. And maybe Leo could bring you some food around lunchtime.”

It definitely wasn’t what Jason wanted—the only thing that could be more nerve-wracking than taking Nico out of the apartment was leaving him alone for such a long period of time. If something happened to Nico, how would Jason even know?

It was Nico’s turn to sigh. “Hand me the hoodie.”

Had Jason heard correctly? He examine the shorter boy, his brows drawing together as in confusion. “What?”

“Staying here all by myself would get boring. No one to tease,” he said with a smirk.

Fuck, Jason could look at that damn smirk all day. He wanted to make love to that smirk. Except Leo would be arriving in the next ten minutes and Jason still had to get everything ready to go. “You can tease me all you want once we’re in the truck, I’m sure Leo will even help you.”

Nico made a face. “I’m still trying to figure out how you can tolerate that guy on a daily basis.”

“Oh, he’s not so bad. He’s only half as idiotic as he seems. Now come on, let’s make sure we’ve got all we need.

 

…

 

The second Nico cleared the front door, all possibility of getting oxygen disappeared. “Jason,” he squeaked, clinging to his arm. Jason used his unrestrained arm to stroke Nico’s cheek lightly.

“It’s okay Nico, no one is up this early on a Saturday. Here,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. “You can pretend to be texting while we walk, it gives you an excuse to have your head down.”

“Okay,” Nico mumbled, taking the cell phone after a moment’s hesitation. Maybe he should have just toughened up and stayed the weekend alone in Jason’s bedroom. It was certainly less risky, but it also meant less Jason.

Meaning it was hardly even a question. The only people in all of New York that Nico could talk to were Leo and Jason, and Leo hardly counted. Nico liked to get his human interaction when he could. Especially when that human was Jason Grace.

Nico loved him so much it was starting to feel pathetic. He needed to get a grip. A sixteen year old boy should not be so damn devoted to a guy they’d known for less than two months.

But when Jason locked eyes with Nico and gave a brief, reassuring smile, all the pessimistic thoughts melted like morning frost in the afternoon sun. The worry, the stress, the doubt, all gone. And Nico wondered how his love for Jason could be in any way negative when it made him feel this damn good.

“Remember, head down. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. You still want to do this?”

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Nico agreed. Their eyes locked again, this time somewhat awkwardly. Nico’s skin prickled with the familiar feeling of his oldest friend—embarrassment. Jason chuckled, relieving Nico’s mortification.

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

 

…

 

“You both made it here safely, a Christmas miracle,” Leo cheered as Jason and Nico slid into the cab of Leo’s mother’s truck. Unfortunately, the vehicle was not the type with two rows so all three of the boys had to sit together in the front. And, due to the importance of keeping him as unseen as possible, that left Nico wedged between Leo and Jason.

“You better fucking not get in a car accident on the way there. Or break any law of traffic that can cause us to get pulled over,” Nico stated, crossing his arms over his chest. Jason had not mentioned that Nico would literally have to brush shoulders with Leo.

“Not a morning person, Nicaroo?”

Nico nearly snapped his neck. In fact, he actually might have gone through with it if Jason’s wasn’t also in the vehicle.

“Just drive, Leo. Please,” Jason asked, polite as always. Nico pouted from his position in the middle as Leo started to drive.

“Hope everyone has their seatbelts buckled. I know you have no other options, but I’d like to take a moment to thank you anyway for driving with with Valdez Automotives today. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the inexplicable and never ceasing traffic.”

 _He’s completely nuts,_ Nico decided. He scooted closer to Jason, who grinned and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Nico leaned against the blond contently.

“Never would have pegged you for a snuggler, di Angelo,” Leo mused, watching the pair from the corner of his eye. “OH COME ON!” He yelled, suddenly  braking and pressing down on his horn.

“What part of us not being friends is so complicated to you, Leo?” Being out in the city, even in the relative safety of Leo’s truck, was nerve-wracking enough without Leo’s irritating personality. All Nico really wanted to do is squeeze Jason’s hand as hard as he possibly could and bury his face in Jason’s shoulder.

“Aw, I’m just trying to make conversation. Must get boring only talking to Jason and no one else… no offense, Jase.”

“Somewhat offended,” Jason replied, though he didn’t actually sound that hurt. He did, however, intertwine his fingers with Nico.

“I’m content, thanks,” Nico grumbled.

“You know, we could actually be friends if you’d give me a chance,” Leo said, honking on his horn again. Great, a teenage driver with road rage.

“Maybe if you’d stop calling me all the stupid names… Actually, probably still not then.”

Leo winked at the youngest boy, “We’ll see, Nico. I’m going to change your mind eventually.”

“Keep your eyes on the road and stop winking at my boyfriend,” Jason ordered.

“Remind me why I agreed to help you two, again?”

“And by that I mean, thank you for getting up early and driving us, stop winking at my boyfriend.”

“He’s no more my type than Khione is yours, my friend. Worry not.”

Nico frowned. Khione? As in Khione Winters? Where had that come from?

“Oh God, I’d nearly forgotten about that, thanks a lot Leo,” Jason groaned, rubbing his forehead.

“Am I missing something?” Nico asked, alternating between looking at the blond and the Latino boy.

Leo shrugged, “Nothing really, it’s just that apparently you’re not the only one with the hots for our boy Jason.”

“Ah, I see,” Nico replied, surprised to find he wasn’t the least bit jealous. It didn’t matter that Khione Winters was pretty, rich, and without a criminal record. She was also a female—and a bitchy one at that. Jason would never go for someone like that even if she was a guy. “She always struck me as kind of crazy.”

“The hot ones are always a little crazy,” Leo sighed. “Except for Calypso, she’s perfect, huh?”

Nico vaguely recalled the girl Leo was speaking of. After all, there were only so many Calypsos walking around. He didn’t think she’d ever actually spoken to him—though honestly, who had?—but Bianca had told Nico a few things about her. Perfect wasn’t the word that came to mind, more like perfectionist. Never a hair out of place, excellent grades, always dressed to impress. He almost chuckled at the thought of Leo following her around with a stupid lovestruck grin on his face. Uncouth, idiotic Leo had it bad for _her?_

Nico listened as Leo blabbed and blabbed about Calypso this and Calypso that. Calypso wore a red jacket to school yesterday. Calypso loved _The Great Gatsby_ so Leo planned to watch the movie so they could talk about it. (Nico decided not to tell him that Calypso probably had read the actual book). Calypso had older sisters but they were all a lot older than her and probably not as pretty. Nico couldn’t decide whether or not he wanted to slap Leo or smile. It was kind of cute, the way he talked about her.

“I mean, isn’t her hair the nicest color you’ve ever seen? I know you guys are gay, but come on, you have to appreciate her _hair._ You don’t see hair like hers every day.”

It was also annoying as hell. Though Nico had to admit, it provided a welcome distraction. Before he even knew it, Leo was pulling up in front of an older, greenish building with books on display in the windows and a sign that proclaimed they had arrived at Delphi Books.

“Oh, here we are. Wow, I wasn’t even paying attention,” Leo laughed.

“That’s reassuring,” Nico retorted.

“Thanks for this Leo, I’ll call you tomorrow so you can come pick us up, okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Always happy to help. You two have fun! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

“He acts like that narrows down our options,” Jason mumbled as he helped Nico down from the truck. Fortunately, the street was completely deserted. Maybe luck actually was on Nico’s side for once. Leo waved and drove off, and Nico, on reflex, waved back.

He lowered his hand immediately when he realized what he was doing, feeling his cheeks darken. There was no way that annoying guy was actually right about growing on people. Nico would never be friends with stupid obnoxious Leo Valdez.

That persistent little shit.

 

…

 

Jason got Nico settled up in Chiron’s apartment before heading downstairs to prepare to open the store. Annabeth arrived at eight thirty to help.

“Just us today,” she said as a greeting.

“Yeah,” Jason replied, sipping on a coffee he had gotten himself from the café portion of the shop. “You can start cash register, I’ll work café and customer service.”

Normally helping people find books was Chiron’s job. Even without a computerized system he could locate any book in his store right down to the shelf. Jason wasn’t quite there yet, but he knew more than Annabeth. Annabeth had never been the type to explore all that Delphi had to offer. She could name every single biography and informational guide the store carried, for instance, but could do no more than point in the general direction of the science fiction section. That was Annabeth for you, either a complete expert or totally oblivious with very little in-between. It was one of the things Jason liked most about her.

“That works, I’m trying to re-read the entirety of our high school English curriculum before we graduate. I forgot how irritating everyone in _The Crucible_ is. Such a tedious play.”

Jason wondered why she would re-read a book that she didn’t seem to like, but he’d given up on questioning the mind of Annabeth Chase in the fourth grade.

“Everyone was so caught up in their witch hunt that they allowed the only character who was actually evil to get away with her crimes. Abigail wrongly accused so many people, and they had to suffer for it.”

Annabeth’s words hit Jason like a crowbar to the face. Hades was Abigail Williams, crying witch against Nico for his own personal gain like Abigail had with Elizabeth Proctor.

And John Proctor, the man who dared to oppose Abigail…

… He’d ended up dead.

Jason swallowed the growing lump in his throat and shook his head. This wasn’t the time for cold feet.

Jason had his plan.

And he intended to go through with it.

Whatever the cost.

 

…

 

At one o’clock, Jason went on his lunch break. Rather than hanging in the café or the storage room like he usually would, Jason headed upstairs to check on Nico.

He found the dark haired boy sprawled out on the couch, novel in hand. “Hey,” he greeted, flashing an easy smile.

It was nice to see Nico somewhere that wasn’t Jason’s apartment. Chiron’s place was cozier, with muted blue walls and old appliances and aged hardwood floors. Even the beat up corduroy couch gave Jason the impression of being very lived in. And books were everywhere. Piled high on the tables, stacked in shelves beneath the TV, stabilizing a wobbly leg on the kitchen table, haphazardly placed on windowsills and in every corner of every room. It was fantastic. Chiron’s apartment wasn’t just an apartment, it was a home. A shabby middle-aged bookseller’s bachelor pad, but a home nonetheless.

Soon enough, Jason and Nico could get a place like this. Older, not so flashy, just a small little apartment between the two of them.

The dream was close enough for Jason to taste.

“Hey, you ready for lunch?”

“Sure,” He dropped the book he’d been reading on Chiron’s coffee table and started toward Jason. “You know, your boss owns even more books than you do. I didn’t think that was possible.”

“Hey now, I don’t own _that_ many books.”

“Over two hundred books isn’t that many?” Nico questioned, seating himself at the kitchen table.

“Hush,” the blond replied, pacing over to the younger boy to steal a quick kiss before turning to the fridge. “Let’s see what he’s got to eat.”

Chiron had no more food in his refrigerator than Jason’s on any given day, unfortunately. Jason nearly smacked his own forehead. He should have thought to get groceries. “Okay, so I’ll have to run and pick up some food after the store closes but for now we have eggs, some sliced ham, and cheese. How do you feel about omelets?”

Jason remained upstairs with Nico for his entire break. They ate their omelets—which really would have been better if Jason had some mushrooms or tomatoes to add—and then discussed the book Nico had picked up while Jason had been working, one of Chiron’s favorites, ironically: _The Count of Monte Cristo._

Even more ironically, another fucking story where someone gets wrongfully accused of a crime. Really, how many other works of fiction were going to remind Jason of Nico’s current predicament?

“I’ve already figured out the moral of the story,” Nico declared, smoothing his fingers over the novel’s worn cover.

“Oh, and what is it?”

“Never trust the French.”

Jason laughed. God, how had he made it through life for seventeen years without knowing this guy?

“What about, old people you meet in prison are always trustworthy, even if they’re a little crazy?”

“That too,” Nico conceded with a chuckle. “If I do get arrested, at least I’ll have something to look forward to, right?”

This time, Jason didn’t laugh.

 

…

 

“What were you doing up there all that time?” Annabeth asked when Jason finally came down at the end of his break.

“Cleaning,” he lied easily. “Chiron’s apartment is a mess. I’m trying to help him out.”

The blonde girl nodded, but something about the way she squinted at Jason for a second afterwards made him nervous. The awkwardness was interrupted by the arrival of a customer and Jason nearly sighed with relief. He let Annabeth go on break in the café and took up her place at the cash register.

The rest of the day was uneventful, save for the fifteen minutes around six-thirty that Jason was able to take a second break, which he certainly didn’t waste. Making out with Nico was the kind of thing that never got less exhilarating, though this time Jason couldn’t stop thinking about the two particular things he’d thrown into his overnight duffle bag—the condoms and his rarely used lube.

Jason didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary to go on between him and Nico later but, well, one could never be too safe.

After closing, Jason checked on Nico once more before heading to the nearest corner market to pick up a few groceries for dinner. Whether or not Jason had any plans of having sex in the near future, he still wanted tonight to be special. This was the first time that Jason and Nico had been somewhere alone together that wasn’t Jason’s apartment, which called for something a little more special than usual.

And if date number two went as well as date number one had, Jason felt confident that he’d be in for an… interesting night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, that chapter was difficult to write! Hope you guys enjoyed it though, even if it was a bit of a filler. Also, I would have had this chapter out way sooner, but I’ve been working on a special side-project/new multi-chapter fic that I will begin releasing this month. Also, I have another special Murder Suspect related one-shot that will be dropped later in the month, so all of you should keep a close eye on my Tumblr, Fanfiction, and AO3. I will be posting the stories on both FF and here on AO3 and of course I always put my links on Tumblr. Also, anyone who knows about and takes part in Jasico Saturdays, I'm going to try to be a part of the group chat this weekend, if I'm not to busy at my Speech and Debate tournament. Maybe we'll get to talk!
> 
> In the meantime, if you’re looking for more Jasico goodness to read, I suggest checking out That One Time by painteddread! It’s a really great story by a really awesome person :)


	19. What Happens In The Mystery Section... (Stays In The Mystery Section)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just an awful long wait and I am so sorry. For any of you guys who keep up with my stuff, you might understand why. A few weeks ago I posted the first chapter of my new fic When You Least Expect It, which you should all totally check out (Nico is a dance teacher for little girls and Jason is a smitten dork) and then I also posted the first half of a super special Murder Suspect prequel called The First Time which chronicles Nico’s summer with Luke. If you haven’t read that yet, you may want to consider reading it ASAP because I will be throwing in several references to things that happen in that prequel. The other reason for the long wait will maybe become clear after you read this chapter. That being said… Enjoy!

Nico hadn’t believed old book smell actually existed until spending a day at Chiron’s. Sure, Jason had some worn-out and aged books himself, but nothing compared to the mountains upon mountains in the bookseller’s possession. It wasn’t hard to imagine why Jason loved his job so much. The strange smell of books actually had a rather comforting effect, transporting Nico almost entirely into the world of literature.

Since everyone had long gone for the day and Jason still hadn’t returned from buying food, Nico wandered down the stairs to check out the store itself. New and used books alike lined the shelves with little distinction between one or the other. Some books only had one copy in stock, others had ten. The carpet beneath Nico’s feet was well worn and dark in color, somehow topping off the full feeling of the shop. The ambiance of the shop completely enveloped Nico.

He could imagine Jason working here, weaving through the different aisles and pulling out books, admiring all of the covers, giving recommendations to people whether or not they asked for any. This was a happy place for Jason—a sanctuary from all of the hypocrisy, evil, and stupidity of the outside world. Just being there, in Jason’s special place, bettered Nico’s understanding of the blond. And he loved him all the more for it. As far as sanctuaries went, this was a pretty nice one.

The door unlocked and a familiar blond slipped inside, carrying two large plastic bags.

_Speaking of safe, happy places…_

“Surely two people don’t need so much food,” Nico said, laughing as Jason jumped and nearly dropped the bags.

“Shit, Nico! You scared me,” he exclaimed, placing the bags gently on the floor. When did you come down here? I would have left more lights on or something…”

“I’ve just been down for a few minutes. I never got to look around much this morning.”

Jason left the bags and crossed to Nico. “And?” He said, wrapping his arms loosely around the younger boy, “What do you think?”

“I like it,” Nico told him, standing on his toes to leave a brief kiss on the blond’s lips. “Although, I cannot even begin to guess how these books are organized.”

“One part alphabetical, one part genre, one part Chiron being Chiron,” Jason shared, smiling down at Nico. “He’s kind of strange, I guess. But in a good way. You’d like him.”

Nico probably would like him, not that it mattered. Likely, the two would never meet. As great as the idea of clearing his name was, Nico understood deep down that it would take a miracle and a half to pull such a thing off. The boys had made almost no progress and the options that they had yet to explore were all long shots. The best Nico could actually allow himself to hope for was staying undetected, hiding from the cops for the rest of his life, staying with Jason for as long as he possibly could. The worst that could happen would be getting letters from the outside world while spending his life behind bars. Nowhere in either of those two options did meeting his boyfriend’s boss come into play.

Still, Nico smiled and said, “I bet I would.” He suddenly noticed a dampness seeping through his shirt. In the only partially lit store, Nico hadn’t initially noticed how water dripped from the blond’s hair and marked his shirt. “Uh, why are you all wet?”

“Started raining on my way back from the store. Luckily, I think the food all survived.”

“What a hero,” Nico smirked. “Now, you gonna tell me what food you brought back? I’m starving.” Starving, and hoping to change the subject before Jason noticed Nico’s subtle mood change…

“It’s all just basic stuff from the corner market,” Jason admitted. “I didn’t want to waste time cooking.”

“Unacceptable!” Nico cried. “Get out of the store! I can’t date someone as lazy as you! I am just appalled—”

“Hush,” Jason mumbled, pulling Nico in for a deep kiss. “Let’s go upstairs, I’m tired of wearing shoes.”

Nico snorted, “You’re so weird.”

“Says the boy who never has to wear shoes,” Jason grumbled. Each boy grabbed a bag and they headed up the stairs together. 

 

…

 

By the time Jason set his bag down on the kitchen counter, the mild rain had transformed into a full-on downpour. Thunder rumbled through the night. Through one of Chiron’s windows, Jason saw lightning flash in the distance.

“You got home just in time,” Nico noted, placing his bag beside Jason’s.

“No kidding.” Just walking home in the drizzle had been shitty enough. He couldn’t imagine being stuck out there.

“I remember,” Nico mused, leaning against the counter, “This one storm… while I was in the streets… not a fun time.” His eyes seemed to stare straight into the past.

Not wanting to let Nico worry too much over the past, he pulled the boy close and kissed his cheek. “Well I guess we will have to replace that memory with a better one, huh?”

“Oh yeah? What do you have in mind?” Nico asked, a smirk creeping onto his lips.

“Go downstairs into the store, okay? I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

“You’re not going to tell me what you’re planning?” Nico questioned.

“Nope, it’s a surprise.”

Nico looked skeptical, but gave in anyway after Jason bestowed a quick kiss on his lips. “Okay, fine. I’m going.” He pulled away from the blond and headed for the door.

“Oh, and Nico?” Jason called before he could get too far.

“Yeah?” Nico partially turned back to the taller boy.

“I love you.”

A grin fought its way onto Nico’s face, “Love you, too. Don’t take too long.” He exited the apartment.

 

…

 

Rain smacked against the store windows, almost louder than the thunder. Nico stood just two feet away from the front door, which would have been a lot more dangerous if anyone dared to brave the weather. Tribeca was quiet, only interrupted by the occasional passing taxi. Earlier in the morning, Nico had been too anxious about being out in traffic to appreciate the scenery, but now he finally took the chance to embrace the new view he had. For nearly two months, Nico had spent his days staring at the same damn view out of the same damn window—only able to look at his city from above. The two outings he had made during his time at Jason’s were not exactly scenic trips either. But this—New York from the ground, this was something Nico missed dearly. He only wished the rain would let up enough for him to enjoy the opportunity fully.

Turning away from the window, Nico wondered idly what Jason’s idea of a few minutes was. It had probably been ten minutes since Nico had descended the stairs into Delphi and the goofy blond hadn’t made an appearance yet.

Nico hadn’t turned the lights on when he came down. Partially because he didn’t want to call unnecessary attention to the store, but also because the darkness was kind of comforting to Nico. As a kid, he’d never feared the dark, but tried to hide in it. Part of him had hoped that he could disappear into the darkness and Hades would never be able to find him. Nico felt secure while surrounded by the blackness. Whenever he found himself alone, it was there as a gentle caress, an old friend.

With all the noise from the rain, Nico did not hear the sound of Jason’s footsteps. If he hadn’t been looking in the general direction of the stairs, the older boy’s approach would have gone completely unnoticed.

In the limited light, Nico saw Jason plagued with items, a basket, a blanket, and something he was holding that couldn’t be discerned due to the darkness. “I figured we could eat down here,” Jason declared, placing the basket and blanket on the ground and fiddling with the thing in his hand.

A new glow bathed the room around Jason and Nico realized that the object Jason had brought with him was a vintage style camping lantern. “Did I mention that Chiron is a bit of a camping enthusiast?”

Nico started toward the light. He now saw that the basket was a traditional wicker picnic basket, so incredibly typical that Nico couldn’t help but smile. A dark red comforter rested at Jason’s feet. “The blanket is actually just the one from the guest room. Chiron doesn’t have any good picnic blankets. But uh, what do you think? Impromptu indoor picnic at almost ten o’clock at night in a bookstore?”

For a minute, Nico thought of another picnic, another blond boy, another charming smile. Then he banished the thought as quickly as it had come. After all, Jason had said tonight was about making better memories to replace the old ones, right?

“I think it sounds great,” he said. “I mean, you’re a huge clichéd cheese ball, but I’m willing to look past that.”

“In that case, follow me,” Jason said, throwing, where the names on the shelves read Dan Brown and Wilkie Collins and Agatha Christie and Stieg Larsson and James Patterson. Nico had seen many of the books before on Jason’s own shelf.

“Mystery section?” He guessed.

Jason smiled bashfully, “This place may be no Barnes and Noble but the mystery section kicks ass. It has current stuff all the way back to the Victorian mystery writers, and it’s my favorite spot in the store.” He placed everything at his feet.

Nico’s heart filled with fondness, watching how Jason ran his fingers over the spines of the books surrounding them tenderly. The blue-eyed boy breathed deeply, then picked up the red blanket and rolled it open, splaying it across the worn carpet between the two shelves. He sat the picnic basket down on top of it and left the lantern slightly to the side, where its yellowish glow cast shadows across nearly everything. Not exactly a romantic candlelit dinner, but Nico didn’t  care. Besides, candles and books together seemed like a bad idea.

“I went really gourmet tonight,” Jason boasted, sitting down crisscross on the comforter. Nico did the same while Jason reached into the basket and withdrew two wrapped sandwiches. “Would Mr. di Angelo care for a specially made BLT?”

Nico accepted the sandwich, stealing a kiss in the process. He placed the sandwich beside him and then took Jason’s face in his hands, kissing him with more fervor this time. Jason broke off the kiss sooner than Nico would have hoped.

“Eat first,” he said, “I put a lot of work into laying bacon, lettuce, and tomato between two slices of bread. Plus, we can’t skip out on the Oreos for dessert.”

“Oh no, not the Oreos!” Nico gasped in horror, returning to his earlier seated position nonetheless and taking up his sandwich.

Jason and Nico kept up light, happy conversation throughout the first part of their meal. Nico had made it over three hundred pages into _The Count of Monte Cristo,_ which wasn’t even one-third of the way through the massive novel.

“I have the abridged copy at home, but you’ll probably want to keep reading the full length version. It’s better anyway. I can buy you a copy. Or maybe Chiron will let me borrow his.”

“Thanks,” Nico said, though the idea didn’t excite him as much as it should. _Just put it on my tab,_ he thought.

Jason noticed immediately. Damn him. “What’s wrong?”

“I just wish I wasn’t such dead weight. You pay for all the food, you bought my clothes, you’re going to buy me a book… All I have to give you is this stupid relationship that you can’t even tell one of your best friends about.” Jason opened his mouth to protest but Nico stopped him. “I know, I know, you don’t care about that stuff, but I do.”

“It’s okay to accept help from people, Nico,” Jason said softly, brushing the boy’s cheek.

“I literally can only give you myself and a shitload of baggage in return,” Nico reminded.

“What’s that Beatles song? All you need is love?” He scooted closer.

Nico blushed, shoving Jason away. “You’re so annoying.”

“Oh, you say the sweetest things, babe.”

“Babe?”

“I was trying it out. No?”

“Definitely not,” Nico replied, hating the way that Jason could so easily distract him. It was nearly impossible to stay agitated with this guy. Jason flashed a toothy smile and moved closer to Nico once again.

“How about… you pay me back with kisses? Lots and lots of kisses.”

“But Jay,” Nico asked, “what about those very important Oreos?”

“They can wait,” he mumbled, springing across the blanket and planting his lips on Nico’s. The younger boy released a surprised sound at Jason’s sudden enthusiasm but kissed back nonetheless, twisting his fingers into Jason’s hair. Both boys had longer hair now, though Jason’s was nowhere near as long Nico’s. Still, it was enough for Nico to get quite the hold on. Jason hovered over Nico, his knees on either side of the latter’s legs. However, they weren’t close enough in this position for Jason’s taste, apparently. The blond switched to a sitting position, guiding Nico onto his lap. Now their chests were pressed together and Nico was seated in a way that he could feel the beginnings of Jason’s arousal.

That horny, horny boy. Nico smirked to himself. Jason had been overwhelmingly good—respecting Nico’s boundaries when he so clearly wanted sex. Nico wasn’t dense, he knew Jason wanted to take their relationship to the next step.

His stomach fluttered at the thought. The only thing preventing them from going there was Nico himself. Part of it was his nerves over losing his virginity… but wasn’t Jason a virgin too? Nico also feared that sex would bring them too close, complicate things too much…

But weren’t they already at that point? Nico _loved_ this guy. Wholeheartedly. He kissed Jason harder.

Nico shouldn’t have been thinking of sex at a time like this. He had bigger things going on. His future, his name, his relationship, everything was on the line if Nico couldn’t prove his innocence. Bianca’s murderer walked the streets as a free man while Nico hid away like a small, timid animal. Convicting Hades, that was what Nico needed to throw all of his focus into. He could consider sex after this nightmare was done with.

Except… what if it was never done with? The police could bust in and find Nico next month, next week, tomorrow. The only time that was guaranteed to Nico was the present.

And at present, love and desire filled Nico’s entire body, coursing through his veins like blood. He began to move against Jason, letting their bodies rub together without ceasing the kissing.

Jason had a firm grip on Nico’s hips, encouraging the dark haired boy’s movements.

“Fuck,” Jason took a shaky breath. His lips moved to Nico’s neck where they left a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses.

“We always seem to end up here, don’t we?” Nico mumbled wrapping his legs tightly around the blond.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jason chuckled, suddenly flipping the boys so quickly and so gracefully that Nico had to wonder how he could have possibly done it. His back gently hit the comforter and Jason hovered over him, supporting his weight on his knees mostly. A relief, since Nico had no doubt the blond could crush him if he tried. “Here is where we always end up,” the blond corrected with a wicked grin.

Somehow, Jason had managed to maneuver them without unlocking Nico’s legs from around his hips. Jason took the lead this time, grinding against Nico with a slow intensity that had both boys breathing hard. Nico admired the gorgeous face above him, his heart practically doing backflips. Jason. Jason Grace. What a beautiful, wonderful, stupid boy.

There wasn’t a thing in the world that Nico didn’t want to experience with him. And he knew exactly where he wanted to start. They were alone, in a new place, in Jason’s favorite place, seemingly removed from the rest of the world.

The thought of waiting any longer seemed suddenly ridiculous to Nico. He’d set the boundary, and it was his job to remove it. “I want you,” he murmured against Jason’s lips as the blond kissed him. “Fuck, want you so bad.”

“I know, me too,” Jason replied, kissing Nico again. The latter shook his head.

“No, I mean I _really_ want you. All of you.”

“Are you saying—Like, you mean, you want to have sex?”

“Actually, I want the deed to your apartment _yes_ I mean sex,” Nico replied, trying to conceal his nerves.

“But I thought—I mean you said…”

“I know what I said. But I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or any day after that. I could be taken away from you at any moment, Jay. Right now, we’re here and we’re together. And right now I want this so badly I can barely think straight. So fuck what I said before, things are different now.”

Jason cupped Nico’s face in his hand and molded their lips together. Carefully, he lowered his body more, so Nico could feel a portion of Jason’s weight on him. “Okay,” he whispered against Nico’s mouth. Nico could practically feel his smile.

“That didn’t take much convincing,” he teased, kissing the blond again.

“Did you expect it to?” Jason replied, moving against the younger boy for emphasis.

“I don’t know, like, I get the impression that you _might_ want this.” Only with Jason could Nico feel so calm about something like losing his virginity.

“Maybe… you know, a little.”

“Then I guess we should go upstairs.”

Jason smirked and shook his head. “No, here. Let’s do it here.”

“ _In_ the store?” Nico’s eyebrows shot up almost to his hairline.

“Hey, it’s my _favorite_ place,” Jason retorted. “Plus, I am not carrying all this shit back upstairs right now.

“Fine, I’ll succumb to your kinky little fantasies.”

They kissed yet again, and this time neither of them were eager to end it. Only when Nico decided to pull Jason’s shirt up over his head did the boys break the embrace. He started to pull off his own shirt too, but Jason stopped him.

“I get to take your clothes off,” he declared, his cheeks flushing slightly. Nico felt warm as well, but he allowed the blond to do it.

“I don’t want to rush this,” Jason added, setting aside Nico’s shirt. “And if anything hurts or even makes you feel uncomfortable you have to tell me, okay?”

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll just punch you really hard,” Nico retorted.

Jason didn’t laugh. “I’m serious, Nico.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll tell you.”

“Good,” he took hold of Nico’s hips. “Then I want to take these off too.” He traced his finger over the waistband of Nico’s pants. Nico lifted his lower half and allowed Jason to pull the fabric down his body.

Once Nico was down to his boxer-briefs, Jason’s lips moved to the newer places, laying kisses on his shoulders and across his chest. Nico shivered slightly, enjoying the new contact. These kisses weren’t wild or messy, but sweet and chaste. “You’re such a s—sap,” he told the blond in a breathy voice.

“Shhh, I’m claiming all my kisses,” he joked, his lips brushing against the skin covering Nico’s ribs. Quickly, he snuck up and pressed a series of real kisses to Nico’s lips.

“If kissing is all you want…” Nico replied, a wickedness to his tone. “I can think of something that you, uh, might like better.” Fuck, trying to be seductive wasn’t as easy as people made it look. Only with Jason, who Nico felt totally comfortable with, would Nico even think to talk this way. As it was, he could barely stop his embarrassment from making itself known on his face. Jason quirked an eyebrow at the young boy, slowly backing off.

“What would that be?” Jason inquired.

Nico tried to remember how he’d acted the previous weekend. The way he had taken control had seemed to turn Jason on a lot, and Nico wanted Jason to get as much enjoyment from this night as possible.

In answer, Nico nudged Jason to get off of him. The blond backed away, only for Nico to push him into the same position Nico had just been in.

“Think you’ll be able to get hard a second time?” Nico undid the button on Jason’s jeans and slid down the zipper.

“Hell yes,” was Jason’s dignified response, trying to kick out of his jeans before he’d even finished speaking.

Nico still wasn’t by any means a master of blowjobs, but he figured giving head was like an art, and the longer he practiced it, the more his hard work would pay off. For now though, he just settled for wrapping his lips around Jason’s dick and taking as much of it into his mouth as possible. His size still intimidated Nico somewhat, even if he knew Jason wouldn’t intentionally do anything to hurt him… Still, it was a lot just to get in Nico’s _mouth_ , and that hole was a lot bigger than the one Jason would be sticking his dick in later.

No, those thoughts would not bother Nico any more tonight. Was he nervous about what was to come? Obviously. Did that make him want it less? Not really. It wasn’t like Nico hadn’t _known_ what he was asking for. Hoping to shake his little anxieties, Nico threw all of his energy into making the boy before him fall apart.

 

…

 

It was almost unfair. No one should be able to look that innocent and adorable with a dick in their mouth. Yet there was Nico, so unintentionally appealing in every little motion he made. Jason’s heart filled with unadulterated fondness for the dark haired boy. Part of him wanted to beg for Nico to keep going, while the other part wanted to kiss him absolutely senseless.

However, he didn’t do either. He merely sat there, watching Nico’s head bob up and down on his dick in amazement. It took a lot of willpower not to thrust into the younger boy’s mouth, but Jason managed to resist. That definitely fell under the category of “things that could harm Nico or make him uncomfortable.” Jason didn’t like getting his dick sucked enough to intentionally make Nico gag on it.

Besides, Jason found himself _plenty_ stimulated. Already it was almost too much for him. The combination of the warmth and the wetness and Nico’s damn adorable face was enough to make Jason moan loudly. Thank God they had started with this, Jason thought. Otherwise, he doubted that he would have been able to last even a minute when he actually was inside of Nico. And well, Jason had goals. He wanted Nico to be able to feel as much pleasure as Jason when they actually did have sex. That wouldn’t happen if he came before Nico could even become accustomed to the feeling of having Jason inside of him.

God, Jason had never felt more conflicted about his own virgin status. On the one hand, he couldn’t imagine anyone else he’d rather share his first time with than Nico. On the other, he wished he had more experience in this area. Relying on the internet wasn’t exactly a comfort to Jason. Especially not when making a mistake could mean hurting Nico and potentially making him change his mind about the whole sex thing.

As he neared his climax, he did manage to mutter out a warning. As predicted, Nico didn’t pull away. Instead he stroked Jason’s hips and abdomen, practically encouraging the blond’s orgasm. He glanced up at Jason while diving down particularly far on his dick, and Jason lost it. He spilled down Nico’s throat, legitimately shaking with pleasure.

“Shit, Nico,” he sighed, biting down on his lip. Just watching the dark haired boy wipe the small amount of come that he hadn’t swallowed with the back of his hand was already starting to make Jason hard again. Whether Jason’s quick erection turn-around time had to do with Nico in particular or just being a sex hungry teenage boy, he didn’t know.

Jason grabbed a water bottle, which had been shoved to the side along with all of the other picnic things, and took a swig. He offered the bottle to Nico, who rolled his eyes and accepted. “Thanks.”

Once Nico lowered the bottle from his lips, Jason was waiting to kiss him. He couldn’t get sick of the way it felt to kiss Nico. He pulled the boy so close that their chests were flush together and kissed him deeper. This action put Nico more or less back on Jason’s lap, which his dick was definitely interested in. Still, Jason knew that no amount of kissing and blowjobs would actually prepare Nico for what they had decided to do. So, without breaking contact with Nico’s lips, Jason extended his arm and drew the picnic basket closer with the tips of his fingers. Maybe Jason hadn’t known this was going to happen per se, but he’d prepared for multiple possible outcomes. He flipped open the top of the basket and began to blindly fumble for one particular object. After awkwardly shoving things around for a few seconds his fingers closed around the bottle of lube. Whatever God was out there, Jason thanked Him for the gift of foresight.

“Tell me you aren’t getting an Oreo,” Nico mumbled against Jason’s lips.

“I’m not.” He moved his mouth away from the other boys and hesitantly showed him what he’d been grabbing for.

“You put lube in the picnic basket?” Nico asked incredulously.

“I am a very optimistic person,” Jason explained. “Condoms, too.”

“I think you planned this.”

“That would be giving me far too much credit.” They entered into a somewhat awkward silence. Jason had never prepared someone before, never even thought about fingering himself. But, it wasn’t like he could just shove his dick into Nico right away.

“Uh, have you… have you ever…” He held up the lube.

Nico’s cheeks reddened. He answered without meeting Jason’s eyes. “Yeah. A long time ago.” The mental image of Nico fingering himself nearly made Jason groan with pleasure, until he considered what… or _who_ had prompted Nico to start in the first place.

He decided not to think about that too much. Tonight was Jason and Nico. Nico and Jason. What had happened with Luke was in the past.

“Can I—”

“Yes,” Nico replied without hesitation before Jason could even finish his sentence. Their eyes locked on each other and Jason decided to give a gentle, reassuring smile.

He popped the cap on the bottle and squirted some of the lube into his hand. “I love you,” he whispered, pecking Nico on the lips.

“You gonna be a mushball all night or are you gonna do something with that lube, Grace?” Nico teased, raising an eyebrow at Jason.

“Get on your back,” Jason ordered, grinning like an idiot. Nico complied, a mocking smile on his lips.

 _Fuck._ Nico looked so good like that. Laid out beneath Jason, completely nude, smirking at Jason like he’d finally realized the power of his own seduction. Jason wasted no time in coating his fingers with the gel-like substance. “This will probably sting a little, and it might feel cold for a second.”

“Jay, it’s okay.” Nico curled his fingers around Jason’s wrist and eased his hand downward. “I trust you.”

“I know,” Jason whispered. As a distraction, he began placing multiple kisses on Nico’s abdomen. Then, bent over him and still kissing, Jason lined up his finger with Nico’s hole and gently pushed in. The younger boy tensed slightly, but relaxed after a moment.

“I’m okay,” he promised. “Just takes a few seconds to get used to.”

Shit, Nico was so _tight._ Jason suddenly had doubts about them having sex before sunrise. How would his dick fit inside of something so small? He moved his finger in slow, careful movements, allowing Nico to adjust to the intrusion, while continuing with the kisses across Nico’s stomach.

Experimentally, Jason pressed his finger against Nico’s walls. If he could only find his prostate…

They continued for a minute and Nico became noticeably more comfortable. “You can add another finger,” he prompted softy. Jason did so before leaning down to lay kisses on Nico’s pale chest. He moved his fingers in a scissoring motion. That was what he was supposed to do in this situation, right? Nico seemed to like it, though. Once he adjusted to the stretching, he gave a breathy sigh.

Jason could feel Nico’s erection against his chest and decided to give it a little attention too. He licked a stripe from the base all the way to the tip and wrapped his lips around it. Nico moaned loudly and Jason decided that was his new favorite sound in the world. Nico’s pleasure from the combination of the fingers and the sucking had made Jason completely hard again. Getting Nico off was almost more pleasurable than actually getting off. He added a third finger, but slowly. Nico fidgeted uncomfortably but didn’t tell Jason to stop. So, while taking even more of Nico into his mouth, Jason started thrusting in with all three fingers. He made sure to keep it slow, allowing Nico to properly adjust to the different feeling. Had Nico ever used three fingers when he fingered himself?

Almost by accident, Jason’s fingers thrust at an angle and pressed against a certain place inside of Nico that elicited a beautiful sounding moan from him. _Oh._ Jason must have hit his prostate. He enthusiastically tried to press against that spot again.

“Jay, gods…”

He managed to draw several more moans from Nico before Nico spoke up. “St—stop.”

Jason pulled off of Nico’s dick immediately and carefully withdrew his fingers, “What? What’s wrong?”

“I’m was about to come, you idiot. I was under the impression you actually wanted to _have_ sex.”

“Oh,” Jason exclaimed, relief washing over him. He hadn’t fucked up. He’d done something _right._

“Don’t be so cocky,” Nico rolled his eyes, but Jason could see him biting a smile.

“I thought—”

“If you make a dick joke, I’m putting my clothes back on.”

Jason laughed and reached for the condom box. Before coming downstairs, he’d went ahead and tried on one of the damn Magnum condoms.

It had fit him.

Now, he pulled out another one, and this time he didn’t just plan to try it on.

 

…

 

Nico eyed the condom, his mouth going dry. His near-orgasm just a minute ago seemed like a distant memory. Reasonably, Nico knew that he had no reason to get scared now. He and Jason were in this together. And, if the way he had felt earlier was any indication, the pain would eventually have a pay off. Maybe not the first time, but Nico could live with that. What mattered was that he and Jason were taking this step.

“You want to do the honors?” Jason asked, raising a brow at Nico.

“You can do it,” he said. Truth be told, Nico did not need another reminder of how big Jason’s dick was before it entered him.

The situation was almost comical. Most gay guys would probably die to get fucked by someone Jason’s size. Nico, however, was an intimidated as fuck virgin. And a fairly small one at that.

At the same time, Nico wished Jason would just put the damn condom on and do him already. His brain was hesitant, but his body practically sang Jason’s name.

It was a contradiction, to be sure.

Jason opened the packet and withdrew the condom. After a second of staring at it, Jason began to roll it onto his erection.

This was actually happening. Nico could scarcely believe it, even after all they’d done together that night alone. He handed Jason the lube and the blond took it, smiling almost shyly at Nico.

“Will you be comfortable on the floor?” Jason questioned,  “I should have brought pillows or something.”

Nico sensed a long night of Worrying-Jason ahead. “I’m fine. We don’t need pillows.”

They just kind of looked at each other.

“So…” Jason prompted.

“So…” Nico could only repeat. Should he lie back on the blanket? Or like, spread his legs? It all felt so awkward. Nico was waiting for Jason to lead, and if he had to guess, Jason was waiting for Nico to give the go-ahead.

“Well, we’re totally not awkward at all,” Nico chuckled, laying his hands on Jason’s face and kissing him.

“Never,” Jason chuckled, curling his fingers into Nico’s hair. “You sure about this?”

“Yeah,” Nico whispered, leaning back and pulling Jason after him, “Positive.”

Jason helped to position Nico’s legs. Then, with great care, he lined himself up and slowly thrust in.

 

…

 

Heaven. The second Jason entered Nico, the warmth and tightness sent him straight into heaven. However, the euphoria was short-lived. Before Jason could even get in past the head, Nico was hissing in pain.

“Fuck, ow,” he exclaimed. Jason didn’t move a muscle. _Shit._ He wished this part didn’t have to happen. The discomfort on Nico’s face was almost enough to make Jason want to never try this again.

“Do you want me to stop? We don’t have to—”

“It’s fine. Just, go slow. My body needs time to adjust.” Jason nodded, but didn’t try to push in any farther. Nico rolled his eyes. “Slow, Jay, not a complete standstill.”

Hesitantly, Jason pushed in two inches farther. Nico dug his fingernails into Jason’s shoulders and clenched his jaw. “Why does your stupid dick have to be so damn big?” Nico groaned.

Even though Jason’s mind registered that he shouldn’t be enjoying any part of something that caused Nico pain, his dick had other ideas. It wanted nothing more than to thrust all the way in and enjoy Nico’s ass for all it was worth. Were all asses so tight? Was it because Nico was a virgin? Or was Nico just naturally tight as hell? If the last one was true, Jason was either the luckiest or the unluckiest bastard in all of Manhattan.

“I love you,” he said, almost like a promise, pecking the boy on the lips. Nico’s dick had softened since Jason thrust in, so he decided to jerk it a few times. Nico didn’t moan, but it did seem to relax him slightly. “That’s it, Nico. Relax for me.”

“It’s hard to relax with a dick in my ass,” he said in a snippy voice. Jason kissed him again.

“I’m sorry. Just hang in there, I promise it won’t hurt forever.”

“Stupid promise,” Nico mumbled, grazing his fingers over Jason’s chest.

“Focus on the emotional part,” Jason suggested, surprised he could even talk while inside of such a wonderful ass. “We’ve never been more together than this, right?”

“Right,” Nico grudgingly agreed. Jason pushed in a tiny bit more, trying to repress a pleasured sigh.

“And we love each other, right?”

“Right.”

Another little thrust and Jason was halfway in. Nico started to tense so Jason jerked his dick again and placed a kiss on his lips. “And you still want to be with me? And go to California?”

“Yes.”

“Focus on that,” Jason said. “This is just us taking our relationship to a whole new level. _Fuck,_ ” he had pushed in a little farther and the sounds of pleasure could scarcely be hidden anymore.

“Good to know _you’re_ enjoying yourself,” Nico mumbled.

Jason’s heart clenched. “Do you want me to stop? I can really stop.”

A strong headshake from Nico. “You don’t need to stop. It doesn’t hurt as much as before. How far in are you?”

Jason told him.

“Christ, Jason. Okay, just keep going.”

“Still love me?” Jason chuckled nervously.

“Yeah, I still love you, too.” Jason moved in a few more inches. Nico hissed through his teeth once again. “Ah, my ass is probably going to be killing me later, but I love you.”

After another two dragging minutes, Jason had thrust in as far as he could go. “That’s all of it,” he promised.

Nico exhaled through his nose and shut his eyes. “Oh, that’s all,” he muttered, not even hiding the sarcasm.

Jason could barely focus at this point. _Don’t move don’t move don’t move,_ he repeated like a mantra to himself. Fuck, staying still was so difficult. Even in his wildest fantasies, Jason hadn’t imagined being balls deep in Nico would feel so damn incredible.

“You’re so tight, holy shit,” he couldn’t help but say. “Fucking hell.”

“Yeah, I noticed.”

“Right, sorry.”

Nico gently brushed a finger over Jason’s lips. “It’s okay. It’s kind of hurting less now, if you want to try moving.”

Jason decided to keep it small, pulling out not even halfway and then slowly thrusting back in. Nico did not tense up or hiss in pain, but he certainly wasn’t experiencing the same pleasure as Jason. Still, Jason continued. The next few thrusts were similar to the first. After a minute, though, he tried withdrawing even farther and pushing in at the same place.

Nico nodded for him to continue.

“How do you feel?” Jason asked.

“It’s different, definitely bigger than fingers. But—ah,” he gasped slightly as Jason pushed back in, but this time it didn’t sound like it was out of pain, “Good.”

Jason only hoped he could make Nico feel better than good before he came. Not wanting to blow too soon and leave Nico hanging, the blond curled his fingers around Nico’s dick and began to jack him off. The boy beneath him gave an appreciative sigh.

Then a miracle happened. Jason’s next thrust managed to hit Nico’s prostate. “Oh fuck,” he moaned. “D—do that again.”

Jason tried to imitate the movement, and managed to hit the same spot again a few thrusts later. Nico’s moan was even more beautiful than before. Jason swore he could come from the sounds Nico was making alone. Almost without noticing it, he’d picked up his pace considerably, but if Nico minded he hadn’t said anything.

Nico kept his legs wrapped around Jason, and dug his fingernails into the blond’s back. More than likely, Jason would have little crescent shaped marks on his shoulder blades later. The thought only turned Jason on more. Shit, Nico needed to come _soon._ It hadn’t even been five minutes since he’d actually started moving cand Jason didn’t think he would last until then. He switched to bigger thrusts, pulling almost all the way out before pushing back in, trying to hit Nico’s prostate as much as he could—which really, was only about a third of the time. Meanwhile his hand was unrelenting. Lucky for them that they were doing this with no one around because Nico didn’t make any attempt to keep quiet, and honestly Jason didn’t either.

“Shit, shit, you feel so good Nico. Love you so fucking much.”

“Jason! Fuck!” Was Nico’s oh so eloquent response.

Nothing had ever felt so good. Jason knew that for a fact. He couldn’t believe he’d made it over seventeen and a half years of his life without this in his life. Though, he supposed he had to wait that long to meet the right person, curled up on the ground in that cold, dirty alley.

And it shouldn’t have felt beautiful. It was messy and unpracticed and they were just two horny teenagers going at it on a blanket in the middle of a bookshop.

But somehow, it was the most beautiful moment of Jason’s life.

 

…

 

One more thrust to the prostate and Nico lost it. He came all over his stomach and Jason’s hand. Judging by the sounds Jason made, he assumed that the blond followed just seconds behind. However, he continued thrusting through his orgasm before practically collapsing on top of Nico. He may have complained about how heavy Jason was, if he could actually speak.

Nico was a thousand percent sure he’d be sore in the morning, and five thousand percent sure it’d be worth it. Sure, the actual pleasurable part had been only a few minutes, but nothing was stopping Jason and Nico from doing it again. And again. And again.

And again.

Speaking of which… Jason’s dick was still very much inside of him. Jason, also seeming to realize this, managed to lift himself off of Nico and slowly pull out. When the boys were separated, Nico felt horribly empty. Even when it hadn’t felt too fantastic, being connected with Jason in that way had been wonderful from start to finish. They’d reached a new high in their relationship, one that Nico never wanted to come down from.

Jason removed the condom and tied it off. There was nowhere to properly dispose of it so he just blushed and set it aside. He also wiped off his hand on his t-shirt, which he would probably regret later. Nico grinned wildly at him and beckoned him closer. The blond fell back and laid down right next to Nico, his breathing still uneven. “That was…” Jason didn’t finish the sentence.

Nico climbed on top of him and placed kiss after kiss on the blond’s lips. “You know, I’ve realized something tonight,” he shared.

“What’s that?” Jason inquired, tenderly tracing his fingers down Nico’s arms.

“I’m an idiot for not initiating this a month ago,” Nico exclaimed, resting his head in the crook of Jason’s neck. They were both sweaty and gross—not to mention the come on Nico’s stomach just kept getting smeared between the two of them—but it hardly mattered at this point.

“So you aren’t mad at me and my stupid big dick?”

Nico rolled his eyes, not that Jason could see. “Shut up.”

“Because I was thinking we could go again, but if you don’t want to…”

“How long will it take you to get hard again?”

 

…

 

Nico and Jason stayed in the mystery section so long they nearly ended up falling asleep there. By the time the two dragged themselves upstairs, the alarm clock in the guest room read that it was after three in the morning.

“What time is your boss getting home?” Nico groaned, “I just want to sleep all day.”

“Mid to late afternoon. Leo’s picking you up at ten-thirty though. I have to hang here until Chiron gets back.”

The thought of a car ride alone with Leo sounded less than fun, but that wasn’t enough to upset Nico on a night like tonight.

“You can sleep when you get home, though. And when you wake up, I’ll be back.”

“And then what?” Nico smirked, pulling Jason into the bed.

“I have a few ideas,” the older boy revealed, pressing his fingers into Nico’s hips. They’d had sex a second time almost immediately after the first, and that time wasn’t nearly as painful, though both boys came just as quickly as the first time. Then they had actually eaten the Oreos and laid together for a while, simply admiring the books and enjoying each other’s company. Then, simply because they could, the two boys had found it in them to do it a third time just thirty or so minutes ago. That time had been the slowest and gentlest time. Nico now understood why people referred to it as making love. He didn’t think he had ever loved the blond more than he had that night.

So yeah, Nico would probably be plenty sore in the morning.

But hell, had it ever been worth it.

“I love you, Nico,” Jason whispered, pulling the blankets over them. “So, so much.”

“I love you too, Jay.”

Nico fell into a deep, peaceful sleep within minutes.

Jason starred in all of his dreams. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, writing smut is hard. I tried to be realistic but if I fucked it up I’m sorry! This was my first attempt at writing full-on sex between two guys so… Anyway, hope you all liked the chapter. Before I get back to this I will be working on chapter 2 of WYLEI and then I will probably write the second half of The First Time. Once First Time is finished though, then my time will only be divided between two stories and not three. Reminder that I always post teasers and information on when I’m updating on my tumblr.


	20. Love Makes Us Liars (Love Makes Us Fools)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Releases deep breath* Wow, it's been terribly long since I have updated and I am so sorry. As you should all know, I had to post chapter two of my dance AU and the last half of The First Time before I could come back to this. But now The First Time is finished and I'll just be splitting my time between two stories now, rather than three. That being said, anyone who has not yet read the second or especially the first half of my Murder Suspect prequel The First Time should really, really consider doing that before going forward with this story. I will be referencing events in that fic in this story starting very soon. 
> 
> After giving myself a few hours to breathe, I will be starting chapter three of When You Least Expect It, so be on the lookout for that in the next few weeks (hopefully not that long)

Morning light shone through the windows, basking Nico in an almost ethereal glow. God, he was beautiful. Just watching him sleep filled Jason with an overwhelming sense of peace. It was just after nine in the morning according to the clock, which meant that Leo would be here to pick Nico up in about an hour and a half. Jason’s own personal angel would have to get up soon, unfortunately. Though Jason would have been content to stay curled up with the dark haired boy and let him sleep all day…

With a gentle sigh, he leaned over and pressed a kiss to Nico’s neck. “Nico,” he whispered, “Time to wake up.”

The pale boy groaned and wound his arms around Jason’s torso. “No, Jay. Sleep,” he mumbled, not opening his eyes.

“I’ll make pancakes… and bacon,” Jason persuaded, practically breathing the words into Nico’s ear.

“But sleep,” Nico protested.

“Fine, I’ll also let you have the rest of the Oreos.”

“Okay,” Nico chirped, eyes suddenly open and alert. Before Jason could say a word, Nico lifted his head to connect their lips.

The kiss could have been chaste, but then Nico apparently decided that his tongue was better off in Jason’s mouth and it all went forward from there. By the time Jason broke the kiss, he had to gasp for air. He smiled down at Nico, unable to find words to place with his feelings other than _holy shit I love you so damn much._

“Don’t just stare at me, you have pancakes to make!” Nico teased, pecking Jason’s cheek.

“Love you,” Jason grinned, kissing Nico one last time before getting out of bed.

“Love you, too,” Nico replied. “Although check with me again in two minutes when I try to walk.”

“I can carry you around, if you really think it’s necessary,” Jason said, pulling on a pair of boxer briefs and then slipping into his jeans. Nico, who had been appreciating Jason’s undressed form, threw a pillow right at his face.

“In your dreams.”

“Hey,” Jason warned, crawling back onto the bed, where the sheets just barely covered Nico’s still-nude body, “Don’t tease me about dreams while you’re still naked.” He stole a kiss. “It’s too tempting.”

Nico tapped his chest lightly with his open palm. “Stop trying to seduce me and go make us some damn breakfast already.”

“Yes sir,” Jason mocked, an unstoppable grin on his lips. A perfect morning to compliment a perfect night.

 

…

 

Maybe having sex three times on the night he lost his virginity hadn’t been Nico’s most brilliant idea, he acknowledged as he made his way to the kitchen. Or should he say _limped_ his way to the kitchen.

It didn’t hurt as bad as he’d feared, but walking was another story. He felt like an idiot and odds were he looked like one too. However, Jason’s smile when Nico sat down at the breakfast table lessened the discomfort exponentially. He’d happily limp around the kitchen again if it meant more sex with Jason.

“Are you uncomfortable sitting there?” Jason asked, worrier that he was. “Would you rather sit on the couch, maybe? Or if you want I could bring you breakfast in bed…”

“Jay, really, I was joking about the not loving you thing. I’m fine.”

“Sorry again,” Jason’s smile was tinged with guilt. “Maybe I could have been more gentle, or gone slower. Fuck, I don’t know.”

“Well, if you really want to avoid this problem all together you may as well just cut your dick off. Though, that wouldn’t really be beneficial to either of us, would it?” He smirked at the blond, who hesitantly returned the expression.

“Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

“You apologize a lot,” Nico noted.

“I’m sor—” He stopped himself. “Damn it, you’re right.”

“I will say though, it’ll be good to go home and lie in our bed.” At Nico’s words, Jason gave a content sigh.

“I like the sound of that. Home in our bed.” He nuzzled his face against Nico’s neck, sickeningly mushy as always. Only, the thing was, Nico was head over heels for this particular ball of mush.

“Yeah,” he sighed, “Me too.”

 

…

 

“All clean,” Jason noted, standing at the scene of last night’s sexual activity. “Like I said, no one will even know we were here. Though next time someone asks me to show them where to find a Patterson book, I’ll probably blush like hell.”

Nico smiled, wrapping his arms around Jason’s torso. Jason’s mood lifted even higher at the feeling of Nico’s arms around him. Normally Jason was the one smothering _Nico_ with hugs and affection. “As long as you don’t try to have sex with them, you can blush all you want.”

“I think I can manage that,” Jason smirked, sneaking a kiss on the younger boy’s forehead.

“I’m not your grandmother,” Nico grumbled. “Kiss me like you mean it.”

“I think we’ve given these poor books enough of a show, don’t you? Besides, you’re getting picked up in less than an hour,” Jason reminded.

“Well then let’s go to the sci-fi shelves and you can kiss me there until the monkey boy comes to collect me.”

“I think we should go back upstairs, instead. Even if the store is closed, I don’t like you down at ground level with windows during the daytime. Come on.” He led his pouting boyfriend back up the stairs, trying not to focus too hard on the way he still limped a little. Nico had been consenting, they’d taken it slow, and he wasn’t even upset with Jason. Nico didn’t care, so Jason shouldn’t either.

Pushing that small amount of guilt inside, Jason was eager to return to his apartment later. God, if Nico was up for it, they could be having sex again before sunset. Jason could hardly wait. He and Nico had waited for over a month, and now Jason wanted nothing more than to make up for all that lost time.

Upstairs, Nico did manage to coax a few heated kisses out of the blond. Okay, admittedly, he didn’t have to do much coaxing. How could he reject Nico when the dark haired boy was in such an affectionate mood?

They wound up on the couch. Nico sat sideways, his legs crossing over Jason’s and his head resting against Jason’s shoulder.

“So I was thinking,” Nico said, “In California, I want to get a really big bed. With one of those mattresses that like mold to fit your body. The memory foam or whatever. I think that would be nice.”

Jason couldn’t help but smile. “Whatever you want.”

“And windows that open. The fresh air would be nice. I don’t want to be stuck in another place with windows I can’t open.”

“Sure, but if we can get back on track with our investigation, you could already be cleared by August.” Jason honestly didn’t know if they could really pull such a feat off, but he had to try. Nico deserved better than spending the rest of his life trapped like a caged animal.

“Yeah, maybe,” Nico said, though he didn’t sound too optimistic. “If we could make any more damn progress.”

Jason pressed a chaste kiss to Nico’s lips. “We still have options. We aren’t beaten yet.”

“You’re right,” Nico said. “And tomorrow we can make all kinds of plans.

A smile spread over Jason’s lips. “Yeah. Tomorrow.” This time when he kissed Nico, it was longer, deeper. He probably would have continued to kiss Nico until it was time for him to leave—just like Nico had wanted—if the sound of an opening door hadn’t interrupted them.

“Jason? I’m home earl—Oh my.”

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. How many times could this possibly fucking happen?

Jason’s boss stood in the doorway to the apartment, utterly frozen. Shit. _Christ._ He wasn’t supposed to be back for hours. Hours! Couldn’t people just arrive home when they said they would?

He never should have risked bringing Nico. Damn it. Fuck.

Nico had withdrawn from Jason the second the door opened, but hadn’t moved more than that. Where could he go? Jason saw that his body had started to quiver.

Chiron looked at him, eyebrows raised, and Jason had no doubt in his mind that the bookseller recognized Nico. Who wouldn’t, these days?

“Hey Chiron… I can explain.”

They were so screwed.

 

…

 

Jason managed to convince Chiron to talk privately downstairs in the shop. Nico remained silent through the short exchange it had taken Jason to persuade Chiron to hear him out, and continued with the silence as Jason led Chiron out of the apartment.

Chiron, however, was not so silent. They barely cleared the bottom of the stairs before he began demanding answers.

“Jason, do you _know_ who that boy is?”

“Yes, Chiron. I know. But just hear me out for a minute.”

“Don’t tell me, you’re like Percy. You think he’s innocent?”

“I _know_ he is. Just please listen.” In a rush, Jason explained what he’d learned about Hades’ abusive nature and the way he’d killed Bianca to punish Nico. It felt weird, much like it had with Thalia. This wasn’t Jason’s secret to tell, but he had no choice. “I’ve seen the scars on his back, Chiron. And if you saw the look in his eyes when he talked about his past, you would believe him, too.” He told the older man how he’d found Nico in the streets and taken him in. How the Nico di Angelo everyone saw as a sociopathic killer was really just a meek teenager with a penchant for sarcasm.

“He’s not dangerous, I swear.”

The bookseller released a deep sigh, pushing a hand through his graying brown hair. “You have feelings for him.”

“That doesn’t make anything I said about him untrue. He’s innocent and I’m going to help him prove it.”

“Why, why would you get yourself into this mess, Jason? This isn’t a book, you know. There is real danger involved in this.”

“I love him, Chiron,” Jason confessed. “I’m so in love with him. I know I’ve put you in a difficult position, bringing him here, but he’ll be back at my apartment soon and you can pretend this morning never happened. Just please don’t tell anyone. Please.”

“Tell anyone?” Chiron repeated, eyebrows raised. “I wouldn’t do that, son. Because you know where that would put you? Prison. For harboring a wanted murderer. You’ve worked too hard to go to prison.”

“I told you! Nico didn’t murder Bianca. He can barely bring himself to kill spiders, Chiron!”

“I’m sure he’s a very sweet boy, for you to care so much, but his father was smart, Jason. There is seriously incriminating evidence against him, and the word of a sixteen year old boy who disappeared after his sister’s murder isn’t going to change anything in the case, no matter how sweet he is or how much you love him. You must know that.”

Jason filed away the bookseller’s words, like he did with all doubts. Chiron didn’t know just how determined Jason was, just how hard he would fight. “I’m not giving up. I love him. I’ll figure it out. I will.”

Chiron rubbed his forehead. “You’d throw away Stanford for this boy? Risk going to prison?”

“I’d risk everything,” Jason said with complete seriousness. “I’m not going to lose him. And I’m not going to let a despicable murderer get away with his crimes.”

“You always have been passionate about the things you love,” Chiron noted, sounding almost melancholy. “I just hope you know what you’re doing Jason. You know I care about you like I would my own child.”

“I know, but I can do this. I have to.”

Nico suddenly appeared at the bottom of the stairs, much to Jason’s surprise. He hadn’t heard his descent at all. Nico looked right over Jason, instead focusing on Chiron. “I’d just like to let you know, sir, that I’d never drag Jason down with me. If anything happened, I wouldn’t let him get in trouble for me. They already think I’m a psycho, I can tell them I was holding Jason hostage. I would never let him go to prison for me.”

“You were listening?” Jason asked, maybe a little embarrassed by how much he’d just bared his soul. He stepped closer to Nico, as if the boy came with his own gravitational pull that only affected Jason.

“I heard a little,” Nico admitted, moving his dark eyes to the blond before him. Nico was still on the last step, making him and Jason roughly the same height for once. Jason wanted to hold his hand, but figured that neither boss nor boyfriend would be comfortable with that as the matter stood.

“I’m not unsympathetic to your situation, Nico,” Chiron clarified, shifting uncomfortably. “Jason believes your innocence, as does Percy Jackson. Those are two boys who usually have very strong gut feelings. Still, I worry about your capability of getting out of this situation you’ve found yourself in.”

“So do I, to be honest. Jason’s optimistic, though.”

“Sounds like Jason,” Chiron agreed, a small smile spreading across his lips.

“Hey,” Jason protested, smiling as well. “Nothing wrong with a little positivity.” He went ahead and kissed Nico’s cheek, which made the younger boy blush profusely.

“I do wonder, Jason. How did you get Nico here? If you walked him down the street I might just have to throw a book at you.”

“Leo drove us,” he admitted.

The graying man’s eyebrows lifted once again in surprise. “Goodness Jason, who else knows about this?”

“Thalia,” Nico offered. “Leo was a complete accident, though, to be fair.”

“Well, if Leo can go any amount of time without blabbing to the world, then perhaps there is hope for you two after all. But how about I take you boys back to Jason’s instead?”

“You’d do that?” Nico asked. “I mean, let a wanted criminal in your car?”

“Consider it an apology for having no food in my apartment. But,” he said, “This will be the only time. I’m old. I have no desire to be involved in this mess.”

“We understand,” Jason assured him. “Thanks, Chiron. Really, I can’t thank you enough.”

“Don’t mention it. Seriously, don’t mention it. Why don’t you boys go gather your things to go, okay?”

They did, and when Jason and Nico returned downstairs, Jason noticed that all of the newspapers talking about Nico had mysteriously vanished from the front of the store.

 

…

 

The car ride was more or less silent, and again Nico found himself unbearably on edge. He wouldn’t be eager to go on any other outings anytime soon, that was for sure. He kept his hood on and his head down the entire ride, not releasing Jason’s hand for a second. Nico probably squeezed the crap out of his boyfriend’s hand, but he figured Jason didn’t mind _too_ much, since he gently brushed his thumb over Nico’s knuckles the whole time.

When they came to a stop in front of Jason’s building, the up-until-then quiet bookseller turned around. “I just wanted to say that, despite being a tad reckless, I think what you boys—you especially, Nico— are doing is quite brave. I wish you both the best.”

_Me?_ Nico thought. _But I’m hiding in Jason’s room all day._ Jason was the one who put himself on the line. Nico was… the researcher. He resisted the urge to frown.

“Thank you, Chiron.”

“And it was interesting to meet you, Nico. I’m sorry about your sister.”

“Thank you, I’m sorry for putting you into this position, though.”

The man waved his hand dismissively. “It’s okay, I have been known to keep a secret or two in my day. My nephew who just got married, Achilles, came out to me three whole years before coming out to his mother. I won’t say a word.”

Both boys shook hands with Chiron and then Nico had to steel his nerves and step out of the car. Sundays, at least, were quiet enough in the financial district. A good thing that it wasn’t Monday, Nico mused to himself as Jason also stepped out of the car.

Nico wore sunglasses now, and didn’t take them off before stepping into Jason’s apartment. Better to be the weird guy wearing sunglasses indoors than the wanted murderer.

It was still morning, so Jason’s mother seemed to be asleep still, if she was even home. “Safe,” Jason sighed, kissing Nico’s cheek.

“For now,” Nico added. That earned him a pretty strong glare from his boyfriend. “Sorry, pessimism is my second nature.” He yawned without meaning to.

Jason’s glare lightened. “How about we go take a nap? Neither of us slept for very long last night.”

Right then, Jason’s bed sounded like the most beautiful place in the world. “Yes please.”

 

…

 

Nico didn’t sleep as long as he’d wanted to. He couldn’t forget what Chiron had said to Jason earlier.

_“The word of a sixteen year old boy who disappeared after his sister’s murder isn’t going to change anything in the case, no matter how sweet he is or how much you love him. You must know that.”_

Chiron was right. Yet Jason would still put so much on the line, risk everything, for the off-chance that a miracle would happen. That’s what it would be if Nico ever managed to get out of this mess—a miracle.

How selfish was Nico, then? Jason was the only person in his life these days and he clung to him with all of his might. But Jason wasn’t in the same situation. Jason had other people who cared about him. Other people who would miss him and mourn him if something happened.

Nico wished he was strong enough to leave him. He wished he was brave enough. Chiron thought Nico was brave and he was wrong. So wrong.

Jason shifted in his sleep, tightening his hold on Nico. It was like the boy had a sixth sense or something specifically for when Nico was having doubts about something, which annoyed Nico quite a bit. How could he think straight about the best thing to do when Jason held him like he could never bear to let go?

Fuck, he couldn’t leave. He knew he should and he just fucking couldn’t. And he wanted to hate himself for it. But he couldn’t do that, either. He couldn’t hate himself for following his heart.

_“You have a big heart, Amore,”_ his mother used to say as she tucked him into bed at night. _“You will one day do great things with it.”_

Jason stirred again, and his eyes opened this time. “Hey,” he mumbled, still half asleep. “You’re awake. How long have you been up?”

“Just a little while,” Nico promised, kissing Jason’s cheek.

“Okay,” he tilted Nico’s face in for a real kiss. Without really meaning to, Nico sighed against the blond’s mouth. _Stay alive, Jay,_ Nico willed as he kissed him. _Don’t get hurt for me. Please don’t get hurt for me._

Jason’s hand wandered down to the waistband of Nico’s pants and his kisses became deeper, making desire pulse through Nico’s entire body. How long had it been since they’d had sex? Twelve hours? Fourteen? How often could they do it?

Apparently, Jason wanted to find out. “The condoms are still in the overnight bag,” he mumbled.

Nico may have gotten out of bed to grab one, if not for the sound of the microwave beeping and a plate being set on the counter in the kitchen. “Your mom is still here, and awake. We can’t,” he said with a frown, kissing the blond’s cheek. He didn’t think he could have sex with Jason while she was home, even if he really wanted to. Jason would have to shove a pillow over Nico’s face the whole time, which he had to admit wouldn’t be so romantic.

“Damn it,” Jason groaned, eliciting a small chuckle from Nico.

“It’s okay, we still have tonight.”

“What do you want to do now, then?”

Nico contemplated that for a moment. Anything that would keep him and Jason in bed was preferable.

“Movie?” He suggested.

Jason smiled and kissed his forehead. “Sure.”

 

…

 

This sex was different than it had been last night. For one, they were actually in a bed. Jason’s bed, to be exact. Jason really liked that… having sex with his boyfriend in his bed. In _their_ bed.

Tonight didn’t have quite the same urgency, either. Jason kept his thrusts slow and gentle, never raising his lips from Nico’s skin all the while. They kissed. And kissed. And kissed. And kissed until finally Jason pulled away gasping and had to rest his forehead on Nico’s while he caught his breath.

Nico didn’t seem bothered by the pace, moaning softly every time Jason went particularly deep. Jason was just happy that Nico seemed to be enjoying himself. Unfortunately, getting to the actual intercourse was just as much of a process as it had been the previous night, and it had taken nearly as long for Nico to adjust. Jason supposed it would be foolish to assume that after one night of sex, Nico would never feel discomfort again. Still, he hoped Nico would slowly adjust over time. Seeing him in even the slightest amount of pain made Jason feel rotten on the inside.

Jason figured he could have probably picked up the pace a little after a while, but he kept everything soft, slow, and sweet nonetheless. Nico had already been sore from the first three times they’d had sex and the older boy figured his boyfriend would like to be able to walk tomorrow. Besides, the slower pace meant Jason didn’t blow after just a few minutes. In fact, Jason lasted probably ten minutes this time, which probably still wasn’t anything to sneeze at but it sure made him feel accomplished.

“God, Jay,” Nico whispered against Jason’s cheek after they’d both finished. It sounded like he was going to say more, but he didn’t.

“Love you,” Jason whispered to fill the silence.

“Eh, you’re okay, too.” Nico chuckled as Jason pulled out.

“Ouch, you’re cold after sex, Nico.” The blond got up to throw away the condom while Nico laughed harder.

“Fine, I love you, too.”

Jason grinned and returned to bed to snuggle his boyfriend. “I’m going to try to talk to Hazel again tomorrow, just so you know.”

“Okay,” Nico replied, though Jason knew Nico still was not completely comfortable with the whole situation. “Just don’t do anything stupid. Or at least, anything unusually stupid for you. Please.”

“Don’t behave stupidly, got it.”

“I mean it. If you get killed trying to help me, I might just have to find some way to resurrect you so I can kill you again myself.”

Jason captured Nico’s lips in a brief kiss. “You say the sweetest things.”

“Jay—” Nico scowled.

“Don’t worry. I promise I’ll be careful. And I won’t do anything to endanger Hazel.”

“Good,” Nico sighed. “I’m running out of people who matter in my life.”

“Well,” Jason said, pulling the boy in close and kissing his forehead, “You aren’t going to lose me.”

“Let’s hope not,” the dark haired boy breathed, a distant look in his eyes. Jason angled his chin so Nico would look at him then kissed him deeply. Nico, apparently grateful for the shift in mood, accepted the embrace wholeheartedly.

 

…

 

“So Chiron actually _saw_ Nico? And drove you both home? And that’s why you didn’t need a ride from me?” Leo asked quietly as the two boys crossed the street toward the school.

“Yup. But I trust him not to say anything,

“Does he know that you and Nico are in loooooove?” The shorter boy wiggled his eyebrows. Jason scanned the passerby, paranoid that someone magically knew exactly what the two boys were talking about.

“I mean, he kind of walked in while we were kissing…”

Leo slapped Jason’s arm. “Again? I hope you weren’t on his couch.”

“Shut up. It was pretty tame.” It wouldn’t have been if Chiron had come home seven or eight hours earlier, but Jason didn’t mention that.

“Good. Poor Chiron may never have recovered. At least he’s willing to keep quiet, though.”

“Yeah. He’s not enthusiastic about it, but I know he won’t betray my trust.”

“Other than that, how was your weekend?”

A huge smile broke out on Jason’s face as images of Saturday and Sunday night crossed his mind. Nico, moaning beneath him, his fingers clutching at Jason’s back, the feeling of finally being inside—

He shook the memories away. The last thing he needed was to get turned on before a long day at school. “It was good.” 

Leo snorted. “Just good? You’re smiling like you won the damn lottery.”

“I am not,” Jason protested feebly, unable to put on a serious face. He’d basically been floating since Saturday and he didn’t know how to return to earth.

“You’re ready to fucking burst into song.”

“You’re delusional.”

_“Pretty, I feel pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gaaaay,”_ Leo sang under his breath.

“Shut up.”

“Does this have anything to do with a certain moody extra pale sixteen year old boy?”

Jason’s lips curled up slightly in a smile without his consent. He couldn’t think of Nico without smiling. Oh God, maybe Leo was right. Jason was ready to dance around the school grounds and become part of the high school fucking musical.

“I know that look. Dios mio, what did you do?”

“Nothing,” Jason said.

“Oh, you crazy lovebirds were up to something. At Chiron’s alone all weekend…” Realization washed over Leo’s face, “Holy shit. You didn’t!”

Jason bit his lip, studying the sidewalk with great interest.

“Don’t tell me you two banged in your boss’s apartment!” Leo exclaimed.

“Will you quiet down!” Jason scolded, smacking the back of his best friend’s head.

“In his apartment?” Leo repeated incredulously in a quieter voice.

Jason shook his head.

“Then where…” Leo trailed off for a moment. “Oh. Oh Jesus. Tell me you and him didn’t fuck in the store.”

Jason’s grin betrayed him. “Mystery section.”

“I AM NEVER STEPPING FOOT IN THAT BUILDING EVER AGAIN! You kinky little book nerd.”

“You asked,” Jason shrugged.

“What’s going on?” Calypso asked, appearing suddenly beside Leo.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Leo replied with a smirk. Jason ran over the last bit of the conversation in his head, just in case Calypso had heard anything, and took comfort in the fact that his at been at least a minute since Nico’s name had come up.

“I thought you weren’t talking to us, because of the whole Piper thing,” Jason recalled, turning to the caramel-haired girl.

“I’m not talking to you, exactly. I come on behalf of Khione. She wanted to know if you’d asked anyone to prom yet, Jason.”

Prom?

He nearly burst out laughing.

It was easy to forget that most people his age had the privilege of worrying about such little things. Jason and Nico could potentially both be caught—either by Hades or the police, Jason didn’t know which to fear more—long before that stupid dance rolled around.

“I’m probably not going to prom, actually. And I’m gay, which you can feel free to tell her.”

Calypso raised an eyebrow. “Oh, that makes a _lot_ of sense, actually. I’ll tell her you’re not interested.”

“I’m interested,” Leo piped up. “Unless you want to go with me Calypso.”

She rolled her eyes. “Not a chance.”

“Okay, then ask Khione if _she_ wants to go with me.”

“You’re such a guy. It’s gross. Anyway, I should get going. Bye Jason,” she glared at Leo and left.

Leo elbowed his friend in the ribs. “Okay, what do you think? She checked me out, right?”

It was Jason’s turn to roll his eyes.

 

…

 

“So I have a geometry test on Wednesday,” Hazel casually said as she sat down next to Jason in art. Reyna Arellano, who had occupied the seat beside Jason until recently, raised an eyebrow as she took a seat on the other side of the room.

Jason’s lips quirked into a grin. Hazel may have been hard to talk to at first, but he was pleased by how their friendship had developed since then. “I’m guessing that means you’re up for another study session?”

“Are you free after school today? I don’t have money to go to a café or anything but we could study at my place.”

Jason tried not to say yes too quickly, but he could barely help himself. Fate was just _handing_ him a golden opportunity to snoop around Pluto’s apartment. If they could prove that he was in a not-so-legal work field, then maybe they could do the same for Hades. It was worth a shot. Though, he knew Nico would hate it.

“Sounds great,” he told her.

Of course, his boyfriend still deserved to know what was going on.

He waited for everyone to get distracted with their work before pulling out his phone. As he began to type a message to Nico, Jason wished he had some way to just call him.

**_Hey, I’m studying with Hazel after school today… at her apartment._ **

Nico replied within the minute. **I’m not crazy about that idea, Jay.**

Jason had already anticipated that response.

**_I’ll be careful. Besides, this is a great chance to maybe get a look through Pluto’s stuff._ **

**Great chance to get caught,** Nico typed back.

**_You gotta trust me. Then, when I get home safe and sound, I’ll make you whatever you want for dinner. Deal?_ **

**Jay…** Jason could picture his boyfriend’s face. Biting his lip, uncertainty in his eyes.

**_And I’ll blow you._ **

**… Fine but if you get caught I won’t even feel sorry for you.**

Jason grinned. **_Love you, too._**

He set his phone down on the table, face down, and drew in his sketchbook for the rest of class while forming a plan for getting the most out of his trip to Hazel’s. When he actually took the time to look at his sketch at the end of class, he realized he’d been drawing Nico’s hands and the lower half of his face from his nose to his jaw. Jason quickly ripped the page out. 

“Art block?” Hazel asked, leaning over to see what Jason had torn out. Before she got the chance he crumpled the paper and shoved it into his backpack.

“Something like that.”

 

…

 

The Levesque family lived about a mile from school, so Hazel and Jason walked. The following day would be the first day of April, and while it still wasn’t particularly warm out, the sun felt nice. Neither Hazel nor Jason wore jackets as they walked.

When they arrived at her building, Jason noticed several similarities between it and the di Angelos’, though this one was perhaps a little newer. He’d never been inside Nico’s apartment, so he couldn’t compare them in that respect, but Hazel’s home reminded Jason a little of Leo’s. Granted, Hazel’s was smaller, since her family only had three people and Leo lived with his mother, aunt, and two little cousins. It looked more lived in than Jason’s apartment, though really that wasn’t so hard to achieve. Jason’s furniture was the type that looked as if no one had ever sat in it.

“You want to work in the living room? We can use the coffee table.”

Jason nodded, taking a seat on the couch.

They sat down and actually studied for thirty minutes or so. Hazel appeared to be feeling more confident with geometry, which Jason at least felt good about. He wasn’t a complete user, he genuinely wanted to help Hazel in school.

“Do you want a snack?” Hazel asked after getting her fifth problem correct in a row. “I’m craving popcorn.”

“Yeah, sounds great.” She stood, waiting for Jason to do the same. He had something else in mind, though. “Hey, I need to use the bathroom.”

“Down that hall, first door on the left.”

Jason headed in that direction while Hazel disappeared into the kitchen. He passed up the first door on the left, wondering what he could find in the two minutes it would take before Hazel wondered where he was. The first door on the right turned out to be Hazel’s room, immediately given away by the purple comforter and horse pictures. He let that room be. The second door on the right was more interesting, because this one was locked.

_Damn._ What kind of room would the Levesques keep locked? Or rather, what kind of room would Pluto keep locked? Could it be a home office? He itched to find a way in there. The bad news was that it looked like he would need a key for that, and he doubted that anyone who went through the trouble of putting a key lock on a regular door would be dumb enough to leave the key inside a potted plant or under a rug.

The second room on the left was not a complete bust, however. Hazel’s parents’ bedroom. Now, don’t get Jason wrong, the room didn’t scream _I Have Incriminating Evidence_ or anything, but he figured the personal space of Pluto Levesque could hold some insightful clues. On each side of the bed was a nightstand with three drawers. The nearest one must have been Maria’s, since the first thing Jason saw upon opening the top drawer were women’s underwear. He blushed brightly and shut that drawer, deciding to try his luck on the other dresser instead. The top two drawers obviously belonged to a male but held nothing spectacular. The bottom drawer, however, was of a little more interest, as the first thing Jason saw upon opening it was a gun.

Now, Jason knew that owning a gun was not uncommon, but then he found something else beneath it. A plastic bag half full with a white powder. Jason had never seen it with his own eyes before, but that didn’t stop him from immediately realizing what it was. Cocaine.

Probably a few hundred dollars worth of it, judging by the amount in the bag. He pulled out his phone and quickly snapped a picture. Where had Pluto gotten it, Nico wondered. Was he the one using it, or was it meant to go to someone else?

He wished he could kick down the office door. He checked under the bed, hoping to find anything more that could be suspicious, an illegal gun, or more drugs maybe.

Instead he found a tie. Not exactly the scandal he’d been searching for. Jason held it in his hands for a moment, sliding the fabric between his fingers. The tie had to be expensive by the look of it—the kind Jason’s father used to wear. It made Jason wonder if all of Pluto’s ties were that expensive, and if so, where was he getting the money? Could he be the one selling the drugs, after all? Where was the rest of it? Jason doubted it was anywhere in this apartment.

“Uh, Jason? What are you doing?” The blond jerked up to find Hazel standing in the doorway. Fuck, he’d been gone too long.

“I’m, uh—”

“Snooping through my family’s things?”

He scratched his head, “Well, yes, but I can explain.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Oh really? Because right now you look like a weird stalker.”

“It’s—it’s a long story. But it’s about things that have been happening these last few months, with your family. Or well, with your cousin. I—” How could he tell her without dragging her into the whole mess? “Do you think that Nico really killed Bianca?”

At Nico’s name, her expression turned from angry to enraged. “Unbelievable, you’re just like everyone else, aren’t you? Is that why you volunteered to tutor me? So you could get into the home of the supposed murderer’s second cousin? Are they going to interview you for the school paper in the morning?” Her golden eyes pierced all the way through Jason, making him feel like the small one and her the imposing one.

“Hazel, no I swear it’s not like that—I—”

“No! No I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear you say Nico’s name ever again. You, or anyone else in this city. None of you care about whether he’s innocent or not, you just love the drama of it all, don’t you?”

Jason struggled for words. Nico would hate Jason if he endangered Hazel, and the truth certainly was dangerous. But not telling the truth, that could mean blowing any chance he had of getting help from Hazel.

“Get out,” Hazel ordered. “And feel free to _never_ speak to me again.”

“Hazel—”

“Get out of my apartment!” She yelled, storming down the hallway. Jason faintly heard the sound of the front door being swung open.

Defeated, Jason grabbed his bag and left.

Operation Prove Nico’s Innocence was going _great._

 

…

 

“So I do have the picture of the gun and the drugs, but that’s it. Hazel kicked me out before I could find anything else. I’m still bothered by that locked door. What I wouldn’t give to get in there…” Jason rested his head on Nico’s lap, staring up at him distraughtly.

“My dad would lock his office door when he wasn’t home, too. We could only go in there if he called us in,” Nico told him, stroking his light hair and brushing it back from his eyes. Jason had to admit that the hair touching was distracting him a little from his disappointment over Hazel earlier. Surprisingly, or perhaps unsurprisingly, Nico hadn’t been mad when Jason broke the news. Instead, he’d only taken hold of Jason’s chin, kissed his lips softly, and told him not to beat himself up over it.

“It’s like I’m bobbing for apples with my lips sewn shut,” Jason groaned.

“Ew, if that image appears in my dreams tonight, I blame you,” he hunched over and kissed Jason’s cheek.

“Fair enough,” Jason smirked, “But in the meantime, how about I make good on that promise from earlier, hmm?” He rolled over and hooked his fingers into Nico’s shorts and boxer-briefs, tugging them down slightly.

“Oh yeah,” a grin not unlike the Cheshire Cat’s appeared on Nico’s face. “I recall you owing me something.”

Jason tugged both garments covering Nico’s rapidly forming erection down past his knees. Then, well, he sure as hell made fucking good on that promise.

Thoughts of Hazel got pushed to the back of Jason’s mind the first time he heard Nico moan. The sound motivated him, switching his focus from _what do I do about Hazel_ to _how can I give my boyfriend even more pleasure._ When Jason sucked all the way down to the base of Nico’s dick, he ended up having to throw a pillow over the younger boy’s face because _oops,_ Beryl Grace was doubtlessly home and possibly awake at this hour.

The whole muffling moans with a  pillow thing wasn’t nearly as fun, but something about the fact that Nico needed a pillow, that there was no other way to keep him quiet, that sort of turned Jason on. He may have been an epic failure when it came to catching a criminal, but apparently he knew a thing or two about making his boyfriend happy.

That, at least, was comforting.

 

…

 

Jason smirked and rolled onto his back, releasing a deep, satisfied breath. He loved the boy beside him so ridiculously much. Loved the way his eyes were shining, the way his dick was slick and wet from Jason’s mouth and remnants of Nico’s sticky release. The pillow had left Nico’s hair a mess and he loved that too.

His eyes drifted from his beautiful boyfriend to the windows across the room. The sun would be setting soon.

“I should probably make us some dinner, yeah?” He sat up and kicked a leg over the side of the bed.

Nico made a sound of whining protest and curled a leg around Jason, enticing him back into the bed. “No, stay.”

“I need to feed you.”

Nico twisted his other leg around Jason’s torso and his arms too, linked to the blond boy like a koala. “I don’t want you to get up,” he protested grumpily.

Jason laughed lightly. Never would he have pegged Nico as such a cuddle-bear. Said cuddle-bear placed kisses on Jason’s neck, coaxing him onto his back. “I know you said you’d make whatever I want for dinner, but I want something else instead,” he smirked, placing himself on top of his boyfriend.

Slowly, the dark haired boy moved his lips down down down Jason’s body to an extremely dangerous place.

“Nico, dinner,” Jason chided, but his voice was unsteady.

“Shut up and let me return the favor.”

Well, Jason couldn’t argue with that.

 

…

 

“Nico, that’s my shirt,” Jason said as Nico stuck his head and arms through the large blue t-shirt.

“I know. It’s soft, I’m keeping it,” he declared, hopping out of bed and sliding on some shorts. “You understand, right?”

Jason probably would have protested if his boyfriend didn’t look so damn cute swimming in the huge shirt. “Jerk.”

“I love you, too,” Nico chuckled. “And hey, don’t get too discouraged about this afternoon, okay? We have other options, and at least you did find something there. Today wasn’t a complete waste.”

Jason nodded. Nico was right. That cocaine in Pluto’s drawer wasn’t nothing, and Jason had picture proof. That had to be worth something.

Still, Jason wondered if his discovery in Pluto’s room had been worth losing Hazel—as an information source, but also as a friend.

“Me? Discouraged? Yeah right, someone could drop a piano on me and I’d still keep trying to clear your name.” He tacked on a laugh at the end, but both boys knew his heart wasn’t in it.

Despite all of his positive words over the last few days there was a part of Jason—and no small part, either—that worried this was only the first on a long track of failures.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,” Nico said.

“Yeah, let’s hope not.”


	21. It's A Small World After All (A Little Too Small)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait my pretties! You would not believe (or who knows, maybe you would) how busy this month has been for me. BUT, I am proud to announce that today was my LAST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL. I'm graduating tomorrow morning and I think I am in denial, honestly. 
> 
> Anyway, if you ever think I don't love you, just remember that I edited this on the last day of school when I could have been doing normal teenage things. (Although let's be real, since when do I care about normal teenage things)

Nico had gone through this nightmare before. Countless miserable times.

Nico rested on his back, his eyes taking in the starless sky while the unbearably humid night air clung to his skin, weighing him down to the cobblestone street beneath him. Despite the sticky July heat, Nico shuddered. Cobblestone, not cement. Like the street in front of...

He shot up to a sitting position, feeling his head throb painfully as he did, and looked around. The night was quiet. So quiet. No people walked the streets, no windows were open in the apartments above, there weren’t even any cars driving by. _No. No._ Nico needed cars. He needed people. Someone to… someone to help him. Someone to help—

A groan of pain drew Nico’s eyes to the parked car in front of his building and the two people against it. The man with his back to Nico had a tall, imposing figure. His pale skin stood out sharply in the night, while his hair seemed to blend into the darkness.

Nico’s father.

And… the boy pressed against the vehicle, the one who had made the pained noise… His hair was light blond, his skin tan. But his other facial features were blurred, smeared like the blood falling from his nose, split and swollen like the skin beneath his eye. Still, Nico knew who it was. And he knew why the boy looked so battered, why he sounded so in pain.

_No. No no no no no._

Luke.

Nico sobbed, a hand cupped over his mouth in utter horror. He struggled to get up, to rise to his feet, to do _something_ but, no matter how hard he tried, he could not stand—could not move even an inch in Luke’s direction. So he screamed. He screamed for someone, anyone to help.

No one came.

And then Hades di Angelo drew a pocket knife.

“Let’s un-pretty that face, shall we?” He said, and though Nico could not see his father’s face, he could imagine the wicked smile undoubtedly playing across the man’s lips. Nico screamed louder as the tip of the knife opened Luke’s skin, creating a stream of dark red liquid as the blade glided from the corner of the teenager’s eye to just above the tip of his chin. Nico felt the cut too, in his heart. And he knew Luke was screaming along with him, but he could barely hear it. Where—where was everyone? Hestia, across the street? Bob Iapetus, who lived downstairs? Why could no one hear the screaming? Why was no one coming to check on them?

Hopeless. Helpless. Useless. That’s what Nico was.

Hades shoved Luke aside and the blond crumbled to the ground in an ungraceful heap. An unmoving heap.

And finally Nico could step forward.

Luke hadn’t moved since Hades shoved him.

Something was wrong.

He’d just cut Luke’s face. Luke would be fine. He was supposed to be fine.

_Step._

Luke’s hair looked lighter than it had from a distance.

Luke looked more muscular, too.

_Step._

So much blood. Why was there so much blood?

_Stop._

Nico gagged at the sight up close. Luke’s face wasn’t the only thing bleeding. The base of the pocket knife protruded from Luke’s chest, creating a bloom of blood on his shirt in the shape of a nightmarish flower. Nico’s head whipped to the side and now he saw his father’s smile, even more wicked than his imagination. Blood coated his hand and he casually wiped it on his shirt. The knife was no longer curled clutched between his fingers.

“Look at what you did now, Nicky,” Hades taunted, pointing a bloodstained finger in the direction of Luke’s body. Unable to stop himself, Nico turned.

This time Nico did not just gag, he fell to his knees. The scream that followed could have shattered every window in Manhattan and it would still not have encompassed Nico’s pain.

Luke wasn’t the one dead. The lighter hair... The bulkier form…

The boy wasn’t Luke at all.

It was—

…

 

“Nico,” Jason shook the sleeping boy’s form. He’d been woken up by Nico’s screams from undoubtedly another nightmare. Whatever images existed in Nico’s mind right now, they weren’t pretty, that much was sure. He hadn’t seen Nico this terrified in weeks.

Dark eyes shot open and Nico took a deep, gasping breath. Tears rested in the corner of his eyes. “Jay?” He whispered.

“I’m here,” Jason promised, pulling Nico into his arms. “Just a nightmare.”

Nico hid his face in the crook of Jason’s neck. “It was you,” he whispered.

Jason looked down at him. “What was me? I was in the dream?”

“Yeah,” Nico breathed, and Jason knew that was all the boy planned to say about it. Talking about his nightmares was one of the things Nico rarely did, especially if Jason was featured… but Jason got the gist, so he hugged Nico tighter.

“Love you,” Nico murmured into Jason’s neck.

“I love you, too. Ready to go back to sleep or do you want to stay up for a while? I can make hot chocolate.”

“We can go back to sleep,” the dark haired boy said, turning so his back pressed against Jason’s chest. Jason kept an arm wrapped around Nico’s midsection and left a trail of light kisses on the back of his neck.

“Night, Nico,” Jason said, even though it was after four in the morning.

“Night,” Nico mumbled, but Jason knew that the boy in his arms would not be going back to sleep.

So he didn’t, either.

 

…

 

Nico held the faded leather between his fingers, smoothing his thumb over worn material. His grandfather’s cuff bracelet—it never had fit on Nico’s small, bony wrist. Nico’s grandfather gave it to him six years ago, on his last trip to Italy. Shortly after, the man had died.

“This was my father’s belt,” he’d told Nico in Italian. “Before he died, he had it made into a bracelet and gave it to me, so a part of him would always be with me. He’s watching over me now, and soon I will be watching over you. And as long as you have it, Nico di Angelo, you’ll have angels in heaven on your side.”

Nico didn’t much believe in angels at the time. Where had the angels been whenever his father beat him? But now… Well, now he could use a little magic in his life.

_You’ll have angels in heaven on your side._

Was Bianca with them, he wondered.

_B, if you’re watching over me now, I love you._ He laid the bracelet on Jason’s desk. _Protect Jason, please. He needs it more than I do._

Actually… that gave him an idea.

 

…

 

“You totally blew it with Hazel, then?” Leo asked quietly as he and Jason passed through the front doors of the school.

“Well, she just ignored me all period long, if that’s any indication.” In fact, Hazel had glared at him when he tried to get within ten feet of her. Jason had spent the rest of the class slumped in his seat beside Reyna, who’d merely raised a questioning brow at him. It made sense that Reyna was friends with Annabeth. Both girls were quiet, observant, and fairly intimidating.

“You just don’t have people skills,” Leo shrugged, patting his shoulder.

“Oh, and you do?”

Leo laughed and shoved his arm. “So, where do you go from here?”

Jason ran his fingers through his hair. Truth be told, he’d been asking himself the same question. He needed a new source of information, and he _really_ needed to find out more about the cocaine in Hazel’s apartment.

Convincing Nico to try again, however, that would be difficult, especially considering last night’s nightmare. When Jason’s alarm finally went off that morning, Jason still had not gone back to sleep. Nico hadn’t either, but they’d both been silent the whole time. Jason figured it was best not to push Nico to talk about the dream, since that seldom garnered a response from the younger male. So rather than bring up what had happened, Jason had simply kissed Nico’s cheek and got out of bed. Nico stayed in the bed in a near comatose state while Jason prepared for school, but Jason had felt the boy’s eyes on his back while he dressed. Only when it came time for Jason to leave did Nico rise from the bed.

They shared their usual goodbye kiss, but this time Nico was not so quick to let Jason leave. As soon as Jason began to pull back, Nico threw his arms around the blond’s neck and kissed him harder. Jason allowed the kiss to carry on for another minute or two before reluctantly prying Nico’s hands away. _“I’m going to be late,”_ he apologized. _“See you after school.”_

The messages they’d exchanged during the day had been brief, lacking their normal playful banter. This nightmare had really fucked Nico up, and Jason wished he would talk about it. The things that Nico couldn’t even tell Jason were the things that worried Jason the most. He couldn’t fix a problem if he didn’t know its source, after all.  

“I don’t know where to go from here. I barely know what I’m doing, Leo,” he admitted. “It’s like I can see the way out, but it’s above my head and I can’t reach it.

“You’ll figure it out,” the shorter boy promised. “I know you will.”

“And how would you know that?”

“I don’t know, a feeling? It’s like you have a love adrenaline rush. It makes you all brave and strong and like, Mr. Determination and shit… I say this in the bro-est of bro ways, of course.”

A smile pulled at the corner of Jason’s lips. “You’re an idiot,” he chuckled.

“Ah, but I’m a high-functioning idiot.”

 

…

 

When Jason arrived home, he found Nico asleep on top of the bed. His heart swelled with affection for the younger boy. _Sleep, beautiful,_ he smiled to himself, going to sit at his desk so Nico could rest.

Jason needed to figure out his next step. Leo believed in him, Nico believed in him _,_ Jason couldn’t stand to let them down.He turned on his laptop, as if the internet would magically hold the answer to all of Jason’s problems. But he didn’t need an internet source, not really. What he really needed was a living, breathing source. A witness. Hades abused Nico for years, there had to be someone who knew about it.

Well, there _was_ —Luke. But was Jason ready to open that can of worms with Nico again? He could barely mention the guy without Nico tensing up and practically shutting down. What if Luke was the solution, though? The idea of meeting Nico’s former sort-of boyfriend didn’t exactly thrill Jason, but he would do it for Nico.

If he could ever get his stubborn boyfriend to agree to it.

Jason rotated in his desk chair and watched Nico sleep for a minute. He looked so fantastically peaceful, Jason wished Nico could always feel so at ease.

_One day, beautiful. I promise._

 

…

 

“You didn’t wake me,” Nico accused, opening his eyes. He hadn’t meant to sleep so long, but apparently his body had other ideas. Grogginess weighed down his body, reminding him uncomfortably of the way he’d been unable to move in his nightmare.

“You didn’t go back to sleep after your bad dream,” Jason retorted, crossing to the bed and pecking Nico on the lips.

“Neither did you,” Nico mumbled, pressing his lips to Jason’s again.

“Mmm,” Jason hummed, crawling onto the mattress and deepening the kiss. Nico gladly accepted the embrace. Part of him wanted to completely erase last night’s dream, to wash it from his mind and instead drown himself in Jason’s presence. That part of him wanted to kiss Jason harder, to reach down and undo the button on his jeans, to allow Jason to unravel him one kiss at a time.

Another part of him knew that his dream hadn’t been just any nightmare. It was a warning of what could happen if Jason and Nico continued down this doomed path. That part of Nico caused him to turn his head away and break the kiss.

“Something wrong?” Jason asked, his face still just inches away from Nico’s.

“It’s nothing.”

“Don’t lie to m—”

“Okay, I mean, it’s not nothing. It’s just… I’m just… forget it.” Maybe it had been a bad idea to pull away. He moved to kiss Jason again but this time the blond shrugged him off.

“I’m worried about you,” Jason said, brushing a finger over Nico’s cheek.

_Back at you, Jay,_ Nico thought. “I’ll be fine. It’s difficult sometimes, to separate dreams from reality. And this one left me really shaken up, apparently.”

“Something bad happened to me, didn’t it?” Jason surmised.

Bad didn’t even begin to cover it, but Nico nodded. He thought of telling Jason more, but couldn’t find the words to. There was no easy way to voice his greatest fear—that Jason would share Luke’s fate.

Goddammit, Nico had _sworn_ that there would never be a repeat of the Luke incident.

“I know this isn’t a good time but… we should start thinking about where to go from here now that Hazel’s out of the picture.”

“No,” Nico rejected. “You should take a break for a while. Keep a low profile.”

“I’m not taking a break until I can kiss you without worrying that the cops are going to bust down my door.”

Nico narrowed his eyes at the older boy. “Sometimes I think I hate you even more than I love you.”

“Or maybe you just hate me because you love me so much,” Jason countered.

That made Nico narrow his eyes even more. “Fine, go be stupid. Just know that I don’t have sex with danger craving idiots.”

Jason opened his mouth to protest just as his phone started to ring. He huffed indignantly and answered the call. “What’s up, Leo?”

Nico heard Leo say something along the lines of “let me in.” Jason rolled his eyes and left the room without giving Nico a second look.

Christ, he wished he’d just kept kissing Jason. Being silently unhappy was easier than openly arguing.

 

…

 

“Bad time?” Leo asked, lifting an eyebrow upon seeing Jason’s face.

Jason glanced around for any sign of his mother in the kitchen or living room. “No, it’s fine. What’s up?”

Leo held up a white envelope. “I meant to give this to you earlier, but then I figured it’d be best to deliver it in person. Is Nico in your room?”

Jason rolled his eyes. “No, actually he went out for an afternoon jog. Why, you think that’s a bad idea?”

“Ah,” Leo nodded, “Bad time. Got it.”

“Just come in,” Jason sighed. “You already came all the way over here.”

As he led Leo back to the bedroom, Jason wondered about Nico’s sudden turnaround. He’d never been a fan of Jason’s participation in clearing his name, but Jason thought they had at least come to an agreement in that department. So why was Nico being so difficult? Jason also had a terrible feeling that there were things that Nico wasn’t telling him. He didn’t care how bad said things were, he just needed to know them. Honesty was an essential part of a relationship. If they didn’t have that…

Nico looked slightly more relaxed when Jason and Leo returned, though Jason wondered if it was only to keep up appearances. “Sup?” Leo nodded.

“Hey, are you two going to study or something?” Nico asked, pulling his legs up to his chest.

Leo laughed. “Study. That’s so cute. Actually, I’m here for you. I know things have been kind of tense lately, with Chiron… and then the Hazel thing, and I figured you could use this.” He held out the sealed white envelope.

Nico looked to Jason with questioning eyes. Jason shrugged,  but on the inside he was singing. Nico looked at him, which meant he couldn’t be _that_ pissed. The boy rose from the bed and crossed hesitantly to Leo.

“Uh, thanks,” Nico mumbled awkwardly, tearing the envelope open. Jason eyed Leo, suspicious of the way the Latino was smiling.

Inside was a card, but Jason could only see the back of it from where he stood. Once Nico opened the card, Jason could see that the front had a blown up winking tongue face emoji. Odd.

Nico’s face darkened immediately as he examined the card and Leo died laughing.

“You’re ridiculous,” Nico said, covering his face. Curious, Jason took the card from Nico’s hand.

“Oh God.” Across the inside of the card printed in Leo’s messy all caps handwriting were the words _CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SEX!!!!_

“I was going to ice it onto some cookies but that would have used up way too much icing. Anyway, I’m going to get going before Jason decides to kill me. Love you guys!” Leo turned and escaped. Just in time, too. Jason really could have killed him, or at least punched him. Surely Nico would be angry about the card, and the fact that Jason discussed their sex lives with Leo.

But then a miracle happened. Nico started laughing.

“He is the weirdest person I’ve ever met.”

“I think he _is_ growing on you,” Jason smirked, hesitantly stepping closer.

For an awkward moment, the two stood in silence. “I don’t really hate you, Jay,” Nico admitted. “I’m sorry for snapping at you.”

“It’s okay, I shouldn’t have pushed you when I knew you were having a bad day.” Jason stepped even closer and wrapped his arms around the younger boy. “We can talk about it tomorrow, if you want.”

“Thank you,” Nico whispered, pulling Jason down for a kiss. “Leo reminded me, I actually have something I wanted to give you.”

“Me?” Jason asked with a curious grin. Nico placed another quick kiss on the blond’s lips and then walked away, disappearing into Jason’s closet.

He returned a moment later with a brown leather bracelet. “Back when I was a kid, my family would send Bianca and me to Italy for a few weeks every summer to visit our grandparents. The summer before my grandfather died, he gave me this.” He held up the bracelet. “It’s never fit me, but I always keep it close. It’s supposed to signify angels watching out for me but, ah, I think it would get better use if you wore it…”

His grandfather’s bracelet? Nico wanted _him_ to have it? “Oh, Nico, I couldn’t—I mean, he gave it to you. It’s your bracelet and—”

“Well I want you to have it. With me, it just sits in the pocket of a jacket that I have no use to wear anymore.” Nico snapped the buttons of the cuff around Jason’s wrist, securing the bracelet.

Jason’s body flooded with warmth. “Nico, this is—”

“A perfect fit,” Nico interrupted, holding up Jason’s wrist and putting his lips to it. “Just promise you’ll wear it, okay?”

“Will no one recognize that it’s your bracelet? Hazel? Percy?”

Nico shook his head. “Like I said, I never wore it. I usually just kept it in my pocket. If Hazel has ever seen it, she won’t remember. I didn’t really show it around. And Percy definitely wouldn’t know it. Now, if you ran into a member of my immediate family…” Nico scowled. “But you won’t. You swore you would stay away.”

“I will, I promise.”

“You promise to stay away or to wear the bracelet?”

“Both,” Jason smiled, leaning in and covering Nico’s lips with his own. In actuality, he still didn’t feel worthy of wearing the bracelet that was clearly so important to Nico, but he would keep it if it made the younger boy happy and—hopefully—gave him some piece of mind.

Later that night, Nico apparently decided that Jason wasn’t too much of an idiot to have sex with, after all.

 

…

On Wednesday, Jason’s mother left by five o’clock.

Needless to say, the boys took advantage of that opportunity.

“Fuck,” Nico moaned into Jason’s neck. “Oh fuck, Jay.”

Since Saturday night, Jason and Nico had taken every available opportunity to have sex. Jason couldn’t believe they’d managed to go without it for as long as they did. Whenever they were like this, connected and moving together and close— _so fucking close_ —Jason could imagine heaven was real and right beneath him.

And that was all a really nice way of saying that Nico had a fucking amazing ass.

“Good?” Jason asked, both out of concern for Nico’s comfort and the worry that Jason wasn’t giving Nico the same pleasure that Nico gave him.

“Why do you think I’m—ahhh—moaning, jackass?” Nico panted.

A wide grin overtook Jason’s face. “Just checking,” he clarified, punctuating his words with an angled thrust in the direction of Nico’s prostate.

“Jason,” Nico gasped. “Why are you s—so damn good at this?”

The blond’s responding laugh quickly turned to a low moan.

“Close,” Nico gasped, “So close. Don’t stop.”

“Me too.”

Within the minute, both boys found release.

“You only asked me if I was comfortable once every minute that time,” Nico noted with a smile as Jason threw the condom away. “I’m impressed.”

“I mean, we’ve had sex like… seven times.”

“You’ve kept count?” Nico chuckled. “Now I’m even more impressed.” Jason crawled back onto the bed and kissed him.

“Love you,” he whispered.

“Love you, too.”

“So,” Jason prompted, pulling Nico onto his lap. “Clearing your name…”

Nico made a distressed sound. “Did you just seduce me into having this conversation?”

“More like _opening_ you up to the idea…”

“Get out,” Nico snorted.

“Seriously, though. We won’t accomplish anything just sitting here.”

Nico shifted slightly on top of Jason’s lap, moving his hips against Jason’s crotch. “I beg to differ.”

Jason smirked. “Are you trying to seduce me _out_ of having this conversation?”

“Uhhh, yes,” Nico grinned wickedly.

“Nico,” Jason said his name with exasperation, “You can’t avoid this. Let me help you.”

Nico got off of Jason’s lap and crossed his arms. “Hestia Stathos,” he muttered.

“What?”

“You can talk to her. See if she knows anything.” Jason knew he’d heard Nico mention the name before. Hestia was his mother’s best friend, a Greek woman who apparently hated Hades’ guts. She was potentially a very useful witness.

“Do you think she would? Know anything, I mean?”

“She’s always stuck her nose in other people’s business. Worth a shot.”

 

…

 

Hestia’s apartment building looked more or less like Nico’s, but Jason didn’t waste too much time checking it out. Since the woman live across the street from Nico’s old home, and Jason had promised to steer clear of Hades, he figured it would be bad news if he randomly crashed into the bastard again.

He couldn’t just walk through the front door though, so he went to the intercom thing that many apartments in this neighborhood had and called for her to buzz him up.

“Hello?” Said the female voice through the speaker.

“Hi, Ms. Stathos, it’s John Grayson. We spoke on the phone.”

“Ah! John. Yes, come up, come up!” The door unlocked a moment later.

On his way up to her floor, Jason mused about how easy this had all been. Though Nico hadn’t remembered the woman’s cell phone number, Jason had actually been able to get a hold of her in—fucking get this—an online phonebook. After that it had just been a matter of arranging a meeting on the grounds of being “a concerned friend of Bianca di Angelo.” And creating a fake name, of course. He had to admit, John Grayson wasn’t exactly the most subtle alias, but Jason had kind of been put on the spot. After all, it wasn’t until Hestia asked over the phone who she was speaking to that Nico whisper-hissed for Jason to give her a different name.

Now here he was, on a cloudy Sunday afternoon, knocking on the woman’s door. John Grayson’s first outing into the world.

“Coming!” The same voice from the phone and the intercom called. She had a warm voice, aged yet also youthful at the same time. The door opened moments later to reveal a short, olive-skinned, simple looking woman well into her forties. She had a few hairs threatening to turn gray and laugh lines, but Jason thought they suited her.

“Hi Ms. Stathos, thanks for agreeing to meet with me.”

“Of course! But please, call me Hestia. Come in, come in,” she motioned for Jason to step into her apartment.. He nodded graciously and stepped over the threshold into the apartment. Looking around, it was very clear that the woman lived alone. There was clutter everywhere, hundreds of frames displaying pictures of probably every relative she had donned the walls and small trinkets decorated all of the tables. Additionally, Jason spotted two cats roaming around.

“Would you like some tea, John?”

“Ah, maybe later,” Jason said, eager to dive right into their conversation. A new potential lead, new possibilities, he could barely contain his delight.

“Okay, sure Sweetie.” Hestia made her way to the couch. “Now, you said you were a friend of Bianca’s?”

“Yes, we went to school together.”

The woman smiled. “You’re very handsome, are you sure you weren’t her boyfriend?”

_Her brother’s, actually._

“I’m sure,” he replied with a polite laugh. “But I know that you and her mother are very good friends, best friends even. Bianca told me about you before.”

“All good things, I hope,” Hestia joked lightly.

“Of course. I was just wondering if you’d heard from the di Angelo family lately… Since Bianca’s death they haven’t really kept in touch. I guess I’m kind of worried. Hades always struck me as—”

“A no good slimeball?” Hestia asked, a polite smile on her face.

“Actually, yeah.” Nico was right about Hestia’s dislike for the man. Good.

“I always told Maria she was too good for him. Bah, what scum. He’s too collected, too calm and polite. It’s all an act, though. Inside, he’s rotten to the core.” She shifted in her seat, slightly embarrassed. “Sorry, was that too forward of me?”

“No, no,” Jason assured her. “Bianca… when she was alive… she told me these not so nice things about her father. That he was violent... especially toward her brother Nico.” He tried his best to remain casual as he said Nico’s name. _Jason_ may have loved Nico, but he was just the little brother of a dead friend to John. Even with someone who Nico trusted, it was dangerous to let a connection between Jason and Nico be made. Connecting those dots would make a straight line to Jason’s front door, and then it would all be over.

Hestia shifted uncomfortably. “Maria never talks about it. But there are sometimes… bruises. On her neck, her wrists. Bianca got them too, but less frequently. Nico, though,” her eyes wandered off, and suddenly Jason felt as if the woman was not in the room. Her mind had gone elsewhere, and by the look on her face, elsewhere did not seem like a place Jason wanted to be. “He used to be such a loving, sweet kid, you know? I’m sure that’s probably hard to believe. He would laugh and smile a lot more, play this silly card game, do kid stuff. Hades was still rotten back then, but he wasn’t as physical, at least not with the kids. Nico was probably ten when things started to change. Honestly, I’m still not quite sure of all that Hades did to him, but the effect it had on that sweet young boy is overwhelming.”

Jason swallowed hard. He didn’t want to hear this. He did _not_ want to hear this.

_Never again never again never again never again._

“You said you were concerned when you called me, and I can see that you are genuine in your concern. But you didn’t quite elaborate.”

“I think everyone is wrong about who murdered Bianca,” Jason blurted. No use in sugar coating it.

Hestia gave a sad nod. “I think I’ll make that tea, now.”

Jason followed her to the kitchen. “Do you?”

“Do I believe that Nico is innocent? Of course. But what can I do? I’m not a cop. No one would listen to me.”

“There’s got to be something we can do, right? I mean, we can’t just let Bianca’s murderer get away. If Hades killed Bianca—”

“What if he did? You aren’t afraid of what would happen to you if Hades found out what you were doing?”

Oh great, she sounded like Nico. “Justice is justice, at least that’s how I see it. I’m not asking you to get involved, if you are afraid—”

“I do not fear Hades, but I know what he is deep inside. It’s ugly and I do not want to tangle with such ugliness. I’m too old for that.”

“Still, if there is anything you know. Anything that could be considered incriminating, or any kind of alibi that could help Nico’s case, I would appreciate it.”

Hestia placed the tea kettle on the stove. She stood silent a minute, watching the flame intently. Jason wondered what thoughts could be circling her mind. “Okay, I’ll tell you what I know. Few people would like to see Hades behind bars more than me.”

“Thank you.”

“For starters,” she said, crossing to the pantry and retrieving a container of cookies, “Hades’ date night alibi is fake. He hasn’t taken Maria out on a date in over nine years. Notice that nowhere in the papers is a restaurant where the alleged date was supposed to have happened.”

Jason took a mental note of that. He’d need more solid evidence, but it was a start. “Okay, what else?”

She tapped her chin for a moment. “Well, about six months ago, I remember Maria mentioning having to attend a funeral for one of Hades’ colleagues. He was brutally stabbed to death by a random mugger in the streets. Or… so the story goes. I didn’t think much of it at the time but, the multiple stab wounds is coincidental, to be sure.”

Jason’s stomach twisted with nervous excitement. “Do you know the name of the colleague?”

The older woman frowned. “No, sorry. Maria would know, but I can’t exactly ask her. Hades watches her like a hawk.”

_Nico might know,_ Jason thought, even though he had never mentioned the occurrence before. “It’s fine,” he told her anyway.

“I can’t think of anything else now, but I’ll try. I’d like to see you succeed in this.”

Even if she couldn’t presently remember anything, Jason knew another way the woman could be helpful. The idea had occurred to him just moments ago, at the mention of how closely Hades watched his wife. “Could you do something for me? A small favor?”

“Possibly, what is the favor?”

“Your apartment faces the di Angelos’. If you could keep an eye on the building, try to find out how often Hades is coming and going, that would help me a lot.”

A plan had started to form in Jason’s mind. A high-risk, long-shot, extremely difficult plan, but a plan all the same. The only one he had.

Hestia contemplated his words briefly. “Okay yes, I will do that for you. As long as I do not have to leave my apartment or confront Hades in any way. I already watch you strange Americans out the window frequently.”

“You won’t have to confront anyone,” he assured her. After all, the last thing he needed was to put _another_ person in harm’s way. Well, for now at least.

Eventually though, she would have to talk. In order for Jason’s plan to have any chance of succeeding, she would have to. They all would.

And unfortunately, Hestia would be the _easiest_ to convince. Out of the three, she had the least reason to be afraid.

Now, Luke would provide more of a challenge. Just finding him could take weeks, months. Getting him to listen, that would be nearly impossible.

The hardest of them all, though—the hardest to reach, the hardest to convince to speak out, the one with the most reason to be terrified of Hades—would come last. She would be the final piece of the puzzle, the key witness that could tear down Hades’ alibi, his lies, his everything.

Jason would have to convince Maria di Angelo to speak out.

 

…

 

After tea, Jason figured it was time to return home. He’d left Nico alone for long enough, and his boyfriend was likely hungry by now.

If by some miracle Jason managed to pull off his gathering of the witnesses plan, there would come a day where Jason didn’t need to worry about his boyfriend starving to death fifty feet from a refrigerator, but today would not be that day. “I should get going. My parents will be expecting me home.” (John Grayson had a living father and a sober mother apparently, and they actually gave a shit about his whereabouts.)

“Okay, well I’m glad you stopped by, John,” Hestia told him. “Your company is enjoyable and your ambition is very honorable. Bianca would be honored to know her friends cared about her so much.”

Jason blushed, guilty that he had never taken the time to get to know Bianca di Angelo during her brief life. “Thank you. Really, that means a lot.”

“And I’ll let you know about Hades. If he’s coming or going from the building, I’ll see it.”

“We’ll keep in touch,” Jason assured, opening the front door. “It was really nice to meet you.”

“John?” Hestia said as Jason stepped into the hall.

“Yes, Hestia?” Jason asked, turning to look back at the woman.

“Make him pay.”

“I will,” Jason promised with absolute seriousness.

 

…

 

Jason stepped into his apartment to find his mother and some random guy in the living room. The guy was holding one of his mother’s overnight bags.

“Who the fuck is this?” The guy asked, eyeing Jason with distaste.

“Oh, just my son,” Beryl replied with a shrug.

“Going somewhere?” Jason asked, uncomfortable with the presence of a strange man with Nico just down the hall.

“This is Phineas, I’m gonna stay at his place in Queens for a few days. Eat some leftovers for dinner or something.” As if they had leftovers.

“Oh, is your wife out of town?” Jason asked Phineas with a curious raise of his eyebrows, dropping his keys on the front table and brushing past the couple.

“Hey, watch your fucking mouth, kid!”

“Another winner,” Jason mused as he walked away. “Have fun, you two!”

He heard Phineas huffing angrily and the sound of the front door shutting, leaving just Jason and Nico in the apartment.

Good riddance. Jason opened his bedroom door to find Nico standing eagerly on the other side. “Hey there,” the shorter boy greeted in a falsely casual tone. “What brings you to my humble abode?”

“Shut up,” Jason chuckled, leaning in for a chaste kiss. “How long was that guy here?”

“Too long,” Nico complained, pulling Jason closer. “But at least we’re alone now.”

“This is true,” they kissed again.

“Did everything go well with Hestia?”

“How about I make us some late lunch and I can tell you all about it.”

“Deal.”

 

…

 

Nico watched Jason prepare lunch with the utmost fascination. When Jason made sandwiches, he went all out—slicing tomatoes and lettuce, grilling chicken, toasting the bread, and even adding freshly peeled avocado. Of course, this wasn’t out of the ordinary for Jason Grace.

He attacked every task put in front of him with incredible tenacity, even if said task was preparing lunch. And, strange as it may sound, it worried the hell out of Nico. Jason kept falling deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole of Nico’s life, and every action he took only made him fall faster and with greater speed. Soon enough he would be trapped forever in this mess, and the final destination was far from Wonderland.

“She mentioned a funeral of one of your father’s colleagues around six months ago,” Jason mentioned mid-recount of his afternoon. “Apparently the guy who died was stabbed to death. Multiple stab wounds all over. Like… you know…”

“Bianca,” Nico nodded, the pang in his stomach as strong as ever as he spoke her name. “I don’t remember any stabbing, though.”

“Well, did you know of your father going to a funeral at all? Did anyone he work with die recently?”

Nico barely knew about his father’s work, barely talked with any of the men he had ever had in the apartment, with the exception of his uncle Pluto and Atlas Torrington, of course. Still, he did faintly recall a Saturday where he and Bianca had the apartment to themselves while their parents attended a funeral. Of course, Nico’s father had claimed the man died of a heart attack. He had a vague recollection of this man, tall and paunchy with oily black hair and an endless collection of ugly business suits. A heart attack had been a believable death, but now Nico questioned it.

The man hadn’t been around much, and whenever he was a sort of tension existed between him and Nico’s father. Had Hades killed the man? And if so, what had brought it on?

“Ugliano,” Nico mumbled, the name suddenly returning to him. “Gabe Ugliano. I don’t think my dad liked him that much.”

“Knives,” Jason said, slicing one sandwich in half, “Seem to be a commonality between the different crimes your father has committed. If he did kill Gabe, then he used the same technique as he did with your sister. And then… well, there’s what he did to Luke…” Jason glanced up at Nico nervously.

Nico tensed, knowing where Jason was going with this particular topic. “No. For the millionth time, no. We are not dragging Luke into this, drop it. Forget I ever even mentioned him to you.”

Images from his latest nightmare assaulted Nico once again—of Jason bleeding out in the street with the knife protruding from his chest—and the dark haired boy had to suppress a shudder.

“Even if he could help prove your innocence?” Jason challenged.

Nico’s throat felt tight as he answered, “He won’t.” He remembered how Luke had screamed in pain. Remembered the calm, cold look on Hades’ face as he’d shoved Luke to the cobblestone and allowed the blood to drip from his face and stain his clothing. Worst of all, he remembered the look in Luke’s eyes when they finally met Nico’s. The look of absolute pain and unadulterated terror. “Luke Castellan has no reason in the world to help me. I ruined his life.” Tears started to form in Nico’s eyes. “Please, just drop it. Okay?”

Jason stepped away from the sandwiches and went to wrap his arms around Nico. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, pressing a kiss into Nico’s hair. “I won’t bring him up again.”

Nico nodded and hugged Jason back, but it didn’t make him feel any better.

 

…

 

Jason hated Monday mornings almost as much as he hated Manhattan traffic. When his alarm went off, ordering him to get his ass out of bed, the blond groaned. He’d been having a spectacular dream involving a very naked Nico and some very suggestive activities, but nothing killed a boner like the prospect of school.

“I hate that fucking alarm,” Nico whined, snuggling closer to Jason.

And nothing brought Jason’s boner back to life like Nico’s ass pressing directly against his dick. Jason reached over and slammed the alarm off, returning the room to silence. “Sleep well?” He asked Nico, kissing his pale cheek.

“You kept waking me up, moaning my name half the night,” the younger boy informed him, intentionally shifting against Jason’s dick once again.

“Mmm, don’t do that or I’ll never get out of bed,” Jason groaned.

“Promise?” Nico turned to face Jason, a devilish smile playing across his lips as he leaned in and pressed them to Jason’s.

Unable to help himself, Jason thrust his hips against the dark haired boy’s, kissing him with more fervor as he did so. He rolled so he hovered over Nico and kissed him some more, rutting against him guiltlessly.

“I should _really_ get out of bed,” Jason mumbled, even though he was ridiculously turned on. There was no way Jason could have sex with his boyfriend and still be out of the door in time for school.

“You really should not,” Nico said, slipping his hands underneath Jason’s pajama shirt. Why he had worn a shirt to bed was a question that would probably haunt Jason for the rest of his life. To drive his point home, however, Nico saw to removing the shirt. With Nico’s hands against his bare skin in such a way, Jason knew it was only a matter of time before he lost all sense of responsibility.

“Fuck,” Jason whispered, removing Nico’s shirt and leaning down to nip at the younger boy’s lips. “I want you so badly right now, Nico. I don’t want to go to motherfucking high school.”

“Then don’t,” Nico suggested, meeting Jason’s waiting kiss. “Your mom isn’t in town. We could have the whole day…”

Jason grinned, already reaching for his cell phone.

“Hey, Jase, whassup?” Leo asked upon answering.

“Don’t wait up for me. Mom is out of town, so I’m not going to be at school today.”

“Jason!” Leo complained, “You can’t skip out on me! Who will I sit with? Piper is ostracizing us, remember?”

“You have other friends, you could sit with them for one day.”

“Jason! Tell me you are not leaving me all alone at school so you can stay home and fuck your boyfriend. Tell me that is not what you’re doing.”

Nico began to suck on his neck, eliciting a small moan from Jason. “You’re the best, Leo, see you tomorrow.”

“Are you having sex right now?!?” Leo exclaimed loudly into the phone.

“God! Of course not. If I were, do you think I’d be on the _phone_?”

“Whatever, Jason. Skip school and fuck Nico, just know that you’re an ass and Piper is my best friend.”

“Sure thing!” He hung up and let the phone fall where it may.

“Now,” he prompted, “Where were we?”

 

…

 

After sex in the bed, a blowjob at the breakfast table, and sex in the shower, Nico promptly fell asleep on top of the bed, barely having taken off his towel. Jason smiled and threw a blanket over him.

Staying home to have sex was perhaps the best way to spend a Monday, Jason mused. He knew Leo would be pissed, though. With a sigh, he retrieved the phone from where he had discarded it on the floor that morning to text an apology and perhaps a promise of doughnuts.

He turned on his phone, however, to find a text message from a random number.

** HEY JASON! (It’s Jason, right?) This is Cecil Castellan from the party a few weeks ago. Remember, you got reeeaally drunk? (Okay, maybe you don’t remember.) Lou Ellen gave me your number. Hope everything worked out between you and your boyfriend! Anyway, I don’t know if you remember Will, my blond friend, is having a party on Friday in Greenwich Village. Lots of sexy gay guys will be there! You should come. **

Jason rubbed his head, vaguely remembering the miserable night of Khione’s party. He remembered Lou Ellen, and the buff guy with the rainbow tattoo. Then there was the blond, who Jason was pretty sure had been Will, and Cecil, the scrawnier brunet boy. Jason didn’t know how to feel about the people he had met that night. They’d try to comfort him, sure, but they’d also let him get drunk off his ass, barely bothered to remember his name, and set him up with gay relatives as if Jason would accept any replacement gay he could find.

All of these things nearly made Jason ignore the message altogether. He had no desire to go to another party ever again, especially not one with alcohol, but something made him hesitate.

Castellan.

Jason had never heard Cecil’s last name before.

_No, there is no way there could be a relation…_

And yet, Cecil _had_ mentioned a gay cousin, hadn’t he? Had his name been Luke? Jason couldn’t remember.

Nico rolled over in the bed, yanking Jason from his thoughts. He didn’t wake, but Jason could almost feel the younger boy’s disapproving glare.

Jason knew Nico’s position on the topic of Luke, and he’d promised not to bring it up again. He also knew that opportunities like this didn’t come around often. Hell, they didn’t come around _ever._

Still, every time Jason had tried to go and do something behind Nico’s back, it had backfired miserably. He would be crazy to try it again.

He would also be crazy to let the opportunity pass by.

**_What’s the address?_ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this long ass chapter was worth the wait. Things are starting to pick up for Jason and Nico, as I'm sure you are all starting to see. I'm really excited to write these next few chapters. BUT, before I can do that, I will probably write chapter 4 of When You Least Expect It, so you can be on the lookout for that. Friendly reminder that feedback on my chapters is always appreciated :)


	22. Losing Grip (On The Verge of Falling)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, sorry about this wait! So so so sorry. You would think that with it being summer I would update faster, but between work and spending time with friends (and okay, a little bit of slacking off) I haven't had much time to write. However, the wait was mostly so long because it took me forever to get through the previous chapter of WYLEI. Writing Murder Suspect is usually much easier. That being said, this isn't exactly my favorite chapter, but keep in mind that everything that happens in it is pretty important to the plot and I couldn't just suddenly change my plot now so, it is what it is. (I mean, I'm not saying it is a bad chapter, either, I just wish it didn't feel so crammed together. Ah, hindsight is 20/20.)

It was a wonder that Jason hadn’t collapsed from some kind of sex overdose yet.

Being a ridiculously horny teenage boy who just recently discovered the joys of sex and having another ridiculously horny teenage boy who just recently discovered the joys of sex for a boyfriend/secret roommate led to a lot of, well, you know.

And his need for Nico wasn’t something that appeared to be curable. Giving in to temptation did not ease the temptation, but rather created an even greater desire. Jason wondered if maybe his body was making up for all of his teenage years wasted. All of the days he could have spent having sex that he’d spent reading.

Not that reading wasn’t great. Reading was awesome… but Nico di Angelo, minus the clothes, plus a bed—or a floor, or a couch, or a shower, or even a kitchen chair—was something else entirely. Jason wished he could go back in time, not to when he was first a teenager—because Nico would have been like, twelve, and that would be totally creepy—but to the beginning of eleventh grade, when he’d first seen Nico. If Jason could have gotten to know Nico back then, fallen for him back then, maybe he wouldn’t have such an insane sex drive now. Or, who knows, maybe he still would. It _was_ Nico, after all.

Nico being his only, Jason couldn’t compare sex with him to anyone else, but he didn’t need to compare. Nico just felt like… it for him. The one he was meant to be with. And for all he knew, they were the two most sexually incompetent people in the world, but he didn’t care. They were learning together, and God, Jason had never loved learning anything more in his life.

The fact that his mother was not home to limit the amount of sex Jason and Nico could safely have certainly helped. After missing school Monday, Jason didn’t think he would have possibly had it in him to have any more sex on Tuesday, but it wasn’t even nine o’clock yet and they’d already done it twice since Jason returned home from school.

“Mmm,” Nico hummed, nuzzling his face in Jason’s neck as the blond returned from throwing away their latest condom, “I love sex.”

“Well I hope you’re satiated for a few hours because I do not think I have the energy or the stamina to go again any time soon.” Jason chuckled, kissing the top of Nico’s fairly sweaty head. “And I have a paper due in a few days that I need to start.”

“What about before bed?” Came the mumble against Jason’s skin. Already they had fallen into a routine of making love before going to sleep each night. It was easily Jason’s favorite part of the day.

“Aren’t you going to be like... sore tomorrow?” Jason asked, partially amused by Nico’s eagerness and partially worried about the toll all of this sexual activity would take on the much smaller boy.

Nico glanced up at Jason and made a big show of rolling his eyes. “Oh no, I’ll have to cancel my morning jog _and_ my trip to the market. There goes my day.”

The blond shoved him lightly. “You are just _so_ funny. Sue me for looking out for you.”

“If I had a lawyer I think I would be tackling bigger projects,” Nico said, wiggling up to peck Jason’s pouting lips. “Love you, hero boy.” Their mouths met again for a longer period of time. Jason would be lying if he said he didn’t melt into the kiss just a little bit. His dick may have been out of commission, but that didn’t make the rest of his body any less interested in Nico.

“Nico,” Jason chided as he felt the younger boy’s hand drifting down Jason’s hips, “I’m going to have to put my pants on, aren’t I?”

“Nooooo,” Nico said, dragging out the word like an innocent child. Which he most certainly was not. Jason found himself needing to actively brush the other boy’s hands away.

“Before bed, I promise.” He kissed Nico’s forehead and then actually did get off the bed to search for his pants.

“I’ve read all of your good books already,” Nico sighed, “How am I supposed to pass the time? Take up knitting? I guess I could make you a fucking sweater or something.”

Jason shook his head, unable to believe that the unfriendly and frigid guy he had first found in the streets was the same person currently sitting naked on his bed. Well, Jason was going to take care of the naked part. He tossed the younger boy his own shorts, deciding it would be easier for both of them if they were at least partially clothed.

“How domestic of you. If you’re really bored, you can help me write my poetry research paper.”

“Something tells me that my essay writing skills are not on your level, oh wise salutatorian.”

Oh, yeah, _that._ Class ranks had officially been locked in—at least for the graduation ceremony—and Jason had indeed kept his spot as second in the class. Nico seemed entertained by this fact, as it gave him even more proof that “my boyfriend is a huge fucking nerd.”

Jason gently flicked Nico’s forehead. “Don’t mock me.” He leaned in and kissed the same spot he had just flicked.

Nico put on his best pouty face. “Just go work on your essay before I use my persuasive skills to change your mind.”

Jason, not doubting that Nico had that ability for even a second, quickly retreated to his desk.

However, he had only just written the first sentence of the paper when the vibration of his cell phone beside him ruined everything.

**_Hey okay it’s Cecil again. I got the address for the party. Sorry for the late response._ **

Jason put the phone down without even reading the address. He still had a lot of nerves over the upcoming party. First of all, because he knew Nico would not want him to go, which would mean Jason would have to lie to him. Then of course there was his goal of contacting Luke, something Nico had forbid him to do. Finally, there was the stress of going to a party at all. A college party. With alcohol. Because Jason had _so_ much fun at the last one he’d attended.

Still, Jason’s better options at this point were officially at zero. There were only two months of school left, only four and a half months before Jason was set to leave for California. And sure, he’d told Nico they could still prove his innocence from there, but could they really? Jason highly, _highly_ doubted it. The thought made his stomach churn. It was easy to get caught up in the romance, the love, the sex, easy to forget how pressing the issue of Nico’s innocence truly was.

Or maybe part of Jason wanted to forget the issue. Maybe he did it intentionally, living in his bubble of happiness with Nico so he didn’t have to deal with the almost unbearable weight on his shoulders. Nico’s safety, Maria’s safety, even Hestia’s safety, rested squarely on his shoulders. How long before his knees began to buckle?

_Stop that,_ Jason chided himself, blowing out a deep breath and trying to focus on his essay. Right now, Jason’s schoolwork was one of the only things he had control over. He couldn’t let his grades slip too, salutatorian or not.

He had to make A’s, he had to keep Nico safe and hidden, he had to get a hold of Luke, he had to lie to the guy he loved, he had to put Hades behind bars. He also had to calm the fuck down before Nico noticed how tense he had become.

Jason focused on his breathing, inhaling and exhaling slow, deep breaths. Just breathing, nothing too technical. However, he wasn’t sure how successful this was, as he felt tense and distracted through the entire introductory paragraph.

In fact, Jason was so preoccupied that it took him over twenty minutes to get a clear thesis out onto his paper. “You know what,” he announced, feeling the need to wipe nonexistent sweat off his forehead, “Maybe I can just work on that in study hall tomorrow.”

Nico perked up, placing whatever book he had stolen from Jason’s shelf to the side. He had put his shirt back on at some point, to Jason’s mild disappointment. The only thing better than Nico reading in their bed was Nico scarcely clothed and reading in their bed. “Come back to bed, then.”

Jason didn’t need to be told twice. He returned to the bed and crawled in next to Nico, resting his head on the other boy’s narrow shoulder. He closed his eyes and let out a hum of relief. Nico was a curious case—the cause of most of Jason’s stress and also the only person or thing that seemed to be able to relieve said stress.

“Tell me what you’re thinking about,” he prompted, wanting nothing more than to lose himself in Nico’s rough, warm voice.

“How good Spider-Man looks in his costume,” Nico replied right into Jason’s ear.

Jason snorted. “No, really.”

“I was thinking about college. Where I’ll want to go, if… you know.” Thankfully, Nico didn’t finish the sentence. Jason didn’t need another verbal reminder of the very real possibility of things taking a turn for the worse.

“Oh really? What were you considering? Something in California, I hope.”

“Well that’s a given, dumbass. I used to think I would go to school here in New York. NYU has a great social work program. But Berkeley’s might even be better.”

Jason smiled and kissed Nico’s head. “Berkeley, huh?”

“If I could ever get in. I don’t know how my transcripts would look with this year being so fucked up. And then there’s the whole scandal that will be surrounding me, and this is the literal best case scenario. But still, Berkeley would be great. I only wish I could go there one day.”

Jason kissed Nico again, on the lips this time. He wanted Nico to have that—a happy future. He wanted Nico to have it so damn badly. Here Jason was, ready to graduate and attend his dream school with only the vaguest idea of what he wanted to study in college and meanwhile Nico had his whole damn career planned out and he might not even get to live it. How was that fair?

“I guess in the meantime you’ll just have to be stuck with me,” Jason said, suddenly feeling the need for a distraction from his distraction. The two kissed again, sharing an embrace so intimate that the whole world could have fallen away and Jason would not have noticed the difference.

“I can live with that in the meantime,” Nico mumbled against Jason’s lips before deepening the kiss.

From there, Jason and Nico kissed their way right down the slippery slope to passionate sex. Well, they didn’t actually get to the sex part though. Before Jason could even get more than the tips of his fingers under Nico’s shorts, the bedroom door swung open.

It _opened._

Jason jumped back, nearly yelping in shock. His clearly intoxicated mother stood in the doorway, swaying slightly from side to side. She eyed the boys on the bed curiously.

“This is… not my room,” she surmised.

Jason didn’t know what to do. When was the last time his mother had come into his room? When had she even gotten _home?_ Had kissing Nico made Jason that numb to his surroundings? Normally Jason kept his door locked just in case his mother ever tried to come in for something during the way but since she had been out of town the last few days Jason had not bothered.

Only now did he realize that had been a terrible mistake. Perhaps the worst one of his whole life.

But Beryl did not seem terrified, shocked, or really any emotion at all. Unless piss-drunk had officially become an emotion. She eyed Nico with mild curiosity, and Jason nearly died of relief when no recognition lit her eyes. Maybe it paid to have a mom too drunk to ever keep up with current events.

“Whass going on here?” She slurred. One glance in Nico’s direction alerted Jason to how hard the younger boy was shaking.

“Uh, this is my friend, N—Nicholas.” Better to lie, just to be safe.

Jason lied so often now. When had it become a second nature to him?

Then Jason’s mother gave Jason himself a once-over, a sour and pinched look morphing her face. It was at that point that Jason realized he never had put a shirt on. Great, how was he about to explain to his mother why he was half undressed and making out with a boy on his bed when the woman didn’t even know Jason liked guys.

Beryl Grace, however seemed wholly uninterested in Jason’s romantic pursuits. Or perhaps she was simply too intoxicated to process the situation. Comforting to know that what’s-his-face had sent her home totally wasted. He was just as much of a winner as Jason had assumed.

“’S a little late to have a friend over, don’t you think?” Was all Beryl uttered when she finally did speak. Jason nodded quickly.

“Yeah, yeah, he was just leaving,” Jason assured her. Then his mother made a noncommittal noise and continued down the hall, toward her own bedroom.

Jason turned back to Nico, wide-eyed, and let out a slow, semi-relieved breath. That could have been a lot worse than it was, but that didn’t make what had just happened okay, either.

“God, I’m sorry. I—I didn’t know when she’d be home. I should have locked the door,” he said, crossing the room to fix that mistake. When the door was locked behind him, Jason leaned back against it and slid to the floor.

“Dammit. God dammit,” he groaned.

Nico remained quiet. In fact, he hadn’t spoken since before Jason’s mother walked in and if he didn’t soon Jason would probably start to panic. Well, to panic even more.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault,” the boy on the bed finally murmured. “If she recognized me, she would have reacted. She didn’t.” Nico didn’t sound too confident in that fact, however.

“She’s probably going to be suspicious for a while,” Jason realized miserably. “I mean, she’s an alcoholic but she isn’t a complete idiot. If she does happen to see your face on the TV or anywhere really, that could be really bad news.” He shuddered at the image of cops bursting into the apartment and dragging Nico away in handcuffs. They’d have to struggle to hold Jason back, as he wouldn’t let them take Nico away without one hell of a fight. The urge to go to the wanted boy and hold him suddenly overpowered Jason. He returned to Nico in three long strides and sat beside him on the bed, wrapping his arms around him. “Really, really bad.”

“What can we do about that?” Nico whispered, a certain hope in his voice indicating that he was counting on Jason to find a solution. How could Jason tell him that he had no idea, no plan, no way to assure his safety? How could Jason admit that he was just as helpless in this situation as Nico himself?

“Well, we… we, um…” Jason stuttered. Nico lowered his head. Jason wanted to scream in utter frustration. How long had he tried to give Nico hope, to make him more optimistic that there could be a way out of this nightmare? Now Nico fucking _needed_ to know things would be okay and Jason had no reassurances to give him.

And then, one idea arose. A bad idea. An idea that Jason was absolutely not at all a fan of.

“You have to leave.”

 

…

 

_“What?”_ Nico exclaimed, his heart coming to a sudden halt. Leave? How could Nico leave?

“Just for a while, so my mom can forget about this run-in. Right now she’ll likely be a little suspicious about meeting you, so we can’t risk her seeing you again. Then, when it’s fallen to the back of her mind, you can come back here. I promise.” Jason placed a reassuring kiss on Nico’s lips, but Nico was incapable of kissing back. In fact, he felt sick—even sicker than he had felt the moment that the drunken Mrs. Grace had stumbled into the room in the first place.

“I don’t have anywhere else to go,” he squeaked, the pathetic truth.

“Yeah, I’m working on that. I’d say you could stay with Leo, but he has his mother, aunt, and three younger cousins living with him. That wouldn’t be ideal.”

Anywhere without Jason didn’t sound awfully ideal to Nico, but he didn’t say that. Maybe Jason had a point. Maybe everything would work out if Nico made himself scarce for a little while, no matter how much he hated the thought of it.

“You don’t think shoving me under the bed for a few days would work?” Nico asked in an attempt at lightening his and Jason’s moods.

“No, and I wouldn’t keep my boyfriend under the bed like some kind of animal.”

“Sooo… what then?” Nico hated the look on Jason’s face. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen the blond look this deflated.

Jason pursed his lips. “Just give me a minute, He released Nico, much to the younger boy’s displeasure, and crossed to where he had left his phone on the desk.

He fiddled with the phone briefly and brought it to his ear. Nico wasn’t sure who looked more anxious, him or Jason.

After a moment, Jason began to speak. “Hey, uh, Chiron, it’s Jason. I have this _huge_ favor to ask…”

 

…

 

Nico kept a hood on and his head low the entire elevator ride down. Luckily, at ten-thirty on a Tuesday night, no one seemed interested in coming and going from Jason’s building. Well, no one except Nico.

Chiron had already pulled up in front of the building when Nico and Jason stepped outside. Despite knowing this was for the best, Nico was struck by the desire to turn around, go back through the doors, and lock himself up in Jason’s bedroom. He was willingly separating himself from Jason, something he had long ago decided he couldn’t bear to do, in favor of staying with a man who he barely knew and who only hesitantly trusted him. No part of that sounded appealing.

“Can’t you come, too?” Nico whispered, turning to Jason suddenly and clutching at his sleeve. “Please?”

“That would be even more suspicious, Nico.” He pressed a firm but brief kiss to Nico’s lips. “I wish I could. I’m working tomorrow though, so I’ll see you then.”

“You promised we’d have sex again before bed,” Nico miserably mumbled, knowing that this was a childish complaint. He had bigger worries than his sex life, yet the thought of spending multiple nights away from Jason made a deep sadness settle into Nico’s bones.

“Sorry,” Jason said, guiding him to Chiron’s vehicle. “I’ll make it up to you.”

In spite of his mood, Nico snorted. “You’d better.” He stuck his tongue out.

Chiron stepped out of the vehicle. “Are you ready to go, then?” He shifted his weight between his legs, and Nico could tell how uncomfortable this made him. Good to know they were on the same page in that respect. Nico added putting yet another person in an extremely risky situation to the list of reasons that he did not want to leave Jason. Why had the bookseller even agreed to this? Did Chiron care about Jason that much?

“I guess I’m ready as I’m going to get,” Nico sighed, nervously adjusting the straps on the backpack Jason had given him. “Thank you so much for doing this.”

“Yeah, Chiron,” Jason piped in. “I owe you like ten million favors for this.”

“And, as I recall, three weeks of work for free,” the older man added.

“Yes. Of course. Even that isn’t enough to pay you back for what you’re doing right now.”

Nico could have sworn he saw the man’s face flush. “Oh, well… this isn’t permanent or anything. He can’t stay for more than a week.”

“It won’t be longer than that, I swear,” Jason told him. His eyes wandered back down to Nico. “I guess you two should leave before anyone happens to pass by.”

Nico’s stomach clenched and by the look on Jason’s face, the other boy didn’t feel any better. “Okay,” he said anyway, glancing uncertainly at Chiron before stretching up to give Jason one final kiss. In response, the blond balled his fingers into the cotton of Nico’s shirt and drew him closer. When they finally broke apart, Nico noticed that Chiron had turned to watch the street instead of them. Wow, kissing in front of other people was awkward. Chiron had known Jason for a long time, according to Jason. Was it weird for him to see Jason in a romantic relationship, or just weird because Nico was the one he was in the relationship with?

_Or maybe he’s just giving you some privacy…_ the less-paranoid part of his brain thought.

“I love you,” he whispered, low enough that their uncomfortable spectator hopefully could not hear.

“I love you too, I love you so much,” Jason did not seem to care if anyone heard. He gave Nico a crushing hug. Literally, Nico heard his back crack. “Don’t worry about this, okay? I’ll handle it.”

“Okay, I won’t worry,” Nico lied, deciding that one more quick kiss on the lips wouldn’t make much of a difference. Then, releasing a deep breath, he opened the passenger door of Chiron’s vehicle and got in.

Jason stood there by the curb the whole time Chiron’s car rolled down the street, and Nico did not look away until the blond was just another speck in the distance.

When the silence in the car became too heavy for Nico to stand, he spoke up. “Sooo… thanks again. I know I already said that, but it really means a lot to me.”

“What else could I do?” Chiron asked with a shrug, keeping his eyes on the road. “Beryl Grace cannot be reasoned with. If she realized who you were, I reckon your whole big secret would be blown, and while I do not want to be involved in all of this, I don’t think I could ever live with myself if I didn’t help you out.”

“Because you care about Jason,” Nico supplied.

“Like he was my own child,” Chiron confirmed. “But I’m not just doing this for Jason. I am doing this for you as well, Nico.”

“You don’t even know me,” he murmured.

“Not technically, no. But we have more in common then you might think. My father, well, he was not the gentlest man. When I was fourteen, he intentionally broke both of my legs. I was in a wheelchair for several months. My siblings and I eventually had to move in with our aunt. I haven’t spoken to the man in over thirty years, now. I’m doing this, Nico, because I got out and I got my happy ending. I want the same for you.”

Nico paused as he tried to make all of those words and their meaning fit inside of his brain. When he was nine, a forceful shove to the floor from Hades had left Nico with a broken wrist. But two broken legs? Nico had a pretty long encyclopedia of types of pain, but even he could not imagine what that would have been like. The mere thought made him cringe.

“It kind of makes you never want to have kids, doesn’t it?” He mumbled, unable to say anything else to Chiron’s declaration.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I never had any of my own, but I’ve been a father figure to many young men and women. It’s my side job.”

Nico couldn’t help but smile as he pictured Chiron being there for Jason, filling the void in his life his parents had left after the death of his father. He was beginning to understand why this man was so dear to Jason, and why Jason trusted him so much.

And these things led Nico to the conclusion that there were certainly worse places to spend the next week.

 

…

 

Jason didn’t go back up to his apartment right away. He took a walk. A long walk.

_Calm down. Calm down. Calm down._ He chanted the two words over and over in his head, hoping desperately that his body would eventually make sense of them.

It was no use. Panic rushed through his system, making him feel lightheaded and nauseous.

Nico. Nico outside of the apartment and away from Jason. Nico unable to reside in the one place that Jason had tried his hardest to make a safe haven for him. Chiron. Chiron risking his neck. Chiron keeping Nico in an apartment only one set of stairs away from a business where everyday, people who thought he was a killer would go to buy books. Could Chiron pull it off? Would Annabeth suspect something was going on? God. He hadn’t even considered the variable of Annabeth when he’d called Chiron.

A million and ten things could go wrong and Jason wouldn’t even _be_ there.

Fuck, when had he started hyperventilating? Jason leaned against the brick wall of a closed restaurant. _Stop panicking, breathe regularly._

_Nico will be fine. Nico will be fine._

Okay, well, he didn’t know that for sure, but he definitely knew that no amount of freaking out would make Nico’s chances any better. It was hard, though—suppressing his nerves when Nico wasn’t there to help keep him subdued. When Nico was around, Jason often found himself in a dream world in which nothing could go wrong. With the younger boy gone, Jason’s head felt… clear. Too clear. Clear enough to realize that if Jason didn’t hurry, if he didn’t try twenty times harder than he’d been trying before, he would lose Nico.

And not just for a week.

Forever.

 

…

 

For the rest of the school week, Jason spent more time at Chiron’s than he did at home. On Wednesday, he’d practically ran from school to Delphi so he could have a few minutes with Nico before his shift started. Then, after about a dozen assurances that he was fine with Chiron and twice as many kisses, Jason went downstairs to work. Luckily, Annabeth had the day off, so it was only Jason and Chiron working down in the store.

At eight, when his shift ended, Jason went right back up those stairs and snuggled with his boyfriend—okay, they may have done more than just snuggle—until Chiron closed up shop at nine o’clock. Then, after having a small dinner and tea with his boss and boyfriend, Jason went home to have another miserable night’s sleep without Nico.

Thursday passed more or less the same way.

Friday, however, Jason had to leave before eight in order to go home and get ready for the party. Seeing the look on Nico’s face when Jason told him he had to go was almost enough to make Jason call the whole thing off, however.

“Already? It’s Friday, I thought maybe you would be able to stay later.” Nico frowned, pressing his face into the blond’s neck.

“I wish. But Leo said if I skipped out on movie night at Calypso’s he would literally ‘tie me to the back of his mom’s truck and drag me down the block’ since I’m the only reason Calypso is letting him go in the first place. And with everything he’s done for us lately, I owe him one.”

Fuck, lying sucked. Lying was the worst. It was a good thing Nico couldn’t see Jason’s face while he spoke because the word LIAR was likely scrawled across his forehead. “Well, I don’t want you being dragged down the block,” Nico sighed, adjusting the position of his head to meet Jason’s lips. “You’d better go before that idiot ruins his chances.”

Jason pulled Nico in for another kiss. The less Nico had to look at Jason’s barely concealed guilt, the better. “Okay, love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“I miss you already,” Jason smirked.

Nico rolled his eyes and shoved Jason away. “You’re so lame.

“I know.” They embraced one more time and then Jason left, relieved that he no longer had to look at the guy he loved and lie right to his face.

 

…

 

“Oh my God! Cecil came through! We had a bet running as to whether or not you’d actually come!” The cheeky blond guy that Jason recalled as Will greeted upon opening the door.

“I confirmed that I was coming. Like, twice.” Jason said, smelling alcohol in the air and trying not to flinch. God, he wished there could have been another way to do this. Still, Cecil had said there would be a lot of ‘sexy gay guys’ at the party. Best case scenario, that meant Luke was here somewhere. Worst case scenario, Luke had packed up, changed his name, and moved to Siberia. Okay, that probably hadn’t happened. Probably.

But what if he really was here? Could Nico’s sort of ex-boyfriend be somewhere on the other side of that doorway? Jason dizzied at the thought.

“Well we’re happy to have you, Man. Welcome to my apartment. I mean, it’s my parents’ apartment, But they are out of town so….” Will started to shove a drink into Jason’s hand, and then apparently thought better of it. “You’re not going to get super wasted and throw up on my mom’s rug, right?”

“Oh, I’m not planning on drinking.”

Will appeared relieved. “Okay, cool. Come on in and join the party.”

The party turned out to be about forty college-aged people, most of which Jason had never seen before. Though, he did notice one of Khione’s older brothers with a solo cup in his hand talking to some girl by the kitchen. And sitting on the couch was rainbow tattoo guy, who Jason was only now realizing he had never learned the name of. And walking toward Jason with a wide—and somewhat drunken—grin on her face was none other than Lou Ellen. “Jason!” She called cheerfully, “How’ve you been? Last I saw of you, you were being dragged out of the room by a very aggressive Latino boy.”

“That was Leo,” Jason chuckled awkwardly. Apparently the night would just be _full_ of drunken memories. “Probably for the best that he did that, I was… extremely intoxicated.”

“Oh, we remember,” Will informed him, popping back into sight suddenly. “I’m glad your friends came to get you, though. Otherwise I probably never would have met that dark haired cutie.”

Jason raised an eyebrow. Dark haired cutie? “You mean Piper?”

Lou Ellen rolled her eyes and Will smiled dreamily. “No, not Piper.”

“Mitchell,” he and Lou Ellen said in perfect synchronization.

“Really?” The name nearly knocked Jason off of his feet. He’d almost totally forgotten about Mitchell’s little trip to New York. Though, perhaps it was a good thing that the Californian boy found another blond to pursue.

“Yes! After you and Latino Dude—Leo, you said?—vanished, Mitch and his cousin came back into the room asking if we’d seen where you’d gone. And I, as the most sober one in the room—”

“The horniest one in the room,” Lou Ellen corrected. Will ignored her.

“—Volunteered to help look for you. And then, when Piper was getting all frantic, I started making conversation with Mitch and well…”

“You two hooked up? Like actually hooked up?”

Will’s dreamy smile turned into a wide grin.

“It’s quite annoying,” Lou Ellen explained to Jason, “Obviously Mitchell went back to California but they text _all the time_ and now lover boy over here is making plans to go to LA for the summer.”

Before Jason could respond, a fourth person joined their little group. Cecil. “Hey, Justin’s here!”

_Oh boy._

“It’s—”

“Relax, I’m kidding, Jason. Hey, man! How’ve you been? How’s the boyfriend?” The way he nearly sang the last word suggested that Cecil was already decently buzzed.

“Oh, he’s good, everything is good,” Jason said, careful not to give too much away. Never mind the fact that everything was most certainly not good with Nico. But at least Cecil was here now, and through Cecil, Jason could hopefully get access to Luke. He scanned the room quickly with his eyes again. What the hell did Luke even look like? Shit, Jason hadn’t thought this through.

_Wait, duh, Luke has a fucking scar on his face, dumbass._

Unfortunately, after another quick look, Jason did not notice anyone with an obvious scar.

“Uh, hello?” Cecil waved in front of Jason’s face. “You there? Dammit, Will I _told_ you not to give him access to the Tequila.”

“Oh, I zoned out, sorry,” Jason shook his head. “What were you saying?”

“I was saying, if everything is so good then why did you not bring him? I think we’d all love to meet the guy you were moping so hard over.”

Jason blushed. “He’s not a fan of parties.”

“Bummer,” Cecil nodded sympathetically, “Well, lucky for you there are a ton of other people here to meet. Don’t worry about still being in high school, either. There are a handful of students from one of the nearby schools here as dates and stuff.”

“Oh,” Jason said, eager to get what he needed and leave. High school students or not, this wasn’t Jason’s scene in the slightest.  “Cool.”

“Here, come with me,” Cecil nodded, “I’ll introduce you to some people.”

After a quick “See you later” to Will and Lou Ellen, Jason followed Cecil into the most packed part of the apartment, where college students mingled and drank and nodded their heads to the music that played through unseen speakers.

For about thirty minutes, Jason was dragged into dead-end conversation after dead-end conversation. He met Drew and Lee and Bryce and Gwen and Dakota—well, he kind of met Dakota, but the guy was too drunk to be a real conversationalist—and a dozen other useless people. Jason was starting to become discouraged, as the night wore on and no person with a scar down his face made an appearance.

Then he collided with a lean dark haired Asian guy and got beer spilled down his shirt. “Oh shit, I’m sorry, man!” The guy exclaimed, taking a step backwards. Jason stilled upon seeing him. The guy, who was probably about Cecil’s age, could definitely be considered good looking. His  tall, thin figure and angular face made him interesting to look at, but neither of those things caught Jason’s attention. It was his eyes, well, mainly his left one, where the dark iris had nearly been completely overtaken by a large, cloudy pupil. A cataract, Jason realized. He’d never seen someone so young with a cataract before.

“Uh, it’s okay, don’t worry about it,” Jason said, even though his shirt would be sticky and smell of alcohol for the rest of the night. “Really, it’s okay.”

“I’m not blind, don’t worry,” the guy said, holding up a reassuring hand. “Not totally blind, at least.”

Jason said nothing.

“My eye, I know you were looking at it. It’s okay, everyone does.”

Cecil, who had gotten momentarily distracted flirting with some girl nearby, suddenly returned to Jason’s side. “Hey Nakamura, I see you met my friend Jason. He giving you a hard time, Jason?” Cecil elbowed his side. “Whoa, dude, your shirt is wet.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“My fault,” Nakamura repeated again. “I was looking at my phone, not where I was going.”

“Typical. Typical. Anyway, Jason, this is my friend Ethan, and by friend I mean the guy who didn’t think it was important to tell me that he was dating my cousin until they’d been together for _six months._ ” Cecil may or may not have consumed quite a bit of alcohol over the last thirty minutes, in addition to what was already in his system. Jason may or may not have encouraged it. Drunk Cecil was a lot more chatty, after all. The more talkative, the better.

Jason had never felt so good about doing something so bad in his life. In fact, he was ready to hug Ethan for crashing into him and thank Cecil for being such a lush. Ethan Nakamura. Dating Cecil’s cousin. Dating Luke Castellan.

Okay, it wasn’t actually Luke but it was fucking progress.

“Literally everyone else knew, you’re just dense,” Ethan reminded him.

“Your cousin,” Jason cut in before the two guys could get more distracted. “Where is he? I remember you talked about him at the last party and he wasn’t there either. Not his thing?”

“Luke spends Friday nights with his grandmother,” Ethan said, a fond smile tugging at his lips. “Always does.”

_Dammit dammit dammit dammit._

New plan, keep Ethan talking until he learned something he could use.

“That’s really sweet of him. You guys all go to NYU, I assume?”

“Yeah, what about you?”

“Young Jason here is still in high school,” Cecil said, throwing an arm around the blond. Jason politely stepped away. Now that he was sober, he fully understood the turn-off of sloppy drunk people. No wonder Nico hadn’t accepted any of his kisses the last time Jason was intoxicated.

“Wow, really? You look older. Where are you going next year, then?”

“Undecided,” Jason lied. “But I was accepted into NYU, I’m just still making my decision.”

“That’s cool, that’s cool,” Ethan nodded. “I’m gonna go refill my drink, be right back.”

“It’s weird, right?” Cecil yelled, close to Jason’s ear like he meant to be whispering. “The eye? It’s like, whoa, freaky stuff. You have to get used to it.”

“Your cousin isn’t bothered by it?” Jason asked, trying to keep the conversation as close to Luke as possible.

“Nah, he’s kind of got a fucked up face, too. Like, a scar.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. Hey, Cecil, what are Luke and Ethan majoring in? Is it the same thing?”

Cecil’s eyebrows drew together. “Uh, no. Why are you asking?”

“Just wondering what their majors were, I guess. I don’t know what I want to do with my life right now.” At least that was somewhat true. Jason had spent so long focusing on the school he wanted to attend that he had never really looked past that, to an actual career.

“Ethan is computer science and Luke is nursing. Hey Jason why do so many gay guys become nurses, that’s pretty funny huh? Shit, is that offensive because you’re gay? Because I’m just saying…”

“You know what, I think I might get myself a drink. Just one shouldn’t hurt,” he lied, “I’ll be back in just a minute.”

“Get me one, too. I’m way too sober!” Cecil hollered. Yeah, sure he was.

Jason found Ethan in the kitchen. “Does Cecil always get really drunk?” He inquired.

“I don’t know. We aren’t actually that close, I normally don’t come to parties. How do you know him?”

“A party,” Jason admitted, averting his eyes. “But I’m not normally the type to come to parties either. My boyfriend and I are home bodies.”

Ethan smirked, “So you _are_ into guys. I kind of picked up on that. It’s my sixth sense… Or should I say fifth and a half.” The smirk broke into a dark chuckle. Jason shifted uncomfortably.

“How did it happen… your eye. If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Nah, it’s cool. Some kind of childhood drama when I was a toddler. My mother said I got hit in the eye but she never really… explained the circumstances.”

“Oh, I see.” Jason slapped his forehead. “Goddamn. I mean, I understand.”

Ethan burst out laughing this time. “‘Oh, I see!’ I should use that sometime.”

“To spare myself from further embarrassment, how about you tell me some stuff about NYU. I want to go into nursing and I hear the school is pretty good.”

“Hey, you know, my boyfriend is in the nursing school. He loves it.”

_I’m in. I’m in I’m in I’m in I’m in._ Jason wasn’t sure whether to feel victorious or guilty that he was a lying so much.

“Really? I know this sounds forward, but do you think I could have his number? My mom wants me to decide sometime soon and it would really be helpful if I could talk to an _actual_ nursing student…”

“Say no more, I got you. I’m sure Luke would be happy to help. Helping people is like, his thing. For better or for worse.”

Jason’s stomach churned. For better or for worse. God, did Jason hope that this time, it’d be for the better.

 

…

 

 

Staying with Chiron was… different.

Nico wouldn’t say it was terrible. Chiron was nice enough, didn’t hover, and after he closed the store he would come upstairs and make dinner—except for Thursday, when Jason cooked. Plus, Nico had free roam of the apartment and could read as much as he wanted.

It certainly wasn’t ideal either. Nico slept alone, cold and empty without Jason by his side. He would remain awake for hours after shutting off the light, and on Wednesday he’d had a horrific nightmare with no one to comfort him after.

And last night. Last night another. Nico trapped alone on earth with the corpses of his loved ones at his feet. That one had certainly been pleasant. The lack of sleep had been slowly taking its toll on him, leaving him irritated and melancholy.

The fact that it was a Saturday morning and Nico was not currently snuggled with his boyfriend in their bed didn’t do much for his mood, either. Nico had kind of expected Jason to show up early this morning, since it was the weekend, but then around eight he’d received a text via Skype that Jason was going to meet with Hestia for brunch to gather more information. At this point, Nico would rather Jason gather him up in his arms and hold him than gather some goddamn information.

On top of all of that, it had been two days since they’d had sex, which felt like a really long time considering that since losing his virginity, Nico hadn’t gone more than twenty-four hours without making love.

There were few distractions here without Jason and that meant no way for Nico to temporarily forget about the reality of his situation. Worse, Jason seemed more focused than ever on proving Nico’s innocence, a fact that left Nico sick with worry.

Which was why he was thankful for today’s distraction, which came in the form of some actual busy work. Since Jason had the day off and Annabeth was getting her wisdom teeth removed, Chiron had approached Nico that morning about helping out in the storage room.

“It’s for employees only,” Chiron assured, “No one goes back there but me.” With the door to the storage room almost directly at the foot of the stairs that led up to the apartment, Nico had agreed to help without much hesitation. He really needed something to keep his mind busy. Unfortunately, the task of unpacking boxes of brought-in books for the Used Novels section was not the most scintillating of jobs. His hands were occupied, sure, but his mind had plenty of room to wander.

Would Jason meet Hestia at her apartment again? God, Nico hoped not. The idea of having his boyfriend so close to Hades—and on a weekend no less—stressed Nico out to the point where he wanted to head into the streets of New York and keep an eye on the big tall idiot himself. Not that Nico would be much of a help if things did take a turn for the worse. What, would he help Jason like he “helped” Luke?

No. No no no. Nico would not think of Luke again for the rest of his stay at Chiron’s. Or better yet, ever. Even if the whole murder case was cracked open, Nico doubted he could ever face his first crush again.

So far in his life, the only crush Nico hadn’t endangered was his little Freshman year crush on Percy Jackson, who had been more Bianca’s friend than Nico’s. With his black hair and sea green eyes, Percy bared absolutely no resemblance to Luke, but when he laughed and joked around, Nico could almost imagine that Percy was Luke. A version of Luke that had never been harmed, never been corrupted by Nico’s life. That, coupled with Percy’s blatant heterosexuality, had kept the crush from getting out of hand.

And then Jason happened. Jason, who tore down Nico’s defenses without even trying. Who tore the defenses down so quickly, Nico did not even notice they were gone until it was far, far too late. Then somehow, when Nico threw his emotional walls back up, Jason was on the inside of them. No, Jason was the wall itself. Nico used Jason as a shield against the horrors of reality. Without Jason, Nico felt far too vulnerable.

That was the most worrisome part of this separation. The knowledge that Nico was starting to forget how to live a life without Jason. There was no way that was normal, and it definitely wasn’t safe. Nico should not have felt so emotionally attached to this guy. Not at sixteen, not under these circumstances.

Nico would have to learn to tough it out. He couldn’t just act like a useless little kid all the time, waiting for Jason to grace him with his presence. And even if Nico couldn’t work on the case, he could still help Jason by not acting so needy and weak all the time. After all, this separation was as hard on Jason as it was on Nico, he didn’t want to make the blond feel worse. Re-teaching himself how to be independent, now _that_ would help Jason.

Bianca’s image floated into Nico’s mind. Bianca laughing, Bianca holding Nico in her arms and telling him everything would one day be okay, Bianca cowering in fear under the hand of their father. Nico had always stepped in. He’d taken the blows so she wouldn’t have to, and in those moments, Nico had felt both incredibly strong and incredibly weak. But ultimately, Nico had failed. Failed with… Luke (fuck, he’d sworn to not think about him) and failed with Bianca.

_Don’t fail. Don’t fail. Don’t fail._

The door opened and Chiron slipped in to the room. “How’s everything going in here?”

“It’s going,” Nico sighed. “A lot of children’s books, so the boxes are pretty packed. But I should be done by lunch.”

The bookseller chuckled. “I really ought to pay you.”

“It’s the least I could do, considering everything you are doing for me. Besides, it’s nice to not just sit around and feel useless all the time.”

Chiron smiled. “Well, when the shop closes tonight, maybe you can help me shelve some of these books.”

“Yeah, I’d be happy to do what I can.”

“What time is Jason coming by?”

“I’m not really sure,” Nico tried not to sound too disappointed, “He just said—”

Daylight suddenly poured into the room. Nico froze. “Hey, Chiron? You in here? Annabeth left her jacket here on Thursday and— _Nico?_ ” Almost as if he had sprung straight from Nico’s mind and into reality, Percy Jackson stood in the doorway.

“Oh fuck,” someone whispered, but Nico couldn’t tell if it came from Chiron, Percy, or himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still no Luke but he's coming! Are you pumped? I'm pumped. I miss that guy. Wonder if he's changed much... Guess you'll see next time! 
> 
> (And by next time, I mean AFTER the next When You Least Expect It chapter. If you don't read it already and you're looking for a way to pass the time between MS updates, I suggest you check it out.)


	23. The Past Is Set In Stone (But The Future Isn't)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, okay, so I am officially the worst. I could write you all a letter as long as this chapter itself apologizing for taking so long to update, but I think you guys would rather read the chapter than that, lol. But seriously, adjusting to college life and forming new friend groups took up a lot of my life these last few weeks, and studying for my midterms which are like, practically going on now. Ugh. Stress. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!

Jason wiped his palms off on his jeans for the third time. Gods, he could not believe he was going to do this. Last night while texting Luke to ask to meet, the reality of the situation hadn’t sunk in. Now it was inescapable. Jason stood outside the doors of an East Village coffee shop where, somewhere inside, Luke was seated, waiting to talk to him about college. Yeah right, if only.

The most important thing was for Jason to keep positive. He knew that what he planned to ask of Luke was huge, but from what he had heard, Luke seemed like a good guy. A good guy who at one point in his life had fairly strong feelings for Nico. He would help. He would. No matter how things had ended between them, surely Luke would not abandon Nico at a time like this, right? Then Jason would have went behind his boyfriend’s back for nothing. He would have gone to that party for nothing. Spent his Saturday morning away from him for nothing.

 _No, no. This is going to work. It has to,_ Jason rationalized. It had to work, and so it would.

Of course, rejection alone wasn’t all that Jason had to worry about. As embarrassing and as stupid as it was, the idea of meeting Nico’s first serious crush intimidated him. If Hades wouldn’t have caught them, would Nico and Luke be together now? Would Luke be the one hiding Nico away in his bedroom, snuggling up to him in bed every night?

He frowned. This was a ridiculous and unnecessary idea to entertain. Because Hades _had_ caught them, and Nico was with Jason, not Luke.

 _Stop being a baby,_ he scolded himself. Worrying about Luke or what would happen once Jason walked through the door would help nothing at this point. So, steeling his nerves and shooting a quick prayer to whatever god was willing to listen, Jason casually strolled into the coffee shop.

_Nothing to see here. Just a casual teenager. Not sleeping with any wanted criminals or anything. Nope._

The place was mostly occupied by college students, some studying, some socializing. Many of them sat in small groups, sipping coffee and laughing and enjoying their weekend. None of them appeared to even glance Jason’s way. He let out a deep breath, trying to force out his nerves while he searched the room for the guy who would be Luke Castellan.

Unlike at the party, Jason found him without a problem.

Really, he was hard to miss.

Luke Castellan sat by one of the windows, late morning light pouring over onto his face as he raised a mug to his lips. And Jason’s first thought was that the guy was seriously good looking. His hair was a sandy blond and about the same length as Jason’s, but styled better in that unintentional, windblown look that Jason could never pull off. His skin already showed signs of a summer tan, even though it was only barely April, and his clear blue eyes and angular cheekbones made whatever he was thinking about appear especially profound.

He looked almost perfect.

The guy turned his head slightly to search the room, giving Jason a better view of the far side of his face. And that was the moment Jason’s stomach dropped. No, not dropped, plummeted. Because from the corner of his left eye down to his chin, an ugly jagged line interrupted the otherwise smooth skin. The cut that made the scar had been done by a fairly small knife from what Jason could tell, as the cut itself wasn’t too thick, but it was also clear that the attacker had not tried to make the line straight. Around the scar, Luke’s skin was still slightly puckered, as if it desired to sink into the actual line and become part of it. Jason could barely imagine what it had looked like two years ago, when the wound was fresh. In fact, he was beginning to feel faint.

There was no question about Nico’s story at this point. The proof was literally right in front of him.

Once his eyes landed on the scar, it was all Jason could look at. The good looking guy that Jason Grace first noticed now cowered behind the brutal mark. Jason would be lying if he said it didn’t make him a little more nervous about going against Hades. Hearing about something and seeing it with your own eyes were two vastly different things, after all.

When Jason realized how long he’d been staring, he shook his head and started forward. He just wouldn’t look at the scar. He wouldn’t allow himself to.

 As Jason walked, he subtly packed Jason Grace away, trying on the skin of another, more casual person. One with far less to hide.

After a moment, Jason’s approach caught Luke’s eye, which Jason could feel all the way into his bones. There was something almost unnerving about the way those icy blue eyes studied him. However, as Jason got closer, the stare was replaced by a friendly smile.

Jason was not sure which expression made him more worried.

“Uh, hi, are you Luke Castellan, by chance?” Jason asked despite his nerves when he finally did reach the table. He’s rehearsed this at least thirty times.

“Last time I checked,” Luke said, a light but welcoming smile tugging at his lips. “And you’re John Grayson, I’m assuming.”

“Last time I checked,” Jason replied, forcing a similar smile on to his face, even as his hands shook. He hadn’t been sure which name to give to Luke. He’d introduced himself to Ethan as Jason, but it appeared that Ethan had not mentioned the name to Luke. If they ever did talk about it, Jason could pretend that Ethan had been the one confused. Jason, John Grayson, an easy mistake to make. Even if Nico couldn’t know about this, Jason figured he would feel more comfortable to know that Jason was at least being cautious.

Though, he still wished he hadn’t created such a stupid and obvious alias for himself.

“Then please, sit down,” Luke motioned at the available chair, but Jason’s feet couldn’t move. When Luke smiled, the expression pulled at his scar. The scar wasn’t grotesque or anything, but Jason couldn’t stop picturing the circumstance in which Luke had received it. Did he scream? How long did it take to heal? What did his sweet grandmother that he sees every week think?

“Unless you… prefer to stand?” Luke raised a brow at the still standing teen.

 _Sit down, idiot._ Jason scolded himself, finally managing to lower himself into the chair opposite of Luke. “Sorry, I just—”

“I’m guessing Ethan didn’t warn you, huh?” The mild amusement dimmed on Luke’s face, making Jason’s stomach twist. Was it so obvious that he was examining Luke’s scar? Oh God, what he must have thought of Jason...

“I—I wasn’t—”

“It’s okay. It happens. Do you want to get something to drink?”

“Yeah, I’ll go get that really quickly,” Jason said, abruptly standing up once again. He turned and walked up to the counter, releasing a deep breath as soon as he was far enough away. He needed to get a hold of himself. Meeting Luke should not have been any different than talking to Hestia or Hazel, but it was. Whether that was because of his relation to Nico, or what had happened because of it, Jason did not know.

It wasn’t that Jason was afraid to end up like Luke. He’d already put his life on the line for Nico, putting his face on the line wasn’t even a question. But how did Luke see it? Luke probably had no clue what he had jumped into when he kissed Nico. They hadn’t even been in an official relationship and Luke’s appearance was forever changed because of it. All of the pain, physically and emotionally, and for what? A summer fling?

Would Luke ever try to help Nico after everything he already went through because of him? Would he ever risk his life, after already feeling Hades’ wrath?

No, no, he had to. Jason needed to have complete faith in that. Because if he didn’t believe Luke could do it, how could Luke himself ever believe?

Jason ordered a drink and then returned to the table.

“So, you’re trying to decide about college, where have you been accepted?”

Despite the fact that the drink was still steaming hot, Jason took a long sip of his coffee while contemplating what to say next. Should he continue on with the fake story of being an interested nursing student, or get right to the point? Jason didn’t want Luke to freak out in front of the entire coffee shop, but he also couldn’t think of a good way to get the guy alone.

“Actually,” Jason said, shifting in his chair. “I already know where I’m going to school. And I’m not interested in nursing.”

Luke’s friendly face twisted in confusion, making the scar move and wrinkle once again. “Then why—”

“Your scar, Hades di Angelo gave it to you, didn’t he? And you had to lie to the cops about it.”

Luke froze, his confusion giving way to nervousness and fear. “H—how do you—”

All of the warmth and smiles had disappeared, replaced with wide eyes and quivering hands. The pit in Jason’s stomach grew. Maybe that had been a little _too_ to the point. “Sorry, that was a little sudden. I shouldn’t have said it like that.” He lowered his voice before speaking. “I haven’t been completely honest with you, or with your boyfriend, I’m afraid. I’ve actually been trying to find a way to contact _you_ because… I was a good friend of Bianca di Angelo. And I know you were… involved with the family for a time. With Nico.”

Luke’s hand ghosted over his scarred cheek. “That was quite a while ago. Nico, we…” Luke trailed off. “Bianca told you about it?”

No. Not Bianca. Jason barely knew her. Nico. Nico told him. _And he’s still alive. And he’s still in New York. And he needs your help. I need your help to save him. I love him. Even if you never did, I do. I can’t lose him._

Jason nodded. “Once. I know you probably don’t like to think about it, I can’t even imagine.”

Luke’s eyes went nowhere near Jason’s. In fact, they seemed to be looking nowhere at all. Looking into the past, perhaps. “I never told anyone. Not even Ethan knows the truth. But you… Why exactly did you want to talk to me, John?”

“Because I think Nico is innocent, and I’m hoping you think the same thing.”

“Jesus, John,” Luke sighed, rubbing his forehead. “What damn difference does it make?”

Jason nearly screamed. _It makes all the fucking difference!_

“Just answer the question, please. I need to know.”

Luke exhaled deeply. “The Nico I knew talked about his sister like the whole universe revolved around her. He wouldn’t have dreamt of hurting her at all, let alone killing her. I don’t believe that’s changed.”

Part of the weight on Jason’s shoulders floated away. At least Luke did not hate Nico enough to think he would stoop to killing his own sister. “Then who do you think killed her?”

“I’m not a cop,” Luke snapped, angling the scarred side of his face away from Jason. “And I don’t think you are, either.”

“What if I tell you that I know Hades is the real killer?”

“I’d tell you to run for the damn hills. You’re playing a dangerous game, John Grayson. Trust me, I know.”

“I’m not running,” Jason leveled. “Hades deserves to pay for what he did. The problem is, I can’t bust him all on my own. But you could help me, you could bear witness to—”

Luke’s eyes suddenly seemed icier than ever as they met Jason’s. “No. No way in hell. You have some nerve, do you know that? You call me here under false pretenses, dredge up my past, and now you want me to blab to the police about a guy who cut up my face just for liking his son? What do you think he would do to me if I tried to fucking convict him? What do you think he would do to _you?_ ”

“I don’t care about that. Clearing Nico’s name is more important.”

Luke’s expression changed then. Aggression turned to understanding. “You aren’t doing this for Bianca, are you? It wasn’t her you were close to. It’s Nico.”

“You’re right,” Jason conceded. At this point, he’d probably confess to anything if he thought it would help Nico’s chances.

There it was. Out in the open. But what would Luke do with it?

Long fingers pushed through blond hair. Shoulders slumped. A deep breath was released. “Look,” Luke said, nearly whispering. “Nico is a good kid. He doesn’t deserve all the shit life throws at him. And I wish things could be better for him, I do. I don’t resent him for what happened to me but I—I can’t—“ Luke averted his eyes. “I can’t go down that road again. I can’t do that to Ethan and especially not my grandmother. Not again. I’m sorry.”

 _No. No no please no._ Jason’s mouth felt suddenly dry, as if his cup were full of cotton, rather than coffee. Luke wasn’t going to help? He wouldn’t speak up for Nico’s sake? How could he know all that he did about Nico and not want to help him?

_Because he liked Nico, he didn’t love him. I’m the one who loves him. I’m the only one reckless enough to try. I’m on my own._

“John,” Luke said, looking back to Jason with guilt in his eyes. “You need to realize what you are up against. If Hades catches on to you, you will die. Leave it alone. You have so much to live for still, you’re only a teenager.”

“So is Nico,” Jason growled, standing suddenly and storming away from the table.

 

…

 

“Nico?” Percy repeated, shutting the door to the storeroom and stepping toward the very startled Nico di Angelo. “What are you doing here?”

Nico sent Chiron a panicked glance. “Uh—I—”

“Is this real? Have you been here the whole time? How do you even know Chiron?”

“Well—um—”

“I have been freaking out and you’ve been hiding right under my nose all along?”

Nico huffed. He’d forgotten how agitating his former crush could be. “Jesus, Percy, could you stop asking questions for one minute? Or do you not want me to explain?”

“Okay, okay. I think I need to sit down,” Percy said. Nico agreed. The green-eyed boy looked a little faint, not that anyone would blame him.

As he lowered himself to sit cross-legged on the floor, Nico chewed his lip. He couldn’t do this. Couldn’t explain things without Jason. Couldn’t portray the story like Jason could. Would Nico even sound believable? He’d never been good with words. But he couldn’t exactly ask Chiron to tell the story, it was not his to tell.

 _Look calm, even if you don’t feel calm,_ Nico ordered himself. _Handle this how Jason would handle it._ Gods, Nico ached for Jason to be here right now.

Except he wasn’t. Nico sighed and decided to sit down as well. He felt awkward hovering over Percy.

“I… need to get back to work,” Chiron announced, slipping from the room with frown lines distinct as pen marks on his face. This would surely be the last time the bookseller offered to help Nico.

“So… by the way you’re reacting, I guess you already believe I’m innocent.”

Percy nodded enthusiastically. “Of course I do. I don’t know who killed Bianca, but I know it wasn’t you. Anyone with half a brain should know that. Apparently no one at school has even half a brain, though.” A small frown touched his lips.

Typical Percy. He might have been even more passionate about his convictions than Jason.

“Well, after she, Bianca, after she—ya know, I had to escape. I didn’t really have anywhere to go, though, and I didn’t want to leave the city without my mother. I spent a few weeks hiding out in the streets, trying to disguise myself as a homeless person, I guess. Basically I was slowly starving and freezing to death.”

“So then Chiron found you? How long have you been here?”

“No, it didn’t happen like that. I’ve only been here for a few days, and I’m not staying here much longer.” He wasn’t sure about mentioning Jason if he didn’t have to. Even though he trusted Percy, keeping his long term location a secret would likely be better for both Jason and Nico.

“What? You can’t just go back into the streets! That’s just asking to get caught! Don’t be crazy. Do you need somewhere to stay? You could stay with me. I mean, it would probably be hard to explain to my mom but I bet we could get her to understand and—”

“No.”

“But my mom thinks you’re innocent too, we can help you with—”

“No.”

“Well you can’t just roam around on your own.”

“I’m… not. I have another place to stay.”

“Really, where?”

“A place. It isn’t important.”

“You could just be bluffing. I don’t believe you.”

“Believe me or don’t, it doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t know where I am staying.”

“You don’t trust me, Nico?” Percy frowned. “I’d never tell anyone where you are. I’m your friend. You know that, right? That I’m your friend?” 

Nico huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, I guess I know that but—Dammit, enough with the puppy eyes. What is it with you and Jason just thinking you can get anything because of your—” Percy’s puppy look was replaced by wide-eyed confusion Shit. Shit. Nico had admittedly had Jason on the brain but he didn’t think he was distracted enough to just blab his name out.

“Jason? Jason who?”

_Fucking bonehead move, di Angelo._

“No one, it isn’t important,” Nico quickly dismissed. But Percy didn’t seem to hear him.

He looked around the storage room, at the door that Chiron had left through. Realization crawled into his features. “Jason Grace. He works here… That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”

Nico said nothing.

Apparently, he didn’t need to.

“Oh my God,” Percy breathed. Then, at a normal volume, “Has he known where you are all this time? Is that where you’ve been staying? If so, then why are you here now? I didn’t even think you two knew each other. Does anyone else know about this?”

Nico blew out an exasperated breath. Percy Jackson and his goddamn questions…

 

…

 

Jason didn’t slow his pace as he fled the café, as if he could erase his memory of the morning simply by out-walking it. Forget Luke Castellan.

Luke knew Nico. He’d cared for him before. He’d known about Nico’s struggles, he had felt that pain himself. But now he would not stand up for him. Did that make Luke a coward? Or Jason a fool? Jason couldn’t force someone to love Nico, and maybe he had been irrational to think he could. How many people could he expect to endanger their lives for one teenage boy? How many people had Jason himself endangered already on his mission to protect Nico?

But on his own, would Jason ever be able to save him? What was the right thing to do?

Jason had already made his decision, but he couldn’t decide for everyone else. And what if he could?

“Dammit,” he muttered, balling his fists at his sides. “Dammit. Dammit.”

What was the point of all of this? Was there any hope in the entire fucking world? Or was Nico going down, and Jason happily tumbling after him?

The ringing of his cell phone tore Jason from his thoughts. Every time his phone rang these days, he worried it was Chiron, calling to deliver bad news about Nico. He stopped abruptly, causing someone walking by to nearly collide with him. While Jason withdrew his phone from his pocket, he heard the passing man curse at him.

To Jason’s surprise, this call did not come from Chiron, or Leo, or Thalia, or anyone that Jason would have accepted to hear from.

What did Percy Jackson want? Jason stepped into the nearest side street and answered the phone. “Hey, Percy,” he greeted, attempting a casual tone, “What’s up?”

“Actually,” a voice that was definitely not Percy Jackson said, “It’s Nico.”

Jason’s cell phone nearly fell from his hands. “N—Nico? What—what are you—?”

“I’m fine,” he assured Jason, “But you should probably get to Delphi before this guy talks my ear off.”

 

…

 

When Jason arrived at Delphi, he found a sign declaring the store as “closed for lunch”. He yanked out his personal key that Chiron had just recently given him and made his way into the building. The store itself had no signs of Nico, so Jason made his way quickly to the stairs leading up to the apartment, his heart pounding wildly.

How the hell had Percy found Nico? Percy, out of all the people in the world. Even though Nico had claimed to be fine on the phone, and he had sounded normal, Jason knew that his boyfriend likely felt incredibly uneasy about this new development. Jason did too.

He opened the apartment door to find Chiron, Percy, and Nico seated in the living room. Nico stood immediately, almost on instinct, and stepped toward Jason. Jason made it across the room to him before the boy had a chance to take another step.

“What’s going on?” He asked, drawing Nico into a hug and squeezing him tight. Without meaning to, thoughts of Luke swirled into his head.

 _I deceived you, Nico. I should have been here this morning, not with Luke. It’s my fault this happened._ He didn’t deserve this hug.

“Funny,” Percy mused, interrupting Jason’s thoughts. Jason had nearly forgotten the other dark haired teenager was there. “I’ve been asking the same question for the last hour.”

Jason released Nico from his arms and faced the teenager still seated on the couch. “Um, hey. How’ve you been?”

“Well I was surprised, and then happy, and then surprised again, and now I’m confused. Nico told me some stuff but he didn’t want to explain more until you got here.”

Jason glanced back at Nico, prompting him to fill in the gaps in Percy’s story. “He knows that after I ran away I was in the streets for a while, and that I’m staying with you now, and he knows that I’m innocent. But technically, he says he already knew that.”

“Because I did,” Percy insisted. “But Jason could tell you that. Since we talked about it, on more than one occasion,” he frowned. “Kind of sneaky of you, Jason.”

Jason imagined he looked quite guilty. “Uh, yeah.”

“When you found Nico… why didn’t you call the cops? I’ve never even seen you two talk before.”

Jason glanced at Nico and found the shorter boy watching him back. He seemed to be done with conversation for now. Jason couldn’t blame him, this was the most people he’d been in a room with in months. Chiron, meanwhile, sipped his at his tea. He had not said anything since Jason arrived, but he looked exhausted, physically and mentally. _I owe him a muffin basket or something,_ Jason thought. Then, his eyes fell back to Percy. How much more would Jason have to deal with today?

“Well, I don’t know. I had my doubts, I guess, about the stories they kept showing on the news. It always seemed to me like Bianca and Nico were so close. So when I found Nico lying in that alley, I wasn’t sure what to do. He just looked so helpless so I decided to bring him to my apartment and clean him up.”

“But that was months ago, wasn’t it?” Percy inquired, leaning forward. Jason shifted uncomfortably. He could imagine what Annabeth saw in Percy. He was alert, observant, persistent, curious by all means.

“I couldn’t just let him go wandering back into the streets. I mean, especially after learning about Nico being framed by Hades and then there was the cold weather to think of and we just… became friends.”

“What about Nico’s dad?”

Jason felt Nico tense beside him. “I didn’t mention that part,” he breathed.

“Oh,” Jason uttered. “My bad.”

“Oh my gods,” Percy stilled. “Are you saying… That Bianca’s killer is…” He didn’t finish, but Nico nodded anyway. Jason resisted the urge to pull the especially pale boy into his arms again. Percy apparently didn’t know about the extent of Jason and Nico’s relationship, and for safety purposes, Jason assumed that Nico wanted to keep it that way.

“That’s despicable,” Percy scoffed, crossing his arms. “We aren’t going to just let him get away with that, right? I mean, he’s walking free while Nico here is stuck hiding out from the whole country.”

“Jason and I are… handling it to the best of our abilities, but it’s been difficult,” Nico admitted, his eyes drifting to the windows. When it seemed that he would not add anything else, Jason spoke up for him.

“There is strong evidence against Nico, and he always worries that my attempts at clearing his name are too risky. So we’re kind of stuck.” Shit, Jason hated saying that out loud. Hated the sad slouch of Nico’s shoulders at the word stuck. After all, Jason was supposed to get Nico out of this mess. How many times had he told him he would do it?

“Well is there anything I can do to hel—”

“No.” Nico practically yelled the word. “No more people helping me. No more people putting themselves in danger. No.”

“Chiron is helping, though.”

“He’s keeping the secret, he’s not trying to bring Hades down,” Jason supplied.

“And I’m not fond of this arrangement, either,” Nico finished.

“I’ve already told you that I don’t mind, Nico,” the bookseller announced, speaking for the first time since Jason arrived. “Although today was certainly an unforeseen event.”

 _This is all my fault, if I’d just locked the damn bedroom door,_ Jason thought miserably.

“How did you find out about Nico, Chiron? And why is Nico here right now and not at Jason’s?” Percy’s questions came quicker now.

The other three males in the room exchanged uncertain looks. No one quite knew how much they should keep from Percy. Though, Jason didn’t see how Percy Jackson knowing the full story would be any less risky than Leo, who had known for weeks now and said nothing.

“I know you probably have a million questions, Percy. But it’s really better for your safety if you don’t know the answers. The less you know, the better off you are.” Nico’s voice sounded tight, almost.

“Okay, okay fine. But could you answer just one question?” The green eyed boy bargained, rising from the couch.

“Yeah, fine, one,” Nico allowed.

Percy pursed his lips for a second before speaking. “Are you two a thing?”

Chiron choked on his next sip of tea.

“Wh—what would make you ask that?” Jason asked, standing up straighter than before. Had he been looking at Nico _that_ much? Or had something Nico done tipped him off? It wasn’t that Jason and Nico’s relationship was the darkest secret they kept, but maybe they weren’t nearly good enough at keeping it.

“Well, I mean, you two have been holding hands since Jason arrived.”

Jason looked down at the hand in question. _Oh._ How the hell had he not noticed that? Was touching Nico so instinctual that he honestly didn’t notice it anymore? And Nico didn’t either?

“Oh, um, about that—” Nico stuttered, quickly ripping his hand from Jason’s.

Percy chuckled. “I don’t care if you are, you know. You’ve clearly gotten to know each other really well, it happens.”

Nico’s blush went all the way to his shirt collar. Was he embarrassed? Certainly he wasn’t embarrassed to be dating Jason, he’d made that clear enough in the past, but was he embarrassed that Percy knew? Well, Percy _was_ technically the first person Nico had a connection with to find out about the relationship. Leo, Thalia, Chiron, those had all been Jason’s close people. They’d all known that Jason was gay. Had Percy known that about Nico?

Jason was going to guess no.

“Yeah, um, we’re together,” Nico confirmed softly, looking back to Jason. The gentle affection in his eyes made Jason want to make Nico blush for completely different reasons. And for a second, Jason forgot about his terrible morning and thought only about how much he loved the boy beside him.

Chiron muttered something unintelligible into his tea, though Jason picked out the words “kissing” and “my couch.” He sent the older man a guilty grin.

“Well I guess Annabeth was right about you liking guys, though you know you could have told me, Nico. I used to think you actually had a crush on Annabeth,” he laughed. “Guess I was pretty dumb, huh?”

Nico laughed too, but from him it sounded less natural.

“I’d say.”

 

…

 

It was late afternoon before Percy left.

“I’d like to stop by and see you two again sometime, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t know—” Nico began.

Jason spoke over him. “Sure. We’d like that. Just call.”

“And I’ll try to talk to Hazel, too,” Percy declared, having earlier heard the story about Jason’s fail to get close to her. “Maybe I can get her to give you another chance, if you won’t let me help any other way.”

“That would be great,” Jason told him. If he couldn’t count on Luke as a witness, could his original incriminating evidence plan work? What other things could he even use against Hades?

“Yeah, thanks Percy,” Nico reiterated. “And thanks for keeping this a secret. We know it’s a lot to ask…”

“You’re my friends. Both of you. I wouldn’t dream of betraying your trust. And I’m happy, knowing you are all right and that you, ya know, have each other and all.”

When Nico smiled, it was genuine, if not a little embarrassed.

They exchanged a few more parting words and then Percy was gone, descending the stairs back into the shop.

The door fell shut behind him and Nico immediately curled his fingers into Jason’s shirt and pulled him down for a kiss.

“I’ve been waiting to do that all afternoon,” he admitted after their lips parted, resting his head in the crook of Jason’s neck. “Hi, by the way.”

“Hi,” he pressed a kiss to the top of Nico’s head.

“Why did you tell Percy he could see me again? We’re supposed to be protecting our friends, Jay.”

“Because,” Jason said, tipping Nico’s chin up to meet his eyes, “You need more social interaction than just me all the time. Think of it as preparation for after we clear your name.”

If _we clear your name…_ Jason didn’t mention that part.

“Everything okay? You seem tense,” Nico noted, running a hand—in fact, the guilty hand-holding hand from earlier—down Jason’s chest. In another circumstance, the contact may have made Jason shiver.

“Um, yeah,” he said, knowing Nico likely saw through it. He decided to bring up a thought that occurred to him earlier in hopes of removing suspicion. “About Percy, did you ever have, like, a crush on him?”

The younger boy’s blush returned. “Apparently it was pretty clear to everyone except Percy.”

“Well, when you get all red like that,” Jason chuckled, brushing a finger over Nico’s flushed cheek.

“Percy’s handsome, but I never crushed on him too seriously. Not after, you know… Obviously you have nothing to worry about.”

Jason smiled. “Aw, you mean I _can’t_ threaten to kick Percy’s ass if he tries to get with you?”

Nico shoved the blond’s arm and laughed. “Like you would.”

“Who knows? Maybe I’m a little worried about my competition,” Jason teased, trying to push Luke’s face out of his mind as he spoke.

Two pale hands were suddenly clutching at the collar of Jason’s t-shirt, tugging in him so his nose and Nico’s nearly touched. “What competition?” Nico replied, meeting Jason’s lips for a kiss that lasted much longer than the first, only breaking in Chiron’s guest room when Jason’s shirt was pulled over his head.

 

…

 

“It’s almost eleven,” Nico whined, wrapping an arm around Jason’s naked torso. “Can’t you just stay the night? Or take me home with you? I miss sleeping together.”

Jason’s smart retort was cut off before he could even open his mouth all the way. “Jason Grace if you try to make a sex joke, I swear—”

“Am I that predictable?” Jason mused, dropping a quick kiss on Nico’s cheek. “And I should probably go home, staying would be unwise.”

“Your mom is probably gone already anyway,” Nico reminded, tightening his hold on the blond.

“I mean unwise because that was our last condom,” Jason informed. “Also, I have a shitload of homework to do.” Also, he had a lot of thinking to do about what to do about clearing Nico’s name now, and he still had not allowed himself enough time to properly panic about it.

“Stupid useless condoms,” Nico mumbled into Jason’s chest. “Not like either of us even _has_ an STD. Over-responsible dork. Fucking homework.”

Jason chuckled. “Just two more nights, I promise.”

Nico continued to pout. “Then stay a little bit longer.”

The way he said it, like Jason’s presence could really make everything better, made something inside Jason crack. _I’ve failed you,_ Jason thought miserably. _I’ve failed you and you don’t even know it._

“Okay,” he whispered, so Nico would not hear his voice shake. “Ten more minutes.”

Then he wound his arms and hugged Nico tightly, as if letting go for even a second would mean losing him forever.

Who knew, maybe it would.

 

…

 

Walking back home alone, Jason found it impossible to quell his panic.

Hopelessness wrapped its thick fingers around his throat, nearly suffocating him.

If Jason could not clear Nico’s name, where would that leave them? Yes, Jason would love Nico either way, and he wouldn’t abandon him, but how long could they really carry on that way? Jason would have to manage to not only sneak Nico across the country, but hide him from everyone in California. Another group of friends who could never know that Jason and Nico were together. Another group of people Jason would have to lie to. Would he have to keep Nico locked inside forever? Was that really any different than prison? How long could Nico take it before absolutely losing his mind? And if Nico lost his mind, would he still even be the guy Jason fell for? And even if he remained sane, how long until he began to resent Jason? Jason, who had failed to clear his name like he’d once promised. Jason, who could leave the apartment whenever he pleased.

Jason’s breaths came wildly, deep and sharp completely out of his control. He ducked into an alley to try and calm down, but the feeling of hysteria only grew.

All of those thoughts, that was if Jason and Nico were lucky. The alternative was Nico getting caught. Nico being arrested and sent to prison for the rest of his life, never able to be with Jason again. And what if Jason was arrested too? It was highly likely at this point. And then Jason would kiss both Nico and Stanford goodbye. Exchange his graduation gown for a prison jumpsuit. And what would the point of everything be then? Experience an epic love for a few months, get laid, and then your life was just over? Bars and concrete walls forever? For both of them?

No, Jason probably wouldn’t be arrested. He was far more likely to end up dead. Separated from Nico in the worst and most permanent of ways.

Shit. Shit. Jason felt dizzy. His heart thudded so loudly, Hades di Angelo could probably hear it across the city, like a beacon daring the man to come find him.

Jason slumped against the wall of a building, struggling to breathe normally. He was gasping, literally gasping for air. Fuck, what the hell was wrong with him?

 _A panic attack._ Jason realized. He was having a complete and total meltdown, even worse than the day of his first big fight with Nico. The worst one he’d had since the day Thalia moved to California.

Actually, that gave Jason an idea.

“Hey bro, how’s it going?” His sister greeted upon answering the phone.

“I’m having a panic attack,” Jason wheezed. “I—I can’t calm down.”

“What’s wrong?” Thalia’s voice became instantly serious. “Where are you right now? Is Nico okay?”

“Everything is wrong. I’m—I’m a total fuck up. I can’t do anything right, Thals. I just want to save him. I just—I want to save him. I love him so much. I’m supposed to protect him. What if I can’t? I— I—”

“Okay, let’s try and take it down a notch. Jason, I need you to focus on getting your breathing under control, all right? Slow, deep breaths.”

Jason tried to force Nico from his mind and think only of breathing.

Easier said than done.

After tedious minutes of Thalia trying to calm him down, Jason finally started to feel himself again.

“Better?” His sister inquired.

“Yeah, a little.”

“Okay, now that you’re calmer, tell me what’s wrong.”

 

…

 

“So now everything is a huge fucking mess and I don’t know how to get out of it and I don’t know how to tell Nico and I just feel like I’m constantly failing.”

“You’re not constantly failing, Jay. It sounds like you’re doing all that you can, that’s enough.”

“No. It’s not.” Jason’s voice cracked. His throat felt tight. Fuck, were his eyes watering? He wiped a tear off of his cheek with his free hand.

“Hey,” Thalia’s voice was softer than ever, “Are you crying?”

“Uh, yeah, apparently,” Jason sniffled. “I guess I’m just all around pathetic, huh?”

“Your mom’s an alcoholic, your boyfriend is wanted for murder, and you’re two months out from graduation, it’s okay to feel a little overwhelmed,” she told him.

She was at least right about one thing—Jason did feel overwhelmed. He’d spent weeks carrying burden after burden on his back, and not just his, but Nico’s too. It was enough to make anyone buckle.

“But you shouldn’t feel like you have to carry all of this on your own, Jason. Nico is right there with you. And you just said that this Percy guy wants to help, and Leo has already proved a master detective in the past—”

“Not funny,” Jason interrupted.

“The point still stands, though. Stop acting like the whole world is on your shoulders. It isn’t. If you’re freaking out, you should talk to Nico about it.”

“But I can’t. I betrayed his trust, he’d be furious. With everything going on right now, I can’t have him mad at me, Thals. I just can’t.”

“Okay, fine, don’t do something that would stress you out more. But, if you want my advice, I don’t think Nico would stay mad at you for long. He loves you. I mean, he _really_ loves you from what you say.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Stop making me feel guilty.”

“Look, just go home and relax for once. Don’t think about school, don’t think about the case. Read one of your books. When was the last time you finished a book?”

Jason scratched his head, “Well, it’s been a while,” he had to admit. His studies, the murder case, and a newly established sex life hasn’t left much downtime.

“Thought so. Now, are you going to pull it together and enjoy a night off or am I going to have to fly up to New York and slap you until you get a grip?”

“I think you’ll have to fly up to New York… And stay… for the rest of the school year.”

“Do you want me to flunk out of Stanford before you even get here, bro? You’ll see me in two months for graduation. I promise. Flight is booked and everything.”

“Good, I miss you. Nico does too.”

“Well, I _am_ the best sister ever,” she laughed. “I gotta go. Talk to you later.”

“Yeah, later.” When he hung up the phone, Jason almost smiled. Almost.

His dad was dead, his mom was more a nuisance than a parent, but he still had Thalia. Thalia, waiting for him in California. He couldn’t give up now. Couldn’t fall apart now.

With renewed energy, Jason started toward home once again.

Maybe he could call Hestia in the morning to see if she had learned anything since they last talked. Maria was still a potential witness, if Jason could just get close to her. She loved Nico, he was her son, surely she would help. And if Percy could get Hazel back on board…

But those thoughts could wait. Thalia told him to take the rest of the night off. He could do that. He would act as if this were a normal Saturday night, or what normal was before Nico came into Jason’s life.

When he arrived back at his apartment building, it was as if his rediscovered normality had slapped him right in the face. There, standing outside of the front doors, were two students from Jason’s school. One male, one female, and Jason recognized both of them as being in his grade. The girl, with her carroty orange hair and paint splattered clothing, was the mildly eccentric Rachel Dare. She and Jason had English and Advanced Drawing together, but he’d never seen her outside of school. Did she live in the same building as him all this time? The guy with her immediately put a scowl on Jason’s face. With his greasy blond hair and even greasier personality, there was no mistaking Octavian. Jason loathed the guy—had loathed him ever since they served on student council together as freshman. Back then, Octavian would always leer at Piper like she was a prize waiting to be stolen. Tonight, he seemed to be subjecting another girl to that foul smile. Jason knew for a fact that Octavian couldn’t live in Jason’s building, he would have smelled the rat from a mile away.

As Jason approached the two teenagers, he was able to make out what they were saying. Or, more specifically, what Rachel was saying.

“I said _no,_ you absolute asshat. Is your brain large enough to process that word?”

“How about we go up to your apartment and I give you a little lesson on the word _yes,_ ” Octavian replied, stepping in closer to Rachel and taking an almost predatory stance. “I can make it so that’s the only word coming out of your mouth. Other than my name, of course.”

“You disgust me. As if I would ever do anything like that with you.” Neither of them seemed to notice Jason, only a few feet away now.

“Wanna bet?”

“Is there a problem here?” Jason intervened, stepping in Octavian’s path. He dealt with the possibility of death or imprisonment on a daily basis, slimy douchebag guys were nothing in comparison. Especially not weasels like Octavian. Jason easily had forty pounds on him, and was several inches taller too.

“There might be, hero boy. What’s your angle? Trying to slide into that? Cause I already called dibs.”

Rachel peaked around Jason’s body to glare at Octavian. “You disgusting pervy bastard,” she spat.

“Rachel is a person, not an item. And she’s clearly not interested, so I suggest you leave.”

Surprisingly, Octavian smiled. “You know, Grace, there’s been some talk around school about you. Not many people seem to believe it, but…”

Jason’s heart stopped for a few seconds. “What talk?” It was impossible that people could be suspicious about his affiliation with Nico, so it couldn’t be that. Still, Jason couldn’t help but fear for the worst.

“Oh, you know, just that your _interests_ are a little more Beckendorf than Beauregard, if you know what I mean.” Octavian referred to Charles Beckendorf and his girlfriend, Silena. Charles, known by most as simply Beckendorf, was Goode High School’s star football player, and Silena Beauregard was easily the most beautiful girl in school—though, Leo would probably put up a pretty strong argument in favor of Calypso.

Jason’s eyes narrowed. He’d never made a grand coming out announcement, mainly because he didn’t care what people thought about him, and the last thing he wanted was to become some popular girl’s little gay handbag. Still, he never denied it either. If Octavian knew he was gay, Jason didn’t care. But in this circumstance, Jason wanted to punch him for saying such a thing (Adding on to the list of already existing reasons he wanted to punch Octavian). “And your point is?” He asked through clenched teeth.

“Just that you don’t need to try and prove how masculine you are to me in hopes that I won’t tell everyone what a little fa—”

Jason grabbed him by the shirt collar. “If you don’t leave, I _will_ hit you. And you will be spitting out your teeth the whole way home. Got it?”

“And I’ll help,” Rachel said, withdrawing a plastic hairbrush from her bag. What she planned to do with it, Jason did not know.

“Fuck, fine. You’re a prude anyway.” He pushed Jason off of him. “You wrinkled my shirt, Grace.”

“Leave,” Jason repeated, louder this time.

Octavian muttered angrily as he retreated down the street. Once he was half a block away, Jason turned back to Rachel.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, but I wish you’d kicked his ass. Octavian’s such a dickwad.”

Jason let his body relax. “Tell me about it. Do you live here?”

“Yup, I live on the floor above you. My dad moved us here from Brooklyn junior year. Unfortunately Octavian seems to live in the area, too. I ran into him at the corner store and he followed me home. Lucky that you showed up.”

“If not, you might have had to bludgeon him with that hairbrush,” Jason said, a small smile forming on his lips. Then, running back over Rachel’s sentence, a thought occurred to him. “How do you know which floor I live on?”

“I guess I’m psychic,” Rachel informed.

“No, really.”

The redheaded girl giggled and gave a small shrug. “I don’t know, my dad must have mentioned it at some point. All he ever talks about is business, I think he used to know your dad or something.”

“Oh,” Jason said, trying not to reveal that the idea of Rachel knowing where he lived made him nervous. Rachel was a nice girl, but she was also known for being pretty chatty. And Jason just so happened to be hiding the school’s biggest piece of gossip in his bedroom—well, except for this week, of course. Sneaking Nico back in to the building just became a lot more intimidating, though.

Jason walked to the front doors and pulled one open. “You coming?”

“Yeah.” She pursed her lips, studying Jason for a moment in a way that made him all kinds of uncomfortable.

“Something wrong?”

“You’re just… different than I thought you were. Octavian looked pretty intimidated when you grabbed him.”

“Oh, I just grabbed his shirt. I wouldn’t have hit him, that would involve touching the slimeball.”

Rachel giggled and walked through the door. “Slimeball, good one.”

“Absolute asshat was pretty good, too.”

“I was inspired. Well, see you around.” Rachel said, heading, not toward the elevator, but the stairs. Jason inclined an eyebrow at her.

“Uh, Rachel? Didn’t you say you live above me? Aren’t you going to take the elevator?”

She looked at Jason like he was the one about to venture up twenty-one flights of stairs. “Are you kidding? Elevators are so small and claustrophobic. Plus, they break down. I’m certainly not dying in an elevator.”

Jason thought she might be joking, but then she opened the doors to the stairwell and disappeared without another word. The elevator arrived and Jason walked in, slumping against the back wall. What a strange girl Rachel Dare was.

Though, Jason felt pretty strange himself. He could try and pretend to be normal old Jason for the night, but that didn’t change the fact that he was different, now. For a second, Jason really had considered beating Octavian up. He’d had it with bullies and assholes who tried to hurt other, more helpless people. If Octavian would have laid a hand on Rachel in front of Jason, the smarmy creep would have been leaving in an ambulance.

Old Jason would have silently disapproved. Would have spoken up if he knew no one else would. Would have looked around for someone else more capable of handling the situation. New Jason threw himself into the fray, fists up and ready to defend anyone in need of help. New Jason didn’t hesitate.

So yes, Jason could pretend that he was the same Jason he’d been last fall, or even this past winter, but that wouldn’t change the facts.

Nico di Angelo had transformed Jason’s life. And love had transformed Jason. And Jason, for better or for worse, would never be the same again. Would never stand on the sidelines again.

Jason was a protector. A defender. He’d defend what mattered to him until his last breath.

Whenever the hell that may be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got to use so many characters in this chapter! Sometimes it feels like I only ever have Jason and Nico so it is fun when I get to explore other characters in this fic. What do you guys think of Luke and Jason's meeting? Will anything come of it or have we seen the last of Luke? Also, how many other ways can I insult Octavian? I guess you'll just have to see if the smarmy greasy slimeball rat weasel ever shows up again. Ha! 
> 
> When You Least Expect It is next but hopefully it won't take me another two months to update this story. I'm not going to say we are close to the end, because we aren't, but big things are starting to happen. I'm excited about it. I hope you all are too.


	24. The Clock Is Striking Midnight (Can't You Hear?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW. OKAY. So, if you do not follow me on Tumblr, let me apologize again for this fucking awful wait. I updated two chapters of When You Least Expect It in a row without updating this story, and then I went into a month of hell consisting of exams, the death of my dog, projects, papers, holidays, my birthday, and finals. I just finished my first semester of college today and so I finally got the chance to finish editing. Now that I am on break the next chapter will come MUCH faster. Apology now over. Also, this chapter is long as fuck, so I hope it's worth the wait.
> 
> Oh, another important thing: This chapter has Italian in it. Subtitles will be provided at the end of the chapter, but DO NOT read them until the end of the chapter. One: because it is funny if you are just as in the dark as Jason, and two: spoilers!
> 
> By the way, the chapter title is a reference to a song from one of my favorite musicals, Bare: A Pop Opera. Check that shit out. (Los Angeles 2013 performance is the best one still currently online)
> 
> Okay, okay, go read.

“John? I’ve been trying to call you all afternoon.”

“Hestia,” Jason said, stepping into the bathroom. “I talked to you this morning. What happened?”

 It was the middle of sixth period, and Jason had pulled out his phone to check if Nico had texted him at all, only to find three missed calls from Hestia Stathos—Nico’s former across-the-street neighbor.

He’d called on his way to school that morning, inquiring about any new developments with the Hades and Maria situation, and gotten nothing. What could have possibly changed since then?

“Hades has a car parked outside of the apartment now. I know it’s not his. He does not have a car. But he was the one driving it, and it’s still sitting there.”

“A car?” Jason asked, unsure what this new development could mean. Was it even relevant?

“He has never had use for a car before today, and since it is in a temporary parking zone, I do not believe he plans to keep it there long. Still, I have to question why he has it in the first place. What could he be planning to do with it?”

Jason wanted to believe it was significant. Of course, he wanted to believe everything was significant these days. That didn’t mean it was. Illegal deals going down on the street, evidence of a crime, a solid witness, that was the kind of news he was hoping for. But a car?

He wasn’t sure that it warranted three phone calls. Still, at least Hestia was being alert. Observant. Who knew, maybe the vehicle did mean something, though Jason didn’t think it would prove anything.

“Okay, thanks Hestia. I’ll… see how I can use that.”

“I know it’s significant.”

“Okay Hestia, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay. Be careful.”

He hung up with a sigh. Still no closer to Maria. Further than ever from Luke.

The bell rang, signifying the end of the period. Jason took a deep, calming breath, and headed to Advanced Drawing, where his usual seat next to Reyna was waiting for him.

“Hello,” she said without looking up from her sketchbook—not an unusual greeting from, Reyna Arellano. 

“Hey, Reyna. How’s life?”

“Fine. I officially decided on where I am going next year. So I suppose that is exciting.”

Reyna was another one of the students in the class’s top ten. In fact, she’d only finished two students behind Jason. “What’d you pick, then?” He asked.

“Berkeley,” she declared.

Jason smiled. _That’s where Nico wants to go, if he ever can._ “That’s great! I guess we’ll both be in California, won’t we?”

“I guess we will,” she nodded, still not really looking his way, but Jason saw a small smile cross her lips.

Jason pulled out his own sketchbook and sat it on the table. As the bell rang, he noticed Hazel Levesque staring at him.

 

…

 

Jason burst through the door of Delphi. It was Monday, which meant it was finally time for Nico to come back home. Once Chiron closed at nine, he’d promised to drive Nico back to Jason’s, and Jason intended to stay here until then. Despite spending hours with Nico just yesterday, and every day before that, Jason wanted Nico back where he belonged. He wanted to find Nico in his room when he came home after school and curled up beside him when he went to sleep at night.

He found Chiron behind the counter, on the phone. The man was rubbing his face tiredly. “Okay, okay, I understand. I’ll be there. Don’t worry, Achilles. I’m sure everything is okay. I’ll see you soon.” He hung up.

“That was your nephew? Is everything all right?”

The bookseller turned to the blond. “Oh, Jason. Yes, it was my nephew. It would appear his new husband and my sister have gotten into quite a fight, and now she wants to cut off all communication with them. Achilles wants me to go up there and try to talk some sense into her. That’s Thetis for you…” he released an exasperated sigh. “I hate to do this but, do you think you could watch the shop for the next day or two? Just open it once you get out of school, close at the normal time, and watch the apartment? You and Nico could both stay here until I get back.”

Jason’s shoulders slumped a little. It wasn’t quite what he’d been hoping for, but at least he could still stay with Nico, and he had an excuse for staying the night here, now.

“Yeah, of course. Do what you need to do. Are you leaving now?”

“As soon as I pack a bag,” Chiron nodded.

“Can I quickly run upstairs first? I haven’t seen him all day.”

“That’s fine,” the aging man assured him.

Jason was running for the stairs before Chiron finished speaking.

He found Nico lounging on the cushioned chair next to the couch, a book in his lap and an apple in his hand. Not having to hide in Jason’s room had its perks. All day food access was one of them.

Nico smirked at the sound of Jason’s arrival, but didn’t look up, instead acting as if he had barely noticed the blond. Jason smiled to himself and crossed the room to where his boyfriend was seated. Nico smiled wider but still refused to acknowledge Jason.

No matter how much their relationship developed, it seemed that Nico would never get tired of messing with Jason. Jason leaned over the back of the chair, bringing his fingers under Nico’s chin to tilt his face up for a short kiss (Upside down kissing was fucking complicated).

“Oh, hey,” Nico said, his casual tone of voice betrayed by the look in his eyes, so intense that Jason had to fight back a shudder.

_How can I love you this much?_

“Hi,” he greeted, stealing another kiss, then moving around to the front of the chair for a proper one. “I missed you today.”

“You always say that,” Nico told him with a roll of his eyes, finally placing his book and apple to the side and letting Jason pull him up and into his arms.

“I always mean it. Especially,” he added, brushing Nico’s lips with his own, “When I don’t get a good morning kiss.”

They kissed again, for real this time, rather than just a brief peck, and Jason’s fingers curled into the back of Nico’s shirt as he hugged Nico tighter, having to tilt his head down to account for the height difference. It was worth it though. There wasn’t a part of Jason that wasn’t flush against Nico.  

“Trying to fuse our skin together?” Nico chuckled as they broke away to breathe.

“That’ll have to wait until later tonight,” Jason winked, licking his lips.

“Pervert. Waiting till we’re back at the apartment?”

He drew back slightly. “Actually, we won’t be able to go home tonight, after all. Family emergency, Chiron has to go out of town today. He’ll be gone a few days so we are going to stay here and look after things for him.”

“Oh,” Nico said, his shoulders slouching. “But that means you get to stay here too?”

“Yup, and we get the place all to ourselves. I know you were really eager to go back to the apartment, is this okay?”

Nico pressed a kiss into Jason’s neck, which was admittedly the most accessible place for his lips to reach when they were standing. “Yeah, it’s okay. We’ll be here together, which is almost like being back at the apartment. A few more days isn’t a big difference. Although,” he smirked, grazing his fingers over the collar of Jason’s t-shirt, “This bed isn’t nearly as comfortable.”

“Well, there’s always a picnic blanket and the mystery section,” Jason teased.

“Haven’t we lived that little fantasy of yours already? When is it my turn?”

“Do you have a fantasy?” Jason’s eyebrows lifted halfway up his forehead. What had his boyfriend been dreaming up on the nights since they last shared a bed?

Nico shrugged. “I don’t know if I’d call it that, but I’ve been thinking about things…”

“Holy fuck,” Jason mumbled, meeting Nico’s lips in a searing kiss. Whatever Nico wanted, whatever fucking thing he wanted, Jason would do it. He wanted to do it right this moment, the store be damned. Only, he couldn’t do that to Chiron.

“I want to hear all about those things,” he whispered, breaking away, “Every single one of them. But right now I have to… Chiron needs me to watch the store… He’s about to leave. I have to go down in a minute.”

Nico sighed, smoothing his hair where Jason’s fingers had messed it. “Three minutes of kissing followed by six hours of working? You’re a tease.”

“This coming from you,” Jason retorted, pressing his face into Nico’s neck. “Trust me, I’d rather be up here with you.”

“I believe you,” he assured. “You’re going to get hungry. I guess I can make dinner, so we can eat right after you close up.”

“You’re going to cook?” Jason inquired. Usually he was the one in charge of meal preparations.

“Uh huh, I had Chiron buy some particular groceries. I was going to make him dinner to thank him for hosting me, but, I guess you and I will just eat. And it will be so delicious you’ll have no choice but to fall madly in love with me.”

“Too late,” Jason breathed, deciding that three minutes of kissing wasn’t quite enough.

 

…

 

“Now _that,_ ”Jason grinned as he rinsed their plates, “Was Italian food.”

“Told ya,” Nico grinned, hopping up onto the kitchen counter and grinning down at the blond. Jason looked _so good_ tonight—though Nico might have been biased. To him, Jason became more and more handsome every day. Seeing Percy Jackson had stirred up no attraction in Nico, like he’d worried it might. Jason wasn’t just number one, he was the only guy on Nico’s list.

His stomach fluttered at the realization. Nico’s social circle had unexpectedly expanded since coming to Jason. Leo, Thalia, Chiron, Percy… And yet, there was still Jason, Jason eclipsing everyone. Jason’s lighthearted smile stealing another piece of Nico’s heart every time it appeared.

“Thalia can’t cook at all, so next year I wouldn’t expect her to contribute to dinner much,” Jason chuckled, placing the plates in the dishwasher.

“Oh joy,” Nico smirked, not saying what both of them were likely thinking. _If_ they ever made it to California.

“Well,” Jason shut the dishwasher. “Dinner is cleaned up and the night is still young, what do you want to do? You could help me study, or we could watch a movie, or go pick out some books downstairs, or…” he smirked.

“I choose D,” Nico said, curling his fingers into Jason’s shirt to draw him closer.

“I didn’t give any choice D,” Jason teased.

“Didn’t you?” Nico raised an eyebrow at the blond, his hand drifting lower.

“You’re bad,” Jason’s smirk grew as he leaned in and stole a kiss. “It’s not even ten o’clock.”

Nico responded with an irritated whine. “This is the first night we’re sleeping together in a week and we have the place all to ourselves, I think I’ve earned the right to be impatient.” He looped his legs around Jason’s hips, trapping him. “Or are you not dying like I am?”

“Mmm,” Jason sighed, laying kisses over Nico’s skin. “You got me,” he scooped Nico off of the counter, stealing the younger boy’s breath.

Before Nico could protest—he didn’t appreciate being carried around like a child—Jason moved his kisses to Nico’s lips and stole his breath in an entirely different way. They stumbled—or rather Jason stumbled and Nico held on for dear life—through the living room and toward the guest room that had come to be Nico’s room over the past week.

Nico, just to be difficult, started moving his hips against the blond. His stomach flew into his chest momentarily as the action nearly caused his boyfriend to drop him. “Shit,” Jason moaned. “You’ve gotta warn be before you do that!”

“I’ll take my chances,” Nico decided, his plan for the remainder of the evening falling right into place.

 

…

 

“Ma cazzo, scherziamo, come hai fatto a diventare più sexy da ieri a oggi?”

Jason had long ago accepted that he was Nicosexual, and that every single thing the boy did was more attractive and endearing than anything any other human was capable of, tonight was the first time he believed that maybe it wasn’t just him, and that Nico really was _that_ endearing.

No, not endearing.

_Undeniably, painfully sexy._

There was no way this could just be Jason’s biased opinion. He may have been the one taking off his clothes, but if he had just heard Nico correctly, then Jason was definitely inferior to actual sex symbol Nico di Angelo.

“Did you… did you just speak Italian?” He asked incredulously, staring down at the shirtless dark haired boy who was resting across the bed while Jason stood over him.

“I’m fluent,” Nico supplied in English, a little smirk on his face that was very dangerous. “Why? Problem?”

Yeah, the problem was that Jason was about to combust. “H—how did I not know this?” He crawled on the bed for fear that his legs would give out. “Fuck, that’s really sexy.”

“Disse il ragazzo nudo.” Nico teased—or at least it sounded like he was teasing—as he moved his fingers across Jason’s chest.

He didn’t even care what it was that Nico had said. It sounded _fantastic_ and that was all that mattered.

“I don’t think you’re allowed to speak English anymore, Nico,” Jason informed, gently pushing the boy—who was still wearing far too much clothing—back all the way onto the mattress and hovering over him. Those pants definitely had to go.

“Ma non capisci nemmeno una parola. Per quanto ne sai potrei aver appena elencato i miei passatempi preferiti.”

Jason, who had already started forming a hard-on long before he dropped Nico on the bed two minutes ago, worried that he might actually come in his pants by Nico’s voice alone.

“The rest of your clothing is coming off now,” Jason decided, his fingers tugging on Nico’s sweatpants without waiting for a response, though he got one anyway. Well—he was pretty sure.

“Come vuoi ragazzo molto, molto arrapato. Non che io stia messo diversamente, eh?”

 “Fuck everything,” Jason cursed, dragging Nico’s underwear down with the pants.

“O potresti semplicemente fotterti me,” Nico said in a low, rough voice. Okay, okay, _okay_ Jason was done. This was too much. The look in Nico’s eyes and that smirk on his face and the fucking Italian were all too much for Jason, only a few weeks removed from virginity.

“You know what, I changed my mind. You can never speak Italian again.”

Nico laughed magnificently. “And I was just getting started…” He joked, in English this time. “Never again? Never is a…” his breath hitched as Jason’s fingers curled around his dick. “A very long time.”

“Fucking Italian, unbelievable, you’re gonna be the death of me, Nico.”

Nico flinched, and Jason realized with mild horror how he had phrased the last sentence. He released Nico’s dick. “Shit, I didn’t mean it like—”

Nico just shook his head, “No, it’s okay. I—I know what you meant,” he pulled Jason to him and their lips met. With a sigh, Jason kissed him back. He had feared that his own stupidity would have killed the mood, but apparently Nico wasn’t that upset. Jason was relieved, not just because he wanted sex but also because he’d been worried lately, what with Beryl and Percy seeing Nico and all, that the dark haired teen was starting to become increasingly panicked.

Hell, Jason knew he was.

But he would never, _never_ tell Nico that.       

Rather than dwell on their stressful situation, however, Jason focused his attention on what was right in front of him. Which, in this case, was Nico’s now wonderfully naked body.

“What did you do with the condoms I brought over yesterday?” He whispered against Nico’s lips.

“Top drawer of the nightstand. With the lube.”

Jason started to roll over to reach said nightstand, when Nico’s arms stopped him. “Nooo,” he fussed. “You’re so warm. Don’t leave.”

“I’ll be gone for two seconds,” Jason chuckled, kissing Nico’s forehead.

Nico pouted but let Jason go all the same. “You’ve gotten so soft, di Angelo,” he teased. “When we met, I wasn’t even allowed to lay a hand on you.”

“Well now,” Nico announced upon Jason’s prompt return, condoms lube being placed on the mattress. Nico curled his fingers around the older boy’s wrists, “You’re not allowed to take them off.” He kissed Jason’s wrist, right over the cuff bracelet he’d gifted him, and then moved the hands to his hips. “Understood, Grace?” He smirked.

Keep his hands on Nico’s body? Yeah, no need to ask him twice. He pressed his fingers harder into Nico’s skin and buried his face in his neck. “Loud and clear,” he assured, grazing his tongue over the skin

It turned out that one of his hands did have to tear itself away from Nico’s body, however, in order to reach out for the lube. Jason quickly coated his fingers and then positioned Nico properly.

Nico didn’t resist at all when Jason pushed the first finger in. Rather, he keened in approval. “Fucking finally.”

Jason chuckled lightly, laying several kisses on Nico’s lips because he couldn’t help himself. Then he focused his attention on getting Nico ready for what they’d both really been waiting for.

To the blond’s surprise however, Nico put a hand out to stop Jason before he could put the condom on. “I have a request that’s… a little different for us.”

Jason narrowed his eyes. “I’m not skipping out on the condom. I’ve told you this before.”

“I know, I know, Captain Protection, don’t glare at me like that,” Nico said, flicking the condom wrapper jokingly, but Jason could see an embarrassed blush coloring his cheeks. “That’s not what I was going to say.”

Jason softened, brushing a finger—from the hand that hadn’t just been in Nico’s ass—across the other boy’s cheek. “Okay, what do you want?” He felt a little excited, thinking back to the earlier conversation about fantasies. Had Nico been serious?

“I just… I want you to have sex with me without being so worried about breaking me or hurting me or whatever it is that has you holding back all the time.”

Jason tensed again, but this time he did not accompany it with any glare. “Oh,” he said, suddenly unsure of what to say. He supposed he did kind of hold back when he and Nico had sex, but he’d always considered that unavoidable. Nico was not a big guy, and Jason knew that he was certainly capable of hurting him. Nico, with his small frame, his narrow hips, his body that had been underfed and weak only a few months ago, that was still becoming healthy again.

“Nico, I—I don’t know about that. I mean—”

“You always are extra careful preparing me, and you check to see if I’m okay eighty-four times, isn’t that enough caution? Come on, Jay,” Nico persuaded, pulling in Jason by the neck so their noses brushed together. “I’m not a fucking porcelain doll,” he breathed against Jason’s lips.

Jason couldn’t stop frowning, even though Nico’s kissable lips were just inches away. “This is what you’ve been think about? Are you not… do you not like the sex we’ve been having?”

Nico kissed Jason’s lips quickly. “It’s not about that at all. Do you think I’d want you so badly all the time if I didn’t enjoy myself? That’s ridiculous. It’s just… I guess I’m curious. And I bet,” another kiss, “You are too. Though you’re too much of a gentleman to ever admit it.”

“I don’t want to cause you unnecessary pain, now or tomorrow.”

“You won’t. I’m not a masochist, Jason, if it seriously hurts me I will _tell_ you. Give me some credit.”

He sighed, “Nico—”

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase,” Nico whined, almost like a child, drawing back slightly so Jason would be forced to look at Nico’s innocent puppy dog face, complete with big brown imploring eyes.

Yeah, innocently begging to be fucked. Quite the dichotomy.

Still, Jason felt himself weakening. It—it did sound kind of appealing. Not the part about not worrying about Nico—that was impossible—but going… harder than usual. Not restraining himself. Completely fulfilling his sexual desires. No one was even around to hear them. What kind of sounds could he draw from the dark haired boy? What would his face look like when Jason—

Dammit, Nico had started smirking at him, the innocent face gone, and Jason knew that his face had probably given his thoughts away. Nico was winning this battle, and he knew it.

“Non dirmi che non vuoi la stessa cosa, Jason,” Nico said, unleashing his totally unfair Italian on the helpless blond. All he could make out was his name, but he got the feeling he didn’t _want_ to know what the rest meant.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck you, goddamn.” Jason cursed, dragging Nico back to his lips. “Cheater.”

“Fuck me? That a promise?”

“Whoever the hell taught you the art of seduction is on my shit-list,” Jason said, unwrapping the condom and putting it on. “You’d better tell me if you want to stop, understand? I don’t care if it looks like I’m having the fucking time of my life. If it’s too much, _say something._ ”

“Oh, yes sir,” Nico teased, just before Jason thrust in.

 

…

 

“Oh God, oh God, oh my—fuck,” Nico gasped. Well, if you could call it gasping when it was so loud. Could you yell and gasp at the same time?

While he’d been hesitant at first, it hadn’t taken long for Jason to give Nico exactly what he’d wanted. And he’d known it would be good but… he hadn’t dreamed it would be _this_ good.

Even though, reasonably, he knew he’d had Jason’s dick in him numerous times, this felt to Nico like the first time they’d ever had sex. Jason snapped his hips into Nico at a frenzied pace, half-pushing Nico into the headboard with every thrust.

Nico could barely breathe—was past the point of even being able to open his eyes. Jason had been leaving open mouth kisses on his skin for a while, but that had stopped so he could focus more of his energy on driving Nico crazy. Or at least, so Nico presumed.

Sweat slid between their bodies that could have belonged to either boy, and Nico imagined a shower in their future. He also imagined shower sex. That is, assuming his legs could actually stand and walk after this. Assuming Jason didn’t turn his body to jelly. Assuming that he would even be capable of a round two after this.

“Wh—what have you—ahh—done with my boyfriend?” Nico moaned.

Jason’s responding laugh quickly turned into a moan as he thrust into Nico once again. Right into Nico’s prostate.

“Fuck!” Nico knew he couldn’t last much longer. Even with most of Jason’s erratic thrusts missing his prostate, Nico was on the edge, unable to even open his eyes. Every successful hit felt like it would be the last one before Nico came. He couldn’t imagine how Jason was fairing so well. Normally, Jason would be reaching for Nico’s dick, trying to get him to his release quickly so that he could in turn finish. But tonight, Jason didn’t seem as worried about that.

And it turned out it didn’t matter, because Nico came before Jason could even lay a finger on his dick. His moan was embarrassingly loud and Nico congratulated himself on waiting until they were completely alone to bring up the idea that had been nagging at him all week.

Worth it. Worth it. Fucking _worth it._

Jason followed soon after, practically yelling Nico’s name. Nico, as if responding to the call, chanced to open his eyes, and watched Jason descend on his lips to kiss him with the same abandon he had just fucked him with. Nico found the strength to wrap his arms around Jason’s neck.

Then, after a minute of that, the two seemed to remember that Jason’s dick was still inside of Nico, and the red-faced blond separated their bodies and went to throw the condom away. Nico scowled, feeling far too empty, as he usually did after sex.

Every time Jason pulled out, it was like he was stealing a part of Nico, only to be returned the next time they connected. Which was really an overly romantic way of saying that he always wanted to be having sex.

Jason flopped back on the bed beside Nico, releasing a deep, satisfied breath. “Wow.”

“I knew you were holding out on me, but I didn’t imagine it was that much,” Nico chuckled lightly, scooting closer to Jason’s body.

“How do you feel?”

“I’m paralyzed from the waist down.”

“Not funny,” Jason said flatly.

“I feel like my boyfriend just fucked me really hard and I am _quite_ satisfied about it,” Nico amended, rolling on to his side and placing a kiss on Jason’s chest.

When he pulled back, Jason looked charmingly embarrassed. “Well, I, uh—” he scratched his head. “I can’t _believe_ you speak Italian. And you never even mentioned it.”

Nico laughed. “So does that mean that maybe in the future… we could do this again?”

“Ask me in the morning,” Jason decided, a mischievous grin on his lips.

They made out for a long time after that, slow and lazy and content, and Nico wondered for the hundredth how it was possible to for the worst and best months of his life to be happening simultaneously.

 

…

 

When Jason’s alarm went off in the morning, Nico loudly protested its existence.

“I forgot how much I fucking hate that sound. Fuck school.” Currently, the younger boy was half on top of Jason, his arm sprawled across the blond’s bare chest. His eyes remained squeezed shut in protest, but Jason stared down at his face anyway. Even when he was angry, Nico in the morning was an especially beautiful sight. Jason loved waking up to him, loved when the first thing he saw at the start of his day was Nico.

“Says the one who doesn’t have to wake up yet,” Jason teased, rubbing Nico’s back lightly. Neither Jason nor Nico reacted to the little raised scars anymore.

Last night, after having the best sex either of them had ever had, Jason had practically carried Nico to the shower. _“You can’t even walk,” he’d fussed. “Are you sure you’re okay?”_

Nico had slapped his hand at the question. _“I am fine. I mean, I won’t be doing jumping jacks any time soon but…”_

“Stay in bed longer,” Nico pouted. “You already got into college. Cuddle longer.” He sounded drunk, but Jason knew he was likely just half asleep. The two hadn’t actually turned in for the night until well after two in the morning.

“Shh, you can go back to sleep, Angel. I’m just going to get ready for school.”

“’M not an angel,” Nico grumbled. “Nico. My name is Nico.”

“You sure?” Jason kissed his forehead and gently tried to slide out from under Nico, but the dark haired boy was adamant. He would not be moved. Jason ended up scooping Nico right into his arms and lifting him out of bed too. It was disturbing, how easy it was to pick the boy up. Once he was to his feet, he placed Nico back on the bed, and Nico finally peaked an eye open to glare up at him.

“You’re mean,” he informed.

Jason chuckled and then retrieved his school clothes from the duffel bag that Leo had dropped off at the store the previous evening.

“Go to sleep.”

As Jason dressed, he noticed that Nico most definitely wasn’t going back to sleep. His eyes were open and focused on every move Jason made. When Jason went across the hall to the bathroom to brush his teeth, he found Nico putting on a pair of pants and following him. “You’re walking okay… Kind of okay,” Jason noted. “How do you feel?”

“Tired, but otherwise not _too_ bad. A little sore, but nothing for you to freak out over.”

“You really can go back to sleep, you know,” Jason said, squeezing toothpaste onto his toothbrush.

“Why would I sleep when you’re still here? I have all day for that.”

Once Jason finished brushing his teeth, Nico apparently decided it was a good time for morning kisses. Or rather, morning make-outs.

Jason wasn’t suspicious until he went back to the bedroom to retrieve his backpack and Nico not so subtly brushed his hand over Jason’s crotch. “Can’t you just stay here with me?”

“I skipped school a few weeks ago, you menace.”

“Then it’s not like your academic record is spotless…”

Jason half-heartedly rolled his eyes and kiss Nico’s forehead. “Annabeth said she’ll close up tonight, I only have to work until six. Think you can wait that long before you try to remove my pants?”

“That’s almost eleven hours! I want you right now.”

“What am I going to do with you?”

“Well, I have a few ideas…”

“Nicooo,” Jason groaned, reaching for the door as Nico pushed it closed.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Nico pouted, trapping Jason between his body and the door. He twisted his fingers into the other boy’s hair and stretched up to place his lips on Jason’s.

“Nico, I have to go to school,” Jason protested as one of Nico’s hands moved back down to Jason’s jeans. “Stop making this hard for me.”

“But that’s exactly my intention, Jay. To make things very, very hard,” Nico teased, putting more pressure against Jason’s admittedly hardening dick.

“Well, I guess I could be a little late to first period…”

Nico grinned, “Take your clothes off and get back in bed.”

“You objectify me,” Jason joked, throwing off his shirt.

“Shut up and fuck me.”

Jason arrived at school in the middle of third period.

 

…

 

Leo laughed at Jason the entire walk to lunch. “You are so _weak,_ Jason,” he teased, shoving the taller boy’s shoulder. “‘Oh, yes Nico, I’ll do anything you say, Nico, I love you so much, Nico.’” He mocked, bursting into another fit of laughter.

“Will you shut up?” Jason snapped, “we’re in school, dumbass.”

“I’m keeping my voice down,” Leo grumbled. “Are you sure you’re salutatorian worthy, Jase? Skipping school all the time to play house with your future husband?”

“You’re so annoying.”

They rounded a corner, already running a little late to lunch. Leo had needed a minute to stop and actually catch his breath from laughing so hard at Jason. He knew that he shouldn’t have told his friend about why he’d been late to school. Leo was relentless when it came to Jason’s sex life.

Jason looked down the hall and tripped over his own feet.

Coming out of the counselor’s office, with a box tucked under his arm, was none other than Hades di Angelo.

Leo skidded to a stop as well. He recognized the man, of course he did. How could he not when Hades only stood a mere fifteen feet away.

 _Why are you here?_ Jason wondered, swallowing hard. He’d promised Nico he wouldn’t go near Hades again, now here was the man right in front of him. And worse, he’s already spotted Jason.

“Jason Grace, is it?” Hades asked, heading in the boys’ direction.

“Yes,” Jason said, struggling to keep his voice normal. “What brings you to Goode, Mr. di Angelo?”

“Well, I’m picking up Bianca’s school things, finally. I had to return her textbooks and clean out her locker.

“What about Nico’s locker?” Leo blurted, drawing Hades’ eyes to him for the first time.

Hades grimaced slightly. “I returned his books and threw the rest away. My wife has no desire for his things.”

_You fucking liar, you dirty bastard._

“This is my friend, Leo,” Jason introduced. “I apologize, he’s rather blunt.”

“Pleased to meet you, Leo,” Hades nodded. “I hate to ask this, but, there are some more boxes with photos and things from the memorial they had for Bianca. The school only just took it down. Could you two help me bring these things to my car?”

“I, uh, we kind of do have to get to lunch—”

“I can help, Mr. di Angelo,” Percy Jackson said, appearing from behind Leo and Jason. Jason raised his eyebrows at the black haired boy. Where had he come from? “I’m not eating lunch.”

“Oh, hello Percy. Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah, I know. How are you and Maria?” Percy was a far better actor than Jason on this day. Did he want to choke him as much as Jason did?

“We are as well as we can be, I suppose.”

“I understand. Are the other boxes in the office as well?” Hades nodded and Percy slid past Jason and opened the door to the office.

“Okay, well we have to get going. Sorry,” Jason apologized, ready to bolt. To leave before he did anything crazy. He would not give Nico a reason to be angry at him.

“Yes, of course.” Hades held out his free hand, “Good to see you again, Jason.”

Hesitantly, Jason shook his hand, and nearly shivered as a strange smile crossed the man’s face. “I’ll see you around,” Jason responded, and he and Leo quickly continued down the hall.

“That was fucking intense,” Leo whispered as they finally neared the cafeteria. “Lucky that Jackson showed up.”

“Yeah,” Jason said, still feeling alarmingly cold. “Very lucky. I can’t even—I can’t even be around that man.”

They began eating in silence. Less than ten minutes later, Percy Jackson plopped down at their table. “Well, that was scary. Hades isn’t suspicious of you, is he Jason? It seemed like he knew you.”

“Wait wait wait,” Leo held up a finger and pointed it at their table intruder. “You know?”

“Oh, yeah, I meant to tell you. Percy might have had a… run-in at Delphi a few days ago,” Jason explained, glancing sideways at his best friend. He’d kind of had a lot on his plate lately.

Leo turned from Jason back to Percy. “Let me guess, you walked in on them and they were making out on a couch?”

Percy chuckled. “No, Jason wasn’t even there.”

“Well, that’s a first,” Leo mused, elbowing the blond.

“To answer your question, yeah, he knows who I am. But I don’t see how he could be suspicious of me,” Jason intervened before Leo could spend the rest of the lunch period teasing him.

“I’m amazed you didn’t punch him,” Leo said. “I know I wanted to. Fucking up my buddy Nico’s life like that.”

“You looked like you wanted to duck behind me and hide,” Jason told him. Leo stuck out his tongue.

“I was never comfortable being around him. I remember Bianca usually didn’t like hanging out at her apartment when he was home though, so I didn’t have to see him much,” Percy shared.

“Did he say anything to you while you helped him with the boxes?” Jason asked, his stomach so knotted that he couldn’t find it in him to finish his sandwich.

“He just… asked how school was going. And he had this creepily friendly smile, too. I don’t really know what it means. I’d ask Annabeth about it but… You know…”

But only the three of them had any reason to be suspicious of Nico’s father. Not Annabeth, not Piper, not Hazel, not anyone.

“Yeah. I get it. Don’t dwell on it, though. The man is clearly a sociopath, but I can’t find any reason why we should be worried about his presence at school. He was just picking stuff up, right? It won’t happen again,” Jason assured, sounding more certain than he felt.

“I fucking hope so,” Leo sighed. “Although who knows, since you and Nico appear to be the worst people in the world at keeping your secret.”

“I resent that,” Jason argued. “Not _that_ many people know. You’re exaggerating.”

“Dude, Peter Parker in the Amazing Spiderman remakes is better at keeping his secret than you, and everyone in those fucking movies knows that Peter is Spiderman.”

Percy snorted. Jason buried his face in his hands.

 

…

 

Jason would have to tell Nico about the run-in. He knew that. With all of the crap he was already keeping from him… He would likely burst if he kept any more bottled up.

He hadn’t mentioned anything to Nico when he’d quickly snuck upstairs to kiss Nico for a moment. It wasn’t the kind of thing you just casually brought up before running back downstairs to work. Though Jason knew it wasn’t his fault that Hades had been at school, he worried how Nico would react. He couldn’t bear another fight between them. He would lose his mind if it came to that.

Annabeth relieved him from duty at six, and Jason hesitantly returned upstairs. He found Nico in the guest room, sprawled out across the bed with a book in front of him.

“The star student returns,” Nico teased, pushing the book aside and beckoning Jason to the bed. “Do I have you for the rest of the night now?”

 _You have me forever._ “All yours,” Jason promised, drawing in Nico for a deep, lingering kiss.

“How was your day? I slept until two because _someone_ didn’t get out of the door until eleven o’clock.”

Jason laughed, but it was forced. Nico frowned. “What’s wrong?” He balled his fingers into Jason’s shirt, stopping any possibility of escape.

“I—something happened at school. But before I tell you, promise me you won’t freak out.”

“I can’t promise that,” Nico said flatly. “But tell me anyway.”

Because _that_ was reassuring. Still, Nico loved him. Nico loved him so how bad could it be? This wouldn’t be a big deal. He just had to say it. Like ripping off a Band-Aid.

“Your father was at school today and I ran into him!” He blurted.

Nico’s hands fell from Jason’s shirt. “What?” His voice came out an octave too high.

“I mean, I wasn’t purposely seeking him out. He was there to pick up Bianca’s things and Leo and I rounded the corner just as he was coming out of an office and—”

“You spoke to him?” Nico demanded. The way it came out, Jason couldn’t tell if the younger male was terrified or livid.

“Briefly. I didn’t have much of a choice. He recognized me. But the second I could get away, I did. I avoided him the best that I could. I didn’t want to break my promise to you. We barely talked, I don’t think I said anything that could be considered suspicious. Please don’t be mad.”

Nico’s hands were up again, but this time clutching at Jason’s shoulders and not just his shirt. He pulled Jason in so the blond was practically on the bed. “I’m not mad,” he whispered into Jason’s skin. “It sounds like it was unavoidable. As long as you’re safe, I’m fine.”

“Well, thank Percy. He stumbled upon us and started talking to Hades so Leo and I had a chance to leave.”

Nico made a small, dissatisfied noise. “Well, I wouldn’t quite call that reassuring but… I suppose Percy is still more capable than Leo.”

Jason laughed lightly, and this time it wasn’t so forced.

“Still, I don’t like the thought of that monster at school. Hopefully he won’t be back.”

Jason laid a chaste kiss on Nico’s lips. “He got all that he needed. I doubt we’ll see him again. Until we’re testifying against him in court, of course.”

Nico looked as if he wanted to smile, but the expression never came. Jason supposed he was too shaken up still. Jason hugged his body tightly, and it seemed to improve Nico’s mood marginally. “Of course. Now, dinner. And then,” he smirked, “Dessert.”

Jason laughed. “Insatiable. I mean it. You’re insatiable.”

“You love it.”

“I love _you_.”

“Love you too, idiot.”   

 

…

 

Jason sat in Advanced Drawing tapping a pencil against his sketchbook without drawing anything. A few seats down, two girls were whispering—or they _thought_ they were whispering—about Hades’ trip to school the previous day. Though very few people had actually encountered him—Jason being one of those unlucky few—the whole school seemed to be talking about.

One of the girls was Rachel Dare. “He’s pretty creepy, don’t you think? Bianca and Nico’s dad? I get weird vibes from him.”

Katie Gardner twisted a lock of hair around her finger. “I mean, Nico was creepy too. He had to have gotten it from somewhere.”

“What about Bianca? She was pretty normal,” Rachel countered.

“Yeah, maybe as normal as you can be in that messed up family,” remarked Katie.

Jason bit his tongue. _You don’t know the first thing about Nico’s family,_ he wanted to snap at her. What the hell did Katie Gardner know about the di Angelos? What did any of these people know?

Then, remembering he was perhaps not the only person in the room who could be listening to the girls’ conversation, he glanced Hazel’s way.

But she wasn’t staring at Rachel and Katie.

Reyna, seeming to notice a sudden tension around Jason, looked up from her sketchbook to examine the situation. Then, after a moment, she casually returned to her work. “Hazel is staring at you,” she commented, almost like a question. “For the third day in a row.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Jason affirmed. Nico’s golden-eyed cousin was studying Jason intently, as if she were looking inside him, rather than at him. He didn’t quite know how good Hazel was at reading people, but the time they’d spent together had proven to Jason that she certainly wasn’t dumb. Why was she so focused on him again suddenly? Jason thought she wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

The curiosity in Reyna’s tone didn’t make Jason feel much better. God, was he just paranoid constantly now? Because _that_ wasn’t going to draw any unwanted attention toward Jason. Oh fuck, that was definitely paranoia talking.

_Relax, Hazel doesn’t know anything, Reyna doesn’t know anything, Rachel and Katie don’t know anything. No one knows anything and Nico is safe._

Well, some people knew, but if there was one person Jason oddly wasn’t paranoid about, it was Percy Jackson. Even though they’d never been particularly close before, Jason felt like Percy was an old friend, and he trusted him as much as he could trust anyone in this situation. And Leo, of course, was unswervingly loyal.

“You two were sitting together not too long ago, right? I thought you were friends.”

“It’s a long story,” Jason shrugged, which was technically true. “I don’t know why she keeps looking at me, though. It’s kind of intense.” That much was definitely true.

Reyna gave a small shrug. “Hasn’t anyone told you, Jason? Us girls can be kind of intense.”

Jason thought of Annabeth, reading Hitler’s autobiography for kicks. Piper, cornering Jason outside of his apartment and demanding to know what he was keeping from her. Thalia, guessing within minutes that Jason was dating someone. Hazel, practically chasing Jason out of her apartment.

“I think I figured that much out,” Jason told her, chuckling nervously.

The bell finally rang and Jason quickly rose to his feet. These days, any minute he spent in school that he didn’t absolutely need to was a minute too long.

“Jason, wait,” a brown arm shot in front of Jason’s path just as he cleared the school grounds. He looked down to find Hazel Levesque panting lightly, probably from trying to catch up to Jason on her much shorter legs.

The blond stopped walking, but glanced around anxiously. He didn’t know why Hazel had decided to talk to him, but he did know it was a conversation that he probably didn’t want to happen here on the sidewalk. “Hazel,” he greeted, a cautious smile on his face. “I kind of thought you told me to never speak to you again?”

“Percy,” she took a moment and steadied her breathing, “Percy Jackson thinks that I should trust you,” her eyes narrowed, “Why?”

Jason shifted his weight between his feet. All around them, high school students were walking by, some took the time to shoot Jason and Hazel curious glances. “This isn’t the time or place to talk,” Jason nodded slightly at the passerby. “Could we meet and talk somewhere another time?”

Hazel considered it for only a second. “Fine, when and where?”

“Tomorrow,” Jason said. Earlier in the day, Chiron had texted Jason to say he would be back in the morning, and that Jason and Nico were free to go back home tonight after Jason closed up the bookshop. “Demeter’s Café, four-thirty.”

“Okay,” she nodded. “But you’d better,” she poked him in the chest with her index finger. “Have the _best_ explanation in the whole world.”

“I will,” Jason promised stupidly. Hazel walked away, and Jason considered hitting himself in the face.

What the _hell_ was he going to say to her?

 

…

 

Apparently, Percy had invited himself over for dinner. At least, that was what Nico gathered when he waltzed through the door to Chiron’s apartment shortly after Jason closed up shop for the night, a pizza box balanced on his arm.

“Hey, I come bearing food!” He declared. “Uh, oh. Awkward.”

Nico scowled. He liked Percy, he really did, but the guy had just so happened to walk in right while Nico was in the middle of receiving some _very_ enjoyable neck kisses. He pushed Jason away quickly, and the taller boy didn’t struggle. His face flushed pink with embarrassment. “Oh, sorry Percy, I thought it would take longer for you to pick up the pizza.” He scratched his head.

“Wow, Jay, a warning that we were having company would have been nice,” he grumbled, placing his hands over his neck where Jason’s lips had just been, feeling plenty embarrassed himself. How many times would he get caught kissing someone before whatever spiritual force at work stopped thinking it was funny? Bianca, Hades, Leo, a near run-in with Thalia, Chiron, Beryl, now Percy.

Nico sighed. How was it that even this top secret relationship felt so public?

“I was leading up to it?” Jason suggested, smiling bashfully and stealing a quick kiss on Nico’s cheek. Jason, apparently, wasn’t nearly as shy.

“Uh huh, that’s totally what it seemed like,” Nico shook his head, but he smiled to let Jason know that he wasn’t really _that_ mad. He was rarely seriously angry with Jason, and as long as Jason wasn’t taking stupid risks or—God forbid—getting drunk around guys he used to make out with once upon a time, anything he did was almost immediately forgiven.

Because Nico was pathetically fucking in love with the guy. Yeah, that about summed it up.

“What kind of pizza?”

“Pepperoni and sausage,” Percy said, looking relieved that Nico wasn’t protesting his presence in the apartment.

“Ooh, solid choice,” Nico said, stealing the box from Percy and placing it on the kitchen table.

“After we eat, Percy is going to drive us back home. Chiron is going to be home in the morning.”

Home? Nico perked up immediately. “You never told me that!”

“Well, I wanted to surprise you,” Jason smirked, coming up behind Nico and ruffling his fingers through the younger boy’s too-long hair. It was a far cry from a kiss, but Nico smiled and accepted the affectionate gesture anyway. Percy cleared his throat a little awkwardly and sat down at the table.

“Good thing Annabeth wasn’t scheduled to close up today. I don’t know how I would ever explain myself to her,” he gave a small laugh, though Nico didn’t see the humor. He placed a few slices of pizza on a plate rather than comment.

“I don’t know, you seem to be pretty good at talking to people,” Jason commented. Nico had a pretty good idea of what he was referring to. Percy had supposedly swooped in yesterday and allowed Jason a chance to get away from Nico’s monster of a father. Even if nothing else good came out of Percy knowing Nico’s secret, Nico would be content with knowing that it helped protect Jason at least once.

“Well, I do what I can to help,” Percy shrugged. “If you don’t mind me asking though, what’s the end plan, here? Assuming you do manage to bust Mr. di Angelo?”

“California,” Nico answered immediately.

“Stanford?” Percy guessed.

Nico looked down at his food. “Yeah.” He could only imagine what Percy would think of him, what everyone would think of him. Running from his past and continuing to live with the guy who had only become his boyfriend after Nico had forced himself into every minute of Jason’s life. Okay, logically Nico knew it wasn’t like that, but surely others would see it that way.

Not that that was one of Nico’s biggest concerns, but still…

“And what about your mother?” Percy inquired.

Nico froze. He’d… he’d nearly forgotten that his mother would be coming along. His mother, the woman who had been his priority and original mission from the start. His own goddamn mother and he had nearly forgotten about her when making his future plans. Hadn’t he and Nico talked about living with Thalia? Having a room together? That couldn’t possibly happen. He would live with his mother, of course. He was only sixteen, and living with his boyfriend was just crazy, right? Teenagers should live with their families, and Nico—like it or not—was a di Angelo, not a Grace.

So why was it that he kept visualizing his future with Jason? His bed with Jason? His life with Jason?

“She’ll come too, of course. The change of scenery will be just as needed for her as for me.”

Nico shook away his thoughts, shoved them aside as temporary insanity due to his current situation. Of course Nico was picturing staying with Jason, because that was how his life had been as of late. Once he got his mother back, things would be normal. Jason and Nico could be normal boyfriends, instead of roommates who happened to kiss and make love a lot.

How things should be. How they _ought_ to be.

“Hey,” Jason whispered, brushing Nico’s arm lightly, “You’re zoning out on us.”

“Oh,” Nico straightened up and refocused his vision. “Sorry.”

“Everyone is going so far for university, and I’ll just be at Long Island,” Percy said wistfully.

“Leo is going to be here, he says someone will have to drag him out of this city kicking and screaming if they ever want him to leave,” Jason offered up.

Nico listened partially to the rest of the dinner conversation, but his mind kept drifting elsewhere.

His attention returned fully after dinner, when Jason’s phone beeped with a text message. “My mother is really driving me crazy. It’s like she can’t decide when she wants to be a mindless alcoholic and when she wants to be a mother.”

“What does she want now?” Nico asked, frowning at the crease that had formed between his boyfriend’s eyebrows.

“Asking me when the hell I plan on coming home. I told her the Chiron thing would last a few days, but apparently she doesn’t grasp that concept.

“Oh,” Nico swallowed. “You don’t think she’ll be home, do you?”

“No, it’s just after ten. She’s likely been out for a while now. You know she starts early,” he rolled his eyes and responded to the text. “Sometimes I wonder how the hell she will survive when I’m gone, but then I remember that it isn’t really my problem.”

Nico nearly cringed. He certainly wasn’t a fan of Jason’s mother either, but hearing such callous words fall from Jason’s mouth was surprising. Only while discussing Hades had Nico ever seen Jason so clearly dislike someone. Despite his own glaring family issues, Nico felt bad for Jason. His home was full of ghosts of a happier, fuller past. His mother was right in front of him, but only the shell of the woman she used to be. His father, whatever kind of man he might have been, had been the only thing holding his mother together. And the one person who he still could turn to, Thalia, was thousands of miles away. No wonder he had been so willing to let Jason into his home and into his life.

Nico ached to kiss him. To wrap Jason in his arms. To be there for him, like Jason always was for Nico.

But Percy Jackson was literally two feet away and Nico wasn’t nearly comfortable around others to show that kind of affection. Well, other than the night Nico had left the apartment last week to come here, but that was an exception.

“Okay, how about you guys get your bags and I will go bring my car around,” Percy prompted, almost as if he could silently sense Nico’s desires. Though, that was crazy, Nico knew.

“Yeah, sounds great,” Jason said, his bitter look suddenly transforming into a friendly smile.

As the door shut behind Percy, Nico went up behind Jason and looped his arms around him. “Hi,” he breathed into Jason’s t-shirt.

“Hey,” Jason replied, turning around so he faced Nico and lightly pecking his lips.

“That the best you can kiss me?” Nico teased, scooting even closer to the blond.

“Percy will be back in a few minutes,” Jason supplied, “And time kind of tends to get away from us when my tongue is in your mouth.”

“You know, Jay, I think they invented a name for that.”

Jason grinned and laid another, slightly more drawn out kiss, on Nico’s lips. “When we get home, okay?”

“Fine,” Nico sighed, taking Jason’s hands and dragging him to the bedroom to collect their bags.

“Oh, by the way, Chiron mentioned that you can take any of his books from up here back to the apartment, since you’ve read most of what I have.”

While Jason gathered the last of his things, Nico returned to the living room to scan the shelves. He had a stack piled high in his arms when he heard a distant ringing from the kitchen.

“Jay, your phone!” Nico called.

“It might be Percy, can you go see?” Jason replied from the other room.

Nico placed the books on the ground and walked back to the kitchen counter, where Jason had placed his phone after getting the text from his mother. Assuming that Jason was right and it was Percy, he nearly answered it.

It wasn’t Percy.

“Hestia is calling you,” Nico informed him, a frown working its way onto his face. “I didn’t realize you two were still talking.”

“Oh,” Jason’s head popped out of the bedroom, “She just keeps a watch on things. Don’t answer.”

“Obviously,” Nico retorted.

He called Hestia back as they headed down the stairs, but she didn’t pick up this time. “Huh,” Jason huffed, “probably an accidental call. She doesn’t seem very tech savvy.”

“She got a computer last year,” Nico laughed, forgetting his initial worry. If it was really important, Hestia would call back. “Okay, let’s go downstairs. The sooner we get home, the sooner you can put your tongue in my mouth, as you so eloquently referred to it.”

Jason smirked. “Let’s go wait for Percy.”

 

…

 

“Thanks Man,” Jason said to Percy, sliding out of the car first. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“Yeah, for sure. And I’ll see you around, Nico. Or well, not _around_ but later,” Percy scratched his head as Nico exited the vehicle. Even though he kept his head low and his hood up, he could tell that Jason was still partially guarding him with his own body, blocking Nico from public view. Not that there were many people walking around anyway—Jason’s neighborhood was more business than residential.

The doorman once again didn’t look up as Nico and Jason crossed through the lobby. Honestly, he might have been asleep. When Nico had left for Chiron’s last week, the guy hadn’t even been working. He was lucky that the guy wasn’t better at his job, as crossing through the lobby was always the riskiest part of the journey.

Twenty floors later, Nico blew out a relieved breath. Unless a stampede of people suddenly came racing down the hallway, he and Jason were safe. “Home sweet home,” Jason mumbled, sticking his key into the door.

“Wait,” Nico said, placing his hand over Jason’s. “While I’m still sort of in the free world,” he leaned in and kissed Jason softly.

“You’re so weird,” Jason noted, pushing the door open with a grin. “I mean, I love you, but you’re weird.”

“Jason,” Nico said, stepping into the dark apartment, “you invited a potential murderer into your home, and _I’m_ the weird one?”

“Funny you should mention that,” a voice said as Jason snapped the lights on.

But the voice… wasn’t Jason’s.

A male voice, a familiar voice, a voice that Nico would know anywhere in the world. But Not. Jason’s. Voice.

And that was when Nico realized that he and Jason weren’t alone. No, not even close.

Two men stood by the windows across the room, staring from a distance. One of them Nico had never seen before, the other was Atlas Torrington.

Closer to Nico, standing halfway between the door and the windows, was none other than Nico’s father. Hades di Angelo.

Hades in Jason’s apartment. Hades right there, after all of these months.

But even that sight was not what turned Nico’s blood to ice. It was the knife in Hades’ hand, the woman trapped in the circle of his arm.

Hades was _here,_ and he’d brought Nico’s mother.

“Hello, Nicky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 
> 
> "The clock is striking midnight, can't you hear? Not all tales have happy endings, we can't keep pretending, cause there's no such thing as heroes who are queer." -Did I mention that the guy who sings the song the chapter title is based off of is named Jason? Mmm, foreshadowing. 
> 
> So, this was a pretty evil place to leave off. But, angel that I am, I will immediately write this next chapter instead of writing the new WYLEI chapter. Love all of you, it was just my birthday so you can't kill me!
> 
> Translations: (Courtesy of my fabulous friend igethomotional on tumblr, check her out!)  
> "Ma cazzo, scherziamo, come hai fatto a diventare più sexy da ieri a oggi?" - You're fucking kidding me, did you actually get hotter since yesterday?  
> "Disse il ragazzo nudo." - Says the naked guy.  
> "Ma non capisci nemmeno una parola. Per quanto ne sai potrei aver appena elencato i miei passatempi preferiti." - But you cannot understand a word I am saying. I could be listing my favorite hobbies for all you know.  
> "Come vuoi ragazzo molto, molto arrapato. Non che io stia messo diversamente, eh?" - As you wish, you horny, horny boy. Though I guess I am not any better, am I?  
> "O potresti semplicemente fotterti me." - Or you could just fuck me instead.  
> "Non dirmi che non vuoi la stessa cosa, Jason." - Don't tell me you don't want the same thing, Jason.


	25. Dearly Beloved We Are Gathered Here (Till Death Do Us Part)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most notes at the end but first...
> 
> WARNING: This chapter contains violence, use of homophobic slurs, and really tense situations. If you have any triggers and you are worried about this chapter, you can send me a message on tumblr at nephilimgirlbooks before reading and I can try to give you more details on anything you might potentially need to skip over.
> 
> Other than that, enjoy this very exciting climax chapter of The Murder Suspect!

“Hello, Nicky.”

The ice that had replaced Nico’s blood weighed his body down, rendering him immobile and stiff. His heart seemed the only thing in him still working, beating so frantically that Nico imagined his ribs cracking. Or maybe that was his heart cracking, maybe each spastic beat brought it closer to shattering.

Or maybe it was just Nico. Nico was shattering.

His world was shattering.

His stupid and false sense of security.

Shattering.

And all of it, all of Nico’s thoughts and feelings, all of what made Nico, Nico, vanished instantly. Destroyed and replaced by one feeling. Fear.

Nico thought that he had never gotten rid of his fear. He thought that fear lived with him every moment of his last few months. Only now did he realize that that level of fear had been child’s play. It had been _worry._ And this, standing in a room with the boy who mattered most to him at his side, the woman who he would give anything for standing a mere ten feet away, and the monster who had already devastated his life a million times over beside her, this was _terror._ Pure, unadulterated terror that Nico had not felt with such intensity since the night of Bianca’s murder.

“Father,” he managed to say, his body shivering violently as the word passed his lips.

Maria di Angelo cried and reached out for her son. It was then that Nico noticed the gag tied around her mouth, preventing any intelligible words from being spoken on her part. The sight made Nico’s stomach twist painfully. His mother, the only person left in his immediate family that he cared about—the woman he had sworn he would save. Now she was so close, but also farther than she had ever been.

“What is this?” Jason said, the noise so close that Nico cringed. Then, suddenly, Jason was in front of Nico—his broad shoulders partially obstructing Nico’s view of the room. Jason’s voice was low, rough. Maybe he was scared—no, he was definitely scared, he had to be—but he did a better job of hiding it than Nico. Jason Grace, always the hero.

_But I don’t want you to be,_ Nico thought miserably. He pleaded with his fingers, with his joints, with his muscles to _move._ He needed to move so he could grab Jason, so he could drag him back and get him as far away from Hades as possible. No terror was stronger than the now likely possibility of Jason getting hurt. The blond had only the slightest idea what Hades was capable of. Nico was an expert.

“It’s a game of cat and mouse finally come to a close, Jason. Guess who the cat is?” Nico couldn’t see his father’s expression. He was lucky for that.

God, what a joke. Luck didn’t exist when your name was Nico di Angelo.

 

…

 

Jason’s hands were shaking, and he hoped like hell no one had noticed. Especially not Nico. Not Nico, who seemed to be shrinking more and more with every word that came from Hades’ mouth. Nico, who could barely speak or move or do anything other than stare at his father in complete and utter horror. Jason couldn’t bring himself to look at Nico’s face for more than a second. If he stared too long, he would fall apart. Jason _would not_ fall part right now. For both of their sakes.

God. God fucking dammit. God _fucking_ dammit! This was all Jason’s fault. It had to be. Something he said, something he did. Jason had acted recklessly and now…

Now he had a bone-deep feeling that someone in this room wasn’t going to survive the night.

“Your face is giving all of your thoughts away, Jason Grace,” Hades taunted, a smug expression on his face. “You’re wondering how you lost. What gave you away. How long I have known about your despicable little relationship with my pathetic excuse for a son.”

Rage boiled inside of Jason. He could have lunged at the man. He wanted to. Now that everything was out in the open, Jason couldn’t act polite. He couldn’t hide his hatred for Hades di Angelo. Frightened or not, he wanted to rip the man to pieces.

He couldn’t, though. Hades had a knife, and back up. And even though going out of the world trying to remove Hades’ head from the rest of his body was a worthy enough cause, Jason would not force Nico to watch him essentially commit suicide. Because that’s what it would be. Suicide.

So he swallowed his rage once more. “Are you going to tell me or just keep standing there looking proud of yourself?” He swallowed _most_ of his rage.

One of the men by the windows—the broader, older one—snorted. “He’s spirited. If I recall, the last blond was all manners.”

_Luke,_ Jason thought. This guy must have met Luke. Not that it really mattered, not with everything else going on. Luke didn’t matter, protecting Nico and Nico’s mother mattered.

It seemed to matter to Nico, though. He felt the boy behind him shift uncomfortably, sucking in a small breath.

“Nicky, why won’t you face me?” Hades teased. “Why don’t you pretend to have a spine, just like your precious Jason is pretending?” He said ‘precious’ like it were a detestable word, with the same distaste that Chiron used on the occasions that he used a particularly strong curse word.

Jason’s jaw tightened. Maybe his bravery act wasn’t as convincing as he’d hoped. Maybe none of his acting around Hades had been convincing at all, not even for a second.

“St—stop calling me that, and leave Jason out of this,” Nico said as he stepped away from Jason, his voice so soft that the latter barely heard it.

“Just like you did, _Nico?_ ” Hades shot back. “How long have you been here, anyway? Shacking up with this boy like a common whore because you were too scared to confront me. Did you forget about your dear, sweet mother?” He shoved Maria to the ground. “Come get her, if you still care.”

Maria whimpered and struggled to her hands and knees. Before Jason could reach out a hand to stop him, Nico was dashing to her. “Mom!”

Jason’s first instinct was to follow right after him, to do whatever he needed to keep a barrier between Nico and his father. But that wouldn’t save them. _My cell phone is in my back pocket_ , Jason recalled as Nico struggled to untie the gag around Maria’s mouth.

He just needed to slowly reach for it. Hopefully he could dial the three digit phone number correctly without looking. Just inch his hand back a second at a time and—

“I don’t think so,” Hades tsked, suddenly standing right in front of Jason and blocking his view of Nico and Maria. He gripped Jason’s wrist tightly and held it up, practically crushing the bones. Then, with his free hand, Hades retrieved Jason’s phone and smashed it against the wall. It fell to the floor in pieces.

“Jason!” Nico’s panicked voice rang out. Jason could hear the sound of the other boy scrambling to his feet. Before he could make more than a step in Jason’s direction, however, Hades spun them around. Now they faced Nico, and Jason was between Nico and his father once again. But now there was a knife tip held to his throat.

_I’m going to die,_ was all Jason had time to think.

“Stay where you are, son. If you or your mother screams or makes any sudden movements, I will have to hurt Jason. A lot.”

Nico froze, looking between his mother and Jason. He made no further moves.

“Thanatos, Atlas, will you come over here, please?” Hades requested. The two men by the windows—Jason didn’t know which was which—started toward them. “You men can hold Jason while we all catch up. I don’t trust him to not do something stupid, and I don’t think he is fears me enough yet.”

Where Hades had once been holding Jason, the two lackeys took his place, one gripped each arm, and Hades—the knife still in his grip—circled around them.

“So, now that I have everyone’s attention, where was I?” Hades mused. The sick bastard had a smile on his face. He was enjoying this. He took sadistic pleasure in scaring Nico, in torturing him in a variety of ways. “Oh, right. How did I come to find out about this particular arrangement.”

So… that was how it was going to be. Hades was going to monologue like some comic book villain and then start in with some physical torture. Jason hoped the target of that torture was him. Even if Nico _did_ have to see, it was better than having the knife turned on Nico or Maria. Maybe the teenager would even think to grab his mother and run. Maybe Nico could make it out.

If it came down to it, at least then Jason would die knowing he hadn’t completely failed Nico.

Still, even that bleak ending felt like a lot to hope for.

“Well, the first time we met, Jason, I wasn’t really suspicious of you. Anyone from my children’s school would likely be familiar with the case and especially curious. I’d nearly forgotten about our meeting for a time, until you started lurking around across the street. Getting Hestia Stathos to keep an eye on me, how clever of you.”

“Hestia,” Jason’s stomach churned. The phone call earlier. Had she been warning him? She hadn’t picked up when Jason called back. _Dammit. Goddamn._

“The nosy old bitch got what was coming to her, don’t look so distressed,” Hades said dismissively. The broader, older of the men at Jason’s left side chuckled lightly.

“It was a team effort,” he breathed in Jason’s ear.

“No!” Jason thrashed. If not for the men holding him, he would have collapsed. Nico actually had fallen to his knees, Jason noticed. “No! What did you do to her?”

The knife was aimed at Jason once again. “Be quiet, Jason,” Hades sounded impatient.

“You bastards! You filthy fucking _bastards._ ”

“I can turn the knife on my son, if you don’t quiet down,” he offered, raising an eyebrow as if he actually expected Jason to consider. When Jason said nothing, Hades gave a pleased smile.

“Now, where was I? Oh, yes. I don’t like to jump to conclusions right away. I considered several different reasons why you were trying to keep an eye on me. My first thought was you were one of Bianca’s school friends, and that maybe you knew a little too much about the nature of my family. But then,” he turned to Nico with a wicked light in his eyes, “I couldn’t help but notice the resemblance to my son’s last infatuation. Tall, blond hair, blue eyes. It’s the blue eyes that get you, isn’t it, Nicky?”

“Stop taunting him,” Jason snapped. “He is being still and quiet just like you want him to. Leave him alone.”

“It’s interesting,” the younger looking man—Jason had to guess he was in his mid-twenties—noted. “Atlas, look at how Nico’s torment affects this one,” he nodded his head at Jason. “He’s so fidgety all of a sudden.”

“Nico seems the same way, you can see the pain in his eyes. He keeps turning back to Maria, too. Guess he knows she isn’t in the clear yet, either,” the other man, Atlas, commented. “He doesn’t know who to worry about more.”

“Gentlemen, I was not finished,” Hades sighed, irritation crossing his face. The men stopped talking. “Anyway, I decided I would go to the school to try to find out more about you. That gave me all the answers I needed to know.”

“We barely spoke at the school!” Jason protested.

“Atlas, please hold up Jason’s right arm.” Hands squeezed tighter at Jason’s elbow and forearm and his limb was forced away from his side. A familiar leather band circled his wrist.

“The cuff bracelet,” Hades nodded. “My faggot son must have given it to you as some little romantic keepsake. How _sweet._ I noticed it when we shook hands, and it simply confirmed my suspicions about you.”

Jason and Nico’s eyes met in panic. How had they both forgotten the fucking bracelet? Jason had been wearing it for a few weeks now, in the same place he’d usually worn his father’s watch. It felt so natural that he was hardly even aware of its presence anymore.

Nico had told Jason that the only people who could possibly recognize it were members of his immediate family. And Jason had gone and flashed it right in front of Hades di Angelo, Nico’s fucking father.

“Oh, and then your pitiful drunken mother filled in a few gaps, with her limited amount of knowledge.”

“My mother?” Jason struggled against the arms restraining him. “What the fuck did you do?” He’d never thought to wonder how Hades had so easily found his way into Jason’s apartment. Now he felt bile rise in his throat. _Please be alive._

“I tracked her down, found out what bars she frequented. This was just tonight, actually. Your mother—already completely intoxicated—was quite easy to get information from. She told be all about her apparently-queer son making out with some random boy she’d never seen in his bed. When I showed her a picture of Nico, of course she confirmed that the boy looked just like him. And then I asked if she would like to invite me into her apartment, and she was _very_ willing.”

“Where is she? What did you do to my mother? Did you fucking kill her, too?” He struggled harder, his vision tinged red. His mother may not have been the best woman in the world, but she was still his mother and if Hades had hurt her, Jason was going to drown him in a pool of his own blood.

He didn’t care if that made him a killer, he’d do it anyway. It would be justified.

Hades laughed. “Oh, she’s fine. I drugged her, she’ll be asleep for a while.”

“She’s also tied to the bed,” a new voice added. Jason whipped his head to the left to find a boy, probably even younger than him, leaning against the entrance to the hallway where the bedrooms were. “Hades, I made sure to take her phone and break it, just like you instructed.”

Nico, looking as if he had seen a ghost, quickly rose to his feet. “Alabaster?” He gasped.

The boy, Alabaster apparently, did not meet Nico’s eyes. Jason, momentarily pushing worries about his mother aside, wondered about the new arrival. Nico knew him, that was obvious, but Jason had never heard the name mentioned before.

No one else in the room, however, took any interest in the reunion.

“Excellent, Alabaster. I guess we can get going, then.”

“Going?” Jason wondered. “Where are we going?”

Hades looked back at him, his wickedness radiating like an aura, “To the roof.”

 

…

 

Other than the initial shock of seeing Hades and his mother, nothing that followed had truly surprised Nico. His father was a monster who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted, so he certainly wouldn’t hesitate over manipulation, spying, and murder.

The appearance of Alabaster—Nico’s first-ever and at one point only friend—that _did_ surprise Nico. Alabaster had always been an asshole, but he wasn’t evil. He could have told their fathers that Luke was bisexual two years ago, and he hadn’t. Alabaster treated Nico like shit and was endlessly selfish, but this? Working with Hades and his father to… to…

Nico shook the thought away. He had a million worries racing through his mind, he didn’t have the energy to focus on Alabaster. Especially not with the words his father had just spoken. The roof.

Someone was going to die. That much was devastatingly certain.

He swallowed hard, but to no avail. His mouth had gone bone dry long ago.

“Thanatos, escort my wife please. Atlas, you take Jason. I’ll handle my son.” Hades reached for Nico.

“No!” Jason snarled. “No, you don’t _touch_ him. You don’t fucking touch him.” He drove his elbow up, catching Atlas in the chin. The man cursed, and released him. Thanatos rolled his eyes and stepped back as well, and then there was a small wink of light as Hades readjusted his knife and grabbed Nico by the hair.

Nico hissed in pain. “Jason, I don’t have to tell you what happens if you don’t do as I say.” The hand that gripped Nico’s hair loosened, moving instead down to Nico’s temple and across his cheek. He shuttered, feeling his father’s touch for the first time in months. Then the same hand gripped Nico’s chin so tightly he nearly cried out in pain. If it weren’t for Jason there, he would have. He couldn’t be so weak in front of Jason, who was clearly trying to be strong. Instead, Nico’s shut his eyes tight.

“I am the one calling the shots, your behavior is up to you, but the consequences are up to me.”

“Fine. Fine.” Jason sounded pained, like bruises were forming on his own jaw rather than Nico’s. “Just please don’t hurt him. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“I know you will. You both will. How weak, how predictable,” Nico’s father sounded bored as he released Nico’s face. “Let’s go.”

Jason’s apartment was only one down from the staircase, the walk through the hallway was brief. Even though Hades had stored the knife in his jacket, the weight of it could still be felt, as if he were pressing it into Nico’s back. Alabaster lead the procession, opening doors and not meeting Nico’s eyes. Maria and Thanatos walked alongside Nico and Hades, and Jason and Atlas were right behind. Nico heard the familiar tread of Jason’s feet and felt dizzy. The nerves, the bruises ready to form on Nico’s skin, the smell of his father, the sound of Jason, the sight of his mother—there was too much familiarity at once for Nico to stand. Not enough Nico left to contain all of it. Only fear held its ground—fear filling him to the point of bursting.

“I’m so sorry, Nico,” his mother whispered, glancing at him sideways. “I should have done more for you.” Her voice, so achingly familiar, another feeling he didn’t have room for. The words grazed his skin and drifted away.

“There is nothing to be sorry for,” Nico breathed back, meeting her eyes for only a moment. He couldn’t imagine what it must have been like, spending the last months with Hades alone. Sharing a bed with the same man who had murdered her daughter and ruined her son’s life. The fact that she hadn’t turned totally insane by now proved that she was a stronger woman than Nico had ever imagined.

They started up the stairs. Jason’s floor was the second from the top, so the walk wasn’t nearly long enough. Nico wasn’t in a rush to see what cruelty his father had planned. If his father hadn’t been holding his wrists behind his back, Nico may have attempted to throw himself down the stairs and break his neck. If he died, maybe Jason and his mother would be shown mercy.

The night felt colder from over twenty stories up. That was the first impression Nico got as Alabaster pushed the door to the roof—which probably should have been locked, unless Hades had seen to it that it was unlocked earlier—open.

“Leave it propped, son,” Atlas told Alabaster as he and Jason followed Nico and Hades through the door. “Don’t want it locking.”

“You could always take the shortcut to the ground, Atlas,” Thanatos joked. Nico knew it was a joke because the laugh was actually lighthearted. Lighthearted, at a moment like this. Unbelievable. This man was no different from Nico’s father. Hades had probably mentored the man himself.

Once everyone was on the roof, Hades released Nico and shoved him to the ground. Jason made a sound of protest, but didn’t move. Nico, the palms of his hands now scraped, rose carefully to his feet. He didn’t know where to go, though. Why was it Jason had to be restrained, but threats alone were considered adequate for keeping Nico in place? He wanted Jason released immediately, but what leverage did he have? And what about his mother? No one seriously believed she would fight back, so why bother with her?

“So now what?” Jason spat. “You didn’t come here just to talk.”

Right, Jason was being restrained because he actually had some fight in him, and Nico was pathetic and terrified.

“Ugh, the mouth on you,” Hades rolled his eyes. “I’m going to enjoy causing you pain.”

“No,” Nico sputtered suddenly, flinging himself between Jason and Hades. If Hades was going to harm Jason, he’d have to beat Nico unconscious first. Have to kill him first. “No. No.” Maybe terror brought adrenaline with it. Maybe Nico was too stupid in love with Jason to feel even fear. Or maybe it was the fear that made him stupid. Maybe he feared so much because he loved so much.

Hades inclined an eyebrow at his son. “Are you going to do something about it, Nicky? I thought you were too cowardly to even speak to me.”

“You—you can’t hurt Jason. Please. He really innocent in this. You have never done anything for me in my whole life, just do this one thing.”

Hades’ responding laugh sounded deafening out in the open air of the rooftop. Nico cringed, instinctively taking a step closer to where Atlas had Jason. “Never done anything for you? Now that is the biggest joke I’ve ever heard.”

Nico wrapped his arms around his torso, cold for more reasons than just the wind. “I don’t follow.”

“The beatings, the punishment, the pain I inflicted on you and those around you, did you assume I did these things because I am just pure evil?”

“Yes,” Nico muttered, glancing to his mother. “Because you are.”

Hades laughed again, almost as loud as the first time. “Oh, Nicky, there is so much you do not understand. You see, as my son, you were the one who was supposed to keep up the family business once I was gone. It’s a dangerous, hard, and often bloody job, selling black market items to certain… elite buyers. But as my son, as a child of one of the greater families in New York, I thought you would be able to do it. Apparently, family name wasn’t enough to stop you from being a complete failure. You’re weak, you’ve always been weak. Too noble, too loving, too pathetic.”

Nico grit his teeth. His father wasn’t lying. Nico _was_ weak. Pathetic. He had always been afraid to fight back, and even now he was afraid. Even now, he would likely let Hades do whatever he pleased to him, and only be able to beg desperately for Jason’s and his mother’s safety. Jason had always said that Nico was brave, but he was so, so wrong. He caught Jason staring at him, his eyes wide and filled with pain.

_Oh, Jason. I’ve failed you in every way possible._

Hades, noticing Jason’s expression, continued his speech. “And you’re a faggot, to top it all off. I don’t know how you could possibly be my son.”

“You’re disappointed because your son has a heart,” Jason growled. “Incredible.” Hades ignored him.

“I tried to strengthen you, Nico. I had hope. But you were never callous enough. You would take beatings for your sister, even though that only led to you getting hurt. You loved. You cared. In my business, caring too much could get you killed in an instant. I just couldn’t beat those damned feelings out of you, unfortunately. For a while, I was quite discouraged.” He scratched his brow with the tip of the knife. “Then, eventually, I made a discovery. The time you showed potential, the only time I ever saw someone violent in there, someone like me, was when I hurt your mother and sister. I wanted to push you. To see just how much of me was inside of you. So I killed Bianca.”

“You despicable fucking poor excuse for a—” A hand was clamped over Jason’s mouth.

“You really do have a mouth on you,” Thanatos grumbled.

“She was your own daughter,” Nico shook his head. “I don’t get it. The ‘family business’ is more important than the lives of your actual family?”

“Well, Bianca’s death, looking back, _was_ essentially for nothing. But that is your own fault. When your beloved sister was dead, you didn’t attack me, or fight back, or anything. The violence I hoped was inside you never made an appearance. You just cried over her body like a weakling, and then you ran. So I let you get blamed for the murder. I knew then that you would never follow in my footsteps.”

“I don’t want to follow in the footsteps of a monster,” Nico snarled.

“You’re the family disgrace, Nico. When your grandfather died, he told me that his biggest regret was that the family line would end with me. You were only four years old, but it was already clear to him. And then, as you got older, not only were you weak, but queer, to dishonor me even more.” He started toward Jason casually, his steps unhurried as he monologued. “Back when I still had hope, I tried to scare the fag out of you. I thought after what happened to the other stupid blond boy, Luke, you would have learned better.” He aimed his knife at Jason’s neck. “But now look at what we have here.”

“Father, please!” Nico’s legs learned how to move and he tried to fling himself at the man, only to have a pair of arms loop around his waist and stop him.

Nico stiffened in surprise and whipped his head to find it was Alabaster who had grabbed him. “Bastard! Traitor! Is this what you want to be like, Alabaster? Like one of them? Like our fathers? Bianca was your friend, too! How can you stand for this? Bastard! Bastard! You are the worst kind of rat to ever exist!” He struggled and kicked, but Alabaster didn’t so much as flinch.

Nico couldn’t control the rage anymore. He couldn’t even feel how scared he was—the hysteria had drowned that out. How dare his father try to blame Nico for Bianca’s death! And then to look back and realize it was all for nothing. Bianca’s death had been a mere _experiment_ to him. He had ruined Nico’s whole life to test a theory, and then taken away any chance at restoring what he had stolen when he blamed the whole ordeal on Nico. And all because of what? Family honor?

He nearly screamed in frustration.

“Okay, you are right! You are never going to make me the son you want! I’m a complete failure! So why are you here? Why can’t you just leave me alone? Leave all of us alone! Let me take my mother and Jason and just disappear from your life forever!”

“Don’t you see, Nico? That’s impossible, now. You can’t play innocent, I know you and Jason were trying to expose the truth. Do you think I would let that go unpunished?”

“No,” Nico begged. “Please, no.”

“Alabaster, release Nico and grab my wife instead, please.”

The second Nico was released, he practically fell forward from the struggling.

Hades held up the knife once more for his son to see. “Take a single step and I’ll let Thanatos here cut out one of dear Jason’s kidneys… blindfolded.”

Thanatos grinned wickedly. “Fair warning, I’m not very good with anatomy.”

Atlas snorted. “Stab your knife around, I’ll tell you if you’re getting warmer or colder.”

“ _Don’t!_ ” Nico screamed, dropping to his knees. He felt the skin rip open and fresh blood drip onto the rooftop, but there was no pain. Nico felt nothing. “I won’t move. I won’t. Keep the knife away from him.”

“What if I just cut him up a little, Hades, as a warning?” Thanatos asked, withdrawing a knife of his own. A small one, only a pocket knife—but Nico had seen firsthand the kind of damage those could do. Tears started to prick at his eyes. Nico struggled to breathe.

“Not necessary for now. Alabaster, if you will?” Nico watched as Alabaster dragged Maria over to the men. She offered little protest, but Nico saw wetness on her cheeks.

She had figured it out, just as Nico had.

History was about to repeat itself, three months later, and Nico didn’t have any more power to stop it than he had the first time.

“Now, the obvious concern is that you will still try to expose me. You know too much, and so do Jason and Maria here.”

“No.” He couldn’t tell if that was rage or fear controlling his voice. All he could feel was the utter wrongness of his father’s suggestion. All he knew for sure was that he had to protect the ones he loved.

Hades acted as if Nico hadn’t spoken. “To prove to you that I am not unnecessarily cruel, I will spare one of them. Surely the one who lives will be too frightened to talk. You choose who that lucky person gets to be.”

“No. No!” He had to stop this. He—he had to—how could he—how could—

“Who’s it gonna be Nicky? Who do you love more? Mommy, or your tragic little boyfriend? Who are you killing tonight?”

“Let them go!” He yelled, understanding exactly why Hades had brought them to the roof. No residents of the building would be able to hear this. There would be no one coming to their aid. The perfect plan. “Fuck! Just kill me. Kill me already! I’m the one you want to hurt. They have nothing to do with this!”

“Nico, _no!_ ” Jason shouted, Thanatos’s hand no longer over his mouth. Hades probably wanted to hear his voice now, to hear him panic, maybe beg for his own life. Nico knew Jason would never do such a thing.

Still, Hades chuckled to himself. “The mother who raised you and the reckless boy with the pretty blue eyes you convinced to throw his life away? The person you’re so foolishly in love with? They have everything to do with this, Nicky. They make you feel powerful. You’re not powerful. You’re a weakling. Your own sister was two feet in front of you and you couldn’t even save her.”

“Shut up!” Nico spat, his voice tight with the growing threat of the tears.

“That’s not an option, Nico. Now, who do you love more, Mommy or Jason?”

“You’re ruining him, Hades,” Maria choked. She’d spoken so little, it was hard to remember that she even had a voice. The mere sound of it split Nico’s heart apart. “Our own son.”

“I told you, kill me! You kill me, and let them go. This can all be over. Please. _Please._ ” His vision blurred as a few tears slid down his cheeks.

“Nico, listen,” Jason pleaded. “Even if he killed you, he wouldn’t let us walk away. Don’t worry about us. So run. For me.”

“Oh, look at Jason, thinking he’s so clever. What do you think, Maria? Isn’t he clever for a faggot?”

Nico’s mother bit her lip. It looked as if she were shivering. Nico refused to believe Jason’s words were true. It couldn’t be hopeless. There had to be some way for them to live. Some way for Jason to live.

_And my mother. She must live too_ , Nico added.

“You’re even less human than I ever believed,” Nico hissed. “All the dramatics, cornering me here, the ultimatums. I didn’t turn out how you want, so you throw a tantrum. You’re murdering out of _pride_.”

“Am I the murderer if you’re the one killing them?” Hades lifted an eyebrow at his son.

“GO TO HELL!” Nico screamed, rage and fear and hysteria making his voice feel absolutely raw.

Hades tsked. “I guess you’re leaving the choice to me, then? Fine.”

_Jason_ Nico thought fleetingly, in complete panic. _Live._

But Hades didn’t go for Jason.

In a split second, he grabbed Maria by the hair, tugged back on it to expose her neck, and slit her throat.

She didn’t make any sound, save for a single, small gasp.

But Nico did.

His scream was nearly inhuman as he threw himself forward, no longer able to worry about the threats. He hit the ground at the same time as his mother’s body, and his tears wet the rooftop along with her blood. “No, no, no, not again. No. Mamma!”

So much blood. Blood everywhere. The knife must have cut her carotid artery. Nico pressed his fingers into her cheeks, begged him to stay with her.

“Mamma, per favore.”

Minutes past and felt like seconds, or maybe it really only was seconds. Nico had no grasp of time. It was as if Nico were the one bleeding out, not his mother. All of Nico poured onto the cold concrete.

“Don’t leave me,” he pleaded. Maria’s face, wet with Nico’s tears, did not move, and Nico knew she was already gone. “No!” He sobbed, unable to find any other word to encompass the unbearable heartbreak. Nico felt completely nonexistent and far too present simultaneously. No sister, no mother, no family. Who was Nico di Angelo without them? They were the skeleton, Nico only the skin. Without them, he was nothing. Useless.

No, no there was one more. A final string looping around every remaining piece of Nico’s broken heart fragments.

Jason crouched on the other side of the woman’s body, though Nico had not even noticed Hades release him. Had not even noticed Hades take several steps back, giving him the perfect vantage point to watch the whole scene unfold.

“Nico,” Jason whispered, his voice apologetic. Nico didn’t look at him, he couldn’t. Not because of anything Jason had done, but because of what Nico himself had done.

_I’ve killed her,_ he thought. _I’ve killed my own mother. My family doesn’t exist anymore._

Nico pressed his forehead to his mother’s chest and screamed.

 

…

 

Nico’s screams were blades of their own, stabbing Jason over and over and over. He wanted to reach out for Nico, to hold him, to pull him away from Maria’s lifeless body and force him to breathe. But he remained still, figuring that Nico wanted to be left alone. The younger boy hadn’t acknowledged Jason when he had spoken his name, and Jason couldn’t push away the thought that Nico would probably never want to acknowledge Jason again. Jason Grace, the boy who had lived while his mother died.

No, Jason was being too optimistic. Because, despite Hades releasing him, Jason knew this wasn’t over. He would be lucky if he survived this—worrying over whether or not Nico hated him would have to come later. Jason looked down at his hands and found they were shaking again, though he didn’t know when they had started doing so. _This woman is dead,_ he thought. _Hestia probably is, too._

He had never actually seen someone die before, and he’d certainly never felt responsible for someone’s death. Until now.

The crushing weight of those two truths threatened to tear Jason apart, but he knew the real pain would come later as well. Jason refused to fall apart yet. Nico had fallen apart, sobbing and screaming over his mother’s corpse, so Jason had to be the strong one. He had to fight back, had to fight for Nico who could not.

“I’m sorry, Nico,” he said softly, even though he doubted Nico heard. “I love you, I’m sorry.” Jason rose to his feet. Nico glanced up at him as the blond turned his back to him.

“It’s unfortunate, isn’t it, when innocent people have to die?” Hades asked, tilting his head at Jason.

It was quiet, too quiet. It took Jason a minute to realize that Nico’s sobs had dropped to only small sniffling sounds.

“You’re a monster,” Jason told the di Angelo patriarch, putting all of the hatred he could gather into his words. “She was your _wife._ ”

“She was waiting to betray me,” Hades countered. “And disloyalty is something I cannot stand.”

“Oh yeah, because your moral compass isn’t _completely_ fucked up, or anything,” Jason seethed.

“Be careful, Jason Grace, I’m in a mother killing mood tonight.”

The image of Beryl Grace bleeding out in her bed made Jason shutter violently. He saw red.

“Stay away from her!” He bellowed, lunging forward at the man. Only when he saw the smirk on Hades’ face did he realize this was probably the reaction the man had been hoping to stir in him. Hades readjusted the knife in his hand.

“NO!”

 

…

 

_“I love you, I’m sorry.”_

Why had Jason said those words? Why did it sound like he really meant goodbye?

Nico still clung to his mother, but his eyes were glued to Jason as he rose to his feet.

_No, don’t go,_ Nico wanted to say. _I love you so much, you’re all I have left._

Words were exchanged between Jason and Hades, and Nico strained to hear them over his sniffling and the wild beating of his own heart. When Jason tensed and threw himself at Hades, Nico’s heart was ripped away, leaving Nico’s chest an open, bloody wound.

“NO!” He screamed, nearly tripping over his mother’s body in an attempt to get between his father and Jason. The pieces of Nico’s heart that still existed all belonged to Jason, and he would die before he watched another person get taken away from him.

By adrenaline or God or pure luck, Nico collided with his father before Jason could reach him. There was a flash of silver as Hades raised his knife, slicing a shallow line into Nico’s collarbone. His shirt tore open and became damp with blood, but the actual pain of the wound went unnoticed. Nico had suffered a lot worse, and there were more pressing matters at hand.

“Nico!” Jason cried, inertia sending his body into Nico’s. The three of them—Hades, Jason, and Nico hit the ground at the same time. They grappled briefly on the cold cement, a fist connecting with Jason’s face and Nico’s knee catching Hades’ side, before Nico was suddenly plucked into the air by a pair of pale, strong arms. Thanatos’s arms. The pocket knife was clutched tightly in one fist, nearly plunging into Nico’s skin.

Nico clawed at them and screamed Jason’s name over and over, his throat burning from the effort. At the same time, Hades pinned Jason to the ground.

“So this is how it is, huh Nicky?” Hades said, and Nico noticed that he too was yelling at this point. “You’d practically step on your mother for this trash?”

“Shut up!” Nico screeched.

“I made the wrong call, it would seem! You love Blue Eyes here more than your own mother, don’t you?”

“You shut the fuck up!”

Jason spat in Hades’ face in response to the accusation.

“This faggot puppy love you have for him is simply disgusting, and I can’t tolerate it anymore. We’re finishing this. Now.” He got to his feet, dragging Jason up after him and handing him off to Atlas. Jason’s nose was dripping blood, and it looked like it might be broken. Nico couldn’t even despair over it at this point. Jason was alive. That was all that mattered.

Alabaster retrieved the knife from where it had fallen, several feet away from Nico’s ankles. Hades rewarded him with a proud smile that had never been directed at Nico.

“In any other circumstance, Nico, I would feel hopeful at seeing there is still some fight left in you. But, you’ve already proven to me that you will never be what I want.”

“Do what you want to me,” Nico dared him. “Turn me in, torture me, kill me. I don’t care.” His shirt stuck to his skin where the blood leaked out. “Just let Jason leave. He won’t turn you in. I promise. He and his mother don’t have any part in this. They know better than to go against you. So pl—pleas—”

“Fine,” Hades agreed. “I will let him go, on one condition.” He ran his finger over the blade of the knife. “Stab him.”

Jason’s eyes widened. Nico stopped breathing altogether. “What?”

“If you stab him, riiiight,” he grazed the knife down to rest in the middle of Jason’s abdomen, “here as hard as you can, then I’ll let him go.”

“No, no way! He could easily bleed to death.”

“Maybe, maybe not,” Hades shrugged.

Nico shook his head violently. Stab Jason as hard as he could? Intentionally inflect pain on Jason Grace—the same Jason Grace who had rescued him from his nightmares and eased his troubles with compassion and affection. Nico could never do that, especially not when it could very well lead to fatality. Nico struggled to find a response, to say anything that would convince Hades that this was not a good idea.

All that came out was “Please.”

“You stab him once, or I stab him fifty times. Those are your options, Nicky.”

“And you call us pathetic,” Jason scoffed. “You’re the one torturing teenagers, trying to make everyone as sadistic as you so you don’t have to live with the truth of how alone you are. Nico will never be callous like you, but he isn’t weak for that. He is strong because the size of his heart, and since you don’t have a heart, you are just a sad, pitiful excuse for a man. You’re a coward!”

Hades eyed the blond and Nico watched as a small frown tainted his lips. He looked at Jason as if he were a disobedient pet and his eyes narrowed. “I retract my earlier statement, Nicky. Cut off four of his fingers, then stab him in the stomach, then he is free to go.”

“NO! FATHER NO! Jason won’t say anything, right Jason? Jason, tell him you won’t say anything. Please.”

Jason bit his lip, and for the first time that night, Nico saw tears start to well in Jason’s eyes. Had Thanatos not still been holding Nico up, he would have collapsed at the sight. _Why do you look like you are giving up?_ He screamed, but only in his head. Nico drove an elbow into Thanatos’s side, but the man only tightened his grip.

“No,” Nico repeated, but this time it was a whisper, his voice choked with the fresh round of tears that at the same time began spilling from his eyes.

“You can release him,” Hades decided, looking up at Thanatos. “He won’t make a move against me while his precious Jason is in danger.”

Nico hit the ground. His abused knees bled into his pants. As if to remind him not to act up, Hades pressed the tip of the knife over Jason’s chest. “Jason _will_ say something, Nico. Don’t you get it? He stupidly loves you, he wants to protect you. He ignored the risks of crossing me before, and now he must be punished. Just like Hestia. Just like your mother. And after this, we will seek out that other blond faggot and tie up those _loose ends_ as well.”

_Luke._ Nico swallowed hard. Luke would suffer more for Nico’s sake, and Nico had no idea how to stop him.

“Nico, you don’t have to do what he says,” Jason offered, his voice shaky. “Leave. Run. Forget about me and _run._ ”

“If I do that, he—he’ll _kill_ you,” Nico whimpered.

“He’s going to kill me anyway,” Jason told him weakly, and through the blur of Nico’s own tears, it looked like Jason had started to cry, too. “You’re not going to get away with this,” he continued, turning to Hades. “The truth always has a way of coming out! You think you can murder endlessly without consequence and cover your tracks every time, but you can’t!”

“But I can,” Hades corrected. “Imagine this. A teenage killer, alone in the streets, finds his way into the home of golden boy Jason Grace, where he threatens to kill him and his mother should any word of his whereabouts be shared. Sweet Jason, scared for his life, complies. However, when Jason’s mother finds out, things start to go wrong. Beryl Grace is tied up as a hostage. Nico needs to get out of town but decides to tie up the loose ends, first. He calls up his mother, telling her he wants to turn himself in, but he would like to talk to her first. Maria comes, and is killed on the roof of the Grace’s apartment. Then Jason Grace is killed. Beryl Grace is the final victim. Then Nico flees the scene of the crime only to be caught by his father, who turns him into the police. How does that so—”

Jason kicked up suddenly, knocking the knife from Hades hand and sending it flying across the rooftop. “DON’T LET HIM GET AWAY WITH IT, NICO!”

Nico scrambled to his feet and toward the knife, ignoring the sound of Jason’s cry of pain as Atlas or Hades hit him. A heavier thud as he hit the ground. _Focus. Focus._

He lunged for the knife, stretching his fingers out toward its handle. A foot came down on his hand. Nico screamed and looked up at the one who had stopped him. “Alabaster,” he croaked. “Why are you doing this? You know this is wrong. You’re—you’re not like our fathers. You don’t have to be.”

“I’m smart enough to stay alive, Nico,” he said, crouching down to pluck the knife up. He didn’t say it with malice, like Nico expected, but matter-of-factly. Almost sorrowful. “Things could have been different, for both of us. But what do you expect me to do now? I can’t fight back anymore than you can.”

“You’re not just a rat, you’re a snake,” Nico accused, sounding a little venomous himself.

“I do what it takes to survive,” Alabaster informed, kicking Nico hard in the shoulder. Nico buckled under the kick’s force.

“Alabaster! The knife!” Hades ordered. Nico looked back to the men, and released a tortured sob. Hades had Jason pinned to the ground once again, an arm pushing down on his windpipe while the other reached out expectantly for the knife.

Alabaster brought it to him. Nico crawled after him, unable to return to his feet. “Wait,” he huffed. “Alabaster, wait.”

“Any last words, Jason?”

“No, Father, I will do anything you ask. Please! Dammit, please!”

“Nico, I’m so sorry,” Jason choked, and Nico couldn’t see his face. He couldn’t see him. He _needed_ to see his face. But all he could see was his figure crushed under the mass of cruelty that was Hades.

“Please,” he cried, “I love him. Please. If you have any shred of a soul!”

Hades lowered the knife.

The door to the roof burst open. “FREEZE!”

Nico turned, wiping tears from his eyes as probably half a dozen cops poured onto the rooftop.

 

…

 

Jason had figured he was dead for sure. He’d felt a shallow cut as the knife pressed uncomfortably against his neck. He’d felt his chest ache as he struggled for oxygen. He’d mused over how the last, horrible sound he would hear were Nico’s pained cries.

And then another sound—a new, unheard voice entered Jason’s ears. “FREEZE!”

Hades tensed above Jason, dropping the knife to the side.

“Everyone to your feet, hands in the air!” Another voice commanded. Jason turned his head the slightest bit, saw the men in uniform with their guns raised. After months of fearing these men, Jason never thought there would be a day when their appearance brought Jason so much relief.

The police.

The crushing weight left Jason’s body as Hades shuffled to his feet, and Jason could barely process the difference. _Will they save us? What will they do to Nico?_

_Nico!_ Jason found that the dark haired boy had already risen to his feet, his hands shaking as he held them up in the air for all to see. Looking around, Jason found every other man on the rooftop had done the same.

“You,” one of them said, coming to Jason and helping him up, “get up too, if you can manage.

“I—I can,” he stammered. “Nico,” he added. “Nico didn’t do anything. Don’t arrest him, please.”

“We’re going to take you all to the station, okay?”

“My mother is tied up in apartment 2003,” Jason told the officer. “She needs help, too.”

“Okay, thank you. What is your name?”

“Jason Grace,” he told him. “And my mother is Beryl.”

“Okay, Jason. Let’s go.”

“Well I’ll be damned. It’s Nico di Angelo,” another cop said. “He’s bleeding, only other one who is injured. Should I cuff him?”

“He’s innocent, he’s innocent,” Jason insisted, wishing his voice wasn’t still quivering.

“We’ll get him checked out before we bring them in. It seems like he was more a victim here than anything. Don’t cuff him, I guess,” Jason’s cop, who may have been in charge, said.

“What a mess,” the cop added, scanning the rooftop. “What a fucking mess.”

 

…

 

The sidewalk in front of the apartment building was choked with people. Cops, concerned residents, an ambulance, and even a few reporters—though God only knows how they had found out about everything so quickly. The first of the cop cars had arrived silently, but those that followed—backup, presumably—came with sirens wailing and the ambulance in tow. A body was being carted out, though it was hard to tell who it was. Then came Hades di Angelo, surrounded by several police officers, his hands cuffed behind his back. Three other men had been brought down perhaps ten minutes ago, and they were already in different cop cars. The reporters were shouting questions at the officers, demanding to know what was going on.

Rachel Dare stood among it all, barely able to process everything she saw.

She’d been on her way up to her family’s penthouse apartment—taking the stairs, as always. Elevators were terrifying—when she’d heard strange noises coming from the roof. A scream. She’d surpassed her floor, taking the extra flight of stairs to the roof, and found the door propped open. She’d hesitated, not knowing what she would see if she opened the door farther, and listened.

That was when she realized that she recognized one of the voices. Jason Grace. Jason Grace, and someone screaming, and talk of murder. She’d raced to her apartment and called the cops immediately.

She hadn’t realized that the one screaming had been Nico di Angelo. That the one who caused the screams, the one threatening both boys’ lives, had been Nico’s father.

Rachel’s eyes scanned the crowd now, and she found the two boys clinging to each other off to the side by a cop car, trying to stay under the radar of the numerous reporters. Nico’s eyes were following something—Rachel thought it looked like the body bag—and Jason rubbed his back reassuringly. She’d never been aware that the two boys were ever friends. Though, in all fairness, she’d barely ever been aware of either of them, period. Nico was just a sullen sophomore and Jason was about as social as a rock.

Rachel lost sight of the boys briefly, as a group of cops passed by and obstructed her view. When she saw them again, her mouth fell open. Now Jason’s fingers were clutching at the formerly assumed murderer’s hair and they were kissing with a kind of intimacy that didn’t seem possible while surrounded by so many people. Nico’s arms were wrapped tightly around the blond, as if he were floating in a sea of chaos and Jason was his life preserver. The kiss wasn’t vulgar, or obnoxious, nor did it have that teenager messiness that often looked like two animals trying to consume each other’s faces. It was needy and close, but not dirty.

And somehow, Rachel knew that neither boy would ever fade into the background of her mind ever again.

“Excuse me, Miss, can you tell me anything about what is going on?” Rachel turned to find a reporter, pencil in hand.

She nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this was one of the most challenging chapters to write in this whole story. I would have updated sooner, but I tried a lot of different things until I was satisfied with the finished product.
> 
> But hey, speaking of finished products: if you are worried that this story is about to end, fear not! There are still a lot of problems for our babies to work through before this story can come to a close. 
> 
> Also, I am back to the normal updating pattern, so WYLEI update will be next.
> 
> I love all of you, and a special shout out to anyone who has been following this story since the beginning, if you people actually exist!
> 
> If you are dying to read more Jasico while waiting for my next update, I HIGHLY recommend House of the Wicked by xsonofhadesx. I'm not really a beta, but I am rather involved in helping with the story and helping the author keep track of things. The story is already awesome, but I can promise it is only getting better! :D


	26. The Universe Would Turn To A Mighty Stranger (Maybe It Already Has)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger." -Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights

Wednesday. 5:50am. New York City Police Department.

Jason shifted in the uncomfortable metal chair for probably the eighteenth time that hour. He could not recall how many times he had shifted in the hour before. How many times he had paced this room, waiting to hear something—anything.

After receiving medical attention for their minor injuries—somehow neither of them had sustained serious damage… physically—Jason and Nico had been moved here, to the NYPD 1st Precinct police station. That was when they had been separated. Over five hours ago.

Jason considered banging his head against the wall. If it seemed like he would lose consciousness, would someone come out and stop him? Would they finally tell Jason what was going on? The police had finished questioning Jason two hours ago. Jason had told them everything—from finding Nico until the present day. Well, he’d left out most of the romantic details. That was nobody’s business.

But Nico was still being questioned. Still, after all these hours. Jason was sick with worry. Just because Nico hadn’t been officially arrested yet, didn’t mean the cops couldn’t change their mind at any minute. And God only knew what kind of bullshit was being spewed in the interrogations of Hades and his men.

Jason saw a familiar detective, one of the men who had questioned him, walk out of a room. “Detective Bradley,” he called, shooting up in his seat.

“Jason,” the man said, an almost pitying look in his eyes. “What are you still doing here?” It was true, they had given Jason permission to leave. Decided there was no real point in holding him, since his months-long harboring of Nico did not appear to have any malicious intent, but rather had been a valiant effort to protect someone he believed was innocent. “Believed” was their word, not Jason’s. Jason _knew._

“My home is a crime scene, my mother is in the hospital being treated for the drugs that were used on her, and my—Nico is still back there being questioned. I’m not going anywhere.”

Detective Bradley didn’t need to know that Jason was running on some crazy kind of adrenaline that could vanish at any moment, leaving him exhausted and overwhelmed from the events of his night.

Jason pushed those thoughts away. His main focus—no, his _sole_ focus—had to be on Nico right now.

“I see. Well, there is no way of knowing how long Mr. di Angelo will be here. You should sleep.”

“No. I can’t. What is going on? Do you all still suspect him? Is he going to be arrested? What about Hades, has he confessed?”

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you all that, Jason,” the man said tiredly. Regret was clear in his features, as if he really did wish to relieve some of Jason’s anxiety.

“Well, what _can_ you tell me?” Jason asked, both desperate and frustrated.

“We are bringing some other witnesses in, to try and make sense of all of the stories we have heard from you and Nico and the others. Additional testimonies are needed.” He leaned in and lowered his voice, “Hades isn’t talking, I can tell you that much.”

“The police found him with a knife to my throat!” Jason growled, “What more do you people need?”

“Jason” Bradley sighed. “I understand this is hard for you, but this is a murder case. We have to be certain. You’ll just have to wait this out as best as you can.”

“Waiting,” Jason mumbled. “Sure, my specialty.” But the detective was already gone.

Jason scratched at his neck, where a bandage had been placed over the shallow cut left by Hades. He could almost imagine the knife tip still pressed at the base of his throat, could feel it every time he swallowed, every time he tried to breathe. Something told him he would continue to feel it until Nico was free and in his arms.

Whenever the hell that might be.

 

…

 

The clock told Jason that it was after six-thirty in the morning. The sun had risen—or at least, it should have risen, Jason hadn’t checked. He hadn’t been by a window in hours, actually. And still Nico was back in some room, being asked question after brutal question. Hadn’t he gone through enough? Hadn’t they all? Jason had nearly died and Maria actually—

Maria actually _had._

Couldn’t they give Nico a break? Couldn’t they even release him for a minute, so Jason could see him? So Jason could confirm that he was okay?

The detectives had more or less stopped making eye contact with Jason. None of them had been able to give Jason a clear answer as to what was going on. If they were going to arrest Nico, Jason wished they would just come out and tell him already. The waiting was maddening.

The bubbling of new conversation floated into the waiting area from around a nearby corner, tearing Jason from his thoughts. He rose from his chair to accost whoever was coming—though it wouldn’t be Nico. Nico was in the opposite direction.

It _was_ someone he knew, though. A very distressed Hazel Levesque, with a woman that must have been her mother. And behind them, a man in handcuffs. He actually didn’t look much like Hades, but the set of his shoulders and the look in his eyes was enough for Jason to see the resemblance. Pluto Levesque. Hades’ cousin, Nico’s great uncle, and Hazel’s father.

 _Someone must have spilled about the family business,_ Jason thought fleetingly.

Hazel’s eyes locked with his, and she skidded to a stop. Her parents continued along with two escorting officers, though Marie Levesque did spare her daughter a concerned glance. Hazel let them go off, out of sight and out of earshot. She made a beeline toward Jason.

“Jason, what are you _doing_ here? Does news spread this fast? What, are you hoping to catch a glimpse of Nico or something? You shouldn’t even be _back_ here!”

“Hazel,” Jason said, almost relieved, despite the fire in her eyes. She was the first familiar face he’d seen since coming here, the only thing that could make this new environment feel a little less alien. “I can totally explain. You see—”

“Jason!” An achingly familiar voice called, and suddenly the world was hurtling itself at Jason. No, not the world—Nico.

 _Close enough,_ he thought, burying his face in Nico’s dark hair. “Oh God, finally,” he whispered. Nico squeezed Jason so tight he could barely breathe. Off to the side, a detective cleared his throat.

“Nico?” Hazel said, full of disbelief.

Nico, who had apparently not even noticed his cousin, withdrew from Jason quickly. Jason wanted to pull him back, to hug him and never let go. A million questions danced on his tongue, but he bit down and waited.

“Hazel? What are you—” Suddenly she was hugging him. Nico, startled, took a moment before raising his arms to hug her back. Jason watched tears slip from Hazel’s eyes.

“I was so worried about you!” She cried. “I thought you might have been _dead!_ Where have you been?”

“I’m sorry Hazel. I’m so sorry for everything. I’ve been with Jason. It’s a long story.”

“With…” Hazel glanced up at Jason with her wide, teary eyes. He watched a hundred thoughts and feelings flash through her eyes. Watched as she processed this information. But Jason didn’t have time for explanations yet.

“What’s going on, Nico? Are you free of suspicion or do they still suspect you? You were back there for hours.”

Nico turned away from Hazel, back to Jason. When their eyes locked, Jason had to try harder than ever to not become too overwhelmed. It was hard to maintain composure with all that had happened. Jason needed to keep Nico close as possible, he needed time to process all that had happened, to cry, to finally let the fear and desperation go. He needed to sleep more than any of those things. “My fath— _Hades_ is the prime suspect in my—my mother’s right case now. Your testimony and mine matched up, which is good. And someone else’s, apparently. Someone else talked about what happened… on the roof. It’s a lot of convincing evidence, but…”

“But we need to keep Nico here until his innocence can be officially confirmed. We have more to work with concerning the murder of Maria di Angelo. Hades di Angelo will almost certainly be convicted for that crime. But there is still the original case of Bianca, and so many other accusations to deal with. Right now, Nico and Hades are the only living witnesses to Bianca di Angelo’s murder. And Hades won’t talk,” a detective that Jason had not yet met—the one who had escorted Nico out—explained. He must have been one of the people questioning Nico.

“Then what will be convincing enough evidence for you people?” Jason demanded. “Nico has to stay in this place until a psychopathic monster confesses to murder? When your officers found us he was about to _kill_ me. How is that not enough?”

The detective frowned. “I’m sorry, Mr. Grace, but things aren’t always that simple. We are doing what we can.”

Jason turned his back on them. Bit his lip so hard it nearly bled.

“Nico,” Hazel breathed. “The cops arrived at our apartment not even an hour ago. They said there were these warehouse full of… of weapons and drugs and stuff. And that Dad and Uncle Hades… That they were involved. They put Dad in handcuffs and they are interrogating him right now. What’s going on? Jason just said that… that Uncle Hades… did he really…”

He didn’t answer her. Jason imagined that simply vocalizing what had occurred was too much for Nico to stand. Jason breathed out some of his frustration and turned his gaze to the boy at his side. Sure enough, Nico’s fists were balled at his sides. His head hung low, hair obscuring eyes.

“Hey,” he whispered, placing his hands over one of Nico’s and gently uncurling it. “We’re together now. We can be strong if we’re together, right?” Jason knew it was presumptuous to assume that his words meant anything. Nico had lost his mother and hadn’t even had time to stop and grieve. And he wasn’t out of this nightmare yet, either. Why would being together with Jason right at that moment make any difference to a boy who still might lose everything. Who practically already had?

But he couldn’t help it. Jason would say anything if there was even a chance it would help Nico in some way. The dark haired boy glanced up at Jason, eyes bleak. Jason swallowed. Then, mercifully, Nico looped his fingers through Jason’s and squeezed his hand. “Please stay,” Nico said, so softly Jason barely heard it.

“Of course,” Jason nodded. “You don’t even have to ask.”

Nico looked back to Hazel. “I’m so sorry you got dragged into this, Hazel. When I mentioned your dad… They said they would need to interview your parents. I didn’t know what they would do to your father.”

“I understand,” she said. “If it’s true, then I want anyone who played a part in this to be punished. Even if that means my dad.” She threw her arms around Nico once more. “I am just so happy that you are safe, Nico. I know you’re innocent. I always knew it. But please tell me, did Uncle Hades really—”

“Yeah,” Jason and Nico said at the same time.

“Oh my God,” she whispered. “Nico.”

“I didn’t know about the warehouses though, someone else must have talked about that,” he said, quickly changing the subject.

“I didn’t know, either,” Jason added.

“I did,” a new voice said. The group spun to find a police officer escorting a boy down the hall. No, not just any boy.

Alabaster.

Nico recoiled, panic setting into his eyes. He looked suddenly like the Nico of eight hours ago. The Nico from the rooftop.

Jason wanted to strangle the newcomer. “Figures you were the one to talk,” Jason sneered. “You’d do anything to protect yourself, wouldn’t you? Bastard.”

“Mr. Grace,” Nico’s detective chided.

“No, he’s right,” Nico said, his voice low. “Cowards will do anything they can to stay alive.” He stared at the ground, hands balled into fists once again.

“Don’t tell me they’re releasing you,” Jason said, his eyes returning to Alabaster.

“I don’t know what you two expected me to do,” Alabaster snapped. “Side with you and die? I was looking out for my own safety!”

“Your specialty,” Nico spat, scooting closer to Jason. His eyes were still downcast. It was as if just looking at the other boy would tear Nico apart. Jason couldn’t blame him. “You side with whoever will advantage you most at the moment, you have no morals of your own.”

Alabaster snorted. “Unbelievable. You know what, Nico? I don’t understand you, but at least I’m real about it. I’ve never been able to understand you, but do not,” his words became increasingly sharp, “Act like you understand me any better. You have no idea.”

“Oh really?” Nico met his eyes this time, and Jason could not tell if the younger boy was about to laugh or cry.

“I didn’t _have_ to sell out my dad. I didn’t have to say everything I could to try and clear your name. Whether or not they convict you doesn’t actually affect me going home today. And I _didn’t_ have to call for a fucking ambulance last night to save your stupid neighbor. We were just there to get Maria, but your stupid father said to kill any witnesses, and my stupid father stabbed her in the chest. The second my dad left to bring your mom down to the car, I called for help. _I_ was supposed to finish the job and I saved her instead! You’re fucking welcome.”

“Hestia is alive?” Jason inquired, a flutter of hope working through his stomach.

“We got word about thirty minutes ago that she is in a hospital a few miles away, sleeping,” Alabaster’s officer clarified. “The doctors believe she is going to survive.”

Jason’s head fell back so his eyes looked up to the ceiling, to everything above it. _Thank You,_ he thought. _If there’s anyone up there. Thank You._

Nico stared at Alabaster, no words leaving his mouth. Again, Jason couldn’t quite tell how Nico was taking this information. His expressions had been full of mysteries during these last few minutes, and Jason found it completely unsettling.

“See? Before you try and act all high and mighty, Nico, remember that I’m the only one of us who has saved a life. Am I selfish? Yes. Who cares if I am? Everyone is selfish, and you aren’t an exception.” He walked off. His cop shot Jason and Nico an apologetic look before promptly following after him.

And despite the good deed Alabaster had just broadcasted to everyone, Jason hoped they never saw him again.

Nico didn’t move. He might not have even been breathing.

“I never liked him,” Hazel muttered. “Don’t let him get to you, Nico.”

“Miss Levesque, if you don’t mind, we still have some questions for you,” another detective explained, approaching their small group.

Hazel nodded. “Okay.” She looked seriously between Jason and Nico one final time. “But when I get back here, I have questions too. For both of you.”

“That’s fair,” Jason told her. She left. The hallway became significantly emptier. The detective that had been interrogating Nico had taken a seat in a nearby chair, but remained within earshot, watching the boys closely. Everyone else in the room could have been years away for all Jason noticed.

“Nico—” Jason said, trying to wrap his arm around the smaller boy. Nico stepped away from the embrace and turned to face the blond instead.

“Hestia’s alive,” he whispered. “It’s strange to feel relieved about anything right now, but…”

Jason swallowed hard, trying to ignore the fact that Nico had just stepped away from him. And dodged what Jason had been planning to say.

 _It’s an overwhelming time for him…_ he excused.

“I know, I feel the same way,” Jason nodded. If Hestia had been dead, Jason would have felt largely responsible. He couldn’t imagine living the rest of his life knowing that her blood was on his han—

Nico’s fingernails were stained a dark reddish brown. It was Maria’s dried blood, Jason realized, still caked under the nails from when Nico had clutched at the woman in her final moments.

Jason frowned. Bianca’s death had nearly destroyed Nico, had broken him into pieces. Now that Maria was gone too, Jason didn’t know what would happen. He could tell that Nico was barely keeping himself together. When he finally let go of the façade, what would be left of Nico? Would he still know how to smile, how to laugh, how to open up his heart to people?

Perhaps the Nico that Jason had known, the one he had fallen so hard for… was nothing but a memory.

No. _No._ He couldn’t think like that. His Nico wasn’t going anywhere. He was stronger than that. Too strong to be lost to this tragedy, massive as it may be.

Jason had to remind himself of that. Had to hold on to it.

“For a minute, I’d almost forgotten about Hestia, honestly. I feel terrible about it, but I’ve been so caught up in other problems. Alabaster is right. I’m selfish.” Nico sounded dead. Hollow. He sounded like not only did he believe the wicked statement his former friend made about him, but he had already known it to be true. It tore Jason apart. _Still my Nico, still my Nico,_ he repeated.

“Hey,” he brushed his fingers across Nico’s face, holding him carefully, “Ignore Alabaster. You have so much on your mind right now, you don’t need to think about him.”

“Then what do I think about, Jason?” Nico asked in a small voice. “The possibility of being convicted? Watching my mother—watching her—” He turned his head away from Jason’s hold and did not finish his sentence.

 

 

“Just think about us, okay? We’re in this together. I’m here for you, Nico. You and I are going to get through this.”

“Yeah… _you and I_ might…” Nico bit his lip. Jason tried not to cringe. Here he was, trying to comfort Nico. Trying to comfort a boy whose mother had been murdered before his eyes not twelve hours ago. What could—how could Jason make that better?

He couldn’t. No amount of Jason loving Nico could ever be the same as Maria loving Nico. Mothers were irreplaceable.

Jason would know.

 

…

 

Time dragged. Dragged. Dragged. A clock on the wall in the waiting area Jason and Nico had been moved to revealed it was past nine in the morning. Nico sat slumped in a chair beside Jason, dark circles under his eyes—which were wide open and alert. He should have been exhausted, and his body certainly agreed, but Nico seemed nowhere close to sleep. Stress, loss, discomfort, and who knew what else kept him completely awake. And so Jason didn’t sleep either. Nico had at least allowed Jason to hold his hand. Their hands rested together on Nico’s lap, where Jason periodically stroked a finger over Nico’s knuckles.

Hades hadn’t confessed. Hestia was still asleep in some hospital, recovering from the blood loss—apparently Atlas had miraculously missed her vital organs when he’d stabbed her in the chest. Alabaster had been supposed to make sure she actually died by whatever means necessary as some sick “initiation” while Atlas dragged Maria down to a car. Everyone knew how that had ended up—for both women. Jason’s own mother was in another hospital somewhere, not that Jason had time to care.

In fact, even while sitting here and doing nothing, Jason found he had more to care about than he knew what to do with. He could only imagine what was happening in Nico’s mind. The younger boy had not spoken in over an hour.

That was the scariest part. Jason couldn’t tell how Nico was coping. He hadn’t talked about what happened when he was questioned, hadn’t talked about his mother more than what was necessary, hadn’t talked about anything.

Jason might have gone crazy from the stillness, might have started screaming at walls and throwing chairs, if not for the man who walked into the room at that very moment.

“Jason, Nico, thank God,” Chiron said, crossing to the two boys. “I’ve been trying to get back here for a half an hour.” Despite his age and usually kind appearance, the bookseller looked ready to fight a stampede and win. Perhaps he had.

Jason jumped up and threw his arms around the man, not caring if he surprised him. “Chiron, finally.” When they had first arrived at the station, an officer had asked Jason if there was any family member other than Jason’s mom he could contact. Seeing as Thalia was all the way in California, Jason had asked the officer to call Chiron instead.

“Are you boys all right? I got here as soon as I could.” The man had driven over from Connecticut, where he’d been dealing with family issues. Jason hoped he’d had time to take care of those issues before leaving. Who was Jason to decide his problems more important than Chiron’s nephew’s?

“Still breathing,” Nico said softly, the sound of his voice shocking Jason.

“It’s a zoo outside,” Chiron sighed, “Reporters everywhere. The story was on the radio too, but no one knows what exactly is going on. All that people know is that Nico has been found and someone was murdered.”

Nico flinched as the word came out of the bookseller’s mouth. “Chiron,” Jason scolded, indicating Nico with his eyes.

“Oh, sorry.” Silence all around.

“Nico,” Jason said gently, his eyes lingering on the boy’s pursed lips, “Why don’t you sit tight for a few minutes while Chiron and I go talk about—”

“No!” Nico asserted, the loudest Jason had heard him speak since their reunion. He jumped up from his seat and clutched Jason’s hand almost painfully tight. “Don’t leave, stay. Please.” His voice was rough—the hours of questioning and the screaming on the rooftop finally taking its toll on the boy’s voice—and thick with emotion.

“We can talk later,” Chiron assured Nico, sharing a meaningful look with Jason. Only, Jason wasn’t quite sure what it meant. He nodded and brushed his finger over Nico’s knuckle.

“Let’s sit back down, okay Nico?” Jason’s voice was even more gentle than the last time he’d spoken to his boyfriend. Nico just looked so… fragile. Part of him was afraid that any loud words would completely break the boy.

That is, if there were any part of Nico di Angelo that could still be broken.

They sat. Jason studied Nico closely, and Nico appeared to see nothing at all.

“I’m going to go find whoever is in charge here and get him to let me take you boys out of here. You need to sleep, you both look exhausted.”

“But Hades hasn’t confessed yet, Nico is still not completely cleared.”

“If they aren’t going to officially arrest Nico, then you two are getting out of here, anything else is ridiculous.” Chiron stormed off—at least, as much as Jason had ever seen the man “storm off.”

Jason and Nico were left alone again. Nico leaned his head back against the wall, staring at nothing as far as Jason could tell. “How are you—”

“Don’t, please don’t ask me how I am doing, Jay,” Nico interrupted, his voice low and more desperate than harsh.

“Okay,” Jason said, even though he was so far from okay. “Of course.” God, he hated this feeling. Hated the helplessness, the uncertainty, the way he couldn’t immediately understand where Nico’s thoughts were. He hated this fucking building and it’s off-white walls and old linoleum floors. Jason was stir crazy, and Nico’s current state did not help Jason feel at ease in the strange new environment.

Nico was right beside him, but Jason felt more alone than he had in months.

To distract himself, Jason continued an activity he’d picked up earlier. Watching the passing police officers like hawks, hoping some detective would pass through this waiting area with good news, or any kind of news at all.

Hazel had left a few hours ago with her mother, though Jason did not know what had occurred with them. Other faces had passed too, but Jason had not recognized these people. Several men, presumably colleagues of Hades. Jason wondered what they had said. Were they loyal? Self-serving? Had anyone else come clean? Not knowing was infuriating.

Jason couldn’t take it anymore. Couldn’t take any of it. “I’ll be right back,” he said, kissing the side of Nico’s head. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Okay,” Nico muttered, and this time Jason could decipher the look in the boy’s eyes. Nervousness. Jason felt bad for leaving when Nico had asked him to stay, but there was no better option. If Jason was stuck in that chair for another minute he would surely start screaming at the top of his lungs.

Once Jason reached the hallway he released a deep breath and let his shoulders slump. This had been the longest day of his life—longer even than the day his father had died. Jason wanted to sleep, to make the nightmare of a day end. That is, if he was even capable of sleep under such stress. He pushed his fingers through his hair and wound up at the water fountain outside of the bathroom.

 _Stop stressing so hard over Nico,_ he chided himself, drinking from the fountain though thirst hadn’t been a real concern of his for hours. Nico had lost so much and he was trying to keep himself together however he could—even if that meant refusing to talk about it at all, even with Jason. No amount of Jason stressing over it would change a thing. He would simply have to wait for Nico to let it all out when he was ready. He would be right there with him when it happened, comforting him in whatever meager way he could. But until then, until they were at the point where they could fully process all that had happened, Jason had to wait. Stress, he concluded, made waiting even more horrible.

He withdrew from the water fountain and turned back toward the hall, ready to return to the boy he loved and just sit with him, if that was all he could do for the time being. Then—

“Holy shit, Jason!” A voice, a face, a boy that Jason would recognize anywhere. He found himself being practically tackled by his best friend.

“Leo,” Jason gasped, a weight being suddenly lifted off of his chest that he hadn’t even realized had been there. “Oh God, it’s good to see you.” He wrapped his arms around the shorter boy, so it was more of a hug and less of a strangling.

“Everything is crazy, man. I found about Nico being taken into custody last night and I tried to call you like fifty times. It’s all over the internet that someone else was murdered, and that the suspect was in custody. I was fucking terrified. Then the cops call me this morning and ask if I will come down to the station to be interviewed, and they told me more of what happened. Did you… did you really almost die?” He looked up at the blond with wide eyes.

“Yeah,” Jason whispered. “Maybe. But I’m okay. Nico is too. Chiron is trying to get the police to let us leave, since it seems pretty probable that Nico is innocent.”

“ _Dios._ How are you? How’s Nico?”

“Nico’s mom died right in front of him. I… I don’t know how well he is handling it. He might not be handling at all,” Jason confessed. “He’s so quiet.”

“So, you were almost killed and you’re still worrying about Neeks more than yourself, huh?” He smiled and lightly shoved Jason. “Typical Jase.”

“What did you tell them when they interviewed you?” Jason asked. Leo had been dragged into the mess in the end. He’d gotten more involved than Jason had ever planned for him, But he was okay. He wasn’t hurt. And Hestia—Hestia was alive too.

“Basically everything. I left out that you and Nico are little perverts who sexed it up in your boss’s store, so you’re welcome for that.”

Jason could tell that Leo was shaken up by all of this. He saw it in his eyes. And yet, Leo was trying to make Jason laugh, to take his mind off of things. He was being strong for Jason, just like Jason was for Nico.

“Oh thank God, I was _so_ worried,” he retorted. Suddenly, another thought occurred to him. Hazel had been interviewed. Leo too. Surely there were others, right? “Have you seen anyone else here? Being interviewed, I mean.”

“Oh yeah. Percy, for one. You might have guessed that one. Your front desk guy, although I have no fucking clue what he could have said. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that guy look up from a magazine in my life.” He perked up, “Oh, and you wouldn’t believe this! So earlier, right around the time I got here, I was talking to Rachel, ya know? And guess who comes out of the interrogation room thingy or whatever you call it? Nico’s scar-face ex-lover boy! Luke Ca…something.”

Jason froze. “Luke talked to the police?”

“Yeah, and get this. So I see him, and I’m all ‘Hey, are you Luke?’ and he stares at me for like ten seconds before responding ‘yeah’. So Rachel goes in for her interview and I start talking to this Luke dude. And guess what?”

“What?” Jason didn’t know how many more surprises he could handle.

“He’d been here for _hours_ before I was even called. Apparently he came here on his _own_ right when he found out about Nico being found, saying he had information supporting that Nico was innocent.”

Jason blinked. “Luke came… on his own?”

Leo grinned, “I guess there was still a little bravery buried deep down, huh?”

“Yeah,” Jason nodded, surprised as a smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. Luke, having no idea what had actually happened, had raced here nonetheless to try and help Nico. He’d had no idea what the consequences might be, and yet he’d done it. Maybe Jason had judged him too harshly before.

“They’ve gotta let Nico go at this point, right? I mean, with all of the matching testimonies and the little detail of you almost being fucking murdered confirmed by multiple people.”

“Well, apparently it is a problem because there are still no witnesses other than Nico and Hades for Bianca’s murder and Hades isn’t—wait!” Jason stopped, _all_ of what Leo had said processing for the first time. “Did you say Rachel was here? As in Rachel Dare?”

Leo’s eyebrows reached halfway to his hair. “You mean, you don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“Jason, Rachel is the one who called the cops.”

 

…

 

Jason returned to find Nico no longer in his seat. Instead, he stood about ten feet away, discussing something with a detective. Jason was startled by the focus in Nico’s eyes, the seriousness in his stance. Or was it stiffness? Jason realized with a start that he wasn’t used to watching Nico talk to strangers. In their months together, the only adult Jason had seen Nico formally address was Chiron. This Nico was almost as unfamiliar as the detective.

“What’s going on?” He asked, coming up to the pair and placing a hand on the small of Nico’s back. Jason felt compelled to touch him, to remind himself that this was still his Nico.

“Hestia’s awake,” Nico said, turning to Jason. Even his voice sounded different than it had a few minutes ago. “She told a police officer at the hospital about a flash drive that my mother gave her… before Atlas and Alabaster arrived. That’s why she was at Hestia’s in the first place.”

“Flash drive?” Jason inquired, yet another shock.

“We have it here at the station now,” the officer added. “It’s been analyzed and its contents have given us enough information that we are prepared to release Nico into Chiron Brunner’s temporary custody, at Nico’s request.”

They were letting Nico go? Did that mean they completely believed in his innocence? Could Jason’s greatest fear, his months-long nightmare of having Nico taken away from him be done with? Jason noticed he’d started holding his breath at some point, and exhaled slowly.

“Are you sure you don’t want to watch it, Nico?” The detective asked in a low, kind voice that shocked Jason. Just hours ago, the detectives had all eyed Nico with apprehension, but this man looked at the boy like maybe he was considering giving him a hug.

“I’m sure. I don’t want to see it… her,” Nico’s voice sounded rougher than it had a minute ago.

“What was on the flash drive that was significant enough to clear Nico’s name?” Jason asked, too confused to celebrate Nico’s freedom just yet. Jason got the feeling that he was missing some detail. Something essential.

“It’s another witness account. From a key witness that we hadn’t had the opportunity to speak to,” the detective supplied.

 _I don’t want to see it… her,_ Nico had said.

Oh, _oh._ Jason understood. Now the rough quality of Nico’s voice, the lack of joy at his own release made sense.

The detective clarified anyway, however, confirming what Jason had already realized. “A video testimony from Maria di Angelo herself, recorded hours before her death.”

 

…

 

The drive to Chiron’s apartment was silent. Nico stared out the window, for once not needing to worry about what would happen if someone recognized him.

 _How lucky I am,_ he mused. As if all he had gone through in the past twenty-four hours was possibly worth it for the small luxury of sitting in the backseat of a car without feeling nervous.

Jason had one of Nico’s hands in his own. He stroked Nico’s skin with his thumb, possibly to comfort Nico, possibly as a sign of intimacy. Jason was all Nico had right now. Jason Grace. His greatest strength, his greatest weakness. Every time those blue eyes lingered on Nico, every time Nico saw how lost they looked, how distraught, he got closer to completely falling apart.

Nico couldn’t fall apart. He wasn’t even over Bianca’s death and now… now…

What if Nico could never put himself back together again, after? What if all of Nico’s mess finally got to Jason, and he left him? Nico couldn’t survive losing Jason. Not at this point. He would have almost no reason to go on without the boy beside him.

So Nico chewed his lip, counted to one hundred in Italian over and over and over again. Intimately studied every person he saw, every car they passed.

He did everything he could to keep himself together.

Because sometimes, you didn’t have any other choice.

 

…

 

“Eat something, before you two get to sleep,” Chiron said as they entered the apartment, shutting the door behind him. In front of him, the two teenagers dragged. Nico stood now in the middle of the living room, taking in his surroundings as if he had never been there before. Jason walked up behind him, wrapping his arms around Nico’s torso and resting his head on the boy’s shoulder. Chiron’s heart broke for both of them. Nico looked barely alive, like a body with nothing inside of it. And Jason—Jason’s expression was more pained than Chiron had ever seen. Nico’s silence had clearly been bothering the boy, leaving him half-crazy and desperate to do something.

That was Jason, always so desperate to help. Always beating himself up if he couldn’t.

“I’m not hungry,” Nico mumbled, meeting Chiron’s eyes only for a moment.

“You can go lie down, Nico,” Jason told him, pressing his face even closer into Nico’s neck. “I’ll bring you some food, okay?”

“No, come with me,” Nico pleaded softly, leaning back into the blond. Chiron felt as if he were intruding on an especially intimate moment. He averted his eyes.

“I’ll be there in a minute, I promise. Go on ahead.”

A defeated sigh. “Don’t take too long,” Nico said. Gentle footsteps made their way to the guest bedroom. Chiron saw the boy lingering the doorway, his eyes watching Jason intently.

“I won’t,” Jason reassured, and the two shared a meaningful look—one of the first times Chiron had actually seen their eyes meet all morning. Then Nico nodded once, turned, and disappeared into the room. The door shut firmly behind him.

Jason let out a deep breath, and his shoulders slumped. In that moment, Chiron was disturbed to find that Jason looked far, far older than seventeen. When had the boy he known for years aged this way? Their eyes met, and Chiron could see pain, more pain than any seventeen year old should know, swimming in the blue of his eyes. “Chiron,” he choked, his voice raw. He said nothing else, and he didn’t need to. Chiron understood.

“Give him time, son. He’s been through a lot, you both have.”

“I don’t know how to help. I feel so helpless.”

“Jason, son, there are… there are some things in life that you won’t be able to do. Won’t be able to change,” Chiron swallowed. The words were just as much for him as for Jason. “But that doesn’t mean, that _never_ means that you are helpless. Do you understand?”

Jason bit his lip, and Chiron noticed his eyes swimming with more than just pain. He wiped at one eye with the back of his hand and nodded quickly.

“Now, let’s get some breakfast together, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so as usual, I want to apologize for the delay. Yes, I was busy, but mainly, writing this chapter was just VERY challenging for me and so I would get discouraged at times. It is not perfect, but I am finally at least satisfied enough to post. Now, let me apologize for my lack of knowledge about what happens when you are suspected for murder or general workings of what would happen in that situation. I tried my best, but researching was hard and led me mostly to cop shows. Hopefully it wasn't glaringly inaccurate. I tried, guys.
> 
> Anyway, thanks as always for your patience and support. You never have to worry about me quitting on this story. I wouldn't dream of it. 
> 
> Also, I am not yet sure if I'll be writing chapter 27 of this next, or if I will work on the next chapter of WYLEI. I'll probably make an announcement later on via my tumblr. UNTIL NEXT TIME, MY LOVES!


	27. Will You Still Love Me (When I've Got Nothing But My Aching Soul)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Writer's Block Batman this was a hard chapter to write. I probably made a mistake by doing two chapters of MS in a row and not giving myself a break by working on When You Least Expect It. But oh well, it's finally done! And only slightly later than promised on tumblr! This chapter isn't the most exciting by far, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

“I told you, I’m really not that hungry,” Nico muttered, pushing a scarcely touched bagel around on his plate.

“Just eat a few more bites, Nico,” Jason requested, placing a hand on the younger boy’s knee. “You haven’t eaten since last night.”

“It’s only morning,” Nico sighed, “I’ll eat when I’m hungry, okay?” He deposited the plate on the nightstand and then pulled back the bedcovers.

“Right now I just want to try and sleep,” he said, looking at the pillows rather than Jason.

Missing the agonized look in Jason’s eyes. Not seeing how much Jason struggled to swallow around the lump in his throat. “Yeah, okay. Let’s sleep.”

They had no clothes here, Jason realized, save for the ones on their back. And the clothes on Nico’s back weren’t even his. His old clothes had been torn and dusty and bloody, and the police station had given him something else to wear. A stranger’s clothes for this strange Nico. He would have to return to the apartment at some point to get some of their things.

The apartment, not home. It wasn’t home anymore. It couldn’t be. The place had been violated, corrupted, destroyed.

And yet, Jason had for a long time had trouble calling that place home. If home was where the heart was, then that sterile, over-priced apartment hadn’t been it. For years, Jason had felt homeless.

But where was home now? Was it Chiron’s apartment? Was it this shabby old guest room void of any of Jason’s personal belongings? Was this place home now? This room void of all of their possessions?

After meeting Nico, Jason had started to think that “home” didn’t have to be a place at all. That it could instead be a person, a certain feeling you got when you were around them. He had thought that maybe, for him, Nico was home. That no matter where he was, he would be at home if Nico was by his side.

And yet again, Jason had to accept that perhaps that place wasn’t home either. Because there Nico was, beside him on the bed, a mere arm’s length away, and Jason felt like he had stumbled upon a different planet.

Nico had always been a private person, Jason had known that from the start. But he’d never been this closed-off to Jason. At the police station, Jason could see why Nico didn’t want to think or talk about what had happened. He even understood to an extent why he would put up a front with Chiron around. But this was just _Jason._ Why was Nico acting like Jason was someone that he had to play pretend around?

The thought upset Jason to his core. How could he sleep like this? How could he share a bed with this—this alien version of Nico?

Nico removed his pants, so Jason did too, but they kept their shirts on. Jason, for once, was glad to remain clothed. Their usual state of undress was too intimate for how Jason felt right then. It would feel like baring his soul to a stranger. Because that was what Nico felt like right then, a stranger. A stranger likely covered in still-developing bruises, as Jason was sure he was. A stranger with a shallow cut crossing his collarbone that Jason hadn’t yet seen up close. That he didn’t think he was ready to see. Jason’s own shirt rubbed against the bandage covering the small area where the knife had cut into his own skin. Hades’ knife. The knife that had killed Nico’s mother, and nearly killed Jason too.

He could still smell the blood; remembered they needed to shower, but didn’t say anything. Later… they could do that later.

Nico crawled into bed without saying anything else, pulling the blankets up so he was almost invisible to Jason. Unable to stand this, Jason followed suit, throwing himself into the bed with great exhaustion. Whether or not the exhaustion would be great enough to quiet his mind, however, remained a mystery. Part of Jason felt as if he could sleep for a week, the other part barely understood the concept of sleep, let alone how to make it happen.

“Aren’t you going to hold me?” Nico whispered, so gentle that Jason had to wonder if he’d truly heard the words.

“What was that?” Jason asked.

“Normally… when we go to sleep… you curl up behind me and… and you… you know…”

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to,” Jason admitted.

Nico rolled to face Jason and gave him what looked to be a confused and also slightly nervous expression. “Why wouldn’t I?” He asked, sounding surprisingly innocent.

_Because you’ve barely been able to look at me since last night._

“I don’t know, I figured maybe you would want to just be left alone?”

“Do you want to be left alone?” Nico countered, his voice coming out impossibly softer than before.

He looked so small, so incredibly small, buried under the blankets like that. Small and lost and a little scared. “No, of course not,” he scooted closer to Nico, rather than pulling the boy to him. He’d seen how many hits Nico had taken and was terrified that touching him with too much force would hurt him.

As Jason curled in arm over Nico’s torso, the other boy finally looked up at him. Soft for a moment, the Nico that Jason loved, then suddenly foreign again. He nodded. “Let’s go to sleep then.”

“Nico, wait,” Jason said, lightly holding Nico’s face in place with his hand, knowing that Nico could break away if he tried.

“What is it?”

“I’m worried about you. You know you can talk to me about anything, right? About everything. I’m here for you. No matter what. I mean it.”

“I don’t have anything to say, Jay,” Nico mumbled, nudging the hand away. “I’m so tired. I just want to sleep.” His words sounded hollow, as if Nico couldn’t find it in him to lie more convincingly. This Nico wasn’t even really a stranger. Strangers were human and Nico felt… robotic, almost. Unable to properly feel anything.

“Okay,” Jason said, the knife that had nearly killed him plunging deep into his gut, only Jason looked down and knew it wasn’t there. “Get some rest.” He’d seen Nico terrified, seen him angry, seen him in tears. He had watched Nico cycle through so many emotions over the last months. When he found Nico in that alley, Bianca had only been dead for a few weeks. What had he been like before Jason found him? Had he been this… this… empty?

 _No,_ Jason guessed. He likely hadn’t. It was possible that he had never fully grieved for Bianca, either. That he was still trying to push her death away. It would have been easy to do. In the streets, Nico had to worry about staying alive and going undetected. And then Jason had been a distraction, too. Becoming friends, the flirting, the dating, and everything that had come after it. Nico had plenty to distract himself with, and Jason had never once worried about how Nico was taking everything. He worried about their future, about Hades, about Nico running off, but had he ever stopped to ask himself if Nico was emotionally stable?

Had Jason made his move too soon? By kissing him, by loving him, had Jason become Nico’s new emotional focus, a way for him to numb out the loss of his sister?

Yes, Nico had nightmares, Nico cried, but he would always bounce back by the time morning came.

This was completely different than that. It was as if Maria’s death had brought everything to the surface, only now there was even more loss, even more pain, even more family members to grieve.

And no hope. No chance of saving either of them. No chance of being an, albeit smaller, family again. No sister, no mother, no hope.

Just Jason. Jason fucking Grace who was not foolish enough to believe that he could be all that Nico needed. He was seventeen years old, what could he do?

 _Nothing._ Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing _._

Nico had nothing left inside of his heart, Jason had nothing to give. The room was full of nothing. No words.

If feeling nothing at all was the only way that Nico could keep himself together, could Jason live with that? No, surely the madness would get him eventually. He couldn’t love the skin and bones that were Nico di Angelo without the heart, could he? How could he?

No, no, no. Jason couldn’t think like that. His Nico would come back to him eventually. Jason would give him time. He would try. Jason would give him space. He would try. Jason would stay strong for Nico. He would try. Jason wouldn’t show Nico how much he was also hurting. He would try. He would try.

He’d never stop trying. Not if Nico was involved. Nico had no hope.

So Jason… Jason would have to have hope for the both of them.

He wrapped his arm back around Nico’s torso, hoping that Nico couldn’t feel how it quivered. Then he closed his eyes.

He pretended to sleep.

 

…

 

Nico didn’t want to be awake. He didn’t particularly want to be asleep, either. It was possible that he simply didn’t want to be alive, but he didn’t entertain those thoughts. He’d suffered through too much, survived for too long. Taking his life was a quitter’s solution. It was a way out for the weak. Nico didn’t want to be weak. Didn’t want to be weaker than he already was.

Nico also didn’t want to acknowledge that the occasional uneven breaths and gentle sniffles at the back of his neck meant Jason was crying. But, reasonably, Nico knew that he must be.

So rarely had Jason cried in Nico’s presence. And now it was happening for the second time in twenty-four hours. The sound haunted Nico. Brought back the image of Jason with tears in his eyes as he told Nico that Hades would kill Jason no matter what he did.

But Jason was alive. The threat looming over him gone. Which probably meant that Jason was crying because of…

Because of Nico.

The younger boy bit down on his lip. Bit down so hard that the skin broke. Blood hit his tongue. God, Nico hated blood. Hated the smell, the taste, the texture.

 _Breathe in, breathe out,_ he reminded himself. _Keep your breathing steady. Give Jason privacy. Let him think you’re asleep._

Looking back, Nico realized that he hadn’t done a good enough job convincing Jason that he was okay. It was harder than Nico had thought it would be. Nico’s grief was an ocean, and staying afloat was taking all of his effort. Jason’s lost, sad eyes did not help.

_Do you want to lose me, dumbass? Do you want me to lose myself?_

Too many feelings swirled inside of Nico and he forced his thoughts into a different place. If he thought about all that was going on for too long, he wouldn’t be able to hold back tears of his own. And if Nico cried…

He didn’t think he would ever stop.

Instead, he tried to recall all of the books he had read the past two months and place them in sequential order. Then alphabetize them. Then organize them by date published. Then by length. Then by preference.

The morning dragged.

 

…

 

It was one of those ambiguous times, where sleep and drowsiness and merely lying in bed with your eyes closed all blurred together. Whether or not Jason had ever actually fallen asleep remained ambiguous, but if he had, it had certainly lasted no more than a few minutes.

Also ambiguous was the boy before him. With his back turned to Jason, it was hard to discern whether or not Nico was actually asleep or not. Jason doubted it. He’d felt Nico sleep in his arms dozens of times, and this did not feel like that. Granted, nothing about Nico felt familiar anymore.

Well past noon, but sometime before evening, Jason decided he couldn’t handle the stillness anymore. Without saying anything, Jason sat up, planted his feet firmly on the ground, and released a deep breath. When he stood, he let his gaze fall upon the bed, and found Nico staring up at him. The circles under his eyes gave Jason his answer. But Nico said nothing, so neither did he.

Jason headed to the bathroom, remembering that he needed to shower. Nico needed to shower too, of course, but for once Jason didn’t think they would be sharing a shower.

Then again, what did Jason know?

The sound of water hitting the shower floor drew Nico into the bathroom. “Good idea,” he said. “I probably look like a cat dragged across a bed of sharp rocks in the middle of a storm.”

“That’s a pretty detailed little analogy,” Jason said, feeling so fucking _wrong._ “How the hell must I look, then?”

“Dirty enough that you really ought to take two showers, one just for your clothes.”

“I’ll put them in the laundry later,” Jason muttered, shrugging off his shirt. It was plenty dusty too, and spots of dried blood stained the collar. “Actually, I think this shirt needs to be thrown away.”

Nico nodded and removed the remainder of his clothing. Jason averted his eyes and stepped into the shower.

Jason and Nico showered together, but also separately. The same spray of water hit both of them, the same shampoo and soap were used. Occasionally, Jason’s arm would brush Nico’s back or Nico’s shoulder would graze his chest, but these felt more like accidents. Neither boy tried to fill the space with words, and Jason stared at the floor, at his own feet, for nearly the entire time.

It was so different from how they showered in the past—Nico splashing water at Jason and Jason retaliating by wrapping his soapy arms around Nico’s torso and dragging him away from the water’s warmth. No cheesy jokes were made, no kisses stolen. The shower was turned nearly all the way to hot, but Jason felt cold all over.

The rest of the day passed in the same way. Nico went through the motions of being Nico, and Jason through the motions of being Jason, but there was no laughter and no easy banter and no smiles and no lightness and no joy. No Nico and Jason as one single, perfect unit. Jason paced while Nico sat on the couch and drank tea. Chiron had made the tea. Any time something remotely productive happened on that slow and terrible day, it was because of Chiron.

Chiron Brunner, a man so full of kindness that Jason could not actually wrap his mind around it. Chiron, who managed to coax a half of a sandwich into Nico late in the afternoon, who filled the living space with light conversation every time Jason felt that the silence was about to make him go mad, who kept pouring tea into Nico’s mug and kept the curtains mercifully closed, lest someone in the streets make the connection between Nico and Jason and Chiron and find their way to tired little Delphi Books.

“Will you stop pacing around, son?” Chiron finally said as the sun dipped into the skyline. “You’re making me anxious, and that poor carpet cannot handle much more wear.”

Jason dropped onto the old couch—which, admittedly, could probably not handle much more wear, either—beside Nico. The younger boy gave him a sparse smile, the kind that affected only the lips and never reached the eyes. “Should we have, I don’t know, heard something by now? We’ve been gone all day.”

“I think you could also use a cup of tea, couldn’t you?”

No, what Jason could use was any fucking news about Nico’s situation. Would Hades officially be arrested soon? Would Nico be called back to the station? Would they try to take Nico away from Jason? Changed or not, Jason knew that he couldn’t let that happen. They would have to quite literally rip Nico from Jason’s arms. The body he loved sat beside him on the couch, and he would not give it up to anyone, not when there was even the smallest glimmer of hope that the boy trapped inside all of those layers of grief and pretending would find his way back to Jason. Because Nico would, right? Nico wouldn’t just give up, right? Wouldn’t just stop fighting?

Actually, maybe Jason _did_ need that tea.

 

…

 

The call came sometime after dinner. Jason was still sitting at the table when he heard a loud thud. Looking up, he found that Nico had fallen to his knees in the middle of the kitchen, phone clutched in his hand.

At first, the boy said nothing. He hung up the phone and stared at it in his hand, eyes wide.

“What is it?” Jason asked in a low voice, afraid to startle Nico in his state.

“He confessed,” Nico rasped, meeting Jason’s eyes after a moment. “Hades confessed.”

Jason stilled, the words echoing through his head. Hades. Confessed.

“To everything?” Chiron asked, when it became clear that Jason was having trouble forming words.

Nico nodded, and suddenly Jason was out of his chair, on the floor too, pulling Nico into his arms. “Oh, Nico,” he said, squeezing the other boy tightly and temporarily forgetting, or perhaps not caring, that this was not the side of Nico that Jason knew. “Oh my god. That’s—that’s—”

“I know,” Nico whispered, squeezing Jason back like perhaps he too forgot that he had been a different Nico all day. “I know. I’m… clear.”

Not free. But clear. Too much had happened, too much had been lost. Nico wasn’t free from what had happened, and Jason doubted he ever would be entirely. But clear . . .

Clear was a start. Maybe now, with the problem of Nico’s innocence settled, Nico could begin to properly grieve for all he had lost.

He kissed the top of Nico’s head, squeezing him tighter, and then looked up as Chiron kneeled to pat both boys on the back. “Congratulations, Nico.”

Jason cupped Nico’s face, kissing him again, on the forehead this time. When he pulled back, however, Jason found that the same empty look had returned to Nico’s eyes.

He miserably wondered when, or if, Nico would let himself begin to feel again.

Nico was strong, stronger than anyone Jason had ever known, but…

But no one was _this_ strong. No one was this casual about nearly dying, about nearly losing their boyfriend, about actually losing their mother. Jason wished he knew what more to say. How to properly approach the problem.

He wished for a lot of things.

 

. . .

 

“We should talk about it, if you’re not too tired again.” Jason whispered across the pillow to Nico that night.

“Talk about what?” Nico asked.

Jason stared at him. He blinked. Nico was too smart to play dumb.

Nico stared back, looking almost puzzled. “I don’t know what there really is to say.”

“How you’re feeling about all of this, maybe?” Jason tried to make it sound like a suggestion, rather than simply another round of interrogation. “A lot has happened to us in the last day, and you haven’t said a word about it since we left the station.”

“You really need to stop worrying so much,” Nico sighed, sounding borderline irritated. “Did you forget who I am? Loss and pain are kind of my life, I can handle it. I _am_ handling it.”

_No, no I don’t think you are._

“Okay,” Jason whispered, because he was an idiot. “If you’re sure.”

“I am, and I’d rather not talk about it. Any of it. Not my father, not last night, none of it. Okay?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“Promise me, Jason.”

“I promise.” Yes, yes Jason was an idiot. The problem was, he was at the point where he would say anything if he thought it would help Nico. If it was what Nico wanted, Jason would say yes, bad idea or not.

But, truly, this sounded like a horrible, horrible promise to make.

Jason had no idea what he was doing.

“Thank you,” Nico replied, forcing a small smile onto his face.

“I love you, Nico,” Jason told him, feeling the sudden urge to say it to him in that moment, as if restating his love would explain all of his actions. Would make everything make sense. A week ago, loving Nico was the only detail that mattered.

 

"I know you do, Jason. I know you do. Thank you." The words sounded genuine enough. Sounded like they could have come from Jason's Nico. Like he was still in there somewhere, and he knew how much Jason cared about him.

So why did it no longer feel like the only detail that mattered?

 

. . .

 

Nico rose before Jason, but part of Chiron wondered if Nico had slept at all. The dark circles under his eyes looked even more pronounced than they had the day before. Had he slept even an hour? Chiron frowned into his tea. Since reuniting with the boys at the police station, Nico’s behavior had deeply bothered Chiron. Even worse was seeing how Nico’s behavior was torturing Jason. It was impossible, he supposed, for someone with a heart as big as Jason’s to make it through life unscathed, but that didn’t stop Chiron from wishing he could protect Jason from this kind of suffering.

Chiron had been in love once. Real, true love. He’d met a woman who had stolen his heart, and then before he could marry her, the world had stolen her life. That had been over ten years ago, and thinking about her still made Chiron ache deep inside.

But Chiron had survived. He was a grown man, his hair already graying when he’d lost his love. Jason was not even eighteen yet. Nico was only sixteen years old. It was shocking, seeing such pain in eyes so young. On uncreased, youthful faces.

They still had each other, that much was true, but neither boy was the same as he had been two days ago. Nico especially… God, it was painful to look at him.

“Sleep well?” Chiron asked, struggling to sound cheery. It was just past seven in the morning and Chiron hoped that Jason was still asleep. Deep asleep. He’d looked so exhausted the previous night at dinner.

Nico looked up at him, his mouth hanging slightly open, but did not speak. The sharp look he gave Chiron said it all, and the man wondered if perhaps Nico did not feel as inclined to pretend he was fine when Jason was not around. Or if he was even aware of the change at all.

“Would it be easier to sleep if you were alone? You could rest in my room for a few hours. Some sleep would—”

“Be good for me?” Nico gave a short, bitter laugh. “Tell me about it. I don’t think a change of location will do the trick, though. Do you have coffee?”

Chiron rose from his chair and motioned for the teenager to follow him to the small and outdated kitchen. He sat at the kitchen table and watched as Nico prepared his coffee. Now was as good a time as any to talk to Nico alone, but Chiron struggled to say the words that needed to be said. Nico was already so fragile, could Chiron really bear to make the situation worse?

“Nico, uh,” he articulated, the words sounding more awkward and uncertain than the bookseller had intended. The teen turned to him, a single eyebrow raised.

“Yes, Chiron?”

“I didn’t say anything yesterday, because I know you already have so much on your mind but… now that you’ve been declared innocent, you should probably think of making… final arrangements for your mother.”

“Final arrangements?” Nico asked with tensed shoulders.

“Did your mother ever tell you what her wishes were, in the event of her, um, passing? Cremation, or burial, or…”

Nico tensed even more. Chiron imagined his body snapping in half. “Oh, right. Right. We need to have a funeral, don’t we?” A sad smile drifted across his lips. “How could that have not occurred to me? I don’t know what her—her wishes were. I don’t know if she ever mentioned it. You think she would have, but—” the boy’s voice became more and more distressed as he spoke, so Chiron cut him off.

“It’s okay. I’m sure she won’t mind whatever you choose. And, if this is too hard for you, I can help you arrange everything.”

“No, I should do it,” Nico said plainly. “I’m her family, I’m her son. I didn’t even get to go to Bianca’s funeral, the least I can do is plan this one. I can do it. I can handle it. I’ll figure it out.”

Chiron’s heart splintered. Nico was stuck in the eye of his own personal hurricane, and Chiron was afraid of what would happen once the boy was flung into the storm of his own creation. He would destroy himself, and likely harm all of those closest to him.

Chiron wished he could protect Nico as well. Protect him from the world. Protect him from himself.

 

. . .

 

Jason woke up alone. _How fitting,_ he mused, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. The light filtering in through the narrow window on the opposite wall revealed to Jason that it was already late in the morning.

When he’d finally fallen asleep sometime around three in the morning, it had been a blessing and a curse. The sleep was much needed, but the constant onslaught of vivid and frightening dreams made it a restless night. In one dream, Jason sat waiting at the police station when Hades, wearing a stolen cop’s uniform, shot him in the chest. Then, as the bullet entered his chest, he became Hestia as she was stabbed by Atlas. The knife withdrew and Jason crumpled to the floor, while Alabaster stared down at him, unblinking. Then, through his blurring vision, Jason realized that the boy was not Alabaster, but Nico. In yet another dream, the dying woman on the rooftop was actually Jason’s own mother, completely sober as she begged for her life.

Jason sighed and left the room, deciding that facing reality was at least preferable to having more nightmares. He found only Nico in the kitchen-living area, sitting at the table and—talking on the phone.

It was a strange sight. Jason had never seen Nico make a phone call. He supposed that Nico had used Percy’s phone to call him the other week, but Jason hadn’t seen that for himself. It shouldn’t have been weird—it was such a mundane activity, after all—but lately, anything that Jason wasn’t intimately familiar with felt uncomfortably foreign.

Nico looked up as Jason entered the kitchen and spared him a quick glance and a half-smile before returning his focus to a piece of notebook paper laid out before him on the table. He listened intently to whatever the person on the other line was saying. Jason glanced down at the paper and his heart broke a little more. Funeral plans.

Jason returned to the bedroom, choosing to give Nico privacy. However, there was nowhere in the apartment that Jason could escape his own thoughts. Jason needed to stretch his legs, to see different walls, to wear different clothes. Was this how Nico had felt the past few months when Jason was at school. Stir crazy and frustrated and lonely and crushed by the reality of his shitty situation? Jason needed to walk, he needed air, he needed space.

He really needed new clothes. He’d thrown his own away yesterday and now wore a shirt and pants that apparently belonged to Chiron’s nephew, who had lived with the man for a few months during high school, and still visited from time to time,

 _We’ve stolen his room,_ Jason realized.

He thought of his own bedroom then, in an apartment building that had become a crime scene. No one would be in it now. His mother was still in the hospital, the cops had no reason to further investigate—the real crime had occurred on the roof, after all—and Jason and Nico, well… Jason doubted they would ever return to the apartment. Nico would likely never step foot through the door, and Jason would not be somewhere that Nico was not.

Besides, there was nothing left for them there. Well, almost nothing.

Jason actually did need his clothes. He didn’t want to inconvenience Chiron any longer than necessary, but Jason and Nico had nowhere else to go at the moment, and the bookseller had been an immense help lately. Even if this living arrangement was only temporary, Jason figured that having some of their things here would be beneficial for both boys.

And, well, the fresh air wouldn’t hurt either.

 

. . .

 

At first, the hustle and bustle of the New York streets was a comfort to Jason. Manhattan didn’t stop for anyone or anything. Nico and Jason had gone through hell, but for everyone else it was just a regular… a regular… Thursday? Friday? Jason couldn’t remember. He knew, technically, that they had gotten back from the police station yesterday morning, but it felt like so much longer ago. Surely it had been weeks, _months_ , since Jason had been at school, since Nico had kissed him good morning and begged him to stay in bed and make love.

Jason wanted to go back to that. He ached for those days. Ached for the normalcy. He realized that part of that desire was wrong, because Nico had still been under suspicion then, had still been wanted by the cops. But… even knowing that… Jason wanted it. They had been so hopeful, the world was so full of possibility. What did the world hold for Nico now, with Maria dead?

Jason, lost in his thoughts, didn’t notice the newsstand until he nearly crashed into it. “Shit,” he cursed, stepping back. Then, actually seeing the newspapers on display, he cursed again. Jason was on the front page of the paper. Jason _and_ Nico, actually.

**Murder Suspect Nico di Angelo Declared Innocent. Father Hades di Angelo the Real Killer.**

The picture beneath it was dark, and not particularly clear considering it was on the front page of the _New York Daily News,_ but there it was. Or rather, there Jason and Nico were. The pair stood in front of a cop car outside of Jason’s apartment building, embracing each other as a chaotic mass of police officers and curious residents swirled around them. Jason could not clearly make out either boy’s face exactly, and outsiders would probably wonder whether the two were merely hugging or kissing. Jason, having the memory of this particular moment seared into his mind, knew it was the latter. In a moment of both incredible sorrow and incredible relief, Jason and Nico had clung to each other and kissed in a desperate manner, terrified that some other outside force would come and tear them apart. The kiss had been salty and wet with their combined tears, Jason recalled. When they’d kissed, Jason hadn’t cared who saw, hadn’t worried about the dozens of people clustered around the building watching their every move. It had only been Jason and Nico standing there, as far as Jason was concerned. The picture captured the same kind of intimacy that Jason had felt at the moment. Their faces were hidden by the camera angle and someone who didn’t know Jason would never be able to recognize that the blond in the picture was high school student Jason Grace. Even Nico, one of the most recognizable faces in the city as of late, was barely recognizable. They were just two figures kissing amidst chaos, young and in love. That was the last real kiss they had shared, Jason realized with a start. The thought was a pang in his chest.

Jason picked up the newspaper and began to read the article, perhaps against his better judgment.

_“After months of speculation and uncertainty, seventeen year old Bianca di Angelo’s murderer has finally been caught, but not before claiming another victim. On Wednesday night, Maria di Angelo, mother of Bianca and Nico, was killed on the roof of a Financial District apartment building. NYPD was called to the scene after a concerned resident heard shouting coming from the rooftop. At the same time as Maria’s body was found, her son, sixteen year old murder suspect Nico di Angelo was finally located. However, in a surprising turn of events, it was discovered that Nico di Angelo is not responsible for the murder of his sister or mother. Rather, Nico’s father, Hades di Angelo, has officially been declared as the real murderer. Mr. di Angelo, who intentionally framed his son for the death of his daughter, had been allegedly holding his wife Maria captive in their apartment during the past three months up until Wednesday, when Hades and a small gang of accomplices found and confronted the famously missing Nico. High school senior Jason Grace, a schoolmate of both Nico and Bianca, found himself caught in the conflict after it came to Hades’ attention that he had been secretly keeping Nico in his apartment while the two tried to find a way to rescue Maria di Angelo and clear Nico’s name. The effort turned out to be for naught, however, when the unfortunate family reunion ended in bloodshed. After hours of questioning and the discovery of important new evidence, Nico di Angelo was released from police custody Thursday morning and allowed to return home—wherever home may now be for the newly orphaned teenager.”_

There was more, of course, but Jason didn’t know if he could stand to read it. He knew the details of the case, back to front, no reminder necessary. How the newspaper was already allowed to release such information, however, was a mystery to Jason. Wasn’t there supposed to be some amount of confidentiality involved in such circumstances?

Then again, the insatiable New Yorkers had always treated this case as a spectacle. Jason shouldn’t be surprised by the theatrics of it all at this point.

Beneath the photograph of Jason and Nico, Jason noticed a brief caption: _Di Angelo and Grace passionately embrace in the wake of their traumatic experience_ and snorted. As if whoever had written the caption could even begin to understand how Jason and Nico felt at that moment. The writer and the photographer probably weren’t even the same person. Jason hated whoever had taken this damn picture, whoever had decided to put it on the front page, and whoever had written the stupid caption. Jason hated all of them.

He crumpled the paper in his hands.

“Hey, man, are you gonna pay for that?” Demanded the man working the stand.

Jason shoved a few dollars at him and stormed away, leaving the crumpled paper on the counter.

Jason’s building was a lot calmer than it had been the last time he’d stood outside of it. No ambulance wheeling out Maria’s body, no reporters straining to hear what the police officers were saying to each other, no men being pushed into the back of cop cars.

Just Jason.

Inside it was slightly different. The same old doorman, Janus, lounged behind his desk, but he was no longer alone. Two security guards stood just inside the doors, all broad shoulders and scowling faces and crossed arms.

“Name?” The one on the left asked Jason as the door fell shut behind him.

“What’s going on?” Jason inquired.

“Building’s owner added new security after what happened here on Wednesday. Only residents are allowed upstairs alone. If you’re a visitor, a resident will have to come down and sign you in.”

“No need, boys,” Janus the doorman said, rising to his feet. Jason didn’t know if he’d ever seen the apathetic man out of his chair. “This is Mr. Jason Grace. He lives on floor twenty.” Jason noticed the morning paper, the one with his and Nico’s picture on the front page, sitting atop the man’s desk, and blushed. It was a wonder the man had not lost his job, unknowingly letting a wanted teenage boy exist in the building for months and allowing a murderer and his crew to waltz right through the doors.

Jason understood why the owner wanted some beefed up security.

The left security guard’s eyes widened slightly. “Oh, welcome back then, Mr. Grace.” Even if he hadn’t read the paper yet, it was clear this man’s new boss had warned him about Jason, or maybe even the cops. Jason was uncomfortable with this new development in his life, where people heard his name and suddenly knew him. How they looked at him differently.

“Am I allowed to enter my apartment?” Jason asked, to no one in particular.

“Cops left yesterday,” Janus said with a noncommittal shrug. “Don’t see why not.”

Jason nodded. Then, pretending all three men were not staring at him, he squared his shoulders and started toward the elevator.

Jason’s sense of dread rose faster than the elevator. The last time he had entered his apartment, he’d been with Nico, and Hades had been waiting in the dark for him. Now it was daytime, and Jason was alone, and Hades would not be there waiting for him, but Jason’s hands still shook. He’d been so desperate to get out of Chiron’s apartment that he hadn’t stopped to consider if he was ready to return to the place where he had nearly died just over a day before. The elevator dinged as it reached floor twenty and Jason released a slow breath.

 _It’s fine,_ he told himself as he walked, _you’ve lived here forever. Just walk inside like it’s a normal day._

He struggled to hold his hand steady as he raised the key to the door, unlocked it, and stepped inside.

Everything inside looked the same. Pristine, even. There was no sign that anything bad had occurred here. The roof would perhaps be a different story, but Jason did not need to go to the roof. He needed to go to his room.

Without lingering too long in the entryway, Jason headed down the hall to his bedroom. Jason’s room, at least, held no bad memories. The majority of his relationship with Nico had occurred between these four walls. He imagined returning to his room and finding Nico in their bed, asleep or reading one of Jason’s books as he often was.

He remembered returning home from school some days and finding that Nico was waiting for him right at the bedroom door so he could kiss him immediately upon his return. Realistically, Jason knew that these were memories of Nico, though, and not the room. They could have happy memories like this somewhere else. And therefore the room, like the rest of the apartment, would be easy to walk away from. Jason had planned to leave anyway, come August, and never return to this place again. What difference did three months make?

Suddenly, Jason thought of Nico, of Maria, of Bianca.

Sometimes, three months could make a world of a difference.

 

. . .

 

Jason packed three suitcases full of clothing. Nearly all of it was his. He wondered if, now that Nico was clear, they would be able to get his things as well. Nico had come to Jason with only a shirt, jeans, a single pair of worn out shoes, a beat-up but cherished aviator jacket, and the cuff bracelet Jason now wore around his wrist.

However, he doubted Nico would ever choose to return to his former home any more than he would choose to return here. Jason would have to find a way to ask Nico what he wanted. Jason could hire someone to get Nico’s things, if need be. He would already need to send someone here to collect his books at some point, as there were more than Jason could ever carry on his own. For the time being, the only things Jason cared to bring were his clothes, his laptop and school supplies, and his father’s old watch, which had been sitting in a drawer since Jason had started wearing Nico’s leather bracelet.

As much as Jason wanted to walk back, he couldn’t drag three suitcases behind him. He wished Hades hadn’t broken his phone. He needed to call for Chiron or a taxi to take him back to Delphi. He would have to use Janus’s phone to place a call.

So, without much fanfare, Jason left his family’s apartment behind and didn’t look back.

Downstairs, the security guards seemed to have found some excitement. Jason couldn’t see who they bickered with right by the doors, but he heard her.

“I told you already, I can’t call him. I’ve tried like eighty times, now if you could just let me through—”

Jason stopped suddenly. The voice was so familiar to him, he could have picked it out of a crowd of thousands.

And then, one of the guards adjusted his stance and he saw her, too. Eyes wide, dark hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, a stubborn set to her jaw.

“Piper!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAN OH MAN, writing about these sad boys makes me so sad too. I think that is half of why writing this chapter took so long. More interesting things will happen in the next chapter, though, I promise. Thanks to everyone for sticking with me and supporting this story! Hopefully the next update will come a little faster, since it is summer now. 
> 
> HOPEFULLY.


	28. Searching for Light (In This Unfathomable Darkness)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost: I AM SO ASHAMED! It took me forever to write this chapter and get it out to you all. To be honest, I was temporarily lost with this story. I clearly knew what I wanted to happen, but I didn't quite know how the next several chapters would pan out to make all of that happen. I think I have a pretty clear direction now, and I HOPE that that means I will not leave you all hanging like that again! It certainly didn't help that I had updated two chapters of WYLEI in a row over the summer.
> 
> Also, this is basically my longest chapter yet. I didn't check to be sure, but it is a MONSTER. It is in fact SO long that this isn't even all I had originally thought would be in it. I kept getting great new ideas that I just couldn't help but incorporate.
> 
> Since it's been so long since the last chapter, I'll give a brief little summary of where we left off: Unable to sit around in the apartment while Nico made funeral arrangements, Jason set out to his old apartment to collect some of his and Nico's belongings. Along the way, he stumbled across the day's newspaper, which featured a picture of Nico and Jason embracing and a long article spilling all the details of the di Angelo case. Once he got to the apartment, Jason found that there were new security guards monitoring the door. And, on his way out, he found Piper frantically trying to get into the building to see him.
> 
> NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO... CHAPTER 28

Piper McLean looked up as Jason called her name, her fist frozen in the air as if she had been about to start throwing punches. “Jason,” he saw, rather than heard, her whisper. Then, louder, “Let me through.”

The guards stepped to the side, arms up in the air as if they were still half convinced Piper was going to hit them. And the girl started forward with a vengeance.

“Piper,” Jason said again. “What are you—”

“You reckless dumbass!” She yelled, beating at his chest with her small but forceful hands. “I can’t believe you! Harboring suspected criminals, going head to head with murderers, nearly getting yourself killed!” She hit him again, with less pressure this time. “Do you have any idea how _terrified_ I was when I saw the paper this morning!” Another hit, but now Jason saw tears forming in her eyes. “All this time you’ve been trying to protect me while throwing yourself right into the middle of this insane danger! And you just let me stay mad at you! Even knowing that you could—that you could have—” the threat of tears turned into a blatant sob and Piper raised her arms again, only this time to throw her entire body at Jason and trap him in a borderline aggressive hug. “Why would you do that, Jason? Why?”

“Pipes, I am so sorry.”

“That’s it? You’re _sorry_ for nearly letting yourself die? For protecting me but letting Leo know everything? What if you had both died? What—what would I have done, Jase?” She cried harder.

“Come here,” he said, leading her to a bench by the elevators, away from the curious ears of the other men in the lobby. Hesitantly, Piper followed, and the two sat in silence for a moment.

“I did what I had to do,” Jason said finally, “I was doing what I needed to in order to protect all the people that matter most to me… to the best of my ability. That meant keeping you in the dark if I could help it. I didn’t like lying to you.”

“How come Leo knew everything, then?” She whispered, her sobs reduced to whimpering.

“That was an accident, actually. It’s a long story.”

“Everything is a long story with you now, apparently,” she sighed.

“I know. And I’ll try my best to explain it all to you. Everything. You deserve to know everything, Pipes. Not being able to talk to you about all of this killed me.”

“Jason, please do not flippantly use the word ‘killed’ less than two days after nearly being murdered.”

Jason was reminded suddenly of Nico, stiffening at the same word no matter the context, and felt bad. “Sorry.”

“Okay, well, let’s not pour out any long scary stories right here on this bench, hmm? I see you brought down some bags. Hedge is parked outside, do you need a ride somewhere?”

“Yeah, Chiron’s. That’s where I’m staying right now.”

Piper nodded. “Okay. Let’s go, then. Just being in this building is making me feel sick to my stomach after everything.”

“You’re telling me,” Jason muttered.

Piper’s driver, usually one to talk any and everyone’s ear off without prompting, was unsettlingly silent when he saw Jason follow Piper out of the doors. He merely raised an eyebrow at the blond while helping put his suitcases in the trunk.

“Hedge, can we take Jason to Delphi?”

The short, stocky man grunted in response and returned to the driver’s seat.

Piper remained silent until the car turned a corner and Jason’s building disappeared from sight. “So,” she said, “Nico di Angelo, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh Jason,” Piper sighed, “You really got yourself into it, didn’t you?”

“My last few months have certainly been… interesting.”

“So that means it’s all true, then? Everything in the newspapers and on TV?”

“I mean, I haven’t seen every recorded detail but… maybe. Nico has been with me since the beginning of February. Then we developed feelings for each other and things sort of escalated.”

“Escalated seems like an understatement, Jason. A man tried to… tried to _kill you_ ,” she whispered the last two words, as if she was afraid of hearing them out loud, even if they did come from her own mouth.

Jason was amazed that _he_ could hear it. That the reality of his near death experience didn’t affect him more. Was Nico’s insane casualness rubbing off on Jason now? Or was it the sad reality that Jason still had bigger things on his plate than processing what he had just gone through? Was that how Nico felt, too?

“I know.”

“How come I look more shaken up over this fact than you?”

Piper noticed. Of course she noticed. Even when he had been blatantly lying to Piper, she had still managed to see the cracks in his façade. With the wall officially down, there was no hiding a single thought.

“Well, don’t lose your head over this but . . . well, I had kind of seen me dying as a possibility once I made the decision to see things through no matter what.”

“Why?” She asked, her voice a lot smaller than before, “Why would you just accept that? Why would you do all of this?”

Jason knew the answer instinctually. It was the answer to nearly every question in his life these days. “Because of Nico,” he said slowly, aware of her fragile state, “Because I’m in love with him.”

“This is crazy,” Piper sighed, leaning her head against the car window. “This is all crazy. I don’t know how I’m supposed to take this.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re a damn fool, Jason.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So many people love you, Jason. We need you.”

“Nico needed me, too.” _Nico needed me more_ , he didn’t say.

“And he was just okay with you deciding to sacrifice your own life for him?”

Jason flushed. “Well, uh, no.”

“You should be _extra_ sorry, then,” she huffed. “You’ve scared a lot of people.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You keep saying that,” she said, agitation creeping into her voice.

“It’s all I can say.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

The car went silent. Jason stared at the headrest in front of him. Hedge turned on the radio, and Jason wondered if that would be the only sound in the vehicle for the rest of the drive. It wasn’t.

“Okay, so,” Piper started after a few minutes, “Long story short, you took in a suspected criminal, realized he wasn’t a criminal, agreed to help him stop the real bad guy, fell in love, nearly died, and now you’re staying with Chiron?”

“Well… that’s the basics of it,” Jason agreed.

“What about Nico?” She asked.

“What about him?”

“Is he at Chiron’s too? How is he handling everything?”

Jason stared at her, not trying to hide the pain and frustration of his last few days. “Yeah, and he isn’t,” the words felt wretched to say. “At least, that’s what it seems like. Every time I try to bring it up with him he has just shut me down. And I stupidly promised to stop bringing it up.”

“Well at least you know that was stupid,” Piper sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Hopeless, hopeless Jason.”

“I don’t want to upset him!” Jason defended.

“But you’re upset now, right?” She shook her head. “All the things that happened to you and this is the only thing you seem genuinely rocked by.”

Jason shrugged. “Well, I mean… I love him.”

“I’m beginning to understand that, Jase,” Piper relented. “Just… think of yourself every now and then, okay? Nico has been through hell, but your life lately hasn’t been a walk in the park, either.”

The car pulled up in front of Delphi. “Okay,” Jason told her, if only to comfort her. Jason was worrying hard enough about Nico already, he didn’t need to have Piper start worrying about him. If Piper was going to worry about someone, Nico was far more worthy of her concern. “Thanks, Piper. For being so… you. About all of this.”

She cracked a smile. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’ve missed you like crazy,” Jason said, and this at least was the truth.

Her smile widened. “Back at you, Jase. Don’t hesitate to call or text if you need me. I want to do what I can.” She leaned in to hug the blond.

“Well, I can’t text since Hades sort of smashed my phone into a wall but…”

“Oh, here,” Piper slid her hand into the pocket on the seatback in front of her. “Use this. It’s the emergency phone my overprotective father _insists_ I have.”

Jason reddened. “You don’t have to do that, Pipes.”

“Hell yes I do. Just until you replace your phone. We, your friends and family, should have a more reliable way to contact you than Chiron’s landline.”

“Fine, just for a few days. Your dad wouldn’t want you just handing out phones to people.”

“C’est la vie,” she shrugged as Jason pocketed the phone. “Okay, now you can go.”

As he slid out of the backseat, a thought occurred to him. Although the last few days had been a blur, he was fairly certain that the confrontation with Hades had been two nights ago, on Wednesday.

“Pipes,” he said.

“Yes, Jason?”

“Shouldn’t you be in school today? Isn’t it Friday?”

A touch of sadness dimmed her smile. “Oh, I guess you forgot,” she stated. “Today is Good Friday. Happy Easter Weekend, huh?”

“Yeah,” Jason said, and the word tasted sour. “Happy Easter.”

 

. . .

 

Whether it was because of the holiday or because of Jason and Nico, Delphi was closed again. Jason took his time unlocking the door, not totally sure that he was ready to go back in. That sounded horrible, of course. Just because Nico had been emotionally distant, didn’t mean Jason had to fight back by being physically distant. Nico didn’t deserve that. Not to mention, Jason didn’t know what else he could do. Walking around the city more could mean risking recognition, and he couldn’t go see Leo and burden him. Piper probably needed time to process things, too. In the past, Jason would solve problems by reading books. Devouring books. Consuming novel after novel until he forgot that Jason Grace existed.

Now, however, Jason doubted he could forget the real world for even a page.

Heaving a great sigh, he entered the shop. Once upon a time, this place had been one of his favorites in the whole city. The smell of books, the comfort of being surrounded by beloved fictional characters, and even the old, worn carpet had made this place feel like home to Jason. Now, all he could see was the rack where the newspapers usually sat, where today’s paper would have been if Chiron had bothered (instead it was still just Wednesday’s paper, which was graciously Nico free), and the mystery section where he and Nico had once been so happy together. Where he had touched and held and loved Nico all night long. Now Jason was hesitant to even stroke the boy’s cheek.

His feet dragged up the stairs as despair bloomed once again in his chest. Nico. The person he could hardly bear to be away from, the person he could hardly bear to be around. The door to Chiron’s apartment was ajar. Jason tossed his first suitcase through it wordlessly and then went back for the other two. When he entered the apartment officially, he found Chiron sitting in his favorite chair.

“Does this mean I should be expecting you boys to stick around for a while?” The bookseller inquired, eyeing the baggage thoughtfully.

“I just needed to get our things out of that place. Once I can find somewhere else for us to go we’ll be out of your hair.”

The man released a deep breath and stood up. “Jason, you don’t need to find somewhere else to go. I have the room, don’t worry about it.”

“I wouldn’t want to overstay our welcome, though.”

“The welcome doesn’t come with an expiration date, Jason. I wouldn’t think of casting the two of you out. Couldn’t live with myself if I did.”

Jason made to protest once more, but the older man’s eyes silenced him. Instead, he nodded. “Thank you, Chiron. You’re too kind to me.”

“Don’t mention it. Oh, but we should get you a new cell phone as soon as possible. That sister of yours got the store’s phone number and called this morning simply screaming about you, Jason. Apparently she’s been trying to get a hold of you for days.”

Jason’s heart leapt to his throat. _Thalia._ How had he not thought of Thalia? Surely the second she’d heard of Nico’s discovery she had gone into a panic, and Jason hadn’t been around to reassure her.

“I—I should call her,” Jason stuttered, starting toward Chiron’s landline, then remembering Piper’s phone in his pocket. He pulled that out instead. There were few phone numbers Jason Grace knew by heart, but his sister’s had always been one of them.

“I’ll give you some privacy, I have an errand to run, anyway” Chiron said. “I’m fairly certain Nico is asleep in your room. Or pretending to sleep.” He looked at Jason with tired, sorrowful eyes. Jason’s shoulders slumped. They both knew it was the latter. If Nico had fallen into a complete sleep even once these last two days, Jason would be shocked.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he mumbled as Chiron left the apartment. Jason held his breath while the phone rang. He didn’t end up having to hold it for very long.

“Hello?” His sister said with great urgency.

“Hey Thals, it’s Ja—”

“Jason Grace you will _never_ scare me like this again, understood?”

“I’m sorry,” Jason said, his phrase of the day.

“Oh yeah, what are you sorry for?”

“Um,” he swallowed. Women were endlessly tricky. “Not calling sooner?”

“And?” Her voice cracked through the phone like a whip.

“Endangering my life?”

“Thank you. Apology not accepted. But at least you seem to _know_ that you’re an idiot.”

“Piper talked my ear off about it already,” Jason admitted.

“Ah, yes. Solid girl, that one. I’ve always liked her. Now, anger aside, how are you?”

“Alive,” Jason shrugged, even though she couldn’t see it.

“Just alive? That’s how you feel?”

“After everything, that kind of feels like an accomplishment,” Jason tried to make a joke of it. Thalia said nothing though, so Jason quickly went on. Maybe it was not the time for jokes quite yet. “Things are… I don’t know, things are not too great here right now. I think it all doesn’t feel real yet. Especially not for Nico. Or he’s hiding his feelings, at least. I can’t figure out what he is really feeling.”

“Jason,” Thalia’s voice was soft, but firm. “I love Nico, he’s great and you love him so much and I’m happy for you, but I need to make sure _you_ are okay first. You’re my brother.”

Jason shook off Thalia’s words like raindrops. “Well my life is a huge mess, currently. With Wednesday night, and the police questioning, and Nico being cleared, and the story being all over the papers, and Maria’s funeral in the near future… I can only tackle one big thing at a time, right now. I have to prioritize at some point.”

“And you chose Nico, naturally.” She muttered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jason said, aware how irritable he sounded.

“Jason, someone tried to take your life.”

“I know, I was there. And yet, everyone keeps feeling the need to remind me.”

“Don’t snap at me, Jason, I’m just trying to help you.”

He softened immediately. “I’m sorry. I constantly feel on the verge of blowing up about something or other. So many feelings are just… swirling inside of me lately.”

“Give those feelings some attention, okay? Two emotionally traumatized teenage boys is a lot for poor old Chiron to handle.”

“Okay I’ll try,” Jason said. “But what can I do about Nico?”

Thalia sighed lightly into the phone. Then, sounding far more tired than she had a minute ago, she said, “Tell him about how you’re feeling. If he’s scaring you or frustrating you, or whatever, he deserves to know.”

“Won’t that stress him out? He has so much on his plate right now… Though he rarely acts like it.”

“Maybe it will, maybe it will end up helping. Look, I don’t know Nico like you do. But I do know my little brother pretty well. If you don’t talk to Nico about your feelings, about everything really, then when you really do blow up, it will be at him. And something tells me he wouldn’t be very receptive to that, all things considered. You get what I’m saying?”

 _Sort of._ “Yes.” He didn’t think he would blow up at Nico, even with how wretched he’d felt the past two days. Nico had been hurt and attacked by so many people. Jason was the one person left in his world who he could rely on to be there for him one hundred percent of the time. One hundred percent of the time left no room for blowups.

“Do you need me to fly up there? I feel like I should be there. I’m looking up flights.”

“No, Thals,” Jason held out his hand as if to stop her, even though she was a thousand plus miles away. “It’s okay, really. We’ll figure things out here. You need to stay in school and not flunk out. And I’ll be joining you in just a few months.”

“Fine, I’ll stay. Hesitantly,” she relented. “But I’m coming up once the term is done to see you graduate. No ifs ands or buts.”

“Okay.”

“And speaking of buts, get your butt back to school soon, okay? I know your education seems so small in the grand scheme of things, but you won’t be doing yourself any favors by locking yourself up in Chiron’s apartment with Nico until the end of your days.”

“I know. And I’ll go back… when things are more settled.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

“Okay, sis. Is there anything else you want to tell me? I haven’t checked on Nico in a few hours and I need to make sure everything is…” what? Okay? Not okay? Did he hope to find Nico fast asleep, Nico awake but zombielike, or Nico as a full on train wreck sobbing into a pillow? This situation was endlessly confusing.

He didn’t finish his sentence. He tried, but words failed him. Who _hadn’t_ words been failing lately? Could anyone truly talk anymore?

“Yeah, I get it. Sort of. Go check on your love. And take care of yourself, too. I’m going to call this number every single day and you better answer and let me know how things are going. What phone is this anyway?”

“Piper leant it to me. And yeah, I can do that. I’ll keep you updated. Love you.”

“Love you too. I worry about you twenty-four seven, but I love you.” She hung up.

If Nico really was asleep in their room, Jason figured the right thing would be to leave him to rest. Even if he wasn’t, giving Nico some space was probably the best choice. But Jason, being masochistic Jason, walked straight to their room to check on him. The last time Jason had seen his boyfriend, he’d been arranging the funeral of his mother. Had that possibly made the reality of the situation finally hit him? Or would he find the same numb boy lying on their bed?

There was only one way to find out.

When Jason opened the door, he found Nico sitting up in bed, wide awake, and his heart sank. The little sliver of hope he had carried broke in half. “Chiron said you were asleep,” he said when the boy did not immediately acknowledge his arrival.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Nico shrugged. “Too busy thinking about the funeral plans.”

“Oh,” Jason said, hoping Nico could not detect how broken that single syllable sounded. “When is the funeral going to be?”

“Tomorrow,” Nico replied immediately. “It’s Easter weekend, I know, but we can’t really wait any longer. Everything has to be fast at this point.”

“Oh,” that damn word again. “I see. That makes sense.”

“Yeah. Do you think Leo would want to come? He didn’t know her or anything, but…”

“If you want him there, he wouldn’t miss it.”

Nico nodded. “I want him there, then. And you, of course. And Chiron. And Percy. And Hestia, too, but I don’t know if they’ve let her out of the hospital yet. We should go visit her. We haven’t even called, have we?” The way he spoke, so plainly and casually, was more disturbing than if he had been screaming. His mother dead, Hestia in the hospital from her stab wound. It was as if Nico were summarizing a book rather than the past week of their lives.

“No, we haven’t. I can call her for you.”

“No, no, I should do it. She is… was… one of my mother’s closest friends.”

Jason finally took a seat on the bed beside Nico. “How are you feeling about all this? The funeral, I mean.”

“I don’t know. I’ve been so busy getting everything arranged that I haven’t really had a chance to stop and think about it. It’s kind of weird to say that I planned my mom’s funeral, and I didn’t even attend my sister’s. You know?”

“Guess so,” Jason shrugged, feeling absolutely wooden in his movements. “That isn’t exactly what I meant, but…”

“Where’ve you been this afternoon, anyway?” A subject change. Shut down again.

“I went to get some of our things from… from the apartment.”

For a quarter of a second, something in Nico’s expression hardened. A flicker of emotion lit his eyes, then disappeared just as rapidly. Jason’s stomach lurched. _Come back!_ He wanted to scream. _Show me that side of you. I love you._

“How was that?” Nico asked in the same brutally casual tone, as if he had never had that momentary reaction.

“It was… weird. They had some security in the lobby. And the doorman was actually working. And they were all staring at me. Then I ran into Piper afterwards.”

“Piper?”

“She had been trying to get a hold of me. And we talked for a while about everything. She gave me a ride home.”

“That’s nice. You think you’ll be friends again, then?”

“Yeah, it seems like we will be.” Jason said, struggling for the same casual tone while swirling with wretchedness inside.

Uncomfortable silence flooded the room. Jason longed to reach out to Nico. To brush a thumb over his, to curl fingers into his hair, to lay his face into the curve of Nico’s neck and feel their chests rise and fall together. Maybe, he thought, maybe Nico would even let him do it. But Jason knew it wouldn’t make him feel any better. Jason could squeeze his eyes shut as tight as he wanted, but nothing would erase the fact that things were not okay.

“What things did you get from the apartment?” Nico finally spoke, just when Jason thought the conversation might have reached an end.

“Most of my clothes, and what little there was of yours. I have your jacket.”

Nico grimaced, which Jason thought was a pretty big reaction compared to what Nico had been giving before. “It’s April. I don’t need it. Or want it.”

Jason bit down on his lip. At some point in the struggle, Jason’s—no, _Nico’s—_ cuff bracelet had been ripped off. He didn’t know what had become of it. The cops had taken it, maybe. Or it was still sitting on that rooftop, baking in the sun. Perhaps it had even come off before then, in the apartment itself. The bracelet had been the least of Jason’s worries at the time, but now he sort of missed it.

He doubted Nico did, though, considering the bracelet was part of the reason that his mother was dead. The boy hadn’t said a word about it one way or another.

Jason wondered if that had anything to do with Nico’s reaction to the jacket. It was so personal, so closely tied to who Nico was, so full of memories. And Nico likely wanted to cast it aside for just those reasons. Anything too personal, too painful to think about, could not blend with this new Nico. Jason only hoped _he_ would not be the next one to go.

“I’ll just put it away somewhere in case you want it later.”

Nico answered in the form of a half-shrug. “Do whatever.”

“Speaking of clothes, though…” Jason said, truly understanding the expression ‘walking through a minefield’ for the first time, “You really only have a few shirts and pants. If you wanted, someone could go get your real clothes from… your family’s apartment.”

“I don’t want you or anyone going there,” Nico said immediately, and Jason didn’t think he was imagining the anger burning behind the boy’s words. “And it’s not really my family’s apartment anymore, considering I don’t have a fam—” he stopped. Snapped his mouth shut. Looked away.

Jason thought he saw the other boy shaking, slightly. His face, however, was now hidden from the blond. “Forget it,” the other boy said through clenched teeth.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, um…”

“I need a suit,” Nico said, changing the subject once again. His body remained tensed, as if someone had a hold of all Nico’s metaphorical strings and was keeping them pulled absolutely taut. “I have black pants and that dress shirt you bought me, but that’s not nearly enough for her funeral. I need an actual suit.

“We’ll take care of that. I can go buy one, I know your size.”

Nico didn’t respond immediately. Jason backtracked. “Unless you’d… rather I stay here? I could call Chiron. Or Leo, or Percy, even. One of them can go.”

“I can go myself. You don’t need to do everything for me anymore, you know.”

Jason felt Nico’s words like a literal kick in the chest. If he’d been standing, he imagined his whole body would have been knocked back by the impact.

Had Nico meant to sound so cold? So harsh? Had Jason done something to upset him?

Was this his way of saying that he didn’t need Jason anymore?

Jason needed to sit down. Only he was already sitting.

Curling into a ball and having a panic attack seemed like a viable option.

“I just figured you might not want to go out. You haven’t been out in public in a long time. And with everything so hot in the news.”

“ _You_ went out, and last time I checked you were a part of everything too. I’ll be fine. Have to face the music eventually.”

“I can go with you,” Jason piped in, not understanding why he kept trying so hard. What did he think would happen? What would change?

“No,” Nico said. “I kind of just want to do this alone. I haven’t done anything on my own in a while. Can’t keep burdening people.”

“You’ll never be a burden to me, Nico,” Jason whispered. “I love you.” The words hurt merely coming out of his mouth. Didn’t feel right to say, even though loving Nico was the one thing Jason was most sure about in this fucked up world.

“I know, I know,” Nico assured him, somewhat tiredly, “But I still want to do this.”

Jason reclined so he was lying down atop the bed and looked at the ceiling rather than Nico. “Well, I can’t stop you, can I?”

“I’ll be back soon,” Nico said, getting to his feet. Jason said nothing as the boy left the room.

Jason, strongly considering going with that curl-into-a-ball-and-have-a-panic-attack plan, said nothing. He was just going to lie there and let Nico leave. He would panic in private. Shiver and shake and hyperventilate and go crazy with his worry once Nico was gone. He wouldn’t show Nico that side of him—not when it could lead to a fight.

This mentality lasted all of thirty seconds. Then Jason flung himself from the bed and raced after Nico through the bedroom door.

He found the boy digging through one of Jason’s suitcases. “I need my clothes,” he said, looking up at Jason as he arrived.

“Money, too. I—I need to give you some money?” It came out as more of a question, though Jason meant for it to be a statement of fact. “How are you paying for the funeral, also?”

“My mother had life insurance, so that is being taken care of. And, well, I obviously won’t get any money from my father but my mother did have a separate account, with her inheritance from my grandparents. I know I won’t get all of that until I am eighteen, but I’m fine for now. Some adult will act as a beneficiary of that money in the meantime, but I also have some of my own money in an account. It hasn’t been used in months, but I should still be able to get to it. It’s enough for a jacket.”

Jason took a moment to process all of that. He hadn’t heard Nico speak so many words at once in days. “Oh, I see. But you don’t have your wallet or anything right now. Let me just lend you the money for your suit, and you can pay me back later.”

Nico turned to Jason with clear frustration settled into his features. He probably knew that Jason’s suggestion was the best option, but for whatever reason he wanted Jason to have nothing to do with this. It stung. Nico had always been unhappy about all of the money Jason spent on him, but Jason was just suggesting a temporary loan, not a gift. Though, he would have paid for it all anyway without batting an eye.

“Fine, whatever. I’ll pay you back as soon as possible.”

“Take your time, really. I know how much you have going on and—”

“Jason, you don’t have to worry about me so much anymore. I mean, you didn’t have to originally, but especially not now. Just take a breather, you’ve earned it.”

 _I worry about you more now than I ever have._ “Sorry. Just… trying to help.”

“You’ve helped plenty,” Nico said, yanking his shirt over his head. Perhaps he had meant the words to be malicious, perhaps it was only a genuine statement, but either way Jason shrank back into himself slightly.

“Okay. Okay. Do you know the bookstore’s phone number though? Just in case? Let me write it down for you if you don’t. If something is going really badly, you can just call and—”

“I know the number.” He changed into one of the black shirts Jason had bought him, and then switched out the shorts for his original pair of ripped jeans. They were less visibly dirty now, though Jason still thought they looked like they’d spent weeks on the streets of New York. “Do you have sunglasses?”

Jason told him where they were.

“Hey,” he said as Nico placed the sunglasses atop his head. “Earlier when I saw Piper, she leant me an emergency extra cellphone she has. Please bring it. If you need to call the store, you won’t have to worry about finding a payphone or anything.”

Nico looked displeased once again. “Jason—”

“For my sake, if not your own. Please take it.”

“Okay, whatever, I’ll take it,” Nico grudgingly agreed, holding out a hand. Jason had always been entranced by Nico’s fine-fingered, surprisingly pale hands. He’d held them and kissed them and felt them on his body so many times—too many to ever count. Now, as he handed Nico the phone and his credit card, he did not even want their fingers to touch. He was afraid to touch his own boyfriend. Afraid their hands would meet and things wouldn’t feel the same.

 _How can I feel this way and still love him so much?_ Jason wondered, distraught.

“Okay, I’ll be going, then,” Nico said, sounding a more than a little awkward uncomfortable. He kept his eyes on the door.

“I’ll see you soon. Remember to call me if you need to. For anything at all. I’ll be here. Waiting.”

“Yeah.” Nico left with only that word lingering in the air. The door shut surprisingly hard behind him, and Jason crumpled to his knees.

He’d never imagined Nico’s freedom would make him this unhappy.

 

…

 

Anyone to ever live in New York could tell you how uncommon it was to run into someone you know in the streets. Between tourists, work commuters, and the eight million people who called the New York metropolitan area home, there were always unfamiliar faces swirling around you. But, once every now and then, you might pass a familiar face while heading to school, or picking up a few groceries from the corner store, or walking to the nearest subway station You stop suddenly and think something like “I think I know them” or “could that be the girl who works at the coffee shop down the street.” Rarely do you say anything to that person, though, because by the time you realize how you know them, they are no more than a bobbing head in the crowd half a block away from you.

Nico noticed this reaction in many people as he walked through the neighborhood. Only, his head was bowed, so all he saw were their feet. Dozens of feet stumbling suddenly to a stop, like unexpected commas in an otherwise smoothly, flowing sentence. He imagined their looks of scrutiny. Their inner monologues full of phrases like “Could that be…” and “I think that might have just been…” and all of them paired with his name. The sunglasses may have made some people skip over him, may have given him just enough anonymity to make people question without any solid confirmation, but it didn’t feel like enough.

Nico had travelled only a handful of blocks and he was shaking. A cold sweat dripped down his neck. The sidewalk seemed to distort itself and grow and churn beneath his feet as he shuffled along, and the dizzying effect of it did nothing for his nerves. He wished the swirling, shifting sidewalk could simply rise up and swallow him.

Stupid. Stupid. Coming out here was so stupid. Nico should have just let Jason come. Or Chiron come. Or let one of them go in his place. He didn’t want to be outside. He didn’t. He didn’t. He didn’t.

Someone coughed and he jumped. A phone rang and his pulse shot up. Someone’s elbow accidentally brushed him and he nearly screamed.

 _I wish Jason were here,_ he thought for only a moment, before realizing that he truthfully didn’t. Jason shouldn’t see him like this. Nico was anxious and unhinged and snap—

 _No._ It ran deeper than that, and Nico knew it. It wasn’t about Jason seeing him this way, it was about… seeing Jason. Nico didn’t know why. Or if he did, his subconscious didn’t want to embrace the truth. When he looked at Jason, all he could picture was his mother’s body hitting the floor, and it sickened him. It _sickened_ him.

When his breathing had lost any sense of evenness and Nico went lightheaded, he knew he could not go any farther. In a panic, he ducked into the park he was passing by. Washington Market Park, he thought it was. He’d never been to it, but had seen it enough times in his former life. Whether or not it matched his memories, Nico didn’t know. He could barely see with all of the spots dancing in his vision. _Great,_ he mused as he stumbled toward the nearest bench. He was slipping headfirst into a panic attack in public with no one around to snap him out of it.

Knowing he was having a panic attack should have, in theory, made it easier for him to calm down again, but that theory didn’t seem to apply to Nico. _I shouldn’t have done this, I shouldn’t have done this, I shouldn’t have done this._ The mantra played over and over in his head.

He needed to call Jason. He had to. He couldn’t go on like this. He couldn’t do anything in his current state. Jason would be right and Nico would be wrong and then Jason would feel justified in every fucking overprotective action he took and there would be nothing Nico could do about it.

No, no, he would not call Jason. He refused. What would Jason do, anyway? How could he be of any comfort when being around him was like a miniature panic attack in itself?

Nico was all alone. Fuck, was he ever alone. Alone and shaking and suddenly wishing for nothing in the world but his mother. Her warm smiles and smooth hands and comforting words. A loving touch to his shoulder, fingers brushing through his hair.

“Oh mio caro,” she would whisper, “Everything is going to be okay. I promise.”

Too bad things would _not_ be okay. Too bad all the people who loved him made promises they couldn’t keep. Too bad there was not a fucking thing in this fucked up world that Nico could cling to for comfort right now. His dead sister? His dead mother? His boyfriend who he could barely look at, let alone touch?

Nico thought of Hazel for only a moment. She was good, she was loving, she was his family member and friend. If he could trust anyone wholeheartedly to be in his corner, it would be her. But Hazel was also only fifteen—so young and still so innocent. Or rather, she had been a week ago. Now Hazel and her mother were buried in problems of their own, and Nico couldn’t bear to dump any more on her.

He laid on his side and closed his eyes. Maybe if he stayed still long enough, he would relax enough to go forward. A fool’s dream.

Then Nico’s leg vibrated.

No, not his leg. Something against his leg. In his pocket?

Oh! He thrust his hand into the pocket and blindly retrieved the cell phone Jason had forced upon him. The screen was lit up with a message, and after a minute of struggling to calm down, Nico was able to discern what it said.

**From: Leo**

**Hey Jase, I just got off the phone with Piper. She said she saw you and lent you her emergency phone. How’ve things been with you and Neeks?**

Miraculously, the message made Nico feel somewhat lighter. Leo Valdez. If someone had told him a year ago that he would ever be relieved or even happy to hear from _Leo Valdez…_

He wasn’t sure to what extent he could trust the guy, to be honest. Leo was kind, usually, and understanding, most of the time, and even pleasant to be around, if he wanted to be, but he was also Jason’s best friend. Could Nico really reach out to someone whose loyalties rested squarely with the… well, not the _enemy_ but…

Nico felt as if he had no choice but to try.

He pressed call. The phone rang only twice.

“Jase? What’s up?” Leo greeted, a hint of urgency barely concealed.

“It’s actually Nico, um,” he took a moment to swallow hard, “I need your help.”

Leo’s response was stone-cold serious. “Nico, are you okay?”

“Uh, c—can I swear you to s—secrecy about something?” Nervousness churned like nausea in his gut.

“Of course, what is it?”

“Are you sure? Even if it means keeping something from Jason?”

A slightly longer pause than before. And then, “I can do that.”

“Then… can you come pick me up? Like as soon as humanly possible?”

“Sure. Are you at Delphi? Where are you trying to go? Where is Jason?”

“I’m—I’m not at Delphi. I’m at Washington Memorial Park, I think. Jason is at Delphi but I—I don’t want to go there yet.”

“You’re out alone?” Now Leo sounded anxious.

“Yes. I n—needed to get a suit for my mother’s funeral to—tomorrow and I thought I could do it myself but now I’m kind of having a panic attack.”

“Okay, okay,” Leo said. Nico wondered if he had ever heard the boy sound more serious. “I’m on my way. Try to focus on breathing in and out normally, okay?”

“Okay,” Nico nodded, even though Leo couldn’t see it.

“Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?”

“No, I’m fine,” Nico said, not knowing for sure if he actually was. “Focus on getting here.”

“I have my mom’s truck. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Okay,” Nico said again, and hung up.

For ten minutes or so, Nico only thought of his own breathing. If he did that, he could drown out the sound of all the other people in the park. There were no more children laughing or parents calling or birds chirping at each other. Just the slowly steadying sound of inhales and exhales.

Then the familiar voice of Leo Valdez yanked him from that peace. “Harley, come _on,_ we aren’t here to play.”

Nico sat up too quickly, feeling his head spin once more, and saw Leo dragging along a boy of perhaps nine. The boy shared Leo’s tan complexion and mischievous smile.

“Sorry Neeks, I couldn’t dump him on anyone else, so Harley here had to tag along.”

“Oh, is this your brother?” He asked, feeling the nausea return.

“Nope, younger cousin, I have three of them. Nyssa, Christopher, and this little monster.”

“Hey, I know you!” Harley said, stabbing a finger in Nico’s direction. “Leo, you know Nico di Angelo?”

All the color—or rather, whatever slightly above white color he’d even had to begin with—drained from Nico’s face. He wanted nothing more than to retreat back into himself. Perhaps this had been a bad idea. He didn’t know how to deal with children.

 _Sorry,_ Leo mouthed to Nico before turning to his cousin. “Yeah, Harley, we’re friends. How do you know who he is?”

“I’m nine years old Leo, I’m not an idiot. Everyone at school has been talking about him,” he bounced over to the sitting teen. “Did you really fight bad guys? That is so cool!” He looked over his shoulder at his cousin, “Nico is like a superhero! Are you his sidekick?”

Leo smiled in an almost melancholy way. “No, Harley, now shut your big mouth for once.”

“ _My_ big mouth,” the boy scoffed. Nico did not know what to say. _A superhero?_ In what world was the useless, weak, frightened, emotionally wrecked and gay little teenage boy a superhero? Was he a hero because he hadn’t died? Because he’d watched other people die and hadn’t been able to do anything to stop it? Because he hid behind others while they fought his battles for him? Yeah, some hero.

“Where do you want to go?” Leo asked, crouching down before Nico to regain his attention. “Because if I’m smuggling you into Canada or something, a little more of a warning would have been helpful. Also, I think I just illegally street parked.”

Nico nearly smiled, in spite of it all. Something about Leo was quite miraculous, Nico supposed, in a very annoying sort of way. “I still need a suit,” Nico whispered. “But the thought of walking into a store makes me… it makes me feel sick.”

“Why didn’t you just let Jason go get you one? Or call him, instead of me?”

“Dunno,” Nico lied. “You did _promise_ you wouldn’t tell him about this, though. Whatever your promises are worth.”

“Hey hey hey now!” Leo protested. “I’m offended. I don’t make promises that I don’t intend to keep.”

Nico shivered. He’d heard _that_ before. “Let’s go to your truck before you get towed,” he muttered.

The three of them left the bench together, Harley’s mundane chatter only a gurgling in Nico’s ears. What was it about being in a state of desperation that caused Nico to trust people so easily? Allowing a homeless boy he never knew to share a sleeping space with him behind a dumpster north of Central Park. Allowing a handsome blond he barely knew to take him into his home…

Memories of Jason’s warm smile and confident words and loving touches clouded his mind, and Nico suddenly felt deeply… what? Deeply something. Something cold, something sour, something unpleasant. Nico didn’t quite know what it was, but he didn’t like it.

“So,” Leo said, “How about I drive us somewhere where they sell good suits, and we can go in together and buy you one.”

“Umm,” Nico didn’t even want to do that much, but he knew there wasn’t any better choice. He couldn’t just leave Leo to such an important task. Maria di Angelo did not deserve to have a son who showed up looking like a slob at her own funeral.

Everything had to be perfect.

At least on the outside.

Perfect in every detail that the others could see.

And if Nico’s insides were less than perfect, well, no one—not even Jason—needed to know.

 

…

 

Leo Valdez drummed his fingers nervously on the steering wheel. He’d tried to play it off, but Leo was floundering in a way he never had before.

Once upon a time, he’d told Jason he knew two things with absolute certainty. One, Kevin Jonas would never have a solo career and two, to never make confessions of love when you were drunk.

However, Leo had recently realized that that statement was no longer true. For he actually knew three things with absolute certainty, not two, and that third thing was that nothing on this earth was going to keep Jason Grace and Nico di Angelo from loving each other.

Now Leo wasn’t sure if he knew anything at all.

He’d spent almost the last two hours with the younger of those two boys. He’d seen the distant, panicked look in Nico’s eyes when he’d arrived. Watched a thousand emotions pass through him, but only as little flickers in his eyes. If eyes were really the window to the soul, then Nico’s soul was a fucking mess, Leo figured.

He’d carefully considered every word Nico had said, and every word he hadn’t. He’d watched Nico’s every move as they drifted through the clothing store, noticing how low that dark head was ducked and how rigid his posture was. He hadn’t even looked away when a girl working had pulled Leo aside to ask if the boy shopping with him was _the_ Nico di Angelo.

“Nope, no relation, that’s my step-brother Sebastian,” he’d told her, his gaze following Nico as he retreated into a dressing room. On another day, Leo really would have thrown his all into the grand adventures of Leo and Sebastian, struggling to get prom dates while simultaneously fighting over who their little brother liked more. Yes, on another day he would have.

But truthfully, Leo could not feel like his regular self when Nico was so utterly… _Dios,_ Leo couldn’t even find the words. His heart kind of broke for the guy.

But more than anything, Leo wondered about Jason. It unsettled Leo to see Nico in such a state. What must it be like for Jason? Jason, who Leo had watched fall so deeply, desperately, madly in love with Nico over the past few months. Jason, who looked at Nico like he was the sun, the moon, and the stars all at once. Jason, who thought with his heart in the same way most people thought with their heads.

As they drove back to Delphi, Leo watched Nico from the corner of his eye. The car would have been silent, if not for Harley between them chirping about how Jason and Nico were so much more awesome and exciting than Leo and how jealous his older brother and sister would be when they heard about this. Leo could not tell if Nico was listening at all. His eyes were focused intently on the sidewalk that ran parallel to the street, and that seemed to be all he was aware of.

 _I can’t drop him off like this,_ Leo thought.

“So, Nico, you said the funeral is tomorrow?”

“Yes, tomorrow morning. Will you come?”

He was almost startled to hear the younger teen respond, considering how far away he’d looked. It occurred to Leo suddenly that perhaps Nico was not as withdrawn from reality as he seemed. Had he just been trying to avoid conversation?  

“Yeah, of course. Have Jason send me all the details, or whatever.”

Nico nodded once. He made to turn back to the window. Leo spoke quickly, unwilling to let him hide again so easily.

“Is something up between you two?”

Nico’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you called me to come get you instead of him. And I’m not allowed to tell him I saw you today. Why?”

“I don’t know,” Nico mumbled. It sounded so clearly like a lie.

“Are you mad at him?” Leo pressed, gently but firmly.

“I don’t know!” Nico exclaimed, and this time it sounded more genuine. “Maybe a little.”

“Why?”

“Because—because—” Nico stalled suddenly, like an old manual car. “You’re his best friend, I can’t talk about him with you.”

This made Leo pause. Nico didn’t sound angry, per se. Frustrated was probably the better word. Frustrated at Leo, or maybe Jason, or maybe himself, or maybe the world.

“I wouldn’t have even called you, except I don’t have any friends of my own who would have helped me.”

Now Leo was nearly slamming on his breaks. He pulled over immediately, crossing a lane of traffic without checking his blind-spot and ignoring the numerous honks that blared from car horns behind him.

“What the fuck?” Nico complained as Leo leaned halfway across Harley and got in the younger teen’s face.

“Okay listen, Nico. You and I are friends. Real friends. Not just because Jason’s my best friend and you’re dating him. Our friendship is separate from that, understand? If you decided to break up with Jason _tomorrow,_ we’d still be friends. I’m not just pretending to like you for Jason’s sake. Now, if you don’t want to be friends, that’s fine, but if you do then cut all that shit.”

“I’m telling _Tia_ you swore, Leo,” Harley whispered. Leo ignored him. The nine year old could tell Leo’s mother anything he pleased.

Meanwhile, Nico stared at Leo in complete shock. Wide-eyed, open-mouthed, head-tilted-slightly-to-the-side shock. Then, suddenly, his demeanor shifted somewhat. If Nico was a machine—and truthfully, who _hadn’t_ Leo suspected of being a machine at some point or other—there would be gears turning in his skull right that moment. Leo saw how the gears moved, how the separate cogs made up one massively complex machine.

“Uh, yeah, okay,” he straightened up in the seat. “We’re friends. I guess.”

“Good. Now what’s going on?”

“Do you want me to spell out my last three days for you?” He said, but with no real malice. Though, Leo noticed the boy’s fists clenched at his sides. “I don’t know how people expect me to be handling things but apparently I’m letting everyone down.” He’d probably meant the words to be snappish, harsh, but the last bit of his sentence had come out about three times more complex than that. Leo imagined that if Nico’s chest suddenly opened up that days, no _months_ of feelings would suddenly come pouring out. He imagined how they currently churned inside of him, taking up entirely too much space and pressing at his insides. He wondered how much longer it would be before the finally burst free. Exploded out of him. Surely, if they stayed in much longer they would start crushing him from the inside.

“Nico, I’m sure it’s not like that. People worry about you.”

“Well _people_ should worry about themselves before they end up dead, too,” Nico mumbled, turning his back to the driver. “Take me back to Chiron’s.”

Leo—a guy of many smiles, a guy who could always be counted on to laugh and joke and make people feel better—frowned the rest of the drive, even after Nico had left.

“He’s kind of weird,” Harley commented as they arrived back at their family’s apartment.

“Yeah,” Leo ruffled his hair. “Kind of weird.”

 

…

 

“How’d it go?” Jason asked, rising suddenly to his feet when Nico pushed through the door.

“Fine,” the boy said, holding up a garment bag. “I laid low and no one said anything to me.”

“Oh,” Jason said, not quite understanding the sudden feeling that swept over him upon hearing that. He knew he should be happy, or at least relieved. Nico could just walk outside now with no looming threat of discovery. No one was coming to arrest him. He was free.

So free, apparently, that he didn’t want or need Jason around.

Maybe _that_ was what Jason was feeling. Unneeded. He’d never expected it to feel this… awful.

“I have to make sure everything is all arranged for tomorrow. Call the family and all that. Oh, and I guess I should give you this back,” Nico dropped the cell phone in Jason’s hand. “Thanks for letting me use it.”

“Sure.”

They both sounded so stiff. Two strangers conversing. It was as if Jason was only just stumbling across the beaten boy in the dark alley with steel walls built up all around him. Jason had worked so hard to get through them. He’d earned the boy’s trust, brushed his fingers over his heart. And now, without warning, he was back on the other side of those walls—only this time they were titanium.

“Nico, I—”

“Jason, I really need to make more funeral arrangements. I’m sorry. Can this wait?”

 _No. No no no it can’t. I feel like I can’t breathe. My chest is tight. My stomach is in knots. I can’t remember the last time I ate. Come back to me. Come back to me._ “Yeah, it can wait.”

“Thank you,” Nico said, leaning in as if he were going to embrace Jason, but stopping short without explanation.

“Good luck, I love you,” Jason said, reaching out with his words rather than his hands. He didn’t know why he felt the need to keep saying that damn phrase today. His feelings for Nico were the type of bruise you kept pressing on, even knowing that it would hurt. The kind of bruise you almost _wanted_ to hurt, without even really knowing why.

“I don’t know how long it will take to take care of all of this. Don’t wait up for dinner, kay?”

“I’ll just bring you a plate of food,” Jason stupidly offered. He knew the boy wouldn’t eat it. Would hardly eat anything at all.

“I’ll eat if I have time. The funeral is tomorrow. If anything, I will eat after that. It’s fine.”

“Is it?” Jason retorted, almost laughing. _I can’t believe we are like this. I can’t believe this is our reality._

Nico glared at him. “I’m the only one who can do this for her. I wouldn’t expect _you_ to understand.”

“I’ve lost a parent too, you know. I think I understand a little.”

“You’re right, you totally get me. How stupid of me.” He turned and left. Grabbed the cordless phone. Slammed the door to his and Jason’s bedroom. Jason heard the click of the lock.

“Damn it!” He cursed, slamming his fist down on the back of Chiron’s chair. “Damn it,” he slipped to his knees. “Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn.” He repeated the word until his throat choked up, and he knew any further words would release the tears he was too afraid to shed.

Chiron found him like that an hour later. “Come on Son, how about we get off the floor.”

“What’s the point? What’s the point, Chiron?”

“I need help downstairs. The carpets in the store need a vacuuming. How about you help me with that?”

Jason doubted they were truly dirty, but he was grateful for the distraction.

 

…

 

After the carpets, Chiron happened to remember that the counters in the little café needed to be wiped down. And that there were old newspapers that needed to be recycled. And that it had been a while since he’d taken inventory of the nonfiction section.

Eventually it was dark, and Jason knew there was no more work to be done. He dragged himself toward the stairs that led to Chiron’s apartment, only to find a narrow figure watching him from the base of the stairs.

Nico, of course.

Jason’s hands started to shake. He wasn’t sure why. The reality of seeing him? The desire to reach out and hold him? The desire to have him farther away?

“Hey,” Jason said softly, hesitantly.

“Chiron said you were helping him out down here,” Nico explained.

Jason nodded while he struggled to come up with an actual response. He didn’t know if he _had_ anything to say to the dark haired boy. The reality of the situation was that being around Nico made him uneasy in a way it never had before. A way he never would have imagined feeling. Not toward Nico. Never Nico. “Yeah, I, uh, just finished up.”

“I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier,” Nico murmured, barely letting Jason finish his own sentence. “I’ve just been a little stressed.”

“I know,” Jason sighed, wishing Nico’s words made him feel any relief.

“I don’t want us to be like this,” Nico held out a hand to the blond.

“I don’t either,” Jason said, carefully stretching out to take Nico’s hand in his own. It felt like Nico’s hands always had, but colder. Jason supposed that was fitting.

“Good,” Nico said, though he didn’t look any happier.

“Yeah,” Jason agreed, though he knew they were both keeping up some kind of façade. The question was—who were they pretending _for_ at this point _?_ Chrion? Others who worried about them?

Or maybe they were pretending for their own sakes, Jason realized. For their own fragile reassurance that everything would be okay again. Even if neither of them really believed it. Even if it felt like a lie. The real question was, could Jason know he was lying to himself and still manage to believe it?

Could Nico?

The boy’s hand didn’t feel so cold anymore, and Jason wondered if he had warmed it or if his hand had just adjusted to the cold. If maybe his hand was a little cold itself.

 

…

 

They’d gone to sleep carrying on the same act. Nico’s head rested on the pillow beside Jason, his back warming Jason’s chest, their legs rubbing together. But Jason hadn’t been able to lie to himself well enough. Hadn’t been able to curl his arm around Nico’s torso and pull him even closer. Normally Jason held Nico like he never wanted to let go. Tonight only his hand rested on Nico’s hips, as if he were holding on to the boy by his fingertips. No, there was no _as if._ He was holding on to Nico by his fucking fingertips.

Maybe that was why he didn’t feel it when Nico slipped out of bed that morning. If it hadn’t been for the aggressive opening and closing of drawers, Jason doubted Nico’s waking at six o’clock in the morning would have even roused him.

He groaned at the sounds, barely awake after being barely asleep for the past several hours. The bedroom light flicking on finally forced him fully awake.

“Nico, what is it?” He asked, opening his eyes and squinting into the bedroom light.

The sixteen year old stood before the mirror above the dresser, frantically attacking his hair with a pair of scissors. Hair fell around him, drifting to his feet like black feathers.

“Nico!” He gasped, flinging the blankets suddenly off of him. “What the hell are you doing?”

“My hair is too long!” Nico frantically replied, cutting off a thick chunk of dark hair. “I needed a haircut months ago and I have no time anymore! My mom hated it when I let my hair get too long, I can’t show up to her funeral like—”

Jason wrenched the scissors from his hands.

“What the fuck, Jason?” He screeched.

“What the fuck _me?_ You are destroying your hair, just look at yourself in the mirror. Get a grip for a second.”

Nico leaned forward, running his fingers through his hair. Loose strands landed on the dresser. Nico hadn’t been at it too long, but already there were pieces as sort as his chin and pieces that were cut slanted and random patches that were still long enough to nearly touch his shoulders. In the front, his hair stopped as short as his upper jaw.

“Oh,” he said. “Oh. Oh. Oh.” His breathing became increasingly uneven. It was probably the most off-kilter Jason had seen him since they returned home from the police station, but he didn’t have time to figure out what all of that could mean in the grand scheme of things. “I look like a mess. I look like a mess, I look like—fuck. Wh—why did I just do that?” He was more so gasping than breathing at this point. “Oh, oh, oh.”

“Shh, calm down, it’s okay, Nico. It’s okay.”

“No, no it’s not. I need to try and fix it. I—I can’t go this morning looking like—looking like _this._ Oh God.”

“Nico, I’m going to take care of it. Okay? Just take some slow, deep breaths. Don’t panic.”

“How can I _not_ panic?” He choked. “Jason I—I—just give me the scissors and I can try to make it look better.”

“I just said I would take care of it, okay? Go and lie back down.”

“How are you going to fix it?” He squeaked.

“I don’t know yet. Just give me a few minutes.”

Nico, miraculously, decided to listen. Well, mostly. He sat on the bed with his head between his legs and halfheartedly tried to stop hyperventilating. Jason, meanwhile, forced _himself_ to remain calm. Nico needed him to remain calm. _Think Jason, think._ What could he do at six in the morning to fix things? No hair salons would be open, and the thought of sending Nico out to a random establishment on the morning of his mother’s funeral gave Jason more anxiety than he knew how to deal with, anyway. But, well, he certainly didn’t know how to cut hair. He wished, not for the first time, that Thalia were here. She had cut her hair all the time throughout high school. Jason had always joked that if she decided to drop out of Stanford she could go to beauty school That would always make her laugh.

“Oh, please, Jay Jay,” she would snort, “I’m no beauty queen.”

_Beauty Queen._

Jason’s heart jumped in his chest. He practically sprinted out of the room.

“Jason?” Nico asked, voice still tight with panic.

“One second, keep trying to stay calm.”

The cell phone was still on the front table, where Jason had dropped it earlier after Nico returned it to him. He scooped it up and quickly selected the number off of the favorite contacts list.

The phone rang only three times, shorter than Jason was expecting considering the early hour.

“Hello?” A groggy voice answered. “Jason?”

“Piper,” said Jason, “I need your help. It’s an emergency.”

 

…

 

Piper McLean had been to Chiron’s a number of times. Or, rather, she’d been to his store. Delphi Books was one of Jason’s favorite places in New York, and for that reason it had always had a special place in her heart. It warmed her to see Jason in a place that made him so happy. He never looked that happy in his own apartment, surrounded by furniture his family used to sit on and dishes his family used to eat with and walls that his parents had once decorated together.

When Jason unlocked the door to Delphi Books on this particular chilly Saturday morning, however, he looked far from happy. It was just before six thirty in the morning and the sun had only barely risen. Piper could not remember the last time she was out so early in the morning. She hadn’t even called for Gleeson Hedge, her family’s driver, but had instead hailed a taxi to get here.

Having a famous actor for a father, Piper had seen the full stretch of things that money could, in fact, buy. It could buy luxury apartments and fancy cars and vacation homes in the Hamptons where one could drive said fancy cars and new wardrobes for every season and plane tickets for anywhere in the world at any time.

But money wasn’t everything. Piper had learned that at a young age. Money didn’t make her parents love each other. It didn’t make her mother stick around. It didn’t make her father happy—at least, not in the long run. It didn’t make Piper happy, either. For her, the real wealth in life had come from friendships, relationships, the closeness that could only be shared between two people who deeply cared for each other—or even three people. No, money couldn’t buy happiness, for happiness was worth so much more than any material item.

That morning, though, she almost wished money _could_ do such a thing. She would pay any price to see a smile on Jason’s face. To see a flicker of light in his eyes.

“Hi,” she said, offering a small wave after too many seconds of him just standing in the doorway with a lost look in his eyes.

“Hi, thanks for coming. I’m kind of—things are rough here right now. I’m sorry you had to get up and do this.”

“I didn’t have to do anything, Jase. I’m happy to help. A little nervous, though. What an awkward situation to be meeting your boyfriend,” she forced a small laugh in hopes of relieving some of the awkwardness.

“It’s just Nico,” Jason said, finally stepping aside to let her into the store. “You’ve gone to school with him for two years.”

“A year and a half is a little more accurate, don’t you think? And he wasn’t your boyfriend before.”

“Well, this might not be the best first impression, so uh, sorry.” He led her up the stairs. “This isn’t how I would have imagined things going, either. But I just woke up to him going crazy with the scissors and it kind of terrified me. I think the funeral later today is finally starting to get to him.”

“Poor guy,” Piper said, studying Jason’s back as they walked. His shoulders were so tense. If Piper were to push on one of them, she bet his arm would just snap off. She wanted to hug him, but knew that it probably wouldn’t make a difference. She’d seen him like this before. The night they went to Khione’s with Mitchell.

Something had been going on with Jason that night. Something Piper had had no knowledge about. It frustrated her to the core back then. Left her feeling hurt and unimportant and forgotten. Only recently did she understand the reality of the situation. All the pieces had fit together since then. Jason’s highs, Jason’s lows, all of his odd behavior these last months could be attributed to one person—Nico di Angelo.

She didn’t know _what_ to make of that. The fact that someone had slipped in, had become so important to Jason in such a short amount of time, was baffling to her. Piper had never felt that way about a person. She’d liked dating Jason. Liked dating Carter Kane her junior year before he’d moved. She’d never been in love, though. Love was—terrifying. She’d seen how being in love with her mother had affected her father. Seen how being in love with Jason’s father had affected Jason’s mother. And now—Jason. Would loving Nico destroy him, or rebuild him? She didn’t know. She didn’t know. She was scared to find out.

They crossed through the apartment, straight toward what was presumably Jason and Nico’s room. Piper had never been in Chiron’s apartment before. She noticed the bookseller sitting at the kitchen table, a steaming cup of coffee in his hand. He looked nearly as tired as Jason.

“Hello, Piper,” he greeted.

“Good morning, Chiron,” she replied. In truth, she felt ridiculously uncomfortable. The second she had stepped into this apartment, the entire atmosphere had changed. Piper was afraid to walk too heavily, afraid to speak above a whisper. She longed to fling open one of the living room windows and try to air out all the tension. How had the three of them been living like this?

 _Oh Jason,_ she thought as he peeked his head into the bedroom. “Hey, Nico, Piper is here. Can she come in?”

“Y—yeah, that’s okay,” a different voice answered. For some reason, that was the first time it all became real to Piper. Nico di Angelo was really here. All this time the students at their school had been speculating and gossiping endlessly and he’d been so close all along. Her heart beat rapidly. Once Nico had gone missing, never had Piper expected she would see him with her own two eyes again. He’d disappear forever, she’d thought. Or get caught and go to prison—guilty or not. Had she thought he was guilty? She couldn’t even remember anymore. Would Nico sense that about her? What would he think of her?

“You can come in, Pipes,” Jason said, motioning Piper into the room after him. She took a deep breath and followed.

Nico di Angelo sat on the bed, knees pulled up to the chest. The first thing Piper noticed about him were his eyes. Wide, afraid, and more sunken in than they were the last time Piper had seen him, just days before his sister’s murder. Piper had always thought they were black, but looking more closely, she saw that they were actually just a dark shade of brown. Something about that made him seem more normal to Piper. He was real, a human. He was just a boy.

Really, a boy. So thin and frail and white sitting there on the edge of the bed. His choppily cut hair would have looked wild, would have made _him_ look wild and intimidating, if not for the way he was so curled into himself. Hunched over himself. Trying to hide behind his own knees.

He stared at her, studied her. Piper shifted her weight between her feet uncomfortably. Perhaps she should say something first? “Hi, I’m, uh, Piper,” she said.

“I know,” Nico mumbled, and Piper nearly smacked her hand against her face. Of course he knew that. Why had she introduced herself like a complete idiot?

 _He goes to my school,_ Piper reminded herself. _Just a boy who goes to my school._

“Yeah, you’re right. You do. I’m an idiot, sorry. So… what’s new?”

Nico raised an eyebrow at her. Jason looked like he might faint. “And that wasn’t any better, was it? Damn it. Forget I’ve said anything.”

Nico smirked, and Piper nearly let out an audible sigh of relief. “I think I understand why you’re friends with Jason and Leo now.” Piper nearly had to lean forward to hear him. His voice was so quiet. A small mouse in a great field. Was Nico usually this soft spoken? Jason’s reaction indicated that he wasn’t.

“I’m usually the eloquent one, believe it or not,” she said, managing a small laugh.

“Oh, I believe it,” he allowed, peeking out from behind his legs a little further. “When I met Leo, he asked if I was going to murder him.”

“Yeah that… sounds like Leo all right.”

“So you’re going to fix my hair?” He asked, retreating a few inches back into himself.

“I’m going to try,” she said, trying for a reassuring smile. “I’m not a hair cutting expert, but I used to cut my own hair sometimes to make my father mad.”

“Okay,” Nico said, letting his legs fall flat onto the bed. He was a very hollow boy, Piper decided. From his voice to his eyes to his energy in general. Piper got the feeling that this Nico she saw was merely a spark of what he’d once been. No, not even a spark. Sparks were bright, a promise of light in the dark. Nico di Angelo felt more like a ghost, looking back on the happier days of his past but unable to reach out and grab them. Piper’s heart hurt looking at him, and she barely even knew him. No wonder Jason felt so helpless.

“I’ll get a chair from the kitchen,” Jason said, fumbling over the sentence despite its few words. Piper didn’t watch him leave. Looking at him hurt even more than looking at Nico. She tried to keep smiling anyway.

“You don’t need to pretend when Jason isn’t in here,” Nico told her.

“Pretend what?”

“To be happy. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?”

Her shoulders slumped. “You sound like you know.”

“Sometimes I think it’s all I know,” Nico whispered.

Jason returned and Piper smiled again. She was shocked when Nico did too.

“Okay, McLean, fix me up.”

 _Oh Nico,_ Piper thought, taking the scissors into her hand in a trance-like state. _I wish I could. For Jason’s sake._

_And for your own._

The next twenty minutes were filled with only gentle hair snipping sounds and three people breathing. Jason watched Nico’s reflection intently in the mirror, but did not lower his eyes to look at the boy directly. Nico’s stare was almost completely blank—whatever was currently occupying his mind a complete mystery to all. And Piper—Piper hoped neither of them noticed the single tear roll down her cheek as she finished Nico’s hair.

Jason Grace and Nico di Angelo. What would become of them?

Her best friend—a boy she loved—and his boyfriend—a boy he loved.

She couldn’t help but worry that the two were spiraling towards disaster. And that nothing—not her or Thalia or Leo or Chiron or all the money in the world—would be able to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY I ANGSTED ALL OVER THIS CHAPTER. Actually, I am not that sorry. Angst can be a pain to write, but it is also a lot of fun to write as well. I'm sure my fellow writers understand. As you can see, Nico and Jason are deteriorating more and more as time goes on. Next chapter is the funeral, so things can ONLY get more interesting from here!
> 
> Since I originally planned to have the funeral in this chapter (it KEEPS getting pushed back) I am going to update this again before I get back to WYLEI. I feel so bad for WYLEI sometimes, lol. I feel like it never gets as much of my attention as it deserves. But we are getting towards the end of this story and I really want to see it end before next August, when it would turn 3 years old! 
> 
> As always, I love hearing what you all think. No, really, your comments means the world to me. Every time I get a comment, it motivates me to drop what I am doing and just WRITE. Keep it up and maybe I will make miracles happen and get the next chapter out in a reasonable amount of time. Lol! Well, till next time! À Bientôt !


	29. Morning Light (A Time For Mourning)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to waste too much time talking BEFORE the chapter so let me just say 2 things real quick!
> 
> 1-This is easily the longest chapter to date, I didn't have the heart to split it up into two smaller chapters, deal with it.
> 
> 2- DISCLAIMER: I have actually never been to a funeral so I try to keep the event as vague as possible in this chapter, sorry if it is all totally wrong!

The morning of Maria di Angelo's funeral was overwhelmingly sunny.

By the time Jason walked Piper out, at only eight in the morning, the sun was already beaming boldly down into the city. Jason felt as if nature itself was taunting him. Of course it would storm on the best night of his life—a night that had happened in this very bookshop—and be perfectly bright on what would probably go down in history as one of the worst. Jason stood on the sidewalk and squinted into the bright morning for nearly ten minutes after Piper’s cab had disappeared around the corner.

 _“I know you aren’t doing too hot right now,”_ Piper had said before stepping into the taxi. _“But try not to think about it too much today. This day is very important for Nico. Maybe he can finally get the closure he needs, yeah?”_

God, Jason hoped so.

As uncomfortable as the daylight was, Jason had mixed feelings about the kind of environment he’d be walking back into up in the apartment. Nico this morning had been a massive headache for Jason. The fact that Nico could flip from catatonic to casual to aggressive to manic with almost no warning was complicated enough, but even worse was that Jason got the feeling that Nico wasn’t the one flicking the switch. It was possible that there were still a plethora of emotions swirling within Nico, and that he wasn’t the empty shell Jason had feared, but the emotions were all like people in the street rushing by Nico while he stood completely still, and every now and then one of these people would roughly shove him in some direction, only for him to regain his footing almost immediately.

Each time, however, left Nico slightly more battered and bruised than before.

What could he do for him? Would settling Nico into one emotion help the boy to get a grip on his feelings, or would that single feeling consume him instead? If Nico embraced all the feelings at once, would he be stampeded over? Crushed beyond saving? If he embraced none of them?

Jason shivered.

As Jason finally made the trek back up the stairs to the apartment, he admitted to himself that he actually had no idea what to expect of Nico next. On the one hand, any sort of emotional response from the boy was better than nothing at all, but the uncertainty was not much better. In this reactant state, it was impossible for Jason to tell what words or actions would send Nico hurdling off in a different direction, and then the boy would be gone before Jason could even raise his arm to pull him back.

 _There has to be something I can do for him,_ he thought. _Something that can make him feel even a little bit more grounded._

He found Nico in their bedroom, watching his reflection while he did up his black button-up shirt.

“Your buttons are one off,” Jason noticed, sitting carefully on the edge of their bed.

“Of course they are,” he mumbled, tugging the shirt apart. Jason was surprised when none of the buttons went flying off. “Did Piper leave?”

“Yeah, she just did,” he said, eyeing Nico’s freshly cut hair. It was startling to see so little of it. It made him look a little younger, Jason realized.

Just last night, the boy’s dark locks had nearly been reaching his shoulders. Just last week, Jason had been able to bury his hands in Nico’s hair. Now he could probably barely tangle his fingers in it. Not like touching Nico had been the number one thing on his mind lately.

At least now Nico looked _and_ felt unfamiliar to Jason. Somehow, it made looking at him more and less painful all at once. He was still handsome. So attractive that, in another reality, nothing would have stopped Jason from pulling Nico down into the bed with him right then.

In this reality, he balled his fingers in the comforter instead. His knuckles whitened from the force of it.

“She’s nice,” Nico commented, starting again on the buttons.

“Meeting her definitely went better than when you met Leo for the first time,” Jason said, aiming for humor.

“Amazing what not being a wanted criminal can do for your reputation,” Nico said, his voice low like a whisper, but deeper. Jason shuddered.

“Well, that’s—”

“Fuck!” Nico cursed, his voice so much louder than it had been a moment ago that Jason jumped. “I can’t get these fucking buttons. My hands are shaking.” He turned to Jason. “Can you, um… Can you…?”

“Yeah, come here,” Jason nodded, hoping that his own hands weren’t shaking. That would surely add to the stress that was clearly already weighing heavily on Nico.

Nico moved to stand before Jason, and the blond rose cautiously to his feet. He and Nico were standing—more or less—eye to eye for the first time in several days. Jason could feel Nico’s breath on his face. He tried not to think about the proximity as he started to work on the buttons, making sure three times that he was pairing them up correctly.

“There,” Jason said when he was certain he’d done it the right way, “Perfect.”

“Jason,” Nico whispered in a thin voice. The younger boy leaned forward till his forehead rested against the blond’s chest and he sucked in a deep, shaky breath. Jason expected him to say more, but of course he didn’t.

Hesitantly, Jason wrapped his arms around the boy and pulled him into a hug. A real, squeezing hug. “Don’t let go,” Nico pleaded into Jason’s chest. The blond held him tighter. It didn’t matter how the embrace made Jason feel. It didn’t matter if he was still confused and hurting and afraid. Nico wanted Jason to hold him, so Jason would hold him until his damn arms fell off without a questioning word.

“I’m here,” he reassured softly. “I’m here with you, okay?”

Nico nodded, a shuttering exhale releasing from his chest. The boy was practically gasping into Jason’s shirt. If the fabric didn’t stay completely dry, Jason might have believed that Nico was crying. When he withdrew from Jason a few minutes later, he looked oddly composed. “Thank you,” he said. “Today is going to be... a day.”

“I’ll stay with you the whole time, if you want me to.”

Nico nodded again, looking like maybe he was thinking of burrowing himself back in Jason’s chest. Jason would have let him, too.

_He needs closure today. Any amount would be better than this._

“We should get ready. Our ride will be here at nine.”

 

…

 

Jason and Nico had been given a police escort for the funeral. No one had told them who exactly the boys needed protecting from, if anyone, but Jason supposed it was for the best. The cop, a man in his late thirties, seemed friendly enough. He was serious, but not unkind, and he did not look at Nico like he was expecting the boy to start murdering people. And yet, Jason was somewhat put off by the man’s presence. Perhaps the last few months of conditioning to fear only one thing—one man—above the authorities hadn’t quite worn off. No one was going to arrest Nico, he knew that. But just a few weeks ago they would have. Odd that now they had sent a guy to protect the same teen they’d been trying to capture and throw in prison.

In addition to the cop, they had a driver who was meant to transport them to the funeral—where Nico would have to face dozens of friends and family members, some of which he had not seen in several months—and to the actual burial after, which only a few people would be attending. Chiron sat in the front seat with the driver, dressed in a black suit Jason had never seen. Granted, he didn’t think he’d ever seen the man in a suit at all. The cop sat in the back seat, on the other side of Nico. He was briefing Nico on what to expect when they arrived at the church, or something like that. Unsurprisingly, the media had managed to catch wind of Maria’s funeral, and the probability of reporters waiting outside was high. There would, however, be more cops there as well, trying to keep all of the commotion away. Nico looked as if he was barely listening. He stared down at his knees and barely moved the entire drive. When it got to be too hard to look at him, Jason turned to watch the outside world through the tinted car window instead. It didn’t help him feel much better, though. Jason could claw out his own eyes and he would still be able to see that horribly hollow look in Nico’s eyes.

After what could have been five or forty-five minutes, the car slowed down outside of a church. Jason had obviously never been there, but it appeared that Nico had. Jason’s stomach dropped as he realized how close they were to Nico’s old apartment. Nico, looking up for the first time, turned his gaze to the church as well. His fingers fumbled across the seat to gently brush Jason’s. Hesitantly, Jason took Nico’s hand. Was that what Nico wanted?

Judging by the small jolt of surprise that coursed through the younger boy, Jason guessed the answer was no. Though, Nico did not actually pull away, so perhaps he didn’t mind after all.

“You ready?” he whispered to the boy beside him.

“No,” Nico admitted. “But let’s do this.” The car came to a full stop, and Jason saw that the police officer had been right—the press were all over the sidewalk, with a number of cops trying to keep them at bay. Jason’s mouth went dry. While reporters had been there the night of Maria’s death, Jason had been too overwhelmed by everything else to notice them. And, well, while Jason was certainly overwhelmed that morning as well, it was impossible not to notice the cameras. People waiting to see Nico, too see Jason too, perhaps.

The police officer opened the car door, and the sounds of the outside world spilled into the vehicle like a tidal wave. Nico went rigid—so much so that Jason could no longer feel blood circulating to his fingers. With a little prodding from the cop, Nico slid across the seat and stepped into the morning, dragging Jason after him.

When the reporters saw Nico and Jason, there was an uproar. With so many voices speaking at once, all Jason could make out was the scattered shouting of his and Nico’s names. Flashes blinded Jason, video cameras frantically captured all they could. Jason kept his head down and let the cop shuffle him and Nico down the strip of cleared sidewalk into the church. He thought Chiron was following right behind them, but would not dare to look back. If Jason had to look at the cameras more than necessary, he thought he might scream.

_This is a fucking funeral! Show some respect._

Within the minute, they were inside the church and the doors shut firmly behind them. Jason released a small sigh of relief. Then, remembering what being inside meant, all of that relief seeped out of him.

Getting by the press had been the easy part of Jason’s day. What was to come would be far, far harder.

 

…

 

“I didn’t think they would come,” Nico mumbled, more to himself than to Jason. The service would be beginning in the next ten minutes or so, and Nico had mostly been clinging to Jason and trying not to look at the people _he_ invited to be here. Nico had invited them because he thought it was what his mother wanted, Jason realized. He never would have chosen to surround himself with so many familiar faces.

Hazel had already come over to see them, her mother standing silently off to the side with poorly concealed aversion. She didn’t seem to care much whether Nico was okay or Maria was dead. According to Hazel, her father would also be going to trial for his part in the so-called “family business.” Maybe that was why Marie appeared almost bitter. Maria had known her husband was a monster, but how had Marie felt about hers?

They’d talked briefly to Leo, too, who Jason hadn’t seen since the police station. Leo tried to smile and be upbeat, but something in the way he kept looking between Jason and Nico hinted at his true feelings, _whatever_ they were. That didn’t sit well with Jason. No one expected Leo to try to keep things lighthearted at something as bleak as a funeral, so why did he try to force it?

Unfortunately, Jason did not have enough space inside of him to start worrying about Leo too. Leo would be fine. Leo was always fine, in the end. _Right?_

Jason scanned the room to see who Nico could be referring to now. Most of the faces in the church were unfamiliar to him. He followed Nico’s gaze to an older couple who had just entered the space. The man was white-haired—despite the fact that he probably was only a few years older than Chiron—and his skin was nearly as bleached, which contrasted impressively with his black suit. The woman beside him was perhaps a few years younger, and her hair was as black as midnight.

“Who are they?” Jason asked, leaning into to say the words right in Nico’s ear. It struck him again how odd it was to see Nico with short hair. To see his ears at all. To see him in a situation where he knew people that Jason did not. Their world was completely inverted.

“That’s Hades’ aunt,” Nico explained, and it didn’t slip past Jason how he did not call Hades his father, “Nyx, and her husband. They live upstate. Didn’t even answer the phone yesterday so I just left a message. I haven’t seen them in… years.”

“Wait, related to Hades?”

“Nyx separated herself from the family when I was a kid. She was the youngest of her siblings. She had a falling out with her older brother, my grandfather, before I was even born and things have been strained between her and the rest of the family since then. But, I mean… she always liked my mother so I…” He said nothing else.

Nyx and the man, who had stopped to talk to Hazel and a displeased Marie, started toward Jason and Nico. Jason heard the boy gulp, and his heart fractured a little further. He tore his hand away from Jason’s, but the blond said nothing. Jason tried not to take it personally. Just because all of New York had probably come to the conclusion that he and Jason were together romantically, didn’t mean Nico was comfortable with it. If Nico didn’t want to talk about it or act like it in front of others (especially if those others were family members who had known him all his life), Jason didn’t blame him. Hell, if Jason’s grandmother or aunts knew the promiscuous things he had been getting up to the last few months. Wait, shit, how many members of his family had likely tried to call him on his broken cell phone? Had called Thalia? Jason filed that concern away for later.

“There’s my favorite great-nephew,” the man said, a genuine smile lighting his face. “Or at least, I think that’s my nephew? Where is the puny little eight year old?”

“Hey Uncle Bob. I’m your only great-nephew, by the way.”

“Are you?” Jason didn’t know if the man was still teasing him, or if this fact genuinely confused him.

“Jason, this is my aunt and uncle, Nyx and Iapetus. Aunt Nyx, Uncle Bob, this is my—um, this is Jason.”

“Hello Jason,” Iapetus said, extending a pale hand to the blond.

“How do you get Bob from Iapetus?” Jason asked, trying to maintain a relaxed posture. He’d never met any member of Nico’s family during a circumstance that wasn’t so high-stakes. Never met them with Nico right beside him, looking up at him with nervous eyes.

“I couldn’t say Iapetus when I was three,” Nico supplied softly, his eyes falling to the ground instead. Jason noticed that Nyx had not said anything yet. She did not greet Jason or shake his hand.

“Thank you both for coming. I know it would… mean a lot… to my mother,” he said.

“I am sure it would have,” Nyx said, the words coming out almost sternly, as if she were teaching Sunday school to a group of children. “Maria was a very generous and kind woman.”

“Yeah,” Nico nodded, looking up only half an inch.

“And we’re glad that you are okay. That, um, both of you boys are okay,” Iapetus said, nodding at Jason since Nico would not look at him. “You are okay, yes?” Again, the man seemed mildly confused, like maybe Jason and Nico weren’t really there. Jason wondered if maybe it was Iapetus who was a little… not all there. He turned up the brightness on his smile to disguise the confusion.

“We’re alive,” Nico answered, meeting his uncle’s eyes for a short moment.

“Good, good,” Iapetus nodded.

“The family keeps getting smaller,” Nyx said. “Hopefully us survivors can manage to make it through a few months without incident.”

Nico cringed, his eyes slipping back to the floor. Jason realized then that he needed to get Nico away from this conversation at the nearest possible second. The entrance of a familiar black-haired teenager and a middle-aged couple was a weight being lifted from his chest.

“Nico!” he blurted before Nyx could say anything else, “Percy and his family just got here. We should go say hello, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, yeah sure,” Nico said, the darkness falling off of him just as quickly as it had come. “Good talking to you guys,” he said fleetingly to Nyx and her husband. Then he let Jason drag him away.

“Thank you,” he breathed.

“Your aunt seems sort of, cold?” Jason noted.

“She’s a di Angelo,” Nico said, as if it explained everything. Perhaps it did. Percy noticed them only a moment later, so the conversation had no chance to continue.

“Guys!” he called, doing an awkward half-jog-half-walk toward the approaching couple. “Man, am I glad to see both of you are okay. I mean, physically okay. I mean, mostly.”

Almost instinctively, Jason’s fingers tugged at his collar right over his bandage. If he pressed down on it, he could remember the edge of the knife. “Yeah, mostly,” he said, aiming for humor and missing it by several city blocks.

Their trio turned into a small group with the arrival of Percy’s parents. Well, his mother Sally and step-father Paul Blowfis—a man who also happened to be Jason’s AP English teacher. Jason had never met Sally, but Mr. Blowfis had been grading Jason’s essays and lecturing on books Jason had stopped bothering to read for nearly a year now. He was pretty cool, though Jason hoped he never caught on to the bit about Jason ceasing to do the assigned reading. Sally Blowfis, on the surface, looked only mildly similar to her son. Her hair was a dark shade of brown, whereas Percy’s was completely black, and her eyes were blue rather than green, but they had the same aura of kindness around them, and Jason trusted her immediately.

“Hello boys,” she said, stepping up beside Percy. “Nico, we’re so glad to see you’re all right.”

“Hi Miss Sally,” Nico greeted shyly, moving a hair closer to Jason. Jason realized he was still holding Nico’s hand from leading him across the room, and he squeezed it then. Nico didn’t pull away. “Hi Mr. Blowfis.”

“Hi Nico, Jason,” Mr. Blowfis nodded at each boy.

“Wait, I didn’t get a greeting!” Percy said.

“You don’t stop talking long enough to allow for one,” Nico half-heartedly remarked.

“Yes, Percy’s quite talkative,” Sally commented, “unless he is lying to his mother and letting her worry herself sick over certain people’s whereabouts,” she shot her son a disapproving look.

“I’m sorry,” said Nico. “That’s mainly my fault.”

“Oh, nothing at all is your fault, dear,” Sally dismissed. “And we’re so genuinely sorry to hear about your mother. First Bianca, and now this. It’s been a hard few months.”

“Yeah, that’s one way to put it,” he blew out a breath and snuck a quick glance at Jason. Jason thought of smiling, or nodding, or squeezing his hand again, but before he could come up with anything the moment was gone and Nico was looking back at Percy’s family.

“Jason,” Mr. Blowfis said, “I heard about all you did to help Nico. The fact that you have had all of this on your plate and still managed to keep your grades up… Percy can barely make a B in my class and he has a live-in tutor.”

“I do the assigned reading!” Jason blurted like an idiot. Apparently all of his brain power was going toward bigger issues today than his English teacher knowing he was slacking off.

Mr. Blowfis laughed. “I’ll go ahead and believe that, for my own sake. Piper has a whole list of it for you whenever you come back, I’m afraid.”

Jason blinked, trying to spare every square inch of brain space to process his teacher’s words. Back? To where, school? Jason knew he needed to go back at some point, technically. He couldn’t just drop out less than two months before graduation. But still, how could he think about going back to school with the Nico situation still so up in the air? They were at his boyfriend’s mom’s funeral, for God’s sake.

“Whenever that may be,” Jason said, using his free hand to card his fingers through his hair.

“You’re coming back, right?” Percy asked, eyebrows raised.

“Of course I am,” Jason told him, feeling too many eyes on him at once.

“I’m not,” Nico whispered. “Not to that school.” This was news to Jason, but also not a big surprise. They could add it to the ever-growing list of things to discuss later.

“Where have you boys been staying?” Sally asked, disrupting Jason’s thoughts. “Not at your apartment I hope, Jason.”

“We’ve been in Chiron Brunner’s extra room,” Jason said, slouching into himself a little. “He owns the bookstore I work at.”

“I see,” she pursed her lips. “I wish we had room for you two. You can’t go back and stay with your mother, Jason. And Nico, you—”

“I’m meeting with Beryl Grace on Monday,” Chiron’s voice declared, and suddenly the man was beside Jason and Nico. “They’re transferring her from the hospital to a rehab facility upstate, and she’s going to sign over custody of Jason to me before she leaves.”

Jason shot up straight. “Wait, what?”

“I was going to tell you tonight, actually,” Chiron admitted. “I just got confirmation this morning that it was going to happen, but I have been talking to lawyers for the last several days. Mrs. Blowfis is right, you need somewhere to stay while you finish high school. You won’t have to worry about that now.”

Jason’s heart felt as if it was expanding in his chest. Chiron was going to become Jason’s guardian? Here Jason had worried that the man was being so inconvenienced by the boys’ presence, but he’d apparently been wrong. Chiron wanted Jason to stay with him. He wanted to keep him. Jason felt closer to crying than he had in days.

Relief. Relief. Relief.

A crushing pain resonated through Jason’s fingers, and he looked down to find a smaller, white-knuckled hand clutching them tightly. The relief dissipated immediately. Chiron had spoken of Jason only. What about—

“What about Nico?” he said before he could even finish the thought in his mind. The boy in question looked like a deer in headlights.

A sad smile overtook the man’s face. “Ah, I’m still working on that,” he admitted. He lowered his gaze to meet Nico’s nervous wide-eyed stare, “We’ll talk about it this evening. Nico’s situation is more complicated, I’m afraid. I am trying, though.”

“It’s okay,” Nico whispered, no longer looking at any one. Jason’s felt as if someone had just drop-kicked him off the Statue of Liberty. For days, he had clung to only one thought—that at least, through all of this, he and Nico were together. As long as they were together, Jason thought maybe they could make it through all of this. But this was the real world now, and Nico wasn’t his at all. Jason had no claim to him. No way of physically keeping this sixteen year old boy at his side. What would they do with him, once the cops and the court and all the lawyers had enough time to focus on him? Would he be sent away to go live with Marie, a woman who clearly did not like him? Or Nyx, who lived hours away? Would any of them claim him? They… they couldn’t put him in foster care, right? Not if Chiron was willing to take him? Would they give custody of Nico to a man who he had only known for a few weeks? What other relatives, possibly worldwide, could they try to send Nico to? Jason would not let them rip Nico away from him. He’d sooner die. No way in hell would anyone split them apart. He’d follow Nico anywhere, without a second thought. Nico needed him. Nico needed him. Nico _needed_ him.

_I need him._

“I was going to go talk to Leo,” Percy interrupted, and Jason nearly hugged the dark-haired boy then. A distraction was more than just welcome, it was essential. “You guys want to go find him, or something?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jason nodded, even though they had talked to Leo already not fifteen minutes ago. “That sound good, Nico?”

The boy nodded, eyes distant. His heart, his mind, his stare were all so far away that it made it seem wrong that his body should be so physically close. He wanted _all_ of Nico with him.

Then again, if the law chose to intervene, maybe the physical closeness was on the verge of disappearing too. Maybe Jason should just be glad to have Nico’s hand in his for the time being. He didn’t need circulation in his fingers, he needed Nico with him. If he had the body, surely he could call the rest of the boy back to it. Surely.

Right?

 

…

 

“And here we thought Percy kept going to your store to see Annabeth,” Sally Blowfis said to the bookseller as the three teenagers disappeared into the growing assembly of people.

“Jason and Nico haven’t been with me long,” Chiron clarified, watching how Nico clung to Jason. His frown deepened. The boys would not handle separation well. Chiron knew that, but would Nico’s social worker? Chiron hadn’t had a chance to see her yet. They’d all been giving Nico a few days to grieve, to bury his mother, to re-adjust to life out of hiding. Monday would be different. The next week, the next month, so much was uncertain. “They were at Jason’s apartment until his mother saw Nico, to my understanding. Nico was just supposed to be staying in my spare room for a week, but then the day he was supposed to return to Jason’s… well…”

“That woman, Jason’s mother, I hope she finally gets some help. I dated an alcoholic once, when Percy was younger. Kids shouldn’t be exposed to that. Not that Jason is exactly a kid anymore…”

“I’ve met her once,” Chiron shared. “Once, in the years I have known Jason.” He sighed. “If his sister Thalia were here, I’m sure they would have tried to give her full custody of him. They won’t bother at this point though, with her on the other side of the country and Jason so close to turning eighteen. Nico still has two, really two and a half, years of school left, so that won’t play as much of a factor.”

“He’s sixteen though. The court will take his own wishes into account, won’t they?”

“I—I’m not sure. I hope so, for the boys’ sakes. I fear for the judge who tries to split _them_ apart.”

“Jason Grace and Nico di Angelo,” exclaimed Paul Blowfis, “I never would have imagined.”

“Well, Jason’s full of surprises.”

 

…

 

Nico knew his friends were talking. Lips were moving and heads were nodding and looks were exchanged, paired with hand gestures and pursed lips. Presumably, they were carrying on a conversation. That was probably a safe bet, Nico thought.

What they were saying, however, he had no clue. Sounds bubbled from their mouths but formed no words in Nico’s mind. It was as if the background noise from the rest of the church had become one big mass of sound, and each individual voice had lost all distinguishable qualities. Each word spoken immediately entered the mush, illegible from the moment it was uttered.

There was so much sound. So many people were talking. All around him, voices. Perhaps some were saying his name—whispering about the poor essentially-orphaned boy at his mother’s funeral, or were reminiscing about Nico’s mother. An angel gone too soon, they would say, called back to heaven to serve her “greater purpose.” Nico hated that kind of funeral talk, hated every moment of it, and was glad that he couldn’t hear clearly.

That didn’t erase the fact that the cacophony of voices had spiked Nico’s anxiety exponentially. So much sound. If his brain could lose the power to process words, why could his ears not lose their ability to hear at all. He wanted to throw his hand down on a mute button that could silence every sound within a two mile radius. How could anyone think with all the noise roaring in their ears?

And Nico _needed_ to think. Needed to do more than that. He was expected to speak during the service. To say words to all of these people, talk about his mother in a way that _wa_ s genuine, since no one else would. Was it possible to speak if he couldn’t hear the words leave his mouth? Surely he’d spoken enough times in his life to go based off of muscle memory at this point?

Only, nothing was muscle memory about speaking in front of a large group of people. Nico got choked up giving presentations in front of classes of his peers.

Chiron’s words, the last thing he had clearly understood, didn’t help ease his nerves either. His situation was “more complicated” than Jason’s. An alcoholic mother could sign away custody of her child no problem, a dead one could not. Maybe they would just lock Nico up in prison too, so his father could continue to look after him. Maybe they would put him in some strange home with strange people. Maybe he’d be sent out of the state to live with relatives who hated him

These were the kinds of things that sixteen year old boys with no real family got to deal with. Nico wanted to crawl into a casket of his own.

 _Think of that tomorrow, or you’ll never make it through today,_ he told himself. He had to at least make it through one more day. His mother surely deserved that much.

Nico felt eyes on him, and looked up to find Leo staring. At first, for a panicked moment, Nico thought that maybe the boy had addressed him out loud and Nico had just missed it. However, upon seeing Percy and Jason were still talking, he figured that this was not the case. Leo was merely looking at him, trying to communicate silently. Though he would rather be left alone altogether, Nico appreciated the silent part of Leo’s attempt. He could probably say more to Leo with a look than any actual words at the moment.

 _How do you feel?_ Leo’s eyes seemed to say.

Nico presumed that the dead look in his own eyes gave the other boy all the answer he needed.

Leo snuck a glance Jason’s way, then looked pointedly back at Nico. Nico knew that Leo probably felt guilty about the suit shopping incident the previous day. About withholding information from Jason. Well, unfortunately for Leo, Nico did not have time to think about the one little secret of Leo picking Nico up yesterday. There were much bigger things he was keeping from Jason, after all, and the Leo thing was only the tip of the iceberg. Leo should have been thanking his fucking lucky stars that that was the only secret he had to keep from the blond idiot that mattered so much to the both of them.

“think… things… soon” Nico heard Percy say, missing the connecting words that would link the sentence together and give it meaning. Still, being able to make out any words at all was progress, right? He could give a speech of key words.

A mother. Good woman. Caring. Compassionate. Patient. Gentle. Murdered. Murdered.

Percy and Leo had disappeared.

_Murdered. Murdered. She was murdered._

In his narrowing periphery, Nico saw Jason glance over his shoulder.

_Compassionate. Mother. Nurturing. Loving. Murdered._

Jason’s entire body had turned. Was he talking to someone? Nico could almost make out his voice.

_A good woman. Murdered._

_My mother loved me but she was murdered._

Jason _was_ speaking. Nico could hear the familiarity of his voice. Nico’s ears popped and the world came crashing back in.

“I didn’t think you’d show,” he said. Nico didn’t have time to be confused before a second voice answered him.

“I didn’t think you’d call.”

Nico knew the voice like he knew the feeling of being kicked in the gut, and it felt nearly as painful to hear. It couldn’t be—it couldn’t be—

Only it _could_ be and he turned and it was.

Luke Castellan. Nearly two years since Nico had heard his voice, over a year since Nico had seem him in the street and watched him from a distance (That had been the only time he’d seen the result of his and Nico’s relationship). But now it was directly in front of him, more clear than it had been when glimpsed from a distance. The scar. The scar the scar the scar. Nico saw the flash of the pocket knife under the street light. Heard Luke sobbing, pleading. Screaming. Because of Nico. Because of Nico di Angelo.

Another person he had ruined.

But… why was he _here?_

“Hi, Nico,” Luke Castellan said shyly, a nervous, almost awkward smile twitching at his lips.

Nothing made sense.

 _“I didn’t think you’d show.”_ Jason had said.

 _“I didn’t think you’d call.”_ Luke had replied.

Show? Call? Nico looked at Jason, who was looking at Nico, and then back to Luke, who was also looking at Nico. Two blond boys, alike in some ways, but different in countless others. Two blond boys from two different times, two different worlds, two different Nico di Angelos.

They looked at each other, and then back to Nico—who now felt fourteen and sixteen all at once. The boys were so separate, so _apart,_ that seeing them both at once was something that Nico hadn’t even thought to imagine before. It was an impossibility. Jason hadn’t existed when Nico knew Luke and Luke wasn’t supposed to exist now, in this era of Jason and dead family.

And they… they knew each other?

A hundred a thousand a million questions sprang forth onto Nico’s tongue. Aloud, he said “Luke?”

Said, perhaps, was too strong a word. He muttered it, he whispered it, he breathed it. His mouth formed the word.

“You look so grown up,” Luke said, and the lack of hatred in his eyes had Nico too perplexed to speak. If he’d ever even dared to imagine running into Luke again, it certainly would have involved anger and yelling. “It’s been… a long time.”

“Luke,” he said it again, as if speaking the name aloud would magically make everything make sense. “How are you—why are you—what are you doing here?”

“I can leave, if you want. I just—I wanted to pay my respects and—”

“I invited him,” Jason said, surprising Nico further even though he surely should have been at his limit by that point. “I hope that is okay.”

“I’m genuinely surprised you did. I kind of figured you’d hate me, Jason Grace.”

“Well that’s not giving either of us enough credit, is it?”

“Jason,” Nico interrupted, trying to reach out to the ends of his brain and pull a few coherent thoughts together, “invited you? Here? How do you _know_ each other?”

Jason took a deep breath, “Okay, long story short, don’t be mad—”

“You always say that before you say something that makes me get mad,” Nico noted, anxiety sending shivers through his whole body. Could Nico fit anger inside of him this morning, on top of everything else?

“I know, I know,” Jason pushed his fingers through his hair, making Nico even more tense. Luke, however, seemed only mildly uncomfortable and uncertain about the situation. Nico stopped looking at Luke. It was easier to breathe if he pretended the second blond wasn’t there. “When you were staying at Chiron’s, and I was still at the apartment, I… tracked down Luke.”

It was obvious. It was the only explanation that made sense. That didn’t make it easier to hear.

“Of course you did,” he mumbled, wishing he had the energy to sound angrier. Later. Later he would.

“Jason, or well, he told me his name was John at the time,” Luke contributed, “caught me completely off guard. He called to meet with me about attending NYU, and then within two minutes he was telling me how he knew about what had happened with… with you.” Luke angled the scarred side of his face slightly away from the group. Nico considered running away.

“I was trying to see if he could help. I know, _I know,_ you’d told me not to,” Jason said, “But things were looking pretty bleak for us so…”

“What a dead end I turned out to be,” Luke lamented, looking down. “I told Jason I didn’t want to be involved. It was like two summers ago all over again and I was just as useless as I was back then. I’m sorry, Nico. I hope you don’t hate me.”

Nico’s feet moved forward on their own accord. He stopped less than a foot away from Luke. “ _You’re_ sorry?” He flung a hand up in the air, indicating the scarred side of Luke’s face. “What the—what the hell do _you_ have to be sorry for? My father almost—he could have—you could have—and you want to know if _I_ hate _you?_ ”

The thought was even more ridiculous than Nico’s sudden realization that his and Luke’s height difference had lessened over the past two years.

“Well, yeah. I should have told the police the truth about who attacked me back when it happened, but I was afraid of what would happen to me… even though you were going through stuff that was so much worse. If I would have known what would happen to you, to your mother, to _Bianca…_ ”

“Leo says you went to the police Wednesday on your own accord, the second you heard about them taking Nico and me into custody,” Jason said, though Nico had nearly forgotten the other blond was there. “That’s no small thing to do, you know.”

Nico looked over his shoulder at Jason. There was more space between them than there was between Nico and Luke, and for a moment Nico nearly stepped back to correct that. Instead, however, he stepped to the side, creating more space between himself and the both of them. If either of them reached out, now, there fingers would not be able to reach Nico. He liked it that way. He couldn’t imagine being touched right now.

“I wish I’d gone sooner. Maybe it would have… I don’t know… maybe it could have made a difference.”

As his mind caught up to the conversation, Nico had to choke back a laugh. Guilt over what happened had weighed on Nico since he was fourteen years old. He’d woken up in the night countless times, sick to his stomach with images of Luke bleeding against the door of his car etched into his brain. And Luke… Luke felt guilty… about not helping _Nico._

It was probably the most Luke Castellan thing Nico had heard in his whole life.

“I’m going to give you two a minute. The service is going to start soon. I’ll be in front, Nico” Jason said, looking meaningfully at Nico and then stepping away. Nico only watched him go for a few seconds before turning back to Luke. It wasn’t so much a courtesy as it was forcing Nico into a conversation.

 _If you’re going through hell…_ he took a deep breath. Talk to Luke Castellan on the morning of his mother’s funeral. Sure, he could do this.

“I never expected you to put yourself out there like that. I’d never hate you for that.”

“But you thought I would hate you for something bad that you had no control over happening to me?”

“No control over? My father did this,” he indicated the scar again because it was easier than verbally acknowledging it, “to you, because of me. You never would have gotten hurt if not for me. You didn’t know what you were getting yourself into.”

“If you really blame yourself for everyone your father has hurt, then he’s won. You get that, right? None of this is your fault. Not me. Not Bianca. Not your Mom.”

Nico found that more than a little hard to believe, considering they were at the funeral of Nico’s mother, who had been murdered as a way to hurt Nico.  

When Nico didn’t respond, Luke asked, “Does Jason blame you for pulling him into everything?”

“No… but he doesn’t count.”

“Why is that?”

“Because he’s an idiot.”

Luke smiled. “I think he’s a pretty good guy. Way better for you than I ever could have been. He’s crazy brave, isn’t he?”

“Crazy something,” Nico sighed.

“Look, we don’t have to talk about everything right now. I know you have a lot on your mind at the moment. But, since I don’t hate you, and you don’t seem to hate me, maybe we could hang out sometime? We have about two years worth of stuff to talk about.”

Nico felt lighter and heavier at the same time. He’d never dreamed of a life where he and Luke could be friends again, but what cost had it come at? No mother, no sister, no real home. What did Nico really have anymore? A boyfriend, a second cousin, a temporary guardian, and a couple of friends who only knew he’d existed because of Jason or Bianca?

Luke Castellan was the first friend Nico di Angelo had ever made all on his own, without any help from others. He was arguably the only one, since the second occurrence of such an event had been Jason, and “friend” wasn’t nearly the right word to assign to Jason Grace.

What would it be like to have Luke back in his life?

 _No, too far into the future._ Nico thought, filing it away with the several thousand other things he would think about later.

“Yeah, that would maybe be nice,” Nico answered as noncommittally as possible.

At his words, Luke flashed Nico a smile that was so incredibly _Luke_ that Nico felt a sort of vertigo. How could this morning be any stranger? “Okay. Cool. Great.”

“I should go—”

“Sit down, yeah. I got it. Me too.”

“I’ll see you around, I guess?”

“Yeah. Yeah.”

Nico turned to walk away, barely aware of his surroundings. Maybe he should have eaten breakfast, for now he felt on the verge of fainting.

“Nico, one more thing,” Luke said, stopping the boy with only his voice. Nico looked back at him.

“Yeah, Luke?”

“The scar. It doesn’t really bother me like it used to. I don’t want you thinking it ruined my life or anything. It’s not as bad as it looks, and really I don’t even think it looks that bad. My boyfriend says it makes me look cool and dangerous.”

They hadn’t spoken of it so directly before, and hearing the word leave Luke’s mouth made him feel worse, but also sort of… better. Like everything that had happened between them was suddenly laid bare. Well, not _everything._ Nico would rather melt into the ground than acknowledge the more… intimate aspects of their previous friendship. But that seemed so far in the past now. Nico could never imagine being with Luke the way he once had. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d dreamed of Luke’s hands on his hips, Luke’s fingers tracing a thin line of bare skin, kissing Luke in the backseat of a car.

“If you’re happy, then I’m glad.”

“I hope you can find happiness too, you know,” Luke said, and his eyes drifted in the direction of Jason. Nico’s throat felt tight.

Jason. Jason. The one who had changed everything for him. Jason who had consumed Nico. Enveloped Nico. Jason who loved him differently than anyone else. Jason who knew him better than anyone else. Who knew Nico too well for his own good.

Jason who had nearly gotten killed because of it.

 _My relationship with Luke was minor, in the grand scheme of things,_ Nico thought. _It would only make sense that the damage would be lesser as well._

But _Jason_. Jason would have destroyed himself if he thought it would save Nico. He’d proven that enough times? How was Nico supposed to feel about that sort of commitment?

Was Jason already destroyed? Unlike Luke, his physical injuries would heal in time. But what had happened to Jason inside as a result of his relationship with Nico?

_He would have done anything to save me._

_I’m alive. I’m free. But at what cost?_

“Can everyone please be seated?” A voice called.

Maria di Angelo’s casket overwhelmed Nico’s vision.

 _Oh._ _Right._

Nico half-walked, half-stumbled to the pew in the front row, sitting down between Jason and Hazel. Hazel smiled reassuringly. Jason placed a hand on Nico’s leg, up near his knee, and squeezed gently.

Nico di Angelo—Alive.

Jason Grace—Alive.

Maria di Angelo—Murdered.

If Jason had the choice. If he could have saved Maria or Nico… He would have saved Nico in a heartbeat, no matter what Nico said or wanted. He would save Nico again and again and again. Nothing would have changed. They would both still be here, alive, at his mother’s funeral.

But what about Nico? He hadn’t gotten the choice. Not really. Hades had taken the choice away from him.

_“Who’s it gonna be Nicky? Who do you love more? Mommy, or your tragic little boyfriend?”_

A lifetime ago, Nico had been asked that question with his mother and Bianca. He’d loved his sister more, and chosen to save Bianca. So Hades killed Bianca.

Nico didn’t answer Hades’ question a second time. He’d refused to pick. And Hades had taken Maria’s life. He’d believed that doing so would hurt Nico more, probably. He killed Maria because he believed that Nico loved Maria more.

Would Nico have tried to save her, if he’d had the chance?

“Friends, family, we are gathered here today to honor and pay tribute to the life of Maria di Angelo, and to express our love and admiration for her…”

_“I guess you’re leaving the choice to me, then? Fine.”_

_Jason. Live._ That had been Nico’s fleeting thought in the moment before Hades turned and slit his mother’s throat.

_Jason._

“…Also to try to bring some comfort to those of her family and friends who are here and have been deeply hurt by her tragic death.”

When Jason had tried to attack Hades, all thoughts had fled from Nico’s mind. He’d sprung to his feet, left his mother’s body on the ground.

_“So this is how it is, huh Nicky? You’d practically step on your mother for this trash?”_

No. No.

_“I made the wrong call, it would seem! You love Blue Eyes here more than your own mother, don’t you?”_

No. No. No.

“Maria di Angelo was a wonderful friend, mother, and…”

Nico couldn’t feel Jason’s hand on his leg anymore, though his eyes showed him that it was still clearly there. The heat from Hazel’s and Jason’s bodies had dissipated. Words and sounds didn’t just become jumbled, they disappeared altogether.

The air seemed to thin around Nico, each breath only giving him a shred of the oxygen needed to survive.

“Nico,” the word was whispered in his ear, which was probably the only reason Nico could hear it at all. He turned to the sound, and it was Jason of course. Why wouldn’t it be Jason? Jason was always there.

Jason had taken Nico in even when Nico refused.

Had kept Nico close even when Nico knew he needed to leave.

He’d tethered Nico to him even when Nico knew emotional attachments would only lead to ruin.

“I’m fine,” Nico whispered, and the words sounded as cold coming out as they felt leaving Nico’s lips.

Jason had promised Nico that they would make it out of the Hades situation, that they would live to see Nico’s father punished for his crimes.

And they had.

But Nico’s. Mother. Hadn’t.

 

…

 

Alabaster Torrington had been both early and late to Maria di Angelo’s funeral. He’d been early because he’d gotten there before almost anyone else. He’d been late because he spent over an hour hiding in the bathroom.

Alabaster knew he wasn’t wanted there. Not by Nico, certainly. If Nico ever saw Alabaster again, it would probably be too soon.

He respected that, in a way. It wasn’t like Alabaster was dying to be buddy-buddy with the crybaby brat, either. What became of Nico di Angelo now was completely out of Alabaster’s hands. It wasn’t like he didn’t have his own problems to deal with. Alabaster had _plenty,_ not that woe-is-me Nico would have ever bothered to ask.

Alabaster sounded bitter, even to himself. He knew that. He accepted his flaws pretty easily. He had to live with himself, after all, and dying sounded like a rather depressing alternative.

Nico, on the other hand, always acted like he wanted to just get death over with.

Nico, whose sister had adored him, whose mother had suffered for months, no _years,_ for his sake. Precious Luke Castellan, who had literally been scarred for life because he wanted to stick his tongue in di Angelo’s mouth for a summer. Apparently even that wasn’t enough to keep Mentor Boy away, as Alabaster spotted him tucked away in one of the pews near the back of the church.

And of course there was Blondie 2.0—Jason Gray or whatever, sitting in the front fucking row as if he had ever even _met_ Maria di Angelo before Hades was slitting her throat.

Alabaster knew nothing and everything about Jason at the same time. He was stupid in love with Nico, which made him completely confusing and also completely predictable. Nico, as off-putting as he was, had always had a talent for making people unconditionally love him.

Alabaster wondered what that would feel like. To be loved like that. He thought of his step-mother back home, half ready to pack up his things and throw him out. His father, who he would testify against in court when the time came. He could not think of his siblings, his friends, or his lovers, as he had none of those.

Alabaster rubbed the piece of leather between fingers. It was soft and old and brown in the washed-out way that indicated it had once probably been much darker.

He remembered the summer Nico had gotten it.

 _“I’m going to keep this forever,”_ he said, holding it up in his grubby child’s hand for Alabaster to see.

 _“What is it? It looks pretty small to be a belt,”_ Alabaster asked him.

_“It’s not a belt, Al. It’s my most prized possession, and I’m going to keep it forever.”_

_“Can I see it?”_

_“No, sorry. I don’t want_ anyone _else to touch it. It’s my special bracelet for me only.”_

He thought of how he’d found it on the floor of Jason’s apartment, stepped on and forgotten. How he’d picked it up without really knowing why.

He should have handed it over to the police. It might have been considered evidence… or something.

He slid it back into his pocket, releasing a deep breath.

_What am I doing here?_

Alabaster left the church before Nico got up to speak.

 _Rest in peace, Maria. You were a good woman,_ he thought.

_I’m sorry. I’m so sorry._

…

 

The rest of the funeral went by in a blur. Nico didn’t even remember what he’d said during his speech, though he remembered getting up in front of people and talking. He hoped that whatever it was, it had been good. He hoped it had been great.

Only a handful of people moved on to the cemetery. Nico, and of course Jason, and Chiron, and Hazel and Marie, and a woman named Persephone who had worked at his mother’s restaurant back when it was in business, and most surprisingly, Hestia Stathos in a wheelchair, accompanied by a frazzled looking nurse.

“They wouldn’t let me out of the damn hospital in time for the funeral,” she said, holding out her arms for a hug, “But I told them there would be hell to pay if they didn’t let me be there at the cemetery to say goodbye to my friend.”

“Hestia!” Nico said, surprising himself by nearly throwing himself into the woman’s arms. The nurse looked ready to say something, but he bit down on his lip instead. Good.

“Careful, boy, I’m well enough to leave the hospital for a few hours, not to have sixteen year old boys throttling me,” she laughed, pressing her face into Nico’s neck. “I am so sorry, Nico.”

She removed her face from the crook of his neck to look behind him. “And you, John, Jason, whoever you are, you better give me a hug too.”

Jason gave her a hug. “Sorry we had to lie to you,” he said.

“Oh, I had more than a sneaking suspicion about you. You couldn’t say Nico’s name without getting all starry eyed, you know, subtle as a canary necktie.”

The statement made Nico feel warm inside, but not in the pleasant way. It was a prickling, unwelcomed heat. The sun beating down on the group did not help matters. Nico was overheating from the inside out.

“That… sounds like something I would do,” Jason sighed.

“Sorry we haven’t visited you yet. Things have been… bad,” Nico admitted.

“I understand, boys. Worry about yourselves first! This old lady is doing just fine.”

“Hello, you must be Hestia Stathos,” Chiron stepped forward. “My name is Chiron Brunner, and Jason and Nico have been staying with me.”

“Oh?” she looked at the bookseller with keen interest. “How do you know Jason?”

“I’m his boss. And his soon to be guardian, if his mother allows it.”

“What a coincidence,” the woman smiled, “I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to look at Maria’s will yet, but she expressed her wishes for me, as her dearest friend, to be Nico’s guardian in the event of her passing.”

“What?” Nico and Jason said at once. When had his mother decided that?

“Ah, that is something I did not know,” Chiron said, much calmer than Nico or Jason had been.

“We can discuss that all later, though. Now is not the time or place, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yes, of course, thank you for coming,” the man nodded.

They got started with things shortly after.

Maria di Angelo was to be laid to rest beside Bianca, on a family plot that Hades would now never be a part of.

Bianca and Maria—free to spend the rest of eternity away from the monster who had claimed their lives.

It was the first time Nico had seen Bianca’s grave with his own eyes. The closest he had physically been to her since the night of her death. Nico had thought that maybe that would offer him some comfort that afternoon, but it did not.

A dead family. A boyfriend that Nico couldn’t make eye contact with. A man who wanted to take care of Nico. A woman who was tasked with it.

Maria wanted Nico to be with Hestia. Of course. It made sense. None of his relatives would have been trustworthy options in his mother’s eyes. They were all from Hades’ side of the family. Whether or not they seemed kind-hearted would not have swayed her for a moment. Considering the limited options, Hestia would have naturally been her only choice.

But what did Nico want?

A week ago, the answer was so simple.

Jason. Jason Jason Jason Jason. To be with Jason no matter what. To fight like hell to stay by Jason’s side. To risk everything for the chance.

Now…

Now Nico didn’t know.

They lowered Maria into the ground and he did not hold Jason’s hand.

 

…

 

“Well, we made it through another day,” Jason said as the two lay in bed that night. He sounded more positive about it than he felt. The reality of the day was that Nico had attended his mother’s funeral and burial without shedding a single tear. Nico, who had cried like hell when he thought Jason was going to move to California and leave him, dry-eyed on what was probably one of the hardest days of his life.

Maybe other people would have thought that was a good thing. Nico was strong, able to bounce back, Nico was a fighter. And it was true. Nico was strong, _God_ he was strong.

Only, Jason knew what fighting Nico was like, he’d seen Nico’s strength time and time again. This wasn’t how he showed it. Nico was rarely _stoic._

A quiet, plain faced Nico was an in-his-head Nico, an internalized Nico, a dangerous, uncertain Nico.

And Jason had run out of things to say. He’d pushed as far as he dared. If he kept pressing the younger boy, he worried he would snap him by accident instead.

“Yeah, _we_ did,” Nico said, and rolled over so his back was to the blond.

“Well, it’s late,” Jason sighed. “Try to get a better sleep tonight. I love you.”

“Yeah, I know. Night.”

“Goodnight.”

Complete and utter emotional exhaustion finally pulled Jason under several hours later.

 

…

 

Four days passed like that. Jason, saying little things that hardly mattered. Nico, responding with shorter and shorter sentences. Nico, inching further and further away each night in bed.

He’d started eating again, a miracle that Jason did not let slip from his mind, but that was the only improvement Jason had seen.

Nico’s daily showers lasted so long that Jason knew the water must have gone cold each time, long before Nico got out.

On Monday, Chiron met with Jason’s mother to discuss getting custody of Jason. She was willing to give it. Jason wished, fleetingly, that it could have happened three years ago. Chiron was a better parent to him than Beryl had ever been. When Chiron returned home that evening, Jason hugged him. Nico ate dinner in their room, alone.

On Tuesday, Nico spent more than five hours downstairs, walking between the bookshelves and just touching the books. Or at least, that’s what Chiron had told him. The two had tried to talk about Nico’s custody situation, but Nico had apparently shrugged it off. They did not mention the week anniversary of Maria’s death.

On Wednesday, a week after Jason and Nico returned home from the police station, Chiron re-opened the bookstore. Jason helped him, even though he wasn’t scheduled to work any shifts in the foreseeable future. Nico remained upstairs.

“There’s a woman I know,” Chiron told him that night as they closed up the shop. “Her name is Demeter McCaffrey, she’s a therapist.”

“You think Nico should see her?” Jason asked, locking the front door.

“Well, yes, but I was actually talking about for you. Someone for you to talk to.”

Jason twitched. “I’m fine, Chiron. I don’t need to see a therapist.”

“I’m sure Nico would say the same thing, but that doesn’t mean either of you are _fine,_ my boy. This last week, no, the last two months even, you’ve put a lot of weight on your shoulders. More than most people your age would take on. I think you’ve been so focused on helping Nico, that you’ve forgotten about helping yourself entirely.”

Jason tried to swallow the information. “Chiron I—I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

“Please, please do. There is some help that I don’t think I am qualified of giving.”

“No, Chiron, you’re… you’re amazing. Really amazing. I’d be lost without you.”

The bookseller nodded. “Go upstairs and eat something, okay? And sleep on what I said. I told your principal that you’ll be returning to school on Monday.”

“What?” Chiron expected him to return to school with things still as they were?

“Yes. Your education is something I won’t let you throw away. If you miss any more school than this, there would be disciplinary actions. I’ll let you think about the therapist, but school is non-negotiable, understood?”

Jason nodded. “What about Nico? He’s not going to go back to _that_ school. No way in hell.”

“No. I don’t think he will. Especially not this semester. Everyone knows that. I guess what he does in the fall will be between him and his guardian, whether that turns out to be me or Hestia Stathos or someone else.”

“I don’t want to think about that,” Jason muttered. “No one is going to take Nico from me.”

“Well what if Nico desires it?” the man inquired.

Jason’s heart stopped. “Did he say something to you?” he asked, panic seizing his muscles. Did Nico want to leave? Had he stopped seeing their future together?

“No, he didn’t say anything. Relax, son. I was just… posing a possibility to be considered.”

“Well don’t pose it,” Jason snapped. “I can’t even think that way Chiron, I—Nico wouldn’t want—I—we—we need each other.”

“Need is a dangerous word, Jason,” Chiron released a deep breath. “You know I care about both of you boys deeply. I want the best for both of you. Whatever that may be.”

“What’s _best for us,_ ” Jason said, “is being together.”

He walked—no, he _ran_ for the stairs before Chiron could get in another word.

It didn’t matter how Nico had been acting lately, he was still Jason’s boyfriend and Jason wouldn’t allow groundless ideas like Nico not loving him anymore creep into his mind. Why would Chiron even _say_ something like that?

 _Need is a dangerous word._ Yeah, so was _leaving._ Nico wasn’t going anywhere. Jason wasn’t going anywhere.

It was unthinkable. And yet…

So many aspects of Jason’s current life had been unthinkable once upon a time.

Something wretched stirred within Jason. He hung the keys for the store on a metal coat rack just inside the door of the apartment, catching a distorted image of himself in its reflection.

He wanted to claim that reflection, instead of his true one. At least then he would look as out of place, as alien, as unrecognizable as he felt.

_How did it get to this?_

 

…

 

Chiron had gone straight to his room upon coming upstairs. Or rather, that was what it sounded like from where Jason sat in his own room. Nico had been the one to bring food in for the two boys, dropping a plate harshly on Jason’s lap without a word.

“Spaghetti?” Jason asked, desperate to not be in an argument with at least one person in the apartment. “I thought it’s the most basic, overdone Italian food ever.”

Nico’s eyebrows sort of shrugged, and he sat in the chair by the desk rather than the bed. “There’s no other groceries, so unless you’d rather eat my sawn off hand.”

Every sentence that had left the boy’s mouth over the past few days had been sharp, short, almost impatient sounding. To say Jason was trying to tiptoe around him was an understatement.

“Or you could just, you know, bite my head off,” Jason mumbled.

“What was that?” Nico huffed.

“Nothing. Forget about it,” he pushed spaghetti around on his plate. “Chiron’s making me go back to school on Monday.”

“Let me guess, you two had an argument about it?”

“I mean, kind of. I know he just wants the best for me, but…”

“No, I get it, I can imagine it sucks when your legal guardian tries to go all ‘responsible parent’ on you.”

Jason tried to cover up his responding cringe with a supportive smile. “Have you two talked any more, you know, about… custody stuff.”

“Well, three people currently live here and so it is pretty safe to say that if we _had,_ all three of us would be aware of it by now, wouldn’t we?”

“You could have just said no…”

“You could have not asked a question you clearly already had an answer to.”

Jason brought a scoop of pasta to his lips, but lowered it back down. He could only imagine how the noodles would clump in his throat, as tight as it felt at that moment. That he could breathe was amazing, that he could speak was a miracle.

 _Just ask him._ “If it were entirely up to you, though, and there was no process to deal with: You would… you would want to stay here, right? With us?”

“Obviously,” sneered the other boy, “my ideal situation _is_ being orphaned at age sixteen and living with people I didn’t know six months ago, after all. Did I not mention that on the first date?”

He couldn’t take it a second longer. Jason flipped the plate off of his lap, sauce and noodles and plate spilling across the foot of the bed. “What the _fuck_ Nico? Seriously, what the fuck is your deal? I am so far past being able to deal with this.”

Nico looked from the floor, to the pasta, and finally to Jason. If Jason hadn’t already been sitting, the coldness of Nico’s glare would have knocked him off his feet.

“My _problem?_ Should I write you out a fucking list? Am I not happy enough for you? Is ‘dealing’ with me such a waste of time?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t need or expect you to be happy, but maybe it wouldn’t kill you to channel your deeply buried emotions into something other than being a dick.”

“Ah, too bad, I’d do it for sure if I knew it would kill me.”

Jason cringed so powerfully that his teeth snapped down on his tongue. _This isn’t really happening,_ he pleaded with himself, though the grossly metallic taste of blood on his tongue told another story. “Tell me you don’t mean that,” he said, not exactly softer, but not harsh in the same way that his previous statements had been.

“If I was going to seriously kill myself, Grace, don’t you think I would have done it by now?”

Grace. The name was spoken in a mocking, unkind way. Like they were two schoolmates discussing the finer details of an after-school fight.

Like it was a cold night in mid-February and they were two near-strangers crossing paths in an alley…

“I don’t know what I should think anymore, Nico. Your mood changes from weirdly calm to borderline panic attack to irritable _asshole_ without any warning. It’s like I don’t even know who you are. And it’s not like I haven’t been working my ass off _trying_ to understand.”

“Maybe,” Nico’s voice was frighteningly even, “you just can’t understand. Unless I missed the part where your father murdered your mother and sister in front of your eyes?”

“You haven’t even given me a _chance._ A week ago, I nearly died and your mother was killed. Then the next day you were officially cleared of suspicion. Then Saturday we attended the funeral of your mother. How many of these things have you actually tried to talk about with me? Zero! I’m right here, I’m dying to help you, and—”

“‘Dying to help,’” snorted Nico, “nice. Real nice.”

_This feels so wrong. This isn’t the way this conversation should be going down at all._

“Look, you’re right, I don’t think I understand where you’re at right now. But, if you care about me at all, you could try to take it down a fucking notch and talk to me like I’m your boyfriend, which _the last time I checked,_ I am.”

Now Nico shoved his plate as well, only his was on the desk to begin with and had nowhere to go but down, hitting the floor with a loud clap. Jason expected the plate to shatter into many pieces, but the reality was that it merely broke in half. Nico threw his cup at the wall as well—only this was at least plastic.

“Better?” Jason asked.

“No,” Nico said shortly. “But better isn’t going to happen right now _,_ so you may as well go on ahead with the talking.”

Jason rose from the bed and crossed the room to Nico, kneeling at his feet on the side of the chair that didn’t have broken glass. “Nico, I’m not going to say that this week has been even remotely good, because it hasn’t. It’s been miserable, actually. But I still love you. We’ve been through hell together, and I love you so fucking much. Maybe I wasn’t in your life six months ago, but I still know you better than probably anyone else does, so I know that you’ve been drowning your true feelings since before we even left the police station. It’s not healthy, Nico.”

“That’s rich, Jason. That’s rich coming from you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Nico dismissed. “Forget it. Why would I bother?”

“You’re still not making any sense.”

Nico rose from his seat, nearly stepping on Jason as he crossed the room in three long strides. “You want to know how I feel? Fine. I’m _angry,_ Jason. I am so fucking mad and my insides feel like they're boiling!" He threw his arms up in a wild gesture.

"Who are you angry with?" Jason breathed the words.

"Everyone! My father, my mother, Alabaster and his father, _you._ I wish you had never stopped me the night I tried to sneak out. The night you kissed me.”

“I know the night,” Jason said quickly, a foreign feeling of coldness filling his entire being.

“Why did you have to make me fall in love with you back then, Jason? I wish you’d never found me at all. I wish I’d never even _met_ you. You were not part of the plan! My only plan was to save my mother and that's completely fucked in the ass now, _isn't it?_ ”

"Nico," Jason whispered, rising to his feet as well. He had not taken two steps in the boy’s direction before Nico threw up his arms again.

"No, don't say anything. I’m sick of hearing your voice right now. What can you possibly say?” The laugh that spilled from the boy’s mouth was so unfamiliar that Jason half believed there was another person in the room. “You know what, Jason? You know what?” He was walking toward Jason now, storming toward him. If it had been anyone other than Nico, Jason would think he was about to be hit. “When my father had you and my mom with him, and he held the knife up, I knew one of you was going to die no matter _what_ I did. And you know what my only fucking thoughts was? It was ‘please, not Jason’. In that moment, I thought of you before my own mother! Do you know how **FUCKED UP** that is?" Every word was its own scream. Jason recoiled.

"I didn't want all of this to happen," he choked out.

"Oh really? Because it seems like everything worked out fine for you! We're both alive and my name is clear. That's all that really mattered to you, isn't it? You didn't even know my mother! You were probably relieved when her death cleared my name!"

If it had been anyone else in the world, _Jason_ would have hit _him_. "How _dare_ you, Nico di Angelo.” Jason shook with… not with rage exactly… but something equally as consuming. “Is that what you really think of me? That I'm that—fucking— _selfish._ I wouldn't wish your mother dead to save even my own life! I thought you knew that. You want to be mad at me? Fine! Be fucking mad at me. But be mad at me for things that I actually did! Don't project all your anger at the world on me! I. Am. On. Your. Side."

"You wouldn't wish her dead to save your own life, and yet you're alive and she's dead. She’s fucking dead, Jason. And here you are, alive. Funny how that works out." Only now did Jason notice that they were standing just inches apart. Nico’s burning cold eyes were a hand’s length away.

"You're saying what happened to her is my fault? Do you wish I was dead right now instead of her?" 

"I don't know,” Nico shrugged. “Maybe I do."

A pitchfork drove through Jason's chest, puncturing his lungs and his heart all at once. He slid to his knees and said nothing. The worst part was, Jason couldn't even bring himself to be angry. Why shouldn't it be true, that Nico would rather have his mother with him than his stupid boyfriend of two fucking months? Just because Nico had for a second thought that he wanted Jason to live above all else, didn't mean anything.

"I see,” he murmured. He did not look at the still standing boy. 

"I'm sleeping on the couch, don’t come after me," Nico growled, and stormed out.

 

…

 

Jason thought about sleeping right there on the floor. He didn't want to move ever again. _Nico. Nico. Nico. Nico_. Nico had walked out. This would be the end of them. Jason knew it was true, and yet he couldn't imagine it. Nico didn't want Jason around. He wished they had never been together, never fallen in love. Jason was probably just a horrible reminder of all the things Nico had lost. The things that really mattered to him.

He thought he was going to cry. He knew he probably should. And yet no tears came. Maybe because Jason wasn't sad. Not really. He was broken. How could a broken music box play music? How could a broken doll talk? How could a broken boy cry? 

Jason had dived headfirst in love with Nico, tossing caution aside like it didn’t even matter. He thought that love was all that mattered, that if he had love he could face everything else.

He hadn’t realize at the time that love was something that could be taken away, yanked out from under his feet. He thought he’d been falling into Nico, but now he found himself in an empty, cold pit—one that he had no idea how to escape from.

_I gave him all that I was, all that I had. I tried to be even more, to have even more, all so I could give it to him._

And for what? Nico was right. What had their love accomplished in the end?

Maria di Angelo was dead. Hestia Stathos was recovering from a knife wound in her chest. His mother had been kidnapped and drugged, and likely could have ended up dead as well. Chiron had piled burden upon burden on his back, all for Jason’s sake. Leo had risked his life. Percy had risked his life. They’d endangered so many people.

And all because Jason had been too selfish to give up a boy who he knew he shouldn’t have tried to keep close in the first place.

_This isn’t Nico’s fault, it’s mine._

_I wouldn’t love me, either._

_I’d rather me be dead, too._

When his back began to ache from lying on the floor and the coldness surrounding Jason caused him to shiver, he dragged himself up to the bed. There was a sauce stain at the end of it. A broken plate by the desk. More things damaged because of Jason and Nico’s relationship. More things Jason would owe Chiron for.

_Have I done any good at all? Have I really helped anyone? They give endlessly. I take endlessly._

His breathing was ragged, but his cheeks remained dry. Jason wasn’t worthy of tears. Maybe that was why he hadn’t cried since those few shed tears their first night back at Chiron’s. Slowly, Jason had started to realize that he had no right to cry. Jason hadn’t really lost anything, in the end. He’d stolen and stolen and stolen.

Could he really say he had lost Nico, if Nico never should have been his at all?

 _No. Don’t think that way. Don’t let his words get to you. Nico chose to stay, he allowed himself to love you, just like you did him. Loving Nico was not a mistake. Nico was_ not _a mistake._

He wanted desperately to believe it. To believe that fate had somehow brought them together, that some higher power knew that Jason and Nico were meant to be together, meant to love each other ceaselessly. He wanted to believe it so damn badly.

But how could he? How could he go on loving Nico so deeply when Nico no longer seemed to want anything to do with him?

When Nico… wished he was… _dead._

He hadn’t meant it, Jason told himself. Or at least, he hadn’t meant it quite like he’d said it. Nico didn’t regret everything between them he was just… upset. He hadn’t been himself lately.

Only… only maybe he had. Maybe this was the only Nico left. The only Nico he was going to get.

Or rather, the only Nico he was not going to get.

The Nico who was going to leave him.

The Nico who was going to take him apart and leave the pieces scattered.

 _I can’t bear it,_ Jason thought, and he pulled the comforter over his head.

One wall stood between him and Nico, a distance of perhaps twenty feet, and yet already it felt like the other boy was completely unreachable.

 

…

 

“Jay.”

Jason hadn’t realized he had fallen asleep until the word suddenly jerked him back to consciousness. His eyes fluttered open at the sound, and he peered up into the darkness to identify the speaker.

Not that he needed much identification. Only one person ever called Jason by that name, even though it had been quite a while since he’d heard it.

“Nico?” Jason whispered, and it was as if he’d spoken the boy into existence. There he was, leaning over Jason on the bed, shaking gently. Jason could see only his form, his figure. His face was shrouded in darkness. It made the other boy’s presence feel more like a dream than reality.

“Jay, I’m so sorry,” the voice whispered, and Jason realized it wasn’t just the boy’s body that was shaky. The whisper was an unsteady, broken sounding thing. “I said so many terrible things to you earlier.”

“It’s okay,” Jason whispered, still trying to maintain composure in case this all turned out to be a dream and he woke up miserable and alone.

“I didn’t mean it. I mean, I didn’t mean all of it.”

“I know,” Jason sighed, even though he wasn’t sure if he had, and even if he wasn’t sure which parts Nico _had_ meant and which parts he _hadn’t._

“I can’t get through this without you. I’m sorry I pushed you away.”

“Nico,” he breathed, and the boy lowered a hand to Jason’s cheek. Jason leaned into the touch, releasing a deep, content breath.

“Can I sleep in here tonight?” He actually sounded uncertain, as if Jason were capable of denying him anything. _Please don’t let this be a dream._

“Of course. You can always sleep with me, Nico. I’m not… I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”

Jason hoped that Nico would say it back, would reassure Jason with those three simple yet complex words. He didn’t. He did, however, lean forward to cover Jason’s lips with his own.

No, that was not the right way to explain it. He dove for Jason’s lips. He attacked Jason with lips and tongue and tightly gripping fingers. There was a startling aggressiveness to the embrace.

At first, it wasn’t kissing. It was Jason being kissed. It was Nico crawling on top of Jason and resting his legs on either side of the boy’s hips. It was Jason’s heart struggling to restart itself.

And then Jason’s instincts took over. His arms curled around Nico’s back, drawing him endlessly closer. He parted his lips and sighed into the other boy’s mouth, his body releasing a week’s worth of tension so quickly that it left a strange tingling feeling in Jason’s body. He bit down lightly on Nico’s bottom lip, tugging at it as he pressed his fingers firmly into the boy’s back. They’d kissed so frequently since getting together that Jason had never known what it was like to go even a day without kissing his boyfriend, until suddenly it was a week and a kiss-starved Jason was left wondering how he’d been able to manage.

Nico may have not been himself lately, but his lips were the same, and Jason’s body reacted as it always did whenever the two of them got to a certain point. Jason dragged his lips down Nico’s neck, sucking and licking and kissing at his collarbone, right above scooped neckline of Nico’s shirt.

“Ah,” Nico moaned, fingers knotting in Jason’s hair. Jason let his hands roam up and down Nico’s back, grabbing at anything and everything that belonged to Nico.

_This body. This boy. He still has so much power over me._

“Jason, I need you.”

Jason glanced up at him. “You have me,” he promised.

“No,” Nico said, and now Jason could hear a note of uneasiness in his voice. “I _need_ you. Right now. It’s been so long.”

Jason froze, his hands stilling. _Oh._ “Nico, I don’t know if we should. I mean, there aren’t even any condoms here and you’re still—”

“You said I have you, didn’t you?” He leaned in so his nose was nearly touching Jason’s, and for the first time since waking up, Jason could truly see Nico’s eyes. There was something frantic about his eyes, something wild and raw. He looked panicked, _desperate_ … like he needed this more than anything in the world. “Please, Jay.” Each time Nico used his nickname for Jason broke the latter in a new, unique way.

_I shouldn’t do this. We shouldn’t do this._

He leaned back against the pillow and nodded once. Nico’s hands found the waist of his pants almost immediately.

_He needs me._

Jason fumbled a hand toward the nightstand, sighing unabashedly as Nico jerked Jason’s semi to full hardness.

_I need him too._

Jason tugged Nico’s pants down as well. He practically ripped Nico’s shirt off of his body.

It wasn’t at all like what they were used to. This was not affectionate touches and gentle, prolonged preparation. This wasn’t passionate kisses and tender words. It wasn’t making love, not in the way Jason had come to expect it. It wasn’t… intimacy.

But it _was_ bodies moving together. It was fast-paced thrusting and greedy hands and moans released against chests and into cheeks and mouths and necks. It was Nico on top of him, and then Nico beneath him. Nico with his head tilted back, his pale neck exposed to the world. It was Jason’s teeth dragging along that pale expanse of skin. It was breathy, needy voices repeating only two words over and over—the other boy’s name. It was sex.

More than that, it was sex with Nico.

And most importantly, it was a confirmation of reality.

Because if Jason was dreaming of having sex with Nico, this would be the moment that turned everything around, that rebuilt their connection, that knocked away all of Jason’s uncertainty. It would be the moment when Jason knew everything was going to be okay. It would be sex that left Jason feeling fulfilled, happy, whole again for the first time in days.

But none of those things happened, which meant that this all had to be real.

Fifteen minutes later, Nico fell asleep in Jason’s arms, apparently satisfied. He’d seemed almost relaxed after Jason had released inside of him—an experience that for the first time was a purely physical peak, without any emotional climax whatsoever—and had not even bothered to get up to clean himself before curling his naked body against Jason’s and drifting off to sleep.

 _Turn your brain off for the night, Jason,_ he pleaded with himself. _You can work things out in the morning._

The idea was laughable, however.

Work things out?

Yeah, and maybe his principal would just hand him his diploma in the morning, too. Maybe child protective services would call and say that Maria’s will actually said Nico could just live wherever he wanted. Maybe Hades di Angelo would call him up from prison and recite a formal apology. Maybe the kids at school wouldn’t talk about Nico or Jason or Nico and Jason ever again.

Ya know, maybe.

_I am so fucking fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOWOWOW what a dramatic chapter, right?
> 
> You should all know that writing some of Nico's lines in that fight scene actually brought me to tears while I was writing. Being in arguments like the one Jason and Nico got in this chapter are really painful to write, read, and to live in real life. 
> 
> Another thing that will get addressed later but I feel the need to at least reference now, so you all don't think I am crazy. This story is not meant to represent healthy methods for handling one's problems. Additionally, Jason and Nico's relationship isn't vert healthy at the moment either. I don't want people to think I am trying to romanticize their situation, because there is really nothing romantic about it right now. Jason and Nico have lived in a sort of bubble for so long, and it had to break eventually, and now the question is "how will they handle things from here" now that they are more in the real world. I could ramble more about that but real talk I am so fucking tired and this is probably all gibberish. Someone call me out if I'm making no sense.
> 
> Speaking of calling Carlee out, this chapter came SO LATE and I am SO FUCKING SORRY. I wrote up through the funeral scene with Percy and his family between the last update and December 12th, give or take. Then I got home from Christmas break and turned out the rest of this monster chapter in a few damn sittings. Part of what took so long was that I was really hesitant about fucking up the Luke scene. As for the other part of what took so long, please reference my obligatory excuse list below:
> 
> 1- The biggest excuse is DEFINITELY Yuri On Ice. I can't even say anything to make this sound better than it is. There is no sugar coating it. I am obsessed. I started watching the very first week and it has been dominating my mind since then. I think I've seen most episodes 6 or 7 times. I can quote the subs pretty accurately at this point, like... Oops. Side note, feel free to join me in YOI hell if you haven't done so already.
> 
> 2- I wrote a long long long "short story" for my final creative writing assignment and that took up a lot of time. Come to think of it, I submitted two stories for my creative writing class since the last time I updated. Writing with an actual deadline looming over your head, knowing a professor is going to read your original work is scary as fuck. I am rather happy with the stories though, and SOH seemed to enjoy them both, so maybe at some point I will come up with a way to share those two short stories with you, my dear readers, as well!
> 
> 3- When your roommate is your anime trash best friend, and you are also anime trash... shit happens okay I am so sorry and I feel so bad. I will try to be better in the future. You all deserve better. Jason and Nico deserve better.
> 
> Okay, I'm done. I'm done. I'm so exhausted. I really need to stop depriving myself of that all-important beauty sleep. haha, I say that now and watch me literally not change my sleeping habits at all. GOODNIGHT, GOOD MORNING, GOOD AFTERNOON, HAPPY LIFE TO ALL OF YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE.
> 
> If you liked this chapter and want to motivate me to write faster, leave me a comment letting me know what you think. No really, please do. Y'all are my best cheerleaders. I love every reader dearly, but those of you who leave comments have a special place in my heart.


	30. I Need A Lifeboat (Mayday, Mayday, Mayday)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (I am summarizing the last chapter for anyone who can't remember what the hell happened 35 years ago when I last updated.)
> 
> Jason and Nico attended Maria's funeral, where Nico spoke to Luke for the first time since the night Luke got his scar. Also while at the funeral, Jason and Nico learned that Chiron was arranging to get custody of Jason, while custody of Nico was still up in the air.
> 
> Jason and Nico were fighting, of course, and the silent passive aggressive behavior boiled down to one really awful fight between the two of them, in which Nico said some pretty nasty things. Then, later that night, they "sort of" reconciled and ended up having sex, which Jason did not feel good at all about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hello, you may not remember me or this story because I am the literal WORST. But, yeah, here I am, showing my face because I love this story too much to not finish it and I love my readers too much to not want to share this story with you all. Things are starting to come to a close, and I am so excited as we move into the end of this story. 
> 
> This chapter title is actually based off of an original song, Lifeboat, by one of my good friends. You should totally check out this song (and his others) at goingspaceward.bandcamp.com
> 
> No really, do it. Lifeboat is a MAJOR mood song for this chapter.
> 
> Also: shout out to my roommate Emma for getting me to finish editing this BEAST of a chapter tonight out of spite. This one's for you, ya little Suzaku Trash.

If Jason had ever thought that having sex with Nico again would somehow turn things around and make everything normal between them, then he was even more of an idiot that people gave him credit for.

Sometimes he thought things were a little better.

Mostly they were worse.

Did it count as cheating if you were having sex with your boyfriend, but he wasn’t the boy you thought you knew? It felt like an insult to the feelings Jason and Nico had formed—to the love they had shared…

… Were still sharing?

Did Nico love him? Could sex feel so detached from all emotions with mutual love involved? God, Jason didn’t know. He didn’t know. Maybe someone with experience… maybe someone older… someone who hadn’t only had sex with one person in his pathetic life.

He’d gotten Nico to open up a little bit during their fight several days ago, but the words Nico had spoken to him, spoken into the world, were horrific enough that Jason almost didn’t mind the silence anymore. The words Nico had to say with his mouth, with his heart, were utterly terrifying. The words Nico said with his body, at least, were a comfort: I Desire You.

Desire, physical attraction. Something was still there, and something was better than nothing, right? How could it feel like Nico was clinging to him and avoiding him all at once? What did it mean… for them?

Nico seemed keen on taking things one day at a time since the night of the incident, and so Jason was trying to as well. One confusing, frustrating, exhausting day at a time.

And now it was Monday morning. Seven-thirty AM. And Chiron wanted Jason to go back to school.

He wanted Jason to go to school as if nothing was wrong. As if his life hadn’t completely turned upside down and inside out these past months. As if the whole student body and the whole faculty and the whole damn city didn’t know about it.

Jason was dreading it.

The three of them—Jason, Nico, and Chiron, stood downstairs in the bookshop. Jason had been too stressed to eat breakfast. His hair looked slept on and unkempt. He knew there were circles under his eyes, and wondered if she should have called Piper for some sort of makeup magic.

No, no that was stupid. Jason always looked tired. Jason hadn’t had a restful two months by any means. And what did it matter anyway if the whole school saw how tired he was, anyway?

Leo and Piper had both talked to Jason about what the students of Goode had been saying since Nico’s discovery. Almost two weeks later and it was still the number one piece of gossip. Jason didn’t think anything for the rest of the semester could beat “Wanted criminal Nico di Angelo isn’t actually a criminal, but his dad is and _he_ murdered Bianca, then tried to murder Jason Grace, who has been hiding Nico in his apartment and presumably sleeping with him.”

_This is certainly going to be… a day._

Chiron had finally started carrying newspapers in the shop again, and he was setting them out in front of the counter while Jason and Nico took a moment to themselves.

“I don’t want you to go,” Nico whispered shyly, leaning his forehead against Jason’s chest. Jason carefully looped an arm around him and pulled him into an awkward hug. It was one of the most affectionate things Nico had said to him since they left the police station.

“I’ll come straight home after. And you can text me whenever you need me, okay? Use Chiron’s phone. I’ll get us our own cell phones sometime this week.” Even with things between Jason and Nico as weird as they were, the thought of spending so many hours away from Nico had Jason in a mild state of panic. What would happen to Nico while Jason was gone?

“What if I need you to come home? What if I really need you?”

“Then I’ll come,” he said, knowing he meant it completely.

Nico nodded.

“Knock knock!” Leo called as the front door swung open. “Well, not much of a knock. More like, I’m letting myself in. Right now.”

“Ah, Leo,” Chiron sighed. “I knew there was a reason I should have kept that door locked. Hello Piper, dear. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

Jason turned to find his friends waiting at the entrance, and his heart lifted a little. While Jason had been out of school, Leo had taken to riding with Piper in the mornings. Today, however, they had both chosen to forgo Piper’s family car so they could walk with Jason. If any two people could take Jason’s mind off of this for a while, it would be these two. His best friends.

“You know Leo,” Piper said, “Throwing open people’s doors without knocking is his thing.”

The Nico from before would have smirked. The Nico beside Jason was staring down at his shoes.

“I honestly can’t believe you would say such thi—yeah, you’re right,” Leo shrugged and started forward. “Nico, my man, how are you?”

“Sublime,” Nico said drily. He looked back at Jason, and there was a hint of worry conveyed in the furrow of his eyebrows. Jason wished he knew the source of the worry. He wished Nico wasn’t as good as a stranger. He wished he didn’t love him so damn much in spite of all that.

_God, how can I still love you so entirely? How is that fair to either of us?_

“You ready, Jase?” Piper asked, leaning against the front counter and handing Chiron what looked like a bag of donut holes. “For you,” she said. “Nico, we have some donut holes for you, too.” She held up a bag.

Chiron smiled at Piper as if to say _this one is my favorite._ “You’re too good to me. What are you doing hanging around with this lot?”

“All the good best friends were taken, I guess,” she laughed.

“It’s nice to see everyone together again. We missed you around here, Piper.”

“Speaking of here,” Leo added, “Jase, remember the last time I picked you up from Delphi before school, when you were drooling over that brand new book? I kept teasing you.”

Jason was surprised to find he did remember. “Yeah, that was… that was the day I found Nico. In the alley.”

“You’re shitting me, really?” Leo laughed. “Full circle.”

“Thanks for the breakfast, Piper,” Nico interrupted, crossing to the counter and swiping up one of the paper bags. “You guys should go. You’re already going to be the talk of the school, you don’t want to call extra attention by being late.”

If Nico had any feelings about the two of them being the number one topic of conversation at Goode High School (and in most of the city), he didn’t show them. Unsurprising. Apparently Nico didn’t show many feelings at all anymore, unless they were in a sudden burst of anger and paired with thrown cups and spilled spaghetti.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Jason conceded, grabbing his backpack from the floor beside the newspaper kiosk. “Have a good day with Chiron today, don’t let him work you too hard.”

“I’m a fair employer,” Chiron scoffed.

“I’ll be fine,” Nico mumbled. Their eyes met. Nico was only an arm’s length away. This was when Jason would kiss him on a normal school day. He’d kiss him and they’d exchange _I love you’s_ , and Jason would feel the remnants of that kiss for the rest of the morning.

“Remember, text me. Or call. I’ll answer.”

“Yeah,” the response was even quieter than his last one. Jason released a tired breath and turned to go. Fingers caught around his wrist.

Jason turned back to Nico and the boy stepped forward to place a quick, close-mouthed kiss against Jason’s lips. He looked hurt, and Jason knew he’d taken a wrong step somewhere. Guilt stabbed him.

Even when Jason tried to do what he thought Nico wanted, it was wrong. Perhaps the only thing Jason had done right all week was have sex with Nico whenever the other boy needed it. Perhaps that was the only thing he _could_ do for Nico anymore.

“I love you,” Jason whispered.

Another wrong move. Nico turned his head away. “Walk fast,” he said, already on his way toward the apartment stairs.

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Chiron promised when Nico was gone. “You focus on your studies today, okay?”

“I’ll try. See you this afternoon.”

He, Piper, and Leo left the store as a group.

 

…

 

“That was weird, right?” Piper said after several minutes of weighty silence. “I mean, I don’t know Nico like you guys do, so it’s harder for me to tell, but he seems… I don’t know..”

“He’s just going through a hard time right now,” Jason said, more defensively than intended. “He’s lost a lot. But he’s great, I swear. You’ll love him once you know him, right Leo?”

Leo looked stricken at being brought into the conversation. “What? Um, yeah. Have you and Nico been, like, uh talking about stuff recently?”

“Um, some stuff,” Jason said, and it was only partially a lie. Their fight from a few nights prior was technically talking. Sort of. Jason didn’t have energy to hear any lectures from Leo or Piper though, not with Thalia and Chiron already worrying over him so hard. Not with thoughts of Nico occupying every spare corner of his mind. Not with the day he had ahead of him.

“Has he mentioned me?”

Jason looked at Leo more closely than before. Leo said it as if it were a joke, but Jason had a sense that the words ran deeper than that. Whenever Leo had made a joke around Jason over the past weeks, it came out sounding forced—like Leo had the sole responsibility of lightening the mood. Was that all this was?

“Should he have?”

“I mean, maybe he misses me. We’re pretty tight, you know.”

“Should I worry about you trying to steal him away from me?” Jason retorted, even though it must have been clear to all of them that his heart wasn’t in it.

“And break Calypso’s heart like that? Yeah right.”

While Piper and Leo bickered back and forth over Leo’s odds of ever getting with Calypso, Jason let his mind wander. His own words to Leo had been a joke, but he was caught on them nonetheless. Two weeks ago, Nico was his, and he was Nico’s. He’d belonged with Nico in a way he’d never belonged anywhere, with anyone. That was what it had _felt_ like. Did everyone feel that way the first time they fell in love? What if… what if Nico had never really been Jason’s? What if he’d never really been Nico’s? Had they been fooling themselves all along?

He used to think their bond was pure steel, but it wasn’t.

It was glass.

And it was cracking.

No, it had already cracked.

Now, Jason could only wonder how easily it would break.

Jason was torn from these musings as he and his friends rounded the corner a block from school and saw two friendly faces waiting by the crosswalk. Percy Jackson and Hazel Levesque waved at Jason’s approaching group. Percy, to his credit, wore a smile that actually seemed genuine. Hazel looked nervous, with tensed shoulders and a wrinkle between her brows, but not in a way that unsettled Jason. Just weeks ago, seeing either of these faces would have put Jason on edge. One of Nico’s only school friends and his cousin. People who existed in the realm of Nico’s world. People who could get hurt because of it. People Jason had spent weeks and weeks lying to. He almost could imagine that the three of them were going through the pain of these last days together. That they were united in their devotion to one incredibly troubled Nico di Angelo. These were people whose feelings for Nico were completely separate from their feelings for Jason, after all. They were people who’d loved Nico long before Jason was in the picture. They loved Nico more than they would ever love Jason. _Good._

Leo and Piper would always put Jason first, and he loved them for it, but his grief over Nico connected Jason to Percy and Hazel in ways his two best friends could not understand. This boy they all loved was suffering, whether or not Nico would admit to it. But, despite this connection, Jason still felt very separate from Hazel and Percy. And separate from Leo and Piper. And Chiron. And Nico, of course Nico. Separated in an invisible way that could never be seen but was felt in every dark corner of Jason’s being.

At least Hazel and Percy seemed to be finding comfort in each other’s company.

“Guys! Hey!” he said, waving at them and wanting to smile. Wanting to smile but not being able to. This was not a morning for smiles.  

“Jason!” Percy grinned, bumping fists with the blond. “Glad we caught you before you made it to school. Hazel and I didn’t want you to have to go in alone.” He shared the grin with Leo and Piper. “Though it seems we were beaten to it by these two.”

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve really met,” Hazel said, turning to Jason’s friends. “I’m Hazel Levesque, Nico’s cousin.”

“Yeah, I remember seeing you at the funeral,” Leo said. “And of course Jase has told me, well, you know—I’m Leo. This is—”

“Piper,” Piper said. “I’m pretty good at introducing myself,” she shoved Leo’s arm half-heartedly. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too, even under these crappy circumstances. I’ve heard a lot about you guys.”

“In a school like this?” Piper shook her head, “Doesn’t surprise me.”

“At least you’re all seniors,” Hazel groaned.

“You ready for this, dude?” Percy interrupted, throwing an arm around Jason’s shoulder as they continued the walk toward the school of Jason’s nightmares.

“How bad could it be? It’s just a bunch of gossipy teenagers, right?”

“Rachel is basically a celebrity now. The way she tells the story, you’d think she busted down the door herself,” Piper shared. “Oh, high school.”

“Bright side, I bet we aren’t going to be covering any new material in class today. The teachers won’t be able to get the students to pay attention long enough to actually learn,” said Leo. Jason didn’t know whether it was a joke or a comfort.

“Imagine what a zoo it would be if Nico ever came back,” Percy added. “They’d have to shut down the school.”

They crossed the street. Jason pulled out his—well, Piper’s—cell phone and wrote Nico a quick text.

**_I’m going to miss you all day._ **

_"You're saying what happened to her is my fault? Do you wish I was dead right now instead of her?"_

_"I don't know. Maybe I do."_

He deleted the message.

**_Hazel says hi,_** he sent instead, because he was pathetic and wanted to write something that Nico was likely to respond to.

Jason told Nico to text Jason if he needed him, but really it was more like Jason who needed Nico. The day loomed over him like the shadow of a skyscraper.

School would not mean getting away from his Nico problems in the slightest. If anything, they would be even more in his face than they were at home. How many times would Nico’s name pass someone’s lips today? How many times would Jason have to hear it before he went insane?

He could see the brick face of Goode now, its thrown open front doors like a mouth ready to devour him. Jason’s chest felt stuffed.

A tan hand waved in front of Jason’s face and he looked down to realize Leo had moved to stand before him. “Six more weeks, and then you’re done forever. You just gotta handle six weeks.”

“Is this encouragement or a consolation for the hell you know I am about to walk into?”

“Both?” Leo shrugged. “Mainly the first one. The consolation is: no one here is actively trying to kill you. Probably.”

“Leo!” Piper chided.

“And,” Leo said, looking pointedly at Piper, “You have us. All of us. We’re here for you, Jase.”

“Totally,” Percy agreed. “If you need me to cause a big scene to distract everyone from your business, let me know. Seriously. I was expelled from my middle school, you know. Twice.”

“How do you get expelled twice?” Piper looked impressed and horrified.

“You go to more than one middle school and get expelled from both of them. Long story.”

Jason almost smiled. Almost.

They crossed onto the school grounds. Luckily, Jason and his friends had arrived close enough to first bell that there weren’t many people loitering around outside. Most students didn’t pause to notice Jason as they scurried up to the main doors. Sitting on one of the benches, however, was an underclassmen girl staring at Jason with her mouth hanging wide open. Jason looked away. They were at the doors then, and Jason found himself scrambling for any reassuring thought he could hold on to.

_Graduation,_ he told himself. Percy marched through the front doors and Jason followed, wedged comfortably between Leo and Piper. Hazel trailed behind them. Two new friends and Jason’s two best friends in the entire world. He told himself that he wasn’t completely alone and tried to take comfort in that.

For the first five seconds, nothing happened. Students crowded the halls, trading gossip and copying homework before first bell. A typical morning at Goode.

The first person to notice Jason was Travis Stoll, who promptly elbowed his brother Connor in the ribs, who tugged on Katie Gardner’s hair. Then, one by one, every conversation in the hallways dropped off into whispers. All eyes fell on Jason’s group. No, not his group. Just him. Jason Grace, the center of attention for the first time in Goode High School history. Even some of the teachers passing through the halls stopped and gawked for a moment before regaining their composure. Four years of trying to fly under the radar dashed in under thirty seconds.

Over by Clarisse La Rue, money was exchanging hands.

“They’ve been making bets on whether or not you’d ever come back to school. I guess Clarisse’s bank account is gonna take a little hit,” Leo mumbled under his breath. Jason walked down the hall, trying his best to look over the heads of everyone else. He was here to graduate, and that was all. _Graduation. Graduation._

Of course, that didn’t mean everyone else was ignoring _him._ A flash of red broke through the sea of gaping students.

Rachel Dare. Of course.

“Hey Jason, how are you doing?” she asked, having to take twice as many steps as Jason to keep up with his long strides. Even Piper and Leo had started to lag, unable to keep pace with the significantly taller (and also in a hurry) Jason.

“I’m fine.”

“How’s Nico?” She didn’t sound malicious or sickly curious like some others might have. That didn’t make the mention of _his_ name any less jarring.

“Fine.”

“How’s your mom?”

“Fine.” Not that he’d seen her with his own eyes since the night of the incident.

“We’ve all been really worried about you.”

“Mmhm,” Jason hummed.

“This isn’t Sixty Minutes, Rachel,” Piper said. “Move along.” Jason didn’t pause to see Rachel’s reaction.

“My first class is the other way,” Hazel murmured. “I’ll see you all at lunch, okay?”

“Yeah, see ya Hazel,” Leo waved as she left. Jason turned down the C hallway when it hit him. He _was_ going to be alone. For the first two periods of the day. _God fucking dammit._

“I gotta go too,” Percy apologized. “I’ll save you a seat in mythology, Jason”

Piper and Leo, to their credit, walked Jason all the way to the door of his first period. He should have been embarrassed. What seventeen year old had his friends walk him to his classes?

God, Jason wished this wasn’t such an issue. He didn’t want it to be an issue. He shouldn’t be so bothered by the curious glances, by the whispers. Nico had held his mother while she died. All Jason had to do was fucking tune out a couple hundred teenagers. Easy. Easy. _Don’t be pathetic._

“Wait in there once the bell rings, I’ll stop by and pick you up,” Piper suggested. Jason cringed.

“It’s fine, Pipes. Really. I can walk myself.”

“Don’t get detention for punching anyone in the face,” Leo said. “I don’t want to have to tell Chiron.”

“Look, there he is!” exclaimed a volleyball girl to her friend. Jason didn’t think he even knew either of their names. “See, Laurel, I _told_ you he didn’t lose an eye.” The girls noticed Jason staring at them. One of them made a small squealing sound and they scurried away, blushing madly.

“Yeah, I’ll just go to my happy place or something.”

Leo raised a brow. “You have one of those?”

Piper elbowed him. “I’ll see you in English. Good luck.” Then Piper and Leo were gone too.

_Inhale._ Jason sucked in a huge breath and turned to face the classroom. _Exhale._ He stepped into the room, which was barely occupied on account of everyone had been distracted by staring at Jason in the hall.

Jason kept his head tilted down and scrolled through his phone while the students all filed in. Some were still whispering. Others dared to speak a little louder. They were all talking about the same thing. Jason tried not to hear them, even as his name, as Nico’s name, as Hades’ name passed their lips over and over and over.

Mrs. Dodds gave a small surprised shout when she finally walked into the classroom. “Good heavens, Jason! You’re here! Welcome back. We’re all so glad you’re okay.”

Jason looked up at his teacher. He blinked.

The God forsaken bell still didn’t ring. When it became clear Jason wasn’t going to say anything, Mrs. Dodds went to her desk and the students went back to gossiping.

Save for one.

Octavian came to stand in front of Jason’s desk, because of course Jason would have his first class of the day with a colossal asshat like him.

“So, Jason, when is di Angelo coming back to school?”

“He isn’t,” Jason said flatly, turning his attention back to the cell phone. Would Nico text back?

“Why? He’s not a wanted criminal anymore, right? He should be in school.”

“Well that’s not really any of your business, Octavian.”

“But it’s your business, apparently. He’s your _boyfriend_ … right?”

The whispers had died down, because no one wanted to miss a fucking word from Jason’s mouth. First period AP Stats had become the epicenter of school gossip the second Jason opened his mouth. Hell, maybe the second he walked through the door. School hadn’t even officially started yet and Jason was ready to walk out. Shame burned down his neck. There were worse things to suffer through, he thought, steeling his nerves.

“Maybe you should focus more on your school work and less on my life, yeah? Or are you planning on being back here next year?”

“Touchy subject,” Octavian drawled. “Were you always so hostile, or did you get it from him?”

The bell rang. Jason’s shoulders relaxed a fraction.

“Everyone take your seats, please. This is a _statistics_ class, lest you forget.”

Apparently, everyone forgot.

…

 

Study hall was arguably worse. Nancy Bobofit and her cronies gossiped all period long about what they’d heard about Jason and Nico, not bothering to whisper.

“Living together for months…”

“…Didn’t know he swung that way.”

“Khione says the whole thing is total bullshit.”

“That’s just because she wants in Jason’s pants.”

“Ew, why?”

“Well, he is pretty hot. So boring though.”

“Not boring anymore. He fought a murderer.”

“I hear he got a couple swings in before the knife was pulled.”

“Oh yeah, where could you have possibly heard that? The only people who were actually there were Nico and Jason.”

“Do you think, if we asked him he would—”

“No,” Jason called back, not lifting his eyes from the AP English book he was reading. (And by reading, he meant staring at the same damn sentence he’d been trying to get through since class began.)

“Did he just say that to us?” One of them asked, more hushed than before but still far from silent.

Jason sighed. Six more weeks.

 

…

 

Jason’s lunchtable was fuller than it had ever been. Beside him was Piper, like she had been before their fight. And across from him was Leo, as he always had been. That much was normal.

But on the other side of Jason was Percy, and beside Percy was Annabeth Chase, his girlfriend and Jason’s coworker. Jason and Annabeth hadn’t spoken since the truth about Nico had gone public, but she didn’t ask any questions as she took her seat beside Percy. In fact, she was only half tuned into the meal, her attention drifting frequently to the architecture history book she had propped open.

And beside Leo was Hazel and her boyfriend, a big quiet senior guy named Frank Zhang who Jason had shared one or two classes with in the past.

He was surrounded by friendly faces, old and new, and they were talking about anything and everything, so long as it wasn’t Nico di Angelo related. Jason had never had a large group of friends. His lunch table had never had more than four people at it, even back when he was fourteen and popular. Jason hated large groups of people.

But this—this felt good, somehow. Normal.

“So you read architecture books for fun, Annabeth?” Leo asked.

“Millions of Americans scream at their TV’s watching overpaid muscle guys throwing around a football. I don’t think being passionate about architecture, or books for that matter, is so strange.”

“I gotta give it to you, you got me there. Hey, remember in elementary school when everyone in music class had to play the recorder?”

“Dude, I played a mean recorder. Don’t even joke about it. Remember Grover? He played the recorder all the way through middle school.” That was Percy, chiming in.

“You’re shitting me.”

“I think he brought it with him to college. He got his black belt in recorder karate.”

Piper: “What the shit is recorder karate?”

Percy: “Oh yeah, you didn’t go to elementary school around here, did you Piper?”

Leo: “I never got past my white belt, personally. Once you know Hot Crossed Buns, what else is there?”

Jason listened to their conversations, trying to follow along as best as he could. Trying to take comfort in the people who only saw him as Jason, not Jason Grace who hid the famous Nico di Angelo in his apartment.

But a single thought hung over him the whole time, unable to be swatted away. He wished Nico were here. The real Nico. Jason’s Nico. He wanted Nico beside him, surrounded by their old and new friends. Jason’s friends. Nico’s friends. They were all together now.

But Nico was missing from the group. Nothing felt whole without him.

And with Nico not here, it felt sort of wrong for Jason to be here. He didn’t want to enjoy himself without Nico.

_What if_ that _Nico is gone forever?_ he dared to think. It was the question that haunted him late at night, haunted him in the mornings when he woke up in bed beside Nico, haunted him as buried himself inside of the other boy and took no pleasure in it. 

He stared down at the sole text he’d gotten from Nico that morning, which had come through while Jason and Piper were in English class.

**Tell Hazel I say hi back. And pay attention in class. I’ll see you when you get back to Chiron’s.**

_Stop thinking about him. Try. For five minutes, even._

“Jason!” said Miranda Gardiner, dropping down in the seat beside Leo. “Glad to see you’re back! I just wanted to ask if you would consider letting me interview you for the school paper? It’s just, you haven’t given any official statements to any real newspapers and it would be so _huge_ for Goode Morning Manhattan—”

“I’m not interested,” Jason dismissed.

“Oh, um okay, let me know if you change your mind, though? It would be _totally_ casual and you wouldn’t even have to talk about, like, the murders or—”

“Go back to your lunch table, Miranda,” Annabeth said, glancing up from her book.

Jason turned to Annabeth, half shocked that she of all people was coming to his aid. Life was so fucking full of surprises these days.

“Right, right, okay,” Miranda said, breaking under the intensity of Annabeth’s stormy gray eyes. She scurried away as fast as she’d come.

“I’m glad Nico’s not coming back here,” Hazel said softly, and it was the first time any of them had spoken his name since arriving at school.

“Me too,” Frank said. Jason realized it was the first thing Frank had said since sitting down. “He’s a good kid, Nico.” He looked at Jason as he said it.

“Yeah,” Jason nodded. He tried not to frown.

_"You're saying what happened to her is my fault? Do you wish I was dead right now instead of her?"_

_"I don't know. Maybe I do."_

 “Yeah, he is.”

 

…

 

“How’s the homework coming along?”

Jason glanced over his shoulder at Nico, sitting cross-legged on the bed.

“I’m about to call it quits for the night,” he said. “I won’t be able to catch up on everything tonight, and all of the teachers are giving me until the end of the week to turn stuff in.”

“Oh, that’s… nice of them.”

Jason nodded and looked back at his book. This was one of the longer conversations they’d had since Jason returned home six hours ago. Even dinner had been fairly quiet. Chiron had given up on trying to get good meal conversation out of them days ago.

Nico hadn’t asked how school had gone, other than the homework.

Jason wasn’t sure he wanted to tell him anyway, though. He was tired of trying to talk, trying to get Nico to talk. A week ago, this silence between them would have killed him.

A week ago, Nico hadn’t told Jason that he wished he’d never met him. That he wished they’d never kissed.

Silence was better than fighting. If those were Nico’s true feelings, Jason felt better _not_ hearing them.

Nico had told him, when they’d made up later that night of the fight, that he hadn’t meant all of what he said. Only, he hadn’t specified which parts were true, and which words were spoken in the heat of the moment.

Jason didn’t even know if he believed in that. Believed in the whole heat of the moment thing. Those words couldn’t have come from nowhere. Nico wouldn’t have, couldn’t have said those things if they hadn’t crossed his mind before… could he?

He bit down hard on his lip. _It doesn’t matter. He’s still here. He’s still here. That has to mean something. I think. I hope. God._

“I think I’ll stop here,” Jason said, slamming his notebook shut. AP Physics was hard enough when Jason was able to focus on it. With his brain a scrambled, scattered mess it was near impossible.

He felt useless. And not just because he couldn’t wrap his mind around electric circuits. Nico was right there, five feet away from him, he’d lost everything in the world, and Jason was too pathetic to help him. Too afraid of crossing a line and scaring him off.

Jason was a coward.

Helping Nico, making up for all the ways that Jason had hurt him, that should be Jason’s priority. If he truly loved Nico, he owed him that much. _It shouldn’t matter if I lose him,_ Jason thought miserably, _I should only care if he is all right. I’ll be okay as long as he is. I owe him that._

“Come to bed, then,” Nico said, his eyes following Jason’s every move. There was hunger in his gaze. It made Jason’s stomach twist.

“How were you, today? How did things go at the store?”

“They were fine. It was boring.” Nico scooted back on the bed, pulling his shirt up over his head. Jason didn’t move from the desk chair.

A line wrinkle formed between the younger boy’s brows. “I thought you were done with homework?”

“Yeah, I am. I’m not really tired yet, though.”

“Neither am I,” Nico said, tugging his pants down.

Jason averted his eyes. “Hazel mentioned something in seventh period, today. About getting your clothes and stuff from… from your family’s apartment.”

“I don’t want anything to do with that place,” Nico’s voice was dead even. “Come to bed, Jay.”

Nico using his own personal nickname for Jason had once felt so intimate. Now it stung in ways Jason couldn’t put words to.

“You don’t have to go back there. I would never ask you to do that. But like, what if she and I got some of your things? There must be some stuff you want.”

Jason heard an impatient breath and shuffling around from the direction of the bed. Footsteps. Was Nico walking away?

An undressed Nico appeared suddenly before Jason, tugging the desk chair so the two of them were face to face. “All I want right now is this,” Nico said, lowering himself onto Jason’s lap and pressing their lips together.

When Nico reached for the button of Jason’s jeans, he didn’t stop him.

Words fled the room, replaced by hungry kisses and frantic touches and the sound of Nico’s groans against Jason’s mouth. The feel of Nico’s skin on Jason’s newly bare thighs. The sensation of burying himself in Nico. Of being surrounded by him.

And underneath all that. Underneath everything, a thought that resonated through Jason’s entire being with the persistence of a heartbeat.

He was a coward.

He was a coward.

He was a coward.

 

…

 

Their voices followed him down the hall. A thousand different mouths, the same words. “Yeah, no, this isn’t some media bullshit, dude. Did you see Nico’s cousin sitting with him at lunch yesterday? He and Nico are totally boning.”

“How long do you think he was hiding Nico without anyone knowing? It’s so fucking crazy, right? I would have never—”

 “It sounds kind of hot, honestly. Life or death situations. That’s like the storybook time to fall in love with someone. Jason’s the prince or something.”

“Does that make Nico the princess?”

“Gross! Also, Jason Grace is hardly a prince, and I don’t think you’re his type.”

“Jason Grace and Nico di Angelo? I’m still calling bullshit. No way.”

“Man, I’m telling you, Octavian confronted him about it in class the other day and he didn’t even deny it.”

“Rachel said she can still hear them screaming in her dreams sometimes. Poor girl, right?”

“Rachel might get to testify at the trial or something. Is there a trial when you _confess_ to murder?”

“I never even saw Jason and Nico speak to each other before this whole murder business.”

“I don’t think Nico spoke to _anyone_ at school. Except Bianca.”

“Maybe Jason and Nico had a thing for each other and we just didn’t know it? Apparently they keep plenty of secrets.”

“Jason’s second in our class. His life becomes some crazy crime thriller novel and he still does better than me in Econ. Figures.”

Jason kept his head down. He tried to tune them out. He tried.

Every time Nico’s name left someone’s lips, it got harder and harder to drown out the sound. It was only Wednesday, his third day back, and Jason wanted to scream down the hallways.

_Shut up!_ he would yell. _Don’t you people have lives of your own? Obsess over those for a change!_

The whispers were one thing. He could at least try to ignore them. Worse were the people bold enough to actually approach him.

“Hey Grace! Who are you texting? Nico di Angelo?” Matt Sloane snorted, bumping shoulders with him in the hallway outside of his Advanced Drawing class.

“Dear Nico, I miss you soooo much. XOXO Jason,” added his friend, in a high, mocking voice.

“Original,” Hazel mumbled, brushing past Sloane’s crew and into the classroom. “Come on, Jason.”

“Nothing to say for yourself, Grace?” Sloane raised a brow at Jason. “That’s your style, isn’t it? Flying under the radar? How’s that goin’ for ya?”

“Leave me alone,” he grumbled.

When he walked into the room, he caught Reyna Arellano giving him a curious look. Jason didn’t have time to think about what that meant. So far since returning to school, Jason’s former Advanced Drawing tablemate had said nothing one way or another about the Nico situation. If he had any room left in his brain, he might have wondered what she made of this whole Nico situation.

But he didn’t have the room, the time, or the energy.

He took his seat beside Hazel. “I hate people.”

Rachel Dare entered the room. She hadn’t said anything else to Jason since Monday, but she always seemed to be staring at him every time he looked her way. And she was staring at him now.

Forgoing her usual seat, she came to stand before Jason’s table. He prepared himself for more unbearable Nico related talk. Rachel had become one of the most talked about girls in school these last few weeks, and she didn’t appear to be nearly as dragged down by it as Jason. Everyone liked you when you were the hero of the night who called the cops, thus saving lives and unravelling one of the biggest mysteries Manhattan had seen in years.

Jason was not a hero. He had saved no one. The thought left him feeling very cold inside.

“I’m _really_ not in the mood, Rachel,” he said, his voice like a sigh.

“I just—I um—Matt and Octavian and all those other guys, they’re jerks. Don’t let them keep you up at night.”

“They aren’t keeping me up at night.”

“Well, something clearly is,” she murmured. “Just get some sleep, okay? You look exhausted.”

“Thanks?”

Rachel returned to her usual seat. She wasn’t looking at him anymore.

But Hazel was. “You do look exhausted,” she said, squinting her eyes at him. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“It’s fine, I’m fine.” Jason needed to be fine. There was too much on his plate for him to be anything _but_ fine. So what if Jason spent the last two nights—truthfully, it was more nights than two—staring up at the ceiling of his new bedroom and questioning everything that had brought him to this point?

_"You're saying what happened to her is my fault? Do you wish I was dead right now instead of her?"_

_"I don't know. Maybe I do."_

“Really, I’m fine,” he repeated, thankful when Hazel didn’t comment on the way his voice cracked over the words.

 

…

While his mornings and school days had irreversibly changed, Jason’s afternoon walks home were the same as ever. Leo, basically the only constant in Jason’s life through all of this, walking down the street with him like nothing had changed. Like they were just the same old Jason and Leo.

They weren’t, though.

“Okay so like, Jase, _what_ is the deal with you and Neeks? I get not talking about him at school but one of us mentions him and you act like we’re saying something really bad, like ‘plague rats.’”

“Plague rats?” Jason said, totally not deflecting the question. Definitely not doing that.

“It was the first thing that popped into my head, don’t change the subject. What is up with you two? They’ve been off for weeks.”

Sweat beaded on Jason’s forehead. A large part of maintaining his cool about the Nico situation was not talking about the Nico situation with others when he could avoid it, especially not in broad daylight.

“Well, a lot has happened lately. To Nico.”

“To both of you,” Leo corrected, which really pissed Jason off for some reason. Like what Jason had gone through was somehow as significant as what Nico had.

“Whatever. Things don’t just… fall back into step over night. I don’t even know what normal is anymore. Maybe this is our new normal.”

Leo scowled. “Yeah, uh, let’s hope not.”

They turned onto Chiron’s street and nearly crashed into him. A boy, several inches shorter than Jason, dark haired and ivory skinned. A familiar, familiar boy who apparently was in quite the hurry to get… somewhere. A fist clenched around Jason’s heart as their eyes met at the same moment.

 “Jason,” Nico exclaimed, as if Jason was the last person on planet earth Nico had expected to see less than a block from Chiron’s apartment.

“Nico, hi. You surprised me.”

“You’re outside,” Leo added, sounding plenty surprised himself. There was something in his friend’s expression that Jason didn’t understand. Like there was some significance to things that Jason was missing. At this point, it wouldn’t shock him. Apparently, Jason missed a lot these days.

“Needed some air,” Nico said, smiling weakly.

“Do you want to take a walk?” Jason asked. It was so fucking weird. Nico outside on his own accord. As if he hadn’t been holing up in their bedroom for over a week. What was that wild look in his eyes for? There was something frantic about him right now, and it unsettled Jason deeply.

“No, I’ve got my fill of air. He grabbed Jason by the backpack strap. “Let’s go inside.”

Leo shot Nico another indecipherable look. What was up with him, Jason wondered again. Even Leo Valdez kept secrets now.

“I’ll… catch you guys later. See you tomorrow, Jase.”

“Yeah, see you,” Jason said, giving his friend one last look. As Leo turned and headed toward home, Jason let Nico pull him back toward Delphi.

On the way through the front door, they crossed paths with a woman Jason recognized as Nico’s social worker. What the hell was she doing here? Jason’s stomach dropped. Was today the day she came to take Nico away? No, no. They couldn’t take Nico away from him yet. Or, you know, ever.  

“Have a good afternoon, boys.”

“You’re leaving?” Jason asked her.

“Yes, my business is done here for the day.”

Nico’s jaw clenched. Jason watched the other boy’s whole demeanor change. The puzzle pieces still hadn’t fit together, but Jason was starting to see the shape they were making.

Nico outside. Nico looking so frantic. Nico and the social worker must had already spoken, and whatever she had to say had not made Nico too happy.

“Nico,” she said, “I’ll be calling on you again soon.”

“Oh, I believe it,” he retorted, pulling Jason past her faster than what could be considered casual.

“Someone should be watching the store,” Jason said as they trudged up the stairs.

“Annabeth is here,” Nico said. “She was just doing inventory in the back.”

“Oh. So… you talked to the social worker?” What a stupid question. Jason Grace, the useless boyfriend.

Nico threw open the door into the apartment. Chiron and—to Jason’s surprise—Hestia were seated together at the kitchen table. They put down their tea cups as Nico burst into the apartment.

“I _can’t_ stay with you, Hestia,” Nico said without preamble. Jason’s stomach dropped to his feet. _Don’t panic, Jason._ “Tell the court you won’t do it.”

The woman before them, who was only in her fifties but had started looking much older as of late, looked melancholy as she took in different details about Nico’s demeanor. Probably she could see things swirling inside of the boy that useless Jason couldn’t identify. Probably she could help Nico more than Jason ever could.

“Nico, you and I need to talk about this,” she said, her voice gentle. Because Hestia was rational. Hestia had decades on Jason. She knew far more about the world than some naïve lovesick seventeen year old.

Nico shook his head violently. “No, Hestia, I _can’t._ You don’t understand but I—”

He struggled over the words, and Jason thought that maybe Nico was just as terrified at the prospect of being apart as Jason was. Maybe they still had that much. Maybe.

“I just can’t.”

He dragged Jason into the bedroom with him before any further words can be spoken.

“Nico,” Jason whispered as the door shut behind them. “Talk to me. I’m here.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Once again, Jason caught himself wanting to scream. So many feelings had been swelling inside of him lately, and this one was the scariest of all. Like one wrong step and Jason would go off. Though what ‘going off’ meant for him, he wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to know.

“Yes,” he sputtered, “there is.”

Nico reached around Jason to lock the door. They were close. Too close. Jason could feel Nico’s racing heartbeat in his own chest.

“I missed you today,” Nico whispered, surging forward and pressing his lips to Jason’s. Jason, temporarily startled, took a minute to react. When Jason hesitantly looped his arms around Nico and pulled him in closer, he thought he felt Nico shudder.

“Nico,” Jason breathed into the kiss, more out of reluctance than arousal. After the day he’d had, the week he’d had, hell after the past five minutes, Jason didn’t think he could bear to go through this again. The thought of sex with Nico borderline nauseated him. Was this the only way in the whole fucking world Jason could help him?

“Please,” Nico whispered, “No talking right now.”

Was this all he was good for anymore?

Jason conceded. As he had every time before.

It was a blur. From the door to the bed. Everything felt distant, like this was happening to two other boys and Jason was watching from a distant.

Nico’s fingernails digging into the skin of Jason’s back, however, proved otherwise.

This was devastatingly real.

And yes, devastating was the right word for it. Because Jason loved this boy more than he loved the world, more than he loved himself, and fucking him felt like absolute misery. Nico’s fingernails could have been tipped with poison.

When Jason finished, their eyes accidentally met.

“I love you,” Jason said, unable to stop the words. “I love you.” He needed Nico to know. He didn’t know why he needed Nico to know so badly.

He didn’t know if Nico was the one who needed to hear it.

 

…

 

It was well after midnight when Jason wandered into the kitchen. He couldn’t possibly sleep. Not with his mind, no, his whole being, this troubled.

_Nico is not okay. He has never been less okay. What can I do for him? Why is nothing working?_

_Every time I tell him I love him, he looks like he wants to throw up._

_Stop saying it. Stop forcing your feelings on him. Take what you can get._

_No, that is cheating. Help him. Just help him. He needs you to help him. You have to help him._

“Can’t sleep?” A deep voice asked. Jason jumped. There was Chiron at the kitchen table in almost complete darkness, the sole light above the stove casting the apartment in shadow, distorting the size of everything.

“You neither?”

“Old men need quiet time to think, too, you know.”

Jason fell into the chair opposite of him. “Is Hestia going to take Nico away from us?”

“Hestia is… a good woman, Jason. You know that. She’s known Nico most of his life.”

Chiron may as well have hit him. In the face. In the gut. All over. “You’re on her side now? You don’t want Nico to stay with us?” He could barely keep his voice level.

“It’s not about sides, Son. We’re all on the same side. We want what is best for Nico, don’t we?”

“Yes, of course. That’s why he needs to stay with us. He _needs_ me, Chiron. And I—I need him. I need to help him. I need to protect him. I—I— _Chiron._ ”

The bookseller sighed. Coming from him, it was a terribly melancholy sound. “I know _how_ you are trying to help him. It’s not good, Jason. Not for either of you. This last week has convinced me more than ever that you boys need some… space.”

Jason shook his head frantically. Why was Chiron saying these things? Chiron loved Nico. Chiron supported Jason’s feelings for him. Chiron was supposed to believe in them. “Nico can’t be separated from me right now. He won’t take it well. He won’t be able to handle it. Period.”

“Just Nico won’t be able to handle it? You aren’t reacting this way because _you_ can’t bear to be away from him?”

“This isn’t about me.”

And then Chiron Brunner did something Jason may never have seen the man do in the years he’d known him. He raised his voice at Jason, “It’s _your_ life, Jason! Of course it’s about you!”

Jason recoiled. In the dim light, Chiron’s face was half shadow. Jason could barely recognize him. Maybe he wasn’t the only one who’d been at his breaking point lately.

“I don’t follow.”

“Since all this started, you’ve been so laser-focused on Nico’s mental and emotional state. How Nico is doing. Always Nico. Only Nico. I worry about him. I really do. But I worry about you, too. You’re my responsibility now, Jason, and I can’t sit back any longer while you let yourself go to ruins. You would lay down and die for that boy without a moment’s thought about your own life and the people who care about you. You’re right that Nico isn’t okay. Nico has an ocean of problems waiting to crash down on him. But you, Jason, are not okay either. Not even remotely.”

All the air had been sucked from his lungs. He wanted to protest, wanted to say anything, but he couldn’t even breathe.

“I can’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do,” Chiron admitted. “You’re seventeen, and you’ll be eighteen in a few months. Boys your age ought to be able to make their own choices but please, I beg you, talk to that therapist I mentioned. Don’t do it for me. Don’t do it for Nico. Do it for you.”

He slid Jason a piece of paper. A business card, he realized belatedly.

_Dr. Demeter McCaffrey_ it read, with a phone number and an address listed underneath.

“Chiron,” Jason whispered, rediscovering his breath but finding no words. Chiron’s words hit him over and over again, refusing to sink in.

The older man was already rising from his chair. “I’m going to bed. I suggest you do the same soon. School in the morning.”

He disappeared into his bedroom, leaving Jason alone in the mostly dark apartment.

_“This last week has convinced me more than ever that you boys need some… space.”_

_“It’s your life, Jason! Of course it’s about you!”_

_“You’re right that Nico isn’t okay. Nico has an ocean of problems waiting to crash down on him. But you, Jason, are not okay either. Not even remotely.”_

He was wrong. Chiron was wrong. He didn’t know what he was talking about. He didn’t understand anything about Jason and Nico after all.

.

.

.

Did he?

 

…

 

Jason expected school Thursday to be just as bad as it had all week. As it turned out, he was wrong.

Because it was even worse.

“Jason! You’re Jason Grace, right?” A blonde woman in a blazer said, jumping out at Jason and Leo before they could cross onto school grounds. Beside her stood a man with a camera resting in his arms. “My name is Martha Rhodes, I’m with Channel 2 news, could we maybe get a few words from you?”

“We’re going to school, lady,” Leo said. “Do you mind?”

“Um, who are you?”

“Leo, his best friend.”

“Would you like to talk to us, kid? What has school been like with Jason back? Do you know Nico di Angelo personally? Have you seen him?”

“Leave us alone,” Jason said, finding his voice after the shock wore off. Of course they knew where he went to school. Why wouldn’t they? Jason was shocked no one had showed up here before. “I have no interest in speaking to you or anyone else.”

“Jason, you’re famous! Everyone wants to know what this experience has been like for you. We support you.”

“Support me? By harassing me? Trying to turn homicide into some epic story? Yeah right,” Jason scoffed. “Come on, Leo.”

“You can’t come on to school property or you’ll get in trouble!” Leo called back to the reporter, Martha something or other.

When they turned onto the walkway leading up to the school doors, Jason saw more students than ever staring at him. Their mouths half opened, questions formed on their lips if only they were brave enough to voice them. Jason hoped no one was brave enough.

Jason was done with this. He was _so_ done. He had enough on his mind with everything that had happened last night, his argument with Chiron, Nico’s living situation… If one more person brought up Nico to him, Jason would… he didn’t know what he’d do. How could he not think about Nico when every other fucking person seemed to be doing it?

And then, first period.

“Everything in the news is true, isn’t it?” Silena Beauregard, a girl that Jason didn’t actually dislike, asked as he took his seat in AP Stats. It was clear that everyone in the class, overtly or not, was listening.

“What do you want me to say?” Jason snapped, “Yes? No? I don’t follow the news about my own flipping life, Silena.”

“Nico’s father tried to kill you?”

Jason shrugged. He didn’t look at her. He didn’t look at anyone.

“God, Jason, are you—like, are you okay?”

“I’m fucking peachy, thanks.”

“Hey,” Clarisse La Rue—Silena’s best friend and also an unquestionably tough girl—got to her feet. “You don’t need to be such a dick to her, Grace.”

Jason stood too. “Clarisse, you took _bets_ on whether or not I would show up to school again! Or whether Nico would show up to school? Or who the hell knows, maybe you were betting on whether or not I would still have ten goddamn fingers. You wanna count them?”

“Students,” Mrs. Dodds said, suddenly bursting into the room. “I could hear you from down the hall! You are all _AP students,_ act like it. Mr. Grace, we know that this has been a hard few weeks for you, but—”

“I _know_ you know, Mrs. Dodds. Or you think you do, at least.” He couldn’t stop his mouth from running. Where had this rage boiling inside of him come from? Had the reporter caused him to feel this way? “That’s what’s so damn hilarious.”

“Jason Grace soapbox hour,” Octavian chuckled to his friend.

“Bite me, Octavian.”

“No thanks, I’ll leave that to di Angelo.”

“You piece of—”

“STUDENTS,” Mrs. Dodds repeated, louder this time. “Jason, Octavian, Clarisse. Go talk to the principal. Or the counselor. Or the nurse. Just, go. We don’t need that kind of behavior today, come back when you can behave like _scholars._ ”

Jason had thrown his backpack over his shoulder before the woman could even finish speaking. Seventeen years old, a month and a half out from graduation, and he had never been sent out of a class before.

And he didn’t even care.

He didn’t care about any of it.

Jason sat in the nurse’s office all the way until the end of lunch, and tried his best to ignore the white-haired nurse’s pitying looks.

 

…

 

_What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me?_

Chiron had been mad about the whole ‘kicked out of class and spent half the day in the nurse’s office’ thing when the school had called him about it, but when Jason got home and faced his guardian, there had been no anger. Apparently Jason looked so shitty, so wrecked, that Chiron had actually believed Jason was ill.

Who knew? Maybe he was. Maybe the sick-to-his-stomach feeling was an honest to God illness. Maybe that was what felt so wrong inside of him. Maybe he had the flu, or something worse. Maybe he was dying, with his luck.

In Greek mythology, Atlas was the titan tasked with holding up the sky. He literally had to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders. Jason didn’t know how it didn’t crush him.

He thought that maybe, being Atlas was sort of like being Nico. So much had been dropped on Nico’s shoulders these past months. Hell, so much had been on his shoulders his whole life. Anything else and Nico’s knees could very well buckle.

So Jason splashed some water on his face, he shook off the school day as best as he could, and tried to be the regular, reliable Jason that Nico needed him to be. Nico deserved that much, even though he refused to acknowledge the sheer amount of shit weighing him down.

Needless to say, Jason didn’t tell Nico about what happened at school.

When both boys had eaten an awkwardly silent dinner, when Jason had finished his homework (caught up at last), he thought maybe Nico would ask about school. He thought he would have to lie about it.

But Nico didn’t ask.

The second Jason closed his notebook, Nico was on him. Tugging at the chair, turning it to face Nico and the bed. “Fucking finally,” he gasped, going straight for Jason’s throat and pressing near violent kisses there.

Jason remembered Octavian’s stupid comment, about the biting, and nearly shoved Nico to the floor. “Don’t,” he murmured. He thought he might be shaking.

“Don’t?” Nico choked, looking stricken. “Don’t what, kiss your neck?”

The panic in Nico’s eyes was enough to make Jason reconsider. “Never mind, it’s fine.”

Nico nodded, moving to kiss Jason’s lips instead. Kiss being the operative word. Really, it was Nico attacking Jason with his tongue and Jason struggling to keep up. Struggling to even focus on the kiss.

He felt like this at night sometimes, caught between awake and asleep, when no matter how hard he tried to convince himself he was awake, his body and mind couldn’t respond correctly. Only now, he felt something far worse than sleep falling over him.

And he was definitely, definitely shaking. Nico hadn’t noticed. Maybe he was shaking too. Maybe the whole world was shaking.

“I need you to fuck me,” Nico rasped in Jason’s ear.

He descended on Jason’s mouth again, not breaking the kiss even as he guided Jason onto the bed. Narrow fingers found their way down the front of Jason’s pants, and only then did he realize how completely soft he was. He’d never felt less present while kissing Nico. Never felt less into it.

“Don’t be gentle. I don’t want you to be gentle, okay?” Nico’s fingers wrapped deftly around Jason’s dick.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Jason said, trying for softer, sweeter kisses. Trying to find the boy he loved more than anything in their mess of limbs and labored breathing.

Jason’s breathing was _more_ than labored, he realized. It was panicked. Jason was freaking the fuck out. Was this a panic attack?

_Stop that, Jason,_ he pulled Nico closer and shuddered. This was wrong. This was wrong. This felt so fucking unspeakably _wrong._

_What is fucking wrong with me?_

Unbidden, the words of his friends and family flooded his mind.

Piper, after Jason had told her the truth: _“Just… think of yourself every now and then, okay? Nico has been through hell, but your life lately hasn’t been a walk in the park, either.”_

Thalia, on the phone: _“Jason, someone tried to take your life. I love Nico, he’s great and you love him so much and I’m happy for you, but I need to make sure you are okay first.”_

_“Give those feelings some attention, okay? Two emotionally traumatized teenage boys is a lot for poor old Chiron to handle.”_

His conversation with Leo the other day as they walked home: _“Well, a lot has happened lately. To Nico.”_

_“To both of you.”_

Chiron, last night: _“You, Jason, are not okay either. Not even remotely.”_

Nico didn’t react to Jason’s gentler kisses. “That’s fine,” he whispered. “Hurt me,” he whispered. “I don’t care. You can make it hurt. Just _fuck me_ , Jason.”

“Wh—what?” Jason choked out. Literally he choked on the words. His head was screaming. The room was filling with water. _An ocean of problems,_ Chiron had said. Maybe Nico wasn’t the only one lost at sea. “I can’t do that.”

“What do you mean you _can’t?_ ” Nico’s voice was an octave too high. “Jason I need you _right now_. I need you. Fuck, just fuck me like I don’t matter to you or something. I don’t care. Just fucking do it. I. Need. It.”

This was a nightmare. No, it wasn’t. It was Jason’s life. Jason Grace’s living nightmare.

“ _Nico_. I can’t. I can’t. I—I—”

Nico wasn’t Atlas, after all.

Jason was. And he couldn’t bear the weight of the world any longer.

_What’s wrong with me?_

_Everything. Absolutely fucking everything._

A frown crossed Nico’s face as he finally took in Jason’s expression. As he looked at Jason’s face for what might have been the first time all night. “Jason?”

_I am not fine. I. Am._ Not. _Fine._

And then Jason did something he had not done, even once, since everything had fallen apart.

He began to sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, this chapter is pretty... upsetting. And frustrating. I'm sorry for that, guys. Believe it or not, the end of this chapter is actually a good thing! Nico and Jason need to lay out all their feelings if they can ever hope to mend their relationship.
> 
> Also, I'm sure everyone is VERY frustrated with Nico. That's kind of intentional. I wanted this chapter to be very stuck in Jason's head and Jason's experience with what is happening, so readers could feel as lost about Nico's thoughts as Jason was. There were Nico sections originally, but I kicked them out of this chapter. You'll hear from him soon.
> 
> Lastly, I ask you not to judge either of these boys too harshly. They are REALLY not in good places mentally right now. I wanted to explore as authentically as possible what kind of toll an experience like theirs would take on a relationship, and I hope everyone reading this can see what I am doing and understands it. Things had to get really, really bad in order for Jason or Nico to fully realize, wow, this is super fucked up. 
> 
> Ah, I'm rambling. Sorry. I've been missing this story. I am putting When You Least Expect It on a sort of hiatus while I try to crank out a few more chapters of this. The end is getting so close I can taste it. I am greedy for it. This story is basically my pride and joy. 
> 
> I hope this long, long chapter proved to be a good one! I doubt it was worth the wait, as no chapter is worth a nearly 8 month wait, but I hope you at least weren't disappointed. As always, I love to hear from you guys. Shoot me a comment or, if you want, message me at nephilimgirlbooks.tumblr.com


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